jlh44music

We have a dilemma that I need some input on. Danielle is going
through the adjustment of being home since this past June,
deschooling has finally hit a "wall", I'm not sure how to handle it.
She says she doesn't know "what to do". We've talked about her
pursuing things she's interested in, but it's so ingrained in her to
be led and told what to do next, that I think she's having a hard
time being "free". So, I'm thinking I need to start scheduling some
things for us to do, to get her out and about (SHE wanted to "chill"
at first, and NOT do any of the planned outings etc that our local
homeschool group plans, which I respected). We talked about that
last night, and she agrees. Part of it I think is that her closest
friend (she met her in summer camp 2 yrs ago, lives 2 towns away) is
in school, they talk every day, and I think she's missing the social
part of being in school. Being an only child too, I think she's
beginning to feel a bit alienated, even though, again, she usually
likes her alone time. We talked about the reasons we chose to
homeschool, the difficulties she's had with transitions at school,
falling behind, her learning style not fitting in with how they teach
etc etc. I wanted to give her the time to deschool, but now I'm
feeling a bit lost. I'm committed to unschooling, but I wonder if
she needs a bit of structure (not "school at home" structure, but
planned activities).

We've had a lot of other issues to deal with, my MIL being moved a
couple of weeks ago from assisted living to an Alzheimer's nursing
facility, her house is still not sold, we've had to go to the Cape a
lot (100 miles away) to do some cosmetic improvements. Because of all
that's been going on with my MIL etc, it's worked that Danielle has
had some space and I could help my husband get through all this
(well, there's still the house for sale), plus I'VE had to adjust to
being home (I've ALWAYS worked full time, it's been more of a culture
shock than I thought, although I've been busy with all that's been
going on in our lives).

I think it's easier to homeschool from the beginning, and it's hard
to find kids in her age group whether they've been home from the
beginning or were pulled from school (or like minded people, which is
what I eventually hope more for, finding others who share her
passions, no matter their age, and she's STUCK (so much for child-led
learning!)).

We talked last night about all this (it's the second time it's come
up in the past couple of weeks) and she said she think she might like
to try high school (which would be 2 years from now, she would have
been in 7th grade this year). I feel it's the social aspect she's
missing, even though she didn't have a lot of friends and many of the
kids thought she was "weird". I realize this is in the future, and
we talked about how she would have to prepare to be able to do the
work at the 9th grade level if she decided to return to school. I
don't think she understands what this would entail. One of the main
reasons she's so far been enjoying NOT being in school is that she
doesn't have to feel the pressure of "learning" things that they say
she has to and following their time table.

I could really use some words of wisdom.
Jann

[email protected]

Jann: Thank you for writing about the deschooling dilemma. My sons are 12 soon to be 13 and have only been out of school for three years. I did school at home at first so their deschooling has really only been over the last year or so. Even with that I find that they look to the outside for motivation alot and look to me and the homeschooling cooperative we're a part of for structure. I often wonder what is the balance of structuring activities that they seem to want to do and giving them just alot alot of open unstructured "play" time. They grew up (regrettably from my point of view, now) in a school setting. I see how "comfortable" (read compliant) they are with schoolish settings. (They wanted to join some activities in the homeschooling coop to be with other kids, it seems to me they tolerate/comply with schoolish kind of activities in order to have the opportunity to socialize. ) But I do invite kids from the coop situation over for "just" fun activities . . . so I realize I need to make opportunities for them to socialize that are not just around classes or expressed interests. Also, in speaking with families who have unschooled always or alot longer than we have, this is the age that some unschooled young people decide to pursue more schoolish skills. So, at the same time I certainly don't want to keep my sons from writing or computation or any and all reading that they might want to do. Perhaps I'm sounding too cynical, or I'm tending to throw the baby out with the bath water and keep them from activities that seem schoolish to me. I have no words of wisdom, I have to defer to those on the list more experienced than I am -- but I do identify with your dilemna, you're certainly not alone. And by the way we're in Boston area . . . are you also?

best, Ann.

jlh44music

> Jann: Thank you for writing about the deschooling dilemma. My
sons are 12 soon to be 13 and have only been out of school for
three years. I did school at home at first so their deschooling has
really only been over the last year or so. Even with that I find
that they look to the outside for motivation alot and look to me and
the homeschooling cooperative we're a part of for structure. .......
Perhaps I'm sounding too cynical, or I'm tending to throw the baby
out with the bath water and keep them from activities that seem
schoolish to me. I have no words of wisdom, I have to defer to
those on the list more experienced than I am -- but I do identify
with your dilemna, you're certainly not alone. And by the way we're
in Boston area . . . are you also?
>
> best, Ann.
>
Hi Ann,
Thanks for your thoughts. We live in North Reading - where are you
located? She was so stressed at the end of 6th grade because she
needs more time to transition, and really does best if allowed to
finish what she's "working on" to completion, and of course this
doesn't happen in middle school, the bell rings and they have to drop
what they're doing and move on. She kept falling more and more
behind, even trying to help her at night didn't do it. She doesn't
enjoy reading for pleasure, hated what they were doing in math, she
loves her computer and video games, is not a girly girl, is cautious
by nature, also a bit of a worrier and of course the hormonal changes
are starting to be felt (we talk a lot about it, oh, and she's a
talker, which is great because it helps her to be able to express
what's on her mind (sometimes we have to talk about it SEVERAL times,
but that's just part of her anxious nature)). I haven't done
ANYTHING schooly, stricly let her deschool, which has been mostly
World of Warcraft on the computer, some video games, some TV/movies
and SLEEPING IN!

"I" know that unschooling works, but now I'm finding it's only in my
mind, and I don't think I'm doing a very good job of "living" it with
her (if that makes sense).
Jann

[email protected]

<<I could use some words of wisdom>>

You posted you and your daughter are talking about the issue. That is the most important thing.

Actually, I don't know any unschoolers with "NO STRUCTURE". They usually have things they do, routines they follow. It just isn't a rigid, externally imposed structure. You think she might like some activities, she thinks she might like some activities. I think you should sign her up for some activities. Now is her chance to try something she has always wanted to try. If she likes it, she can keep doing it. If she doesn't, she doesn't have to.

Julie S.

----- Original Message -----
From: jlh44music <jlh44music@...>
Date: Tuesday, November 8, 2005 12:46 pm
Subject: [unschoolingbasics] Deschooling Dilemma

> We have a dilemma that I need some input on. Danielle is going
> through the adjustment of being home since this past June,
> deschooling has finally hit a "wall", I'm not sure how to handle
> it.
> She says she doesn't know "what to do". We've talked about her
> pursuing things she's interested in, but it's so ingrained in her
> to
> be led and told what to do next, that I think she's having a hard
> time being "free". So, I'm thinking I need to start scheduling
> some
> things for us to do, to get her out and about (SHE wanted to
> "chill"
> at first, and NOT do any of the planned outings etc that our local
> homeschool group plans, which I respected). We talked about that
> last night, and she agrees. Part of it I think is that her
> closest
> friend (she met her in summer camp 2 yrs ago, lives 2 towns away)
> is
> in school, they talk every day, and I think she's missing the
> social
> part of being in school. Being an only child too, I think she's
> beginning to feel a bit alienated, even though, again, she usually
> likes her alone time. We talked about the reasons we chose to
> homeschool, the difficulties she's had with transitions at school,
> falling behind, her learning style not fitting in with how they
> teach
> etc etc. I wanted to give her the time to deschool, but now I'm
> feeling a bit lost. I'm committed to unschooling, but I wonder if
> she needs a bit of structure (not "school at home" structure, but
> planned activities).
>
> We've had a lot of other issues to deal with, my MIL being moved a
> couple of weeks ago from assisted living to an Alzheimer's nursing
> facility, her house is still not sold, we've had to go to the Cape
> a
> lot (100 miles away) to do some cosmetic improvements. Because of
> all
> that's been going on with my MIL etc, it's worked that Danielle
> has
> had some space and I could help my husband get through all this
> (well, there's still the house for sale), plus I'VE had to adjust
> to
> being home (I've ALWAYS worked full time, it's been more of a
> culture
> shock than I thought, although I've been busy with all that's been
> going on in our lives).
>
> I think it's easier to homeschool from the beginning, and it's
> hard
> to find kids in her age group whether they've been home from the
> beginning or were pulled from school (or like minded people, which
> is
> what I eventually hope more for, finding others who share her
> passions, no matter their age, and she's STUCK (so much for child-
> led
> learning!)).
>
> We talked last night about all this (it's the second time it's
> come
> up in the past couple of weeks) and she said she think she might
> like
> to try high school (which would be 2 years from now, she would
> have
> been in 7th grade this year). I feel it's the social aspect she's
> missing, even though she didn't have a lot of friends and many of
> the
> kids thought she was "weird". I realize this is in the future,
> and
> we talked about how she would have to prepare to be able to do the
> work at the 9th grade level if she decided to return to school.
> I
> don't think she understands what this would entail. One of the
> main
> reasons she's so far been enjoying NOT being in school is that she
> doesn't have to feel the pressure of "learning" things that they
> say
> she has to and following their time table.
>
> I could really use some words of wisdom.
> Jann
>
>
>
>
>
>
> ------------------------ Yahoo! Groups Sponsor --------------------
> ~-->
> Get fast access to your favorite Yahoo! Groups. Make Yahoo! your
> home page
> http://us.click.yahoo.com/dpRU5A/wUILAA/yQLSAA/0xXolB/TM
> -------------------------------------------------------------------
> -~->
>
>
> Yahoo! Groups Links
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>

jlh44music

> <<I could use some words of wisdom>>

> You posted you and your daughter are talking about the issue. That
is the most important thing.

> Actually, I don't know any unschoolers with "NO STRUCTURE". They
usually have things they do, routines they follow. It just isn't a
rigid, externally imposed structure. You think she might like some
activities, she thinks she might like some activities. I think you
should sign her up for some activities. Now is her chance to try
something she has always wanted to try. If she likes it, she can
keep doing it. If she doesn't, she doesn't have to.

> Julie S.
>
> ----- Original Message -----
> From: jlh44music <jlh44music@y...>
> Date: Tuesday, November 8, 2005 12:46 pm
> Subject: [unschoolingbasics] Deschooling Dilemma
>
> > We have a dilemma that I need some input on. Danielle is going
> > through the adjustment of being home since this past June,
> > deschooling has finally hit a "wall", I'm not sure how to handle
> > it.
> > She says she doesn't know "what to do". We've talked about her
> > pursuing things she's interested in, but it's so ingrained in her
> > to
> > be led and told what to do next, that I think she's having a hard
> > time being "free". So, I'm thinking I need to start scheduling
> > some
> > things for us to do, to get her out and about (SHE wanted to
> > "chill"
> > at first, and NOT do any of the planned outings etc that our
local
> > homeschool group plans, which I respected). We talked about that
> > last night, and she agrees. Part of it I think is that her
> > closest
> > friend (she met her in summer camp 2 yrs ago, lives 2 towns away)
> > is
> > in school, they talk every day, and I think she's missing the
> > social
> > part of being in school. Being an only child too, I think she's
> > beginning to feel a bit alienated, even though, again, she
usually
> > likes her alone time. We talked about the reasons we chose to
> > homeschool, the difficulties she's had with transitions at
school,
> > falling behind, her learning style not fitting in with how they
> > teach
> > etc etc. I wanted to give her the time to deschool, but now I'm
> > feeling a bit lost. I'm committed to unschooling, but I wonder
if
> > she needs a bit of structure (not "school at home" structure, but
> > planned activities).
> >
> > We've had a lot of other issues to deal with, my MIL being moved
a
> > couple of weeks ago from assisted living to an Alzheimer's
nursing
> > facility, her house is still not sold, we've had to go to the
Cape
> > a
> > lot (100 miles away) to do some cosmetic improvements. Because of
> > all
> > that's been going on with my MIL etc, it's worked that Danielle
> > has
> > had some space and I could help my husband get through all this
> > (well, there's still the house for sale), plus I'VE had to adjust
> > to
> > being home (I've ALWAYS worked full time, it's been more of a
> > culture
> > shock than I thought, although I've been busy with all that's
been
> > going on in our lives).
> >
> > I think it's easier to homeschool from the beginning, and it's
> > hard
> > to find kids in her age group whether they've been home from the
> > beginning or were pulled from school (or like minded people,
which
> > is
> > what I eventually hope more for, finding others who share her
> > passions, no matter their age, and she's STUCK (so much for child-
> > led
> > learning!)).
> >
> > We talked last night about all this (it's the second time it's
> > come
> > up in the past couple of weeks) and she said she think she might
> > like
> > to try high school (which would be 2 years from now, she would
> > have
> > been in 7th grade this year). I feel it's the social aspect
she's
> > missing, even though she didn't have a lot of friends and many of
> > the
> > kids thought she was "weird". I realize this is in the future,
> > and
> > we talked about how she would have to prepare to be able to do
the
> > work at the 9th grade level if she decided to return to school.
> > I
> > don't think she understands what this would entail. One of the
> > main
> > reasons she's so far been enjoying NOT being in school is that
she
> > doesn't have to feel the pressure of "learning" things that they
> > say
> > she has to and following their time table.
> >
> > I could really use some words of wisdom.
> > Jann
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> > ------------------------ Yahoo! Groups Sponsor -------------------
-
> > ~-->
> > Get fast access to your favorite Yahoo! Groups. Make Yahoo! your
> > home page
> > http://us.click.yahoo.com/dpRU5A/wUILAA/yQLSAA/0xXolB/TM
> > ------------------------------------------------------------------
-
> > -~->
> >
> >
> > Yahoo! Groups Links
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
>

jlh44music

(OOPS! Pushed the send button before finishing my post, so disregard
the last one - not awake yet!)
> You posted you and your daughter are talking about the issue. That
is the most important thing.>>

Yes, I'm glad she's so willing to talk about things (MOST of the time,
I've always encouraged it all "the good, the bad and the ugly" we call
it. When I was growing up it wasn't OK to have a "different" opinion
or negative feeling, and I want her to be able to express it all, her
true self. Where else but the safety of home can you learn how to
handle all those things?
Jann

[email protected]

We went through the same thing with Cameron. I took him out at the end of sixth grade. He felt helpless and at a loss about almost everytihng. His "friends" kept telling him he'd be stupid. The homeschoolers we met were just plain weird. He really wasn't happy.

Time helped. Patience (on both our parts). The only thing he *finally* wanted to do was to skateboard (ugh!), so we fed that as much as posssible. But the kids he was skating with were schooled and so added to that turmoil.

He really kept a low profile for a very long time---just so uncomfortable with himself. But the skating led to filming, and he made some film-friends---most of whom were older than he was. He felt so much more comfortable around people in their twenties; he started hanging around them and their friends. He had a friend in his forties (also a friend of ours). Then the film-making led to musicians---and THAT's where he found his REAL passion!

Again---he hangs out with guys in their twenties. They don't tell him he's going to be stupid---in fact, most of them wish they had his life when they were his age! <g> They're all pursuing their passions.

His schooled friends are now drowning in school and busywork and unconcerned parents. It's sad.

Cameron, after four years of struggling with who he is, is finally SOOO comfortable with who he is! I blame school (and my school mind-set) for that horrible damage done to my bright, eager, smart baby.

He had nothing to do with the conference the first three years, and he refused to go to Not Back to School Camp even though I suggested it every single year it's been on the east coast. He finally agreed to go this year. He's a changed man! He found so many people *just* like him---he fit right in the moment he stepped out of the car!

He thoroughly enjoyed the conference this year and was surrounded by other unschoolers who are just as comfortable as he is. It was wonderful!

I cannot stress enough the NEED for unschooling children to be connected with other unschooling children! (Helps the parents a lot too!) In the case of a lack of unschoolers, try young adults with the same passions.

Time and Patience too! Be as interested and as interesting as *you* can be too!

This age is hard---especially when just out of school. Get her to Not Back to School Camp if at all possible---there are scholarships available. The conference would help her immensely too! Make a huge effort to get her hooked up with unschoolers!


~Kelly

Kelly Lovejoy
Conference Coordinator
Live and Learn Unschooling Conference
http://liveandlearnconference.org


-----Original Message-----
From: jlh44music <jlh44music@...>
To: [email protected]
Sent: Tue, 08 Nov 2005 18:46:20 -0000
Subject: [unschoolingbasics] Deschooling Dilemma


We have a dilemma that I need some input on. Danielle is going
through the adjustment of being home since this past June,
deschooling has finally hit a "wall", I'm not sure how to handle it.
She says she doesn't know "what to do". We've talked about her
pursuing things she's interested in, but it's so ingrained in her to
be led and told what to do next, that I think she's having a hard
time being "free". So, I'm thinking I need to start scheduling some
things for us to do, to get her out and about (SHE wanted to "chill"
at first, and NOT do any of the planned outings etc that our local
homeschool group plans, which I respected). We talked about that
last night, and she agrees. Part of it I think is that her closest
friend (she met her in summer camp 2 yrs ago, lives 2 towns away) is
in school, they talk every day, and I think she's missing the social
part of being in school. Being an only child too, I think she's
beginning to feel a bit alienated, even though, again, she usually
likes her alone time. We talked about the reasons we chose to
homeschool, the difficulties she's had with transitions at school,
falling behind, her learning style not fitting in with how they teach
etc etc. I wanted to give her the time to deschool, but now I'm
feeling a bit lost. I'm committed to unschooling, but I wonder if
she needs a bit of structure (not "school at home" structure, but
planned activities).

We've had a lot of other issues to deal with, my MIL being moved a
couple of weeks ago from assisted living to an Alzheimer's nursing
facility, her house is still not sold, we've had to go to the Cape a
lot (100 miles away) to do some cosmetic improvements. Because of all
that's been going on with my MIL etc, it's worked that Danielle has
had some space and I could help my husband get through all this
(well, there's still the house for sale), plus I'VE had to adjust to
being home (I've ALWAYS worked full time, it's been more of a culture
shock than I thought, although I've been busy with all that's been
going on in our lives).

I think it's easier to homeschool from the beginning, and it's hard
to find kids in her age group whether they've been home from the
beginning or were pulled from school (or like minded people, which is
what I eventually hope more for, finding others who share her
passions, no matter their age, and she's STUCK (so much for child-led
learning!)).

We talked last night about all this (it's the second time it's come
up in the past couple of weeks) and she said she think she might like
to try high school (which would be 2 years from now, she would have
been in 7th grade this year). I feel it's the social aspect she's
missing, even though she didn't have a lot of friends and many of the
kids thought she was "weird". I realize this is in the future, and
we talked about how she would have to prepare to be able to do the
work at the 9th grade level if she decided to return to school. I
don't think she understands what this would entail. One of the main
reasons she's so far been enjoying NOT being in school is that she
doesn't have to feel the pressure of "learning" things that they say
she has to and following their time table.

I could really use some words of wisdom.
Jann


[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

jlh44music

> His schooled friends are now drowning in school and busywork and
unconcerned parents. It's sad.
> Cameron, after four years of struggling with who he is, is finally
SOOO comfortable with who he is! I blame school (and my school mind-
set) for that horrible damage done to my bright, eager, smart baby.

Thanks for sharing your story about Cameron. I know this is a
process, and I'm not looking for a quick fix. Venting, and I've been
holding everything else that's going on in our lives together for so
long this past year, I think it's caught up to me. I'm grateful to
have this group to share things with and learn from (I wish you all
lived nearby! Sometimes talking in person is what's needed).

> He thoroughly enjoyed the conference this year and was surrounded
by other unschoolers who are just as comfortable as he is. It was
wonderful!>>>

Don't know if we can make it to NM, but we're definitely going to be
at the New England mini conference that Kathryn's working on!

> I cannot stress enough the NEED for unschooling children to be
connected with other unschooling children! (Helps the parents a lot
too!) In the case of a lack of unschoolers, try young adults with the
same passions.>>>

I TOTALLY AGREE! But it's hard to find many nearby (we've met
Kathryn and Julian, Rue lives about an hour away and we're working on
getting together soon, but there aren't a lot of unschoolers (in her
age range) that I've found, so far, nearby.)

> Time and Patience too! Be as interested and as interesting as *you*
can be too!>>>>

I'm always involved in something, she sees my actively pursuing
things that interest me. We need to find things that interest
her. She keeps saying "I don't know what to do!".

> This age is hard---especially when just out of school. Get her to
Not Back to School Camp if at all possible---there are scholarships
available. The conference would help her immensely too! Make a huge
effort to get her hooked up with unschoolers!>>>

Is Not Back to School Camp an overnight camp? Where is it? She won't
go on a sleepover, never mind an overnight camp (we have our bedtime
routine she needs and is not ready to sleep at someone elses house.
Despite her statement about being away from me so she can miss me,
she considers home and our routines her haven). She's been to
summer (day) camp (because I was working full time), some good, some
bad, I wasn't working this past summmer, and since I didn't need for
her to be someplace because I was no longer working, told her we
could afford 2 weeks. She had to get up at 6:30AM to go, but she did
it, but I'm not sure she really enjoyed it, she mostly went because
her phone friend went and she hoped to reconnect with a few other
kids she met the previous year, but they weren't there those weeks,
just one I think.

I HAVE been making an effort to hook up with other unschoolers, as I
mentioned above. I'm hoping we meet others in May.
Thanks Kelly, as always, for your words of wisdom!
Jann

[email protected]

-----Original Message-----
From: jlh44music jlh44music@...

Don't know if we can make it to NM, but we're definitely going to be
at the New England mini conference that Kathryn's working on!

-=-=-

Me too! <g>



~Kelly

Kelly Lovejoy
Conference Coordinator
Live and Learn Unschooling Conference
http://liveandlearnconference.org



[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

jlh44music

> Don't know if we can make it to NM, but we're definitely going to be
at the New England mini conference that Kathryn's working on!
> -=-=-
> Me too! <g>

Great! I look forward to meeting you then!
Jann

[email protected]

In a message dated 11/9/2005 11:26:36 AM Eastern Standard Time,
jlh44music@... writes:

I TOTALLY AGREE! But it's hard to find many nearby (we've met
Kathryn and Julian, Rue lives about an hour away and we're working on
getting together soon, but there aren't a lot of unschoolers (in her
age range) that I've found, so far, nearby.)


~~~~~~~~~~
I totally agree with this, about it being difficult finding other
unschoolers... I live on the other end of the state as Jann and I think homeschoolers
in my area are practically non-existant! I'm surprised since I live in an area
where "alternative lifestyles" of any degree are the "norm". My son takes a
homeschooler's art class once a week, and there are only 3 other kids in the
class! They are older than my son, and the 3 of them are friends already (one
of the precocious girls announced that they "homeschool" in their
"school"... the parents apparently school all 3 together). The first day of the class,
we all met each other and the other parents were VERY unfriendly towards me.
They are much older than me, and very earthy-crunchy, "hippie-like". The only
other homeschoolers I met were very structured and not very open to
"unschooling".

Jenny
Unschooling in Greenfield, MA
Danny (12-1-99), Kelsey (11-1-01) and Evelyn (5-19-04)
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
The important thing is not so much that every child should be taught, as
that every child should be given the wish to learn. ~John Lubbock



[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

jlh44music

> I totally agree with this, about it being difficult finding other
unschoolers... I live on the other end of the state as Jann and I think
homeschoolers in my area are practically non-existant! I'm surprised
since I live in an area where "alternative lifestyles" of any degree
are the "norm"..... The first day of the class, we all met each other
and the other parents were VERY unfriendly towards me. They are much
older than me, and very earthy-crunchy, "hippie-like". The only other
homeschoolers I met were very structured and not very open
to "unschooling".>>>

That's too bad Jenny. Sounds like they're of MY generation (I just
turned 50), I had my dd when I was 37, I have some "earthy-crunchy"
hippie-like friends (that's one of my favorite ways to describe them
too! Not necessarily negative, but I know exactly what you mean). I
guess it takes all types and there are many ways to
homeschool/unschool. They may have banded together because there ARE
so few who homeschool (unschool) and may feel "unaccepted" in general
because of their "alternative lifestyles" instead of embracing their
life style choice. Maybe you'll have to the the "bigger" person and
try again to reach out to them, or at least not let it bother you and
act as if it's "no big deal". I guess we'll have to keep looking!
Jann

[email protected]

In a message dated 11/10/2005 12:15:22 PM Eastern Standard Time,
jlh44music@... writes:

Maybe you'll have to the the "bigger" person and
try again to reach out to them, or at least not let it bother you and
act as if it's "no big deal".


~~~~~~~~~~
Eh, not worth my time, at this point. The 2 ladies are friends (2 of the
children in class are siblings.). The gray-haired lady glowered at me like you
wouldn't believe. And the other woman, I saw her smack her youngest (looks
about 2-3 years old) a few times on Monday in my rear view mirror. Explains where
her daughter's attitude in class came from. I stayed the first class for 1/2
hour at my son's request and the teacher had to speak to this girl once in
that time. Yikes... Danny has said that she's a mean girl.

Jenny
Unschooling in Greenfield, MA
Danny (12-1-99), Kelsey (11-1-01) and Evelyn (5-19-04)
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
The important thing is not so much that every child should be taught, as
that every child should be given the wish to learn. ~John Lubbock



[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

jlh44music

>....And the other woman, I saw her smack her youngest (looks
> about 2-3 years old) a few times on Monday in my rear view mirror.
Explains where her daughter's attitude in class came from. I stayed
the first class for 1/2 hour at my son's request and the teacher had
to speak to this girl once in that time. Yikes... Danny has said that
she's a mean girl.>>>>>

Gee, I wonder why....
Jann

k

Personality conflicts. That's what stymies my meeting others too. Not

to mention it again --I live in the SE US.... verrrrrry conservative.
Culture AND personality clash for me. I try to keep clashing to a
minimum, which means I don't say what I think and hope people won't
reject me out of hand for being myself. The southern culture is polite

and can be incredibly austere at times. Kids and old people are
*sometimes* friendly. But I'm sure many who would like to be open hide

themselves like I do because of the cultural climate.

Why the heck am I here.... uh. That's a whole nuther thing.

I might successfully meet like minds by saying exactly what my goals
are
and hopefully those who are kindled to interest would respond with
similar goals. If I could brave it. That's the hard part for me. I
hate wading through Muck to get to greener pastures. I wish Luck would

simply smile on me, yk?

Kathe






Saulithyia@... wrote:
>
> In a message dated 11/9/2005 11:26:36 AM Eastern Standard Time,
> jlh44music@... writes:
>
> I TOTALLY AGREE! But it's hard to find many nearby (we've met
> Kathryn and Julian, Rue lives about an hour away and we're working
on
> getting together soon, but there aren't a lot of unschoolers (in her

> age range) that I've found, so far, nearby.)
>
>
> ~~~~~~~~~~
> I totally agree with this, about it being difficult finding other
> unschoolers... I live on the other end of the state as Jann and I
think homeschoolers
> in my area are practically non-existant! I'm surprised since I live
in an area
> where "alternative lifestyles" of any degree are the "norm". My son
takes a
> homeschooler's art class once a week, and there are only 3 other
kids in the
> class! They are older than my son, and the 3 of them are friends
already (one
> of the precocious girls announced that they "homeschool" in their
> "school"... the parents apparently school all 3 together). The first
day of the class,
> we all met each other and the other parents were VERY unfriendly
towards me.
> They are much older than me, and very earthy-crunchy, "hippie-like".
The only
> other homeschoolers I met were very structured and not very open to
> "unschooling".
>
> Jenny



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Mother Earth (Tyra)

Hey Kathe!

I am in the southeast, too! As a matter of fact I was born and raised in MS, went to school in GA and live in TN and I DON"T fit in either. The way you describe yourself is very similar to how I would describe my interaction with other hsing mothers. I have decided that I try to meet them on common ground but realize that there will only be the few who I truly come to trust. I have found that I am a bit cautious with speaking about unschooling because curricula seem to be the rave in the hsing community. I am still trying to figure out why do school at home. Our children's learning should be radically different is how I am seeing it these days.

But anyway, I feel good reading your words because they very accurately describe me, too.

Much Love
Tyra
----- Original Message -----
From: k
To: [email protected]
Sent: Saturday, November 19, 2005 1:55 PM
Subject: Re: [unschoolingbasics] Re: Deschooling Dilemma


Personality conflicts. That's what stymies my meeting others too. Not

to mention it again --I live in the SE US.... verrrrrry conservative.
Culture AND personality clash for me.

[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]