Anastasia Hall

My inbox is ready to burst this morning, so I hope I'm not being rude for not answering everyone
individually. But thank you to all from the bottom of my heart for all of your insight and wisdom
and advice and help! I've calmed down today. I regret that my first few postings to this group
were complaints and drama. (maybe a little seasonal depression coming on that caused me to be so
darned emotional and riled up- I haven't been myself lately.) Dh was very sympathetic when he
came home and made sure I was ok. I did a bit of calm thinking and started reading Teach Your
Own. I got through the intro before CSI came on (GOT to watch CSI!) and one sentence that really
struck a chord with me was, "In a nutshell, people whose lives are hard, boring, painful,
meaningless - people who suffer - tend to resent those who seem to suffer less than they do, and
will make them suffer if they can." I never saw parenting or school in this light before. I'm
going to be more aware of this in the future. Dh & I had a similar discussion to the one
yesterday about spanking when the kids were toddlers- well, a few times, actually. I gave in, and
spanked the kids for a while. I couldn't deal with the guilt, and I stopped doing it. After a
while, he stopped, too. He saw my methods were as or more effective, and drew his own conclusion.
I guess that's my big lesson. Just like you can't force a child to learn without causing him to
fear the world, you can't force a grown man to think the way you do without causing fear in him,
as well. But thanks again to all who've given advice, links, and support. It's good to know that
others have been in the same situation and have had it work out successfully. I have faith that
it will for us, too, in it's own time. (And rarely does anything worthwhile come easily ;-})

Anastasia