unscheduled maturity and money
[email protected]
My kids have gotten allowances for a long time. Kirby has had a job since he turned 14, and at 18 stopped getting allowance. Marty has had a job for six months or so. We don't make them pay for much. They put toward the DSL line we got in December. They theoretically pay for their gasoline, but we're not really strict about it, and the van Kirby drives costs $50 a tank, which is a hardship at the $6 or so he makes an hour, and he's driving himself places I don't want to drive him (karate, college classes), so we pay for it sometimes.
Last Saturday, Kirby had gone to lunch with some female friends from out of town who were here for the day. He came back in time to go to work at 5:00. He had a shoebox; had bought himself some new shoes. I asked if he wanted to be reimbursed, and he said nah, it was fine.
We had some photos from the visit of Cameron Lovejoy last week, and I had sorted one set into the kids' piles to put in their photo albums. Both Marty's and Holly's albums were full to the end. Marty was going to WalMart to buy a jock strap and cup to wear under armor, for the event he was going to (is gone now there). Because Kirby had to work, Marty could borrow Kirby's armor (having lately turned 16, the minimum age for real combat in the SCA). So I said if he saw a photo album, buy it and I would pay him back.
He didn't like those at Walmart, so went to Target and came back with a leather-bound, sewn-binding, $20 photo album. It was the only one he liked. I offered to pay him back for that and the cup, but he said no, that the album was really for him and he would take it away, and so he should pay for it.
Neither of those incidents was requested or expected, but in one single day both boys who could have asked for and gotten money turned it down. Neither came home with so much as a candy bar or a soda or a CD (not that I mind CDs, god knows), but practical items they didn't need to spend their own money on.
Cool, huh?
Sandra
Last Saturday, Kirby had gone to lunch with some female friends from out of town who were here for the day. He came back in time to go to work at 5:00. He had a shoebox; had bought himself some new shoes. I asked if he wanted to be reimbursed, and he said nah, it was fine.
We had some photos from the visit of Cameron Lovejoy last week, and I had sorted one set into the kids' piles to put in their photo albums. Both Marty's and Holly's albums were full to the end. Marty was going to WalMart to buy a jock strap and cup to wear under armor, for the event he was going to (is gone now there). Because Kirby had to work, Marty could borrow Kirby's armor (having lately turned 16, the minimum age for real combat in the SCA). So I said if he saw a photo album, buy it and I would pay him back.
He didn't like those at Walmart, so went to Target and came back with a leather-bound, sewn-binding, $20 photo album. It was the only one he liked. I offered to pay him back for that and the cup, but he said no, that the album was really for him and he would take it away, and so he should pay for it.
Neither of those incidents was requested or expected, but in one single day both boys who could have asked for and gotten money turned it down. Neither came home with so much as a candy bar or a soda or a CD (not that I mind CDs, god knows), but practical items they didn't need to spend their own money on.
Cool, huh?
Sandra
xochitl24
I give my 3.5yo boy money when we go out shopping. He either wants
to stop at the bakery and get a kaiser roll, or stop at the turkish
store and get a potato bread or a lolly. He asks for (in our new
foreign language) and pays for the items himself.
There have been times when I literally didn't have any money to give
him and when I tell him that, he takes it in stride, doesn't complain
and understands that whenever I do have the money to give him, I do.
Jen
to stop at the bakery and get a kaiser roll, or stop at the turkish
store and get a potato bread or a lolly. He asks for (in our new
foreign language) and pays for the items himself.
There have been times when I literally didn't have any money to give
him and when I tell him that, he takes it in stride, doesn't complain
and understands that whenever I do have the money to give him, I do.
Jen
--- In [email protected], SandraDodd@a... wrote:
> Neither of those incidents was requested or expected, but in one
single day both boys who could have asked for and gotten money turned
it down. Neither came home with so much as a candy bar or a soda or
a CD (not that I mind CDs, god knows), but practical items they
didn't need to spend their own money on.
>
> Cool, huh?
>
> Sandra
julie w
>Way cool.
> Cool, huh?
>
> Sandra
Just yesterday Josh bought a present for a friends b-day party,
something I normally pay for, and turned down my offer to pay for it. It
was nice.
He has been paying for Gamfly out of his allowance for the past year or
so which saves me money in over-due fees which makes me more likely to
buy things when he does ask.
Julie
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