Re: Intro, etc
crissyhall
Jann, thanks for the welcome! We live in MN. I have *tried* to
check out Anne's group and I do belong to it, but I just can't keep up
with all the posts. There is so much I want to read and not enough
time (I'm a slow reader on top of it), and I'm easily overwhelmed, so
I just stick around here ;) (((hugs))) on all you're going through.
Ren, I was so happy to hear my "review" made your day. The break out
session that you and Sandra led for "Mindful Parenting" had the
biggest impact on my dh. So if you can explain my radical "crunchy"
idea to "Mr. Logical" (who needs "scientific proof"), that's saying A
LOT! :)
Now you made my day when you said that I was being mindful and
respectful! I know that I have a long way to go, but it's good to
know that I'm moving in the right direction. I really need to work on
being more "present" with the kids and trying to make transitions
easier. I tend to "hide" from the kids when I'm overwhelmed and of
course it's just a vicious cycle.
"Solve issues without blame, without name calling. When it happens I
say "that isn't a
helpful way to solve this problem, let's focus on how everyone can get
what they need right now" Ah that's awesome! I'm going to paste that
around my house to help me remember that! I just use that and it
worked!!! And it was with the 2 kids that fight the most!
Danielle, that's a really good point about putting all my energy into
making it as easy as possible for him when he does get carted along
and doing it without resentment (that's a tough one). We have turned
down things that I know that he would just be miserable at, and the
other kids know that we can't do it because of Nate, but he doesn't. I
had thought about seeing if he was ready to play some board games to
get the idea of taking turns. It's the girls' turn to go swimming,
it's your turn to stay home and ride your bike.
I need to make a trip to the $ store!
Pam, I was LMBO when you said you just happened to have chop sticks
and cotton balls in your van! Now I'm going to have to find some
because that sounds fun. I really need to remember how important it
is to "keep the focus on the kids". Your post about having very
little time to write a speech and still making time for your dd when
she called, and she knew that you would make time for her no matter
what, that has really stayed with me. I want that for myself and my
kids. I want them to know that they are the most important but I
haven't done a good job of showing it *yet*!!!
I'm so grateful to finding out about unschooling and mindful parenting
( I wish I would have found it 10 years earlier though!) and for
having someone to show that there are other options. I've heard that
if Nate "spent a day at their house" he would be happy to have a mom
like me. That he would behave better if I was stricter with him. It's
really hard to find the middle ground between being permissive or a
martyr and authoritarian and disrespectful and I finding myself going
back and forth out of frustration.
"But sometimes they really can't and if the mom could only see it from
a different vantage point, I think she'd see that the time spent NOW
with the needy child will do more to create peace in her family then
the benefit mom will get from the adult interaction." Another one I
have to paste up to remind me!
check out Anne's group and I do belong to it, but I just can't keep up
with all the posts. There is so much I want to read and not enough
time (I'm a slow reader on top of it), and I'm easily overwhelmed, so
I just stick around here ;) (((hugs))) on all you're going through.
Ren, I was so happy to hear my "review" made your day. The break out
session that you and Sandra led for "Mindful Parenting" had the
biggest impact on my dh. So if you can explain my radical "crunchy"
idea to "Mr. Logical" (who needs "scientific proof"), that's saying A
LOT! :)
Now you made my day when you said that I was being mindful and
respectful! I know that I have a long way to go, but it's good to
know that I'm moving in the right direction. I really need to work on
being more "present" with the kids and trying to make transitions
easier. I tend to "hide" from the kids when I'm overwhelmed and of
course it's just a vicious cycle.
"Solve issues without blame, without name calling. When it happens I
say "that isn't a
helpful way to solve this problem, let's focus on how everyone can get
what they need right now" Ah that's awesome! I'm going to paste that
around my house to help me remember that! I just use that and it
worked!!! And it was with the 2 kids that fight the most!
Danielle, that's a really good point about putting all my energy into
making it as easy as possible for him when he does get carted along
and doing it without resentment (that's a tough one). We have turned
down things that I know that he would just be miserable at, and the
other kids know that we can't do it because of Nate, but he doesn't. I
had thought about seeing if he was ready to play some board games to
get the idea of taking turns. It's the girls' turn to go swimming,
it's your turn to stay home and ride your bike.
I need to make a trip to the $ store!
Pam, I was LMBO when you said you just happened to have chop sticks
and cotton balls in your van! Now I'm going to have to find some
because that sounds fun. I really need to remember how important it
is to "keep the focus on the kids". Your post about having very
little time to write a speech and still making time for your dd when
she called, and she knew that you would make time for her no matter
what, that has really stayed with me. I want that for myself and my
kids. I want them to know that they are the most important but I
haven't done a good job of showing it *yet*!!!
I'm so grateful to finding out about unschooling and mindful parenting
( I wish I would have found it 10 years earlier though!) and for
having someone to show that there are other options. I've heard that
if Nate "spent a day at their house" he would be happy to have a mom
like me. That he would behave better if I was stricter with him. It's
really hard to find the middle ground between being permissive or a
martyr and authoritarian and disrespectful and I finding myself going
back and forth out of frustration.
"But sometimes they really can't and if the mom could only see it from
a different vantage point, I think she'd see that the time spent NOW
with the needy child will do more to create peace in her family then
the benefit mom will get from the adult interaction." Another one I
have to paste up to remind me!
polykow
HI Crissy!!! I was almost sure it was you!!
Its Alex...we met last winter at Peapsquick( SP???)
I am sorry we lost touch. Its been a crazy year. I was preggo when I met you and I lost that baby at almost 14 weeks. Well I am due again February 4th.
I did meet Josefina we have been close friends with her and her son but they just moved up to the cities.
I lurk here and I love it also. I probably check my e-mail 4 or 5 times a day just to read all the wonderful discussions here.
I also just got Rue's book and I read it in 2 days. It is great.
If you remember I have a son who will be 4 next June. He was always very "high need" and intense. He is wonderful!
I also trying to learn as much as possible about having more than one child. I want to be better. I get all the unschooling life and we have been unschoolers (even without knowing) from day one) but I make too many mistake. I catch myself saying horrible things and getting really frustrated at times..
Well I hope we can get together again sometime.
Great to "see" you.,
Alex
Its Alex...we met last winter at Peapsquick( SP???)
I am sorry we lost touch. Its been a crazy year. I was preggo when I met you and I lost that baby at almost 14 weeks. Well I am due again February 4th.
I did meet Josefina we have been close friends with her and her son but they just moved up to the cities.
I lurk here and I love it also. I probably check my e-mail 4 or 5 times a day just to read all the wonderful discussions here.
I also just got Rue's book and I read it in 2 days. It is great.
If you remember I have a son who will be 4 next June. He was always very "high need" and intense. He is wonderful!
I also trying to learn as much as possible about having more than one child. I want to be better. I get all the unschooling life and we have been unschoolers (even without knowing) from day one) but I make too many mistake. I catch myself saying horrible things and getting really frustrated at times..
Well I hope we can get together again sometime.
Great to "see" you.,
Alex
----- Original Message -----
From: crissyhall
To: [email protected]
Sent: Wednesday, November 16, 2005 11:41 AM
Subject: [unschoolingbasics] Re: Intro, etc
Jann, thanks for the welcome! We live in MN. I have *tried* to
check out Anne's group and I do belong to it, but I just can't keep up
with all the posts. There is so much I want to read and not enough
time (I'm a slow reader on top of it), and I'm easily overwhelmed, so
I just stick around here ;) (((hugs))) on all you're going through.
Ren, I was so happy to hear my "review" made your day. The break out
session that you and Sandra led for "Mindful Parenting" had the
biggest impact on my dh. So if you can explain my radical "crunchy"
idea to "Mr. Logical" (who needs "scientific proof"), that's saying A
LOT! :)
Now you made my day when you said that I was being mindful and
respectful! I know that I have a long way to go, but it's good to
know that I'm moving in the right direction. I really need to work on
being more "present" with the kids and trying to make transitions
easier. I tend to "hide" from the kids when I'm overwhelmed and of
course it's just a vicious cycle.
"Solve issues without blame, without name calling. When it happens I
say "that isn't a
helpful way to solve this problem, let's focus on how everyone can get
what they need right now" Ah that's awesome! I'm going to paste that
around my house to help me remember that! I just use that and it
worked!!! And it was with the 2 kids that fight the most!
Danielle, that's a really good point about putting all my energy into
making it as easy as possible for him when he does get carted along
and doing it without resentment (that's a tough one). We have turned
down things that I know that he would just be miserable at, and the
other kids know that we can't do it because of Nate, but he doesn't. I
had thought about seeing if he was ready to play some board games to
get the idea of taking turns. It's the girls' turn to go swimming,
it's your turn to stay home and ride your bike.
I need to make a trip to the $ store!
Pam, I was LMBO when you said you just happened to have chop sticks
and cotton balls in your van! Now I'm going to have to find some
because that sounds fun. I really need to remember how important it
is to "keep the focus on the kids". Your post about having very
little time to write a speech and still making time for your dd when
she called, and she knew that you would make time for her no matter
what, that has really stayed with me. I want that for myself and my
kids. I want them to know that they are the most important but I
haven't done a good job of showing it *yet*!!!
I'm so grateful to finding out about unschooling and mindful parenting
( I wish I would have found it 10 years earlier though!) and for
having someone to show that there are other options. I've heard that
if Nate "spent a day at their house" he would be happy to have a mom
like me. That he would behave better if I was stricter with him. It's
really hard to find the middle ground between being permissive or a
martyr and authoritarian and disrespectful and I finding myself going
back and forth out of frustration.
"But sometimes they really can't and if the mom could only see it from
a different vantage point, I think she'd see that the time spent NOW
with the needy child will do more to create peace in her family then
the benefit mom will get from the adult interaction." Another one I
have to paste up to remind me!
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jlh44music
> Jann, thanks for the welcome! We live in MN. I have *tried* tocheck out Anne's group and I do belong to it, but I just can't keep up
with all the posts. There is so much I want to read and not enough
time (I'm a slow reader on top of it), and I'm easily overwhelmed, so I
just stick around here ;) (((hugs))) on all you're going through.>>>
Thanks for the hugs, we'll get through it. I understand about too much
to read. I have to scan some days. This is a great place.
Jann