Ann Bagala

Amen, Billy!!!

Ann Bagala
 
  

Billy wrote:
Okay, I told myself I was going to stay out of this one, but . . .

I have to agree with someone else who made a comment about some of the
attitudes seeming inappropriate for an "unschooling" list. I thought
unschoolers disliked the artificial environment of schoolish learning where
it is important to learn a bunch of facts because they will be on a test and
if you don't learn them you will have the very artificial consequence of
performing poorly on the test.

Does anyone else see the similarity between saying that bad actions have bad
consequences and I will teach you that by imposing the artificial
consequence of spanking you when you do what I consider to be a bad action?

That attitude in school teaches many unintended lessons. Learning isn't
important, getting a good grade on the test is. Knowing about a subject
isn't as important as knowing what your teacher thinks is important. Since
it is important to get good grades, cheating may become an acceptable
option. Cheating is only possible for getting grades, not for learning.
Notice that if learning is important, there is also no reason to cheat.

Spanking also teaches many unintended lessons. The biggest person gets to
make the rules. It is okay to hurt someone if you don't like what they are
doing. Might makes right. Don't get caught. Lying may become an acceptable
option if you are trying to avoid physical punishment.

There are lots of studies to show that positive reinforcement is much more
effective than negative reinforcement. Spanking is never necessary to teach
or correct. There are lots of options and the best one is to avoid the
problem to begin with. The best dog trainers will tell you that instead of
swatting a dog on the nose with a newspaper because he had an accident in
the house, you should take him outside after every meal and at regular
intervals between meals so he doesn't have the chance of having an accident
in the house.

Frankly, I have always been horrified by the thought of a parent who can
"calmly, and lovingly" spank their child. I have more sympathy with a parent
who momentarily "loses" it but can later apologize and admit that they acted
in anger.

Okay, where did I put my flame-proof suit. There it is. Give me a second to
get it zipped. I'm now ready to push the send button and stand back from the
flames.