brushing teeth
Sherri-Lee Pressman
Hi there,
On my journey to discover the depths of unschooling, I heard lots about bedtimes, food and choices. And now I wonder about this... what do you do about the job of brushing teeth? Do your children decide for themselves if they are going to brush their teeth now, ever, at all? How do you handle this? If they don't and end up with cavities, do they pay for their own dental work? or do you?
I have a 4 year old, who rarely lets me brush her teeth, I have refused to get into a physical battle over teeth brushing in the evenings so have let her do her own.. she does a crappy job... chomps on the brush and very rarely lets me brush them for her. I tried all the fun games and for awhile the Winnie the Pooh characters lived in her mouth and had to be brushed out, this worked but didn't last for ever. So I know these are baby teeth and we wouldn't do any dental work unless it was causing her pain, she is completely horrified at the idea of seeing a dentist. So I try to explain to her the importance of brushing... I brush mine at the same time as her as well... and she responds... she just won't get any cavities (logic of a 4 year for you) so in an unschooling philosophy would you just leave it at that or would you (seeing as you know she will get cavities) be more forceful.
Please notice I said *more* forceful. I am not going to get in the situation where one parent is holding her down and the other brushes her teeth even with her screaming etc... like some parents I know do... but how would you experienced unschoolers handle this?
Thanks,
Sherri-Lee
Looking for safe and natural health products?
http://www.aloeessence.com
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
On my journey to discover the depths of unschooling, I heard lots about bedtimes, food and choices. And now I wonder about this... what do you do about the job of brushing teeth? Do your children decide for themselves if they are going to brush their teeth now, ever, at all? How do you handle this? If they don't and end up with cavities, do they pay for their own dental work? or do you?
I have a 4 year old, who rarely lets me brush her teeth, I have refused to get into a physical battle over teeth brushing in the evenings so have let her do her own.. she does a crappy job... chomps on the brush and very rarely lets me brush them for her. I tried all the fun games and for awhile the Winnie the Pooh characters lived in her mouth and had to be brushed out, this worked but didn't last for ever. So I know these are baby teeth and we wouldn't do any dental work unless it was causing her pain, she is completely horrified at the idea of seeing a dentist. So I try to explain to her the importance of brushing... I brush mine at the same time as her as well... and she responds... she just won't get any cavities (logic of a 4 year for you) so in an unschooling philosophy would you just leave it at that or would you (seeing as you know she will get cavities) be more forceful.
Please notice I said *more* forceful. I am not going to get in the situation where one parent is holding her down and the other brushes her teeth even with her screaming etc... like some parents I know do... but how would you experienced unschoolers handle this?
Thanks,
Sherri-Lee
Looking for safe and natural health products?
http://www.aloeessence.com
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
pam sorooshian
Sherri you just cracked me up!!! <G>
In your previous post you wanted to get away from discussion of
bedtimes and all that - but in this one you jumped right into the big
"toothbrushing question"!!! <BEG>
That's how these topics get started - unschooling does get those
"question everything" juices flowing, doesn't it?
-pam
In your previous post you wanted to get away from discussion of
bedtimes and all that - but in this one you jumped right into the big
"toothbrushing question"!!! <BEG>
That's how these topics get started - unschooling does get those
"question everything" juices flowing, doesn't it?
-pam
On Jun 24, 2004, at 11:06 AM, Sherri-Lee Pressman wrote:
> On my journey to discover the depths of unschooling, I heard lots
> about bedtimes, food and choices. And now I wonder about this... what
> do you do about the job of brushing teeth?
National Home Education Network
<www.NHEN.org>
Serving the entire homeschooling community since 1999
through information, networking and public relations.
Fetteroll
on 6/24/04 2:06 PM, Sherri-Lee Pressman at sherri--lee@... wrote:
help them be safe and healthy. But they don't want us to tie them down and
make them do what we think they should either.
I've always brushed my teeth with my daughter. It's a social time. I
remember as a child the 3 minutes it took feeling like 30.
You can try no toothpaste. The brushing is more important than the paste.
You can let it go for a while and just give them information so they can
make better decisions. Tell them what brushing does. Get a kids book on it.
And then invite them to brush with you. You can let them know you're
concerned that if they aren't in the habit of brushing regularly that they
could get cavities. But don't say it in a shaming way that tells them
they're making the wrong decision, that you can't wait until they wise up
and make the right decision. It's information. It's sharing your concern.
Joyce
> Do your children decide for themselves if they are going to brush their teethWell kids don't want cavities regardless of their actions. They want us to
> now, ever, at all? How do you handle this? If they don't and end up with
> cavities, do they pay for their own dental work? or do you?
help them be safe and healthy. But they don't want us to tie them down and
make them do what we think they should either.
I've always brushed my teeth with my daughter. It's a social time. I
remember as a child the 3 minutes it took feeling like 30.
You can try no toothpaste. The brushing is more important than the paste.
You can let it go for a while and just give them information so they can
make better decisions. Tell them what brushing does. Get a kids book on it.
And then invite them to brush with you. You can let them know you're
concerned that if they aren't in the habit of brushing regularly that they
could get cavities. But don't say it in a shaming way that tells them
they're making the wrong decision, that you can't wait until they wise up
and make the right decision. It's information. It's sharing your concern.
Joyce
[email protected]
I once witnessed a non-unschooler telling her little girl that there were
sugar bugs on her teeth and that they had to be brushed off. That little girl
must have brushed for 4 or 5 mins before her mom convinced her that she had
them all off!
Have you found a dentist for her yet? We have one that is WONDERFUL!
My 6ds loves to go, get cleanings, and he did have work done, which was almost
a mistake, because he enjoyed it so much he isn't too worried about more
cavities. (backfire!)
But our dentist advertises as using gentle dentistry and it made a world
of difference between them going now and what I had to go thru as a kid.
What about the battery operated brush's?
My oldest was rushing thru brushing his teeth, and after looking at them in
the daylight and seeing whta was on there, (ok, now this is gross) I scraped
alittle off with my finger nail (yes, he said go ahead) and he saw what was on
his teeth. He now does a much better job. But he's 11 now and I know
there's a world of difference in how they take care of things at different ages!
good luck
syndi
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
sugar bugs on her teeth and that they had to be brushed off. That little girl
must have brushed for 4 or 5 mins before her mom convinced her that she had
them all off!
Have you found a dentist for her yet? We have one that is WONDERFUL!
My 6ds loves to go, get cleanings, and he did have work done, which was almost
a mistake, because he enjoyed it so much he isn't too worried about more
cavities. (backfire!)
But our dentist advertises as using gentle dentistry and it made a world
of difference between them going now and what I had to go thru as a kid.
What about the battery operated brush's?
My oldest was rushing thru brushing his teeth, and after looking at them in
the daylight and seeing whta was on there, (ok, now this is gross) I scraped
alittle off with my finger nail (yes, he said go ahead) and he saw what was on
his teeth. He now does a much better job. But he's 11 now and I know
there's a world of difference in how they take care of things at different ages!
good luck
syndi
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
christy_imnotred
My son is 4 and a half and about 6 months ago I explained to him how
cavities were formed, in full scientific detail. Since then he has
been very good about brushing. He is also really into microbes and
really understood what I was explaining to him. There has to be some
kids book that explains how cavities are formed?
If she won't let you brush, will she let you rub a cloth over her
teeth? I know this was discussed, I think at unschooling.com message
boards. Someone said as long as you disrupt the bacteria once a day
that is usually sufficient to avoid cavities. She can also try
eating certain foods at night, I think carrots are good at helping
get the bacteria off. I can't remember all the suggestions, but you
can try searching the archives at unschooling.com.
Christy
cavities were formed, in full scientific detail. Since then he has
been very good about brushing. He is also really into microbes and
really understood what I was explaining to him. There has to be some
kids book that explains how cavities are formed?
If she won't let you brush, will she let you rub a cloth over her
teeth? I know this was discussed, I think at unschooling.com message
boards. Someone said as long as you disrupt the bacteria once a day
that is usually sufficient to avoid cavities. She can also try
eating certain foods at night, I think carrots are good at helping
get the bacteria off. I can't remember all the suggestions, but you
can try searching the archives at unschooling.com.
Christy
Sherri-Lee Pressman
Hi Pam....
Well as a Scorpio/Cat I ask a lot of questions and am often (most of the time?) conflicted.
So I just sort of thought, for me, that the bedtime thing was starting to be less productive as peoples personal belief were becoming more and more challenged that doesn't mean another hot topic isn't interesting.
And it is personal to me right now.... as I said... and I am really thinking about how to handle it so thought I would ask because it is something I haven't seen mentioned. I mean when you say "unschooling" food and bedtimes are almost automatically included, but there are several other things that might give some of us new people a bit more insight instead of running around the same bush over and over, if that makes sense?
So I am inclined to honour her wishes and just let it be.... she does willingly rinse with ozonated water each evening, so I know that the bad bacteria that cause cavities are being eliminated on the surface at least. BUT if she needs to go to the dentist, I know how much of a traumatic event this will be for her, from history and it is an additional expense that my dh and I will have to absorb. So the inclination is, unless you can pay for the dental work yourself you will brush your teeth as I say.. however I hate that. But when we are working out strategies for these things, isn't things like consequences (financial in this case) as well as future emotional trauma to be considered? And when she say "oh I won't get one mama" like she can will it to not happen, how do you honour that and let it going knowing what the probability is?
SO there you go.... have fun and be gentle with me:)
Sherri-Lee
Looking for safe and natural health products?
http://www.aloeessence.com
Well as a Scorpio/Cat I ask a lot of questions and am often (most of the time?) conflicted.
So I just sort of thought, for me, that the bedtime thing was starting to be less productive as peoples personal belief were becoming more and more challenged that doesn't mean another hot topic isn't interesting.
And it is personal to me right now.... as I said... and I am really thinking about how to handle it so thought I would ask because it is something I haven't seen mentioned. I mean when you say "unschooling" food and bedtimes are almost automatically included, but there are several other things that might give some of us new people a bit more insight instead of running around the same bush over and over, if that makes sense?
So I am inclined to honour her wishes and just let it be.... she does willingly rinse with ozonated water each evening, so I know that the bad bacteria that cause cavities are being eliminated on the surface at least. BUT if she needs to go to the dentist, I know how much of a traumatic event this will be for her, from history and it is an additional expense that my dh and I will have to absorb. So the inclination is, unless you can pay for the dental work yourself you will brush your teeth as I say.. however I hate that. But when we are working out strategies for these things, isn't things like consequences (financial in this case) as well as future emotional trauma to be considered? And when she say "oh I won't get one mama" like she can will it to not happen, how do you honour that and let it going knowing what the probability is?
SO there you go.... have fun and be gentle with me:)
Sherri-Lee
Looking for safe and natural health products?
http://www.aloeessence.com
----- Original Message -----
From: pam sorooshian
To: [email protected]
Sent: Thursday, June 24, 2004 11:33 AM
Subject: Re: [unschoolingbasics] brushing teeth
Sherri you just cracked me up!!! <G>
In your previous post you wanted to get away from discussion of
bedtimes and all that - but in this one you jumped right into the big
"toothbrushing question"!!! <BEG>
That's how these topics get started - unschooling does get those
"question everything" juices flowing, doesn't it?
-pam
On Jun 24, 2004, at 11:06 AM, Sherri-Lee Pressman wrote:
> On my journey to discover the depths of unschooling, I heard lots
> about bedtimes, food and choices. And now I wonder about this... what
> do you do about the job of brushing teeth?
National Home Education Network
<www.NHEN.org>
Serving the entire homeschooling community since 1999
through information, networking and public relations.
Looking for safe and natural health products?
http://www.aloeessence.com
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Robyn Coburn
<<<I have a 4 year old, who rarely lets me brush her teeth, I have refused
to get into a physical battle over teeth brushing in the evenings so have
let her do her own.. she does a crappy job... chomps on the brush and very
rarely lets me brush them for her. I tried all the fun games and for awhile
the Winnie the Pooh characters lived in her mouth and had to be brushed out,
this worked but didn't last for ever. So I know these are baby teeth and we
wouldn't do any dental work unless it was causing her pain, she is
completely horrified at the idea of seeing a dentist. So I try to explain to
her the importance of brushing... I brush mine at the same time as her as
well... and she responds... she just won't get any cavities (logic of a 4
year for you) so in an unschooling philosophy would you just leave it at
that or would you (seeing as you know she will get cavities) be more
forceful.>>>
Jayn (4.5) almost never brushes her teeth. When she does, she uses only
water - I think trying toothpaste early is one of things that discouraged
her. Sometimes she brushes mine and then I brush hers, a game we enjoy -
she's really gentle. She brushes her teeth herself most times, and then I
give them an extra go. Jayn has one cavity in the first molar, which she
seems quite interested in. Her teeth came in very late (none til 12 months)
and I think she has been fortunate to inherit her father's strong teeth,
instead of my cavity prone ones. All the brushing in the world when I was
young and I still ended up with four rows of silver. Also she is still
nursing.
I invite her to brush her teeth whenever I do (which is usually twice a
day). I have talked about cavities in an honest way - "if you don't brush
your teeth they look yellow, and you *might* get more cavities". I have
talked about how they will all come out and she will get new permanent ones
that she might want to brush more. She seems to like to floss when she sees
me doing so, although of course with her milk teeth there is a lot of space
between them. We have looked at photos of bad teeth online and talked about
gum disease. She seems fascinated but doesn't see how that applies to her I
guess.
I'm not sure that inviting is helpful for Jayn, now that I think/write about
it, because most of the times that she does brush her teeth, she has out of
the blue said, "I'm going to brush my teeth" or called me to the bathroom
with "Are my teeth white and shiny?" before I knew she had gone in there.
Other children sometimes tell Jayn about their dental experiences, showing
her their horrible metal fillings. (I won't be allowing amalgam fillings,
even if I must pay more.) One child deliberately started trying to terrify
her, talking about how the dentist puts you into a big chair in the dark,
and your mommy can't be with you, and you scream. I immediately said, "That
is not the kind of dentist Jayn will go to". I don't understand these
mothers who take their child to a dentist who then takes the kid away while
the mother chit chats in the waiting room - with a RULE that mother may NOT
come to the examining room with their child - even the first time. But I
don't entrust Jayn to strangers under any circumstances.
My point is that I think that Jayn will come around to brushing her teeth
regularly - at least as regularly as Daddy, which is once per day in the
shower. I'm really hoping that the one with the cavity holds on until her
teeth come out naturally, but if she starts getting an ache, or expresses a
desire to go when I ask her, I will take her to a kindly dentist who will
move slowly and accept Jayn's need to take things at her own pace, even if I
have to pay for more of that person's time than usual.
Jayn's intention, BTW, with her lost teeth is to give them to her baby dolls
to keep for her.
Robyn L. Coburn
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to get into a physical battle over teeth brushing in the evenings so have
let her do her own.. she does a crappy job... chomps on the brush and very
rarely lets me brush them for her. I tried all the fun games and for awhile
the Winnie the Pooh characters lived in her mouth and had to be brushed out,
this worked but didn't last for ever. So I know these are baby teeth and we
wouldn't do any dental work unless it was causing her pain, she is
completely horrified at the idea of seeing a dentist. So I try to explain to
her the importance of brushing... I brush mine at the same time as her as
well... and she responds... she just won't get any cavities (logic of a 4
year for you) so in an unschooling philosophy would you just leave it at
that or would you (seeing as you know she will get cavities) be more
forceful.>>>
Jayn (4.5) almost never brushes her teeth. When she does, she uses only
water - I think trying toothpaste early is one of things that discouraged
her. Sometimes she brushes mine and then I brush hers, a game we enjoy -
she's really gentle. She brushes her teeth herself most times, and then I
give them an extra go. Jayn has one cavity in the first molar, which she
seems quite interested in. Her teeth came in very late (none til 12 months)
and I think she has been fortunate to inherit her father's strong teeth,
instead of my cavity prone ones. All the brushing in the world when I was
young and I still ended up with four rows of silver. Also she is still
nursing.
I invite her to brush her teeth whenever I do (which is usually twice a
day). I have talked about cavities in an honest way - "if you don't brush
your teeth they look yellow, and you *might* get more cavities". I have
talked about how they will all come out and she will get new permanent ones
that she might want to brush more. She seems to like to floss when she sees
me doing so, although of course with her milk teeth there is a lot of space
between them. We have looked at photos of bad teeth online and talked about
gum disease. She seems fascinated but doesn't see how that applies to her I
guess.
I'm not sure that inviting is helpful for Jayn, now that I think/write about
it, because most of the times that she does brush her teeth, she has out of
the blue said, "I'm going to brush my teeth" or called me to the bathroom
with "Are my teeth white and shiny?" before I knew she had gone in there.
Other children sometimes tell Jayn about their dental experiences, showing
her their horrible metal fillings. (I won't be allowing amalgam fillings,
even if I must pay more.) One child deliberately started trying to terrify
her, talking about how the dentist puts you into a big chair in the dark,
and your mommy can't be with you, and you scream. I immediately said, "That
is not the kind of dentist Jayn will go to". I don't understand these
mothers who take their child to a dentist who then takes the kid away while
the mother chit chats in the waiting room - with a RULE that mother may NOT
come to the examining room with their child - even the first time. But I
don't entrust Jayn to strangers under any circumstances.
My point is that I think that Jayn will come around to brushing her teeth
regularly - at least as regularly as Daddy, which is once per day in the
shower. I'm really hoping that the one with the cavity holds on until her
teeth come out naturally, but if she starts getting an ache, or expresses a
desire to go when I ask her, I will take her to a kindly dentist who will
move slowly and accept Jayn's need to take things at her own pace, even if I
have to pay for more of that person's time than usual.
Jayn's intention, BTW, with her lost teeth is to give them to her baby dolls
to keep for her.
Robyn L. Coburn
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Betsy Varga
My daughter is fourteen and she thinks it is my job to force her to brush
her teeth. I have told her that I will remind her, but she needs to make
herself do it. She has requested that I brush my teeth with her, which I am
happy to do. Looking back, I would have felt better if I had brushed my
teeth with her from the very beginning. My feeling is that if that is what
you are doing, you are doing your best. My daughter wanted us to brush her
teeth (at age 5), but we said she had to learn to do it herself. This was
foolish of me, I should have brushed them as long as she wanted me to help
her. Maybe you could just offer each night to brush her teeth and if she
declines, at least you tried. You could make it a game of some sort. There
are so many choices of tooth brushes and toothpaste, maybe you could
motivate her that way. One positive parenting book suggests that you say
"if you brush your teeth right away, I will have time to read three books to
you instead of just one". My daughter lost a baby tooth to decay and I do
not think the consequence of that really had any effect on her whatsoever.
It was quite painful, and expensive. She also had several fillings on her
baby teeth. However, I know some children that have lots of cavity's
despite the fact that they brush and floss each day. Our dentist said that
baby teeth are sometimes prone to decay, but are not an indication of what
the child's adult teeth will be like. In addition, a child's diet has a lot
to do with cavity protection. Any sugars that stick to the teeth usually do
damage within 20 minutes and no one brushes that often. My son never had
cavities and now has one on his last baby tooth. Unfortunately it may be
damaging an adult tooth that is next to it. We will not know until it falls
out. He is good at brushing his teeth, but this was an issue of not
flossing and sucking cough drops at night due to allergies. So, there are
many factors involved and you just have to do your best. When I was a child
they had us chew red tablets to show where we were not brushing very well.
It motivated me for a couple of days. Sometimes I open my mouth to show my
children my own fillings. This works as motivation some of the time.
her teeth. I have told her that I will remind her, but she needs to make
herself do it. She has requested that I brush my teeth with her, which I am
happy to do. Looking back, I would have felt better if I had brushed my
teeth with her from the very beginning. My feeling is that if that is what
you are doing, you are doing your best. My daughter wanted us to brush her
teeth (at age 5), but we said she had to learn to do it herself. This was
foolish of me, I should have brushed them as long as she wanted me to help
her. Maybe you could just offer each night to brush her teeth and if she
declines, at least you tried. You could make it a game of some sort. There
are so many choices of tooth brushes and toothpaste, maybe you could
motivate her that way. One positive parenting book suggests that you say
"if you brush your teeth right away, I will have time to read three books to
you instead of just one". My daughter lost a baby tooth to decay and I do
not think the consequence of that really had any effect on her whatsoever.
It was quite painful, and expensive. She also had several fillings on her
baby teeth. However, I know some children that have lots of cavity's
despite the fact that they brush and floss each day. Our dentist said that
baby teeth are sometimes prone to decay, but are not an indication of what
the child's adult teeth will be like. In addition, a child's diet has a lot
to do with cavity protection. Any sugars that stick to the teeth usually do
damage within 20 minutes and no one brushes that often. My son never had
cavities and now has one on his last baby tooth. Unfortunately it may be
damaging an adult tooth that is next to it. We will not know until it falls
out. He is good at brushing his teeth, but this was an issue of not
flossing and sucking cough drops at night due to allergies. So, there are
many factors involved and you just have to do your best. When I was a child
they had us chew red tablets to show where we were not brushing very well.
It motivated me for a couple of days. Sometimes I open my mouth to show my
children my own fillings. This works as motivation some of the time.
Sherri-Lee Pressman
Hi Syndi,
Not sure the "bug" thing would work right now. I have heard of this idea before suggested and liked it... but dd is having a really hard time with the idea of bugs right now, so might have to think of some other thing to make it... that might work... will see.
At this time we have no dentist for her to see..... and am not overly concerned with regular check ups either...
Thanks for the suggestions and how it works for your family,
Sherri-Lee
Looking for safe and natural health products?
http://www.aloeessence.com
Not sure the "bug" thing would work right now. I have heard of this idea before suggested and liked it... but dd is having a really hard time with the idea of bugs right now, so might have to think of some other thing to make it... that might work... will see.
At this time we have no dentist for her to see..... and am not overly concerned with regular check ups either...
Thanks for the suggestions and how it works for your family,
Sherri-Lee
Looking for safe and natural health products?
http://www.aloeessence.com
----- Original Message -----
From: Onesnotenough@...
To: [email protected]
Sent: Thursday, June 24, 2004 12:50 PM
Subject: Re: [unschoolingbasics] brushing teeth
I once witnessed a non-unschooler telling her little girl that there were
sugar bugs on her teeth and that they had to be brushed off. That little girl
must have brushed for 4 or 5 mins before her mom convinced her that she had
them all off!
Have you found a dentist for her yet? We have one that is WONDERFUL!
My 6ds loves to go, get cleanings, and he did have work done, which was almost
a mistake, because he enjoyed it so much he isn't too worried about more
cavities. (backfire!)
But our dentist advertises as using gentle dentistry and it made a world
of difference between them going now and what I had to go thru as a kid.
What about the battery operated brush's?
My oldest was rushing thru brushing his teeth, and after looking at them in
the daylight and seeing whta was on there, (ok, now this is gross) I scraped
alittle off with my finger nail (yes, he said go ahead) and he saw what was on
his teeth. He now does a much better job. But he's 11 now and I know
there's a world of difference in how they take care of things at different ages!
good luck
syndi
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Sherri-Lee Pressman
Hi Robyn,
Thanks for the post.
Dd tried toothpaste once because she asked too... didn't like it hasn't used
it again since. So it is a water and brush event. Tried letting her brush
mine, but she just is too rough and gagged me half the time.
I will try to share more info about what might happen to her teeth if she
doesn't take better care of them... but I think like yours... really does
see it as hers.. she says.."oh don't worry mommy I won't get any cavities"
as if she can will it to be that way:)
I am also so frustrated by this need in our society to scare each other.
Same thing happens with pregnant women and all the horror stories people
have to tell them... don't get me started:)
Thanks for the thoughts,
Sherri-Lee
Looking for safe and natural health products?
http://www.aloeessence.com
Thanks for the post.
Dd tried toothpaste once because she asked too... didn't like it hasn't used
it again since. So it is a water and brush event. Tried letting her brush
mine, but she just is too rough and gagged me half the time.
I will try to share more info about what might happen to her teeth if she
doesn't take better care of them... but I think like yours... really does
see it as hers.. she says.."oh don't worry mommy I won't get any cavities"
as if she can will it to be that way:)
I am also so frustrated by this need in our society to scare each other.
Same thing happens with pregnant women and all the horror stories people
have to tell them... don't get me started:)
Thanks for the thoughts,
Sherri-Lee
Looking for safe and natural health products?
http://www.aloeessence.com
----- Original Message -----
From: "Robyn Coburn" <dezigna@...>
To: <[email protected]>
Sent: Thursday, June 24, 2004 3:33 PM
Subject: RE: [unschoolingbasics] brushing teeth
> <<<I have a 4 year old, who rarely lets me brush her teeth, I have refused
> to get into a physical battle over teeth brushing in the evenings so have
> let her do her own.. she does a crappy job... chomps on the brush and very
> rarely lets me brush them for her. I tried all the fun games and for
awhile
> the Winnie the Pooh characters lived in her mouth and had to be brushed
out,
> this worked but didn't last for ever. So I know these are baby teeth and
we
> wouldn't do any dental work unless it was causing her pain, she is
> completely horrified at the idea of seeing a dentist. So I try to explain
to
> her the importance of brushing... I brush mine at the same time as her as
> well... and she responds... she just won't get any cavities (logic of a 4
> year for you) so in an unschooling philosophy would you just leave it at
> that or would you (seeing as you know she will get cavities) be more
> forceful.>>>
>
> Jayn (4.5) almost never brushes her teeth. When she does, she uses only
> water - I think trying toothpaste early is one of things that discouraged
> her. Sometimes she brushes mine and then I brush hers, a game we enjoy -
> she's really gentle. She brushes her teeth herself most times, and then I
> give them an extra go. Jayn has one cavity in the first molar, which she
> seems quite interested in. Her teeth came in very late (none til 12
months)
> and I think she has been fortunate to inherit her father's strong teeth,
> instead of my cavity prone ones. All the brushing in the world when I was
> young and I still ended up with four rows of silver. Also she is still
> nursing.
>
> I invite her to brush her teeth whenever I do (which is usually twice a
> day). I have talked about cavities in an honest way - "if you don't brush
> your teeth they look yellow, and you *might* get more cavities". I have
> talked about how they will all come out and she will get new permanent
ones
> that she might want to brush more. She seems to like to floss when she
sees
> me doing so, although of course with her milk teeth there is a lot of
space
> between them. We have looked at photos of bad teeth online and talked
about
> gum disease. She seems fascinated but doesn't see how that applies to her
I
> guess.
>
> I'm not sure that inviting is helpful for Jayn, now that I think/write
about
> it, because most of the times that she does brush her teeth, she has out
of
> the blue said, "I'm going to brush my teeth" or called me to the bathroom
> with "Are my teeth white and shiny?" before I knew she had gone in there.
>
> Other children sometimes tell Jayn about their dental experiences, showing
> her their horrible metal fillings. (I won't be allowing amalgam fillings,
> even if I must pay more.) One child deliberately started trying to terrify
> her, talking about how the dentist puts you into a big chair in the dark,
> and your mommy can't be with you, and you scream. I immediately said,
"That
> is not the kind of dentist Jayn will go to". I don't understand these
> mothers who take their child to a dentist who then takes the kid away
while
> the mother chit chats in the waiting room - with a RULE that mother may
NOT
> come to the examining room with their child - even the first time. But I
> don't entrust Jayn to strangers under any circumstances.
>
> My point is that I think that Jayn will come around to brushing her teeth
> regularly - at least as regularly as Daddy, which is once per day in the
> shower. I'm really hoping that the one with the cavity holds on until her
> teeth come out naturally, but if she starts getting an ache, or expresses
a
> desire to go when I ask her, I will take her to a kindly dentist who will
> move slowly and accept Jayn's need to take things at her own pace, even if
I
> have to pay for more of that person's time than usual.
>
> Jayn's intention, BTW, with her lost teeth is to give them to her baby
dolls
> to keep for her.
>
> Robyn L. Coburn
>
Looking for safe and natural health products?
http://www.aloeessence.com
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Sherri-Lee Pressman
WOW Betsy,
Thank you for the other perspective. And something I hope I don't get to.
I also believe that baby teeth have no indication of what the adult teeth will be like as long as I remember.
I guess I am just worried, (oh listen to this) that if she doesn't learn a good habit of doing it now she will never get it... sigh.. of course that is silly...
More trust in the world and nature huh?
Thanks,
Sherri-Lee
Looking for safe and natural health products?
http://www.aloeessence.com
Thank you for the other perspective. And something I hope I don't get to.
I also believe that baby teeth have no indication of what the adult teeth will be like as long as I remember.
I guess I am just worried, (oh listen to this) that if she doesn't learn a good habit of doing it now she will never get it... sigh.. of course that is silly...
More trust in the world and nature huh?
Thanks,
Sherri-Lee
Looking for safe and natural health products?
http://www.aloeessence.com
----- Original Message -----
From: Betsy Varga
To: [email protected]
Sent: Thursday, June 24, 2004 3:42 PM
Subject: RE: [unschoolingbasics] brushing teeth
My daughter is fourteen and she thinks it is my job to force her to brush
her teeth. I have told her that I will remind her, but she needs to make
herself do it. She has requested that I brush my teeth with her, which I am
happy to do. Looking back, I would have felt better if I had brushed my
teeth with her from the very beginning. My feeling is that if that is what
you are doing, you are doing your best. My daughter wanted us to brush her
teeth (at age 5), but we said she had to learn to do it herself. This was
foolish of me, I should have brushed them as long as she wanted me to help
her. Maybe you could just offer each night to brush her teeth and if she
declines, at least you tried. You could make it a game of some sort. There
are so many choices of tooth brushes and toothpaste, maybe you could
motivate her that way. One positive parenting book suggests that you say
"if you brush your teeth right away, I will have time to read three books to
you instead of just one". My daughter lost a baby tooth to decay and I do
not think the consequence of that really had any effect on her whatsoever.
It was quite painful, and expensive. She also had several fillings on her
baby teeth. However, I know some children that have lots of cavity's
despite the fact that they brush and floss each day. Our dentist said that
baby teeth are sometimes prone to decay, but are not an indication of what
the child's adult teeth will be like. In addition, a child's diet has a lot
to do with cavity protection. Any sugars that stick to the teeth usually do
damage within 20 minutes and no one brushes that often. My son never had
cavities and now has one on his last baby tooth. Unfortunately it may be
damaging an adult tooth that is next to it. We will not know until it falls
out. He is good at brushing his teeth, but this was an issue of not
flossing and sucking cough drops at night due to allergies. So, there are
many factors involved and you just have to do your best. When I was a child
they had us chew red tablets to show where we were not brushing very well.
It motivated me for a couple of days. Sometimes I open my mouth to show my
children my own fillings. This works as motivation some of the time.
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Sherri-Lee Pressman
Hi Christy,
I will check at unschooling.com and see what I can see.
Given what you say I am reassured then. She chews the heck out a toothbrush every night... buy about one a month.. and she rinses with ozonated water. I see some small black spots on teeth but not much I can do about that now.
Thanks again,
Sherri-Lee
Looking for safe and natural health products?
http://www.aloeessence.com
I will check at unschooling.com and see what I can see.
Given what you say I am reassured then. She chews the heck out a toothbrush every night... buy about one a month.. and she rinses with ozonated water. I see some small black spots on teeth but not much I can do about that now.
Thanks again,
Sherri-Lee
Looking for safe and natural health products?
http://www.aloeessence.com
----- Original Message -----
From: christy_imnotred
To: [email protected]
Sent: Thursday, June 24, 2004 2:27 PM
Subject: [unschoolingbasics] Re: brushing teeth
My son is 4 and a half and about 6 months ago I explained to him how
cavities were formed, in full scientific detail. Since then he has
been very good about brushing. He is also really into microbes and
really understood what I was explaining to him. There has to be some
kids book that explains how cavities are formed?
If she won't let you brush, will she let you rub a cloth over her
teeth? I know this was discussed, I think at unschooling.com message
boards. Someone said as long as you disrupt the bacteria once a day
that is usually sufficient to avoid cavities. She can also try
eating certain foods at night, I think carrots are good at helping
get the bacteria off. I can't remember all the suggestions, but you
can try searching the archives at unschooling.com.
Christy
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
[email protected]
I don't understand these
my then 5yo ds just had a tooth that had gone really bad all of a sudden (so it
seemed) and was causing him a lot of pain. I found a children's dentist as
quickly as I could. The tooth had to be pulled out but they wouldn't let me go
back with him. In hindsight I could kick myself for not putting up a fight,
but at the time I just wanted him treated as quickly as possible and I didn't
know where else to go. But we VERY quickly found someone who could recommend a
good dentist and changed. But even there with a GREAT dentist who always let
us be with him he usually freaked out when we had to go. No doubt because of
the initial visit. GRRRR. I get mad everytime I think about it, I'm not sure
who I get more mad at him or myself.
Blessings,
Jamye
> mothers who take their child to a dentist who then takes the kid away whileUggh! I was in a situation like this once. We had just moved to a new city and
> the mother chit chats in the waiting room - with a RULE that mother may NOT
> come to the examining room with their child - even the first time. But I
> don't entrust Jayn to strangers under any circumstances.
my then 5yo ds just had a tooth that had gone really bad all of a sudden (so it
seemed) and was causing him a lot of pain. I found a children's dentist as
quickly as I could. The tooth had to be pulled out but they wouldn't let me go
back with him. In hindsight I could kick myself for not putting up a fight,
but at the time I just wanted him treated as quickly as possible and I didn't
know where else to go. But we VERY quickly found someone who could recommend a
good dentist and changed. But even there with a GREAT dentist who always let
us be with him he usually freaked out when we had to go. No doubt because of
the initial visit. GRRRR. I get mad everytime I think about it, I'm not sure
who I get more mad at him or myself.
Blessings,
Jamye
Maisha Khalfani
So...it's been a very long time since I've posted anything here. And it's
funny, after years of this it always comes back to 'basics' because each
child is different.
Khidar (5) is the youngest person in a house of seven ppl. As such, he has
had to learn to assert himself and make sure that he is heard. He's
very..ummmm...fiery and is always clear on how he is feeling - especially
when he feels 'put-upon'.
Khidar absolutely refuses to brush his teeth. We've gone to the dentist and
he's has a few cavities. He does have bleeding gums whenever he does decide
to brush them, and I am concerned about his dental health. I have tried to
steer clear of forcing him to brush his teeth, but I'll admit my fears have
gotten the best of me on more than one occasion. And I have asked him why
he doesn't want to brush his teeth. His response: "so that my teeth will
fall out and my grown up teeth will come in". I asked him what that means
to him. His response "then I'll be a grown up and I'll be a daddy".
I'm thinking that he associates his baby teeth with being a baby, and thus
weak, small, and powerless. And he wants those teeth to fall out so that he
can have the grown up teeth and be powerful and big, which he clearly
believes his dad to be J
So should I just let this be a mute point? What do I do as his 'grown up'
teeth come in? (two already have). What can I do to help him be okay with
being a child? Most importantly: What I can I do to help ME be okay with
him not wanting to brush his teeth?
Maisha Khalfani
<http://7freespirits.blogspot.com/> 7 Free Spirits
Follow our adventures through life
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
funny, after years of this it always comes back to 'basics' because each
child is different.
Khidar (5) is the youngest person in a house of seven ppl. As such, he has
had to learn to assert himself and make sure that he is heard. He's
very..ummmm...fiery and is always clear on how he is feeling - especially
when he feels 'put-upon'.
Khidar absolutely refuses to brush his teeth. We've gone to the dentist and
he's has a few cavities. He does have bleeding gums whenever he does decide
to brush them, and I am concerned about his dental health. I have tried to
steer clear of forcing him to brush his teeth, but I'll admit my fears have
gotten the best of me on more than one occasion. And I have asked him why
he doesn't want to brush his teeth. His response: "so that my teeth will
fall out and my grown up teeth will come in". I asked him what that means
to him. His response "then I'll be a grown up and I'll be a daddy".
I'm thinking that he associates his baby teeth with being a baby, and thus
weak, small, and powerless. And he wants those teeth to fall out so that he
can have the grown up teeth and be powerful and big, which he clearly
believes his dad to be J
So should I just let this be a mute point? What do I do as his 'grown up'
teeth come in? (two already have). What can I do to help him be okay with
being a child? Most importantly: What I can I do to help ME be okay with
him not wanting to brush his teeth?
Maisha Khalfani
<http://7freespirits.blogspot.com/> 7 Free Spirits
Follow our adventures through life
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Joyce Fetteroll
On May 27, 2010, at 7:53 PM, Maisha Khalfani wrote:
help:
http://www.joyfullyrejoycing.com/unschooling%20in%20action/brushingteeth.html
Joyce
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
> Khidar absolutely refuses to brush his teeth.I collected a lot of teeth brushing suggestions a while ago that might
help:
http://www.joyfullyrejoycing.com/unschooling%20in%20action/brushingteeth.html
Joyce
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Maisha Khalfani
I collected a lot of teeth brushing suggestions a while ago that might
help:
http://www.joyfullyrejoycing.com/unschooling%20in%20action/brushingteeth.htm
l
Joyce
Thank you Joyce!
After realizing why Khidar didn't want to brush his teeth (wanting baby
teeth to fall out so big teeth could grow in and he could be powerful), I
understood much better. Then his dad and I were in the kitchen with him
this evening and his dad told him that even if he brushed his teeth the baby
teeth would still fall out and the grown up teeth would still grow in.
Since this information came from the person he's wanting to emulate, it
seemed to give Khidar some solace. I asked him tonight if he wanted to
brush his teeth with me and he said yes.
And if he doesn't want to do it tomorrow night..I won't freak out J He
loves apples so he can just eat as many of those as he likes instead of
brushing his teeth.
Maisha Khalfani
<http://earthspirittarot.blogspot.com/> EarthSpirit Tarot Readings
Come and gain clarity and insight
<http://earthspiritbooksandgifts.blogspot.com/> EarthSpirit Books and Gifts
A bookstore for the Open Minded
<http://7freespirits.blogspot.com/> 7 Free Spirits
Follow our adventures through life
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
help:
http://www.joyfullyrejoycing.com/unschooling%20in%20action/brushingteeth.htm
l
Joyce
Thank you Joyce!
After realizing why Khidar didn't want to brush his teeth (wanting baby
teeth to fall out so big teeth could grow in and he could be powerful), I
understood much better. Then his dad and I were in the kitchen with him
this evening and his dad told him that even if he brushed his teeth the baby
teeth would still fall out and the grown up teeth would still grow in.
Since this information came from the person he's wanting to emulate, it
seemed to give Khidar some solace. I asked him tonight if he wanted to
brush his teeth with me and he said yes.
And if he doesn't want to do it tomorrow night..I won't freak out J He
loves apples so he can just eat as many of those as he likes instead of
brushing his teeth.
Maisha Khalfani
<http://earthspirittarot.blogspot.com/> EarthSpirit Tarot Readings
Come and gain clarity and insight
<http://earthspiritbooksandgifts.blogspot.com/> EarthSpirit Books and Gifts
A bookstore for the Open Minded
<http://7freespirits.blogspot.com/> 7 Free Spirits
Follow our adventures through life
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Nicole Willoughby
I collected a lot of teeth brushing suggestions a while ago that might
help:
http://www.joyfullyrejoycing.com/unschooling%20in%20action/brushingteeth.html
Joyce>>>>>
Thanks Joyce. Right before opening this e-mail I was thinking hrmm Ive been semi-lurking here for a while and maybe we should start a file or something because this one comes up every few months. :)
If I can add one more I didn't see..
Some kids are very sensitive and just can't stand the feel of the toothbrush. Another was is suggesting that they shine their teeth by wrapping a washrag on your (or their) finer and gently rubbing the teeth and gum line.
'
Nicole
"I've seen the village, and I don't want it raising my child." - LC
help:
http://www.joyfullyrejoycing.com/unschooling%20in%20action/brushingteeth.html
Joyce>>>>>
Thanks Joyce. Right before opening this e-mail I was thinking hrmm Ive been semi-lurking here for a while and maybe we should start a file or something because this one comes up every few months. :)
If I can add one more I didn't see..
Some kids are very sensitive and just can't stand the feel of the toothbrush. Another was is suggesting that they shine their teeth by wrapping a washrag on your (or their) finer and gently rubbing the teeth and gum line.
'
Nicole
"I've seen the village, and I don't want it raising my child." - LC
--- On Thu, 5/27/10, Joyce Fetteroll <jfetteroll@...> wrote:
From: Joyce Fetteroll <jfetteroll@...>
Subject: Re: [unschoolingbasics] brushing teeth
To: [email protected]
Date: Thursday, May 27, 2010, 9:05 PM
On May 27, 2010, at 7:53 PM, Maisha Khalfani wrote:
> Khidar absolutely refuses to brush his teeth.
I collected a lot of teeth brushing suggestions a while ago that might
help:
http://www.joyfullyrejoycing.com/unschooling%20in%20action/brushingteeth.html
Joyce
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Bun
--- In [email protected], "Maisha Khalfani" <7freespirits@...> wrote:
Would he be into using a water pic or brusing with sea salt that he could crush up in a mortar and pestal and then dip his toothbrush into that. Those were two suggestions to prevent cavities (because we don't use flouride) that my holistic dentist recommended in addition to brushing and flossing. I mentioned them because it might be something different that helps and he might like to do.
Also, can he brush with Daddy? Often my son waits to brush so he can brush with Daddy.
Laurie Wolfrum
> And I have asked him why he doesn't want to brush his teeth. His response: "so that my teeth will fall out and my grown up teeth will come in". I asked him what that means to him. His response "then I'll be a grown up and I'll be a daddy".That is so sweet that he wants to be a Daddy! Have you mentioned that the grown up teeth will come in in their own good time (just like we all get older in our own good time) or that if the baby teeth fall out early from decay that it won't make the adult teeth come in any faster, they still will come in only when they are ready? Maybe explain that it helps the whole mouth and body to take care of your teeth and that one way to make a good environment for those new teeth is to start right now by taking care of the baby teeth.
Would he be into using a water pic or brusing with sea salt that he could crush up in a mortar and pestal and then dip his toothbrush into that. Those were two suggestions to prevent cavities (because we don't use flouride) that my holistic dentist recommended in addition to brushing and flossing. I mentioned them because it might be something different that helps and he might like to do.
>>I'm thinking that he associates his baby teeth with being a baby,Maybe find a new way to call "baby teeth" if he is sensitive to himself being thought of as a baby and wanting to be grown up like Daddy..maybe use "first teeth" "initial teeth" ... or even use "second set of teeth" instead of adult teeth if you think that would deemphasize the whole reference to age.
>and thus weak, small, and powerless. And he wants those teeth to
>fall out so that he can have the grown up teeth and be powerful and
> big, which he clearly believes his dad to be J
Also, can he brush with Daddy? Often my son waits to brush so he can brush with Daddy.
Laurie Wolfrum
Paul & Camille
I havent read Joyce's suggestions, but just wanted to add quickly that we
just took ds to the dentist and she said that it is as important to get
the toothpaste 'on' the teeth and to rub it around on the teeth and then
rinse if he doesnt want to brush. Perhaps if you cant get him to brush
then he may like to do this especially if he likes the flavour. For me I
would probably explain that he wont get his teeth any sooner and if he
wants his teeth big and strong like Daddys watch what Daddy does - perhaps
he can watch Dad brush - its amazing how sons respond differently to Dads
:)
Camille
just took ds to the dentist and she said that it is as important to get
the toothpaste 'on' the teeth and to rub it around on the teeth and then
rinse if he doesnt want to brush. Perhaps if you cant get him to brush
then he may like to do this especially if he likes the flavour. For me I
would probably explain that he wont get his teeth any sooner and if he
wants his teeth big and strong like Daddys watch what Daddy does - perhaps
he can watch Dad brush - its amazing how sons respond differently to Dads
:)
Camille