SMILE
Kim
Hey Kelly~
Do you know if SMILE is still in business? I tried to get info, but got no response and was just wondering if I should look elsewhere for an Option 3 place for SC~
Thanks a bunch!
Kim Griffin
Big Yellow Box by Crayola
www.bigyellowbox.net/kc
-----Original Message-----
Do you know if SMILE is still in business? I tried to get info, but got no response and was just wondering if I should look elsewhere for an Option 3 place for SC~
Thanks a bunch!
Kim Griffin
Big Yellow Box by Crayola
www.bigyellowbox.net/kc
-----Original Message-----
>From: [email protected]
>Sent: Jan 19, 2006 11:55 AM
>To: [email protected]
>Subject: [unschoolingbasics] Digest Number 714
>
>There are 11 messages in this issue.
>
>Topics in this digest:
>
> 1. Re: Question about TV
> From: Joyce Fetteroll <fetteroll@...>
> 2. Re: New at unschooling
> From: Joyce Fetteroll <fetteroll@...>
> 3. Re: To Amy B re: Boomwhackers was Unschooling right this minute
> From: Amy Bowers <amybarbo@...>
> 4. Re: Re: Speaking of Bedtimes
> From: kbcdlovejo@...
> 5. Re: Re: Speaking of Bedtimes
> From: kbcdlovejo@...
> 6. Re: Star Wars
> From: "Deb" <soggyboysmom@...>
> 7. Re: Question about TV
> From: kbcdlovejo@...
> 8. Re: Question about TV
> From: "Deb" <soggyboysmom@...>
> 9. Re: Speaking of bedtimes
> From: "Mother Earth \(Tyra\)" <motherspirit@...>
> 10. Re: Re: bedtimes
> From: patricia tidmore <ptidmore1117@...>
> 11. Re: Question about TV
> From: "nrskay" <k_bird@...>
>
>
>________________________________________________________________________
>________________________________________________________________________
>
>Message: 1
> Date: Thu, 19 Jan 2006 05:35:26 -0500
> From: Joyce Fetteroll <fetteroll@...>
>Subject: Re: Question about TV
>
>
>On Jan 18, 2006, at 9:40 PM, jnjstau@... wrote:
>
>> If I did have a kid that was watching many hours of tv after the
>> initial binge, I would perhaps worry that she was bored or depressed.
>
>Or it could be a stage. My daughter went through a period from 10ish
>to 11ish where she watched a lot of TV and she's always unschooled
>and always had the freedom to watch as much as she wanted. She said
>she had writer's block. Perhaps she was filling up on stories. It
>didn't look like there was much going on. Yet now at 14 she writes a
>tremendous amount and watches little TV.
>
>And some other parents have said their preteens went through that
>phase too.
>
>I think part of it was not wanting to miss what might be coming on. I
>think there were two factors. There were a lot of programs she liked
>and she felt like she was at the mercy of the programmers who might
>sneak a new episode in or replay one of her favorites. I think TiVo
>would have helped by letting her capture everything she wanted to
>watch and letting her watch it when she wanted to. But in the
>meantime she got older and her interests changed.
>
>Joyce
>
>[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>
>
>
>________________________________________________________________________
>________________________________________________________________________
>
>Message: 2
> Date: Thu, 19 Jan 2006 05:58:52 -0500
> From: Joyce Fetteroll <fetteroll@...>
>Subject: Re: New at unschooling
>
>
>On Jan 18, 2006, at 3:35 PM, Aisha Abdul Rahman wrote:
>
>> We would play games, read some books, do some projects etc. It
>> seems that my kids do not
>> initiate this on their own, especially the oldest. All he wants to
>> do, is play games on the
>> computer all day. And the others want to watch TV all day.
>
>If you want to unschool it will help not to divide the world between
>what you want them to do/what you think is a good use of time and
>what they want to do. It should all be what they want to do plus
>ideas you bring in and offer.
>
>> They know what they can and cannot watch, and adhere to these
>> rules. BUT ALL DAY. So I
>> have limited the TV to the weekends only, and the computer to after
>> 3, unless playing an
>> educational game, or research etc.
>
>As said on the other thread, when things are limited they grow in
>importance.
>
>Think about your favorite thing in the world. Then imagine that
>someone only allows you to have it for 15 minutes a month. You could
>have it other times. It's right there and you could pick it up but
>you aren't allowed to. Imagine how much energy you would focus on
>that upcoming 15 minutes you were allowed. Imagine how you would try
>to sneak in as many minutes as you could get away with to expand the
>15 minutes when you had it. Imagine what you would do if you were
>alone and you knew no one would stop you from doing it even though it
>wasn't your permitted time.
>
>Rather than spending energy being a roadblock, spend energy helping
>them explore their interests. Sit with them or bring laundry in to
>fold while they watch their favorite programs or play on the
>computer. Ask them what they like about them. Walk along beside them
>as they explore rather than waiting off on the side beside something
>you wish they were interested in. But do be interested yourself and
>let that interest flow out to them. Show them things. They can't
>expand their interests if new ideas aren't running through their
>lives. But don't invest much in their interest. Your part is to be
>interested in things and share with them, not make them learn.
>
>> Any suggestions on motivating them to want to learn more, and
>> become more self directed
>> in their learning?
>
>Yes, be more interested in what they are exploring and what interests
>them right now.
>
>> i can come up with a project idea, and they are all for it, but
>> unless I sit right there with them,
>> they do not work on it very long, and they fight.
>
>Some kids do projects independently but that's personality, not an
>expectation. My daughter at 14 often enjoys doing crafts with me
>because it's the togetherness part she enjoys as much as the craft.
>And even when she's doing something on her own like drawing she likes
>to have me drawing at the same time.
>
>> OH THE FIGHTING. Some days, I just send them to their rooms to play.
>> I am getting so burnt out, I need to revamp.
>
>There's something that's stressing them. Can you talk more about
>what's going on? What are some recent scenarios?
>
>Joyce
>
>[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>
>
>
>________________________________________________________________________
>________________________________________________________________________
>
>Message: 3
> Date: Thu, 19 Jan 2006 07:11:08 -0500
> From: Amy Bowers <amybarbo@...>
>Subject: Re: To Amy B re: Boomwhackers was Unschooling right this minute
>
>Well, even if your kids don't like them - then you will have a new toy!
>
>Was it Danielle who wrote once about having a banging wall in her
>backyard? We live in an old neighborhood where the houses are close
>together - so I doubt my neighbors would like that, but this is a good
>way to release some energy and make some pleasing noises. They
>certainly sound better than all the saws, hammers, and lawnmowers that
>are always working away.
>
>This is what I really want for my backyard. My husband and I actually
>stopped by Parrott, GA on a road trip once while they were having
>their founders day celebration. Wow! So cool! In a small city, quaint,
>Elvis impersonating, clogging sort of way. But we went to this guys
>shop and I have been dreaming about it ever since.
>
> http://www.soundplay.com/
>http://www.pickens.k12.sc.us/clemson.es/CES/MusicGarden.htm
>
>
>Amy
>
>
>________________________________________________________________________
>________________________________________________________________________
>
>Message: 4
> Date: Thu, 19 Jan 2006 08:17:32 -0500
> From: kbcdlovejo@...
>Subject: Re: Re: Speaking of Bedtimes
>
>Two mainstream "professional" names that will bring out the worst in unschoolers are James Dobson and John Rosemond. They give the exact opposite advise that we would for peaseful parenting. They advocate adversarial relationships with children---especially teens! They strive to provide top-down control in families. Rosemond pushes "vitamin N" (the word NO) as much as possible.
>
>They're just really lousy advice givers. We suggest you stay as far away from them as possible.
>
>When I read your bit on Dobson yesterdy, I groaned that someone was posting Dobson advice. But I liked the part about greeting each other postively each time we meet. It's a nice start. But we *should* do that and be that person with our families ALL the time.
>
>Unfortanately Dobson doesn't expect you to keep it up all day. He expects you to have to say NO arbitrarily the rest of the day, so this is only a nice way to start. In his mind, you are supposed to lay down th law the rest of the time!
>
>~Kelly
>
>Kelly Lovejoy
>Conference Coordinator
>Live and Learn Unschooling Conference
>http://liveandlearnconference.org
>
>
>-----Original Message-----
>
>I'm sorry you were offended. I felt that since this was a beginner
>list, that maybe a short term goal for a mom who was having trouble
>draggin kids out of bed in the morning would be helpful.
>
>I didn't read it as a trick. I didn't see him say to be nice for five
>minutes so you can beat your kids later. What it said was that those
>first few moments together can make a difference for the day. If a
>mom is dragging her kids out of bed, what tone is that setting for
>the rest of the day? I've seen that in myself as a new mom to this.
>
>
>[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>
>
>
>________________________________________________________________________
>________________________________________________________________________
>
>Message: 5
> Date: Thu, 19 Jan 2006 08:17:53 -0500
> From: kbcdlovejo@...
>Subject: Re: Re: Speaking of Bedtimes
>
>Two mainstream "professional" names that will bring out the worst in unschoolers are James Dobson and John Rosemond. They give the exact opposite advise that we would for peaseful parenting. They advocate adversarial relationships with children---especially teens! They strive to provide top-down control in families. Rosemond pushes "vitamin N" (the word NO) as much as possible.
>
>They're just really lousy advice givers. We suggest you stay as far away from them as possible.
>
>When I read your bit on Dobson yesterdy, I groaned that someone was posting Dobson advice. But I liked the part about greeting each other postively each time we meet. It's a nice start. But we *should* do that and be that person with our families ALL the time.
>
>Unfortanately Dobson doesn't expect you to keep it up all day. He expects you to have to say NO arbitrarily the rest of the day, so this is only a nice way to start. In his mind, you are supposed to lay down th law the rest of the time!
>
>~Kelly
>
>Kelly Lovejoy
>Conference Coordinator
>Live and Learn Unschooling Conference
>http://liveandlearnconference.org
>
>
>-----Original Message-----
>
>I'm sorry you were offended. I felt that since this was a beginner
>list, that maybe a short term goal for a mom who was having trouble
>draggin kids out of bed in the morning would be helpful.
>
>I didn't read it as a trick. I didn't see him say to be nice for five
>minutes so you can beat your kids later. What it said was that those
>first few moments together can make a difference for the day. If a
>mom is dragging her kids out of bed, what tone is that setting for
>the rest of the day? I've seen that in myself as a new mom to this.
>
>
>[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>
>
>
>________________________________________________________________________
>________________________________________________________________________
>
>Message: 6
> Date: Thu, 19 Jan 2006 13:40:06 -0000
> From: "Deb" <soggyboysmom@...>
>Subject: Re: Star Wars
>
>--- In [email protected], Daniel MacIntyre
><daniel.macintyre@g...> wrote:
>>
>> I HIGHLY recommend watching episode 4 first. It has the strongest
>>story
>> line of the lot, but if you watch the others ahead of it, you will
>>be
>> disappointed by the "primitive" special effects and slow >lightsaber
>duels
>> (obiwan and vader don't do much besides shake their weapons at
>>eachother).
>> Also, the revelation of luke and vader's relationship is something
>>you DON'T
>> want to spoil!
>
>I asked DH last night and he said basically the same thing - do them
>in the order they were released - for the same basic reasons.
>
>--Deb
>
>
>
>
>
>________________________________________________________________________
>________________________________________________________________________
>
>Message: 7
> Date: Thu, 19 Jan 2006 08:33:49 -0500
> From: kbcdlovejo@...
>Subject: Re: Question about TV
>
> -----Original Message-----
>From: Melissa <autismhelp@...>
>
>Of course, we also eat dessert before dinner, so take it the way you
>want. We've removed the power of sugar in our lives too, by eating it
>when we like. No urge to cram it, no urge to hoard it. We eat fresh
>fruits and veggies when we like as well. But the kids know what they
>really want. Sometimes I offer junk, and they ask for fruit.
>Sometimes I say I'm going to watch a movie, and they want to play
>outside.
>
>-=-=-
>
>Right. I make up monkey platters for Duncan. I'll have pita chips with hummus, carrots & cucumbers with dill dip, sliced pears, nuts, graham crackers wth peanut butter, and chocolate chips. The kids *may* eat the chocolate chips first---I don't notice. But when they deliver the platter back to the kitchen, it's empty.
>
>If the TV is just one choice of many---AND ALL THE CHOICES ARE EQUAL IN *MY* EYES!---then they will choose what they want because they *can*. They won't choose it because that's what's considered dessert---the forbidden fruit.
>
>And how do you explain all of us who *have* stopped the arbitrary limiting? ANd our kids don't eat ice cream all day and are eager to drop TV for some other activity?
>
>It works. It really does!
>
>~Kelly
>
>Kelly Lovejoy
>Conference Coordinator
>Live and Learn Unschooling Conference
>http://liveandlearnconference.org
>
>
>
>
>[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>
>
>
>________________________________________________________________________
>________________________________________________________________________
>
>Message: 8
> Date: Thu, 19 Jan 2006 13:58:57 -0000
> From: "Deb" <soggyboysmom@...>
>Subject: Re: Question about TV
>
>--- In [email protected], "ideydidey"
><susanpatton@c...> wrote:
>>
>> HI all,
>> I am new here, but I see that TV is a big part of a lot of people's
>> lives. I have always thought that watching TV all day fell in the
>>same
>> category as eating chocolate or ice cream all day, something that
>>even
>> as an unschooler I wouldn't allow - I still feel that I need to help
>> my child develop healthfully. So am I totally off-base on that? Does
>> anyone feel that way about TV (that it is addictive and not
>> particularly healthy for anyone and should be treated as "dessert"?)
>>
>> Just curious!
>>
>> Susan
>It's no bigger a part of our lives than any other thing, from books to
>music to Legos. Just as ice cream or chocolate are no more or less
>than a part of a whole balance of eating. Developing healthfully is
>learning balance of things, not separating out certain things as "bad
>for you" or "only a little bit now and then". There are times when I
>want lots of chocolate, so I eat lots of chocolate. There are times
>when one or two individual chocolate morsels is plenty and there are
>times when I'd rather have strawberries. Just so, there are times when
>I want lots of TV, times when I watch one or two favorites and that's
>all and times when I am doing other things entirely. Balance. By
>setting TV (or ice cream or cake or video games) out as something that
>has to be rationed and earned (by finishing all the peas or reading 2
>chapters or spending an hour out in the yard), it sets those things
>apart as more desirable *because* they are rationed. (BTW have you
>ever considered the whole 'finish all your supper before you have
>dessert concept? Basically what it is saying is fill yourself up and
>then you can have what you want, but by that time you're full, but you
>still want the cookie so you over fill - seems like if you just ate as
>much peas and as much chicken and as much cookie as you wanted it
>would all balance without over eating). DS calls ice cream et
>al 'dessert' since that's what it is called in the larger culture
>(check a restaurant menu for instance). However, if he chooses, he can
>have ice cream and then have a sandwich or can have both at the same
>time (except the ice cream tends to get melty if he's going back and
>forth). Manys the time that I've brought a double chocolate donut home
>from work (when our summer interns leave, for instance, tradition is
>that they bring donuts on their last day. I'll grab one and bring it
>home for DS). When I get home from work, dinner is usually cooking if
>not ready already. I'll give him the donut. Sometimes he saves it
>until after eating whatever is for dinner. Other times he eats the
>whole thing right away. And sometimes he'll eat part then eat dinner
>then eat the rest. Since it has no greater or lesser weight than
>anything else, no emotional ties, no hint of 'forbidden or
>restricted', he eats it as he chooses when he chooses in response to
>what his body says at the time. Of the three of us (me, DH, and DS) DS
>is the most likely to eat one cookie and stop or leave a dish of ice
>cream half eaten because he is done eating ice cream.
>
>Same for TV - he watches when he wants, what he wants, and when he is
>done, he moves to something else (and often he's doing something else
>in the middle of TV watching also) and vice versa - when he's done
>inthe yard or playing with Legos or whatever (when he's filled up on
>how much of it he wants) he can move to TV or video games if he
>chooses, if he has a 'taste' for it. Of us all, he is the least likely
>to 'veg out' in front of the TV. He'll leave the room or turn it off
>or simply ignore it (as he chooses) when he doesn't find anything he
>wants to watch, whereas DH and I will flip channels back and forth
>rather than turn it off.
>
>But, in food and TV and other things, we're learning a lot about
>balance and listening to our insides from DS and we're getting better
>about it.
>
>--Deb
>
>
>
>
>
>
>________________________________________________________________________
>________________________________________________________________________
>
>Message: 9
> Date: Thu, 19 Jan 2006 08:15:59 -0600
> From: "Mother Earth \(Tyra\)" <motherspirit@...>
>Subject: Re: Speaking of bedtimes
>
>
>>I think we should start our own series >called "Parenting Mythbusters"
>>where we explode all the current theories >about parenting.:)
>
>Ren,
>
>I just wrote to another group that I belong something in this same vein. We have been discussing unschooling versus other styles of learning at home. We were discussing what students need to learn to go to college. A few of the other parents were saying that they teach their children what they need to learn to go to college because certain subjects are needed. I told them about the recent posting on this group where the mother said that she would meet with college officials and show her son's portfolio and resume, etc... I told them that what unschoolers help me to realize is that there is always out of the box experiences and approaches to life. Where everyone is taking Road A because that is what we are told we are supposed to do in order to arrive at Place A, unschoolers have helped me to realize that there are an infinite number of roads that can get me to Road A.
>
>So many parents think that unschooling equals less parenting, but I believe that once parents talk to and see unschoolers in actions, it will make them realize that everything they were conditioned to believe makes a good parent is up for question. This group has definitely busted parenting myths for me, especially in the area of TV and candy eating. What I know that many parents don't understand is that there is so much more freedom in this way of living. I have more time to connect with my children rather than regulate them.
>
>Much Love
>Tyra
>
>[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>
>
>
>________________________________________________________________________
>________________________________________________________________________
>
>Message: 10
> Date: Thu, 19 Jan 2006 05:55:56 -0800 (PST)
> From: patricia tidmore <ptidmore1117@...>
>Subject: Re: Re: bedtimes
>
>
>
>Thanks Kay,
> After reading your reply I am thinking maybe we aren't comunicating enough with the boys just how much we need it to be quiet so that we can rest in the evenings.
> We have explained our health problems,but maybe we are needing to EACH night before going to our rooms ask them could they stay in THEIR room and play quietly?
>
> Tricia
>
>
>
>
>
> nrskay <k_bird@...> wrote:
> --- In [email protected], "nrskay" <k_bird@c...>
>wrote:
>>
>> I have fibromyalgia also, 52 yo and am totally toast by 6pm. My
>> 11 yo dd is aware, we play quiet games in the evening together
>like
>> sudoko, mindteasers or maze puzzles. Then she is ready to go
>online
>> with friends and I'm in bed by 10pm. She stays up anywhere from 2
>> to 3 hours past my bedtime, but she stays in her room so that the
>> house is quiet. In the am is when I have time to be online with
>you
>> guys while she sleeps.
>>
>> What about each going to their room and playing quietly? Climb in
>> bed with them, read a story, talk or watch a mellow program. If
>> they are lactose intolerant and like milk, maybe a snack with milk
>> will help comfort them. *****I meant to say "if they are NOT
>lactose intolerant what about some milk?"
>>
>> Kay
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
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>
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>
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>
>"When I get to where I'm going on the other side of the sky the first thing I'm gonna do is spread my wings and fly I'm gonna land besidwe a lion and run my fingers thru his main Or I might find out what it's like to ride a raindrop,"
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>[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>
>
>
>________________________________________________________________________
>________________________________________________________________________
>
>Message: 11
> Date: Thu, 19 Jan 2006 16:22:19 -0000
> From: "nrskay" <k_bird@...>
>Subject: Re: Question about TV
>
>Hi Breezy:
>
>My 11 yo dd watched TV, played neopets and played PS2 almost non-stop
>for 6 months while she was deschooling. Now we enjoy all kinds of
>things together. We play PS2 and neopets together and watch some TV
>together. My biggest concern was the way she was shutting me out. Now
>she can't stand it if I'm not involved with what she is doing, (she's
>my youngest and only child at home).
>
>Let your son deschool, you and your hubby need to deschool too. It is
>not easy, I really struggled with whether I was ruining her life by
>letting her do this stuff all day. You will see the fruits of your
>relaxing when this stage is over.
>
>Kay
>
>
>
>
>
>
>________________________________________________________________________
>________________________________________________________________________
>
>
>
>------------------------------------------------------------------------
>Yahoo! Groups Links
>
>
>
>
>------------------------------------------------------------------------
>
>
>
[email protected]
I'm not Kelly, but yes they are. I have a new phone number for them if you
want to contact me off-list but the website is the same. www. smile-AA.com
Kim, are you here yet? :)
Leslie (Mercy in Richlands' friend)
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
want to contact me off-list but the website is the same. www. smile-AA.com
Kim, are you here yet? :)
Leslie (Mercy in Richlands' friend)
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
[email protected]
Hmmm. I don't know. I was banned over two years ago from reading and posting. I just send my $$ and become legal. I haven't heard anything in a while.
Leslie? Priss? Jill? Melinda? Anyone else with SMILE? Who's still allowed to read and post? <g>
~Kelly
Kelly Lovejoy
Conference Coordinator
Live and Learn Unschooling Conference
http://liveandlearnconference.org
-----Original Message-----
From: Kim <hopefull2005@...>
To: [email protected]
Sent: Thu, 19 Jan 2006 12:02:48 -0500 (EST)
Subject: [unschoolingbasics] SMILE
Hey Kelly~
Do you know if SMILE is still in business? I tried to get info, but got no
response and was just wondering if I should look elsewhere for an Option 3 place
for SC~
Thanks a bunch!
Kim Griffin
Big Yellow Box by Crayola
www.bigyellowbox.net/kc
-----Original Message-----
advise that we would for peaseful parenting. They advocate adversarial
relationships with children---especially teens! They strive to provide top-down
control in families. Rosemond pushes "vitamin N" (the word NO) as much as
possible.
time we meet. It's a nice start. But we *should* do that and be that person with
our families ALL the time.
start. In his mind, you are supposed to lay down th law the rest of the time!
advise that we would for peaseful parenting. They advocate adversarial
relationships with children---especially teens! They strive to provide top-down
control in families. Rosemond pushes "vitamin N" (the word NO) as much as
possible.
time we meet. It's a nice start. But we *should* do that and be that person with
our families ALL the time.
start. In his mind, you are supposed to lay down th law the rest of the time!
peanut butter, and chocolate chips. The kids *may* eat the chocolate chips
first---I don't notice. But when they deliver the platter back to the kitchen,
it's empty.
choose it because that's what's considered dessert---the forbidden fruit.
activity?
were discussing what students need to learn to go to college. A few of the
other parents were saying that they teach their children what they need to learn
to go to college because certain subjects are needed. I told them about the
recent posting on this group where the mother said that she would meet with
college officials and show her son's portfolio and resume, etc... I told them
that what unschoolers help me to realize is that there is always out of the box
experiences and approaches to life. Where everyone is taking Road A because
that is what we are told we are supposed to do in order to arrive at Place A,
unschoolers have helped me to realize that there are an infinite number of roads
that can get me to Road A.
realize that everything they were conditioned to believe makes a good parent is
up for question. This group has definitely busted parenting myths for me,
especially in the area of TV and candy eating. What I know that many parents
don't understand is that there is so much more freedom in this way of living. I
have more time to connect with my children rather than regulate them.
evenings.
quietly?
school education
fingers thru his main Or I might find out what it's like to ride a raindrop,"
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Leslie? Priss? Jill? Melinda? Anyone else with SMILE? Who's still allowed to read and post? <g>
~Kelly
Kelly Lovejoy
Conference Coordinator
Live and Learn Unschooling Conference
http://liveandlearnconference.org
-----Original Message-----
From: Kim <hopefull2005@...>
To: [email protected]
Sent: Thu, 19 Jan 2006 12:02:48 -0500 (EST)
Subject: [unschoolingbasics] SMILE
Hey Kelly~
Do you know if SMILE is still in business? I tried to get info, but got no
response and was just wondering if I should look elsewhere for an Option 3 place
for SC~
Thanks a bunch!
Kim Griffin
Big Yellow Box by Crayola
www.bigyellowbox.net/kc
-----Original Message-----
>From: [email protected]unschoolers are James Dobson and John Rosemond. They give the exact opposite
>Sent: Jan 19, 2006 11:55 AM
>To: [email protected]
>Subject: [unschoolingbasics] Digest Number 714
>
>There are 11 messages in this issue.
>
>Topics in this digest:
>
> 1. Re: Question about TV
> From: Joyce Fetteroll <fetteroll@...>
> 2. Re: New at unschooling
> From: Joyce Fetteroll <fetteroll@...>
> 3. Re: To Amy B re: Boomwhackers was Unschooling right this minute
> From: Amy Bowers <amybarbo@...>
> 4. Re: Re: Speaking of Bedtimes
> From: kbcdlovejo@...
> 5. Re: Re: Speaking of Bedtimes
> From: kbcdlovejo@...
> 6. Re: Star Wars
> From: "Deb" <soggyboysmom@...>
> 7. Re: Question about TV
> From: kbcdlovejo@...
> 8. Re: Question about TV
> From: "Deb" <soggyboysmom@...>
> 9. Re: Speaking of bedtimes
> From: "Mother Earth \(Tyra\)" <motherspirit@...>
> 10. Re: Re: bedtimes
> From: patricia tidmore <ptidmore1117@...>
> 11. Re: Question about TV
> From: "nrskay" <k_bird@...>
>
>
>________________________________________________________________________
>________________________________________________________________________
>
>Message: 1
> Date: Thu, 19 Jan 2006 05:35:26 -0500
> From: Joyce Fetteroll <fetteroll@...>
>Subject: Re: Question about TV
>
>
>On Jan 18, 2006, at 9:40 PM, jnjstau@... wrote:
>
>> If I did have a kid that was watching many hours of tv after the
>> initial binge, I would perhaps worry that she was bored or depressed.
>
>Or it could be a stage. My daughter went through a period from 10ish
>to 11ish where she watched a lot of TV and she's always unschooled
>and always had the freedom to watch as much as she wanted. She said
>she had writer's block. Perhaps she was filling up on stories. It
>didn't look like there was much going on. Yet now at 14 she writes a
>tremendous amount and watches little TV.
>
>And some other parents have said their preteens went through that
>phase too.
>
>I think part of it was not wanting to miss what might be coming on. I
>think there were two factors. There were a lot of programs she liked
>and she felt like she was at the mercy of the programmers who might
>sneak a new episode in or replay one of her favorites. I think TiVo
>would have helped by letting her capture everything she wanted to
>watch and letting her watch it when she wanted to. But in the
>meantime she got older and her interests changed.
>
>Joyce
>
>[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>
>
>
>________________________________________________________________________
>________________________________________________________________________
>
>Message: 2
> Date: Thu, 19 Jan 2006 05:58:52 -0500
> From: Joyce Fetteroll <fetteroll@...>
>Subject: Re: New at unschooling
>
>
>On Jan 18, 2006, at 3:35 PM, Aisha Abdul Rahman wrote:
>
>> We would play games, read some books, do some projects etc. It
>> seems that my kids do not
>> initiate this on their own, especially the oldest. All he wants to
>> do, is play games on the
>> computer all day. And the others want to watch TV all day.
>
>If you want to unschool it will help not to divide the world between
>what you want them to do/what you think is a good use of time and
>what they want to do. It should all be what they want to do plus
>ideas you bring in and offer.
>
>> They know what they can and cannot watch, and adhere to these
>> rules. BUT ALL DAY. So I
>> have limited the TV to the weekends only, and the computer to after
>> 3, unless playing an
>> educational game, or research etc.
>
>As said on the other thread, when things are limited they grow in
>importance.
>
>Think about your favorite thing in the world. Then imagine that
>someone only allows you to have it for 15 minutes a month. You could
>have it other times. It's right there and you could pick it up but
>you aren't allowed to. Imagine how much energy you would focus on
>that upcoming 15 minutes you were allowed. Imagine how you would try
>to sneak in as many minutes as you could get away with to expand the
>15 minutes when you had it. Imagine what you would do if you were
>alone and you knew no one would stop you from doing it even though it
>wasn't your permitted time.
>
>Rather than spending energy being a roadblock, spend energy helping
>them explore their interests. Sit with them or bring laundry in to
>fold while they watch their favorite programs or play on the
>computer. Ask them what they like about them. Walk along beside them
>as they explore rather than waiting off on the side beside something
>you wish they were interested in. But do be interested yourself and
>let that interest flow out to them. Show them things. They can't
>expand their interests if new ideas aren't running through their
>lives. But don't invest much in their interest. Your part is to be
>interested in things and share with them, not make them learn.
>
>> Any suggestions on motivating them to want to learn more, and
>> become more self directed
>> in their learning?
>
>Yes, be more interested in what they are exploring and what interests
>them right now.
>
>> i can come up with a project idea, and they are all for it, but
>> unless I sit right there with them,
>> they do not work on it very long, and they fight.
>
>Some kids do projects independently but that's personality, not an
>expectation. My daughter at 14 often enjoys doing crafts with me
>because it's the togetherness part she enjoys as much as the craft.
>And even when she's doing something on her own like drawing she likes
>to have me drawing at the same time.
>
>> OH THE FIGHTING. Some days, I just send them to their rooms to play.
>> I am getting so burnt out, I need to revamp.
>
>There's something that's stressing them. Can you talk more about
>what's going on? What are some recent scenarios?
>
>Joyce
>
>[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>
>
>
>________________________________________________________________________
>________________________________________________________________________
>
>Message: 3
> Date: Thu, 19 Jan 2006 07:11:08 -0500
> From: Amy Bowers <amybarbo@...>
>Subject: Re: To Amy B re: Boomwhackers was Unschooling right this minute
>
>Well, even if your kids don't like them - then you will have a new toy!
>
>Was it Danielle who wrote once about having a banging wall in her
>backyard? We live in an old neighborhood where the houses are close
>together - so I doubt my neighbors would like that, but this is a good
>way to release some energy and make some pleasing noises. They
>certainly sound better than all the saws, hammers, and lawnmowers that
>are always working away.
>
>This is what I really want for my backyard. My husband and I actually
>stopped by Parrott, GA on a road trip once while they were having
>their founders day celebration. Wow! So cool! In a small city, quaint,
>Elvis impersonating, clogging sort of way. But we went to this guys
>shop and I have been dreaming about it ever since.
>
> http://www.soundplay.com/
>http://www.pickens.k12.sc.us/clemson.es/CES/MusicGarden.htm
>
>
>Amy
>
>
>________________________________________________________________________
>________________________________________________________________________
>
>Message: 4
> Date: Thu, 19 Jan 2006 08:17:32 -0500
> From: kbcdlovejo@...
>Subject: Re: Re: Speaking of Bedtimes
>
>Two mainstream "professional" names that will bring out the worst in
advise that we would for peaseful parenting. They advocate adversarial
relationships with children---especially teens! They strive to provide top-down
control in families. Rosemond pushes "vitamin N" (the word NO) as much as
possible.
>them as possible.
>They're just really lousy advice givers. We suggest you stay as far away from
>Dobson advice. But I liked the part about greeting each other postively each
>When I read your bit on Dobson yesterdy, I groaned that someone was posting
time we meet. It's a nice start. But we *should* do that and be that person with
our families ALL the time.
>to have to say NO arbitrarily the rest of the day, so this is only a nice way to
>Unfortanately Dobson doesn't expect you to keep it up all day. He expects you
start. In his mind, you are supposed to lay down th law the rest of the time!
>unschoolers are James Dobson and John Rosemond. They give the exact opposite
>~Kelly
>
>Kelly Lovejoy
>Conference Coordinator
>Live and Learn Unschooling Conference
>http://liveandlearnconference.org
>
>
>-----Original Message-----
>
>I'm sorry you were offended. I felt that since this was a beginner
>list, that maybe a short term goal for a mom who was having trouble
>draggin kids out of bed in the morning would be helpful.
>
>I didn't read it as a trick. I didn't see him say to be nice for five
>minutes so you can beat your kids later. What it said was that those
>first few moments together can make a difference for the day. If a
>mom is dragging her kids out of bed, what tone is that setting for
>the rest of the day? I've seen that in myself as a new mom to this.
>
>
>[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>
>
>
>________________________________________________________________________
>________________________________________________________________________
>
>Message: 5
> Date: Thu, 19 Jan 2006 08:17:53 -0500
> From: kbcdlovejo@...
>Subject: Re: Re: Speaking of Bedtimes
>
>Two mainstream "professional" names that will bring out the worst in
advise that we would for peaseful parenting. They advocate adversarial
relationships with children---especially teens! They strive to provide top-down
control in families. Rosemond pushes "vitamin N" (the word NO) as much as
possible.
>them as possible.
>They're just really lousy advice givers. We suggest you stay as far away from
>Dobson advice. But I liked the part about greeting each other postively each
>When I read your bit on Dobson yesterdy, I groaned that someone was posting
time we meet. It's a nice start. But we *should* do that and be that person with
our families ALL the time.
>to have to say NO arbitrarily the rest of the day, so this is only a nice way to
>Unfortanately Dobson doesn't expect you to keep it up all day. He expects you
start. In his mind, you are supposed to lay down th law the rest of the time!
>carrots & cucumbers with dill dip, sliced pears, nuts, graham crackers wth
>~Kelly
>
>Kelly Lovejoy
>Conference Coordinator
>Live and Learn Unschooling Conference
>http://liveandlearnconference.org
>
>
>-----Original Message-----
>
>I'm sorry you were offended. I felt that since this was a beginner
>list, that maybe a short term goal for a mom who was having trouble
>draggin kids out of bed in the morning would be helpful.
>
>I didn't read it as a trick. I didn't see him say to be nice for five
>minutes so you can beat your kids later. What it said was that those
>first few moments together can make a difference for the day. If a
>mom is dragging her kids out of bed, what tone is that setting for
>the rest of the day? I've seen that in myself as a new mom to this.
>
>
>[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>
>
>
>________________________________________________________________________
>________________________________________________________________________
>
>Message: 6
> Date: Thu, 19 Jan 2006 13:40:06 -0000
> From: "Deb" <soggyboysmom@...>
>Subject: Re: Star Wars
>
>--- In [email protected], Daniel MacIntyre
><daniel.macintyre@g...> wrote:
>>
>> I HIGHLY recommend watching episode 4 first. It has the strongest
>>story
>> line of the lot, but if you watch the others ahead of it, you will
>>be
>> disappointed by the "primitive" special effects and slow >lightsaber
>duels
>> (obiwan and vader don't do much besides shake their weapons at
>>eachother).
>> Also, the revelation of luke and vader's relationship is something
>>you DON'T
>> want to spoil!
>
>I asked DH last night and he said basically the same thing - do them
>in the order they were released - for the same basic reasons.
>
>--Deb
>
>
>
>
>
>________________________________________________________________________
>________________________________________________________________________
>
>Message: 7
> Date: Thu, 19 Jan 2006 08:33:49 -0500
> From: kbcdlovejo@...
>Subject: Re: Question about TV
>
> -----Original Message-----
>From: Melissa <autismhelp@...>
>
>Of course, we also eat dessert before dinner, so take it the way you
>want. We've removed the power of sugar in our lives too, by eating it
>when we like. No urge to cram it, no urge to hoard it. We eat fresh
>fruits and veggies when we like as well. But the kids know what they
>really want. Sometimes I offer junk, and they ask for fruit.
>Sometimes I say I'm going to watch a movie, and they want to play
>outside.
>
>-=-=-
>
>Right. I make up monkey platters for Duncan. I'll have pita chips with hummus,
peanut butter, and chocolate chips. The kids *may* eat the chocolate chips
first---I don't notice. But when they deliver the platter back to the kitchen,
it's empty.
>EYES!---then they will choose what they want because they *can*. They won't
>If the TV is just one choice of many---AND ALL THE CHOICES ARE EQUAL IN *MY*
choose it because that's what's considered dessert---the forbidden fruit.
>our kids don't eat ice cream all day and are eager to drop TV for some other
>And how do you explain all of us who *have* stopped the arbitrary limiting? ANd
activity?
>have been discussing unschooling versus other styles of learning at home. We
>It works. It really does!
>
>~Kelly
>
>Kelly Lovejoy
>Conference Coordinator
>Live and Learn Unschooling Conference
>http://liveandlearnconference.org
>
>
>
>
>[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>
>
>
>________________________________________________________________________
>________________________________________________________________________
>
>Message: 8
> Date: Thu, 19 Jan 2006 13:58:57 -0000
> From: "Deb" <soggyboysmom@...>
>Subject: Re: Question about TV
>
>--- In [email protected], "ideydidey"
><susanpatton@c...> wrote:
>>
>> HI all,
>> I am new here, but I see that TV is a big part of a lot of people's
>> lives. I have always thought that watching TV all day fell in the
>>same
>> category as eating chocolate or ice cream all day, something that
>>even
>> as an unschooler I wouldn't allow - I still feel that I need to help
>> my child develop healthfully. So am I totally off-base on that? Does
>> anyone feel that way about TV (that it is addictive and not
>> particularly healthy for anyone and should be treated as "dessert"?)
>>
>> Just curious!
>>
>> Susan
>It's no bigger a part of our lives than any other thing, from books to
>music to Legos. Just as ice cream or chocolate are no more or less
>than a part of a whole balance of eating. Developing healthfully is
>learning balance of things, not separating out certain things as "bad
>for you" or "only a little bit now and then". There are times when I
>want lots of chocolate, so I eat lots of chocolate. There are times
>when one or two individual chocolate morsels is plenty and there are
>times when I'd rather have strawberries. Just so, there are times when
>I want lots of TV, times when I watch one or two favorites and that's
>all and times when I am doing other things entirely. Balance. By
>setting TV (or ice cream or cake or video games) out as something that
>has to be rationed and earned (by finishing all the peas or reading 2
>chapters or spending an hour out in the yard), it sets those things
>apart as more desirable *because* they are rationed. (BTW have you
>ever considered the whole 'finish all your supper before you have
>dessert concept? Basically what it is saying is fill yourself up and
>then you can have what you want, but by that time you're full, but you
>still want the cookie so you over fill - seems like if you just ate as
>much peas and as much chicken and as much cookie as you wanted it
>would all balance without over eating). DS calls ice cream et
>al 'dessert' since that's what it is called in the larger culture
>(check a restaurant menu for instance). However, if he chooses, he can
>have ice cream and then have a sandwich or can have both at the same
>time (except the ice cream tends to get melty if he's going back and
>forth). Manys the time that I've brought a double chocolate donut home
>from work (when our summer interns leave, for instance, tradition is
>that they bring donuts on their last day. I'll grab one and bring it
>home for DS). When I get home from work, dinner is usually cooking if
>not ready already. I'll give him the donut. Sometimes he saves it
>until after eating whatever is for dinner. Other times he eats the
>whole thing right away. And sometimes he'll eat part then eat dinner
>then eat the rest. Since it has no greater or lesser weight than
>anything else, no emotional ties, no hint of 'forbidden or
>restricted', he eats it as he chooses when he chooses in response to
>what his body says at the time. Of the three of us (me, DH, and DS) DS
>is the most likely to eat one cookie and stop or leave a dish of ice
>cream half eaten because he is done eating ice cream.
>
>Same for TV - he watches when he wants, what he wants, and when he is
>done, he moves to something else (and often he's doing something else
>in the middle of TV watching also) and vice versa - when he's done
>inthe yard or playing with Legos or whatever (when he's filled up on
>how much of it he wants) he can move to TV or video games if he
>chooses, if he has a 'taste' for it. Of us all, he is the least likely
>to 'veg out' in front of the TV. He'll leave the room or turn it off
>or simply ignore it (as he chooses) when he doesn't find anything he
>wants to watch, whereas DH and I will flip channels back and forth
>rather than turn it off.
>
>But, in food and TV and other things, we're learning a lot about
>balance and listening to our insides from DS and we're getting better
>about it.
>
>--Deb
>
>
>
>
>
>
>________________________________________________________________________
>________________________________________________________________________
>
>Message: 9
> Date: Thu, 19 Jan 2006 08:15:59 -0600
> From: "Mother Earth \(Tyra\)" <motherspirit@...>
>Subject: Re: Speaking of bedtimes
>
>
>>I think we should start our own series >called "Parenting Mythbusters"
>>where we explode all the current theories >about parenting.:)
>
>Ren,
>
>I just wrote to another group that I belong something in this same vein. We
were discussing what students need to learn to go to college. A few of the
other parents were saying that they teach their children what they need to learn
to go to college because certain subjects are needed. I told them about the
recent posting on this group where the mother said that she would meet with
college officials and show her son's portfolio and resume, etc... I told them
that what unschoolers help me to realize is that there is always out of the box
experiences and approaches to life. Where everyone is taking Road A because
that is what we are told we are supposed to do in order to arrive at Place A,
unschoolers have helped me to realize that there are an infinite number of roads
that can get me to Road A.
>that once parents talk to and see unschoolers in actions, it will make them
>So many parents think that unschooling equals less parenting, but I believe
realize that everything they were conditioned to believe makes a good parent is
up for question. This group has definitely busted parenting myths for me,
especially in the area of TV and candy eating. What I know that many parents
don't understand is that there is so much more freedom in this way of living. I
have more time to connect with my children rather than regulate them.
>with the boys just how much we need it to be quiet so that we can rest in the
>Much Love
>Tyra
>
>[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>
>
>
>________________________________________________________________________
>________________________________________________________________________
>
>Message: 10
> Date: Thu, 19 Jan 2006 05:55:56 -0800 (PST)
> From: patricia tidmore <ptidmore1117@...>
>Subject: Re: Re: bedtimes
>
>
>
>Thanks Kay,
> After reading your reply I am thinking maybe we aren't comunicating enough
evenings.
> We have explained our health problems,but maybe we are needing to EACH nightbefore going to our rooms ask them could they stay in THEIR room and play
quietly?
>education Graduate school education online High school education Chicago
> Tricia
>
>
>
>
>
> nrskay <k_bird@...> wrote:
> --- In [email protected], "nrskay" <k_bird@c...>
>wrote:
>>
>> I have fibromyalgia also, 52 yo and am totally toast by 6pm. My
>> 11 yo dd is aware, we play quiet games in the evening together
>like
>> sudoko, mindteasers or maze puzzles. Then she is ready to go
>online
>> with friends and I'm in bed by 10pm. She stays up anywhere from 2
>> to 3 hours past my bedtime, but she stays in her room so that the
>> house is quiet. In the am is when I have time to be online with
>you
>> guys while she sleeps.
>>
>> What about each going to their room and playing quietly? Climb in
>> bed with them, read a story, talk or watch a mellow program. If
>> they are lactose intolerant and like milk, maybe a snack with milk
>> will help comfort them. *****I meant to say "if they are NOT
>lactose intolerant what about some milk?"
>>
>> Kay
>
>
>
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>
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>
>
>
>
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>[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
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>
>
>________________________________________________________________________
>________________________________________________________________________
>
>Message: 11
> Date: Thu, 19 Jan 2006 16:22:19 -0000
> From: "nrskay" <k_bird@...>
>Subject: Re: Question about TV
>
>Hi Breezy:
>
>My 11 yo dd watched TV, played neopets and played PS2 almost non-stop
>for 6 months while she was deschooling. Now we enjoy all kinds of
>things together. We play PS2 and neopets together and watch some TV
>together. My biggest concern was the way she was shutting me out. Now
>she can't stand it if I'm not involved with what she is doing, (she's
>my youngest and only child at home).
>
>Let your son deschool, you and your hubby need to deschool too. It is
>not easy, I really struggled with whether I was ruining her life by
>letting her do this stuff all day. You will see the fruits of your
>relaxing when this stage is over.
>
>Kay
>
>
>
>
>
>
>________________________________________________________________________
>________________________________________________________________________
>
>
>
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