At Wits End.......kinda long
Lori
I've been a member of this group on and off for a while. I really
enjoy reading all the advice and how-to's.Here's why I'm at my wits
end. We had been learning at home since about 2nd grade with my son
Chris. Last fall he wanted to go back to school. He's 10 now and I
really think he thought he was missing something even though we did a
lot of different stuff. I'm not one to sit around at home. I tried to
talk him out of it but this was something he really wanted to do. So
off he went to school. In the beginning it was fun. He liked meeting
the kids and doing the fun stuff about school.But now the teachers
are getting at him to work harder and get his homework done and
turned in. I help him with all this but it's something he hates to
do. He has a lot of trouble with his handwriting. The teachers are
really on him about being neat and he trys but it's really hard for
him. They even put him in 3rd (he's supposed to be in 4th) because of
his handwriting and they give the MEAPs in 4th and there are essays
to write and I think they thought he'd bring thier curve down. Anyway
in the last couple of monthes he's started to lie to me about what he
has to get done and homework. This bothers me most of all. He never
had to lie to me before. This morning I got a call from the principal
as soon as I got home from dropping him off. She said he was in her
office because he wasn't finshing his work in class or doing his
homework. She said he was going to stay there until he finished and
then he could go to class. If it was just up to me I would of taken
him out months ago but my husband wants him to finish the school
year. My husband doesn't get unschooling even though I try and show
him. He thinks you have to go to school to learn what they teach and
I'm the total opposite.I see it everyday with Chris when he's not in
school and his brother Colt who's 4. I just don't know what to do.
It's going against my grain to make Chris do these things. I can't
really back up a teacher or principal if I don't believe in what
their doing. This is all so stressful on Chris too that he doesn't
learn anything anyway. I guess after all this I'm just looking for
some advice or works of encouragement. I think it's going to be a
rough day for everybody.
Thanks,
Lori in MI
enjoy reading all the advice and how-to's.Here's why I'm at my wits
end. We had been learning at home since about 2nd grade with my son
Chris. Last fall he wanted to go back to school. He's 10 now and I
really think he thought he was missing something even though we did a
lot of different stuff. I'm not one to sit around at home. I tried to
talk him out of it but this was something he really wanted to do. So
off he went to school. In the beginning it was fun. He liked meeting
the kids and doing the fun stuff about school.But now the teachers
are getting at him to work harder and get his homework done and
turned in. I help him with all this but it's something he hates to
do. He has a lot of trouble with his handwriting. The teachers are
really on him about being neat and he trys but it's really hard for
him. They even put him in 3rd (he's supposed to be in 4th) because of
his handwriting and they give the MEAPs in 4th and there are essays
to write and I think they thought he'd bring thier curve down. Anyway
in the last couple of monthes he's started to lie to me about what he
has to get done and homework. This bothers me most of all. He never
had to lie to me before. This morning I got a call from the principal
as soon as I got home from dropping him off. She said he was in her
office because he wasn't finshing his work in class or doing his
homework. She said he was going to stay there until he finished and
then he could go to class. If it was just up to me I would of taken
him out months ago but my husband wants him to finish the school
year. My husband doesn't get unschooling even though I try and show
him. He thinks you have to go to school to learn what they teach and
I'm the total opposite.I see it everyday with Chris when he's not in
school and his brother Colt who's 4. I just don't know what to do.
It's going against my grain to make Chris do these things. I can't
really back up a teacher or principal if I don't believe in what
their doing. This is all so stressful on Chris too that he doesn't
learn anything anyway. I guess after all this I'm just looking for
some advice or works of encouragement. I think it's going to be a
rough day for everybody.
Thanks,
Lori in MI
nancy sebastian
Dear lori. i feel for you. that is one of the reason
why i pulled my kids out of public schools. I really
don't have any suggestions only stay by your son. What
ever he decides he will make up his mind one way or
anouther. my kids seem to be thriving on
homeschooling. and they are makeing better grades and
doing more reading and writting. than they did in
school. im sorry if this does not help you. but i
really do know what you are going threw. nancy in
illinois
--- Lori <LWILLSON7@...> wrote:
God Bless You
Nancy
why i pulled my kids out of public schools. I really
don't have any suggestions only stay by your son. What
ever he decides he will make up his mind one way or
anouther. my kids seem to be thriving on
homeschooling. and they are makeing better grades and
doing more reading and writting. than they did in
school. im sorry if this does not help you. but i
really do know what you are going threw. nancy in
illinois
--- Lori <LWILLSON7@...> wrote:
God Bless You
Nancy
Pam Sorooshian
On Mar 9, 2005, at 7:34 AM, Lori wrote:
You didn't mention what your son wants to do about all this - what does
he say?
-pam
> Anyway in the last couple of monthes he's started to lie to me aboutOh Lori - that's sad.
> what he
> has to get done and homework. This bothers me most of all. He never
> had to lie to me before.
You didn't mention what your son wants to do about all this - what does
he say?
-pam
Robyn Coburn
<<<<<If it was just up to me I would of taken
him out months ago but my husband wants him to finish the school
year. My husband doesn't get unschooling even though I try and show
him.>>>>>>
If your son *wants* to leave the school, and it certainly sounds like it is
becoming a toxic experience for him, I hope you can convince your dh to let
him stop now, before more damage to your various relationships is done.
However if your dh will absolutely not agree to now, but does agree to at
the end of the school year, perhaps it will give your ds some heart and hope
of he knows that it is not going to be forever.
<<<<<It's going against my grain to make Chris do these things. I can't
really back up a teacher or principal if I don't believe in what
their doing.>>>>
Don't *make* him do these things. Ask if he wants some help with the
temporary hoops he must go through. Let the teachers know that he has your
support, and perhaps explain (depending on your State laws) that you will be
making other arrangements next school year for Chris's education. That might
take the pressure off them to "make" him do the work they feel is necessary.
Robyn L. Coburn
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him out months ago but my husband wants him to finish the school
year. My husband doesn't get unschooling even though I try and show
him.>>>>>>
If your son *wants* to leave the school, and it certainly sounds like it is
becoming a toxic experience for him, I hope you can convince your dh to let
him stop now, before more damage to your various relationships is done.
However if your dh will absolutely not agree to now, but does agree to at
the end of the school year, perhaps it will give your ds some heart and hope
of he knows that it is not going to be forever.
<<<<<It's going against my grain to make Chris do these things. I can't
really back up a teacher or principal if I don't believe in what
their doing.>>>>
Don't *make* him do these things. Ask if he wants some help with the
temporary hoops he must go through. Let the teachers know that he has your
support, and perhaps explain (depending on your State laws) that you will be
making other arrangements next school year for Chris's education. That might
take the pressure off them to "make" him do the work they feel is necessary.
Robyn L. Coburn
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[email protected]
In a message dated 3/10/2005 4:06:15 AM Mountain Standard Time,
dezigna@... writes:
<<<<<It's going against my grain to make Chris do these things. I can't
really back up a teacher or principal if I don't believe in what
their doing.>>>>
----------------
_http://sandradodd.com/schoolchoice_ (http://sandradodd.com/schoolchoice)
Here's what my sister did when the school was making her very crazy:
detached from it emotionally. She didn't support and back up teachers. She gave
her kids the option of participating or not, and she wasn't their
lieutenant/deputy/enforcer anymore.
Sandra
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
dezigna@... writes:
<<<<<It's going against my grain to make Chris do these things. I can't
really back up a teacher or principal if I don't believe in what
their doing.>>>>
----------------
_http://sandradodd.com/schoolchoice_ (http://sandradodd.com/schoolchoice)
Here's what my sister did when the school was making her very crazy:
detached from it emotionally. She didn't support and back up teachers. She gave
her kids the option of participating or not, and she wasn't their
lieutenant/deputy/enforcer anymore.
Sandra
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Lori
I just wanted to let everybody know that we took Chris out of school
yesterday!!! When my husband got home we started to really talk about
what was happening. He told me he was afraid that if we kept letting
him leave school(second time) that he would grow up and when things
got hard he'd look for someone else to help him. I showed him that
Chris isn't like that when he plays his video games or anything else
that really interests him. He keeps trying until he beats the level
and then the game itself or whatever else he's trying to do. If it's
something he wants then it's more important to him to see it through.
After a long conversation with my husband about it we made a
compromise. Chris has to do some math and handwriting for his Dad but
the rest of the day is free for us.We can get that done in a little
over an hour so I guess that's what we'll do until his Dad can see
the joys of unschooling.
Chris was overjoyed about the outcome! He's been wanting to come back
home for awhile. After I picked him up I told the princepal we were
checking out so now we're free and Chris is bouncing off the walls
right now. I figure he'll mellow out after a while.
Thanks to everyone who responded to my e-mail. This site is a real
help in our journey.
Lori in MI
yesterday!!! When my husband got home we started to really talk about
what was happening. He told me he was afraid that if we kept letting
him leave school(second time) that he would grow up and when things
got hard he'd look for someone else to help him. I showed him that
Chris isn't like that when he plays his video games or anything else
that really interests him. He keeps trying until he beats the level
and then the game itself or whatever else he's trying to do. If it's
something he wants then it's more important to him to see it through.
After a long conversation with my husband about it we made a
compromise. Chris has to do some math and handwriting for his Dad but
the rest of the day is free for us.We can get that done in a little
over an hour so I guess that's what we'll do until his Dad can see
the joys of unschooling.
Chris was overjoyed about the outcome! He's been wanting to come back
home for awhile. After I picked him up I told the princepal we were
checking out so now we're free and Chris is bouncing off the walls
right now. I figure he'll mellow out after a while.
Thanks to everyone who responded to my e-mail. This site is a real
help in our journey.
Lori in MI
Robyn Coburn
<<<<<After a long conversation with my husband about it we made a
compromise. Chris has to do some math and handwriting for his Dad but
the rest of the day is free for us.We can get that done in a little
over an hour so I guess that's what we'll do until his Dad can see
the joys of unschooling.>>>>>
Huzaahs!!! I'm so glad for you.
To help with this other school residual issue, that over time could become a
barrier to fully Unschooling:
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/UnschoolingDads/
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/SSUDs/
These are the two Unschooling discussion groups that my dh is subscribed to.
They are not hugely busy but he enjoys them.
Robyn L. Coburn
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compromise. Chris has to do some math and handwriting for his Dad but
the rest of the day is free for us.We can get that done in a little
over an hour so I guess that's what we'll do until his Dad can see
the joys of unschooling.>>>>>
Huzaahs!!! I'm so glad for you.
To help with this other school residual issue, that over time could become a
barrier to fully Unschooling:
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/UnschoolingDads/
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/SSUDs/
These are the two Unschooling discussion groups that my dh is subscribed to.
They are not hugely busy but he enjoys them.
Robyn L. Coburn
--
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Checked by AVG Anti-Virus.
Version: 7.0.308 / Virus Database: 266.6.4 - Release Date: 3/7/2005
Ruth
> <<<<<After a long conversation with my husband about it we made a*****
> compromise. Chris has to do some math and handwriting for his Dad but
> the rest of the day is free for us
Take heart Robyn cos dads can change. My dh didn't even want my kids to be
homeschooled never mind unschooled. Now he is my biggest supporter of it and
wouldn't have it any other way. It took him time toopen is mind to it and
see but he got there.
Ruth
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