Re: chores
Andrea
<<<<<And, if just needing a tidy spot is what you're needing - it's not
so much the dishes per se but that you need a clean and serene
place, pick a place and clean it, put some nice candles there, maybe
some light reading and a comfy chair or cushion, maybe a portable
radio or CD player, and when you feel out of sorts and overwhelmed,
go there. Yeah, the dishes and all will still be there in 20 minutes
or 30 minutes, but you'll have recharged your own self.>>>>>>
I highly second this one!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Andrea
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
so much the dishes per se but that you need a clean and serene
place, pick a place and clean it, put some nice candles there, maybe
some light reading and a comfy chair or cushion, maybe a portable
radio or CD player, and when you feel out of sorts and overwhelmed,
go there. Yeah, the dishes and all will still be there in 20 minutes
or 30 minutes, but you'll have recharged your own self.>>>>>>
I highly second this one!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Andrea
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Melanie Ilsley
It is so funny that this came up, it is something that in our family we have struggled with. My
husband was brought up with strict rules about chores, but he never did them, and resented
he parents b/c of it. I grew up a bit differently, 4 kids, 2 adults, we each took turns washing
the dishes(i hated it), but on Sat. all the chores were thrown in a hat and everyone choose
two. You got whatever, and if someone was willing to trade, you did. My mom and dad both
worked full time, and we were willing to help, our house was never spotless(far from it) but
we were happy in it. The Sandra Dodd web site has a section on chores, reading all of it has
helped me. We had chores for our kids, and I didn't like the struggle, strife it caused. So I do
what I can, and do ask for help, my oldest empties the dishwasher when things get hectic.
She always has the right to say no, and does. The other two like laundry so they help when
they want to also. My ? is it against unschooling, or just bad practice, to offer to pay her for
jobs that I don't have time for? Thanks for your ideas and advice. Melanie in Vt
husband was brought up with strict rules about chores, but he never did them, and resented
he parents b/c of it. I grew up a bit differently, 4 kids, 2 adults, we each took turns washing
the dishes(i hated it), but on Sat. all the chores were thrown in a hat and everyone choose
two. You got whatever, and if someone was willing to trade, you did. My mom and dad both
worked full time, and we were willing to help, our house was never spotless(far from it) but
we were happy in it. The Sandra Dodd web site has a section on chores, reading all of it has
helped me. We had chores for our kids, and I didn't like the struggle, strife it caused. So I do
what I can, and do ask for help, my oldest empties the dishwasher when things get hectic.
She always has the right to say no, and does. The other two like laundry so they help when
they want to also. My ? is it against unschooling, or just bad practice, to offer to pay her for
jobs that I don't have time for? Thanks for your ideas and advice. Melanie in Vt
Ren Allen
"is it against unschooling, or just bad practice, to
offer to pay her for
jobs that I don't have time for? "
Not at all! Unless she doesn't have a choice.:)
You'd pay a stranger right? So why not offer it to your family members
first?
We both work in our home. I usually had a very flexible, low hours
schedule, but now I'm full time again. Dh and I work it around each
other, but today my oldest is in charge.
I ask them to just keep things from getting hectic so their Dad won't
feel overwhelmed. They're really agreeable to that. When I'm home, I
rarely ask for any help (but I have a dh that helps a lot) so it's not
a big deal to them on the occasional day I need a bit extra.
Extra just means rinsing dishes and not doing the messy stuff at the
kitchen table. They have an art area, with free access to everything,
so there's plenty of area for messy stuff if they need it.
We don't have chores, but we have helpful, sweet kids. I'd rather have
that than resentment. Therefore, everyone has a voice in what happens
around here.
Ren
learninginfreedom.com
offer to pay her for
jobs that I don't have time for? "
Not at all! Unless she doesn't have a choice.:)
You'd pay a stranger right? So why not offer it to your family members
first?
We both work in our home. I usually had a very flexible, low hours
schedule, but now I'm full time again. Dh and I work it around each
other, but today my oldest is in charge.
I ask them to just keep things from getting hectic so their Dad won't
feel overwhelmed. They're really agreeable to that. When I'm home, I
rarely ask for any help (but I have a dh that helps a lot) so it's not
a big deal to them on the occasional day I need a bit extra.
Extra just means rinsing dishes and not doing the messy stuff at the
kitchen table. They have an art area, with free access to everything,
so there's plenty of area for messy stuff if they need it.
We don't have chores, but we have helpful, sweet kids. I'd rather have
that than resentment. Therefore, everyone has a voice in what happens
around here.
Ren
learninginfreedom.com
April Morris
Interestingly enough, back when we had chores and a bona fide chore chart,
our house was messier and I got less help then I do now. Mind you, housework
is pretty low on my list of things to do, there is always at least half a
dozen things I'd rather be doing. So implementing chores won't always solve
the messy house problem. I do get more willing help now when asked for and
often, when needed but not asked for. One of my girls likes to clean (must
have been the genes from my mother-in-law, it sure didn't' come from me!)
and pretty much has taken over keeping the kitchen clean. The only down side
is I get in trouble if I don't put stuff away or if I leave a mess! :) We
try to respect each other's needs though. Since a clean kitchen is important
to Lisa, we all try to clean up after ourselves. And even though I never
made my kids clean their rooms, the girls' each keep their rooms spotless.
My only problem at the moment, and maybe someone can give some suggestions,
is the boys' room. It's pretty messy and disorganized at the moment.
Overwhelming to them. I don't have a problem with cleaning their room or
helping them...it's just that it's really overwhelming to me as well. I know
I just need to go in and start....but it's going to be tough for me.
~April
Mom to Kate-19, Lisa-17, Karl-14, & Ben-10.
*REACH Homeschool Grp, an inclusive group in Oakland County
http://www.reachhomeschool.com
* Michigan Unschoolers
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/michigan_unschoolers/
*Check out Chuck's art www.artkunst23.com
"All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given to us."
Gandalf the Grey
our house was messier and I got less help then I do now. Mind you, housework
is pretty low on my list of things to do, there is always at least half a
dozen things I'd rather be doing. So implementing chores won't always solve
the messy house problem. I do get more willing help now when asked for and
often, when needed but not asked for. One of my girls likes to clean (must
have been the genes from my mother-in-law, it sure didn't' come from me!)
and pretty much has taken over keeping the kitchen clean. The only down side
is I get in trouble if I don't put stuff away or if I leave a mess! :) We
try to respect each other's needs though. Since a clean kitchen is important
to Lisa, we all try to clean up after ourselves. And even though I never
made my kids clean their rooms, the girls' each keep their rooms spotless.
My only problem at the moment, and maybe someone can give some suggestions,
is the boys' room. It's pretty messy and disorganized at the moment.
Overwhelming to them. I don't have a problem with cleaning their room or
helping them...it's just that it's really overwhelming to me as well. I know
I just need to go in and start....but it's going to be tough for me.
~April
Mom to Kate-19, Lisa-17, Karl-14, & Ben-10.
*REACH Homeschool Grp, an inclusive group in Oakland County
http://www.reachhomeschool.com
* Michigan Unschoolers
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/michigan_unschoolers/
*Check out Chuck's art www.artkunst23.com
"All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given to us."
Gandalf the Grey
On 3/16/06, Ren Allen <starsuncloud@...> wrote:
>
> "is it against unschooling, or just bad practice, to
> offer to pay her for
> jobs that I don't have time for? "
>
> Not at all! Unless she doesn't have a choice.:)
> You'd pay a stranger right? So why not offer it to your family members
> first?
>
> We both work in our home. I usually had a very flexible, low hours
> schedule, but now I'm full time again. Dh and I work it around each
> other, but today my oldest is in charge.
> I ask them to just keep things from getting hectic so their Dad won't
> feel overwhelmed. They're really agreeable to that. When I'm home, I
> rarely ask for any help (but I have a dh that helps a lot) so it's not
> a big deal to them on the occasional day I need a bit extra.
>
> Extra just means rinsing dishes and not doing the messy stuff at the
> kitchen table. They have an art area, with free access to everything,
> so there's plenty of area for messy stuff if they need it.
>
> We don't have chores, but we have helpful, sweet kids. I'd rather have
> that than resentment. Therefore, everyone has a voice in what happens
> around here.
>
> Ren
> learninginfreedom.com
>
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Deb
--- In [email protected], "April Morris" <klkb624@...>
wrote:
several colors)...get 3 or 4 (or more) of them and set them in the
midst of the room. Then toss clean clothing in one, dirty clothing in
another, boy 1's stuff in the third, boy 2's stuff in the 4th (and so
on for more boys). Everything goes in a basket...unless someone knows
exactly where an item goes and goes ahead and puts it there instead of
the basket. By the time the baskets are full, you should have at least
a small amount of floor space visible (Lol). Take the dirty laundry
basket out to the laundry area. Then tackle the remaining baskets -
pick one and start putting stuff away. The good part of this is that
if you get through only half the clean laundry basket and that's it,
you've still got some little bit of organization going like a little
yeast growing...next time you get a bit of time to clean, start with
the basket you left off with. And so on. In the meantime, between
cleaning bursts, stuff can just get tossed into the baskets and be out
of the way. And when a basket is empty, it folds up and stores
compactly until it is needed again (if indeed any of the baskets ever
get emptied, ours tend to get emptier and fuller but not usually
totally empty). And the basket that carried the dirty laundry down is
the same one it can go back up to their room in. Again, if it doesn't
get put away immediately, at least it's contained. For actual storage,
we have lots of clear plastic bins with lids (so they can stack) and
we label each with the intended contents: one is Vehicles for
instance - any toy that rolls, flies, etc goes in there. Another is
for People (all those action figures). And so on. Legos have their own
multiple bins in a separate location (down in the basement closet
because that's where DH and DS build their Lego BrikWars scenarios).
Thomas trains and tracks have their own bin. And we have a couple
larger Rubbermaid type bins (big ones) for general jumble - those get
a going through once or twice a year to toss broken stuff, give away
outgrown/outdated stuff, and sort back into circulation things like
cars and people that just got tossed in there for a quick tidy.
Hope this helps trigger some ideas
--Deb
wrote:
> My only problem at the moment, and maybe someone can give someCollapsible, mesh, laundry baskets (fairly inexpensive, come in
>suggestions,
> is the boys' room. It's pretty messy and disorganized at the >moment.
> Overwhelming to them. I don't have a problem with cleaning their
>room or
> helping them...it's just that it's really overwhelming to me as
>well. I know
> I just need to go in and start....but it's going to be tough for me.
>
> ~April
>
several colors)...get 3 or 4 (or more) of them and set them in the
midst of the room. Then toss clean clothing in one, dirty clothing in
another, boy 1's stuff in the third, boy 2's stuff in the 4th (and so
on for more boys). Everything goes in a basket...unless someone knows
exactly where an item goes and goes ahead and puts it there instead of
the basket. By the time the baskets are full, you should have at least
a small amount of floor space visible (Lol). Take the dirty laundry
basket out to the laundry area. Then tackle the remaining baskets -
pick one and start putting stuff away. The good part of this is that
if you get through only half the clean laundry basket and that's it,
you've still got some little bit of organization going like a little
yeast growing...next time you get a bit of time to clean, start with
the basket you left off with. And so on. In the meantime, between
cleaning bursts, stuff can just get tossed into the baskets and be out
of the way. And when a basket is empty, it folds up and stores
compactly until it is needed again (if indeed any of the baskets ever
get emptied, ours tend to get emptier and fuller but not usually
totally empty). And the basket that carried the dirty laundry down is
the same one it can go back up to their room in. Again, if it doesn't
get put away immediately, at least it's contained. For actual storage,
we have lots of clear plastic bins with lids (so they can stack) and
we label each with the intended contents: one is Vehicles for
instance - any toy that rolls, flies, etc goes in there. Another is
for People (all those action figures). And so on. Legos have their own
multiple bins in a separate location (down in the basement closet
because that's where DH and DS build their Lego BrikWars scenarios).
Thomas trains and tracks have their own bin. And we have a couple
larger Rubbermaid type bins (big ones) for general jumble - those get
a going through once or twice a year to toss broken stuff, give away
outgrown/outdated stuff, and sort back into circulation things like
cars and people that just got tossed in there for a quick tidy.
Hope this helps trigger some ideas
--Deb
[email protected]
In a message dated 3/16/2006 7:59:35 A.M. Eastern Standard Time,
us5@... writes:
<<The Sandra Dodd web site has a section on chores, reading all of it has
helped me. >>
Here is the link..
_http://sandradodd.com/chores_ (http://sandradodd.com/chores)
Laura
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
us5@... writes:
<<The Sandra Dodd web site has a section on chores, reading all of it has
helped me. >>
Here is the link..
_http://sandradodd.com/chores_ (http://sandradodd.com/chores)
Laura
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Melissa
Do they have lots of organizing bins to just stick stuff in? I only
ask because Josh has always been one to collect things. Anything and
everything really, he still has crafts from four yo. So we gave him
the big dresser we had, which has six drawers...that with his desk
that has four drawers, and he has five drawers all together that just
stores stuff. He's really attached to everything as well, so it's not
just a matter of getting rid of things.
One thing I've been thinking about doing for the girls is to get
those cheap cardboard three drawer storage things, cheap, but
provides lots of storage.
Melissa
Mom to Josh (11), Breanna (8), Emily (7), Rachel (6), Sam (4), Dan
(2), and Avari Rose
ask because Josh has always been one to collect things. Anything and
everything really, he still has crafts from four yo. So we gave him
the big dresser we had, which has six drawers...that with his desk
that has four drawers, and he has five drawers all together that just
stores stuff. He's really attached to everything as well, so it's not
just a matter of getting rid of things.
One thing I've been thinking about doing for the girls is to get
those cheap cardboard three drawer storage things, cheap, but
provides lots of storage.
Melissa
Mom to Josh (11), Breanna (8), Emily (7), Rachel (6), Sam (4), Dan
(2), and Avari Rose
On Mar 16, 2006, at 7:47 AM, April Morris wrote:
>
> My only problem at the moment, and maybe someone can give some
> suggestions,
> is the boys' room. It's pretty messy and disorganized at the moment.
> Overwhelming to them. I don't have a problem with cleaning their
> room or
> helping them...it's just that it's really overwhelming to me as
> well. I know
> I just need to go in and start....but it's going to be tough for me.
[email protected]
<<to offer to pay her for jobs I don't have time for?>>
Of course....if you are really hiring her versus using money to coerce her. I have all kinds of deals going with my kids all the time. I have even paid them for their time if I REALLY wanted to do something that I thought was fun and they thought was boring but they needed to be with me for whatever reason.
Julie S.
Of course....if you are really hiring her versus using money to coerce her. I have all kinds of deals going with my kids all the time. I have even paid them for their time if I REALLY wanted to do something that I thought was fun and they thought was boring but they needed to be with me for whatever reason.
Julie S.
----- Original Message -----
From: Melanie Ilsley <us5@...>
Date: Thursday, March 16, 2006 6:59 am
Subject: [unschoolingbasics] chores
> It is so funny that this came up, it is something that in our
> family we have struggled with. My
> husband was brought up with strict rules about chores, but he
> never did them, and resented
> he parents b/c of it. I grew up a bit differently, 4 kids, 2
> adults, we each took turns washing
> the dishes(i hated it), but on Sat. all the chores were thrown in
> a hat and everyone choose
> two. You got whatever, and if someone was willing to trade, you
> did. My mom and dad both
> worked full time, and we were willing to help, our house was never
> spotless(far from it) but
> we were happy in it. The Sandra Dodd web site has a section on
> chores, reading all of it has
> helped me. We had chores for our kids, and I didn't like the
> struggle, strife it caused. So I do
> what I can, and do ask for help, my oldest empties the dishwasher
> when things get hectic.
> She always has the right to say no, and does. The other two like
> laundry so they help when
> they want to also. My ? is it against unschooling, or just bad
> practice, to offer to pay her for
> jobs that I don't have time for? Thanks for your ideas and
> advice. Melanie in Vt
>
>
>
>
>
>
> Yahoo! Groups Links
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
drusila00
I know I am not the person you asked but here are a few of the things
my son uses to stay organised.
Shoeboxes on shelves
Plastic tubs
Backpacks in the closet (he has a special one with his skate pads ect)
Little plastic containers from toys (bionical containers)
the orange juice caraffes are great to display colections of rocks
marbels ect.
We save a lot of containers from other items when he is collecting
things.
Goodluck!
--- In [email protected], Melissa <autismhelp@...>
wrote:
my son uses to stay organised.
Shoeboxes on shelves
Plastic tubs
Backpacks in the closet (he has a special one with his skate pads ect)
Little plastic containers from toys (bionical containers)
the orange juice caraffes are great to display colections of rocks
marbels ect.
We save a lot of containers from other items when he is collecting
things.
Goodluck!
--- In [email protected], Melissa <autismhelp@...>
wrote:
>and
> Do they have lots of organizing bins to just stick stuff in? I only
> ask because Josh has always been one to collect things. Anything
> everything really, he still has crafts from four yo. So we gave himjust
> the big dresser we had, which has six drawers...that with his desk
> that has four drawers, and he has five drawers all together that
> stores stuff. He's really attached to everything as well, so it'snot
> just a matter of getting rid of things.
Paige
> "is it against unschooling, or just bad practice, toMy older dd comes to me asking for jobs she can do for money. She
> offer to pay her for
> jobs that I don't have time for? "
went into my bedroom the other day, and came out asking, "How much
money will you give me to make your bed?" lol
Paige
[email protected]
>>My only problem at the moment, and maybe someone can give some suggestions,is the boys' room. It's pretty messy and disorganized at the moment.
Overwhelming to them. I don't have a problem with cleaning their room or
helping them...it's just that it's really overwhelming to me as well.>>
It may help to break it down into little jobs rather than look at it as one big mess. Set a timer for 15 minutes and head in there with a specific goal in mind. So the first time you'll go in and put away books and toys for 15 minutes. Stop when the timer goes off whether you're done or not. Next time pick up laundry and put away clothes for 15 minutes. Keep doing this as often as you feel the urge. Eventually the mess gets cleaned up. The trick is to limit yourself to the 15 minutes so that you know the job won't last forever.
--
~Mary
"The miracle is not to walk on water. The miracle is to walk on the
green earth, dwelling deeply in the present moment and feeling truly
alive."
~Thich Nhat Hanh
-------------- Original message ----------------------
From: "April Morris" <klkb624@...>
Melanie Ilsley
-Laura, thanks for posting the link, I am still not sure of the whole computer thing, and didn't
know how...thanks Melanie in Vt-- In [email protected], HMSL2@...
wrote:
know how...thanks Melanie in Vt-- In [email protected], HMSL2@...
wrote:
>
> In a message dated 3/16/2006 7:59:35 A.M. Eastern Standard Time,
> us5@... writes:
>
> <<The Sandra Dodd web site has a section on chores, reading all of it has
> helped me. >>
> Here is the link..
>
> _http://sandradodd.com/chores_ (http://sandradodd.com/chores)
>
> Laura
>
>
> [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>
Melanie Ilsley
--that is so funny Paige. Thanks everyone for answering, i was feeling guilt. Lily(and Grace
and Emmett) always have the option to say no to chores, just like no to a topic of interest to
me, or food. Any way thanks, i always enjoy reading the posts. Melanie in Vt In
[email protected], "Paige" <paigehughes1972@...> wrote:
and Emmett) always have the option to say no to chores, just like no to a topic of interest to
me, or food. Any way thanks, i always enjoy reading the posts. Melanie in Vt In
[email protected], "Paige" <paigehughes1972@...> wrote:
>
> > "is it against unschooling, or just bad practice, to
> > offer to pay her for
> > jobs that I don't have time for? "
>
> My older dd comes to me asking for jobs she can do for money. She
> went into my bedroom the other day, and came out asking, "How much
> money will you give me to make your bed?" lol
> Paige
>