Re: Living Arrangments
PVestin
Hi, I usually just lurk, but this whole living arrangement discussion is a central part of our life right now. We have lived here a whole year and are know doing some major moving around. We have 4 children, with another due in May, 10yo boy, 9yo girl, 6 yo girl, 2 yo boy, and baby is a boy. My oldest daughter has wanted her own room for a long time, but the kids have always shared a room (for the past 4.5 years we have lived in two bedroom apts, so there weren't many choices.) This house technically has 5 bedrooms, however one is the entire attic, where the 3 oldest children have been sleeping, another is a room turned into the laundry room, which I love having on the level where dirty clothes collect, one bedroom is a walkthrough to the attic, and another is a wlakthrough to the "sleeping porch" which is essentially a 3 season porch. So only one room is a traditional, straight forward bedroom.
Finally my oldest daughter will get her wish and get her own room, she is taking the room that is a walk through to the attic. Our youngest daughter is taking the closet in that room, her request, so they both are happy with that. We are lofting our younger daughter's bed so she does have space for some of her things, but most of her toys will go into the basement. My oldest daughter's bed is also lofted, but we will be getting her a privacy screen, so that when people walk through to the attic she feels she has more privacy.
My oldest son didn't care where he slept, but wanted his brother and the baby to be with him (regardless of gender). The baby will be with us, but we gave him and our 2 year old the biggest room, mostly because I didn't want the 2 year old in a walk through room during naps (as if he couldn't sleep through the noise!), But I think he will do well there because that is our bedroom now, and he's used to it. My dh & I are taking the room that walks through to the porch. It is the smallest room (supposedly the maid's quarters). But we like the idea of the porch being our private sanctuary when its in season, and no fighting amongst the children as to who can go out there.
The attic, which is finished and very large, will house our 3 computers and other office supplies, a small TV for viewing, a futon couch for sitting & guests, a conference table for puzzles, a card table for games, and few quiet toys, ie. legos. Oh and tons & tons of books. The walls of the stairs going up to the attic and the walls of the attic are lined with shelves for books, games and puzzles. This will be the guest room and quieter actcivity room. I can't wait for it to be done! It will be great to have enough room for puzzles and to not have to clear the dining room table to have dinner when we are in the middle of a game.
The living room is sparse, it is not very large, and we don't have much furniture. Ideally when we are done moving stuff around it will not be used for much more than reading and there won't be much to clean. Its where the front door is, and if that room is clean I won't stress much about the state of the rest of the house, unexpected guests can stop by and I really won't care. The house is full of doors so the kitchen can be closed off.
Our basement is a child's paradise. If they pick up enough to see the floor we have one large concrete floored rrom perfect for rollerblading, car racing (slot or RC), there is another room dedicated to art, and another where they can set up castle & military guys, without worry of little hands destroying things. There is an alcove under the stairs for barbies, and small household setup for baby dolls. We also have a futon couch & TV in the "finished" room in the basement for video games. The basement is the place for loud and active indoor play. We also have 2 rooms in the basement with dirt floors, one is the workroom, another is the wood storing & paintball room. When a parent is able the kids get to go into the paintball room & shoot their pump style paintball airgun.
We have decent city lot yard, but I dream of having land some day. We have decided to build our 2 dogs a run in the yard so that MAYBE we can get some grass to grow on some of the yard so the kids aren't always playing in mud. :). We also have chickens, which are fascinating animals.
I understand about lack of cultural stuff. There is also a lack of nature stuff around here. We are in a small Wisconsin "city". Its smack dab in middle of farm country. About 2 to 2.5 hours away each from Milwaukee & Chicago. I grew up in the St Paul/Minneapolis area and I never realized what a place I lived in. Within town we can walk almost anywhere, and I absolutely love that. Because of traffic control issues, my kids can't walk many places alone yet, but as a family we can.
I also agree though that our standard of living has gone up. We can afford to live here, we can afford to do things (unfortunately there isn'y a whole lot to do :). We most recently lived in Massachusetts, an hour outside Boston. Talk about culture & history!! Even Nature was abundant (you wouldn't think so). And while we did the Freedom Trail, and Plymouth Rock, and the ocean, we weren't able to do many things because we couldn't afford it. I honestly don't know how people making minimum wage or even $5 over min wage made it. We lived frugally and every month it was how much further behind are we.
Our parents want us to move back to the Twin Cities, IF my husband could get a job there we aren't sure if we want to. There, just like so many other places, it costs too much. We could not afford to buy the house we sold 5 years ago, and our income has doubled since then (and that was with husband working 1 full-time & 2 part-time jobs, and me working 1 part-time job).
And as someone else mentioned, parents. Its been very freeing for us to not live under the constant scrutiny of parents. And yet now we are close enough that my kids can still see them once every month or 2 (they will be there for a whole week in a week), they also aren't trying to run our lives.
Well I guess I rambled. I am very glad for this list. It is nice to read about other people allowing children to learn, pursuing their own interests, and following their hearts, without having an agenda of what they should be learning today because it says so in this book. It sometimes gets old when people ask what curriculum we use, I respond "life", and they give me the odd look. Just good to know that I'm not the only one!
Thanks!
Paula in WI
I do have to do something about the bedroom situation. 3 kids, who
each want their own bedroom, and only 3 bedrooms. We've got a
master bedroom, and right now my youngest still sleeps with us, with
his toddler bed right beside ours. My daughter has her own room.
There's a laundry room that could be made into a bedroom beside her
bedroom, but she has to walk through that room to get to her bedroom
so that wouldn't work with either of the boys. Nor is she willing to
leave her room so that the boys can have their own rooms. She's
attached to her room and doesn't like change. My son has the other
bedroom. There are also 2 small rooms in the attic which we could
fix up and make cute little bedrooms, but you'd have to walk through
my son's room to get to the attic rooms and he doesn't want anyone
walking through his room. Nor does he want to switch bedrooms. He's
pretty attached to his bedroom. So we have to come up with something
fairly soon so that my youngest son can have his own bedroom, and the
house would be big enough to do it if it weren't set up so funny
upstairs.
Other than the bedroom setup, my only other complaint about where we
live is the area in general. There aren't very many things to do
around here. There are things within an hour drive, and even more
within a 2 hour drive. But within half an hour...well...there's wal-
mart. A few fast food restaurants. A few town playgrounds. A few
different libraries. There's a mall 20 minutes from my house. A
college 45 minutes from my house, and once in awhile there will be
some things going on in that town. Ummm...not much else.
But Harrisburg is an hour from here, Baltimore is 2- 2 1/2 hours, New
York city is 3 hours. A little over an hour to the Poconos. So we
can do day trips...when I can talk my kids into doing it, which isn't
often.
The up side of the lack of cultural opportunities is that the cost of
living is pretty low in a depressed area. We wouldn't have been able
to afford our house if we lived somewhere else. We can live on one
income fairly comfortably here, and I think if we moved that would be
more difficult. I've had conversations with people from other areas
about the cost of living in different areas of the county and I'm
always majorly surprised at how much stuff costs other places.
Sheila
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Finally my oldest daughter will get her wish and get her own room, she is taking the room that is a walk through to the attic. Our youngest daughter is taking the closet in that room, her request, so they both are happy with that. We are lofting our younger daughter's bed so she does have space for some of her things, but most of her toys will go into the basement. My oldest daughter's bed is also lofted, but we will be getting her a privacy screen, so that when people walk through to the attic she feels she has more privacy.
My oldest son didn't care where he slept, but wanted his brother and the baby to be with him (regardless of gender). The baby will be with us, but we gave him and our 2 year old the biggest room, mostly because I didn't want the 2 year old in a walk through room during naps (as if he couldn't sleep through the noise!), But I think he will do well there because that is our bedroom now, and he's used to it. My dh & I are taking the room that walks through to the porch. It is the smallest room (supposedly the maid's quarters). But we like the idea of the porch being our private sanctuary when its in season, and no fighting amongst the children as to who can go out there.
The attic, which is finished and very large, will house our 3 computers and other office supplies, a small TV for viewing, a futon couch for sitting & guests, a conference table for puzzles, a card table for games, and few quiet toys, ie. legos. Oh and tons & tons of books. The walls of the stairs going up to the attic and the walls of the attic are lined with shelves for books, games and puzzles. This will be the guest room and quieter actcivity room. I can't wait for it to be done! It will be great to have enough room for puzzles and to not have to clear the dining room table to have dinner when we are in the middle of a game.
The living room is sparse, it is not very large, and we don't have much furniture. Ideally when we are done moving stuff around it will not be used for much more than reading and there won't be much to clean. Its where the front door is, and if that room is clean I won't stress much about the state of the rest of the house, unexpected guests can stop by and I really won't care. The house is full of doors so the kitchen can be closed off.
Our basement is a child's paradise. If they pick up enough to see the floor we have one large concrete floored rrom perfect for rollerblading, car racing (slot or RC), there is another room dedicated to art, and another where they can set up castle & military guys, without worry of little hands destroying things. There is an alcove under the stairs for barbies, and small household setup for baby dolls. We also have a futon couch & TV in the "finished" room in the basement for video games. The basement is the place for loud and active indoor play. We also have 2 rooms in the basement with dirt floors, one is the workroom, another is the wood storing & paintball room. When a parent is able the kids get to go into the paintball room & shoot their pump style paintball airgun.
We have decent city lot yard, but I dream of having land some day. We have decided to build our 2 dogs a run in the yard so that MAYBE we can get some grass to grow on some of the yard so the kids aren't always playing in mud. :). We also have chickens, which are fascinating animals.
I understand about lack of cultural stuff. There is also a lack of nature stuff around here. We are in a small Wisconsin "city". Its smack dab in middle of farm country. About 2 to 2.5 hours away each from Milwaukee & Chicago. I grew up in the St Paul/Minneapolis area and I never realized what a place I lived in. Within town we can walk almost anywhere, and I absolutely love that. Because of traffic control issues, my kids can't walk many places alone yet, but as a family we can.
I also agree though that our standard of living has gone up. We can afford to live here, we can afford to do things (unfortunately there isn'y a whole lot to do :). We most recently lived in Massachusetts, an hour outside Boston. Talk about culture & history!! Even Nature was abundant (you wouldn't think so). And while we did the Freedom Trail, and Plymouth Rock, and the ocean, we weren't able to do many things because we couldn't afford it. I honestly don't know how people making minimum wage or even $5 over min wage made it. We lived frugally and every month it was how much further behind are we.
Our parents want us to move back to the Twin Cities, IF my husband could get a job there we aren't sure if we want to. There, just like so many other places, it costs too much. We could not afford to buy the house we sold 5 years ago, and our income has doubled since then (and that was with husband working 1 full-time & 2 part-time jobs, and me working 1 part-time job).
And as someone else mentioned, parents. Its been very freeing for us to not live under the constant scrutiny of parents. And yet now we are close enough that my kids can still see them once every month or 2 (they will be there for a whole week in a week), they also aren't trying to run our lives.
Well I guess I rambled. I am very glad for this list. It is nice to read about other people allowing children to learn, pursuing their own interests, and following their hearts, without having an agenda of what they should be learning today because it says so in this book. It sometimes gets old when people ask what curriculum we use, I respond "life", and they give me the odd look. Just good to know that I'm not the only one!
Thanks!
Paula in WI
I do have to do something about the bedroom situation. 3 kids, who
each want their own bedroom, and only 3 bedrooms. We've got a
master bedroom, and right now my youngest still sleeps with us, with
his toddler bed right beside ours. My daughter has her own room.
There's a laundry room that could be made into a bedroom beside her
bedroom, but she has to walk through that room to get to her bedroom
so that wouldn't work with either of the boys. Nor is she willing to
leave her room so that the boys can have their own rooms. She's
attached to her room and doesn't like change. My son has the other
bedroom. There are also 2 small rooms in the attic which we could
fix up and make cute little bedrooms, but you'd have to walk through
my son's room to get to the attic rooms and he doesn't want anyone
walking through his room. Nor does he want to switch bedrooms. He's
pretty attached to his bedroom. So we have to come up with something
fairly soon so that my youngest son can have his own bedroom, and the
house would be big enough to do it if it weren't set up so funny
upstairs.
Other than the bedroom setup, my only other complaint about where we
live is the area in general. There aren't very many things to do
around here. There are things within an hour drive, and even more
within a 2 hour drive. But within half an hour...well...there's wal-
mart. A few fast food restaurants. A few town playgrounds. A few
different libraries. There's a mall 20 minutes from my house. A
college 45 minutes from my house, and once in awhile there will be
some things going on in that town. Ummm...not much else.
But Harrisburg is an hour from here, Baltimore is 2- 2 1/2 hours, New
York city is 3 hours. A little over an hour to the Poconos. So we
can do day trips...when I can talk my kids into doing it, which isn't
often.
The up side of the lack of cultural opportunities is that the cost of
living is pretty low in a depressed area. We wouldn't have been able
to afford our house if we lived somewhere else. We can live on one
income fairly comfortably here, and I think if we moved that would be
more difficult. I've had conversations with people from other areas
about the cost of living in different areas of the county and I'm
always majorly surprised at how much stuff costs other places.
Sheila
---------------------------------
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Take Yahoo! Mail with you! Get it on your mobile phone.
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
mamaaj2000
I'm really enjoying all the responses! Definitely challenging some of
the assumptions I've had about what I was planning on doing for my
family...
--- In [email protected], PVestin <pvestin@y...>
wrote:
this a desire to sleep alone, play alone during the day, both, or
does it vary by child? I'd been assuming (gotta stop that) that no
one would mind sleeping in the same room as someone else as long as
they had enough space during the day.
thanks,
aj
the assumptions I've had about what I was planning on doing for my
family...
--- In [email protected], PVestin <pvestin@y...>
wrote:
> Finally my oldest daughter will get her wish and get her own room,A number of people have mentioned kids wanting their own bedrooms. Is
this a desire to sleep alone, play alone during the day, both, or
does it vary by child? I'd been assuming (gotta stop that) that no
one would mind sleeping in the same room as someone else as long as
they had enough space during the day.
thanks,
aj
nellebelle
We have three bedrooms and two children. Each girl has her own bedroom, but they choose to sleep together. They enjoy having their own room for private space and to arrange as they like.
Lisa talks about beginning to sleep alone in her own room, but hasn't done so yet.
Mary Ellen
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Lisa talks about beginning to sleep alone in her own room, but hasn't done so yet.
Mary Ellen
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
kayb85
> A number of people have mentioned kids wanting their own bedrooms.Is
> this a desire to sleep alone, play alone during the day, both, orFor my kids, I think it's mostly a desire to have a room that is
> does it vary by child? I'd been assuming (gotta stop that) that no
> one would mind sleeping in the same room as someone else as long as
> they had enough space during the day.
filled with only their stuff that their brothers and sister can't go
into and use. That's where dd puts her rather large stuffed
animal/beanie babie collection, her American girl dolls and her bratz
and her yugioh cards and her books and her jewelry and her clothes,
and she's chosen the color of the walls and the ceiling and the rug,
and all the posters and pictures on the wall are *hers*. It's where
my son has his own personal Harry Potter lego collection and his
basket of "treasures" and where he can put his own blankets and
favorite stuffed animal and no one can go in and use any of that
stuff without his permission.
Sheila
Paula
I'm not sure what the desire for their own bedroom is based on to be
honest. I think, they think, their own bedroom will keep their
siblings out of their stuff, and with 4 kids I can appreciate that
sentiment. I really forsee them all going into one bed. Even as it
was with 3 beds in one room, as often as not they would all gather
their blankets and sleep together on the floor, or all 3 would just
crawl into one of their beds. Sadly, I don't think the bedroom will
have the desired effect. The 6yo doesn't yet have the self-control to
leave alone her older siblings "cooler" stuff alone, and the 2 year
old doesn't care. :)
Paula in WI
honest. I think, they think, their own bedroom will keep their
siblings out of their stuff, and with 4 kids I can appreciate that
sentiment. I really forsee them all going into one bed. Even as it
was with 3 beds in one room, as often as not they would all gather
their blankets and sleep together on the floor, or all 3 would just
crawl into one of their beds. Sadly, I don't think the bedroom will
have the desired effect. The 6yo doesn't yet have the self-control to
leave alone her older siblings "cooler" stuff alone, and the 2 year
old doesn't care. :)
Paula in WI
> --- In [email protected], PVestin<pvestin@y...>
> wrote:Is
> > Finally my oldest daughter will get her wish and get her own room,
>
> A number of people have mentioned kids wanting their own bedrooms.
> this a desire to sleep alone, play alone during the day, both, or
> does it vary by child? I'd been assuming (gotta stop that) that no
> one would mind sleeping in the same room as someone else as long as
> they had enough space during the day.
>
> thanks,
> aj
[email protected]
**Sadly, I don't think the bedroom will have the desired effect. The 6yo
doesn't yet have the self-control to leave alone her older siblings "cooler" stuff
alone, and the 2 year old doesn't care. :)**
Lockers? Desks with lockable drawers? Trunks with locks? Treasure boxes?
I was going to suggest high shelves, but then I remembered finding an 18mo up
on top of the refrigerator one day. :)
Deborah in IL
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
doesn't yet have the self-control to leave alone her older siblings "cooler" stuff
alone, and the 2 year old doesn't care. :)**
Lockers? Desks with lockable drawers? Trunks with locks? Treasure boxes?
I was going to suggest high shelves, but then I remembered finding an 18mo up
on top of the refrigerator one day. :)
Deborah in IL
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]