detoxing
frozenandcold
Summoning Ren!! My sister, Ren, is very good at this sort of
advice! I will give it my best shot though. I do think that moving
into the radical part of unschooling needs to be done slowly and
with much thought, kind of slithering into it at a natural pace.
For our family it was a slow process simply because I didn't "get"
it all at once, it just seemed to happen naturally, for the most
part. I think kids do better when they know what to expect and when
you just do 180 degree shift they don't know what is going on. I
like to think of myself as someone who helps guide my children into
the things that feel right for them, and helping them to know what
their bodies are telling them and how to listen to that. I also
like to think as a team, in that we have to work together so that
everyone is happy and joyful; sometimes that means not always
getting exactly what you want, but enough of what you wanted that
your joy is not taken. Does that make sense? Letting your children
do whatever they want, at the expense of others emotional well-being
is not healthy.
*Ds (5) digss up all the shale from the back path to make a volcano.
DH and I both have strong feelings but work it through had allow him
to proceed without dumping any further judgment on him.*
Could you have found other materials for him that would have pleased
him just as much, allowed him to do his project, and not destroyed
your path in the process?
*Another episode, DS is
now choosing to stay up very late (way past us guessing 3:00 a.m. or
so) and is sleeping past noon. When we wake him for his horseback
riding lesson he is angry that he has been woken. Now dh and I are
wondering if we are doing the wrong thing allowing him to choose
when he is sleeping half the day and so cranky. *
Are there things you can do to help him wind down earlier and
make "bed-time" a WONDERFUL time of the day so that he wants to go
to bed? I think at 5 years old it is very hard for them to listen
to their bodies, I think that comes with age and experience. It
doesn't have to be a thing where you say "You have to go to bed now"
but just helping to guide him and helping him to listen to his
body. It also isn't safe for a 5 year old to be up by himself
unless there is someone up with him.
*Another episode, ds
goes to store and gets overstimulated (my fault ad choice for him)
and climbs up the metal staircase for employees and won't get down.
Then when he does runs all over the store as I try to chase him (and
catch him). *
We have all had episodes like this, it is part of having little
children. I either wait when I know my kids are going to handle it
well or I wait until my dh is home with them. When my kids were
little my husband did all the shopping on his way home from work.
Another thing you can do is have a little bag with drawing stuff,
little wind up toys, little hand puzzles and such that you save just
for errands like the store.
*Another episode, after dinner Ds wants
me to play tag (again) with he and his friend. I say (which is
consistent on my part) that after dinner mommy likes to wind down.
I like to read and be quieter and get ready for bed.*
I don't have much advice on this one except sometimes we do have to
buck up because the kids are only little once and there will be a
day when you wish you could play tag again. The other thing is to
talk, talk, talk so that he understands your need to settle down
after dinner. I have that problem later in the night. I need to
read before I fall asleep, it is my way to settle down. My kids
know that when it comes around 10:00 mom is in her room settling
down and if they need something they should probably ask before
then. We have been through it enough times that they just know
now. I usually do the 1/2 hr reminder, "okay, mom is headed to the
bedroom, anyone need anything before I settle down?" Of course,
they know if there is something important, that they can't handle on
their own, I will be there.
Remember too that it takes time for kids to listen to their bodies
and to recognize what they need and how to go about getting it when
they have been told what to do and how to do it before. They learn
a lot from our model too. I have other thoughts but at this time I
can't find the words for them so let me dwell on them for a while.
Hang in there!!!!! The other thing that helped me A LOT is to read,
read, read!!! Anything that had to do with unschooling or gentle
parenting, I read!! My favorite when we first started transitioning
to radical unschooling was Living Joyfully With Children. I am
beyond it now but at the time it really helped with transitioning,
especially with my thinking. I recommended that to someone else so
forgive me if that was you and I am repeating myself.
Heidi
Children aren't coloring books. You can't fill them with your
favorite colors. From The Kite Runner
advice! I will give it my best shot though. I do think that moving
into the radical part of unschooling needs to be done slowly and
with much thought, kind of slithering into it at a natural pace.
For our family it was a slow process simply because I didn't "get"
it all at once, it just seemed to happen naturally, for the most
part. I think kids do better when they know what to expect and when
you just do 180 degree shift they don't know what is going on. I
like to think of myself as someone who helps guide my children into
the things that feel right for them, and helping them to know what
their bodies are telling them and how to listen to that. I also
like to think as a team, in that we have to work together so that
everyone is happy and joyful; sometimes that means not always
getting exactly what you want, but enough of what you wanted that
your joy is not taken. Does that make sense? Letting your children
do whatever they want, at the expense of others emotional well-being
is not healthy.
*Ds (5) digss up all the shale from the back path to make a volcano.
DH and I both have strong feelings but work it through had allow him
to proceed without dumping any further judgment on him.*
Could you have found other materials for him that would have pleased
him just as much, allowed him to do his project, and not destroyed
your path in the process?
*Another episode, DS is
now choosing to stay up very late (way past us guessing 3:00 a.m. or
so) and is sleeping past noon. When we wake him for his horseback
riding lesson he is angry that he has been woken. Now dh and I are
wondering if we are doing the wrong thing allowing him to choose
when he is sleeping half the day and so cranky. *
Are there things you can do to help him wind down earlier and
make "bed-time" a WONDERFUL time of the day so that he wants to go
to bed? I think at 5 years old it is very hard for them to listen
to their bodies, I think that comes with age and experience. It
doesn't have to be a thing where you say "You have to go to bed now"
but just helping to guide him and helping him to listen to his
body. It also isn't safe for a 5 year old to be up by himself
unless there is someone up with him.
*Another episode, ds
goes to store and gets overstimulated (my fault ad choice for him)
and climbs up the metal staircase for employees and won't get down.
Then when he does runs all over the store as I try to chase him (and
catch him). *
We have all had episodes like this, it is part of having little
children. I either wait when I know my kids are going to handle it
well or I wait until my dh is home with them. When my kids were
little my husband did all the shopping on his way home from work.
Another thing you can do is have a little bag with drawing stuff,
little wind up toys, little hand puzzles and such that you save just
for errands like the store.
*Another episode, after dinner Ds wants
me to play tag (again) with he and his friend. I say (which is
consistent on my part) that after dinner mommy likes to wind down.
I like to read and be quieter and get ready for bed.*
I don't have much advice on this one except sometimes we do have to
buck up because the kids are only little once and there will be a
day when you wish you could play tag again. The other thing is to
talk, talk, talk so that he understands your need to settle down
after dinner. I have that problem later in the night. I need to
read before I fall asleep, it is my way to settle down. My kids
know that when it comes around 10:00 mom is in her room settling
down and if they need something they should probably ask before
then. We have been through it enough times that they just know
now. I usually do the 1/2 hr reminder, "okay, mom is headed to the
bedroom, anyone need anything before I settle down?" Of course,
they know if there is something important, that they can't handle on
their own, I will be there.
Remember too that it takes time for kids to listen to their bodies
and to recognize what they need and how to go about getting it when
they have been told what to do and how to do it before. They learn
a lot from our model too. I have other thoughts but at this time I
can't find the words for them so let me dwell on them for a while.
Hang in there!!!!! The other thing that helped me A LOT is to read,
read, read!!! Anything that had to do with unschooling or gentle
parenting, I read!! My favorite when we first started transitioning
to radical unschooling was Living Joyfully With Children. I am
beyond it now but at the time it really helped with transitioning,
especially with my thinking. I recommended that to someone else so
forgive me if that was you and I am repeating myself.
Heidi
Children aren't coloring books. You can't fill them with your
favorite colors. From The Kite Runner
[email protected]
In a message dated 10/28/2005 9:46:49 PM Eastern Standard Time,
fivefreebirds@... writes:
*Another episode, DS is
now choosing to stay up very late (way past us guessing 3:00 a.m. or
so) and is sleeping past noon. When we wake him for his horseback
riding lesson he is angry that he has been woken. Now dh and I are
wondering if we are doing the wrong thing allowing him to choose
when he is sleeping half the day and so cranky. *
Are there things you can do to help him wind down earlier and
make "bed-time" a WONDERFUL time of the day so that he wants to go
to bed? I think at 5 years old it is very hard for them to listen
to their bodies, I think that comes with age and experience. It
doesn't have to be a thing where you say "You have to go to bed now"
but just helping to guide him and helping him to listen to his
body. It also isn't safe for a 5 year old to be up by himself
unless there is someone up with him.
~~~~~~~~~~
Something we do at our house, which has worked well for everyone, is, we
have a routine where my middle child gets ready for bed at 7:30, and we go in
and sing her a song (both older kids still request "Hush Little Baby" :)), and
then she is allowed some books, toys, something of HER choosing, and she can
quietly do that in bed. She still needs to fall asleep with her light on, so
she will quietly amuse herself until she falls asleep. She's usually out by 9.
Our son, same deal. He gets ready for bed at 8, we sing and then he picks
some books, toys or whatever to play with quietly. He usually engrosses himself
in LeapPad or something else like that. And he calls us when he's done and
wants his light out. He's usually done by 10.
The kids are happy and DH and I are happy because we still get time to
ourselves to do as we please too. We've never had a complaint about going to bed
in the house.
Jenny
Homeschooling in Greenfield, MA
Danny (12-1-99), Kelsey (11-1-01) and Evelyn (5-19-04)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Education is not filling a pail but the lighting of a fire. ~William Butler
Yeats
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
fivefreebirds@... writes:
*Another episode, DS is
now choosing to stay up very late (way past us guessing 3:00 a.m. or
so) and is sleeping past noon. When we wake him for his horseback
riding lesson he is angry that he has been woken. Now dh and I are
wondering if we are doing the wrong thing allowing him to choose
when he is sleeping half the day and so cranky. *
Are there things you can do to help him wind down earlier and
make "bed-time" a WONDERFUL time of the day so that he wants to go
to bed? I think at 5 years old it is very hard for them to listen
to their bodies, I think that comes with age and experience. It
doesn't have to be a thing where you say "You have to go to bed now"
but just helping to guide him and helping him to listen to his
body. It also isn't safe for a 5 year old to be up by himself
unless there is someone up with him.
~~~~~~~~~~
Something we do at our house, which has worked well for everyone, is, we
have a routine where my middle child gets ready for bed at 7:30, and we go in
and sing her a song (both older kids still request "Hush Little Baby" :)), and
then she is allowed some books, toys, something of HER choosing, and she can
quietly do that in bed. She still needs to fall asleep with her light on, so
she will quietly amuse herself until she falls asleep. She's usually out by 9.
Our son, same deal. He gets ready for bed at 8, we sing and then he picks
some books, toys or whatever to play with quietly. He usually engrosses himself
in LeapPad or something else like that. And he calls us when he's done and
wants his light out. He's usually done by 10.
The kids are happy and DH and I are happy because we still get time to
ourselves to do as we please too. We've never had a complaint about going to bed
in the house.
Jenny
Homeschooling in Greenfield, MA
Danny (12-1-99), Kelsey (11-1-01) and Evelyn (5-19-04)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Education is not filling a pail but the lighting of a fire. ~William Butler
Yeats
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
[email protected]
<<Is there something you can do to help him wind down...>>
One thing that is very helpful here is a foot massage. The kids ask me every night. I ask them to take a bath so their feet are clean and to meet me on the couch. We watch tv while I massage their feet. Normally, the kids are asleep before I finish and I just carry them to bed.
Julie S.
One thing that is very helpful here is a foot massage. The kids ask me every night. I ask them to take a bath so their feet are clean and to meet me on the couch. We watch tv while I massage their feet. Normally, the kids are asleep before I finish and I just carry them to bed.
Julie S.
----- Original Message -----
From: Saulithyia@...
Date: Sunday, October 30, 2005 12:52 pm
Subject: Re: [unschoolingbasics] detoxing
>
> In a message dated 10/28/2005 9:46:49 PM Eastern Standard Time,
> fivefreebirds@... writes:
>
> *Another episode, DS is
> now choosing to stay up very late (way past us guessing 3:00 a.m. or
> so) and is sleeping past noon. When we wake him for his horseback
> riding lesson he is angry that he has been woken. Now dh and I are
> wondering if we are doing the wrong thing allowing him to choose
> when he is sleeping half the day and so cranky. *
>
> Are there things you can do to help him wind down earlier and
> make "bed-time" a WONDERFUL time of the day so that he wants to
> go
> to bed? I think at 5 years old it is very hard for them to
> listen
> to their bodies, I think that comes with age and experience. It
> doesn't have to be a thing where you say "You have to go to bed
> now"
> but just helping to guide him and helping him to listen to his
> body. It also isn't safe for a 5 year old to be up by himself
> unless there is someone up with him.
>
>
>
> ~~~~~~~~~~
> Something we do at our house, which has worked well for everyone,
> is, we
> have a routine where my middle child gets ready for bed at 7:30,
> and we go in
> and sing her a song (both older kids still request "Hush Little
> Baby" :)), and
> then she is allowed some books, toys, something of HER choosing,
> and she can
> quietly do that in bed. She still needs to fall asleep with her
> light on, so
> she will quietly amuse herself until she falls asleep. She's
> usually out by 9.
> Our son, same deal. He gets ready for bed at 8, we sing and then
> he picks
> some books, toys or whatever to play with quietly. He usually
> engrosses himself
> in LeapPad or something else like that. And he calls us when he's
> done and
> wants his light out. He's usually done by 10.
> The kids are happy and DH and I are happy because we still get
> time to
> ourselves to do as we please too. We've never had a complaint
> about going to bed
> in the house.
>
> Jenny
> Homeschooling in Greenfield, MA
> Danny (12-1-99), Kelsey (11-1-01) and Evelyn (5-19-04)
> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> Education is not filling a pail but the lighting of a fire.
> ~William Butler
> Yeats
>
>
>
> [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>
>
>
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