rajahzaza26

Hi Everyone!

My name is Rachael. I'm a 27yr single mama with three beautiful
boys:) ages 9,7,16ms. My 9yr has been having troubles with school
since home tutored pre-k(very brief...basically K was first year).
This is his 4th year with a full-time aide for his "behavioral"
issues. He is very smart and gets good grades although I'm told he
appears to not be paying attention in class and doesn't do his hw.
The dr's say he has symptoms of ADHD/ODD/possible bipolar. Recently
he has been not wanting to go to school saying its boring and even
said a month ago he wanted to be HS'ed(which we;ve never spoke
about). So I've been reasearching it and so far alot of the info has
made sense to me. But I'm nervous..so I'd like to know as much as
possible about unschooling. Anyone know the laws for NJ? How
about "deschooling"? What did you tell relatives? Any really good
articles I could read or give to relatives to read? Your experiences
too...how did you decide (for those of you who started with PS and
then went to unschooling)?
Thanx so much!
I look forward to your replies :)

Rachael~

Robyn Coburn

<<<<<My name is Rachael. I'm a 27yr single mama with three beautiful
boys:) ages 9,7,16ms. My 9yr has been having troubles with school
since home tutored pre-k(very brief...basically K was first year).
This is his 4th year with a full-time aide for his "behavioral"
issues. He is very smart and gets good grades although I'm told he
appears to not be paying attention in class and doesn't do his hw.
The dr's say he has symptoms of ADHD/ODD/possible bipolar. Recently
he has been not wanting to go to school saying its boring and even
said a month ago he wanted to be HS'ed(which we;ve never spoke
about). So I've been reasearching it and so far alot of the info has
made sense to me. But I'm nervous..so I'd like to know as much as
possible about unschooling. Anyone know the laws for NJ? How
about "deschooling"? What did you tell relatives? Any really good
articles I could read or give to relatives to read? Your experiences
too...how did you decide (for those of you who started with PS and
then went to unschooling)? >>>>>


Many of us have come to the belief that many diagnoses of ADHD/ODD are
actually caused by being in school. Most of us would say that even if those
illnesses are real (ie present in other environments than just school)
Unschooling will help those children be their best true selves and have the
most happiness in their lives.

Further reading about Unschooling and how it works:

The archives here.

www.sandradodd.com/unschooling and follow links to other people's pages,
especially Joyce Fetteroll's and Anne Ohman's articles.

www.unschooling.info Message boards

Another good list for children with learning differences:

http://groups.yahoo.com/group/shinewithunschooling run by Anne Ohman

Probably the simplest place to find NJ legal information and State/local
groups (who will know all the fine points) is:

www.nhen.org Click on the Legal Info tab.

Briefly, Unschooling is more than merely an alternative educational choice.
At its finest it is a family centered complete lifestyle, full of joy.

Robyn L. Coburn


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jlh44music

>>My 9yr has been having troubles with school since home tutored pre-k
(very brief...basically K was first year). This is his 4th year with
a full-time aide for his "behavioral" issues. He is very smart and
gets good grades although I'm told he appears to not be paying
attention in class and doesn't do his hw. The dr's say he has
symptoms of ADHD/ODD/possible bipolar.>>>>>>

Welcome! My dd is 13, just finished 6th grade, and this our first
year unschooling. Right now she's deschooling, not doing ANYTHING
schoolish, healing. She was "diagnosed" with ADHD (which I was
never comfortable with, I only went with it hoping to get her some
help in school, we never medicated, but I also continued to research
and read), I agree with what Robyn wrote below, about many of
the "disabilites" being caused by being in school. My dd is very
capable and intelligent, but it didn't "show" in her grades (which I
never worried about - I researched homeschooling for over 2 years,
and found unschooling in the process). She, too was bored in
school, so I can understand what your son is saying. I also believe
it's my daughter's learning style that doesn't "fit" with the way
they teach in school, which is mostly sequential. She's a
visual/spatial learner, a "picture thinker". She can't learn words
phonetically, but once she sees it or makes a picture of it in her
mind, it's permanent. It can look a lot like ADHD (I can tell you
more if you're interested, you can email me off list, since I have a
child who was diagnosed with ADHD and we're a family who pulled a
child from school and are now unschooling).

>>>Your experiences too...how did you decide (for those of you who
started with PS and then went to unschooling)? >>>>>
(see above!)

Robyn wrote:
> Many of us have come to the belief that many diagnoses of ADHD/ODD
are actually caused by being in school. Most of us would say that
even if those illnesses are real (ie present in other environments
than just school) Unschooling will help those children be their best
true selves and have the most happiness in their lives.
> Further reading about Unschooling and how it works:
> The archives here.
> www.sandradodd.com/unschooling and follow links to other people's
pages, especially Joyce Fetteroll's and Anne Ohman's articles.
> www.unschooling.info Message boards

Jann: There are lots of great books as well (mine are still in
boxes, we moved a while back, I've started writing them down and will
check that out!)

> Another good list for children with learning differences:
> http://groups.yahoo.com/group/shinewithunschooling run by Anne Ohman

Jann: I belong to this group as well, I've learned that my daughter
is Highly Sensitive from discussons on this group, it filled in
another piece of the "puzzle". I highly recommend this one.

Jann

Billy & Joanne

>>>>>>>From: "rajahzaza26" Subject: Intro: considering Unschooling..
How about "deschooling"? What did you tell relatives? Any really good articles I could read or give to relatives to read? Your experiences too...how did you decide (for those of you who started with PS and then went to unschooling)?>>>

Hello Rachael!

About deschooling...I sometimes think that we parents need it more than the kids. LOL For me and my kids, deschooling is a process where we start to trust our intincts again.
About telling relatives....if you think they won't understand..be brief and don't even mention unschooling. Just smile and say you're homeschooling for now.
As far as reading...this place will keep you busy for a while! LOL Go back to the beginning and read all the threads. They're quite informative. :-)

As for my story....we decided to take our three out of school after we adopted them just to be able to spend more time with them. I kinda fell into unschooling because the alternatives were to stressful and life was stressful enough after adopting three kids. LOL

Stick around, read and ask questions. You'll love it here!








________________________________________________________________________



~ Joanne ~
Mom to Jacqueline (7), Shawna (10) & Cimion (12)
Adopted October 30, 2003



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Anne Schuchman

Hi Rachael,

We just started hs'ing this yr and I just joined this
list a few days ago so I probably can't give you a lot
of advice (sorry I haven't posted an intro myself!).
But I can tell you that NJ is a great state to
unschool in. You don't have to notify them at all, but
I sent a letter to our local superintendent of schools
notifying her that my son would be withdrawing to
homeschool (it's the same procedure as if you were
withdrawing a child to go to a private or parochial
school). I wanted it to be official since he had spent
a year in the p.s. system. We've been unschooling so
I'm greatly relieved not to have to worry about
curriculum requirements, texts, portfolios and all
that other stuff people from other states (like NY and
PA) have to. In NJ a child can be removed from the
p.s. as long as a comparable education is obtained
elsewhere (where doesn't matter).

So far we've had good days and bad days. I have a
newborn, which makes things much more difficult. The
beauty of it though is that my son really teaches
himself, which is the way most learning takes place
(all learning, maybe). Still, I have to admit that
unschooling is a lot more work than I would have
thought (you have to be alert to learning
opportunities), and like I said, with a newborn (and a
3yo and a part-time job as well!) I have my hands
full. We will evaluate how things are going in a few
months, but so far it seems to be working.

Good luck with your decision!
Anne

--- rajahzaza26 <cierrajada@...> wrote:

> Hi Everyone!
>
> My name is Rachael. I'm a 27yr single mama with
> three beautiful
> boys:) ages 9,7,16ms. My 9yr has been having
> troubles with school
> since home tutored pre-k(very brief...basically K
> was first year).
> This is his 4th year with a full-time aide for his
> "behavioral"
> issues. He is very smart and gets good grades
> although I'm told he
> appears to not be paying attention in class and
> doesn't do his hw.
> The dr's say he has symptoms of ADHD/ODD/possible
> bipolar. Recently
> he has been not wanting to go to school saying its
> boring and even
> said a month ago he wanted to be HS'ed(which we;ve
> never spoke
> about). So I've been reasearching it and so far alot
> of the info has
> made sense to me. But I'm nervous..so I'd like to
> know as much as
> possible about unschooling. Anyone know the laws for
> NJ? How
> about "deschooling"? What did you tell relatives?
> Any really good
> articles I could read or give to relatives to read?
> Your experiences
> too...how did you decide (for those of you who
> started with PS and
> then went to unschooling)?
> Thanx so much!
> I look forward to your replies :)
>
> Rachael~
>
>
>
>
>
>




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Robyn Coburn

<<<< Still, I have to admit that
unschooling is a lot more work than I would have
thought (you have to be alert to learning
opportunities) >>>>

I read this and I immediately thought "NO you don't!" which then caused me
to pause and think through a little what I would mean by that.

You don't have to *be alert* for learning opportunities because everything
is a learning opportunity. It sounds a little too close to the idea of
"teachable moments".

If this idea is part of your paradigm, then it could be that you are still
envisioning learning as being in more or less of an academic/educational
mode, similar to school but more relaxed maybe. You might still be looking
at life as being divided into subjects but with more connections between the
subjects than school generally allows to exist.

It would seem that you may still be categorizing some moments or activities
as "not learning", which is an idea that would be a barrier to Unschooling.

All that means is that in time you will come to relax more, and trust that
learning is happening constantly even if most of it is invisible, that the
apparent moments of "doing nothing" are just as important to the child's
internal processes as those moments when she is asking questions about how
the world works.

What you have to be alert to are your child's interests and
things/places/people/ideas that you suspect would be interesting to your
child so that you can strew them.

Robyn L. Coburn

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[email protected]

Hi Anne!

Its rough to have a newborn period LOL.. I feel for you there. I was looking
at some e-mails and it looks like I was looking into HS"ing about a year ago
when my littlest was an infant. I barely remember doing that.LOL Anyway that
was part of my concern having a baby and another son with Autism and not
having alot of patience. But I'm going to do itI figure I have to try and he's
asking for it. Now I just have to decide what day...since Jio has stayed home
yesterday for being sick (not that sick esp. today...didn't want to go) and
today plus didn't go Monday (it was half a day and I didn't see the point
since my other son was off school) the principal has called and wants to see us
tomorrow morning at 8am to discuss all his absents this year and probably his
lack of doing scholl work/hw. He didn't even say "hope Jio feels better" and
"if he feeling better come in tomorrow". I'm so through with the PS system!
I've been reading alot of the articles recomended here and find them to be
very interesting and helpful and more encouraging about my feeling to unschool.
I've read that my state is pretty easy about HS'ing. Which is good.

Keep in touch I'd love to hear how your doing with your unschooling:)

Rachael~


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[email protected]

Jann,

Thanx for your reply:) Your daughter does seem alot like mine:) I read the
article from Kathy Ward "Unschooling with ADD" and totally agree with it. It
was amazing. I have decided to unschool (deschool first) and was wondering what
do you say when people (more so relatives) ask what your doing? And also
when my son is asked and he says,"I play video games and ride my bike, etc..." I
have DYFS (CPS) coming to meet with me tommorrow because of my other son
(who is autistic) who has been running off(out of the house and then downtown)
for the last month or two. I know HS'ing is legal ,but what about
de-schooling/unschooling? a little nervous...should I post these questions/concerns
seperate?

Thanx for sharing your experience.....

Rachael~


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[email protected]

Thanx Robyn!
The links were very helpful!
I've decided I want to Unschool:)
I look forward to everyones experiences and knowledge to help us along:)
I got so many replies- what a helpful group

Rachael~


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[email protected]

In a message dated 10/13/2005 3:56:33 P.M. Eastern Daylight Time,
cierrajada@... writes:

I have decided to unschool (deschool first) and was wondering what
do you say when people (more so relatives) ask what your doing?


*************

I've been coming up with a pat answer that goes something like this. It
sounds very schoolish because everyone I deal with can only speak in schoolish
language.

"The great thing about not being in school is not having to do things the
way school does. Those poor teachers have to teach 30 kids at a time! We are
so lucky to individualize our daily curriculum and tailor the children's
individual educational needs and goals!"

If they need more, you can say there are so many homeschool ideas on the
internet that you don't need a curriculum. You can use those hundreds of
dollars for materials and field trips.

Usually by that time, they think I'm totally busy and sitting up all night
planning our next day's work, they don't continue the conversation. Usually
most people start telling me why they don't homeschool and I just say things
like "yes, I can see that would be hard to do."

No one has ever seen me "homeschool" but most people think we are sitting
around the table doing worksheets. I never talk about unschooling unless I can
tell someone gets it.

As for the "official" coming to your house, is this a one-time thing or
something regular? If it is a one-time thing, I would worry at all. If asked,
you can say you are taking some time to transition to homeschooling.

Leslie in SC


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[email protected]

Rachael, I want to second the Shine with unschooling list. My son would not
have made it in school. He still has some issues that affect his day to day
life, but at home, he is never "behind", or "not paying attention" or
"wasting his time."

He is just himself. Sometimes he needs help getting along with his sister,
or help with a frustrating task he has set for himself, but he isn't compared
to anyone so he has no additional burden of shame. No one cares if he can
read or do math, we care so deeply about HIM and HIS interests and watch as he
learns and grows and discovers that with a little practice, he can tie his
shoes.

Anne Ohman, the listowner for Shine, says that unschooling saves these kids'
lives. I know it has made our family life joyful. I cringe when I think of
IEP meetings and dragging the kids out of bed and always living up to
someone else's expectations. Blech!!

I know that had we been in the school system, my child would be beaten down,
forever feeling disappointed in himself and frustratated that he doesn't
understand what everyone else accepts so easily. With unschooling, he is proud
to be himself, loves to try new things and can't wait to tell us his
discoveries and accomplishments.

I hope you enjoy being here, this is a great list, too.

Leslie in SC


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[email protected]

In a message dated 10/13/2005 5:54:22 PM Eastern Daylight Time,
Leslie530@... writes:

As for the "official" coming to your house, is this a one-time thing or
something regular? If it is a one-time thing, I would worry at all. If
asked,
you can say you are taking some time to transition to homeschooling.


Hi Leslie!

Well I'm assuming it's going to be a one-time thing. She said by what the
police said that I'm doing everything I can, but she just has to come see for
herself. She also said she didn't need to see the kids at this point.
Something like coming over to give me some ideas? (keeping my autistic son from
running out of the house).

Rachael~


[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

[email protected]

In a message dated 10/13/2005 6:21:40 PM Eastern Daylight Time,
Leslie530@... writes:

Rachael, I want to second the Shine with unschooling list


I will check that list out...thanx:)

Rachael~


[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

jlh44music

> I have decided to unschool (deschool first) and was wondering what
> do you say when people (more so relatives) ask what your doing?
> *************
Hi Rachael,
I like what Leslie wrote below (Hi Leslie in SC! Nice to see you
here too as well as on Shine!)

> "The great thing about not being in school is not having to do
things the way school does. Those poor teachers have to teach 30
kids at a time! We are so lucky to individualize our daily
curriculum and tailor the children's individual educational needs and
goals!"......>

I've been trying to come up with something short and sweet, I think
I'll plagerize, if OK!

Plus my dd has been asked when she's online playing WOW during the
day "you're homeschooling? What do you do?" and she says she
doesn't know what to say. I told her to just say you've already
done your work for the day.

Anyone got any other suggestion?
Jann