Your Unschooling Story please...
Christy Putnam
Which parent chose to unschool in your home, was it a mutual decision before
having kids, was it something you stumbled upon while researching
homeschooling and it just resonated with one of you, if it was not a mutual
decision, how did you explain it to your SO or convince them, basically what
is your story of how unschooling became a part of your life?
Christy Putnam
<http://blog.myspace.com/personal_balance>
http://blog.myspace.com/personal_balance
Independent Executive
Discover a way to increase
your health and/or income! <http://practicalsolution.info/>
http://practicalsolution.info
"Go confidently in the direction of your dreams.
Live the life you have always imagined."
- Henry David Thoreau
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
having kids, was it something you stumbled upon while researching
homeschooling and it just resonated with one of you, if it was not a mutual
decision, how did you explain it to your SO or convince them, basically what
is your story of how unschooling became a part of your life?
Christy Putnam
<http://blog.myspace.com/personal_balance>
http://blog.myspace.com/personal_balance
Independent Executive
Discover a way to increase
your health and/or income! <http://practicalsolution.info/>
http://practicalsolution.info
"Go confidently in the direction of your dreams.
Live the life you have always imagined."
- Henry David Thoreau
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
[email protected]
>>basically what is your story of how unschooling became a part of your life?>>Here's a link to the presentation I gave at the 2003 L&L conference. It pretty much gives my story. Maybe way more than you wanted to know. <g>
http://sandradodd.com/gold/journey
--
~Mary
"The miracle is not to walk on water. The miracle is to walk on the
green earth, dwelling deeply in the present moment and feeling truly
alive."
~Thich Nhat Hanh
-------------- Original message ----------------------
From: "Christy Putnam" <personal_balance@...>
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Sylvia Toyama
Which parent chose to unschool in your home...... basically what is your story of how unschooling became a part of your life?
Here's mine - it's kinda long, but now that I have it written down maybe I'll store it somewhere. It's been awhile since I wrote it all out.
****
We came to homeschooling when Will was 16 and in 10th grade at public school. One day I got a call from a teacher, asking if Will was okay because they hadn't seen him in class in 15 days! Yes, 3 weeks and this was the first I'd heard of it. We'd been driving him to school every morning, and he'd been leaving right after we drove away -- off to hang out with friends. It was the first week of May, 2001. We had just pre-registered Andy (then 5) for KG in mid-April -- earlier than we'd planned, urged on by the arrival of Dan (in Jan 01) and my mil who insisted Andy was ready for school, even at only 5. She had wintered with us for two months while I was on bedrest with Dan's pregnancy, and prepped Andy for school-life then.
Will asked to homeschool -- left me no choice, really -- so I bought him a GED prep book and left him to study at his own pace while I learned about homeschooling.
The summer came and went -- while Andy spent 6 wks alone in Hawaii with the inlaws. I took Dan to LaLeche meetings, where I met a few homeschoolers. Andy came home from Hawaii and mil stayed a week. That entire week I was seized with a sense of complete dread about school for Andy. She talked about how much he could look forward to it non-stop it seemed (she's a retired K teacher). I just couldn't see myself doing it, giving the schools another of my children to damage, with me as their agent in that misery.
My mil left one week before school was to start for Andy. That same night, I told Gary(dh) how I was feeling and asked if we could just go back to our original schedule (Andy's a June baby, we'd always figured we'd wait until he was 6) and try homeschooling for one year. If it didn't work, fine, I'd find some way to send him the next year. He agreed!
When I called the school to tell them we'd decided to wait a year (thinking it would be no big deal, after all he's our child) I found it was easier to become a homeschooler, than to be granted 'permission' to keep a 5yo home from school -which actually requires approval from a board/committee of some sort! So, we went on record as homeschooling Andy, and I found a homeschooling support group for us to hang out with.
Within only a few months, we had decided never to send Andy or Dan to school, but I still thought we needed a curriculum to school at home. I tried Charlotte Mason, Five in a Row, explored Waldorf, and tried to pull together my own eclectic plan. Nothing really felt right. In the fall of 2002, I heard Sandra Dodd talk about unschooling and found myself thinking "oh my god, I'm one of those people" and it scared the daylights out of me! It felt like working without a net.
By April of 2003, Will had left home (along with my Mom, consuming much of my time from Feb - April) and Andy was starting to read -- from words he'd seen on cartoons, and I was amazed at how much he learned in those two months when I was too busy to 'do school.' I began to feel comfortable with the idea of unschooling and spent as much time as I could at unschooling.com. I didn't say anything to Gary then about unschoooling -- I was worried he wouldn't agree -- we just relaxed and got thru summer (a month-long family visit to the inlaws in Hawaii). When we returned, we had an email from his parents -- full of concerns for how much Andy was missing and should be in school.
Gary and I spent 3 days drafting, rewriting, and editing our reply -- it started out 6 pages long, finally down to 3 (printed in email). In that, we both made a strong case for how much school had damaged us, and our intent to have more for our children. By the end of it, we'd landed happily together into unschooling, tho it's not a word we'll ever use with his parents -- my Mom knows we unschool, but no other family have heard that from us. As an extremist myself -- always an all or nothing gal -- we quickly became radical unschoolers, anything less being just not enough.
It's been a good journey for us, and we've both grown and learned so much about each other as people and as parents. We still find new things out - for example, just a couple of days ago when my sister asked "Is Dan reading?" I answered "Oh god, no -- not yet, but he's close" Gary's answer was "Yes, he reads -- he has a lot of sight recognition words." Just one of those moments when I'm reminded that he gets it more than I do sometimes. And the boys, of course, are thriving.
Sylvia
Mom to Will (21 next weekend) Andy (9) & Dan (5 in just 4 days!)
---------------------------------
Yahoo! Photos Showcase holiday pictures in hardcover
Photo Books. You design it and well bind it!
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Here's mine - it's kinda long, but now that I have it written down maybe I'll store it somewhere. It's been awhile since I wrote it all out.
****
We came to homeschooling when Will was 16 and in 10th grade at public school. One day I got a call from a teacher, asking if Will was okay because they hadn't seen him in class in 15 days! Yes, 3 weeks and this was the first I'd heard of it. We'd been driving him to school every morning, and he'd been leaving right after we drove away -- off to hang out with friends. It was the first week of May, 2001. We had just pre-registered Andy (then 5) for KG in mid-April -- earlier than we'd planned, urged on by the arrival of Dan (in Jan 01) and my mil who insisted Andy was ready for school, even at only 5. She had wintered with us for two months while I was on bedrest with Dan's pregnancy, and prepped Andy for school-life then.
Will asked to homeschool -- left me no choice, really -- so I bought him a GED prep book and left him to study at his own pace while I learned about homeschooling.
The summer came and went -- while Andy spent 6 wks alone in Hawaii with the inlaws. I took Dan to LaLeche meetings, where I met a few homeschoolers. Andy came home from Hawaii and mil stayed a week. That entire week I was seized with a sense of complete dread about school for Andy. She talked about how much he could look forward to it non-stop it seemed (she's a retired K teacher). I just couldn't see myself doing it, giving the schools another of my children to damage, with me as their agent in that misery.
My mil left one week before school was to start for Andy. That same night, I told Gary(dh) how I was feeling and asked if we could just go back to our original schedule (Andy's a June baby, we'd always figured we'd wait until he was 6) and try homeschooling for one year. If it didn't work, fine, I'd find some way to send him the next year. He agreed!
When I called the school to tell them we'd decided to wait a year (thinking it would be no big deal, after all he's our child) I found it was easier to become a homeschooler, than to be granted 'permission' to keep a 5yo home from school -which actually requires approval from a board/committee of some sort! So, we went on record as homeschooling Andy, and I found a homeschooling support group for us to hang out with.
Within only a few months, we had decided never to send Andy or Dan to school, but I still thought we needed a curriculum to school at home. I tried Charlotte Mason, Five in a Row, explored Waldorf, and tried to pull together my own eclectic plan. Nothing really felt right. In the fall of 2002, I heard Sandra Dodd talk about unschooling and found myself thinking "oh my god, I'm one of those people" and it scared the daylights out of me! It felt like working without a net.
By April of 2003, Will had left home (along with my Mom, consuming much of my time from Feb - April) and Andy was starting to read -- from words he'd seen on cartoons, and I was amazed at how much he learned in those two months when I was too busy to 'do school.' I began to feel comfortable with the idea of unschooling and spent as much time as I could at unschooling.com. I didn't say anything to Gary then about unschoooling -- I was worried he wouldn't agree -- we just relaxed and got thru summer (a month-long family visit to the inlaws in Hawaii). When we returned, we had an email from his parents -- full of concerns for how much Andy was missing and should be in school.
Gary and I spent 3 days drafting, rewriting, and editing our reply -- it started out 6 pages long, finally down to 3 (printed in email). In that, we both made a strong case for how much school had damaged us, and our intent to have more for our children. By the end of it, we'd landed happily together into unschooling, tho it's not a word we'll ever use with his parents -- my Mom knows we unschool, but no other family have heard that from us. As an extremist myself -- always an all or nothing gal -- we quickly became radical unschoolers, anything less being just not enough.
It's been a good journey for us, and we've both grown and learned so much about each other as people and as parents. We still find new things out - for example, just a couple of days ago when my sister asked "Is Dan reading?" I answered "Oh god, no -- not yet, but he's close" Gary's answer was "Yes, he reads -- he has a lot of sight recognition words." Just one of those moments when I'm reminded that he gets it more than I do sometimes. And the boys, of course, are thriving.
Sylvia
Mom to Will (21 next weekend) Andy (9) & Dan (5 in just 4 days!)
---------------------------------
Yahoo! Photos Showcase holiday pictures in hardcover
Photo Books. You design it and well bind it!
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
[email protected]
-----Original Message-----
Which parent chose to unschool in your home, was it a mutual decision before
having kids, was it something you stumbled upon while researching
homeschooling and it just resonated with one of you, if it was not a mutual
decision, how did you explain it to your SO or convince them, basically what
is your story of how unschooling became a part of your life?
-=-=-=-
Our son was in private school. A good student. I was heavily involved as room mom, was on the parents'
board, and volunteered in the Resource Room. At the last parent's board meeting April of sixth grade,
it was decided (against my protests) that the children needed MORE computer time and less art/music/drama.
That was the last straw. But Cameron had already complained about the arbitrariness of grades (which didn't
kick in at this school until fifth grade) and all the bullying bychildren and teachers. We had discussed
homeschooling since the end of January, but had decided to just ride out the year.
Cameron suggested it in January. In February, while Ben was OOT for rwo weeks, I got every book at the
library on homeschooling. I ordered every curriculum catalogue. I read and researched and talked with
clients and friends that homeschooled. When Ben got home, I said that I thought we needed to homeshcool
the boys. I had a HUGE pile of research and Q&A and books and ...I WAS PREPARED! For battle! <g> I had
every answer to every argument he could throw at me.
He said, "OK. I trust you."
Shit! All that work.... <g>
But he added that he wasn't sure how we were going to pay for TWO boys to go to private school. He hoped
this would work.
I discovered John Holt pretty quickly. Realized that *this* man had a clue, found the unschooling.com
message boards, and was an unschooling mom. Well, the idea clicked right away. The process to BE an
unschooling mom took longer.
Ben still expected things to look more schooly---more educational. I tried to have a few schoolish examples
for him each week. Then I gave him Mary Griffith's book, The Unschooling Handbook, while he was again OOT.
One day he called home and told me to quit making them do anything schoolish---THAT wasn't unschooling!
<bwg> It took him a little longer, but he got it! Thank you, Mary Griffith!
Now Ben's just as vocal as I am about it. Everyone's on board.
~KellyKelly LovejoyConference CoordinatorLive and Learn Unschooling Conferencehttp://liveandlearnconference.org
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Which parent chose to unschool in your home, was it a mutual decision before
having kids, was it something you stumbled upon while researching
homeschooling and it just resonated with one of you, if it was not a mutual
decision, how did you explain it to your SO or convince them, basically what
is your story of how unschooling became a part of your life?
-=-=-=-
Our son was in private school. A good student. I was heavily involved as room mom, was on the parents'
board, and volunteered in the Resource Room. At the last parent's board meeting April of sixth grade,
it was decided (against my protests) that the children needed MORE computer time and less art/music/drama.
That was the last straw. But Cameron had already complained about the arbitrariness of grades (which didn't
kick in at this school until fifth grade) and all the bullying bychildren and teachers. We had discussed
homeschooling since the end of January, but had decided to just ride out the year.
Cameron suggested it in January. In February, while Ben was OOT for rwo weeks, I got every book at the
library on homeschooling. I ordered every curriculum catalogue. I read and researched and talked with
clients and friends that homeschooled. When Ben got home, I said that I thought we needed to homeshcool
the boys. I had a HUGE pile of research and Q&A and books and ...I WAS PREPARED! For battle! <g> I had
every answer to every argument he could throw at me.
He said, "OK. I trust you."
Shit! All that work.... <g>
But he added that he wasn't sure how we were going to pay for TWO boys to go to private school. He hoped
this would work.
I discovered John Holt pretty quickly. Realized that *this* man had a clue, found the unschooling.com
message boards, and was an unschooling mom. Well, the idea clicked right away. The process to BE an
unschooling mom took longer.
Ben still expected things to look more schooly---more educational. I tried to have a few schoolish examples
for him each week. Then I gave him Mary Griffith's book, The Unschooling Handbook, while he was again OOT.
One day he called home and told me to quit making them do anything schoolish---THAT wasn't unschooling!
<bwg> It took him a little longer, but he got it! Thank you, Mary Griffith!
Now Ben's just as vocal as I am about it. Everyone's on board.
~KellyKelly LovejoyConference CoordinatorLive and Learn Unschooling Conferencehttp://liveandlearnconference.org
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Joanne
Hi Christy:
I am the one who stays home and yes, it was mutual. My husband has
the ability to earn much more than I could and we could NEVER live
on what I would make. We're not rich but we do manage to support the
five of us and two pets on his one income.
I have a blog post about why we decided to take out kids out of
school. I'll copy it here:
was curious about because it was different. I've always enjoyed
exposing myself to, and experiencing, things that are off the beaten
path and I found myself being drawn to the unschooling philosophy. I
began doing a lot of researching on homeschooling in general, it's
different methods and found out what the laws were for my state.
Billy & I started meeting with other homeschooling families and we
were confident that we could do this.
At the time of our adoption, they were 5, 8 & 11. We adopted three
children, siblings that had been in foster care for fours years..
After about a year, I started to feel as if we had hit a plateau in
terms of bonding as a family. Sure, we knew which of us was not a
morning person (Shawna & I), which of us didn't like eggs (Cimion &
Jacqueline) and who could be counted on for remembering directions
(Billy & Cimion), but I wanted more for us. I felt that we needed to
start bonding on a deeper, emotional level. There were emotional
issues that needed more private family time in which to be
addressed. I knew we couldn't accomplish that with them being away
from us for 35 hours a week at school.
And it didn't end there. After school hours, there was homework that
needed to be done and tests to be studied for and teachers to meet
with and over priced candy to sell. School seemed to have a way of
creeping into our personal lives and stealing our family time.
So, over a four month period, we removed them, one at a time.
It's been a year since we removed our first child and the benefits
of un/homeschooling (and also being free of the school system)
continue to have a tremendous positive impact on our family. We
would never have come as far as we have if our children were still
in school.>>>>
I unschooled them from the start.
Removing them from school, saved them but unschooling makes it
possible for them to heal.
My husband has always been on board with whatever I wanted to do. He
trusts my judgement and has a lot of faith in my choices.
:-)
~ Joanne ~
Mom to Jacqueline (7), Shawna (10) & Cimion (13)
Adopted into our hearts October 30, 2003
http://anunschoolinglife.blogspot.com/
--- In [email protected], "Christy Putnam"
<personal_balance@c...> wrote:
I am the one who stays home and yes, it was mutual. My husband has
the ability to earn much more than I could and we could NEVER live
on what I would make. We're not rich but we do manage to support the
five of us and two pets on his one income.
I have a blog post about why we decided to take out kids out of
school. I'll copy it here:
>>>My husband & I decided to homeschool our three children about ayear and a half after we adopted them. At first, it was something I
was curious about because it was different. I've always enjoyed
exposing myself to, and experiencing, things that are off the beaten
path and I found myself being drawn to the unschooling philosophy. I
began doing a lot of researching on homeschooling in general, it's
different methods and found out what the laws were for my state.
Billy & I started meeting with other homeschooling families and we
were confident that we could do this.
At the time of our adoption, they were 5, 8 & 11. We adopted three
children, siblings that had been in foster care for fours years..
After about a year, I started to feel as if we had hit a plateau in
terms of bonding as a family. Sure, we knew which of us was not a
morning person (Shawna & I), which of us didn't like eggs (Cimion &
Jacqueline) and who could be counted on for remembering directions
(Billy & Cimion), but I wanted more for us. I felt that we needed to
start bonding on a deeper, emotional level. There were emotional
issues that needed more private family time in which to be
addressed. I knew we couldn't accomplish that with them being away
from us for 35 hours a week at school.
And it didn't end there. After school hours, there was homework that
needed to be done and tests to be studied for and teachers to meet
with and over priced candy to sell. School seemed to have a way of
creeping into our personal lives and stealing our family time.
So, over a four month period, we removed them, one at a time.
It's been a year since we removed our first child and the benefits
of un/homeschooling (and also being free of the school system)
continue to have a tremendous positive impact on our family. We
would never have come as far as we have if our children were still
in school.>>>>
I unschooled them from the start.
Removing them from school, saved them but unschooling makes it
possible for them to heal.
My husband has always been on board with whatever I wanted to do. He
trusts my judgement and has a lot of faith in my choices.
:-)
~ Joanne ~
Mom to Jacqueline (7), Shawna (10) & Cimion (13)
Adopted into our hearts October 30, 2003
http://anunschoolinglife.blogspot.com/
--- In [email protected], "Christy Putnam"
<personal_balance@c...> wrote:
>decision before
> Which parent chose to unschool in your home, was it a mutual
> having kids, was it something you stumbled upon while researchinga mutual
> homeschooling and it just resonated with one of you, if it was not
> decision, how did you explain it to your SO or convince them,basically what
> is your story of how unschooling became a part of your life?
>
> Christy Putnam
> <http://blog.myspace.com/personal_balance>
> http://blog.myspace.com/personal_balance
>
>
> Independent Executive
> Discover a way to increase
> your health and/or income! <http://practicalsolution.info/>
> http://practicalsolution.info
>
>
>
> "Go confidently in the direction of your dreams.
> Live the life you have always imagined."
> - Henry David Thoreau
>
>
>
>
> [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>
[email protected]
LOL! I agree with Kelly, it is helpful if the partner is out of town!
I got interested in alternative education because my son was different (in
shorthand, autistic spectrum....but we didn't know that then) and I knew he
needed much more than the typical preschool experience (because we thought he
had to go, of course). So, he went to Montessori preschool for two years, one
yucky year and one great year. I learned a lot about Montessori and read a
book or two.
Then we were due to move again, my DH was in Afghanistan, and we could not
afford the Montessori school in our new town. Plus, my experiences taught me
that just like everything else, it depended on the teacher, the school's
ideals and indeed the other parents and students what type of experience my son
would have. It had very little to do with Montessori, in my opinion.
So, I started reading H/S books in the bookstore and talked online to some
people that I knew from a parenting message board I was on. It still didn't
click, as I knew from experience that he would never let me "teach" him.
Somehow, I found unschooling, then the dot.com boards and I was there! I was
already an attachment parent, this fit right in! All the things I loved about
Montessori were built in, too!
So I email by hubby and said "we're homeschooling". The rest has been a
slow and definitely not straight progression of his understanding. Every once
in awhile he gets nervous, but then he'll listen to the horror stories of his
co-workers school issues. And he notices that ours are happy and interested
in life and all the other schooled kids are really difficult to be around.
He is starting to see that other people judge their children on what they are
or are not achieving and seem to care more about the profession they will
become than who they are as people. So he knows we are doing something right,
but he isn't exactly a supporter. :)
Oh, he attended bits and pieces of the second Live and Learn Conference and
two years later said "that was and UNschooling conference?????"
Kelly, maybe Paul and Ben should go on a long, long bike ride. Paul gets
home tomorrow (???? they are having Air Force support issues). :)
Leslie in SC
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
I got interested in alternative education because my son was different (in
shorthand, autistic spectrum....but we didn't know that then) and I knew he
needed much more than the typical preschool experience (because we thought he
had to go, of course). So, he went to Montessori preschool for two years, one
yucky year and one great year. I learned a lot about Montessori and read a
book or two.
Then we were due to move again, my DH was in Afghanistan, and we could not
afford the Montessori school in our new town. Plus, my experiences taught me
that just like everything else, it depended on the teacher, the school's
ideals and indeed the other parents and students what type of experience my son
would have. It had very little to do with Montessori, in my opinion.
So, I started reading H/S books in the bookstore and talked online to some
people that I knew from a parenting message board I was on. It still didn't
click, as I knew from experience that he would never let me "teach" him.
Somehow, I found unschooling, then the dot.com boards and I was there! I was
already an attachment parent, this fit right in! All the things I loved about
Montessori were built in, too!
So I email by hubby and said "we're homeschooling". The rest has been a
slow and definitely not straight progression of his understanding. Every once
in awhile he gets nervous, but then he'll listen to the horror stories of his
co-workers school issues. And he notices that ours are happy and interested
in life and all the other schooled kids are really difficult to be around.
He is starting to see that other people judge their children on what they are
or are not achieving and seem to care more about the profession they will
become than who they are as people. So he knows we are doing something right,
but he isn't exactly a supporter. :)
Oh, he attended bits and pieces of the second Live and Learn Conference and
two years later said "that was and UNschooling conference?????"
Kelly, maybe Paul and Ben should go on a long, long bike ride. Paul gets
home tomorrow (???? they are having Air Force support issues). :)
Leslie in SC
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
April Morris
We have always homeschooled and that was Chuck's choice. He did not do well
in school, was a late reader (gee, I wonder where my kids get that from!?),
and hated school even though he loves to learn. He introduced the idea of
homeschooling to me when our oldest was still a baby. I thought he was
crazy!! By the time she was "school age", we lived in a very bad school
district and couldn't afford private school. I agreed to homeschool, I
figured we would just do it for a couple of years until me moved or could
afford private school. That was 15 years ago and we haven't moved nor can we
afford private school! But it wouldn't matter, I fell in love with having my
kids home with me and I wouldn't put them in school unless they really
wanted to. When we started, we were very much organized, curriculum-led,
school-at-home. We had recess and everything! *shudder* I just didn't know
of any other way. But I early on figured out that a lot of the curriculum
was a waste of time. We would pick and choose. And my three oldest were
"late" readers. That made using a curriculum difficult. Very slowly and
gradually I began to question why. Why use a curriculum, why is tv bad, why
not treat the kids the way I treat my spouse and friends, why not have a lot
more fun, why is reading 'better' than other ways of learning.....why, why,
why.....it did not happen quickly or even smoothly. I had heard of
unschooling, and way back in the day, I thought it was a bit questionable.
But as I began to explore ideas, I suddenly realized I was closer to
unschooling than to what I was. We just kind of gradually slid into it and
woke up one day with the realization that we were unschoolers. Chuck has
more concerns than I do. He has more fears about their future. But he is
learning to trust the process and trust the kids. And we talk a lot and I'm
willing to compromise on some things. I know it was a process for me and I
need to respect that his process has a different time frame than mine and
with different issues and concerns.
This is the short version. But it gives you a peek into our journey.
~April
Mom to Kate-19, Lisa-16, Karl-14, & Ben-10.
*REACH Homeschool Grp, an inclusive group in Oakland County
http://www.homeschoolingonashoestring.com/REACH_home.html
* Michigan Unschoolers
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/michigan_unschoolers/
*Check out Chuck's art www.artkunst23.com
"All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given to us."
Gandalf the Grey
in school, was a late reader (gee, I wonder where my kids get that from!?),
and hated school even though he loves to learn. He introduced the idea of
homeschooling to me when our oldest was still a baby. I thought he was
crazy!! By the time she was "school age", we lived in a very bad school
district and couldn't afford private school. I agreed to homeschool, I
figured we would just do it for a couple of years until me moved or could
afford private school. That was 15 years ago and we haven't moved nor can we
afford private school! But it wouldn't matter, I fell in love with having my
kids home with me and I wouldn't put them in school unless they really
wanted to. When we started, we were very much organized, curriculum-led,
school-at-home. We had recess and everything! *shudder* I just didn't know
of any other way. But I early on figured out that a lot of the curriculum
was a waste of time. We would pick and choose. And my three oldest were
"late" readers. That made using a curriculum difficult. Very slowly and
gradually I began to question why. Why use a curriculum, why is tv bad, why
not treat the kids the way I treat my spouse and friends, why not have a lot
more fun, why is reading 'better' than other ways of learning.....why, why,
why.....it did not happen quickly or even smoothly. I had heard of
unschooling, and way back in the day, I thought it was a bit questionable.
But as I began to explore ideas, I suddenly realized I was closer to
unschooling than to what I was. We just kind of gradually slid into it and
woke up one day with the realization that we were unschoolers. Chuck has
more concerns than I do. He has more fears about their future. But he is
learning to trust the process and trust the kids. And we talk a lot and I'm
willing to compromise on some things. I know it was a process for me and I
need to respect that his process has a different time frame than mine and
with different issues and concerns.
This is the short version. But it gives you a peek into our journey.
~April
Mom to Kate-19, Lisa-16, Karl-14, & Ben-10.
*REACH Homeschool Grp, an inclusive group in Oakland County
http://www.homeschoolingonashoestring.com/REACH_home.html
* Michigan Unschoolers
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/michigan_unschoolers/
*Check out Chuck's art www.artkunst23.com
"All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given to us."
Gandalf the Grey
On 1/21/06, Christy Putnam <personal_balance@...> wrote:
>
> Which parent chose to unschool in your home, was it a mutual decision
> before
> having kids, was it something you stumbled upon while researching
> homeschooling and it just resonated with one of you, if it was not a
> mutual
> decision, how did you explain it to your SO or convince them, basically
> what
> is your story of how unschooling became a part of your life?
>
> Christy Putnam
> <http://blog.myspace.com/personal_balance>
> http://blog.myspace.com/personal_balance
>
>
> Independent Executive
> Discover a way to increase
> your health and/or income! <http://practicalsolution.info/>
> http://practicalsolution.info
>
>
>
> "Go confidently in the direction of your dreams.
> Live the life you have always imagined."
> - Henry David Thoreau
>
>
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Mother Earth (Tyra)
I love your story. Thank you!
Peace
Tyra
Peace
Tyra
----- Original Message -----
From: April Morris
To: [email protected]
Sent: Saturday, January 21, 2006 9:14 AM
Subject: Re: [unschoolingbasics] Your Unschooling Story please...
We have always homeschooled and that was Chuck's choice... And my three oldest were
"late" readers. That made using a curriculum difficult. Very slowly and
gradually I began to question why. Why use a curriculum, why is tv bad, why
not treat the kids the way I treat my spouse and friends, why not have a lot
more fun, why is reading 'better' than other ways of learning.....why, why,
why.....it did not happen quickly or even smoothly. I had heard of
unschooling, and way back in the day, I thought it was a bit questionable.
But as I began to explore ideas, I suddenly realized I was closer to
unschooling than to what I was. We just kind of gradually slid into it and
woke up one day with the realization that we were unschoolers.
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Malinda Mills
Our story is another that happened while dad was away..... ;o)
Tristan has always struggled at school, not academically but socially. The teachers that have taken the time to get to know Tristan really seemed to appreciate his personality (his perceptiveness, excitement towards many topics, sense of humor, etc.). They did have a rough time with him since he would finish his work so quickly and then end up getting in trouble because he was bored. His second grade teacher, when asked how we could help at home, told us "Well certainly don't teach him anything new at home!" Tristan is also really sensitive and reacts badly to any sort of joking/teasing/etc. His strong reactions would end up getting him in trouble, yet the person doing the teasing would not be reprimanded. Tristan would see the injustice in this and then react to that...
My husband left for Iraq three days prior to Tristan starting third grade. School was a nightmare. I won't go into all the details but we had two months in school go by and didn't hear any negatives from the school (yet I heard negative things from Tristan on a daily basis). The out of the blue the school was demanding interventions and started doing whatever they could to get Tristan labeled with something. Everyday got worse and worse....Tristan would be in bed crying at night saying that everyone at school thought something was wrong with him. I even ended up taking Tristan to a psychologist who found nothing wrong and was working with him on COPING TACTICS for school. *sigh* His teacher was a mean and vile person. The school loved to use shaming tactics and would use his dad against him ("How do you think your dad, who is far away in Iraq, would feel if he knew you did such and such?"). Tristan's world revolves around Jody, and he was simply devastated when they said that type of thing to him. I was incensed. Pamela's story about visiting the ps for her child really hit close to home...that is what I saw at Tristan's school.
By mid-November I started researching homeschooling on the internet. I know a few folks that homeschool, but they stick rigidly to curriculums and schedules. I knew this wouldn't work for Tristan and I. Our relationship was already strained, and me becoming the "teacher" would only make it worse. I quickly came across unschooling, and I was hooked. I checked out "The Unschooling Handbook" and one of John Holt's books from the library and bought several more from Amazon.
I emailed Jody and asked him what his thoughts were about homeschooling. I had kept him informed about the problems at school. He was all for homeschooling but was concerned because I would be taking it on alone. I ensured him that Tristan and I would be fine, and I withdrew Tristan on Dec 1st of last year.
Now, Jody and I haven't had much of a chance to discuss unschooling, since our communication is quite limited; it is incredibly difficult to really have an indepth discussion of unschooling (the theory behind it, what a typical day would look like, etc.) through email. I did recently send him a lengthy email discussing the basics of it. I think he may be taken aback for a short time since it is such a dramatic shift away from the norm, but I now he'll quickly realize that this is the environment that Tristan will truly flourish in.
That ended up being much longer than I meant it to be...my apologies!
Malinda
http://nomadicdreamers.blogspot.com/
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Tristan has always struggled at school, not academically but socially. The teachers that have taken the time to get to know Tristan really seemed to appreciate his personality (his perceptiveness, excitement towards many topics, sense of humor, etc.). They did have a rough time with him since he would finish his work so quickly and then end up getting in trouble because he was bored. His second grade teacher, when asked how we could help at home, told us "Well certainly don't teach him anything new at home!" Tristan is also really sensitive and reacts badly to any sort of joking/teasing/etc. His strong reactions would end up getting him in trouble, yet the person doing the teasing would not be reprimanded. Tristan would see the injustice in this and then react to that...
My husband left for Iraq three days prior to Tristan starting third grade. School was a nightmare. I won't go into all the details but we had two months in school go by and didn't hear any negatives from the school (yet I heard negative things from Tristan on a daily basis). The out of the blue the school was demanding interventions and started doing whatever they could to get Tristan labeled with something. Everyday got worse and worse....Tristan would be in bed crying at night saying that everyone at school thought something was wrong with him. I even ended up taking Tristan to a psychologist who found nothing wrong and was working with him on COPING TACTICS for school. *sigh* His teacher was a mean and vile person. The school loved to use shaming tactics and would use his dad against him ("How do you think your dad, who is far away in Iraq, would feel if he knew you did such and such?"). Tristan's world revolves around Jody, and he was simply devastated when they said that type of thing to him. I was incensed. Pamela's story about visiting the ps for her child really hit close to home...that is what I saw at Tristan's school.
By mid-November I started researching homeschooling on the internet. I know a few folks that homeschool, but they stick rigidly to curriculums and schedules. I knew this wouldn't work for Tristan and I. Our relationship was already strained, and me becoming the "teacher" would only make it worse. I quickly came across unschooling, and I was hooked. I checked out "The Unschooling Handbook" and one of John Holt's books from the library and bought several more from Amazon.
I emailed Jody and asked him what his thoughts were about homeschooling. I had kept him informed about the problems at school. He was all for homeschooling but was concerned because I would be taking it on alone. I ensured him that Tristan and I would be fine, and I withdrew Tristan on Dec 1st of last year.
Now, Jody and I haven't had much of a chance to discuss unschooling, since our communication is quite limited; it is incredibly difficult to really have an indepth discussion of unschooling (the theory behind it, what a typical day would look like, etc.) through email. I did recently send him a lengthy email discussing the basics of it. I think he may be taken aback for a short time since it is such a dramatic shift away from the norm, but I now he'll quickly realize that this is the environment that Tristan will truly flourish in.
That ended up being much longer than I meant it to be...my apologies!
Malinda
http://nomadicdreamers.blogspot.com/
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Melissa
We didn't really choose unschooling, it chose us!
My husband didn't want to homeschool, but as our children had more
difficulties in school and became more miserable, he finally agreed
that hs'ing would be better. We pulled them out, and started a school
at home program. That actually worked pretty well in our family, but
it wasn't really what I wanted. When I was put on bedrest, it
happened on it's own. Now that I'm (almost) recovered, I'm working to
maintain this happiness and relaxation in our home. It's awesome. DH
is still a little uneasy by it, mostly because we are both type A
control freaks, and OCD about housework and such. :-P
Melissa
My husband didn't want to homeschool, but as our children had more
difficulties in school and became more miserable, he finally agreed
that hs'ing would be better. We pulled them out, and started a school
at home program. That actually worked pretty well in our family, but
it wasn't really what I wanted. When I was put on bedrest, it
happened on it's own. Now that I'm (almost) recovered, I'm working to
maintain this happiness and relaxation in our home. It's awesome. DH
is still a little uneasy by it, mostly because we are both type A
control freaks, and OCD about housework and such. :-P
Melissa
On Jan 20, 2006, at 11:33 PM, Christy Putnam wrote:
> Which parent chose to unschool in your home, was it a mutual
> decision before
> having kids, was it something you stumbled upon while researching
> homeschooling and it just resonated with one of you, if it was not
> a mutual
> decision, how did you explain it to your SO or convince them,
> basically what
> is your story of how unschooling became a part of your life?
>
> Christy Putnam
> <http://blog.myspace.com/personal_balance>
> http://blog.myspace.com/personal_balance
>
>
> Independent Executive
> Discover a way to increase
> your health and/or income! <http://practicalsolution.info/>
> http://practicalsolution.info
>
>
>
> "Go confidently in the direction of your dreams.
> Live the life you have always imagined."
> - Henry David Thoreau
>
>
>
>
> [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>
>
> YAHOO! GROUPS LINKS
>
> Visit your group "unschoolingbasics" on the web.
>
> To unsubscribe from this group, send an email to:
> [email protected]
>
> Your use of Yahoo! Groups is subject to the Yahoo! Terms of Service.
>
>
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]