cursing
patricia tidmore
My ds has picked up the atr of cursing after spending lots of time with his 2 cousins during the holidays and also wanting to listen to Mr.Big. ( a really vulgar mouthed rapper.) While I don't really have a problem with this,many,many of my relatives and friends think it is unacceptible behavior.
I guess what I need from all of you is should I try to "nip it in the bud" or just leave him be.
I really think it is just something that will go away by itself since he just picked it up because he thinks the cousins are cool.But could I be wrong? Should I "do" something?
Tricia
"I am learning al the time,the tombstone will be my diploma"-Eartha Kitt
Do not follow where the path may lead.Go instead where there is no path and leave a trail...
"When I get to where I'm going on the other side of the sky the first thing I'm gonna do is spread my wings and fly I'm gonna land besidwe a lion and run my fingers thru his main Or I might find out what it's like to ride a raindrop,"
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I guess what I need from all of you is should I try to "nip it in the bud" or just leave him be.
I really think it is just something that will go away by itself since he just picked it up because he thinks the cousins are cool.But could I be wrong? Should I "do" something?
Tricia
"I am learning al the time,the tombstone will be my diploma"-Eartha Kitt
Do not follow where the path may lead.Go instead where there is no path and leave a trail...
"When I get to where I'm going on the other side of the sky the first thing I'm gonna do is spread my wings and fly I'm gonna land besidwe a lion and run my fingers thru his main Or I might find out what it's like to ride a raindrop,"
---------------------------------
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Robyn Coburn
<<<My ds has picked up the atr of cursing after spending lots of time with
his 2 cousins during the holidays and also wanting to listen to Mr.Big. ( a
really vulgar mouthed rapper.) While I don't really have a problem with
this,many,many of my relatives and friends think it is unacceptible
behavior.
I guess what I need from all of you is should I try to "nip it in the bud"
or just leave him be.
I really think it is just something that will go away by itself since he
just picked it up because he thinks the cousins are cool.But could I be
wrong? Should I "do" something?>>>>>
Nip it or leave it are not your only choices. You could also give him,
without getting emotional, the accurate information that some of his
relatives might be offended by it, and that some people will make negative
judgments about him, and you as his parent, because of it. That there are
places where different styles of language are appropriate, and that
deliberately flouting convention can have consequences - so that his speech
is mindful.
Jayn sometimes swears. She seems to use the words "properly" and for her own
private reasons - I mean not to shock or annoy the adults around her. We
have not made those words particularly powerful.
Robyn L. Coburn
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his 2 cousins during the holidays and also wanting to listen to Mr.Big. ( a
really vulgar mouthed rapper.) While I don't really have a problem with
this,many,many of my relatives and friends think it is unacceptible
behavior.
I guess what I need from all of you is should I try to "nip it in the bud"
or just leave him be.
I really think it is just something that will go away by itself since he
just picked it up because he thinks the cousins are cool.But could I be
wrong? Should I "do" something?>>>>>
Nip it or leave it are not your only choices. You could also give him,
without getting emotional, the accurate information that some of his
relatives might be offended by it, and that some people will make negative
judgments about him, and you as his parent, because of it. That there are
places where different styles of language are appropriate, and that
deliberately flouting convention can have consequences - so that his speech
is mindful.
Jayn sometimes swears. She seems to use the words "properly" and for her own
private reasons - I mean not to shock or annoy the adults around her. We
have not made those words particularly powerful.
Robyn L. Coburn
--
No virus found in this outgoing message.
Checked by AVG Free Edition.
Version: 7.1.371 / Virus Database: 267.14.15/223 - Release Date: 1/6/2006
patricia tidmore
Yeah,I meant to mention that he only does this around the cousins or us.And I haven't
commented on it at all.But since reading what you've written I will mention the consequences
of offending people if he should use this language around others.
Thanks Robin,
Tricia
Robyn Coburn <dezigna@...> wrote:
<<his 2 cousins during the holidays and also wanting to listen to Mr.Big. ( a
really vulgar mouthed rapper.) While I don't really have a problem with
this,many,many of my relatives and friends think it is unacceptible
behavior.
I guess what I need from all of you is should I try to "nip it in the bud"
or just leave him be.
I really think it is just something that will go away by itself since he
just picked it up because he thinks the cousins are cool.But could I be
wrong? Should I "do" something?>>>>>
Nip it or leave it are not your only choices. You could also give him,
without getting emotional, the accurate information that some of his
relatives might be offended by it, and that some people will make negative
judgments about him, and you as his parent, because of it. That there are
places where different styles of language are appropriate, and that
deliberately flouting convention can have consequences - so that his speech
is mindful.
Jayn sometimes swears. She seems to use the words "properly" and for her own
private reasons - I mean not to shock or annoy the adults around her. We
have not made those words particularly powerful.
Robyn L. Coburn
--
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Checked by AVG Free Edition.
Version: 7.1.371 / Virus Database: 267.14.15/223 - Release Date: 1/6/2006
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commented on it at all.But since reading what you've written I will mention the consequences
of offending people if he should use this language around others.
Thanks Robin,
Tricia
Robyn Coburn <dezigna@...> wrote:
<<his 2 cousins during the holidays and also wanting to listen to Mr.Big. ( a
really vulgar mouthed rapper.) While I don't really have a problem with
this,many,many of my relatives and friends think it is unacceptible
behavior.
I guess what I need from all of you is should I try to "nip it in the bud"
or just leave him be.
I really think it is just something that will go away by itself since he
just picked it up because he thinks the cousins are cool.But could I be
wrong? Should I "do" something?>>>>>
Nip it or leave it are not your only choices. You could also give him,
without getting emotional, the accurate information that some of his
relatives might be offended by it, and that some people will make negative
judgments about him, and you as his parent, because of it. That there are
places where different styles of language are appropriate, and that
deliberately flouting convention can have consequences - so that his speech
is mindful.
Jayn sometimes swears. She seems to use the words "properly" and for her own
private reasons - I mean not to shock or annoy the adults around her. We
have not made those words particularly powerful.
Robyn L. Coburn
--
No virus found in this outgoing message.
Checked by AVG Free Edition.
Version: 7.1.371 / Virus Database: 267.14.15/223 - Release Date: 1/6/2006
Yahoo! Groups Links
---------------------------------
Yahoo! Photos Showcase holiday pictures in hardcover
Photo Books. You design it and well bind it!
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
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I don't know how old your son is but I think you would be doing him a favor by explaining how people may react to his choice of words. I found that when I explained what the words meant and how that might be offensive, my children curbed their use to mostly appropriate situations rather than just flinging them out without much thought as to the audience.
My 15yo daughter is a fairly traditional kid, a nice kid, not into bucking the system. She went shopping with a friend and came home with a t-shirt that had a cactus on it and said "Beware of pricks". I didn't say anything about it but I was surprised because that just isn't her usual way of acting. She spent the night with a friend and when she gets home, I realize that she wore that t-shirt to church and out to lunch with the friend's quite religious family.
I pointed out to Adriane that she might want to be careful, that some people might be offended. She looked at me funny and asked me what "prick" meant so I told her. She was horrified and embarrassed...she had thought it meant something along the lines of a stupid person.
Julie S.
My 15yo daughter is a fairly traditional kid, a nice kid, not into bucking the system. She went shopping with a friend and came home with a t-shirt that had a cactus on it and said "Beware of pricks". I didn't say anything about it but I was surprised because that just isn't her usual way of acting. She spent the night with a friend and when she gets home, I realize that she wore that t-shirt to church and out to lunch with the friend's quite religious family.
I pointed out to Adriane that she might want to be careful, that some people might be offended. She looked at me funny and asked me what "prick" meant so I told her. She was horrified and embarrassed...she had thought it meant something along the lines of a stupid person.
Julie S.
----- Original Message -----
From: patricia tidmore <ptidmore1117@...>
Date: Sunday, January 8, 2006 8:24 am
Subject: [unschoolingbasics] cursing
> My ds has picked up the atr of cursing after spending lots of time
> with his 2 cousins during the holidays and also wanting to listen
> to Mr.Big. ( a really vulgar mouthed rapper.) While I don't really
> have a problem with this,many,many of my relatives and friends
> think it is unacceptible behavior.
> I guess what I need from all of you is should I try to "nip it
> in the bud" or just leave him be.
> I really think it is just something that will go away by itself
> since he just picked it up because he thinks the cousins are
> cool.But could I be wrong? Should I "do" something?
>
> Tricia
>
>
> "I am learning al the time,the tombstone will be my diploma"-
> Eartha Kitt
>
> Do not follow where the path may lead.Go instead where there is no
> path and leave a trail...
>
> "When I get to where I'm going on the other side of the sky the
> first thing I'm gonna do is spread my wings and fly I'm gonna land
> besidwe a lion and run my fingers thru his main Or I might find
> out what it's like to ride a raindrop,"
>
> ---------------------------------
> Yahoo! Photos
> Ring in the New Year with Photo Calendars. Add photos, events,
> holidays, whatever.
>
> [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>
>
>
>
> Yahoo! Groups Links
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
Ren Allen
"I really think it is just something that will go away by itself since
he just
picked it up because he thinks the cousins are cool.But could I be
wrong? Should
I "do" something?"
Depending on his age, I would point out when it is likely to upset
other people and when it isn't. When Jalen started doing this (around
two) I tried to explain over and over that we can't talk that way in
front of certain people. It happened anyway. My sweet, bun-headed,
cookie baking Grandma was quite appalled, but she handled it pretty
well..."Oh, no we don't call people that name!":)
He now knows that we don't use those words in general, but at home I
don't make a big deal out of it. Dh hates cussing, but he's gotten
used to an occasional "ass" or "damn". It's just words after all, it's
the intent behind them that really matters. I'd rather hear someone
say "OH F***!" in frustration than "You idiot" being mean towards
another human.
Ren
he just
picked it up because he thinks the cousins are cool.But could I be
wrong? Should
I "do" something?"
Depending on his age, I would point out when it is likely to upset
other people and when it isn't. When Jalen started doing this (around
two) I tried to explain over and over that we can't talk that way in
front of certain people. It happened anyway. My sweet, bun-headed,
cookie baking Grandma was quite appalled, but she handled it pretty
well..."Oh, no we don't call people that name!":)
He now knows that we don't use those words in general, but at home I
don't make a big deal out of it. Dh hates cussing, but he's gotten
used to an occasional "ass" or "damn". It's just words after all, it's
the intent behind them that really matters. I'd rather hear someone
say "OH F***!" in frustration than "You idiot" being mean towards
another human.
Ren
patricia tidmore
Thanks Ren,
I agree I had rather anyone say "f*** You" to another person than to call them stupid or refer to them
as an idiot.
And so far even though he thinks these 2 cousins are extremely cool he hasn't picked up on the
bullying part.He is a very loving guy and wouldn't hurt a fly...literally will NOT see anyone hurt any
living thing.
Although his pdoc (he is bipolar) says that we can expect a huge change negatively at adolescence,I
don't forsee it being as bad as say if he was in ps.I am so in love with unschooling I think it has become my religion<BWG>
Tricia
Ren Allen <starsuncloud@...> wrote:
"I really think it is just something that will go away by itself since
he just
picked it up because he thinks the cousins are cool.But could I be
wrong? Should
I "do" something?"
Depending on his age, I would point out when it is likely to upset
other people and when it isn't. When Jalen started doing this (around
two) I tried to explain over and over that we can't talk that way in
front of certain people. It happened anyway. My sweet, bun-headed,
cookie baking Grandma was quite appalled, but she handled it pretty
well..."Oh, no we don't call people that name!":)
He now knows that we don't use those words in general, but at home I
don't make a big deal out of it. Dh hates cussing, but he's gotten
used to an occasional "ass" or "damn". It's just words after all, it's
the intent behind them that really matters. I'd rather hear someone
say "OH F***!" in frustration than "You idiot" being mean towards
another human.
Ren
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"I am learning al the time,the tombstone will be my diploma"-Eartha Kitt
Do not follow where the path may lead.Go instead where there is no path and leave a trail...
"When I get to where I'm going on the other side of the sky the first thing I'm gonna do is spread my wings and fly I'm gonna land besidwe a lion and run my fingers thru his main Or I might find out what it's like to ride a raindrop,"
---------------------------------
Yahoo! Photos
Ring in the New Year with Photo Calendars. Add photos, events, holidays, whatever.
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
I agree I had rather anyone say "f*** You" to another person than to call them stupid or refer to them
as an idiot.
And so far even though he thinks these 2 cousins are extremely cool he hasn't picked up on the
bullying part.He is a very loving guy and wouldn't hurt a fly...literally will NOT see anyone hurt any
living thing.
Although his pdoc (he is bipolar) says that we can expect a huge change negatively at adolescence,I
don't forsee it being as bad as say if he was in ps.I am so in love with unschooling I think it has become my religion<BWG>
Tricia
Ren Allen <starsuncloud@...> wrote:
"I really think it is just something that will go away by itself since
he just
picked it up because he thinks the cousins are cool.But could I be
wrong? Should
I "do" something?"
Depending on his age, I would point out when it is likely to upset
other people and when it isn't. When Jalen started doing this (around
two) I tried to explain over and over that we can't talk that way in
front of certain people. It happened anyway. My sweet, bun-headed,
cookie baking Grandma was quite appalled, but she handled it pretty
well..."Oh, no we don't call people that name!":)
He now knows that we don't use those words in general, but at home I
don't make a big deal out of it. Dh hates cussing, but he's gotten
used to an occasional "ass" or "damn". It's just words after all, it's
the intent behind them that really matters. I'd rather hear someone
say "OH F***!" in frustration than "You idiot" being mean towards
another human.
Ren
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---------------------------------
"I am learning al the time,the tombstone will be my diploma"-Eartha Kitt
Do not follow where the path may lead.Go instead where there is no path and leave a trail...
"When I get to where I'm going on the other side of the sky the first thing I'm gonna do is spread my wings and fly I'm gonna land besidwe a lion and run my fingers thru his main Or I might find out what it's like to ride a raindrop,"
---------------------------------
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patricia tidmore
Thanks Julie,
That reminds me of something along those same lines my ds did awhile back.There is a store in town named "The cool store" and he bought himself a T shirt there with the words "what would Jesse do" and a fist.He loves Jesse James and after spending the night and going to church with a neighbor I found out he wore the shirt to church.So I explained the "what would Jesus do" to him and that the Christians in the church may have been offended and he was also embarassed.He hadn't connected the two.
My ds is 10 and since my original post I have explained all of this.He only does it when the "cool cousins' are here and has admitted that he was doing it because they had told him what a dork he was and how if he went to school he would learn how to not be such a dork.Grrrrrrrrr!
But I think with all this cool info I will have a much easier time with it.
Thanks Guys,
Tricia
jnjstau@... wrote:
I don't know how old your son is but I think you would be doing him a favor by explaining how people may react to his choice of words. I found that when I explained what the words meant and how that might be offensive, my children curbed their use to mostly appropriate situations rather than just flinging them out without much thought as to the audience.
My 15yo daughter is a fairly traditional kid, a nice kid, not into bucking the system. She went shopping with a friend and came home with a t-shirt that had a cactus on it and said "Beware of pricks". I didn't say anything about it but I was surprised because that just isn't her usual way of acting. She spent the night with a friend and when she gets home, I realize that she wore that t-shirt to church and out to lunch with the friend's quite religious family.
I pointed out to Adriane that she might want to be careful, that some people might be offended. She looked at me funny and asked me what "prick" meant so I told her. She was horrified and embarrassed...she had thought it meant something along the lines of a stupid person.
Julie S.
That reminds me of something along those same lines my ds did awhile back.There is a store in town named "The cool store" and he bought himself a T shirt there with the words "what would Jesse do" and a fist.He loves Jesse James and after spending the night and going to church with a neighbor I found out he wore the shirt to church.So I explained the "what would Jesus do" to him and that the Christians in the church may have been offended and he was also embarassed.He hadn't connected the two.
My ds is 10 and since my original post I have explained all of this.He only does it when the "cool cousins' are here and has admitted that he was doing it because they had told him what a dork he was and how if he went to school he would learn how to not be such a dork.Grrrrrrrrr!
But I think with all this cool info I will have a much easier time with it.
Thanks Guys,
Tricia
jnjstau@... wrote:
I don't know how old your son is but I think you would be doing him a favor by explaining how people may react to his choice of words. I found that when I explained what the words meant and how that might be offensive, my children curbed their use to mostly appropriate situations rather than just flinging them out without much thought as to the audience.
My 15yo daughter is a fairly traditional kid, a nice kid, not into bucking the system. She went shopping with a friend and came home with a t-shirt that had a cactus on it and said "Beware of pricks". I didn't say anything about it but I was surprised because that just isn't her usual way of acting. She spent the night with a friend and when she gets home, I realize that she wore that t-shirt to church and out to lunch with the friend's quite religious family.
I pointed out to Adriane that she might want to be careful, that some people might be offended. She looked at me funny and asked me what "prick" meant so I told her. She was horrified and embarrassed...she had thought it meant something along the lines of a stupid person.
Julie S.
----- Original Message -----
From: patricia tidmore <ptidmore1117@...>
Date: Sunday, January 8, 2006 8:24 am
Subject: [unschoolingbasics] cursing
> My ds has picked up the atr of cursing after spending lots of time
> with his 2 cousins during the holidays and also wanting to listen
> to Mr.Big. ( a really vulgar mouthed rapper.) While I don't really
> have a problem with this,many,many of my relatives and friends
> think it is unacceptible behavior.
> I guess what I need from all of you is should I try to "nip it
> in the bud" or just leave him be.
> I really think it is just something that will go away by itself
> since he just picked it up because he thinks the cousins are
> cool.But could I be wrong? Should I "do" something?
>
> Tricia
>
>
> "I am learning al the time,the tombstone will be my diploma"-
> Eartha Kitt
>
> Do not follow where the path may lead.Go instead where there is no
> path and leave a trail...
>
> "When I get to where I'm going on the other side of the sky the
> first thing I'm gonna do is spread my wings and fly I'm gonna land
> besidwe a lion and run my fingers thru his main Or I might find
> out what it's like to ride a raindrop,"
>
> ---------------------------------
> Yahoo! Photos
> Ring in the New Year with Photo Calendars. Add photos, events,
> holidays, whatever.
>
> [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>
>
>
>
> Yahoo! Groups Links
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
SPONSORED LINKS
Secondary school education Graduate school education Home school education Graduate school education online High school education Chicago school education
---------------------------------
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Visit your group "unschoolingbasics" on the web.
To unsubscribe from this group, send an email to:
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---------------------------------
"I am learning al the time,the tombstone will be my diploma"-Eartha Kitt
Do not follow where the path may lead.Go instead where there is no path and leave a trail...
"When I get to where I'm going on the other side of the sky the first thing I'm gonna do is spread my wings and fly I'm gonna land besidwe a lion and run my fingers thru his main Or I might find out what it's like to ride a raindrop,"
---------------------------------
Yahoo! Photos
Ring in the New Year with Photo Calendars. Add photos, events, holidays, whatever.
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]