Can I vent here? (long post w/ ?)
multimomma
I know I'm new to all this, but I'm trying hard. My hubby, however, is not. He is (sorta) okay
with the not schooling on purpose (he probably thinks it's a phase), but everything else.
Ugh, I can't even begin to describe it, and maybe it's just newbaby hormones, but it
honestly seems like he's trying to make things *harder* for me! When I talked to him about
not forcing the kids to do chores, etc, he kind of laughed it off and said that he'll see how
long I last. I mean, I thought he understood all the lead up, agreed when we talked about
how when WE do chores we don't think twice about sitting down to rest or grabbing a soda
or whatever. Every time I turned around today, he did something that he totally would not
have done before though. Including hiding all the game pieces that were accidentally left
out when the kids (voluntarily!) cleaned up their games. His pet peeve is that he's a
workaholic (Iike me) but wants everyone else to bust their butts working all the time
(unlike me).
I can deal with the kids, but I'm about to kill my husband. I was going to talk to him
tonight, but I think I need to rationally think for a day or two, and get advice from other
parents who had to deal with partners who didn't back them up. (or maybe purposefully
sabotaged!) I'm so tired anyway, I don't need this kind of crap. I don't understand why he
was willing to split housework 50/50 before the kids were able to help, but isn't willing to
do it now. It's like his job is to make sure the kids do all the work. grrr! Considering how
much work they did when I was on bedrest, and they're still so young.
Does this make sense? I know it's late and I'm still not asleep, AND I have a cold, so maybe
I'm not making sense. I just know that I'm mad enough to lay in bed and stew, so I wanted
to come and post here just to get it off my chest and see if someone has some advice for
me. I know it's hard on dh, I get frustrated too. Throughout this pregnancy things have
changed significantly in our lives, our relationship with each other, with the kids, etc. He's
had to take on a lot of roles that I've covered since marriage (Ha! I did everything until the
bedrest, housework, yard work, car maintainance, bills, therapy, schoolwork) In less than
nine months, he's doing much of this, we started homeschooling, I've changed my
parenting, but doesn't it seem that he should be able to roll with the punches? I'm not
asking him to do more work, just support me as I take on more. Or at least be respectful
of the what the kids do, and when they do it.
Thanks for listening, I hope this was ok to post such a long vent, I think I'll go back and
put that in my subject line as a warning!!!
melissa
with the not schooling on purpose (he probably thinks it's a phase), but everything else.
Ugh, I can't even begin to describe it, and maybe it's just newbaby hormones, but it
honestly seems like he's trying to make things *harder* for me! When I talked to him about
not forcing the kids to do chores, etc, he kind of laughed it off and said that he'll see how
long I last. I mean, I thought he understood all the lead up, agreed when we talked about
how when WE do chores we don't think twice about sitting down to rest or grabbing a soda
or whatever. Every time I turned around today, he did something that he totally would not
have done before though. Including hiding all the game pieces that were accidentally left
out when the kids (voluntarily!) cleaned up their games. His pet peeve is that he's a
workaholic (Iike me) but wants everyone else to bust their butts working all the time
(unlike me).
I can deal with the kids, but I'm about to kill my husband. I was going to talk to him
tonight, but I think I need to rationally think for a day or two, and get advice from other
parents who had to deal with partners who didn't back them up. (or maybe purposefully
sabotaged!) I'm so tired anyway, I don't need this kind of crap. I don't understand why he
was willing to split housework 50/50 before the kids were able to help, but isn't willing to
do it now. It's like his job is to make sure the kids do all the work. grrr! Considering how
much work they did when I was on bedrest, and they're still so young.
Does this make sense? I know it's late and I'm still not asleep, AND I have a cold, so maybe
I'm not making sense. I just know that I'm mad enough to lay in bed and stew, so I wanted
to come and post here just to get it off my chest and see if someone has some advice for
me. I know it's hard on dh, I get frustrated too. Throughout this pregnancy things have
changed significantly in our lives, our relationship with each other, with the kids, etc. He's
had to take on a lot of roles that I've covered since marriage (Ha! I did everything until the
bedrest, housework, yard work, car maintainance, bills, therapy, schoolwork) In less than
nine months, he's doing much of this, we started homeschooling, I've changed my
parenting, but doesn't it seem that he should be able to roll with the punches? I'm not
asking him to do more work, just support me as I take on more. Or at least be respectful
of the what the kids do, and when they do it.
Thanks for listening, I hope this was ok to post such a long vent, I think I'll go back and
put that in my subject line as a warning!!!
melissa
michele oquinn
I, too, need advice as my husband and my relationship
seems so adversarial. We've been married 17.5 years
and have a dd 14yr and ds 11yr. I think my husbands
expectations and general gruffness make me feel the
need to "protect" the kids. My 11 yo in particular
reacts negatively to his dads requests/demands. There
is so much explosiveness in our home...I had hoped for
more peace.
Family conversations generally end up with dad saying
we just all need to do things his way and things would
be fine. BS!
--- multimomma <autismhelp@...> wrote:
Yahoo! for Good - Make a difference this year.
http://brand.yahoo.com/cybergivingweek2005/
seems so adversarial. We've been married 17.5 years
and have a dd 14yr and ds 11yr. I think my husbands
expectations and general gruffness make me feel the
need to "protect" the kids. My 11 yo in particular
reacts negatively to his dads requests/demands. There
is so much explosiveness in our home...I had hoped for
more peace.
Family conversations generally end up with dad saying
we just all need to do things his way and things would
be fine. BS!
--- multimomma <autismhelp@...> wrote:
> I know I'm new to all this, but I'm trying hard. My__________________________________
> hubby, however, is not. He is (sorta) okay
> with the not schooling on purpose (he probably
> thinks it's a phase), but everything else.
> Ugh, I can't even begin to describe it, and maybe
> it's just newbaby hormones, but it
> honestly seems like he's trying to make things
> *harder* for me! When I talked to him about
> not forcing the kids to do chores, etc, he kind of
> laughed it off and said that he'll see how
> long I last. I mean, I thought he understood all the
> lead up, agreed when we talked about
> how when WE do chores we don't think twice about
> sitting down to rest or grabbing a soda
> or whatever. Every time I turned around today, he
> did something that he totally would not
> have done before though. Including hiding all the
> game pieces that were accidentally left
> out when the kids (voluntarily!) cleaned up their
> games. His pet peeve is that he's a
> workaholic (Iike me) but wants everyone else to bust
> their butts working all the time
> (unlike me).
>
> I can deal with the kids, but I'm about to kill my
> husband. I was going to talk to him
> tonight, but I think I need to rationally think for
> a day or two, and get advice from other
> parents who had to deal with partners who didn't
> back them up. (or maybe purposefully
> sabotaged!) I'm so tired anyway, I don't need this
> kind of crap. I don't understand why he
> was willing to split housework 50/50 before the kids
> were able to help, but isn't willing to
> do it now. It's like his job is to make sure the
> kids do all the work. grrr! Considering how
> much work they did when I was on bedrest, and
> they're still so young.
>
> Does this make sense? I know it's late and I'm still
> not asleep, AND I have a cold, so maybe
> I'm not making sense. I just know that I'm mad
> enough to lay in bed and stew, so I wanted
> to come and post here just to get it off my chest
> and see if someone has some advice for
> me. I know it's hard on dh, I get frustrated too.
> Throughout this pregnancy things have
> changed significantly in our lives, our relationship
> with each other, with the kids, etc. He's
> had to take on a lot of roles that I've covered
> since marriage (Ha! I did everything until the
> bedrest, housework, yard work, car maintainance,
> bills, therapy, schoolwork) In less than
> nine months, he's doing much of this, we started
> homeschooling, I've changed my
> parenting, but doesn't it seem that he should be
> able to roll with the punches? I'm not
> asking him to do more work, just support me as I
> take on more. Or at least be respectful
> of the what the kids do, and when they do it.
>
> Thanks for listening, I hope this was ok to post
> such a long vent, I think I'll go back and
> put that in my subject line as a warning!!!
>
> melissa
>
>
>
>
Yahoo! for Good - Make a difference this year.
http://brand.yahoo.com/cybergivingweek2005/
simplemom3
I'm trying hard. My hubby, however, is not. He is (sorta) okay
**********************
Hi Melissa,
My husband was quite reluctant when he heard the word "unschooling."
It accidentally slipped out while I was talking with him a few months
ago. I was explaining how much more relaxed our days are, and how
much more enjoyable life seems. The word "unschooling" slipped out,
and his reaction was not what I was hoping for. BUT -- he has come
around by leaps and bounds.
His thing is math. He absolutely insists that they do some formal
math 3 times a week or so. I am going along with this, even though I
really don't want to. I feel like I have to placate him a bit,
because his worries and concerns (about them getting "behind") are
real to him. I feel he deserves some say in the matter, since he is,
after all, The Dad. :)
I guess what I'm trying to say is that -- with your hubby, the issue
seems to be chores. With mine, it's math. Can you just humor him
(at least for a while), by pitching in to help the kids with chores
when he gives them orders (as Ren suggested)? Sometimes it seems
that we need to take baby steps to get where we really want to
be....especially when it involves keep the marriage partners united.
Mom and Dad being at odds creates so much tension...not only with
each other, but with the children. It seems like your situation
might be one of those times when it's best to make the changes you
desire in very small increments, at least while he is at home. Like
many of the others said, you can "live life" the way you want to when
he's otherwise occupied.
My thoughts are with you as you adjust to the new little bundle in
your home while simultaneously fighting a nasty cold :-(
Blessings,
Sharon
> with the not schooling on purpose (he probably thinks it's aphase),
**********************
Hi Melissa,
My husband was quite reluctant when he heard the word "unschooling."
It accidentally slipped out while I was talking with him a few months
ago. I was explaining how much more relaxed our days are, and how
much more enjoyable life seems. The word "unschooling" slipped out,
and his reaction was not what I was hoping for. BUT -- he has come
around by leaps and bounds.
His thing is math. He absolutely insists that they do some formal
math 3 times a week or so. I am going along with this, even though I
really don't want to. I feel like I have to placate him a bit,
because his worries and concerns (about them getting "behind") are
real to him. I feel he deserves some say in the matter, since he is,
after all, The Dad. :)
I guess what I'm trying to say is that -- with your hubby, the issue
seems to be chores. With mine, it's math. Can you just humor him
(at least for a while), by pitching in to help the kids with chores
when he gives them orders (as Ren suggested)? Sometimes it seems
that we need to take baby steps to get where we really want to
be....especially when it involves keep the marriage partners united.
Mom and Dad being at odds creates so much tension...not only with
each other, but with the children. It seems like your situation
might be one of those times when it's best to make the changes you
desire in very small increments, at least while he is at home. Like
many of the others said, you can "live life" the way you want to when
he's otherwise occupied.
My thoughts are with you as you adjust to the new little bundle in
your home while simultaneously fighting a nasty cold :-(
Blessings,
Sharon
Mother Earth (Tyra)
Melissa!
First of all, here is a {{{HUG}}}! I can really relate to some of what you are saying. What I have done over the years when I feel unsupported by my dh is I try to not focus on my frustration with my husband. I have found that if I really think about it, for every thing that I don't like about his behavior, he has the same number of dislikes with respect to my behavior. The other thing is that I don't want to conform to what he wants to do unless I choose to and so I will not expect him to conform to what I want him to do unless he chooses to out of respect. That does not make him or me right our wrong, it just frees my mind up to focus on what I want to do AND brings me PEACE!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I often feel like I am the parent that is more connected, more willing to make changes in order to bring out the best in both my children and myself. But, I do believe that each parent brings strengths and weaknesses to the table that will eventually help the entire family grow. Since I started unschooling and becoming much more relaxed and comfortable with my children, when I here my husband set limitations on them or barks commands at them, it jars me. However, I have decided that he has to grow in his own way as I have and all I can do is be an example. Over time I have found that he usually softens down as he sees that I have AND that it works.
Let me qualify all of this with the fact that I am a path of least resistance type of gal AND my husband is not the type of person that is open to someone changing him. As a matter of fact, he will do the exact opposite if I do kind of push a certain way of being onto him. I believe that our hubby's can in some weird almost sick way support us although they do not operate like us. My husband does not say that he is against what I am doing. He tells me to do what I want to do but that does not mean that he subscribes to my ways. (That sucka! LOL!)
So, if I don't have the pressure of him wanting me to do things a certain way, then I don't worry too much about what he is doing or not doing to support me. That takes away from my peace and joy with the children. Plus, I often think that when my children are grown and gone, I will have memories of completion rather than trying to recapture with my grandchildren what I should have done with my children. In the midst of my greatest frustration with hubby, that helps to settle me down.
I wish you much success and thank you for sharing. Because although I am describing me in general, these last few days I have wanted to ring my hubby's neck almost for the EXACT same reason as you. Must be something in the cosmic air! LOL!
Love
Tyra
First of all, here is a {{{HUG}}}! I can really relate to some of what you are saying. What I have done over the years when I feel unsupported by my dh is I try to not focus on my frustration with my husband. I have found that if I really think about it, for every thing that I don't like about his behavior, he has the same number of dislikes with respect to my behavior. The other thing is that I don't want to conform to what he wants to do unless I choose to and so I will not expect him to conform to what I want him to do unless he chooses to out of respect. That does not make him or me right our wrong, it just frees my mind up to focus on what I want to do AND brings me PEACE!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I often feel like I am the parent that is more connected, more willing to make changes in order to bring out the best in both my children and myself. But, I do believe that each parent brings strengths and weaknesses to the table that will eventually help the entire family grow. Since I started unschooling and becoming much more relaxed and comfortable with my children, when I here my husband set limitations on them or barks commands at them, it jars me. However, I have decided that he has to grow in his own way as I have and all I can do is be an example. Over time I have found that he usually softens down as he sees that I have AND that it works.
Let me qualify all of this with the fact that I am a path of least resistance type of gal AND my husband is not the type of person that is open to someone changing him. As a matter of fact, he will do the exact opposite if I do kind of push a certain way of being onto him. I believe that our hubby's can in some weird almost sick way support us although they do not operate like us. My husband does not say that he is against what I am doing. He tells me to do what I want to do but that does not mean that he subscribes to my ways. (That sucka! LOL!)
So, if I don't have the pressure of him wanting me to do things a certain way, then I don't worry too much about what he is doing or not doing to support me. That takes away from my peace and joy with the children. Plus, I often think that when my children are grown and gone, I will have memories of completion rather than trying to recapture with my grandchildren what I should have done with my children. In the midst of my greatest frustration with hubby, that helps to settle me down.
I wish you much success and thank you for sharing. Because although I am describing me in general, these last few days I have wanted to ring my hubby's neck almost for the EXACT same reason as you. Must be something in the cosmic air! LOL!
Love
Tyra
----- Original Message -----
From: multimomma
To: [email protected]
Sent: Sunday, January 01, 2006 10:34 PM
Subject: [unschoolingbasics] Can I vent here? (long post w/ ?)
I know I'm new to all this, but I'm trying hard.
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Sonia
Tyra,
I knew somone would put it in a way that I felt but couldn't
express, such insight too.....wonderfully worded. I will cut and
paste this post for further reference. A BIG THANK YOU
....I do lose the plot sometimes, well, regularly, really, but
thankfully, people on this site can pull me back to where I want to
be.
I also take the path of least resistance, sometimes for peace sake,
and to set a happy environment. Since unschooling, I am not up for
winning battles or wars, just seeking a better way for us to live in
harmony with what is going on in our lives, and hopefully spreading
the 'unschooling' way of life!!!
Sonia
--- In [email protected], "Mother Earth \(Tyra\)"
<motherspirit@b...> wrote:
unsupported by my dh is I try to not focus on my frustration with my
husband. I have found that if I really think about it, for every
thing that I don't like about his behavior, he has the same number
of dislikes with respect to my behavior. The other thing is that I
don't want to conform to what he wants to do unless I choose to and
so I will not expect him to conform to what I want him to do unless
he chooses to out of respect. That does not make him or me right
our wrong, it just frees my mind up to focus on what I want to do
AND brings me PEACE!!!!!!!!!!!!!
children and myself. But, I do believe that each parent brings
strengths and weaknesses to the table that will eventually help the
entire family grow. Since I started unschooling and becoming much
more relaxed and comfortable with my children, when I here my
husband set limitations on them or barks commands at them, it jars
me. However, I have decided that he has to grow in his own way as I
have and all I can do is be an example. Over time I have found that
he usually softens down as he sees that I have AND that it works.
is open to someone changing him. As a matter of fact, he will do
the exact opposite if I do kind of push a certain way of being onto
him. I believe that our hubby's can in some weird almost sick way
support us although they do not operate like us. My husband does
not say that he is against what I am doing. He tells me to do what
I want to do but that does not mean that he subscribes to my ways.
(That sucka! LOL!)
not doing to support me. That takes away from my peace and joy with
the children. Plus, I often think that when my children are grown
and gone, I will have memories of completion rather than trying to
recapture with my grandchildren what I should have done with my
children. In the midst of my greatest frustration with hubby, that
helps to settle me down.
wanted to ring my hubby's neck almost for the EXACT same reason as
you. Must be something in the cosmic air! LOL!
I knew somone would put it in a way that I felt but couldn't
express, such insight too.....wonderfully worded. I will cut and
paste this post for further reference. A BIG THANK YOU
....I do lose the plot sometimes, well, regularly, really, but
thankfully, people on this site can pull me back to where I want to
be.
I also take the path of least resistance, sometimes for peace sake,
and to set a happy environment. Since unschooling, I am not up for
winning battles or wars, just seeking a better way for us to live in
harmony with what is going on in our lives, and hopefully spreading
the 'unschooling' way of life!!!
Sonia
--- In [email protected], "Mother Earth \(Tyra\)"
<motherspirit@b...> wrote:
>what you are saying. What I have done over the years when I feel
> Melissa!
>
> First of all, here is a {{{HUG}}}! I can really relate to some of
unsupported by my dh is I try to not focus on my frustration with my
husband. I have found that if I really think about it, for every
thing that I don't like about his behavior, he has the same number
of dislikes with respect to my behavior. The other thing is that I
don't want to conform to what he wants to do unless I choose to and
so I will not expect him to conform to what I want him to do unless
he chooses to out of respect. That does not make him or me right
our wrong, it just frees my mind up to focus on what I want to do
AND brings me PEACE!!!!!!!!!!!!!
>willing to make changes in order to bring out the best in both my
> I often feel like I am the parent that is more connected, more
children and myself. But, I do believe that each parent brings
strengths and weaknesses to the table that will eventually help the
entire family grow. Since I started unschooling and becoming much
more relaxed and comfortable with my children, when I here my
husband set limitations on them or barks commands at them, it jars
me. However, I have decided that he has to grow in his own way as I
have and all I can do is be an example. Over time I have found that
he usually softens down as he sees that I have AND that it works.
>resistance type of gal AND my husband is not the type of person that
> Let me qualify all of this with the fact that I am a path of least
is open to someone changing him. As a matter of fact, he will do
the exact opposite if I do kind of push a certain way of being onto
him. I believe that our hubby's can in some weird almost sick way
support us although they do not operate like us. My husband does
not say that he is against what I am doing. He tells me to do what
I want to do but that does not mean that he subscribes to my ways.
(That sucka! LOL!)
>certain way, then I don't worry too much about what he is doing or
> So, if I don't have the pressure of him wanting me to do things a
not doing to support me. That takes away from my peace and joy with
the children. Plus, I often think that when my children are grown
and gone, I will have memories of completion rather than trying to
recapture with my grandchildren what I should have done with my
children. In the midst of my greatest frustration with hubby, that
helps to settle me down.
>although I am describing me in general, these last few days I have
> I wish you much success and thank you for sharing. Because
wanted to ring my hubby's neck almost for the EXACT same reason as
you. Must be something in the cosmic air! LOL!
>
> Love
> Tyra
> ----- Original Message -----
> From: multimomma
> To: [email protected]
> Sent: Sunday, January 01, 2006 10:34 PM
> Subject: [unschoolingbasics] Can I vent here? (long post w/ ?)
>
>
> I know I'm new to all this, but I'm trying hard.
>
> [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>
multimomma
Thanks all for all the replies, insights and ideas.
I think the most important thing that I'm walking away with is more insight to my hubby's
brain, and a little more compassion, and some willingness to compromise with him about
little things until we see that it's working. Right now it's very hard. The kids are testing
boundaries and are unsure of me as it is. I'm unsure of me half the time. all I know is that I
want them to feel joy, love and interest in every day. And when he questions it, I question
myself.
Dh does bring so much strength to the table, there is no way I could make it without him.
He's a loving father, and up til now has been more tolerant of noise and nonsense. Less
tolerant of messes, so maybe that was his battle and I'm stealing it? He's really great about
taking a moment and making it shine, if that makes sense. He's the kind of person who
knows something about everything, or if he doesn't he knows how to question it and show
the kids some thought process. He doesn't lecture, which I'm jealous of...I slip into it
without thinking sometimes. ;-)
i can already feel my brain changing, yesterday at the lake was an awesome experience, a
few hours hiking around the shoreline, no agenda, no plans, just watching the kids watch
the world, answering questions, swallowing my objections about handling glass, splashing
in water, etc. I could feel my strength grow as I remained positive, and instead of saying
"STOP PLAYING with the BROKEN glass!" crouching down and affirming their interests,
explaining why we needed to be careful, etc. Led to an interesting conversation about how
glass is made, why people leave it at the lake, and the kids want to come back and do
litter duty next weekend. With the drought there is a lot of interesting stuff to be seen, and
lots of cool conversations.
Anyway, thanks to the listmates who responded, and all. It's late, dh is playing chess with
our oldest, the little ones are asleep, and I'm typing while nursing. Not easy, but it's my
only free time.
Melissa
I think the most important thing that I'm walking away with is more insight to my hubby's
brain, and a little more compassion, and some willingness to compromise with him about
little things until we see that it's working. Right now it's very hard. The kids are testing
boundaries and are unsure of me as it is. I'm unsure of me half the time. all I know is that I
want them to feel joy, love and interest in every day. And when he questions it, I question
myself.
Dh does bring so much strength to the table, there is no way I could make it without him.
He's a loving father, and up til now has been more tolerant of noise and nonsense. Less
tolerant of messes, so maybe that was his battle and I'm stealing it? He's really great about
taking a moment and making it shine, if that makes sense. He's the kind of person who
knows something about everything, or if he doesn't he knows how to question it and show
the kids some thought process. He doesn't lecture, which I'm jealous of...I slip into it
without thinking sometimes. ;-)
i can already feel my brain changing, yesterday at the lake was an awesome experience, a
few hours hiking around the shoreline, no agenda, no plans, just watching the kids watch
the world, answering questions, swallowing my objections about handling glass, splashing
in water, etc. I could feel my strength grow as I remained positive, and instead of saying
"STOP PLAYING with the BROKEN glass!" crouching down and affirming their interests,
explaining why we needed to be careful, etc. Led to an interesting conversation about how
glass is made, why people leave it at the lake, and the kids want to come back and do
litter duty next weekend. With the drought there is a lot of interesting stuff to be seen, and
lots of cool conversations.
Anyway, thanks to the listmates who responded, and all. It's late, dh is playing chess with
our oldest, the little ones are asleep, and I'm typing while nursing. Not easy, but it's my
only free time.
Melissa
Pamela Sorooshian
On Jan 3, 2006, at 9:06 PM, multimomma wrote:
your posts we can ALL feel your strength growing!
Have fun!
-pam
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>WONDERFUL. Thanks for that story - it was great. And - just reading
> i can already feel my brain changing, yesterday at the lake was an
> awesome experience, a
> few hours hiking around the shoreline, no agenda, no plans, just
> watching the kids watch
> the world, answering questions, swallowing my objections about
> handling glass, splashing
> in water, etc. I could feel my strength grow as I remained
> positive, and instead of saying
> "STOP PLAYING with the BROKEN glass!" crouching down and affirming
> their interests,
> explaining why we needed to be careful, etc. Led to an interesting
> conversation about how
> glass is made, why people leave it at the lake, and the kids want
> to come back and do
> litter duty next weekend. With the drought there is a lot of
> interesting stuff to be seen, and
> lots of cool conversations.
your posts we can ALL feel your strength growing!
Have fun!
-pam
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Ren Allen
"swallowing my objections about handling glass,
splashing in water, etc. I could feel my strength grow as I remained
positive, and instead of saying
"STOP PLAYING with the BROKEN glass!" crouching down and affirming
their interests, explaining why we needed to be careful, etc. Led to
an interesting conversation about how glass is made, why people
leave it at the lake, and the kids want to come back
and do litter duty next weekend."
This was really great to read about!!! Once you see how your
openness and curiosity leads to conversations and learning moments,
it gets easier and easier to shush those negative voices.
One positive moment leads to another, because we can see more easily
what creates a truly joyful moment.
I talked once about being an "open door" for your children and how
saying "NO" closes the door in their face.
You can say "no" without really saying "no" even....by saying "yes,
I like that idea, but it won't work today" you are at least leaving
the door open.
Try to leave the door open as much as possible, it leads to some
really amazing places!
Thanks for sharing your joyful day.:)
Ren
splashing in water, etc. I could feel my strength grow as I remained
positive, and instead of saying
"STOP PLAYING with the BROKEN glass!" crouching down and affirming
their interests, explaining why we needed to be careful, etc. Led to
an interesting conversation about how glass is made, why people
leave it at the lake, and the kids want to come back
and do litter duty next weekend."
This was really great to read about!!! Once you see how your
openness and curiosity leads to conversations and learning moments,
it gets easier and easier to shush those negative voices.
One positive moment leads to another, because we can see more easily
what creates a truly joyful moment.
I talked once about being an "open door" for your children and how
saying "NO" closes the door in their face.
You can say "no" without really saying "no" even....by saying "yes,
I like that idea, but it won't work today" you are at least leaving
the door open.
Try to leave the door open as much as possible, it leads to some
really amazing places!
Thanks for sharing your joyful day.:)
Ren