URGENT-need advice today!
Ren Allen
"He's digging in his heels."
GOOD! His sense of self is intact....good for him.
Listen to him.
Any gain that could be made by visiting a factory at this point,
will be overshadowed by damage to your relationship. The
relationship between you and your son should be the concern, not
some inconveniences that will happen over cancelling.
He doesn't want to go. So don't.
It's not like it's some once-in-a-lifetime opportunity...he's FOUR.
Try to remember that this very little four year old will soon be
fourteen. He'll be exploring the world and seeing factories all the
time if he wants....don't worry.
I think keeping his sense of self intact is more important than any
potential for learning right now.
Trust him. He'll trust you more. If you go against his desires and
try to force your will upon him, that will be detrimental to the
learning/unschooling process.
It's just a factory. There will be more.
Ren
GOOD! His sense of self is intact....good for him.
Listen to him.
Any gain that could be made by visiting a factory at this point,
will be overshadowed by damage to your relationship. The
relationship between you and your son should be the concern, not
some inconveniences that will happen over cancelling.
He doesn't want to go. So don't.
It's not like it's some once-in-a-lifetime opportunity...he's FOUR.
Try to remember that this very little four year old will soon be
fourteen. He'll be exploring the world and seeing factories all the
time if he wants....don't worry.
I think keeping his sense of self intact is more important than any
potential for learning right now.
Trust him. He'll trust you more. If you go against his desires and
try to force your will upon him, that will be detrimental to the
learning/unschooling process.
It's just a factory. There will be more.
Ren
Jennifer Altenbach
Thanks to everyone who has responded so far. It has helped me to
lighten up about it which is already apparent in Scotty's response to
the whole issue. I think part of his reaction was that I was worried
that he would balk at the hair net thing and he was picking up on my
worry.
With 1.5 hours to go before we are scheduled to be there, his current
feeling is that he wants to give it a try, and that the hair net might
not be so bad. We are not talking about it unless he mentions it.
Ren wrote:
<<"He's digging in his heels."
GOOD! His sense of self is intact....good for him.
Listen to him.>>
It's definitely intact and fierce. He is the kind of kid who flat out
refuses to participate in group activities where all the kids have to
line up and follow instructions (so school would be a nightmare-thank
goodness unschooling is an option). My friend commented one time
"there's a kid who does things on his own terms." I respect and admire
this in him, which is why this morning's issue was frustrating me. I
don't want to discount his feelings or break his will, yet I *know* that
he would absolutely love seeing that place.
I will try a little bit of Pam's advice about taking small steps (thanks
Pam!), and if he still refuses I will not force or coerce him. Thanks
also to everyone who said I should not take him against his will. I
knew this was the answer in my heart, but it helped me to hear it from
you so I could let go of my expectations more easily.
I'll let you know how it went :-)
Jenny
P.S. I just talked with the lady who is giving the tour and explained
the situation and she was very understanding.
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
lighten up about it which is already apparent in Scotty's response to
the whole issue. I think part of his reaction was that I was worried
that he would balk at the hair net thing and he was picking up on my
worry.
With 1.5 hours to go before we are scheduled to be there, his current
feeling is that he wants to give it a try, and that the hair net might
not be so bad. We are not talking about it unless he mentions it.
Ren wrote:
<<"He's digging in his heels."
GOOD! His sense of self is intact....good for him.
Listen to him.>>
It's definitely intact and fierce. He is the kind of kid who flat out
refuses to participate in group activities where all the kids have to
line up and follow instructions (so school would be a nightmare-thank
goodness unschooling is an option). My friend commented one time
"there's a kid who does things on his own terms." I respect and admire
this in him, which is why this morning's issue was frustrating me. I
don't want to discount his feelings or break his will, yet I *know* that
he would absolutely love seeing that place.
I will try a little bit of Pam's advice about taking small steps (thanks
Pam!), and if he still refuses I will not force or coerce him. Thanks
also to everyone who said I should not take him against his will. I
knew this was the answer in my heart, but it helped me to hear it from
you so I could let go of my expectations more easily.
I'll let you know how it went :-)
Jenny
P.S. I just talked with the lady who is giving the tour and explained
the situation and she was very understanding.
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Jennifer Altenbach
<<I'll let you know how it went :-)>>>
It was AWESOME!!!!! Here's what happened: he was watching Dragon Tales
and I told him that at the halfway point (thank goodness those PBS shows
have halfway points) it would be time to go. I basically said we were
going to the post office and the paper factory, with the emphasis on the
post office. He was mad when I turned off the TV, but only for a
minute. I got him out the door by suggesting he pee outside, which he
loves to do. I then got him in the car by suggesting that he could put
the letters in the mailbox at the P.O., which he also loves to do.
After the P.O. he asked where we were going and I said nonchalantly "to
the paper factory". He kind of half-heartedly said he wanted to go home
and see Daddy but soon started chatting about the scenery (we drive over
the Rio Grande to get there). Moments later we were there-it's a really
familiar building to him because we drive past it all the time. I kept
saying there's the factory and he started to get really excited. We
went through the guard gate and I said "I'll bet Mr. Rogers went through
a guard gate when he went to the plate factory" and Scotty said "No
Mommy, he didn't go to the factory, he watched a video about it" :-p
We got some visitor's badges and he got to hold his. He was
still totally excited. Then we parked and he said "OK let's put my
hair net on!" and I stupidly said "we don't have to put it on yet-we'll
wait until the lady who's giving us the tour says we have to. We're
going to meet a nice lady named Jolene." Well that was not the right
thing to say. He then started to say he didn't want to go any more (he
is apprehensive of meeting new people). I applied the advice that Pam
had given and suggested that we just see the inside of the lobby. He
was kind of whining about it but got distracted by the beautiful purple
prickly pear cactus at the entrance. We went inside, waited about 60
seconds for Jolene, and luckily he took to her pretty well so the rest
was fine! And boy oh boy did he love those machines. He was grinning
from ear to ear, pointing at everything, jumping up and down from
excitement. The lady there told us that he was the first little kid
that she knew of who had toured the factory. We stayed about 40 minutes
and he got some samples and was talking about it nonstop afterwards. He
said that the hair net was fine and that the machines weren't so loud
after all.
Thank you, thank you all for your support. Taking the pressure off of
both of us helped a whole lot.
Oh, and if you are curious, here's where we went:
http://www.rosessouthwest.com/mfg.html
Jenny
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
It was AWESOME!!!!! Here's what happened: he was watching Dragon Tales
and I told him that at the halfway point (thank goodness those PBS shows
have halfway points) it would be time to go. I basically said we were
going to the post office and the paper factory, with the emphasis on the
post office. He was mad when I turned off the TV, but only for a
minute. I got him out the door by suggesting he pee outside, which he
loves to do. I then got him in the car by suggesting that he could put
the letters in the mailbox at the P.O., which he also loves to do.
After the P.O. he asked where we were going and I said nonchalantly "to
the paper factory". He kind of half-heartedly said he wanted to go home
and see Daddy but soon started chatting about the scenery (we drive over
the Rio Grande to get there). Moments later we were there-it's a really
familiar building to him because we drive past it all the time. I kept
saying there's the factory and he started to get really excited. We
went through the guard gate and I said "I'll bet Mr. Rogers went through
a guard gate when he went to the plate factory" and Scotty said "No
Mommy, he didn't go to the factory, he watched a video about it" :-p
We got some visitor's badges and he got to hold his. He was
still totally excited. Then we parked and he said "OK let's put my
hair net on!" and I stupidly said "we don't have to put it on yet-we'll
wait until the lady who's giving us the tour says we have to. We're
going to meet a nice lady named Jolene." Well that was not the right
thing to say. He then started to say he didn't want to go any more (he
is apprehensive of meeting new people). I applied the advice that Pam
had given and suggested that we just see the inside of the lobby. He
was kind of whining about it but got distracted by the beautiful purple
prickly pear cactus at the entrance. We went inside, waited about 60
seconds for Jolene, and luckily he took to her pretty well so the rest
was fine! And boy oh boy did he love those machines. He was grinning
from ear to ear, pointing at everything, jumping up and down from
excitement. The lady there told us that he was the first little kid
that she knew of who had toured the factory. We stayed about 40 minutes
and he got some samples and was talking about it nonstop afterwards. He
said that the hair net was fine and that the machines weren't so loud
after all.
Thank you, thank you all for your support. Taking the pressure off of
both of us helped a whole lot.
Oh, and if you are curious, here's where we went:
http://www.rosessouthwest.com/mfg.html
Jenny
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
melissazietlow
--- In [email protected], "Jennifer Altenbach"
<salten@c...> wrote:
This cracked me up. Way to be, mom!
So,how do they make TP, in short?
MZ
<salten@c...> wrote:
>Glad it worked out to be a positive experience!
> <<I'll let you know how it went :-) It was AWESOME!!!!!
> <<I got him out the door by suggesting he pee outside, which heloves to do.
This cracked me up. Way to be, mom!
So,how do they make TP, in short?
MZ