(sorry for blank) re: going against a child's wishes
[email protected]
In a message dated 10/18/04 10:38:12 PM, lauraj2@... writes:
<< Ben can visit anytime, he and dh go over there often. He is now
heartbroken and has been crying all day. I feel awful and so does dh. But, honestly,
he hardly ever paid attention to her. We talked about getting a dog that fit
our family better and that we found a family that she fit better in. >>
Get the new puppy. Get a little puppy so you can train it in and for your
house.
Get him the puppy now and stop trying to reason and explain, and then he'll
be glad to let the other dog go to another house.
Tweak it. Say now he'll have two dogs, but one will live at the friend's
house because she likes big people who can play rough (or whatever will make him
feel empathy for the dog).
-=- He is just saying things that really break my heart "you shouldn't give
away a child's dog, that's not right. she is part of our family and you are
just breaking the rules and giving her away. this is the worst day of my young
life and you did this to me " -=-
He said "This is the worst day of my young life"!?
Tell him dogs should have consideration too, and she has a chance to be
happier.
Get a puppy.
And chew toys.
Maybe a smaller breed, even.
-=-We will probably wait a while to get the puppy, he says he doesn't want
one right now.-=-
Callouses will form, I think.
He's hurt and sad and feeling mistreated, and you don't want to correct the
original the error?
"NO, I don't want one" might not be the rational part of him, it might be the
resentful, resistant part that makes him think he's hurting you in return.
Refusing your generosity.
Sandra
<< Ben can visit anytime, he and dh go over there often. He is now
heartbroken and has been crying all day. I feel awful and so does dh. But, honestly,
he hardly ever paid attention to her. We talked about getting a dog that fit
our family better and that we found a family that she fit better in. >>
Get the new puppy. Get a little puppy so you can train it in and for your
house.
Get him the puppy now and stop trying to reason and explain, and then he'll
be glad to let the other dog go to another house.
Tweak it. Say now he'll have two dogs, but one will live at the friend's
house because she likes big people who can play rough (or whatever will make him
feel empathy for the dog).
-=- He is just saying things that really break my heart "you shouldn't give
away a child's dog, that's not right. she is part of our family and you are
just breaking the rules and giving her away. this is the worst day of my young
life and you did this to me " -=-
He said "This is the worst day of my young life"!?
Tell him dogs should have consideration too, and she has a chance to be
happier.
Get a puppy.
And chew toys.
Maybe a smaller breed, even.
-=-We will probably wait a while to get the puppy, he says he doesn't want
one right now.-=-
Callouses will form, I think.
He's hurt and sad and feeling mistreated, and you don't want to correct the
original the error?
"NO, I don't want one" might not be the rational part of him, it might be the
resentful, resistant part that makes him think he's hurting you in return.
Refusing your generosity.
Sandra
Danielle Conger
====
Get a puppy.
And chew toys.
Maybe a smaller breed, even.
=======
I can't stress enough how wonderful it was to get a puppy with young
kids. We went back and forth on whether to get an older dog (we knew we
wanted to rescue rather than go to a breeder) or put the work in with a
puppy. I finally decided that with young kids (and many rescues won't
place with young children) that I felt more comfortable with a puppy
whose buttons we would be installing ;).
I researched and decided I wanted something Springer Spaniel-ish, and
ended up finding the puppies on http://www.petfinder.com . There was a
litter of Springer/ Lab puppies with A Forever Home Rescue in Virginia.
We ended up driving more than an hour there, twice, to get our puppy,
and she has been wonderful!
She was only 7 weeks old when we got her, and my kids were 6, 4 and 3.
She and Sam, my youngest and the biggest reason we got her, are amazing
together. You can see a picture of him in his wolf costume wrestling
with her at my blog: http://www.organiclearning.blogspot.com .
It was a lot of work, and the biggest thing I worried about was
establishing her order in our pack since my kids are so little. I didn't
want her to think she was stronger or higher up than they are, so we did
a lot of work on that front in addition to basic training. I poke and
prod her, tug her ears and her tail, periodically so that if the kids do
this, she's used to it. I make sure that the kids can take her bones and
toys every once in a while. They began feeding her by hand out of her
dog bowl when she was a puppy, so she's used to them coming near her
food while she's eating. Lots of stuff like that. She still mouths the
kids when they're playing, but she's never once clamped down. She's more
likely to hurt them with her nails than anything.
I wouldn't suggest a small breed, personally, with small children as
they tend to be nippier and more delicate. I wanted something big enough
to hold up to my rough and tumble kids. Our puppy is 1.5 now, and she
weighs about 65 lbs. She's taken the kids out a couple of times by
barreling through a door, so I do have to be careful about that and on
the stairs--a definite drawback. But, Sam will get her head in a
half-nelson-like grip and take her down like he's in a rodeo! *lol* She
even sleeps on the bottom of his bed now. They are great together!
Hope that's helpful info, Laura. FWIW, I do think you made the right
decision in the end by placing her with a family better-suited to her needs.
--Danielle
http://www.danielleconger.com/Homeschool/Welcomehome.html
Get a puppy.
And chew toys.
Maybe a smaller breed, even.
=======
I can't stress enough how wonderful it was to get a puppy with young
kids. We went back and forth on whether to get an older dog (we knew we
wanted to rescue rather than go to a breeder) or put the work in with a
puppy. I finally decided that with young kids (and many rescues won't
place with young children) that I felt more comfortable with a puppy
whose buttons we would be installing ;).
I researched and decided I wanted something Springer Spaniel-ish, and
ended up finding the puppies on http://www.petfinder.com . There was a
litter of Springer/ Lab puppies with A Forever Home Rescue in Virginia.
We ended up driving more than an hour there, twice, to get our puppy,
and she has been wonderful!
She was only 7 weeks old when we got her, and my kids were 6, 4 and 3.
She and Sam, my youngest and the biggest reason we got her, are amazing
together. You can see a picture of him in his wolf costume wrestling
with her at my blog: http://www.organiclearning.blogspot.com .
It was a lot of work, and the biggest thing I worried about was
establishing her order in our pack since my kids are so little. I didn't
want her to think she was stronger or higher up than they are, so we did
a lot of work on that front in addition to basic training. I poke and
prod her, tug her ears and her tail, periodically so that if the kids do
this, she's used to it. I make sure that the kids can take her bones and
toys every once in a while. They began feeding her by hand out of her
dog bowl when she was a puppy, so she's used to them coming near her
food while she's eating. Lots of stuff like that. She still mouths the
kids when they're playing, but she's never once clamped down. She's more
likely to hurt them with her nails than anything.
I wouldn't suggest a small breed, personally, with small children as
they tend to be nippier and more delicate. I wanted something big enough
to hold up to my rough and tumble kids. Our puppy is 1.5 now, and she
weighs about 65 lbs. She's taken the kids out a couple of times by
barreling through a door, so I do have to be careful about that and on
the stairs--a definite drawback. But, Sam will get her head in a
half-nelson-like grip and take her down like he's in a rodeo! *lol* She
even sleeps on the bottom of his bed now. They are great together!
Hope that's helpful info, Laura. FWIW, I do think you made the right
decision in the end by placing her with a family better-suited to her needs.
--Danielle
http://www.danielleconger.com/Homeschool/Welcomehome.html
>
>