failing at unschooling?
Daniel MacIntyre
another list I am on is talking about how some children "fail" at
unschooling. The concept is completely foreign to me, but I have discussed
it with them as best I can. The consensus there is that some children need
structure. I never really thought of structure and unschooling being
mutually exclusive (mutually independant, perhaps, but not exclusive).
Anyways, I suggested that a child who needed structure would probably
provide it him or herself - with the parent's assistance perhaps, but not
necessarily and certainly not with any need for coercion. Unfortunately, I
really didn't have any strong examples to back me up. I was wondering if
anyone here did - or had something suggesting that structure may not be as
necessary to these children as the people there are suggesting.
Any help would be appreciated.
--
Daniel
( Blogging at http://key-words.blogspot.com/ )
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unschooling. The concept is completely foreign to me, but I have discussed
it with them as best I can. The consensus there is that some children need
structure. I never really thought of structure and unschooling being
mutually exclusive (mutually independant, perhaps, but not exclusive).
Anyways, I suggested that a child who needed structure would probably
provide it him or herself - with the parent's assistance perhaps, but not
necessarily and certainly not with any need for coercion. Unfortunately, I
really didn't have any strong examples to back me up. I was wondering if
anyone here did - or had something suggesting that structure may not be as
necessary to these children as the people there are suggesting.
Any help would be appreciated.
--
Daniel
( Blogging at http://key-words.blogspot.com/ )
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Deb Lewis
***another list I am on is talking about how some children "fail" at
unschooling.***
What kind of unschooling parent is assessing the child as "failed?" If
a parent is assessing a child as passing or failing that parent does not
understand unschooling. Never did. Never understood what it involved.
So then it's the parent who failed. Failed to understand unschooling
in the first place. Failed to provide their child with enough freedom,
trust, attention and assistance to do the things he or she wanted.
There are certainly people who like to be organized like to have a plan
in place and do things systematically, but an unschooler wouldn't assume
it's a cry for text books and lessons and quizzes.
I think these are the parents who aren't creative enough or interested
enough to find new and wonderful things to offer their kids and who get
wiggy when said kid, whether through natural interest or from a lack of
better things to do, chooses TV or video games.
How many of the parents with "failed" children thought the TV was on too
much? I've been in those discussions too..."my son was staying in his
pajamas all day.... my daughter only wanted to watch reruns of Full
House... my kid did nothing but play video games eighty five hours a
day... " Or, after being nagged and harassed about doing this or that
or not doing enough the poor kid finally was convinced he needed
structure by the crazed "you need structure - you need structure" mom.
None of that is unschooling.
Deb Lewis
unschooling.***
What kind of unschooling parent is assessing the child as "failed?" If
a parent is assessing a child as passing or failing that parent does not
understand unschooling. Never did. Never understood what it involved.
So then it's the parent who failed. Failed to understand unschooling
in the first place. Failed to provide their child with enough freedom,
trust, attention and assistance to do the things he or she wanted.
There are certainly people who like to be organized like to have a plan
in place and do things systematically, but an unschooler wouldn't assume
it's a cry for text books and lessons and quizzes.
I think these are the parents who aren't creative enough or interested
enough to find new and wonderful things to offer their kids and who get
wiggy when said kid, whether through natural interest or from a lack of
better things to do, chooses TV or video games.
How many of the parents with "failed" children thought the TV was on too
much? I've been in those discussions too..."my son was staying in his
pajamas all day.... my daughter only wanted to watch reruns of Full
House... my kid did nothing but play video games eighty five hours a
day... " Or, after being nagged and harassed about doing this or that
or not doing enough the poor kid finally was convinced he needed
structure by the crazed "you need structure - you need structure" mom.
None of that is unschooling.
Deb Lewis
Daniel MacIntyre
Looks like I shouldn't have let myself get sucked in. They're not talking
about their own children. They are judging someone else's (no, I didn't
realize that myself at first - it's just now coming out). It really amazes
me sometimes how some people can complain about other people judging their
children for hours on end and then turn around and do exactly the same thing
to someone else's.
I'm getting out of the conversation as it's turning ugly (now they are
talking about how children left to discover their own morals become selfish
bullies - not all, of course, but "the majority"). I'm not even sure if
they still think they are talking about unschooling or not. It's certainly
not any unschooler *I* ever met.
about their own children. They are judging someone else's (no, I didn't
realize that myself at first - it's just now coming out). It really amazes
me sometimes how some people can complain about other people judging their
children for hours on end and then turn around and do exactly the same thing
to someone else's.
I'm getting out of the conversation as it's turning ugly (now they are
talking about how children left to discover their own morals become selfish
bullies - not all, of course, but "the majority"). I'm not even sure if
they still think they are talking about unschooling or not. It's certainly
not any unschooler *I* ever met.
On 11/24/05, Deb Lewis <ddzimlew@...> wrote:
>
> ***another list I am on is talking about how some children "fail" at
> unschooling.***
>
> What kind of unschooling parent is assessing the child as "failed?" If
> a parent is assessing a child as passing or failing that parent does not
> understand unschooling. Never did. Never understood what it involved.
> So then it's the parent who failed. Failed to understand unschooling
> in the first place. Failed to provide their child with enough freedom,
> trust, attention and assistance to do the things he or she wanted.
>
> There are certainly people who like to be organized like to have a plan
> in place and do things systematically, but an unschooler wouldn't assume
> it's a cry for text books and lessons and quizzes.
>
> I think these are the parents who aren't creative enough or interested
> enough to find new and wonderful things to offer their kids and who get
> wiggy when said kid, whether through natural interest or from a lack of
> better things to do, chooses TV or video games.
>
> How many of the parents with "failed" children thought the TV was on too
> much? I've been in those discussions too..."my son was staying in his
> pajamas all day.... my daughter only wanted to watch reruns of Full
> House... my kid did nothing but play video games eighty five hours a
> day... " Or, after being nagged and harassed about doing this or that
> or not doing enough the poor kid finally was convinced he needed
> structure by the crazed "you need structure - you need structure" mom.
> None of that is unschooling.
>
> Deb Lewis
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
> Yahoo! Groups Links
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
--
Daniel
( Blogging at http://key-words.blogspot.com/ )
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Sylvia Toyama
I'm getting out of the conversation as it's turning ugly (now they are talking about how children left to discover their own morals become selfish bullies - not all, of course, but "the majority"). I'm not even sure if they still think they are talking about unschooling or not. It's certainly not any unschooler *I* ever met.
******
How is unschooling 'letting a child discover his own morals?' Seems to me that, if anything, sending your kid to school is a sure way to leave him adrift at the mercy of everyone else's 'morals' with no choice but to find his own way. It sounds like they've decided that most unschooling parents are negligent and raising selfish bullies.
I can honestly say I've never met a bully among unschooling children. The bullies I've seen (both as child and parent) are usually kids were who are or were totally controlled by their parents, and bullying is just a way for them to transfer that pain and feel in control for a few moments.
Sylvia
Mom to Will (20) Andy (9) and Dan (4.5)
---------------------------------
Yahoo! Music Unlimited - Access over 1 million songs. Try it free.
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
******
How is unschooling 'letting a child discover his own morals?' Seems to me that, if anything, sending your kid to school is a sure way to leave him adrift at the mercy of everyone else's 'morals' with no choice but to find his own way. It sounds like they've decided that most unschooling parents are negligent and raising selfish bullies.
I can honestly say I've never met a bully among unschooling children. The bullies I've seen (both as child and parent) are usually kids were who are or were totally controlled by their parents, and bullying is just a way for them to transfer that pain and feel in control for a few moments.
Sylvia
Mom to Will (20) Andy (9) and Dan (4.5)
---------------------------------
Yahoo! Music Unlimited - Access over 1 million songs. Try it free.
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]