Elisa Tauraso

Wow! I don't know if you all feel like me but I'm exhausted!?? I just spent the past two days cooking, cleaning, taking care of the kids and doing it all over again as tons of folks came by for Xmas visits, food, and drinks!! I'm beginning to wonder if all this passing on the tradition of the Mom making a huge Xmas meal is really worth it? What are we teaching our kids - to run around like crazy and never relax for a moment? Does anyone else feel like I do?

My kids said, "Wow, Xmas was great Mom but where were you?" Of course, I was in the kitchen the whole time. I would have preferred to be sitting on the floor playing with the new toys my kids just got. My dd and I were just laying in bed laughing and saying that next year we're going to serve our guests McDonalds happy meals so that MOM can chill out. I'm seriously thinking about it. What do you all do? Are you caught up in this kind of Xmas mania like me?

Elisa Tauraso - Mom to 4 n- dd7, dd6, ds4, and ds3.


[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

April M

No big meal here! We prepare our favorite orderves and snacky finger foods.
Most can be prepared or at least prepped ahead of time. On Christmas
day....we eat what and when we want all day long....this year we had a yummy
artichoke dip, a Mexican bean dip, cheese and crackers, veggies and dip,
chips and dip, spinach dip....cookies and chocolates we made earlier in the
month....paper plates, paper cups.....this year we had my oldest daughter's
boyfriend over....sometimes it's just us family, sometimes lots of
company....but always the same kind of foods.

~April
Mom to Kate-18, Lisa-15, Karl-13, & Ben-9.
*REACH Homeschool Group, an inclusive group meeting throughout Oakland
County.. http://www.homeschoolingonashoestring.com/REACH_home.html
*Michigan Youth Theater...Acting On Our Dreams...
<http://www.michiganyouththeater.org/>
"A mind once stretched by a new idea never regains its original dimensions."
~~ Oliver Wendell Holmes (1809 - 1894)








-----Original Message-----
From: Elisa Tauraso [mailto:elisatauraso@...]
Sent: Sunday, December 26, 2004 8:31 PM
To: [email protected]
Subject: [UnschoolingDiscussion] An After Xmas Thought


Wow! I don't know if you all feel like me but I'm exhausted!?? I just
spent the past two days cooking, cleaning, taking care of the kids and doing
it all over again as tons of folks came by for Xmas visits, food, and
drinks!! I'm beginning to wonder if all this passing on the tradition of
the Mom making a huge Xmas meal is really worth it? What are we teaching our
kids - to run around like crazy and never relax for a moment? Does anyone
else feel like I do?

My kids said, "Wow, Xmas was great Mom but where were you?" Of course, I
was in the kitchen the whole time. I would have preferred to be sitting on
the floor playing with the new toys my kids just got. My dd and I were just
laying in bed laughing and saying that next year we're going to serve our
guests McDonalds happy meals so that MOM can chill out. I'm seriously
thinking about it. What do you all do? Are you caught up in this kind of
Xmas mania like me?

Elisa Tauraso - Mom to 4 n- dd7, dd6, ds4, and ds3.


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[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Dana Matt

What do you
> all do? Are you caught up in this kind of Xmas
> mania like me?

Hubby and I got up and cuddled and waited for the kids
to wake up, which was about 10:30. We lazed around,
drinking coffee and eating yumies and opening
presents, and then around 12:30 threw a prime rib
roast in the oven (which has nothing at all to do once
it's in there)--no one came over, we staying in our
fuzzy, footie jammies all day and played and read new
books and watched new movies and put together
puzzles--ate around 5, drank a bottle of wine, watched
another movie, fell asleep :)

Dana


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[email protected]

I used to be just like you shared...I would clean for the weeks leading up to Christmas...bake the entire week of Christmas...and on Christmas Eve and Christmas Day we had lot of company to tend to. I never felt like I had a spare moment during the holidays. I didn't make an official decision to stop doing this, but somehow I have adapted to a more simple lifestyle over the past three years or so. Christmas Day was splendid -- we awoke, opened presents, started the turkey, then hubby, myself and our 4 year old climbed back into bed for a nap, while the older two (ages 12 and 14) had fun with their gifts and chatted online with friends and family far away about their goodies. When we woke up for the second time, we headed over to my sister's home to exchange gifts, stayed for about 2 hours and then headed home where we tidied up and relaxed the rest of the evening and night.

Today has been a wonderfully lazy day as well....leftovers, movies, and jammies pretty much sums it up. Oh, and 'warm' chocolate as Mattie enjoys.

~~Brandie~~
http://www.scrapbookingwithbrandie.com
http://scrapblogging.blogspot.com


----- Original Message -----
From: Elisa Tauraso
To: [email protected]
Sent: Sunday, December 26, 2004 8:31 PM
Subject: [UnschoolingDiscussion] An After Xmas Thought


Wow! I don't know if you all feel like me but I'm exhausted!?? I just spent the past two days cooking, cleaning, taking care of the kids and doing it all over again as tons of folks came by for Xmas visits, food, and drinks!! I'm beginning to wonder if all this passing on the tradition of the Mom making a huge Xmas meal is really worth it? What are we teaching our kids - to run around like crazy and never relax for a moment? Does anyone else feel like I do?

My kids said, "Wow, Xmas was great Mom but where were you?" Of course, I was in the kitchen the whole time. I would have preferred to be sitting on the floor playing with the new toys my kids just got. My dd and I were just laying in bed laughing and saying that next year we're going to serve our guests McDonalds happy meals so that MOM can chill out. I'm seriously thinking about it. What do you all do? Are you caught up in this kind of Xmas mania like me?

Elisa Tauraso - Mom to 4 n- dd7, dd6, ds4, and ds3.


[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]



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[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

pam sorooshian

On Dec 26, 2004, at 5:31 PM, Elisa Tauraso wrote:

> I'm seriously thinking about it. What do you all do? Are you caught
> up in this kind of Xmas mania like me?

My two sisters' families and mine get together around 11 am for brunch.
One of us brings fruit and muffins/bread, one brings a potato
casserole, and the one whose house it is at makes scrambled eggs. We
ask the young adult kids who live on their own (in their 20's) to bring
a half gallon of juice or milk. Somebody brings coffee and cream.
That's about it. Some years somebody gets a honeybaked ham. My sister's
in-laws are Mexican and always have tamales on Christmas Eve and most
years she has a whole bunch of those left from the night before.

We put out all the food and people serve themselves - buffet style.

That's it.

We have a great time - we play games, watch family videos, talk, go for
a walk, and ended the day watching episodes of West Wing season 3,
which my sister had gotten as a gift.

-pam

[email protected]

In a message dated 12/26/04 7:48:38 PM, elisatauraso@... writes:

<< I'm beginning to wonder if all this passing on the tradition of the Mom
making a huge Xmas meal is really worth it? What are we teaching our kids - to
run around like crazy and never relax for a moment? Does anyone else feel like
I do? >>

I've never done a Christmas meal. I think it's not worth it.

We did a little buffet the Sunday before Christmas for a card playing party
with some out-of-town visitors (and invited over the locals they would like to
hang out with). I made food a few times over the weekend and let people
know. I delivered food to Kirby where he was playing Halo II online a couple of
times.

We hung out, talked, watched videos, messed with the firewood, had a few
guests in for short whiles, and nobody stressed about anything, but Holly had a
battery-operated sorting bank that quit working. So I have to decide whether to
mess with sending it back or just give it a respectful burial-at-dumpster.

Sandra

Robyn Coburn

<<<<What do you all do? Are you caught up in this kind of Xmas mania like
me?>>>>

Since I am nowhere near a gourmet cook, we generally order a fully cooked
meal from a market. Last year we used Gelson's in Los Angeles, which was a
little pricey (4 adults), but this year we are in Galveston and got a cooked
turkey dinner with sides, bread rolls and pies from Krogers (Ralphs chain)
for under $50.00. We were only three adults and Jayn eating and so we have
half a turkey and a bunch of other leftovers for sandwiches and lunches in
the days following.

BTW my dh did all the work of reheating the foods both this year and last,
while Jayn and I set the table together.

Next year my mother will be gone from this life. I have no idea whether my
FIL will want to spend the season with us, or his brother and SIL and their
family. Or he may choose to work over the holidays to free some young doctor
with kids from a shift in the ER, and escape sad memories. We may be living
in our current home, or someplace else. We may be in the USA, or traveling.
Next year will be the start of new traditions, in a sense free from the
obligations to various family members on both sides that have felt
increasingly limiting to us, to tell the truth. It's all new from now on.

We traveled to Galveston, TX on the gulf coast, expecting the usual balmy
Christmas weather not unlike what we have experienced in Los Angeles. Every
10 or 12 years this part of the world gets a sprinkling of snow. This year
there has been several inches of snow on Christmas Eve. This has been the
most on the ground on record. To our amazement we had a white Christmas, the
first in my memory and my mother's last.

I asked her if she could remember having a white Christmas at any time while
traveling in Europe when I was young - our childhoods in Australia feature
summer Christmases. Her answer revealed some confusion I think, since she
was talking about a school that she attended as a child, but I'm thinking
she is possibly just transposing names, and it was while I was at some
school in Europe. I don't remember. I spent much of my childhood in Hong
Kong, another part of the world where snow is very rare.

Robyn L. Coburn

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Mary

From: "Elisa Tauraso" <elisatauraso@...>

snipped <<What are we teaching our kids - to run around like crazy and never
relax for a moment? Does anyone else feel like I do? >>



I've had times like that in the past and just don't do it anymore. Not worth
it for me or the family. Holidays, or any kind of event for us is sharing it
all together. That's what makes it fun.

Christmas eve we have our own tradition of eating take out. This year it was
Chinese. Joe and the 2 younger girls cleaned up the kitchen while I wrapped
presents. The kids are showered early, Tara goes with her dads family for
the eve and comes home later. Joe and I and the 3 kids here bake cookies and
watch a movie. This year it was Elf. My pot of sauce gets made in the
evening for the next day and that's a sure sign, or smell that Christmas is
on it's way. We snack and enjoy the evening and the kids head to bed around
midnight. That's when Joe and I take out all the gifts and place them under
and around the tree.

Christmas day doesn't start very early. I think this year it was around 9.
Joe goes and gets donuts while the kids run around waking everyone up. This
year the 3 younger ones were running around the house all excited and my
oldest stumbles out of her room, still sleepy because the kids woke her and
mumbles "Ah, to be young again!!!!" She's not quite yet 19!!! LOL!

After opening the gifts the turkey gets put in. We spend about the next hour
taking the kids toys out of the impossible boxes they pack them in these
days. It's a day where we all sit around and play. I may stuff some
mushrooms and put the sauce on but mostly we all just relax. Some cousins
and other family come later in the afternoon and it's still all relaxed. I
make sure the food is all easy do ahead or not time consuming. I enjoy the
day just as much as everyone else.

I had our homeschooling group party here this year again. 15 adults and 23
kids. I enjoyed that party too. Some of us made some food and we ordered
some platters from the grocery store. All very easy. I'm a good hostess, but
I always want to be a fun one too!!!!

Mary B

[email protected]

I'm exhausted too, but boy is it a great EXHAUSTED feeling :o)

I am beat from baking a zillion different kinds of goodies over the last
several days. The wrapping of presents made my fingers tired. The traveling to
see dh's family and my family, each a 3 hour drive each way from our house,
within 3 days of eachother, has left me feeling like I must permanently stretch
my legs.

But...we had a splendid Christmas with only the 4 of us. We all enjoyed the
goodies while opening gifts early in the morning. My fingers remembered the
tired feeling again when every toy seemed to be wired 50 different ways in
every package. We went nowhere so I we all stretched out all day. The phone was
our connection to all of our loved ones as we shared stories about the day
over and over again. We all just got out of our pj's tonite and had bubble baths
to get into more pj's. Our boys, 6 and 3 are sleeping soundly, although I'm
not sure how when the beds are shared with every new item from gameboys to
socks. Hubby is reading the paper and I am happy to be typing this now but I am
beat from the whirlwind of activity from the last several days but I wouldn't
trade a minute of it.

And I didn't make any huge dinner. We got a bunch of different
snacks-cheeses, crackers, breads, sausages, veggies, dips. That kinda thing and just
snacked all day. Self serve.

Maybe go for the Mickey D's or the snacks or have everyone bring a dish.
Whatever it takes for you to get to enjoy it all too. Don't waste time in the
kitchen, spend it with the kids and all the others. You might be surprised that
informal is so appreciated. I thought my mom would have a fit if we didn't
do some big dinner but she was relieved when I said that lets just have snacks
and stuff when we visit so we can REALLY visit. Everyone loves a good meal
but life is too short to spend it in the kitchen.

Happy Holidays!!!!
Pamela


[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

queenjane555

>What do you all do? Are you caught up in this kind of Xmas mania
>like me?

I'm pretty tired, but don't feel like i went to *too* much trouble,
it helps because i have two sisters and we sort of all share the
responsibility for getting a meal on the table. (For some reason,
the men in the family, my brothers, think the food just
magically appears there.)

We do Xmas eve for family-present opening, start late (maybe 7pm or
so, although people show up earlier and hang out)...we have a meat
tray and "pickle" (olive, cheese etc)tray for sandwiches, and lots
of homemade cookies. Christmas morning, santa came, and then dinner
was served around 3p. But we do a buffett, so it mostly involved
heating up the ham and the lasangna, opening cans of stuff and
heating it up, and then everyone serves themselves.

The only real hard part was that i ended up staying up really late
thurs night making chocolate chip cookies (shouldve made the dough
earlier), and lasangna (which is better if it sits overnight at
least), and then stayed up really late friday night helping santa
wrap presents. Then saturday had to help my mom get ready (shower)
and clean a little.

It helps if you have alot of family to chip in and help, have people
bring a dish, and have relaxed standards as far as cleaning
and "perfection" of the meal. We are *really* laid back here, and
yet my sister still frets about whether she's doing a good enough
job. Growing up my mom never sat down during a holiday dinner and
was always running around offering more food, or in the kitchen. Now
that she's in a wheelchair, she's enjoying having people wait on her
all the time.

Seamus is off spending the week with his father, so i've gone from
toy-fun-hysteria (was up last night at 3am combining liquids for his
SuperFuel Lab racer thing, putting together a Fire and Ice Dragon
set, and playing with the robosapien), to a really quiet and calm
house and a bed to myself tonight.


Katherine

queenjane555

>My fingers remembered the tired feeling again when every toy
>seemed to be wired 50 different ways in every package.

Tell me about it! Seamus' got a robosapien, its a big robot that
walks, picks up stuff, supercool, but took forever to get out of the
package.of course i forgot to buy batteries for almost everything,
and we were about ten batteries short! And its not xmas unless i
have to pick through a bag of garbage looking for lost directions
(thankfully just a garbage bag full of wrapping paper, but out in
the snow!brrr)...luckily i came up with the brilliant idea of just
downloading them from the product website (this was for a "digital
movie creator")

Santa brought alot of cool gifts for seamus but almost everything
involved either installation on the computer, or putting it together
in some way. Now THATS exhausting!


Katherine

[email protected]

In a message dated 12/26/2004 10:50:20 P.M. Eastern Standard Time,
b229d655@... writes:

Everyone loves a good meal
but life is too short to spend it in the kitchen.<<<

<G> And *I* thought life was too short to spend it anywhere else! <bwg>

Solstice we had a half-dozen or so for hot bean soup, bread, and
marshmallows/s'mores by the new fire pit out in the side yard.

German "kalte Platte" (cold cuts) for Christmas Eve.

Christmas Day, we had twelve for dinner starting at noon. Italian. In my
"new" dining room that I just re-did last week. Patrick brought an anti
pasta---three trays of Italian meats and cheeses and pickles and veggies. Then we sat
down for the pasta dish---angel hair pasta with a goat cheese sauce and
shrimp. The main course was chicken picatta with ratatouille. Next was a salad.
Several bottles of wine. Dessert: well, I made a cheesecake, Gillian brought a
tart lemon sorbet, and Barbara brought a vanilla ice cream-custard. We
finished dinner at about 4:30. <g> But I get into this cooking stuff! <G>

We've been eating left-overs since. We'll have 20-30 over on New Year's Day
drop-in for ham, collards, hoppin' Johns, and cornbread----all for good luck
in the new year. Y'all are welcome to come---after dark on Saturday!

Between now & then, Ben & I will celebrate 19 years of marriage on the 28th.
While waiting for _Finding Neverland_ to start this afternoon, he leaned
over and said this was our best year yet! <G> The Sweetie!

~Kelly







[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

[email protected]

We're at my dad's house in Tucson. We did a "big" Christmas meal, I guess - we had beef wellington, cheese frosted cauliflower, mashed potatoes, and "heavenly carrots" (carrots in brown sugar and butter). We got a Trader Joe's chocolate torte for dessert. Everyone got what they wanted, really. My dad took my grandma to church and then brought her over, my sister came over early and we did dinner together, and Rain alternated between helping with the cooking and chatting with her great grandma. She did the mashed potatoes herself...

The beef was the only hard part. We started it and the whole oven started to smoke (leftover pizza drips, says my dad) so we had to stop, turn it off, take out the meat, over the windows and doors, and clean it off as best we could (later I demonstrated how his self-cleaning oven worked - he was widowed 3 years ago and it had been at least that long). Then we realized that my dad only had self-rising flour, instead of all-purpose, so my sister went on a quick trip to the grocery store. The crust part was difficult, and I had to make more crust mix as my sister tried to cover the meat with it... but we laughed a lot and it was kind of a fun bonding thing. Dinner was an hour late, but no one minded. My did served drinks and munchies, my grandma drank a few glasses of wine and told Rain lots of old stories, and even some new ones (she also forgot it was Christmas, which was a little worrisome - she's 91 and the nursing home looms). It was a communal effort, and even though I was nominally in charge of dinner, it didn't feel like a huge thing.

I really think it could have been stressful, but we all have a pretty easy-going attitude. Rain doesn't eat red meat, but she was fine with the other stuff. I've never cooked any beef that cost $13 a pound, so I was slightly worried that I would ruin $35 worth of meat, but it was really good.

Afterwards we did my grandma's gifts with her (we opened ours earlier) and hung out. Later my dad drove her home and I did some dishes, and that evening my dad and I did the rest of the dishes, then drove to Winterhaven and walked around and looked at lights.

It was a small get-together, really, because my brother is a TI and couldn't come home (although he called from San Antonio). We really had 5 different generations going - my grandma (91), my dad (61), me (36), my sister (24), and Rain (almost 12). Okay, 4 generations and a half-step in the middle. No small children, although my grandma needed pretty constant attention.

Things are more stressful in the kitchen when my dad's girlfriend is around, because she doesn't take minor disasters in stride very well.

Dar
In a message dated 12/26/04 7:48:38 PM, elisatauraso@... writes:

<< I'm beginning to wonder if all this passing on the tradition of the Mom
making a huge Xmas meal is really worth it? What are we teaching our kids - to
run around like crazy and never relax for a moment? Does anyone else feel like
I do? >>

Dawn Adams

Elsia writes:
>>What do you all do? Are you caught up in this kind of Xmas mania like me?
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
We do christmas dinner at the in-laws and bring a desert my husband buys at the restaurant he works at. If I were solely responsible, I would order out for Chinese...but the day before. EVERYTHING was closed here on the 25th.

Dawn (in NS)




[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

[email protected]

In a message dated 12/26/2004 8:48:51 PM Central Standard Time,
elisatauraso@... writes:

Wow! I don't know if you all feel like me but I'm exhausted!?? I just
spent the past two days cooking, cleaning, taking care of the kids and doing it
all over again as tons of folks came by for Xmas visits, food, and drinks!!
I'm beginning to wonder if all this passing on the tradition of the Mom making
a huge Xmas meal is really worth it? What are we teaching our kids - to run
around like crazy and never relax for a moment? Does anyone else feel like I
do?



~~~

My husband and I share the chores, and Will does some of them, too. When
the older boys were home, we all cleaned the house (me giving them specific
tasks I knew they were willing to do), and Charles and I shared the cooking. It
seems like we all know what needs to be done to get ready for guests, and they
all pitch in, knowing I'm going to ask them to help, anyway.

This year Charles happened to do most of the clean up while I sat in the
living room with my parents and my son before he leaves for Iraq on the 10th.
We shared the cooking as usual. I made a list of what we needed to make, and
we just got started. In fact, when my dad asked who to compliment about the
gravy, Charles and I had to think back through what we did to figure out who
made it. We didn't plan it that way or negotiate it. It just happened.
After dinner I was more interested in being with the family and letting the
dishes wait, and he was more interested in listening from the kitchen while
getting the dishes done.

One thing I know is true about me. I don't have any ownership over the
dishes! I don't care who does them, and I don't care if the kitchen is cleaned
up before I sit down to chat. I'd much rather spend my time with my family
and doing other things than cleaning up. Housework can WAIT! I know that
sometimes doing the dishes and putting the food away can be a social event, too.
It didn't work out that way this year.

And I don't rush around all the time prior to Christmas getting things
ready. Will and I decorated the tree together, and the housework got done
piecemeal. I usually take one day before Christmas where I farm out the kids (Will
is the only one left) for a play day or a day with Gram, and I spend that day
wrapping presents, cleaning off my desk, taking me time, going in the stores
Will hates to go in, or whatever. It feels more like rushing if I have to
do all that stuff while taking care of the kids. So I save all the tasks I
know I'd rather do alone for whatever reason for that day.

I say holidays are a family affair and the whole family should be involved.
Mom should let go of the ownership of it, and get dad at least to pitch in.
Certainly ask for help.

Karen


[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

kayb85

--- In [email protected], "Elisa Tauraso"
<elisatauraso@m...> wrote:
> Wow! I don't know if you all feel like me but I'm exhausted!?? I
just spent the past two days cooking, cleaning, taking care of the
kids and doing it all over again as tons of folks came by for Xmas
visits, food, and drinks!! I'm beginning to wonder if all this
passing on the tradition of the Mom making a huge Xmas meal is really
worth it? What are we teaching our kids - to run around like crazy
and never relax for a moment? Does anyone else feel like I do?

I invite family over on a different day. They like to see what the
kids get for Christmas, so we celebrate one day all by ourselves and
then have family over the next day.

We haven't celebrated Christmas yet because dh had to work Christmas
this year. He's off the 28th -31st, so we're having our Christmas on
the 29th this year. The kids don't mind at all...they look at it the
same way they look at it when we sometimes have a birthday party on a
day other than the actual birthday. No big deal.

Our Christmas schedule this year looks like this:
24th-Christmas at dh's parents' house
25th-Christmas at my parents' house
26th-Christmas at dh's aunts' house
27th-traveling to visit my grandma, uncle, aunt, and cousins (we're
leaving soon!)
28th-our Christmas eve at home
29th-our Christmas at home
30th-dh's parents and aunt coming to our house for a meal and to see
what the kids got
Jan 2-my parents coming to our house for a meal and to see what the
kids got.

So we do all the running around and all the cleaning the house and
making meals for company, but everything is spread out over a week
and a half.

Also, after wrestling with the cleaning issue for a long time, I
decided to go ahead and hire someone to come help me clean once a
week, so I've had help cleaning the house this month and it's made
Christmas cleaning a LOT less stressful.

Sheila

[email protected]

Every year since the kids were babies we stay home (we're the only ones in the immediate family here that have kids). Kids open presents; family trickles in starting around 10 or so. Sister brings banana bread (I've usually made a cranberry nut bread), brother brings egg nog. Sometime around noon, hubby puts in a roast beef and pan roasted potatoes, my father brings rolls and pies, and we eat in the early afternoon. Low stress, low pressure. Nobody cooks all day, everyone helps clean up, and we sit around talking and munching cookies and chocolates and playing with the kids' toys.

Janet


[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Elizabeth Hill

** Wow! I don't know if you all feel like me but I'm exhausted!??**

I'm with the others. It's totally okay to cut back, especially on food
prep, as that is unlikely to be a kid's favorite part of Christmas.

My friend with three kids (noq ages 7 to 11) said she had a better
holiday this year than in the past because the kids at this age were
much more helpful. (Her husband only pitches in when nagged vigorously
and she gets tired from doing that!) The kids did most of the
decorating, were very enthusiastic about sharing the food prep at both
Thanksgiving and Xmas, and (one final miracle <g>) when they did a Xmas
art project they set it up (by her suggestion) and cleaned it up by
themselves!

So I just wanted to hold out hope that in a few short years you won't be
doing all this by yourself. And if you can really stretch your
imagination, some day you'll have adult children and you'll want THEM to
do all the cooking so that you can spend the whole day adoring your
grandkids. :-)

Betsy

Elisa Tauraso

Well, thanks to all who responded. When your daughter doesn't know you were in the house for the past two days, something has to give! Next year it is a prime rib roast put in the oven ahead of time with mashed potatoes and a veggie and NO MORE! Xmas day will be PJ day and the day after family day - that will work well for us all.

So, now my next task is to have that very difficult conversation with my Mother who buys my children sooooo many presents that their heads are spinning and I'm frantic cleaning up wrapping paper and wondering how I'm going to integrate all that stuff into my household. Every year I tell her not so much and every year it is crazy. My four are her only grandchildren and she doesn't see that I'd prefer a big fat savings bond for their futures rather than toys that end up at good will in a short period of time. Also, she and my husband are the ones that push for the big traditional family sit down dinner. But, I'm going to put my foot down and be unpopular for a while and hope my Mother honors my wishes.

Thanks for the comments,
Elisa

----- Original Message -----
From: Elizabeth Hill
Sent: Monday, December 27, 2004 10:25 AM
To: [email protected]
Subject: Re: [UnschoolingDiscussion] An After Xmas Thought

** Wow! I don't know if you all feel like me but I'm exhausted!??**

I'm with the others. It's totally okay to cut back, especially on food
prep, as that is unlikely to be a kid's favorite part of Christmas.

My friend with three kids (noq ages 7 to 11) said she had a better
holiday this year than in the past because the kids at this age were
much more helpful. (Her husband only pitches in when nagged vigorously
and she gets tired from doing that!) The kids did most of the
decorating, were very enthusiastic about sharing the food prep at both
Thanksgiving and Xmas, and (one final miracle <g>) when they did a Xmas
art project they set it up (by her suggestion) and cleaned it up by
themselves!

So I just wanted to hold out hope that in a few short years you won't be
doing all this by yourself. And if you can really stretch your
imagination, some day you'll have adult children and you'll want THEM to
do all the cooking so that you can spend the whole day adoring your
grandkids. :-)

Betsy


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[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Dana Matt

> One thing I know is true about me. I don't have any
> ownership over the
> dishes! I don't care who does them, and I don't
> care if the kitchen is cleaned
> up before I sit down to chat. I'd much rather spend
> my time with my family
> and doing other things than cleaning up.

hmmm...most of our Christmas dinner dishes are still
in the kitchen (I can't say sink because they
over-flowed the sink!) --and here it is Monday
already! :D One of us will probably get started on
them today ;)
Dana

Housework
> can WAIT!

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Dana Matt

> > I'm frantic cleaning up wrapping paper
>
> We hand out presents one at a time. That gives time
> for present admiration
> and to clean up the wrapping. :-)

We also do presents one at a time, but we stowed
wrapping paper in the hall way, and then hubby and I
spent about an hour sitting amongst it, picking off
tape and sorting out metalics, and folding it all up
for the recycling pile. It was fun :)
Dana

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Free Home Delivery in Whatcom County
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Fetteroll

on 12/27/04 11:07 AM, Elisa Tauraso at elisatauraso@... wrote:

> I'm frantic cleaning up wrapping paper

We hand out presents one at a time. That gives time for present admiration
and to clean up the wrapping. :-)

> rather than toys that end up at good will in a short period of time

eBay

Half.com

Return them to ToysRUs. ToysRUs is very generous about returns and will take
back anything that they sell without a receipt if it's unopened.

Joyce

Penn Acres

one of our pleasures all through the years is letting the wrapping paper pile up and swirl around-only clearing a spot for the next person to unwrap their gift.
one of my my daughter in laws drives me nuts grabbing up paper and complaining about the "mess" -when she is around i have to remind her to just leave it-the kids have always loved it.
grace
who is still finding bits and pieces to pick up.........

.................................................................
---- Original Message -----
> > I'm frantic cleaning up wrapping paper
>
----------

No virus found in this outgoing message.
Checked by AVG Anti-Virus.
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[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

[email protected]

In a message dated 12/27/2004 5:36:01 PM Eastern Standard Time,
pennacres@... writes:
> one of our pleasures all through the years is letting the wrapping paper
> pile up and swirl around-only clearing a spot for the next person to unwrap
> their gift.
> one of my my daughter in laws drives me nuts grabbing up paper and
> complaining about the "mess" -when she is around i have to remind her to just leave
> it-the kids have always loved it.
> grace
> who is still finding bits and pieces to pick up.........
>
Us too. I love wading through piles of paper and boxes!!! It is SOOO
festive! It's like more decorations. Our 3 year old came out to me in the kitchen
yesterday with about 6 bows stuck to himself and later DH and I had quite a
laugh while our 6 year old ran around the house with a piece of wrapping paper
stuck to his rear end. It was funny because it had been torn off with only a
pic of Santa's face left. When we finally told him, he pulled it off and
giggled and then stuck it to his chest like a sticker. FUN...

Pamela


[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

julie w

Elisa Tauraso wrote:

> My four are her only grandchildren and she doesn't see that I'd
> prefer a big fat savings bond for their futures rather than toys that
> end up at good will in a short period of time.

But what do the kids think about savings bonds? I know my parents did
that a few times and Josh felt very, very let down. Why not ask her to
give some presents and then some cash so the kids (it should still be
their decision what to do with the cash) can use it for things they
wanted but did not get OR save it for some big thing they want but you
are not interested in spending your money on. That's how Josh got all
his game systems.

> Also, she and my husband are the ones that push for the big
> traditional family sit down dinner.

So do it at her or someone else's house. For that matter if its such a
big deal to hubby I would be suggesting that he might want to:
A. pitch in more
B. do without
C. take you to a nice Christmas day buffet

I will admit that I was just exhausted on Christmas, we never made it to
Mass because I had fallen back asleep in front of the fireplace. Partly
due to the huge amount of wine I went through on Friday, spiced tea is
better with wine and I drank way to many, and also because I left too
many things till the last minute. Luckily we go to Mom and Dad's on
Christmas so even if I (well dh and I) was cooking, I did not have to
worry about cleaning the house. That last week (parties and working and
shopping and snow/sleet storms) before Xmas was hard and since I had to
work all day Sunday I ended up sleeping until 1pm yesterday.

I'm with Tuck I always leave the dishes and clean-up till later.
Sometimes if I wait long enough dh will end up doing it.
Yes I'm eeeebbiillll that way.....
Julie W in AR



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mamaaj2000

--- In [email protected], Fetteroll
<fetteroll@e...> wrote:
> Return them to ToysRUs. ToysRUs is very generous about returns and
will take
> back anything that they sell without a receipt if it's unopened.

With at least one exception...we stood in line for 15 minutes to find
out they don't take Thomas stuff back without a receipt! I don't know
if there are other categories like this, but it might be worth a call
first given how busy they are right now.

But somehow we made it out of there paying $4.71 for two toys so I'm
calling the trip a success.

--aj