My own little(big)EGAD!
sam
So today is going to be candy day again. So far I've opend two pixie
stiks and one dulce de leche(hard candy, really tasty) that I actually
tried to talk Reid into giving me. I offered him doughnuts for
breakfast, the same doughnuts that he asked for at the store, and he
wanted candy and boops (Fruit Loops.)
When our oldest was much younger, we never really considered our
limits as limits. My wife and I are both cooks and have always
offered a variety of food. We've doled out "treats" when we thought
appropriate. We never had any issues with him and eating. He's
always liked a variety of food and been willing to try new stuff.
I'd read about non-limiting on unschooling boards, mostly Joyce's and
Sandra Dodd's sites. We never really considered it though thinking
that our limits on candy/sweets and tv were obviously right, and we
were at least well intentioned, as are most parents.
With some other personal changes I've been working on, I've been
saying yes to the tv and video games. Then came "I want some candy"
from my youngest followed by that sweetest of little smiles. My wife
has been a little unwilling to jump in as I have, though I've pointed
her to the sites I've been reading. She works a lot and doesn't
always have the time on the computer she would like. Neither of us
want a candy addict child, which seems the obvious outcome to allowing
candy when the child wants.
So, yesterday and now today, on the table sits as much candy as either
of them could want. My older son has picked through and eaten some
candy. My younger has almost binged on candy. I actually threw away
as much candy as he ate yesterday. He would open or ask for help
opening something, try it, then put it down. Three different
lollipops, one piece of gum, a small Hershey bar, random pieces of
random hard candy. And this doesn't even include the amount of pixie
stik I've wiped off the table that never made it to his mouth. If
nothing else, maybe I'll get some insight into his candy preferences.
And my oldest? He's at some ungodly high level on Pokemon on his
Gameboy. My only problem with the Gameboy is that he's so busy on it
that he doesn't want to play any Goldeneye with me on the Gamecube.
I do want what's best for the boys, and I see nothing but common sense
when I take the time to ponder/ruminate on a lot of the ideals behind
unschooling and the parenting ideas inherent to unschooling.
So I'm trying not to see this as an experiment. I'm not planning on
going back to how things were. But a lifetime of thinking(knowing)
you know best, all the voices of parents who have gone before, all
these things that make it difficult. And I can't help but think, what
if he really does decide to put himself on an all candy diet? I know
that won't happen. He didn't eat just candy yesterday, and I know he
won't today, but it's still hard to . . .not sure what I'm thinking
with this, just EGAD, I guess.
Oh, I just opened a huge gum ball for him.
stiks and one dulce de leche(hard candy, really tasty) that I actually
tried to talk Reid into giving me. I offered him doughnuts for
breakfast, the same doughnuts that he asked for at the store, and he
wanted candy and boops (Fruit Loops.)
When our oldest was much younger, we never really considered our
limits as limits. My wife and I are both cooks and have always
offered a variety of food. We've doled out "treats" when we thought
appropriate. We never had any issues with him and eating. He's
always liked a variety of food and been willing to try new stuff.
I'd read about non-limiting on unschooling boards, mostly Joyce's and
Sandra Dodd's sites. We never really considered it though thinking
that our limits on candy/sweets and tv were obviously right, and we
were at least well intentioned, as are most parents.
With some other personal changes I've been working on, I've been
saying yes to the tv and video games. Then came "I want some candy"
from my youngest followed by that sweetest of little smiles. My wife
has been a little unwilling to jump in as I have, though I've pointed
her to the sites I've been reading. She works a lot and doesn't
always have the time on the computer she would like. Neither of us
want a candy addict child, which seems the obvious outcome to allowing
candy when the child wants.
So, yesterday and now today, on the table sits as much candy as either
of them could want. My older son has picked through and eaten some
candy. My younger has almost binged on candy. I actually threw away
as much candy as he ate yesterday. He would open or ask for help
opening something, try it, then put it down. Three different
lollipops, one piece of gum, a small Hershey bar, random pieces of
random hard candy. And this doesn't even include the amount of pixie
stik I've wiped off the table that never made it to his mouth. If
nothing else, maybe I'll get some insight into his candy preferences.
And my oldest? He's at some ungodly high level on Pokemon on his
Gameboy. My only problem with the Gameboy is that he's so busy on it
that he doesn't want to play any Goldeneye with me on the Gamecube.
I do want what's best for the boys, and I see nothing but common sense
when I take the time to ponder/ruminate on a lot of the ideals behind
unschooling and the parenting ideas inherent to unschooling.
So I'm trying not to see this as an experiment. I'm not planning on
going back to how things were. But a lifetime of thinking(knowing)
you know best, all the voices of parents who have gone before, all
these things that make it difficult. And I can't help but think, what
if he really does decide to put himself on an all candy diet? I know
that won't happen. He didn't eat just candy yesterday, and I know he
won't today, but it's still hard to . . .not sure what I'm thinking
with this, just EGAD, I guess.
Oh, I just opened a huge gum ball for him.
Mother Earth (Tyra)
You sound like a parent in the midst of transition. Given that you have controlled and you are relinquishing control, your thoughts seem normal. If you just trust, your child will not appear to you to be a sugar addict. Right now he is a child who is basking in freedom of choice. After a while, he will be a child who knows he has the freedom to choose whatever he eats and candy will have not power. Good work, Sam.
Peace
Tyra
Peace
Tyra
----- Original Message -----
From: sam
To: [email protected]
Sent: Saturday, January 21, 2006 12:55 PM
Subject: [unschoolingbasics] My own little(big)EGAD!
So today is going to be candy day again. So far I've opend two pixie
stiks and one dulce de leche(hard candy, really tasty)
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
sam
--- In [email protected], "Mother Earth \(Tyra\)"
<motherspirit@b...> wrote:
normal. If you just trust, your child will not appear to you to be a
sugar addict. Right now he is a child who is basking in freedom of
choice. After a while, he will be a child who knows he has the
freedom to choose whatever he eats and candy will have not power.
Good work, Sam.
peppermint patties with one small bite each. The sucker that he just
had to have then left laying somewhere. He also ate some red beans
and rice, mostly the sausage and beans. My concern is slowly
becoming, not the candy he is eating, but where will I find the next
candy he opened but decided against.
<motherspirit@b...> wrote:
>have controlled and you are relinquishing control, your thoughts seem
> You sound like a parent in the midst of transition. Given that you
normal. If you just trust, your child will not appear to you to be a
sugar addict. Right now he is a child who is basking in freedom of
choice. After a while, he will be a child who knows he has the
freedom to choose whatever he eats and candy will have not power.
Good work, Sam.
>Something funny is the amount of candy I've thrown away today, two
> Peace
> Tyra
peppermint patties with one small bite each. The sucker that he just
had to have then left laying somewhere. He also ate some red beans
and rice, mostly the sausage and beans. My concern is slowly
becoming, not the candy he is eating, but where will I find the next
candy he opened but decided against.