frozenandcold

The following is from a book I am reading called French
Impressions. It just warmed my heart and I am sure it will yours
too! I am sorry for the length, it was just SO good!!

This woman was feeling very overwhelmed by all the chores and her
children so her husband hired a helper for her. The kids were doing
so well while in her care that she wondered what this other lady was
doing right..................

<<<<<<<<<<Then, using my newfound skulking and lurking skills, I
began coming home unexpectedly sneaking in the door, and giving John
[the oldest sone] the third degree. And suddenly a whole world of
child psychology opened up before me.

How did she keep Stephen from his favorite tricks of turning on the
gas stove, eating or destroying anything within reach, teetering
from high places, and breaking bottles? Elise told him not to, as I
did , but when he continued, she didn't spank or scold him. She
picked him up, hugged him, and hugged him, and smothered him with
kisses. She told him he was a perfect treasure, a little chicken, a
little cabbage, and that she loved him. Then she set him down
again, and as John declared, "It really works!"

And work it did. Before my disbelieving eyes, Elise was actually
loving him out of being disobedient. She sang songs to him about
himself and told him stories in which he always turned out to be the
central character.

From the time she arrived until she sang him to sleep at night, a
stream of flattery, praise, and affection poured over him. No
matter how naughty the act (and there were many), no matter how
obstinate he grew, or how violent his temper tantrums, Elise would
brush back her salt-and-pepper hair, twinkle at him with her dark
eyes, and maintain an iron calm.

As I got to know her better, I learned of her past life and wondered
at her happy nature. She had lived through two world wars in
embattled France, and her life had been hard and joyless. But her
cheerful nature dismissed these hardships. She summed up the bad
years with "It's finished now."

And that was her attitude toward the children's misdeeds. Once it
was over, "it was finished," and she would smile at the funny things
they did next. She constantly showed them things to be happy about
and divided her attentions equally when she was with both boys and
taught them to respect and love each other.

She talked always of the boys' best characteristics and ignored
their bad ones. When I explained to her that I had not been able to
train Stephen to stay dry during the day, she looked surprised. Not
at him, but at me.

Toilet training is not something southern French parents thing much
about. Their superior, if unhygienic, method is not to put pants on
kids until they have reached an age when they can "inidicate what is
desired." ..........................................................
..............................

When Stephen was in my care, I adopted Elise's tactics and found
that they worked, even for me. The Mr.Hyde in him receded to a
manageable degree, and wonder of wonders, he began to sleep through
the night occasionally.
.....................................................................
.....................

For what I had left out of my calculations on child rearing was a
prime ingredient-not just love but absolute and unqualified love.
Sure, it takes common sense and luck to raise a child, but Elise
taught me the greatest lesson of all. No child can long withstand
the furious and unstoppable onslaught of The Love Treatment.>>>>>>>>>

Heidi

S Drag-teine

Is this a fiction or non-fiction book?

Shannon

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-----Original Message-----
From: unschoolingbasics@yahoogroups.com
[mailto:unschoolingbasics@yahoogroups.com] On Behalf Of frozenandcold
Sent: Saturday, February 04, 2006 5:39 PM
To: unschoolingbasics@yahoogroups.com
Subject: [unschoolingbasics] you have to read this

The following is from a book I am reading called French
Impressions. It just warmed my heart and I am sure it will yours
too! I am sorry for the length, it was just SO good!!

This woman was feeling very overwhelmed by all the chores and her
children so her husband hired a helper for her. The kids were doing
so well while in her care that she wondered what this other lady was
doing right..................

<<<<<<<<<<Then, using my newfound skulking and lurking skills, I
began coming home unexpectedly sneaking in the door, and giving John
[the oldest sone] the third degree. And suddenly a whole world of
child psychology opened up before me.

How did she keep Stephen from his favorite tricks of turning on the
gas stove, eating or destroying anything within reach, teetering
from high places, and breaking bottles? Elise told him not to, as I
did , but when he continued, she didn't spank or scold him. She
picked him up, hugged him, and hugged him, and smothered him with
kisses. She told him he was a perfect treasure, a little chicken, a
little cabbage, and that she loved him. Then she set him down
again, and as John declared, "It really works!"

And work it did. Before my disbelieving eyes, Elise was actually
loving him out of being disobedient. She sang songs to him about
himself and told him stories in which he always turned out to be the
central character.

From the time she arrived until she sang him to sleep at night, a
stream of flattery, praise, and affection poured over him. No
matter how naughty the act (and there were many), no matter how
obstinate he grew, or how violent his temper tantrums, Elise would
brush back her salt-and-pepper hair, twinkle at him with her dark
eyes, and maintain an iron calm.

As I got to know her better, I learned of her past life and wondered
at her happy nature. She had lived through two world wars in
embattled France, and her life had been hard and joyless. But her
cheerful nature dismissed these hardships. She summed up the bad
years with "It's finished now."

And that was her attitude toward the children's misdeeds. Once it
was over, "it was finished," and she would smile at the funny things
they did next. She constantly showed them things to be happy about
and divided her attentions equally when she was with both boys and
taught them to respect and love each other.

She talked always of the boys' best characteristics and ignored
their bad ones. When I explained to her that I had not been able to
train Stephen to stay dry during the day, she looked surprised. Not
at him, but at me.

Toilet training is not something southern French parents thing much
about. Their superior, if unhygienic, method is not to put pants on
kids until they have reached an age when they can "inidicate what is
desired." ..........................................................
..............................

When Stephen was in my care, I adopted Elise's tactics and found
that they worked, even for me. The Mr.Hyde in him receded to a
manageable degree, and wonder of wonders, he began to sleep through
the night occasionally.
.....................................................................
.....................

For what I had left out of my calculations on child rearing was a
prime ingredient-not just love but absolute and unqualified love.
Sure, it takes common sense and luck to raise a child, but Elise
taught me the greatest lesson of all. No child can long withstand
the furious and unstoppable onslaught of The Love Treatment.>>>>>>>>>

Heidi







Yahoo! Groups Links

barndogzzz@wmconnect.com

Awe, who cares about the length Heidi, it certainly did warm my heart too!
I don't think anyone could argue with any of Elise's tactics could they!
Thanks for sharing it with us, I thoroughly enjoyed it. I wonder what the world
would be like today if everyone had an upbringing like that. Made me want to go
out and find the book!

Nancy


[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

frozenandcold

<<<<<Is this a fiction or non-fiction book?>>>>>>

It is a story written about a family that lived in France for one year
back in the 1950's, which makes that excerpt even more remarkable.
The story was written by the little boy in the book, John Littell. He
wrote the book from his mother's journals so it is a true story but I
am sure he has added a bit here and there based on what he thought his
mom was feeling or talking about. It was written from his mother's
perspective. It is a really good book and there is quite a bit of
humor in it. Again, it is called "French Impressions".

Heidi