[email protected]

Yahoogroups disgorged a big pile of mail to me at once, and this one it seems
was missed by everyone. Can we go back to this one, please? (Maybe others
missed getting it in order and when it was new too.)

In a message dated 12/24/04 2:33:51 PM, mfhickman@... writes:

<< Hello wise peolpe,

I have a unique situation I need some help thinking throrgh before I act. My
son, 7 got in a fight during a parkday. Specifics are he wanted to check out
a toy, the boy who brought the sword would not share. When the sword was down
on the ground my son picked it up to check it out. Owner ran after him, grab
tackled him, my son reacted by fighting and kicked him hard. I was the parent
who sprinted to stop this, out in the field. It lasted all of 15 seconds. The
boys split, the one who owned the sword was hurt from my son. My son needed
away time for cool down so I left him alone. During the next 5 minutes I chatted
with the mom and the boy, making sure he was ok. He was a bit hysterical
about other things talking about trying to do what his counslers say to do
etc.They left without waiting for my kid to come over, so the boys did not get a
chance to talk through what happened. Well, the mom called the police who showed
up at my door a few days later. She did not try to contact me after the
incident. She told the police I was overprotective of my son and she wanted it
documented that he battered her child.

What do you all think I should do? My son and I have talked about the group,
he actually doesn't like the kids there that much so one option is to just
drop hanging out with them. The group is active, I like the families and have
been attending for several years. This mom is relatively new, she often has
personal toys with her that her child does not share and which causes similar
conflicts. Part of me wants to open this up to the other 50 members for discussion,
but I hesitate to. My husband is a bit freaked out because the officer said
the family could press civil charges against us for this.

Mary

[email protected]

In a message dated 12/27/2004 6:24:16 AM Central Standard Time,
SandraDodd@... writes:

My husband is a bit freaked out because the officer said
the family could press civil charges against us for this.




~~~

They *could* press any kind of charges they want. I don't think it would
get very far. It's a "school yard" fight amongst 7 year olds. Your child was
tackled and could have been hurt as well. It doesn't appear to me that any
bullying was going on.

What did the police say about the incident?

Did the other child suffer a broken limb or anything like that? How bad was
he hurt?

I'd like to know more about that before I say anything else. About the
support group, though...we've had a similar thing happen in a group. It was a
much younger kid whacking a much bigger kid with a limb. It was a particularly
aggressive little boy, and others were often complaining about how he
behaved with his weapons. It became a serious issue after this incident.

His mother was finally shocked into seeing what others had been saying, and
she took decisive action. I think the outcome was good, but this particular
mother was interested in making things better. Sometimes mothers are
irrational and can't see beyond their own child's injury, no matter how slight.

I think it was useful for our group to deal with the issue as a whole. We
didn't have a meeting or anything, but we had lots of phone calls. It was a
topic of conversation. There has to be someone there who can strongly
advocate for the peace, and for the cohesion of the group, too. Not everyone is
going to be completely happy with how it shakes out, but that's life. Julie
will probably have something to say about that incident, and what's happened
since.

The important thing, I think, is that if someone has a problem that makes
their experience unpleasant, and they desire to continue getting the other
benefits of the group, that it should be addressed in some way. Go to the most
active and forceful leader or facilitator of the group and tell her what has
happened. Tell her what you've told us. Ask her advice and if she doesn't
think it's big enough to talk about, go to the next one. Of course, this
depends on how much you want to fight for the group. I wouldn't be secretive
about it. I would talk to the other mother directly about it, too. Apologize
for the kicking, without pointing a finger. Give her an opportunity to take
responsibility for what her son did, as well. I look forward to hearing more
about the police.

Karen




[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

queenjane555

>Specifics are he wanted to check out a toy, the boy who brought the
>sword would not share. When the sword was down on the ground my
>son picked it up to check it out. Owner ran after him, grab
> tackled him, my son reacted by fighting and kicked him hard.

I hope his mom talked to him about that beforehand, and told him
that can invite all sorts of hard feelings about "not sharing", and
that perhaps he should choose a toy to bring that he would be
willing to share. Judging from the boy's reaction, she probably
didnt have that conversation with him, unfortunately. Do other kids
bring toys they don't share or is it mostly this kid?

I dont have a whole lot of support group experience, but i would
think that it might be good to bring up the subject of toys, and how
to avoid this in the future. The one group that i've occasionally
attended is held in a library, kids bring toys to play with, and it
would be a little strange to not share them (the whole point is to
share them, to play with the other kids.) It seems reasonable to me,
that if a child brings a toy, sets it down and is done with it, the
child who picks it up shouldnt be tackled to the ground.

>Well, the mom called the police who showed up at my door a few
>days later. She did not try to contact me after the
> incident. She told the police I was overprotective of my son and
>she wanted it documented that he battered her child.

I'm a very nonconfrontational person, but this would really piss me
off. I would call her. I think its terrible that she called the
police instead of talking to you about it.

Once, when my son was probably 4 or 5 yrs old, we were at McDonald's
playplace, and he was twirling around with a small plastic toy in
his hand. A little toddler wandered by and he accidentally smacked
the kid in the face really hard, and the little boy was hysterical.
I tried to apologize to the parents and they looked at us like we
were evil, like my son was out of control or did it on purpose. It
was really uncomfortable. I thought they would say something
like "Its ok, we know it was an accident" but they didnt.


>
> What do you all think I should do? My son and I have talked about
>the group, he actually doesn't like the kids there that much so
>one option is to just drop hanging out with them.

If your son doesnt *want* to hang out with them, independant of this
situation, then i wouldnt make him go. But i wouldnt want to drop
out just because of this situation, because i dont think your son
was the one who was wrong here.


>Part of me wants to open this up to the other 50 members for
>discussion, but I hesitate to. My husband is a bit freaked out
>because the officer said the family could press civil charges
>against us for this.

I would ask the other members of the group about it, about how
personal toys can cause these sorts of problems. I would do it
openly, so it doesnt look like you are trying to get people "on your
side" behind the other mother's back. I wouldnt worry too much about
any charges, her son attacked your son and he defended himself (too
well, it seems.) I wouldnt hesitate to tell her that either. Your
son could "press charges" against hers for starting the fight. The
point is not who "wins" or who is hurt more, they were both
involved, they both are held accountable. I think its ridiculous
though that the other mother would even involve the police, it
sounds like she has more issues than her son. Maybe she called the
police first because she thought you might?

I know its really unsettling when a cop shows up at your door, but i
dont think there will be much more made out of the situation on
their end. She can press charges against you if she wishes, but she
would have to show damages, and it would be small claims. And i
doubt she would win.


Katherine

Dana Matt

> I hope his mom talked to him about that beforehand,
> and told him
> that can invite all sorts of hard feelings about
> "not sharing", and
> that perhaps he should choose a toy to bring that he
> would be
> willing to share. Judging from the boy's reaction,
> she probably
> didnt have that conversation with him,
> unfortunately. Do other kids
> bring toys they don't share or is it mostly this
> kid?

Is this how others feel? Boy, I sure don't. My kids
have special things that they don't want to share, and
it would never occur to me to suggest that they do.
My 6 yo wears a ring that is a beautiful silver and
peridot thing...she is obsesive about taking it off to
go to the bathroom, go to sleep, so it doesn't get
lost. If we were out and about she'd hand it to me to
watch. It would not even occur to me that, since she
set it down, she's "done with it" and everyone else
might have a turn with it. I mean, I might put my
knitting down as well, but that doesn't mean I want
everyone picking it up and knitting, purling, or
knot-tying when I'm in the bathroom. Do you really
not think people should bring things into public that
they're not willing to share? I don't go through
other people's purses, backpacks, etc when they turn
their backs....I don't drive around in their cars
without their permission....I don't go into their
houses and make a sandwich because they're not home...


Dana

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In a message dated 12/27/04 1:22:48 PM, hoffmanwilson@... writes:

<< Do you really
not think people should bring things into public that
they're not willing to share? I don't go through
other people's purses, backpacks, etc when they turn
their backs.... >>

That's not the same as a tricycle or a ball or a sword.

-=I don't drive around in their cars
without their permission....-=-

You're grown.
If you were five, you might want to pick up a toy car that was lying on the
sidewalk right next to you.

-=-I don't go into their
houses and make a sandwich because they're not home...-=-

I wouldn't want another kid coming into my house and playing with one of my
kids' toys without asking. But when we went to playgroup every week, the kids
took things they could share and that they intended to share.

Sandra

Dana Matt

> << Do you really
> not think people should bring things into public
> that
> they're not willing to share? I don't go through
> other people's purses, backpacks, etc when they turn
> their backs.... >>
>
> That's not the same as a tricycle or a ball or a
> sword.

Not to be annoying, but why? It's the same thing to
my kids...My 12 is equally protective of her purse,
where she carries money and maxipads, as my 6 yo is of
her teddy bear. They wouldn't want other people
playing with either of them. Why are they different?
Dana

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Fetteroll

on 12/27/04 3:50 PM, Dana Matt at hoffmanwilson@... wrote:

> They wouldn't want other people
> playing with either of them. Why are they different?

Because of their ages.

I don't think it's being suggested that kids *have* to share whatever they
bring into public. I think it's being suggested that kids be helped to
understand the dynamics that can result when bringing things that can and
can't be shared.

If it's important for a child to take a particular toy they don't want to
share to a park, they can be helped to understand that they should *expect*
other kids to want to play with it and *expect* other kids to be upset when
they can't. That's just going to be a natural consequence. If they dislike
the upsetness more than they want the toy, then they'll choose to leave it
behind.

> My 12 is equally protective of her purse,
> where she carries money and maxipads, as my 6 yo is of
> her teddy bear.

I doubt most 12 yos will want to play with your daughter's purse! Most 6 yos
will understand not wanting to share a teddy bear but it would be helpful
for her to know that it's possible that someone will really really want to
play with it and that there could be kids who are upset by not being able
to.

Joyce

Manisha Kher

--- Fetteroll <fetteroll@...> wrote:

> on 12/27/04 3:50 PM, Dana Matt at
> hoffmanwilson@... wrote:
>
> > They wouldn't want other people
> > playing with either of them. Why are they
> different?
>
> Because of their ages.
>
Age is certainly a big factor. The other difference
has to do with the setting. If I'm with my kids at a
playgroup, I would expect all toys being brought to
the playgroup to be shared unless told otherwise.

I also think there is a difference between a special
teddy bear - the toy that a child carries everywhere
and is a "security blanket" - and other toys. It's
somehow more personal.

Manisha

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queenjane555

> Is this how others feel? Boy, I sure don't. My kids
> have special things that they don't want to share, and
> it would never occur to me to suggest that they do.

But don't you think bringing something that other kids WILL want to
play with or look at (like a sword) to a play date/park day is a bad
idea?

> My 6 yo wears a ring that is a beautiful silver and
> peridot thing...she is obsesive about taking it off to
> go to the bathroom, go to sleep, so it doesn't get
> lost. If we were out and about she'd hand it to me to
> watch. It would not even occur to me that, since she
> set it down, she's "done with it" and everyone else
> might have a turn with it. I mean, I might put my
> knitting down as well, but that doesn't mean I want
> everyone picking it up and knitting, purling, or
> knot-tying when I'm in the bathroom.

But these aren't toys, meant for children to play with. If your
daughter gives you her ring to take care of, she isnt dropping it
down on the playground grass and forgetting about it. And if she DID
do that, and another child picked it up to look at it, i dont think
it would be appropriate for her to tackle the other child to get
them to give it back. Its one thing if its a "lovey" like a security
blanket, or even if its something the child is worried about getting
broken, but still, i think its not a good thing to bring a toy to a
community event if you are going to flip out if someone else touches
it. And i dont think the mother prepared her child well for what
would happen if someone DID want to touch his toy.

Do you really
> not think people should bring things into public that
> they're not willing to share? I don't go through
> other people's purses, backpacks, etc when they turn
> their backs....I don't drive around in their cars
> without their permission....I don't go into their
> houses and make a sandwich because they're not home...>

Hmmm....i dont see these things as being the same as a toy sword
brought to a park day where there was a high liklihood of other boys
being there who would want to play with that sword. At the very
least, its not very nice or considerate of him. Yes, its his "right"
to not let someone else see his sword. Just like it would be my
right to bring say, yummy cupcakes to a gathering, but say "Oh these
are only for US, you can't have any!" Its my right, but it seems
likely to cause bad feelings when its unnecessary.

I'm not saying the child should be forced to share his toys. I'm
saying that if he didnt want someone to play with his toy he
shouldnt have brought it at all, or asked his mom to hold it for
him. Put it back in the car. Lots of options. But instead, when
another child picked it up he tackled that child and then his mom
called the police.

If my child had something valuable, or he didnt want other kids to
play with it, and we had visiting children in our home i wouldnt
say "oh you can't play with that" ,i would put the stuff up out of
sight. My son brought a gameboy with a saved game on it, to a
library day, and the kid who borrowed it accidentally erased his
game. Yes, that sucked, but my son knew ahead of time he was risking
his game if he let someone else play. I think the poster's child,
who grabbed the sword knowing the other boy didnt want him to play
with it, is somewhat "at fault" as well, as he knew it wasnt his
property and shouldve asked. But i think the other boy's mother
shouldve stepped in and helped navigate the situation.

I dont think its a good idea to bring toys you dont want to share to
a park day when there is likely to be a lot of kids there who want
your toy. Why create those kinds of problems if its not necessary?
Why set your child up for that kind of confrontation? I'm not sure
how you've jumped from a sword laying on the ground in a public
park, to walking into someone's home.


Katherine

Dana Matt

> > They wouldn't want other people
> > playing with either of them. Why are they
> different?
>
> Because of their ages.
>
> I don't think it's being suggested that kids *have*
> to share whatever they
> bring into public. I think it's being suggested that
> kids be helped to
> understand the dynamics that can result when
> bringing things that can and
> can't be shared.
>

We often meet with all ages of people--so there is
just as much chance a 3 yo will want to play with my
12 yo's purse (it's very cute) than my 6 yo's teddy
bear. If my kids need to set them down, they usually
bring them to me for safe keeping. If a little person
asks to play with them while they're in my care, I say
"I'm sorry, but this is something very special to
Lauren and she's not wanting to share it." I haven't
noticed anyone being upset about it. Consequnetly, my
kids know what that means, and don't play with other
people's "special things"...

When we have friends over, we put away everything we
don't want them to touch, and put out only toys we're
happy sharing.
Dana


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Dana Matt

I'm not sure
> how you've jumped from a sword laying on the ground
> in a public
> park, to walking into someone's home.

I wasn't talking about a sword laying on the ground,
just about the expectation of kids to share. But
y'all are reassuing me that NO, no one is being forced
to share, so I'll just take a chill-pill now ;) My
kids wouldn't lay something on the ground that was
important to them--they would bring it to me or put it
in the car for safe-keeping. We have never had a
problem with this, so maybe I probably just don't know
what I'm talking about--but I hear echos of my SIL's
horrible voice shrieking "AUSTIN! SHARE!" with all of
his brand new birthday toys that he's not ready to
share, and I feel for the children who are forced to
do so. My kids have lots of special things, and they
don't share them, but then they also have things they
do share. They often bring toys that are special to
the park, but we also bring 4 pails and shovels that
everyone can use, various other fun stuff that can be
shared. I didn't mean, in any way, that the attacker
was right in tackling the other child for touching a
sword left on the ground.
Dana


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[email protected]

In a message dated 12/27/04 3:38:21 PM, queenjane555@... writes:

<< Just like it would be my

right to bring say, yummy cupcakes to a gathering, but say "Oh these

are only for US, you can't have any!" Its my right, but it seems

likely to cause bad feelings when its unnecessary.

>>

Right.

I was thinking of what adult examples might be. Maybe a new iPod or something
the others had never seen before. A videophone. The newest Weird Al album.
A cooler of beer. Brownies hot from the oven, still steaming and smelling
chocolaty, and then yelling if anyone even looked at them or reached out or
asked if they could see/have/hear/taste.

Adults don't do that because they're not as impetuous and quick-to-need as
toddlers.
Most aren't.

Sandra

[email protected]

In a message dated 12/27/04 3:57:15 PM, hoffmanwilson@... writes:

<< but I hear echos of my SIL's
horrible voice shrieking "AUSTIN! SHARE!" with all of
his brand new birthday toys that he's not ready to
share, and I feel for the children who are forced to
do so. >>

I hate that too. Some things just shouldn't have to be shared.
And those are the things kids shouldn't leave lying in parks. <g>

Sandra

[email protected]

In a message dated 12/27/2004 5:41:59 P.M. Eastern Standard Time,
hoffmanwilson@... writes:

If my kids need to set them down, they usually
bring them to me for safe keeping. If a little person
asks to play with them while they're in my care, I say
"I'm sorry, but this is something very special to
Lauren and she's not wanting to share it." <<<

In *your* safe-keeping. The sword in question was lying unattended.

~Kelly


[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

[email protected]

I thought and thought and this is what I thought I would do if it were me:

I would compose a very careful letter to the mom saying you were sorry for
your son's part in the incident, and you were sorry it wasn't worked out while
both boys were there. I would indicate at the bottom of the letter that copies
were going to the two moms I trusted most in the group. And I would make
those three copies and keep one.

I would do it on paper, not e-mail.

Well, maybe e-mail too, but definitely signed real piece of paper.

And I would deliver them and then she would have to either back off or make a
scene. But IF she tried to press, she would be pressing with one hand and
holding a signed apology in the other. And IF she tried to act like nothing
happened, there would be witnesses who knew what had happened.

Then if that doesn't feel good enough, maybe write another letter, a general
letter, with 30 copies to just pass out however at a group meeting, not at all
reciting the tale of "She called the police!" but requesting that the moms
not bring things that will cause strife, and that any mom whose child is
involved in an incident should get up and go there directly and not leave the park
without trying to resolve the issue there, for the good of the peace and future
of the group. Make it positive and hopeful and stirring and great, and that
should shut her up and shut her down.

I'll help you write it if you want, or you could post drafts here and
everybody could sand and polish with you.

Sandra

Dana Matt

> In *your* safe-keeping. The sword in question was
> lying unattended.
>
> ~Kelly

Yes--Sorry, I know I confused matters by discussing
charing in general instead of the story at hand.
Dana

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pam sorooshian

On Dec 27, 2004, at 12:50 PM, Dana Matt wrote:

> Not to be annoying, but why? It's the same thing to
> my kids...My 12 is equally protective of her purse,
> where she carries money and maxipads, as my 6 yo is of
> her teddy bear. They wouldn't want other people
> playing with either of them. Why are they different?

Dana, do you go to park days?

Generally, kids bring things to play with WITH other kids - since that
IS the point of going to a park day - playing with other kids.

So there is a reasonable assumption that kids have brought toys they
intend to share, especially among the younger kids.

Most of the parents will inform their own kids that they ought to ask
before taking another kid's toy to play with - that's how the kids
learn to respect each other's stuff, true. But it isn't a terribly
unusual "offense" for a kid to pick up a toy that is lying on the
ground and have a look at it - maybe THEN turn to the other kid and
say, "Can I play with this?"

-pam

pam sorooshian

On Dec 27, 2004, at 4:00 PM, SandraDodd@... wrote:

> and that any mom whose child is
> involved in an incident should get up and go there directly and not
> leave the park
> without trying to resolve the issue there, for the good of the peace
> and future
> of the group. Make it positive and hopeful and stirring and great,
> and that
> should shut her up and shut her down.

This is SO useful. It is very very difficult to resolve problems
after-the-fact -- and often very very easy to resolve them at the time,
face-to-face.

-pam

Dana Matt

> Dana, do you go to park days?
>
<BWG> You found me out ;) Does it show that I've been
lliving in the middle of nowhere, Montana, with no one
but crazed school-at-homers around?!?! We went to one
park day, but all the children were forced to sit and
write a report about nature before they could play,
and as I didn't make my kids to do it my kids didn't
have anyone to play with, and it all sucked rocks ;)

So no, I don't go to park days ;) What's it to ya?
<grin>
Dana

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pam sorooshian

On Dec 27, 2004, at 11:54 PM, Dana Matt wrote:

>> Dana, do you go to park days?
>>
> <BWG> You found me out ;) Does it show that I've been
> lliving in the middle of nowhere, Montana, with no one
> but crazed school-at-homers around?!?! We went to one
> park day, but all the children were forced to sit and
> write a report about nature before they could play,
> and as I didn't make my kids to do it my kids didn't
> have anyone to play with, and it all sucked rocks ;)

Yikes. Something like that happened to us on a camping trip, once. Made
my stomach hurt. A lot.

>
> So no, I don't go to park days ;) What's it to ya?

I wish we could go together!!!

I was just thinking that people who aren't going to park days on a
regular basis might not have as much sense of how the kids typically
bring toys to share and that Riley's assumption that it was okay to
pick up a toy to check it out was a pretty reasonable assumption - or
at least not a TERRIBLE faux pax.

> <grin>
> Dana

Dana Matt

> I was just thinking that people who aren't going to
> park days on a
> regular basis might not have as much sense of how
> the kids typically
> bring toys to share and that Riley's assumption that
> it was okay to
> pick up a toy to check it out was a pretty
> reasonable assumption - or
> at least not a TERRIBLE faux pax.

Oh, I agree. If we (my kids and I) saw a sword laying
in the grass we would all assume it was fair game. My
sharing comments were in general, not about this
incident per se. And thanks for understanding my
complete ignorance about the park day stuff ;) I hope
I get more experience now that we're in Washington :)
Dana

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Rodney and Rebecca Atherton

>My husband is a bit freaked out because
>the officer said the family could press
>civil charges against us for this.

File them back; don't but, you could. Didn't the child go after YOUR son?
I think that is so immature and dramatic for an adult to settle a playgroup
scuffle with the police, as if the parents are not capable of working it
out! Police and seven year olds????

But, you know what. I bet you aren't alone. I bet there are other people
in the group that have either had the same problem with this boy and/or
family! They might be too scared to admit it. Sounds like the family is
dramatic and they blame others for their son's problems. They may be the
son's problem!

Deb Lewis

***but all the children were forced to sit and
write a report about nature before they could play,***

Also Montana, the last park day we went to the kids had to draw pictures
of everything they saw in the creek.

I remember one outing to this amazing ash flow site where Dylan and I
were finding crystals all over the place, the other kids had to sit in
their cars and eat lunch because it was straight up twelve, while their
moms, clip boards in hand, gave them a run down of the geology of the
area.

Dylan knew the geology because he stood on the bench of this miles long
ash deposit and *saw* the flow patterns and identified the ancient
caldera while he was exploring.

We have a whole tray of crystals from that day and pictures and a bottle
of ash and fond memories and our friend Laura has the test papers she
made up for her kids. I wonder if her kids even remember.

We haven't gone to park days in years.

Deb L, who would use the park day sword to hack the heads of evil mothers
and set the little children FREE, Mwaa ha ha ha ha ha. (ok, not really)

[email protected]

In a message dated 12/28/04 8:19:23 AM, rebeccawow@... writes:

<< Sounds like the family is
dramatic and they blame others for their son's problems. They may be the
son's problem!
>>

Stories like this make me think Howard Gardner is even more right than I
already think he's right. (!?!! <g>)

Intelligence is inherited. It can throwback or be screwed up like any other
inherited trait. But two musical parents will likely have musical kids. Two
tone-deaf parents probably won't. Same sports, math, language...

Gardner says "interpersonal intelligence," and I think two people who don't
have it can't pass it on by nature OR by nurture.

Bummer.

Sandra

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In a message dated 12/28/04 8:42:29 AM, ddzimlew@... writes:

<< Also Montana, the last park day we went to the kids had to draw pictures
of everything they saw in the creek. >>

Please clarify "had to."

<<***but all the children were forced to sit and
write a report about nature before they could play,***>>

'Splain to me "forced," Lucy!

-=-who would use the park day sword to hack the heads of evil mothers
and set the little children FREE, Mwaa ha ha ha ha ha. -=-


Hooray!




-=- (ok, not really)-=-

oh, darn.

Sandra

Deb Lewis

***Also Montana, the last park day we went to the kids had to draw
pictures
of everything they saw in the creek. >>***

***Please clarify "had to."***

These weren't unschoolers, I was reminiscing about our attempts to join
in park days here with the local homeschooling group.

The moms liked to make outings *educational* so they assigned a science
survey of the creek. This was typical of park days here and probably
still is. In the winter months the homeschool group gets together for
"gym days" at the community center, but the kids don't get to play, the
moms outline and referee games and activities. The kids would get
fifteen minutes of free time at the end of the hour.

Poor kids.

Deb L

.

julie w

SandraDodd@... wrote:

>
> In a message dated 12/28/04 8:19:23 AM, rebeccawow@... writes:
>
> << Sounds like the family is
> dramatic and they blame others for their son's problems. They may be the
> son's problem!
> >>
>
> Stories like this make me think Howard Gardner is even more right than I
> already think he's right. (!?!! <g>)
>
> Intelligence is inherited. It can throwback or be screwed up like any
> other
> inherited trait. But two musical parents will likely have musical
> kids. Two
> tone-deaf parents probably won't. Same sports, math, language...
>
> Gardner says "interpersonal intelligence," and I think two people who
> don't
> have it can't pass it on by nature OR by nurture.
>
> Bummer.

~snort~
Being a nutjob can be inherited.
Folks I just can not get past the fact this woman called the POLICE over
this. I would not contact her, I would not try to "fix" it, I would
avoid all contact with them in the future.
I would let others know...if only for their own protection.
Julie W in AR



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In a message dated 12/28/04 12:39:53 PM, jjjwoolfolk@... writes:

<< Folks I just can not get past the fact this woman called the POLICE over

this. I would not contact her, I would not try to "fix" it, I would

avoid all contact with them in the future. >>

I would apologize on paper because calling the police a second time is
probably easier than the first. (And this probably wasn't even her first.)

It's not an apology designed to effusively say "I was wrong, please forgive
me." It's a formalized statement of "bummer; regret my kid was affected by
your kid's weirdness."

Sandra