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In a message dated 12/29/2004 9:54:55 A.M. Eastern Standard Time,
unschooler@... writes:

So how will it be when they're visiting their dad and their
mother's not
> around at all?

Speaking as a "child" of divorce, this is definitely something to
consider, however, there is the mental health of the mother to
consider also. If she is better off because she doesn't have the
abuse on a daily basis, she'll be much more able to meet her
children's emotional needs when they're not with their dad.




It's also quite possible that they won't be visiting dad until he is much
better equipped to father them.

Maybe a loss of everything he's known to be his life will spur him to make
changes for the better, so that he can be a joyful participant in their lives
at some point.

glena


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Sylvia Toyama

It's also quite possible that they won't be visiting dad until he is much better equipped to father them.

*****

don't count on that -- I've been amazed at how often judges will order visitation -- unsupervised yet -- for men who are clearly a danger to their children's well-being. In my single Mom days, my ex asking for and getting visitation was one of my greatest concerns -- enough to make me move 2,000 miles away to apply for custody.

Sylvia


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