Thoughts/perspectives on wanting more gifts
Betsy and Chris
My son is currently very interested in gifts and presents. He turned 3 on Dec. 19, and received a number of presents around his birthday. Christmas, of course, occurred right after and he received a number of presents on Christmas Day (at my father's house, out of town), and had more presents waiting for him when we got home. It was a TON of fun for him!
So I can understand completely that he wants the presents (and anticipation and fun) to keep coming. We have re-wrapped and unwrapped his toys multiple times over (thank you to this list for helping me see using wrapping paper, tape, and bows as craft supplies--not waste!)--and that has been really satisfying for him. We have also been buying Hot Wheels for his collection and he loves receiving those. I offer him pieces of the mail when it comes and he really enjoys opening that, too.
Are there other things that people have done in this vein? Books about parties and gifts? Staging parties for him and some of his stuffed toys? I'm not sure where else to go with this besides buying him something new every day.
Also, just finished Sandra's article on "Spoiled" kids and a couple of things jumped out at me:
"She just doesn't NEED anything, because she gets lots of things when she wants them, and so she doesn't have that desperation to acquire."
and
"When a child is needy, he's rarely needy of things. He wants proof of regard and affection but he might not know that. If his life needs to be made better, he'll try whatever he can (until he gives up trusting and trying)."
I'm now wondering if it is the presents he's needing or something else. I want to be able to fulfill his desire to have packages waiting for him (something he has said he wants), but I don't want to be missing something else--something bigger that I can help provide that's not contingent on the "stuff" part of it. Does this make sense?
Any advice or ideas are most appreciated!
Thanks so much,
Betsy S.
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
So I can understand completely that he wants the presents (and anticipation and fun) to keep coming. We have re-wrapped and unwrapped his toys multiple times over (thank you to this list for helping me see using wrapping paper, tape, and bows as craft supplies--not waste!)--and that has been really satisfying for him. We have also been buying Hot Wheels for his collection and he loves receiving those. I offer him pieces of the mail when it comes and he really enjoys opening that, too.
Are there other things that people have done in this vein? Books about parties and gifts? Staging parties for him and some of his stuffed toys? I'm not sure where else to go with this besides buying him something new every day.
Also, just finished Sandra's article on "Spoiled" kids and a couple of things jumped out at me:
"She just doesn't NEED anything, because she gets lots of things when she wants them, and so she doesn't have that desperation to acquire."
and
"When a child is needy, he's rarely needy of things. He wants proof of regard and affection but he might not know that. If his life needs to be made better, he'll try whatever he can (until he gives up trusting and trying)."
I'm now wondering if it is the presents he's needing or something else. I want to be able to fulfill his desire to have packages waiting for him (something he has said he wants), but I don't want to be missing something else--something bigger that I can help provide that's not contingent on the "stuff" part of it. Does this make sense?
Any advice or ideas are most appreciated!
Thanks so much,
Betsy S.
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
[email protected]
-=-I'm now wondering if it is the presents he's needing or something else.
I want to be able to fulfill his desire to have packages waiting for him
(something he has said he wants), but I don't want to be missing something
else--something bigger that I can help provide that's not contingent on the "stuff"
part of it. Does this make sense?-=-
Can you gift wrap regular everyday things, and maybe get him to help you?
Extra toilet paper rolls (they're already sometimes wrapped in tissue).
Maybe at the library you could find book about how to gift-wrap. In Japan,
their gift-wrapping traditions are unlike ours, and they're really
interesting.
Maybe collect wrapping paper samples.
Maybe visit the giftwrapping station at a giftshop so he can see the huge
rolls of paper and the cutter.
Maybe when the groceries come in from the store you could wrap things like
his toothpaste, or boxes of cereal . He could put what it is on the tag, if
it's something that might not be recognizeable with the wrapping on.
You could gift wrap him, in toilet paper.
It's kinda crazy but probably won't last too long.
The day before Marty's birthday (day before yesterday) he came and said he
still hadn't thought of anything he wanted for his birthday, because... and he
paused shrugged. I said "Because you already have everything you want? He
said yeah, and that he couldn't think of anything cool to do because he does
cool stuff all the time.
Kirby had planned a little get-together for him for that evening and that
went well. About a dozen of their friends were able to come over on short
notice. It wasn't a gift thing, it was a games and goofing around evening.
We had gotten him a map, a poster, postcards and a video from Calico, a
ghost-town (with shops <g>) we went to in California last month. Some of this
cowboy role-playing partners were there, and saw the value in this stuff
immediately. <g>
If you indulge them when they want something, I don't think they'll continue
to want it forever. I think they'll have fun, their fascination will be
satisfied, and they'll go on to other things.
Sandra
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
I want to be able to fulfill his desire to have packages waiting for him
(something he has said he wants), but I don't want to be missing something
else--something bigger that I can help provide that's not contingent on the "stuff"
part of it. Does this make sense?-=-
Can you gift wrap regular everyday things, and maybe get him to help you?
Extra toilet paper rolls (they're already sometimes wrapped in tissue).
Maybe at the library you could find book about how to gift-wrap. In Japan,
their gift-wrapping traditions are unlike ours, and they're really
interesting.
Maybe collect wrapping paper samples.
Maybe visit the giftwrapping station at a giftshop so he can see the huge
rolls of paper and the cutter.
Maybe when the groceries come in from the store you could wrap things like
his toothpaste, or boxes of cereal . He could put what it is on the tag, if
it's something that might not be recognizeable with the wrapping on.
You could gift wrap him, in toilet paper.
It's kinda crazy but probably won't last too long.
The day before Marty's birthday (day before yesterday) he came and said he
still hadn't thought of anything he wanted for his birthday, because... and he
paused shrugged. I said "Because you already have everything you want? He
said yeah, and that he couldn't think of anything cool to do because he does
cool stuff all the time.
Kirby had planned a little get-together for him for that evening and that
went well. About a dozen of their friends were able to come over on short
notice. It wasn't a gift thing, it was a games and goofing around evening.
We had gotten him a map, a poster, postcards and a video from Calico, a
ghost-town (with shops <g>) we went to in California last month. Some of this
cowboy role-playing partners were there, and saw the value in this stuff
immediately. <g>
If you indulge them when they want something, I don't think they'll continue
to want it forever. I think they'll have fun, their fascination will be
satisfied, and they'll go on to other things.
Sandra
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
[email protected]
In a message dated 1/15/2005 10:45:56 P.M. Eastern Standard Time,
canderson51@... writes:
Are there other things that people have done in this vein? Books about
parties and gifts? Staging parties for him and some of his stuffed toys? I'm
not sure where else to go with this besides buying him something new every
day.<<<<<
Every day is *some* holiday *somewhere*. Play it up! National Elephant
Appreciation Day (Sept 22)----we tell elephant jokes and eat roasted peanuts.
National Sandwich Day (Nov 3)----submarine sandwiches. National Pie Day (Jan 23).
Next week is National Hugging Week! And last week was National We'll Laugh
About This Someday Week!<g> January 26 is National Backwards Day. The 28th is
National Kazoo Day!
Chinese New Year. Dr Suess' Birthday (Mar 2). Paul Revere's Midnight Ride
(April 18).
We celebrate a tons of things that are relatively weird! <g>
Some come with cakes. Some days ---like National Librarian Day, we'll take a
plate of cookies or a pound cake to our library to celebrate *them*.
I LOVE *any* reason for a party! <g> Or any kind of celebrations---no matter
how small.
Maybe look up some of the "holidays" coming up and celebrate *them* in your
own goofy way.
~Kelly
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
canderson51@... writes:
Are there other things that people have done in this vein? Books about
parties and gifts? Staging parties for him and some of his stuffed toys? I'm
not sure where else to go with this besides buying him something new every
day.<<<<<
Every day is *some* holiday *somewhere*. Play it up! National Elephant
Appreciation Day (Sept 22)----we tell elephant jokes and eat roasted peanuts.
National Sandwich Day (Nov 3)----submarine sandwiches. National Pie Day (Jan 23).
Next week is National Hugging Week! And last week was National We'll Laugh
About This Someday Week!<g> January 26 is National Backwards Day. The 28th is
National Kazoo Day!
Chinese New Year. Dr Suess' Birthday (Mar 2). Paul Revere's Midnight Ride
(April 18).
We celebrate a tons of things that are relatively weird! <g>
Some come with cakes. Some days ---like National Librarian Day, we'll take a
plate of cookies or a pound cake to our library to celebrate *them*.
I LOVE *any* reason for a party! <g> Or any kind of celebrations---no matter
how small.
Maybe look up some of the "holidays" coming up and celebrate *them* in your
own goofy way.
~Kelly
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
pam sorooshian
On Jan 15, 2005, at 7:37 PM, Betsy and Chris wrote:
dollars and let him buy little things at the dollar store.
-pam
> Are there other things that people have done in this vein? BooksLet him wrap up little presents for other people. Give him a few
> about parties and gifts? Staging parties for him and some of his
> stuffed toys? I'm not sure where else to go with this besides buying
> him something new every day.
dollars and let him buy little things at the dollar store.
-pam
Angela S
My kids loved to play like that and still do sometimes. They'd give their
stuffed animals birthday parties and wrap all sorts of things to give them.
Sometimes they used all the dishtowels and face clothes in the house to wrap
things and sometimes they used paper, napkins, or toilet paper. Maybe he'd
like to do the same thing with his stuffed animals. My kids also wrapped up
gifts for each other to open. (not keep) It might just be that he likes to
open gifts. Maybe you could keep wrapping up things in the house for him
and let him try to guess what it is before he opens it.
Angela
game-enthusiast@...
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
stuffed animals birthday parties and wrap all sorts of things to give them.
Sometimes they used all the dishtowels and face clothes in the house to wrap
things and sometimes they used paper, napkins, or toilet paper. Maybe he'd
like to do the same thing with his stuffed animals. My kids also wrapped up
gifts for each other to open. (not keep) It might just be that he likes to
open gifts. Maybe you could keep wrapping up things in the house for him
and let him try to guess what it is before he opens it.
Angela
game-enthusiast@...
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Jenny Altenbach
SandraDodd@... wrote:
making "crackers", which are little packages with small trinkets inside
them that you break open and they go "POP!" It looked like lots of
fun--easy to make, fun to open. Try a google search for instructions.
Jenny
>Recently on an episode of Teletubbies they showed some kids in India
>
> Maybe at the library you could find book about how to gift-wrap. In
> Japan,
> their gift-wrapping traditions are unlike ours, and they're really
> interesting.
making "crackers", which are little packages with small trinkets inside
them that you break open and they go "POP!" It looked like lots of
fun--easy to make, fun to open. Try a google search for instructions.
Jenny
>
Betsy and Chris
Thank you all so much for the great ideas and the confidence to follow my gut on this one!
<<<If you indulge them when they want something, I don't think they'll continue
to want it forever. I think they'll have fun, their fascination will be
satisfied, and they'll go on to other things.>>>
I love this advice. I'm hearing this sort of thing more often and louder than that old voice that says, "You (they, him, her) have had ENOUGH! Now be grateful for what you DID get."
<<<Maybe look up some of the "holidays" coming up and celebrate *them* in your
own goofy way. >>>
We certainly will! What fun--thanks.
<<<Recently on an episode of Teletubbies they showed some kids in India
making "crackers", which are little packages with small trinkets inside
them that you break open and they go "POP!" It looked like lots of
fun--easy to make, fun to open. Try a google search for instructions.>>>
Bless you, Jenny! I didn't need to do a google search because I had these things RIGHT HERE--in the house!! My dad gave me a whole bunch of them for Christmas ("for dinner parties"--Bwah ha ha ha--like I have those!!). So RIGHT after I read your message I put some in a gift bag and left them outside the front door. I went in where he and my husband were playing and said I'd heard something out front and maybe Sam should check for packages. He was thrilled!! And we all spent an hour opening them and playing with them and speculating about who could've left them--in a really fun, light way! What a great hour for a gift I originally received and thought, "Wow. This is kinda sucky."
Sam and my husband are at the grocery store right now (and stopping at the Party Store next door for a $3 bag of dinosaurs, too), so I put the rest of the crackers in his Christmas stocking and hung it on the front door for him to find when he comes back. What fun!
Thanks again for all your great ideas--we will certainly give them a try.
Thanks also for this list and the life-altering, life-improving stuff it is chock full of!
Betsy S.
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
<<<If you indulge them when they want something, I don't think they'll continue
to want it forever. I think they'll have fun, their fascination will be
satisfied, and they'll go on to other things.>>>
I love this advice. I'm hearing this sort of thing more often and louder than that old voice that says, "You (they, him, her) have had ENOUGH! Now be grateful for what you DID get."
<<<Maybe look up some of the "holidays" coming up and celebrate *them* in your
own goofy way. >>>
We certainly will! What fun--thanks.
<<<Recently on an episode of Teletubbies they showed some kids in India
making "crackers", which are little packages with small trinkets inside
them that you break open and they go "POP!" It looked like lots of
fun--easy to make, fun to open. Try a google search for instructions.>>>
Bless you, Jenny! I didn't need to do a google search because I had these things RIGHT HERE--in the house!! My dad gave me a whole bunch of them for Christmas ("for dinner parties"--Bwah ha ha ha--like I have those!!). So RIGHT after I read your message I put some in a gift bag and left them outside the front door. I went in where he and my husband were playing and said I'd heard something out front and maybe Sam should check for packages. He was thrilled!! And we all spent an hour opening them and playing with them and speculating about who could've left them--in a really fun, light way! What a great hour for a gift I originally received and thought, "Wow. This is kinda sucky."
Sam and my husband are at the grocery store right now (and stopping at the Party Store next door for a $3 bag of dinosaurs, too), so I put the rest of the crackers in his Christmas stocking and hung it on the front door for him to find when he comes back. What fun!
Thanks again for all your great ideas--we will certainly give them a try.
Thanks also for this list and the life-altering, life-improving stuff it is chock full of!
Betsy S.
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
[email protected]
In a message dated 1/17/05 5:20:31 PM, canderson51@... writes:
<< I'm hearing this sort of thing more often and louder than that old voice
that says, "You (they, him, her) have had ENOUGH! Now be grateful for what you
DID get." >>
Good. The Great Depression is over.
If another one comes along we'll deal with it.
Sandra
<< I'm hearing this sort of thing more often and louder than that old voice
that says, "You (they, him, her) have had ENOUGH! Now be grateful for what you
DID get." >>
Good. The Great Depression is over.
If another one comes along we'll deal with it.
Sandra
kayb85
> Are there other things that people have done in this vein? Booksabout parties and gifts? Staging parties for him and some of his
stuffed toys? I'm not sure where else to go with this besides buying
him something new every day.
We went through a period when all my kids wanted to have birthday
parties for their stuffed animals. We went all out. We made them
birthday cakes, made decorations and birthday cards, played pin the
tail on the donkey, made party hats for the animals, and had
pinatas. Maybe your son would like pinatas. You can make your own
pinata for very cheap with paper mache, and a 3 year old might like
that activity.
Sheila