[email protected]

In a message dated 12/21/2004 5:01:58 PM Mountain Standard Time,
mamaaj2000@... writes:
I think I'd probably go to the parents after the first incident and
say something along the lines of "Oh, I'm sure you want to take care
of this yourself: Johnny just did such and such and I know you don't
want that going on. I'll let you talk to him and keep him from having
more problems."
========

I know I wouldn't.

If anyone, child or adult, was doing something destructive on my property, I
wouldn't hesitate for a second to say "STOP IT" and really mean it. I
wouldn't give a rat's ass what his parents or his wife or her husband thought about
me saying "NO."

IF parents want to be the only ones to deal with their children, then they
need to be first by being first.

But then I also don't like parents coming into my home with their kids and
then telling their kids they can't climb up the slide or have another cookie.

There are courtesies involved with being in another person's home and though
it seems to be becoming more and more lost, that's just ignorance in the
younger generation. People will come over with fast food and walk in the house!
Under certain gamer-circumstances, it's not so bad, but generally it's insanely
treating a person's house as though it were a public park with a picnic
table, or like a parking lot.

-=- And then the next time "What happened with Johnny? It
seems like he really needs your help. Everyone is taking care of
their own kids since my daughter is with her friends." Etc. -=-

If there were a next time, I would tell Johnny "Go sit with your mom," and
when I got to the mom would say "You need to stay with Johnny." I wouldn't.
She could stay with him at my house or take him to her house.

Part of the problem is that those who are problematical are often those who
are lacking social skills and as there's a genetic component, the parents might
be similarly lacking.

I had a friend who was like an asocial bull in a social china shop, but she
never felt bad or embarrassed because she didn't seem to perceive that element
of life on earth. In a meeting, she would close her eyes and then interrupt,
talking with her eyes closed. No point could be made with her without the
person being blunt to the point of cruelty, and THEN maybe she would take it the
way others take very tactful little hints. Statements that would have turned
me to crying goo were met with "Oh. Sorry. I didn't think about that;
thanks," and a smile, and an attempt to change.

So just as one wouldn't invite the tone deaf to sing madrigals nor the
stumble-footed to play soccer, just don't invite the socially inept to social
parties. Ceremonies (weddings, baptisms, funerals), fine. Those are rarely in
private homes anyway.

Sandra


[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

mamaaj2000

--- In [email protected], SandraDodd@a... wrote:
> If anyone, child or adult, was doing something destructive on my
property, I
> wouldn't hesitate for a second to say "STOP IT" and really mean
it. I
> wouldn't give a rat's ass what his parents or his wife or her
husband thought about
> me saying "NO."

Oh, I understand being blunt when someone is causing problems or
destroying your property. But the original poster wrote "Is
there something brilliant I can say to the parents?" so I assumed she
wanted an alternative.

She also wrote that the mom seemed to want a break from the kids, so
I read that to mean that the mom was capable of watching the kids,
but had the expectation she didn't need to during a party. If
reminding her didn't work, yeh, bluntness and/or not inviting them
would make sense to me.

--aj