The Millers

Here we go...."my husbands and my cup of tea".

We used to have the PS2 rule (I know...rule...but that was before this new
adventure) that our daughter could only (I know...only) play the PS2 for one
whole weekend per month. We felt she would always go nutty with it and just
sit all day long. I feel so rediculous putting this down... I sound like an
idiot. haha Did we really do that...PS2 rule? In fact, she did go nutty
and sat all day and night. Well, obviously...we set it up so that she would
have to be completely compulusive about it for the 3 days because we would
then snatch it out from under her. Gosh, I would do the same thing.

Sooo, now to the present. In the realization of our big mistake, we threw
the Rule out the door. Yes, we've read and continue to read probably
everything on-line regarding the benefits of video games. And we are seeing
those benefits. So, being what we considered prepared...we went on the
journey with her. We play it with her or just hang out and watch with her.
Yes, for almost 4 weeks (I am not exagerating) she has sat and played the
games from about 7:30 in the morning till 10:00 or so at night when she
chooses to go to sleep. Now, most of the days we do go out
somewhere...fieldtrip, etc. So some of the time, I would say about 4 hours
or so, is taken up with one of her activities.

Okay, I'm rambling...will get to the point. We are keeping our mouths shut
and letting this whole thing play itself.....but, even though we are
prepared, we are both having problems (yes, I know it's our problem) with
her just sitting and sitting. She used to go on the trampoline for hours,
just hang out outside, etc. The whole non-exercise thing freaks us out. We
know that she will eventually move on...or not. But, we need some words of
wisdom and strength to continue to let this ride on its own and to keep our
mouth shut and honestly to just be okay with it. I know we'll get there,
but just need some lovin advise and strength right now.

Thanks so much.
Crystal, David and Sorscha
(Guess I shouldn't put Sorscha...it's not her problem...haha)

[email protected]

In a message dated 9/20/2005 1:35:05 PM Eastern Daylight Time,
willowsfortress@... writes:

But, we need some words of
wisdom and strength to continue to let this ride on its own and to keep our
mouth shut and honestly to just be okay with it. I know we'll get there,
but just need some lovin advise and strength right now.




lol... I don't know... we have "game time" that is roughly an hour and a
half a day. But it's flexible. Like today, it's dark, dreary and pouring out and
I've been out of commission with back problems, so they can play longer. They
usually tire of it though and move on.

Jenny
Mom to Danny, Kelsey and Evelyn
Happily homeschooling in Greenfield
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Learning is a treasure that will follow its owner everywhere. ~Chinese
Proverb



[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

jlh44music

> We used to have the PS2 rule (I know...rule...but that was before
this new adventure) that our daughter could only (I know...only) play
the PS2 for one whole weekend per month.....>>>

I'm so glad you've thrown that rule out the window!

>> Yes, we've read and continue to read probably everything on-line
regarding the benefits of video games. And we are seeing those
benefits. So, being what we considered prepared...we went on the
journey with her. We play it with her or just hang out and watch
with her. Yes, for almost 4 weeks (I am not exagerating) she has sat
and played the games from about 7:30 in the morning till 10:00 or so
at night when she chooses to go to sleep. Now, most of the days we
do go out somewhere...fieldtrip, etc. So some of the time, I would
say about 4 hours or so, is taken up with one of her activities.>>

I think you're doing great as far as stretching yourselves and your
previous concepts of gaming etc. My dd finished 6th grade in June,
shortly thereafter discovered World of Warcraft (computer game with
online play, real time, previously she was playing Runecape, kinda
the same but likes WOW better). We got her the game around the end
of June and she has done the SAME thing as your dd, (she sleeps 'til
noon (give or take, "until I'm done sleeping" as she puts it!)), then
is on the game from the moment she gets up until she goes to bed at
night (except for food, bathroom etc...lol!). I've "let" her
(because I too had the problem with it) do this all summer (and it's
part of our deschooling process, I see healing, it's really working -
she says sometimes things like "I can't believe you're letting me do
this so much" or "thanks for getting me this game" etc etc). I do
the same thing as you sometimes, sit with her as she plays, asking
questions, or she'll come to me and say "I want to show you something
I found on WOW" etc. I'm amazed at what she has accomplished in the
game (the levels she's attained etc etc) and the things she can tell
me about it. I "worried" that she was NEVER going to want to do
anything else, but kept it to myself, posted here, emailed unschooler
friends, etc, ANYTHING but interfere with her absorption (and that's
in the GOOD sense of the word!), TRUSTING that she will evolve on her
own, in her own time, to other things etc etc. Just this past week
(so let's see, it's been almost 3 months she's been playing, except
for a couple of camping trips with no access to it) she's started to
branch off, take a break from it here and there. She's still very
into the game, but she's not DONE with it, not that I mean she'll be
DONE in the sense that she'll have had her fill and never play again,
if that makes sense, and maybe DONE is the wrong word (I'll have to
think on what I mean to say about that for a while!).

I'm not working for the FIRST time ever (and had foot surgery in
June) so I planned all this to also be able to have time for recovery
from the surgery and to do some "deworking" (!) myself (harder than I
thought!). We talk about her not being in school, what she thinks
it will be like, etc etc, she's sometimes said "I wonder when I'll
want to do something different" and I've said "You'll just know" -
she's still got a lot of programming in her thought process because
of school that will take time to erase (and it will vary from child
to child). I also told her that come fall, and when the local
homeschooling group starts doing things, I want to go meet some of
the people I've only emailed or talked to on the phone, maybe go to
an event they plan that appeals to us or her, do some things (now
that my foot is better, I was unable to walk a lot before from an
injury) during the beautiful New England fall weather (our favorite
season!) and she agreed. So we do get out for a few hours here and
there, volunteering right now a few times to help someone who's
fostering cats and kittens for local shelters in socializing them, so
they get used to many different people and will be more adoptable
(most were ferral moms with kittens etc). And we're meeting more
and more UNSCHOOLERS, at first it seemed like there weren't any
nearby but that's changing (we're the only ones in our town that I
know of).

It's hard to trust the process, but she will move on. I haven't seen
much of it YET (except for the little moments I wrote above) but I
TRUST that it will happen as she recovers from being told what to do
when because of school, when she knows that I won't MAKE her
do "schooly" stuff, as I continue to treat her with respect, listen
to her opinions, discuss issues with her, really try to see her point
of view and not just tell her how I think she SHOULD feel, or how she
should handle something that comes up with a friend etc (oh yeah, she
does talk on the phone with friends sometimes too!) etc etc.
Children learn to be respectful (and therefore, sometimes, more
willing to do something along with you that YOU are interested in
that involves leaving the house) when you treat them with respect.

You're doing great. Keep reading! I need my daily maintenance
dose! (it's less "painful" now, the sides of the "box" have holes in
them, so it's easier to get outside of it!)
Jann




Sorscha
> (Guess I shouldn't put Sorscha...it's not her problem...haha)

jlh44music

> Sorscha
> (Guess I shouldn't put Sorscha...it's not her problem...haha)>>>

Forgot ask who Sorscha is (does she have fur?!). We have a Zoe (long
hair black cat who thinks she's a dog!
Jann (hoping Sorscha is not one of your children and I've offended
you!)

[email protected]

Relax. When my oldest (now 14) was given free reign over the tv, she literally watched tv for 4 months, all day, every day. She did stop to eat and would eventually go to bed. It was painful to watch.

Now 2 years later, she will occassionally rent a movie or watch while I give her a foot massage, but never more than an hour or 2.

We have 5 tv's, 2 dvd players, a computer, a PS2. One kid is out of the house and the other 4 are outside playing.....having figured out that Ziploc bags can be used as whoopie cushions <sigh,grin>.

Julie S.


[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Brandie

If you truly continue to trust her, it will all work
out. You already showed in your post that she played
her PS2 literally all day at first and now that has
decreased. Chances are, it will further decrease,
BUT, please don't hold your breathe for that day. Her
PS2 may be her main activity for a long time to come.


Continue to enjoy each day with her -- take an
interest in what she plays, play with her. Keep her
environment rich and interesting...always have lots of
different things available to her. You could also
suggest other, more active activities on occasion:
hiking, swimming, jumping on the trampoline,
rollerblading/skating, bike riding, etc. But when
suggesting, don't look at it as a way to get her away
from the PS2, but rather just another activity you
think she might enjoy.

And VERY GOOD on getting rid of your "one weekend a
month" PS2 rule!



--- The Millers <willowsfortress@...> wrote:

> Here we go...."my husbands and my cup of tea".
>
> We used to have the PS2 rule (I know...rule...but
> that was before this new
> adventure) that our daughter could only (I
> know...only) play the PS2 for one
> whole weekend per month. We felt she would always
> go nutty with it and just
> sit all day long. I feel so rediculous putting this
> down... I sound like an
> idiot. haha Did we really do that...PS2 rule? In
> fact, she did go nutty
> and sat all day and night. Well, obviously...we set
> it up so that she would
> have to be completely compulusive about it for the 3
> days because we would
> then snatch it out from under her. Gosh, I would do
> the same thing.
>
> Sooo, now to the present. In the realization of our
> big mistake, we threw
> the Rule out the door. Yes, we've read and continue
> to read probably
> everything on-line regarding the benefits of video
> games. And we are seeing
> those benefits. So, being what we considered
> prepared...we went on the
> journey with her. We play it with her or just hang
> out and watch with her.
> Yes, for almost 4 weeks (I am not exagerating) she
> has sat and played the
> games from about 7:30 in the morning till 10:00 or
> so at night when she
> chooses to go to sleep. Now, most of the days we do
> go out
> somewhere...fieldtrip, etc. So some of the time, I
> would say about 4 hours
> or so, is taken up with one of her activities.
>
> Okay, I'm rambling...will get to the point. We are
> keeping our mouths shut
> and letting this whole thing play itself.....but,
> even though we are
> prepared, we are both having problems (yes, I know
> it's our problem) with
> her just sitting and sitting. She used to go on the
> trampoline for hours,
> just hang out outside, etc. The whole non-exercise
> thing freaks us out. We
> know that she will eventually move on...or not.
> But, we need some words of
> wisdom and strength to continue to let this ride on
> its own and to keep our
> mouth shut and honestly to just be okay with it. I
> know we'll get there,
> but just need some lovin advise and strength right
> now.
>
> Thanks so much.
> Crystal, David and Sorscha
> (Guess I shouldn't put Sorscha...it's not her
> problem...haha)
>
>


Brandie
http://tableforfive.blogspot.com
http://homemadeliving.blogspot.com




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