Mean Mom
Mother Earth (Tyra)
MabelHello to you all!
A mother posted the message below to a list for a local group of hsers to which I belong. Before Unschooling Basics, I don't think this would have struck me all that much. Since embracing RU, I think that I cannot believe that people really think that they are doing their children a favor by controlling them. I think that what I am most upset about is that I did not have the courage to post that I don't think that Mean Moms are the best and I am obviously a bad mom because I am not mean. It is not a group that is particularly open to discussing anything and I did not want to start anything but I am going to have to address these types of posts honestly in the future. There may some mothers who would benefit from hearing that it is okay to trust their children and to not control them.
Peace
Tyra
MESSAGE BEGINS
Be encouraged! It's OK that you're a "meanie"!
Blessings,
XXXXX
Mean Moms
Someday when my children are old enough to understand the logic that
motivates a parent, I will tell them, as my Mean Mom told me: I
loved you enough . . . to ask where you were going, with whom, and
what time you would be home. I loved you enough to be silent and let
you discover that your new best friend was a creep. I loved you
enough to make you go pay for the bubble gum you had taken and tell
the clerk, "I stole this yesterday and want to pay for it." I loved
you enough to stand over you for two hours while you cleaned your
room, a job that should have taken 15 minutes. I loved you enough to
let you see anger, disappointment, and tears in my eyes. Children
must learn that their parents aren't perfect. I loved you enough to
let you assume the responsibility for your actions even when the
penalties were so harsh they almost broke my heart.
But most of all, I loved you enough . . . to say NO, when I knew you would
hate me for it. Those were the most difficult battles of all. I'm glad I
won them, because in the end you won, too.
And someday when your children are old enough to understand the logic
that motivates parents, you will tell them.
Was your Mom mean? I know mine was. We had the meanest mother in the whole
world! While other kids ate candy for breakfast, we had to have cereal,
eggs, and toast. When others had a Pepsi and a Twinkie for lunch, we had to
eat sandwiches. And you can guess our mother fixed us a dinner that was
different from what other kids had, too. Mother insisted on knowing where
we were at all times! . You'd think we were convicts in a prison. She had
to know who our friends were, and what we were doing with them. She
insisted that if we said we would be gone for an hour, we would be gone for
an hour or less. We were ashamed to admit it, but she had the nerve to
break the Child Labor Laws by making us work. We had to wash the dishes,
make the beds, learn to cook, vacuum the floor, do laundry, empty the trash
and all sorts of cruel jobs. I think she would lie awake at night thinking
of more things for us to do. She always insisted on us telling the truth,
the whole truth, and nothing but the truth. By the time we were teenagers,
she could read our minds and had eyes in the back of her head. Then, life
was really tough!
Mother wouldn't let our friends just honk the horn when they drove up. They
had to come up to the door so she could meet them. While everyone else
could date when they were 12 or 13, we had to wait until we were 16.
Because of our mother we missed out on lots of things other kids
experienced. None of us have ever been caught shoplifting, vandalizing
other's property or ever arrested for any crime. It was all her fault. Now
that we have left home, we are all educated, honest adults. We are doing
our best to be mean parents just like Mom was.
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
A mother posted the message below to a list for a local group of hsers to which I belong. Before Unschooling Basics, I don't think this would have struck me all that much. Since embracing RU, I think that I cannot believe that people really think that they are doing their children a favor by controlling them. I think that what I am most upset about is that I did not have the courage to post that I don't think that Mean Moms are the best and I am obviously a bad mom because I am not mean. It is not a group that is particularly open to discussing anything and I did not want to start anything but I am going to have to address these types of posts honestly in the future. There may some mothers who would benefit from hearing that it is okay to trust their children and to not control them.
Peace
Tyra
MESSAGE BEGINS
Be encouraged! It's OK that you're a "meanie"!
Blessings,
XXXXX
Mean Moms
Someday when my children are old enough to understand the logic that
motivates a parent, I will tell them, as my Mean Mom told me: I
loved you enough . . . to ask where you were going, with whom, and
what time you would be home. I loved you enough to be silent and let
you discover that your new best friend was a creep. I loved you
enough to make you go pay for the bubble gum you had taken and tell
the clerk, "I stole this yesterday and want to pay for it." I loved
you enough to stand over you for two hours while you cleaned your
room, a job that should have taken 15 minutes. I loved you enough to
let you see anger, disappointment, and tears in my eyes. Children
must learn that their parents aren't perfect. I loved you enough to
let you assume the responsibility for your actions even when the
penalties were so harsh they almost broke my heart.
But most of all, I loved you enough . . . to say NO, when I knew you would
hate me for it. Those were the most difficult battles of all. I'm glad I
won them, because in the end you won, too.
And someday when your children are old enough to understand the logic
that motivates parents, you will tell them.
Was your Mom mean? I know mine was. We had the meanest mother in the whole
world! While other kids ate candy for breakfast, we had to have cereal,
eggs, and toast. When others had a Pepsi and a Twinkie for lunch, we had to
eat sandwiches. And you can guess our mother fixed us a dinner that was
different from what other kids had, too. Mother insisted on knowing where
we were at all times! . You'd think we were convicts in a prison. She had
to know who our friends were, and what we were doing with them. She
insisted that if we said we would be gone for an hour, we would be gone for
an hour or less. We were ashamed to admit it, but she had the nerve to
break the Child Labor Laws by making us work. We had to wash the dishes,
make the beds, learn to cook, vacuum the floor, do laundry, empty the trash
and all sorts of cruel jobs. I think she would lie awake at night thinking
of more things for us to do. She always insisted on us telling the truth,
the whole truth, and nothing but the truth. By the time we were teenagers,
she could read our minds and had eyes in the back of her head. Then, life
was really tough!
Mother wouldn't let our friends just honk the horn when they drove up. They
had to come up to the door so she could meet them. While everyone else
could date when they were 12 or 13, we had to wait until we were 16.
Because of our mother we missed out on lots of things other kids
experienced. None of us have ever been caught shoplifting, vandalizing
other's property or ever arrested for any crime. It was all her fault. Now
that we have left home, we are all educated, honest adults. We are doing
our best to be mean parents just like Mom was.
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Danielle Conger
Mother Earth (Tyra) wrote:
Someday, when my children are older, I will tell them:
I loved you enough to care about where you were going, with whom, and
what time you'd be home and to help you get there, have fun, and come home.
I loved you enough to be silent when you needed me to be silent and to
be there when you needed to talk, to give you the space to discover for
yourself who your true friends were and to help you pick up the pieces
when you were hurt.
I loved you enough to help you pay for the bubble gum you wanted and to
make things right when they felt wrong.
I loved you enough to stand by you for a lifetime, to be by your side
for two hours while we cleaned your room, a job that would have taken me
15 minutes, but the conversation was too precious to lose.
You learned that I wasn't perfect as we shared our lives together.
I loved you enough to let you make choices even when the stakes were
high and to help bear your burden whenever I could.
But most of all, I loved you enough to always help you get what you
needed, to put our relationship first and to walk in your shoes instead
of engaging in battles.
I'm glad you came to me, because in the end, you've helped me grow and
become a better person, so I won, too, in this relationship.
And someday, when your children are old enough to understand the
principles that guide this legacy of parenting, I hope you tell them how
they helped you grow and become a better person.
Okay, and now I've almost made myself cry, so I'll just click "send"
before I go any further.
--
~~Danielle
Emily (8), Julia (7), Sam (5)
http://www.danielleconger.com/Homeschool/Welcomehome.html
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
"With our thoughts, we make the world." ~~Buddha
>Just for kicks, I wanted to write this out as it would look for me....
> Someday when my children are old enough to understand the logic that
> motivates a parent, I will tell them, as my Mean Mom told me: I
> loved you enough . . . to ask where you were going, with whom, and
> what time you would be home. I loved you enough to be silent
> and let
> you discover that your new best friend was a creep. I loved you
> enough to make you go pay for the bubble gum you had taken and tell
> the clerk, "I stole this yesterday and want to pay for it." I loved
> you enough to stand over you for two hours while you cleaned your
> room, a job that should have taken 15 minutes. I loved you
> enough to
> let you see anger, disappointment, and tears in my eyes. Children
> must learn that their parents aren't perfect. I loved you enough to
> let you assume the responsibility for your actions even when the
> penalties were so harsh they almost broke my heart.
> But most of all, I loved you enough . . . to say NO, when I knew you would
> hate me for it. Those were the most difficult battles of all. I'm glad I
> won them, because in the end you won, too.
> And someday when your children are old enough to understand the logic
> that motivates parents, you will tell them.
Someday, when my children are older, I will tell them:
I loved you enough to care about where you were going, with whom, and
what time you'd be home and to help you get there, have fun, and come home.
I loved you enough to be silent when you needed me to be silent and to
be there when you needed to talk, to give you the space to discover for
yourself who your true friends were and to help you pick up the pieces
when you were hurt.
I loved you enough to help you pay for the bubble gum you wanted and to
make things right when they felt wrong.
I loved you enough to stand by you for a lifetime, to be by your side
for two hours while we cleaned your room, a job that would have taken me
15 minutes, but the conversation was too precious to lose.
You learned that I wasn't perfect as we shared our lives together.
I loved you enough to let you make choices even when the stakes were
high and to help bear your burden whenever I could.
But most of all, I loved you enough to always help you get what you
needed, to put our relationship first and to walk in your shoes instead
of engaging in battles.
I'm glad you came to me, because in the end, you've helped me grow and
become a better person, so I won, too, in this relationship.
And someday, when your children are old enough to understand the
principles that guide this legacy of parenting, I hope you tell them how
they helped you grow and become a better person.
Okay, and now I've almost made myself cry, so I'll just click "send"
before I go any further.
--
~~Danielle
Emily (8), Julia (7), Sam (5)
http://www.danielleconger.com/Homeschool/Welcomehome.html
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
"With our thoughts, we make the world." ~~Buddha
[email protected]
-----Original Message-----
From: Danielle Conger danielle.conger@...
Okay, and now I've almost made myself cry, so I'll just click "send"
before I go any further.
--
~~Danielle
-=-=-
Wow!
Looks like a really nice handbook contribution!
~Kelly
Kelly Lovejoy
Conference Coordinator
Live and Learn Unschooling Conference
http://liveandlearnconference.org
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
From: Danielle Conger danielle.conger@...
Okay, and now I've almost made myself cry, so I'll just click "send"
before I go any further.
--
~~Danielle
-=-=-
Wow!
Looks like a really nice handbook contribution!
~Kelly
Kelly Lovejoy
Conference Coordinator
Live and Learn Unschooling Conference
http://liveandlearnconference.org
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
[email protected]
>>Just for kicks, I wanted to write this out as it would look for me....Someday, when my children are older, I will tell them:...>>
Thanks Danielle. I was going to do the same thing. You worded it beautifully.
--
~Mary
"The miracle is not to walk on water. The miracle is to walk on the
green earth, dwelling deeply in the present moment and feeling truly
alive."
-------------- Original message ----------------------
From: Danielle Conger <danielle.conger@...>
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Mother Earth (Tyra)
BEAUTIFUL Danielle! BEAUTIFUL! Thank you and I will forward this on.
Much love
Tyra
Just for kicks, I wanted to write this out as it would look for me....
Someday, when my children are older, I will tell them:
I loved you enough to care about where you were going, with whom, and
what time you'd be home and to help you get there, have fun, and come home.
I loved you enough to be silent when you needed me to be silent and to
be there when you needed to talk, to give you the space to discover for
yourself who your true friends were and to help you pick up the pieces
when you were hurt.
I loved you enough to help you pay for the bubble gum you wanted and to
make things right when they felt wrong.
I loved you enough to stand by you for a lifetime, to be by your side
for two hours while we cleaned your room, a job that would have taken me
15 minutes, but the conversation was too precious to lose.
You learned that I wasn't perfect as we shared our lives together.
I loved you enough to let you make choices even when the stakes were
high and to help bear your burden whenever I could.
But most of all, I loved you enough to always help you get what you
needed, to put our relationship first and to walk in your shoes instead
of engaging in battles.
I'm glad you came to me, because in the end, you've helped me grow and
become a better person, so I won, too, in this relationship.
And someday, when your children are old enough to understand the
principles that guide this legacy of parenting, I hope you tell them how
they helped you grow and become a better person.
Okay, and now I've almost made myself cry, so I'll just click "send"
before I go any further.
--
~~Danielle
Emily (8), Julia (7), Sam (5)
http://www.danielleconger.com/Homeschool/Welcomehome.html
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
"With our thoughts, we make the world." ~~Buddha
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[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Much love
Tyra
Just for kicks, I wanted to write this out as it would look for me....
Someday, when my children are older, I will tell them:
I loved you enough to care about where you were going, with whom, and
what time you'd be home and to help you get there, have fun, and come home.
I loved you enough to be silent when you needed me to be silent and to
be there when you needed to talk, to give you the space to discover for
yourself who your true friends were and to help you pick up the pieces
when you were hurt.
I loved you enough to help you pay for the bubble gum you wanted and to
make things right when they felt wrong.
I loved you enough to stand by you for a lifetime, to be by your side
for two hours while we cleaned your room, a job that would have taken me
15 minutes, but the conversation was too precious to lose.
You learned that I wasn't perfect as we shared our lives together.
I loved you enough to let you make choices even when the stakes were
high and to help bear your burden whenever I could.
But most of all, I loved you enough to always help you get what you
needed, to put our relationship first and to walk in your shoes instead
of engaging in battles.
I'm glad you came to me, because in the end, you've helped me grow and
become a better person, so I won, too, in this relationship.
And someday, when your children are old enough to understand the
principles that guide this legacy of parenting, I hope you tell them how
they helped you grow and become a better person.
Okay, and now I've almost made myself cry, so I'll just click "send"
before I go any further.
--
~~Danielle
Emily (8), Julia (7), Sam (5)
http://www.danielleconger.com/Homeschool/Welcomehome.html
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
"With our thoughts, we make the world." ~~Buddha
SPONSORED LINKS
Secondary school education Graduate school education Home school education
Graduate school education online High school education Chicago school education
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
YAHOO! GROUPS LINKS
a.. Visit your group "unschoolingbasics" on the web.
b.. To unsubscribe from this group, send an email to:
[email protected]
c.. Your use of Yahoo! Groups is subject to the Yahoo! Terms of Service.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Ren Allen
"Okay, and now I've almost made myself cry, so I'll just click "send"
before I go any further."
You'll probably make a few more of us tear up before it's over....that
was AWESEOME Danielle!! I'm really glad you took the time to write
such a sweet and perfect response to that very ugly "mean Mom" letter.
Maybe Danielle's letter can become the standard response when anyone
posts that damn thing. Lovely.:)
Ren
learninginfreedom.com
before I go any further."
You'll probably make a few more of us tear up before it's over....that
was AWESEOME Danielle!! I'm really glad you took the time to write
such a sweet and perfect response to that very ugly "mean Mom" letter.
Maybe Danielle's letter can become the standard response when anyone
posts that damn thing. Lovely.:)
Ren
learninginfreedom.com
elizabeth roberts
Danielle,
I enjoyed that response to "Mean Mom" as well! I don't think it's mean to take care of your children, but some of that antagonistic me-versus-you dynamic is mean. Why should it be laughed at, that someone considers themselves "mean" to their children and apparently enjoys it?! Yuck!
Beth, NC
Sing, Dance, Laugh...LOVE!
---------------------------------
Yahoo! Photos Showcase holiday pictures in hardcover
Photo Books. You design it and well bind it!
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
I enjoyed that response to "Mean Mom" as well! I don't think it's mean to take care of your children, but some of that antagonistic me-versus-you dynamic is mean. Why should it be laughed at, that someone considers themselves "mean" to their children and apparently enjoys it?! Yuck!
Beth, NC
Sing, Dance, Laugh...LOVE!
---------------------------------
Yahoo! Photos Showcase holiday pictures in hardcover
Photo Books. You design it and well bind it!
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]