Re: [unschoolingbasics] the limits....oak table...etc.
[email protected]
In a message dated 6/10/2004 12:12:28 PM Eastern Daylight Time,
mommytoluc@... writes:
Origninally my post was "if it was
something that was disruptive, destructive or dangerous"....then I
was asked for examples...the examples I gave were just the kinds of
things that I thought some people might have issue with and might not
want their children to do. I was not listing things that I
specifically wanted help with...I just wanted to know what some of
you might do with something you DO have a problem with, KWIM? Surely
there are some things...I understand the concept of giving them a
world of choices and focusing on things they CAN do...lot of freedom
in my house....but surely there are some that are not OK because they
are dangerous, destructive or disruptive. I'm not going to give any
more examples because what I'm really looking for is what YOU would
do if it was something that YOU felt this way about, not just
solutions to MY examples.
<<<<<<<<<
Wendy,
We don't tend to work with hypotheticals here. Real life examples are best.
Stating a problem you're dealing with and asking how we've dealt with a
similar situation gives us a place to jump off from.
BUT----in this instance, I actually have an example I can share.
Many people would think of alcohol/marijuana use as "disruptive,
destructive, or dangerous". I have a sixteen year old son and am in the midst of this.
As a teen/young adult. I spent a lot of time drinking---and fairly
irresponsibly. But shooting up, snorting something up my nose, popping pills, or
smoking anything was *never* attractive to me. But I have a son who likes pot.
My options:
1) I could yell and scream and forbid weed in *my* house.
2) I could ignore the whole thing----pretend it's not happening.
3) I could turn him in to the cops.
4) I could support his "habit"----make it out to be peachy-keen and even buy
it for him.
5) I could probably do several other things-----but what I've chosen to do
is to tell him how I feel about it. Ask him to make wise choices about its
purchase and use. Asked him not to smoke in the house or in a car----OR anywhere
he might get caught. To please keep it away from his brother. And it IS
illegal----he could go to jail for posession.
He has friends who are "pot-heads"----who will smoke whatever they can get
their paws on, and stay high most of the time. Their parents have banned pot
and refuse to talk about it except for the command, "Don't smoke pot."
So.....Cameron smokes. Not in the house, but in the garage. He doesn't drive
when or after smoking. He doesn't allow his friends to drive after smoking
either (They'll go get their "munchies" *before* they get high.).
He's responsible with it. Buys "organic" from people he trusts. Keeps it
away from his little brother (and me! <g>).
He attends NORML meetings (although I've suggested NOT to sign anything
there! <g>) and thinks it should be legalized (in fact, he's read----and picked
apart--- the Constitution, the Bill of Rights, and several laws to find out
more about it).
He's agreeable to taxing it, if it were made legal.
He knows all about the history of hemp and marijuana and the reasons it was
banned/made illegal----big business of the 30's and 40's and the invention of
polyesters.
We've talked about it a great deal. I give him my views----and he does some
research and often opens my eyes to new thinking. I'm still not wild about it,
but I feel he's using it responsibly (ugh!)----and will not abuse it.
Do I wish he wouldn't use it at all? Uh huh. But I'd rather that he be
comfortable talking about it and using it responsibly than sneaking around and
hiding it because I'd forbidden it.
Issues like this are waaaay harder to handle than drawing on the dining room
table! <g> But if a child has always felt listened to and respected and
trusted, he's more likely to share his concerns with you----even illegal
ones!---and let you be a part of his life, even as a teen/young adult!
~Kelly
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
mommytoluc@... writes:
Origninally my post was "if it was
something that was disruptive, destructive or dangerous"....then I
was asked for examples...the examples I gave were just the kinds of
things that I thought some people might have issue with and might not
want their children to do. I was not listing things that I
specifically wanted help with...I just wanted to know what some of
you might do with something you DO have a problem with, KWIM? Surely
there are some things...I understand the concept of giving them a
world of choices and focusing on things they CAN do...lot of freedom
in my house....but surely there are some that are not OK because they
are dangerous, destructive or disruptive. I'm not going to give any
more examples because what I'm really looking for is what YOU would
do if it was something that YOU felt this way about, not just
solutions to MY examples.
<<<<<<<<<
Wendy,
We don't tend to work with hypotheticals here. Real life examples are best.
Stating a problem you're dealing with and asking how we've dealt with a
similar situation gives us a place to jump off from.
BUT----in this instance, I actually have an example I can share.
Many people would think of alcohol/marijuana use as "disruptive,
destructive, or dangerous". I have a sixteen year old son and am in the midst of this.
As a teen/young adult. I spent a lot of time drinking---and fairly
irresponsibly. But shooting up, snorting something up my nose, popping pills, or
smoking anything was *never* attractive to me. But I have a son who likes pot.
My options:
1) I could yell and scream and forbid weed in *my* house.
2) I could ignore the whole thing----pretend it's not happening.
3) I could turn him in to the cops.
4) I could support his "habit"----make it out to be peachy-keen and even buy
it for him.
5) I could probably do several other things-----but what I've chosen to do
is to tell him how I feel about it. Ask him to make wise choices about its
purchase and use. Asked him not to smoke in the house or in a car----OR anywhere
he might get caught. To please keep it away from his brother. And it IS
illegal----he could go to jail for posession.
He has friends who are "pot-heads"----who will smoke whatever they can get
their paws on, and stay high most of the time. Their parents have banned pot
and refuse to talk about it except for the command, "Don't smoke pot."
So.....Cameron smokes. Not in the house, but in the garage. He doesn't drive
when or after smoking. He doesn't allow his friends to drive after smoking
either (They'll go get their "munchies" *before* they get high.).
He's responsible with it. Buys "organic" from people he trusts. Keeps it
away from his little brother (and me! <g>).
He attends NORML meetings (although I've suggested NOT to sign anything
there! <g>) and thinks it should be legalized (in fact, he's read----and picked
apart--- the Constitution, the Bill of Rights, and several laws to find out
more about it).
He's agreeable to taxing it, if it were made legal.
He knows all about the history of hemp and marijuana and the reasons it was
banned/made illegal----big business of the 30's and 40's and the invention of
polyesters.
We've talked about it a great deal. I give him my views----and he does some
research and often opens my eyes to new thinking. I'm still not wild about it,
but I feel he's using it responsibly (ugh!)----and will not abuse it.
Do I wish he wouldn't use it at all? Uh huh. But I'd rather that he be
comfortable talking about it and using it responsibly than sneaking around and
hiding it because I'd forbidden it.
Issues like this are waaaay harder to handle than drawing on the dining room
table! <g> But if a child has always felt listened to and respected and
trusted, he's more likely to share his concerns with you----even illegal
ones!---and let you be a part of his life, even as a teen/young adult!
~Kelly
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Wendy E
Great advice....your son sounds like a great kid an you sound like a
great mom.
Wendy
great mom.
Wendy
--- In [email protected], kbcdlovejo@a... wrote:
>I have a sixteen year old son and am in the midst of this.
>
> Do I wish he wouldn't use it at all? Uh huh. But I'd rather that he
be
> comfortable talking about it and using it responsibly than sneaking
around and
> hiding it because I'd forbidden it.
>
> Issues like this are waaaay harder to handle than drawing on the
dining room
> table! <g> But if a child has always felt listened to and
respected and
> trusted, he's more likely to share his concerns with you----even
illegal
> ones!---and let you be a part of his life, even as a teen/young
adult!
>
> ~Kelly
>
>
>
>
> [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
[email protected]
In a message dated 6/11/2004 7:15:29 PM Eastern Daylight Time,
kbcdlovejo@... writes:
But if a child has always felt listened to and respected and
trusted, he's more likely to share his concerns with you----even illegal
ones!---and let you be a part of his life, even as a teen/young adult!
<<<<
Response to my own post! <g>
Because he doesn't HAVE to! Many children DON'T! I feel very lucky that we
have the kind of relationship that allows this sharing!
Just that point----he doesn't HAVE to let me be a part of his life. He
doesn't!
~Kelly
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
kbcdlovejo@... writes:
But if a child has always felt listened to and respected and
trusted, he's more likely to share his concerns with you----even illegal
ones!---and let you be a part of his life, even as a teen/young adult!
<<<<
Response to my own post! <g>
>>he's more likely to share his concerns with you----even illegalones!---and let you be a part of his life, even as a teen/young adult!<<
Because he doesn't HAVE to! Many children DON'T! I feel very lucky that we
have the kind of relationship that allows this sharing!
Just that point----he doesn't HAVE to let me be a part of his life. He
doesn't!
~Kelly
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
G&M Contracting Inc., Kenneth Gillilan
Kelly,
Are you willing to go to jail for your sons choices? In Vt if you allow
your child to do drugs on your property it's not them that suffers the
consequences it's the parents who lose their house, pay fines and serve jail
time.
I personally wish they would legalize the stuff because it is so much
less destructive than alcohol and it wouldn't be so taboo. I won't stop my
kids from smoking pot, but the other drugs that you shoot up or snort might
be tougher for me to stay neutral on.
AnnMarie
-----Original Message-----
From: kbcdlovejo@... [mailto:kbcdlovejo@...]
Sent: Friday, June 11, 2004 7:14 PM
To: [email protected]
Subject: Re: [unschoolingbasics] the limits....oak table...etc.
In a message dated 6/10/2004 12:12:28 PM Eastern Daylight Time,
mommytoluc@... writes:
Origninally my post was "if it was
something that was disruptive, destructive or dangerous"....then I
was asked for examples...the examples I gave were just the kinds of
things that I thought some people might have issue with and might not
want their children to do. I was not listing things that I
specifically wanted help with...I just wanted to know what some of
you might do with something you DO have a problem with, KWIM? Surely
there are some things...I understand the concept of giving them a
world of choices and focusing on things they CAN do...lot of freedom
in my house....but surely there are some that are not OK because they
are dangerous, destructive or disruptive. I'm not going to give any
more examples because what I'm really looking for is what YOU would
do if it was something that YOU felt this way about, not just
solutions to MY examples.
<<<<<<<<<
Wendy,
We don't tend to work with hypotheticals here. Real life examples are
best.
Stating a problem you're dealing with and asking how we've dealt with a
similar situation gives us a place to jump off from.
BUT----in this instance, I actually have an example I can share.
Many people would think of alcohol/marijuana use as "disruptive,
destructive, or dangerous". I have a sixteen year old son and am in the
midst of this.
As a teen/young adult. I spent a lot of time drinking---and fairly
irresponsibly. But shooting up, snorting something up my nose, popping
pills, or
smoking anything was *never* attractive to me. But I have a son who likes
pot.
My options:
1) I could yell and scream and forbid weed in *my* house.
2) I could ignore the whole thing----pretend it's not happening.
3) I could turn him in to the cops.
4) I could support his "habit"----make it out to be peachy-keen and even
buy
it for him.
5) I could probably do several other things-----but what I've chosen to do
is to tell him how I feel about it. Ask him to make wise choices about its
purchase and use. Asked him not to smoke in the house or in a car----OR
anywhere
he might get caught. To please keep it away from his brother. And it IS
illegal----he could go to jail for posession.
He has friends who are "pot-heads"----who will smoke whatever they can get
their paws on, and stay high most of the time. Their parents have banned
pot
and refuse to talk about it except for the command, "Don't smoke pot."
So.....Cameron smokes. Not in the house, but in the garage. He doesn't
drive
when or after smoking. He doesn't allow his friends to drive after smoking
either (They'll go get their "munchies" *before* they get high.).
He's responsible with it. Buys "organic" from people he trusts. Keeps it
away from his little brother (and me! <g>).
He attends NORML meetings (although I've suggested NOT to sign anything
there! <g>) and thinks it should be legalized (in fact, he's read----and
picked
apart--- the Constitution, the Bill of Rights, and several laws to find
out
more about it).
He's agreeable to taxing it, if it were made legal.
He knows all about the history of hemp and marijuana and the reasons it
was
banned/made illegal----big business of the 30's and 40's and the
invention of
polyesters.
We've talked about it a great deal. I give him my views----and he does
some
research and often opens my eyes to new thinking. I'm still not wild about
it,
but I feel he's using it responsibly (ugh!)----and will not abuse it.
Do I wish he wouldn't use it at all? Uh huh. But I'd rather that he be
comfortable talking about it and using it responsibly than sneaking around
and
hiding it because I'd forbidden it.
Issues like this are waaaay harder to handle than drawing on the dining
room
table! <g> But if a child has always felt listened to and respected and
trusted, he's more likely to share his concerns with you----even illegal
ones!---and let you be a part of his life, even as a teen/young adult!
~Kelly
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Yahoo! Groups Sponsor
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Yahoo! Groups Links
a.. To visit your group on the web, go to:
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b.. To unsubscribe from this group, send an email to:
[email protected]
c.. Your use of Yahoo! Groups is subject to the Yahoo! Terms of Service.
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Are you willing to go to jail for your sons choices? In Vt if you allow
your child to do drugs on your property it's not them that suffers the
consequences it's the parents who lose their house, pay fines and serve jail
time.
I personally wish they would legalize the stuff because it is so much
less destructive than alcohol and it wouldn't be so taboo. I won't stop my
kids from smoking pot, but the other drugs that you shoot up or snort might
be tougher for me to stay neutral on.
AnnMarie
-----Original Message-----
From: kbcdlovejo@... [mailto:kbcdlovejo@...]
Sent: Friday, June 11, 2004 7:14 PM
To: [email protected]
Subject: Re: [unschoolingbasics] the limits....oak table...etc.
In a message dated 6/10/2004 12:12:28 PM Eastern Daylight Time,
mommytoluc@... writes:
Origninally my post was "if it was
something that was disruptive, destructive or dangerous"....then I
was asked for examples...the examples I gave were just the kinds of
things that I thought some people might have issue with and might not
want their children to do. I was not listing things that I
specifically wanted help with...I just wanted to know what some of
you might do with something you DO have a problem with, KWIM? Surely
there are some things...I understand the concept of giving them a
world of choices and focusing on things they CAN do...lot of freedom
in my house....but surely there are some that are not OK because they
are dangerous, destructive or disruptive. I'm not going to give any
more examples because what I'm really looking for is what YOU would
do if it was something that YOU felt this way about, not just
solutions to MY examples.
<<<<<<<<<
Wendy,
We don't tend to work with hypotheticals here. Real life examples are
best.
Stating a problem you're dealing with and asking how we've dealt with a
similar situation gives us a place to jump off from.
BUT----in this instance, I actually have an example I can share.
Many people would think of alcohol/marijuana use as "disruptive,
destructive, or dangerous". I have a sixteen year old son and am in the
midst of this.
As a teen/young adult. I spent a lot of time drinking---and fairly
irresponsibly. But shooting up, snorting something up my nose, popping
pills, or
smoking anything was *never* attractive to me. But I have a son who likes
pot.
My options:
1) I could yell and scream and forbid weed in *my* house.
2) I could ignore the whole thing----pretend it's not happening.
3) I could turn him in to the cops.
4) I could support his "habit"----make it out to be peachy-keen and even
buy
it for him.
5) I could probably do several other things-----but what I've chosen to do
is to tell him how I feel about it. Ask him to make wise choices about its
purchase and use. Asked him not to smoke in the house or in a car----OR
anywhere
he might get caught. To please keep it away from his brother. And it IS
illegal----he could go to jail for posession.
He has friends who are "pot-heads"----who will smoke whatever they can get
their paws on, and stay high most of the time. Their parents have banned
pot
and refuse to talk about it except for the command, "Don't smoke pot."
So.....Cameron smokes. Not in the house, but in the garage. He doesn't
drive
when or after smoking. He doesn't allow his friends to drive after smoking
either (They'll go get their "munchies" *before* they get high.).
He's responsible with it. Buys "organic" from people he trusts. Keeps it
away from his little brother (and me! <g>).
He attends NORML meetings (although I've suggested NOT to sign anything
there! <g>) and thinks it should be legalized (in fact, he's read----and
picked
apart--- the Constitution, the Bill of Rights, and several laws to find
out
more about it).
He's agreeable to taxing it, if it were made legal.
He knows all about the history of hemp and marijuana and the reasons it
was
banned/made illegal----big business of the 30's and 40's and the
invention of
polyesters.
We've talked about it a great deal. I give him my views----and he does
some
research and often opens my eyes to new thinking. I'm still not wild about
it,
but I feel he's using it responsibly (ugh!)----and will not abuse it.
Do I wish he wouldn't use it at all? Uh huh. But I'd rather that he be
comfortable talking about it and using it responsibly than sneaking around
and
hiding it because I'd forbidden it.
Issues like this are waaaay harder to handle than drawing on the dining
room
table! <g> But if a child has always felt listened to and respected and
trusted, he's more likely to share his concerns with you----even illegal
ones!---and let you be a part of his life, even as a teen/young adult!
~Kelly
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Yahoo! Groups Sponsor
ADVERTISEMENT
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
--
Yahoo! Groups Links
a.. To visit your group on the web, go to:
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/unschoolingbasics/
b.. To unsubscribe from this group, send an email to:
[email protected]
c.. Your use of Yahoo! Groups is subject to the Yahoo! Terms of Service.
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
[email protected]
In a message dated 6/11/2004 10:59:21 PM Eastern Daylight Time,
gmcontractinginc@... writes:
Kelly,
Are you willing to go to jail for your sons choices? In Vt if you allow
your child to do drugs on your property it's not them that suffers the
consequences it's the parents who lose their house, pay fines and serve jail
time.<<<<<<<
Not in SC. Luckily. But too, I know REALLY good lawyers! <g>
kids from smoking pot, but the other drugs that you shoot up or snort might
be tougher for me to stay neutral on.<<<<<
I can't say I'm neutral on *this*. Cameron knows my views. I'm not thrilled.
But forbidding it wouldn't keep the lines of communication open---and it
wouldn't be in keeping with our relationship.
And *we* know that he could be like his friends and do it secretly---and in
more dangerous places. THAT scares me more.
He also knows that his getting arrested could very well jeopardize our
ability to unschool. We've talked about this a lot.
It's ALL scary. And marijuana doesn't scare me as much as the harder
stuff----and the alcohol I consumed as a teen----how in the world did I survive to
adulthood?!
But the point was that we *do* have these difficult----what was it?
dangerous, destructive, whatever----situations as unschoolers. And we handle them as
respectfully as we can. I'm just hoping it doesn't last long! <g> Most things
don't! <g>
~Kelly
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
gmcontractinginc@... writes:
Kelly,
Are you willing to go to jail for your sons choices? In Vt if you allow
your child to do drugs on your property it's not them that suffers the
consequences it's the parents who lose their house, pay fines and serve jail
time.<<<<<<<
Not in SC. Luckily. But too, I know REALLY good lawyers! <g>
>>>>>> I personally wish they would legalize the stuff because it is so muchless destructive than alcohol and it wouldn't be so taboo. I won't stop my
kids from smoking pot, but the other drugs that you shoot up or snort might
be tougher for me to stay neutral on.<<<<<
I can't say I'm neutral on *this*. Cameron knows my views. I'm not thrilled.
But forbidding it wouldn't keep the lines of communication open---and it
wouldn't be in keeping with our relationship.
And *we* know that he could be like his friends and do it secretly---and in
more dangerous places. THAT scares me more.
He also knows that his getting arrested could very well jeopardize our
ability to unschool. We've talked about this a lot.
It's ALL scary. And marijuana doesn't scare me as much as the harder
stuff----and the alcohol I consumed as a teen----how in the world did I survive to
adulthood?!
But the point was that we *do* have these difficult----what was it?
dangerous, destructive, whatever----situations as unschoolers. And we handle them as
respectfully as we can. I'm just hoping it doesn't last long! <g> Most things
don't! <g>
~Kelly
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
G&M Contracting Inc., Kenneth Gillilan
Kelly,
I do the same thing with my daughter and I can only hope for the best.
She knows my views on everything and all I can do is hope she stays safe.
She is 11, but it's amazing what 11 yo have to deal with these days..... I
know that she is much more open with me than her friends are with their
parents so I guess I must be doing something right.
AnnMarie
-----Original Message-----
From: kbcdlovejo@... [mailto:kbcdlovejo@...]
Sent: Friday, June 11, 2004 11:16 PM
To: [email protected]
Subject: Re: [unschoolingbasics] the limits....oak table...etc.
In a message dated 6/11/2004 10:59:21 PM Eastern Daylight Time,
gmcontractinginc@... writes:
Kelly,
Are you willing to go to jail for your sons choices? In Vt if you allow
your child to do drugs on your property it's not them that suffers the
consequences it's the parents who lose their house, pay fines and serve
jail
time.<<<<<<<
Not in SC. Luckily. But too, I know REALLY good lawyers! <g>
less destructive than alcohol and it wouldn't be so taboo. I won't stop
my
kids from smoking pot, but the other drugs that you shoot up or snort
might
be tougher for me to stay neutral on.<<<<<
I can't say I'm neutral on *this*. Cameron knows my views. I'm not
thrilled.
But forbidding it wouldn't keep the lines of communication open---and it
wouldn't be in keeping with our relationship.
And *we* know that he could be like his friends and do it secretly---and
in
more dangerous places. THAT scares me more.
He also knows that his getting arrested could very well jeopardize our
ability to unschool. We've talked about this a lot.
It's ALL scary. And marijuana doesn't scare me as much as the harder
stuff----and the alcohol I consumed as a teen----how in the world did I
survive to
adulthood?!
But the point was that we *do* have these difficult----what was it?
dangerous, destructive, whatever----situations as unschoolers. And we
handle them as
respectfully as we can. I'm just hoping it doesn't last long! <g> Most
things
don't! <g>
~Kelly
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Yahoo! Groups Sponsor
ADVERTISEMENT
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
--
Yahoo! Groups Links
a.. To visit your group on the web, go to:
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/unschoolingbasics/
b.. To unsubscribe from this group, send an email to:
[email protected]
c.. Your use of Yahoo! Groups is subject to the Yahoo! Terms of Service.
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
I do the same thing with my daughter and I can only hope for the best.
She knows my views on everything and all I can do is hope she stays safe.
She is 11, but it's amazing what 11 yo have to deal with these days..... I
know that she is much more open with me than her friends are with their
parents so I guess I must be doing something right.
AnnMarie
-----Original Message-----
From: kbcdlovejo@... [mailto:kbcdlovejo@...]
Sent: Friday, June 11, 2004 11:16 PM
To: [email protected]
Subject: Re: [unschoolingbasics] the limits....oak table...etc.
In a message dated 6/11/2004 10:59:21 PM Eastern Daylight Time,
gmcontractinginc@... writes:
Kelly,
Are you willing to go to jail for your sons choices? In Vt if you allow
your child to do drugs on your property it's not them that suffers the
consequences it's the parents who lose their house, pay fines and serve
jail
time.<<<<<<<
Not in SC. Luckily. But too, I know REALLY good lawyers! <g>
>>>>>> I personally wish they would legalize the stuff because it is somuch
less destructive than alcohol and it wouldn't be so taboo. I won't stop
my
kids from smoking pot, but the other drugs that you shoot up or snort
might
be tougher for me to stay neutral on.<<<<<
I can't say I'm neutral on *this*. Cameron knows my views. I'm not
thrilled.
But forbidding it wouldn't keep the lines of communication open---and it
wouldn't be in keeping with our relationship.
And *we* know that he could be like his friends and do it secretly---and
in
more dangerous places. THAT scares me more.
He also knows that his getting arrested could very well jeopardize our
ability to unschool. We've talked about this a lot.
It's ALL scary. And marijuana doesn't scare me as much as the harder
stuff----and the alcohol I consumed as a teen----how in the world did I
survive to
adulthood?!
But the point was that we *do* have these difficult----what was it?
dangerous, destructive, whatever----situations as unschoolers. And we
handle them as
respectfully as we can. I'm just hoping it doesn't last long! <g> Most
things
don't! <g>
~Kelly
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Yahoo! Groups Sponsor
ADVERTISEMENT
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
--
Yahoo! Groups Links
a.. To visit your group on the web, go to:
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/unschoolingbasics/
b.. To unsubscribe from this group, send an email to:
[email protected]
c.. Your use of Yahoo! Groups is subject to the Yahoo! Terms of Service.
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
[email protected]
In a message dated 6/12/2004 12:22:01 AM Eastern Daylight Time,
gmcontractinginc@... writes:
I do the same thing with my daughter and I can only hope for the best.
She knows my views on everything and all I can do is hope she stays safe.
She is 11, but it's amazing what 11 yo have to deal with these days..... I
know that she is much more open with me than her friends are with their
parents so I guess I must be doing something right.<<<<<<<<<
Right.
I'd rather have him involved with smoking a little dope and talking openly
about it than having him deny ever having tried the stuff and actually going a
step or two further (with harder stuff) and sneaking and lying.
It's a hard situation----for me, anyway. But I'm glad that we can talk---and
that I can share *my* thoughts on it, as well as hear his.
~Kelly
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gmcontractinginc@... writes:
I do the same thing with my daughter and I can only hope for the best.
She knows my views on everything and all I can do is hope she stays safe.
She is 11, but it's amazing what 11 yo have to deal with these days..... I
know that she is much more open with me than her friends are with their
parents so I guess I must be doing something right.<<<<<<<<<
Right.
I'd rather have him involved with smoking a little dope and talking openly
about it than having him deny ever having tried the stuff and actually going a
step or two further (with harder stuff) and sneaking and lying.
It's a hard situation----for me, anyway. But I'm glad that we can talk---and
that I can share *my* thoughts on it, as well as hear his.
~Kelly
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[email protected]
In a message dated 6/12/2004 8:20:01 AM US Eastern Standard Time,
kbcdlovejo@... writes:
pot,,hes 18,was 17 when he done it ,,i cant fathom at 18 telling my mom i had
smoked pot.so i guess im doing something right somewhere.its hard at times,not to
get upset when they tell me things they have done,,,but ,,they are young men
now,,,,im just thankfull they trust me enough to talk openly about things
,,,god only knows,,and im sure some other parents here can agree,,my growing up
years were not with openess with my mom..that didnt come till i was much older
and had a couple of kids of my own,,
JUne
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kbcdlovejo@... writes:
>i whole heartedly agree.one of my older two kids,just told mehe had tried
>
> I'd rather have him involved with smoking a little dope and talking openly
> about it than having him deny ever having tried the stuff and actually going
> a
> step or two further (with harder stuff) and sneaking and lying.
>
>
pot,,hes 18,was 17 when he done it ,,i cant fathom at 18 telling my mom i had
smoked pot.so i guess im doing something right somewhere.its hard at times,not to
get upset when they tell me things they have done,,,but ,,they are young men
now,,,,im just thankfull they trust me enough to talk openly about things
,,,god only knows,,and im sure some other parents here can agree,,my growing up
years were not with openess with my mom..that didnt come till i was much older
and had a couple of kids of my own,,
JUne
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Rebecca DeLong
Do I wish he wouldn't use it at all? Uh huh. But I'd rather that he be
comfortable talking about it and using it responsibly than sneaking around
and
hiding it because I'd forbidden it.
When I was bout 15 my mom found out that I was smoking pot, instead of yelling and screaming at me, we started talking about it. She shared her fears about me smoking(she also smoked it, I found out). She was afraid of me and my friends driving while stoned (we were) buying frome people we didn't know (we were) having it on us while out and smoking in public (we were). She was willing to provide me and my friends a safe environment, if we could behave responsably and not do the things that were causing her to worry and be scared.
It was great, I did what I needed to do with pot, and because of the repect my mom gave me and those "parental reprocussions" were gone. It was over with and out of my system in a much shorter period of thime than if it had been a power struggle.
Unfortunatly, my dad was not as open with me and my time living with him led me down a much darker path that took a while to recover from.
Jason and I both feel that if and when our kids decide that they are ready to try experimenting we would rather do as my mom did and provide a safe space for them. We look at it as all other "learning experiences" it's better with a safty net; of love, trust and respect. I would rather thaem be in my home where I can help with any problems that may arise, than them in a back alley or in a strangers car where no help may be avalible to them if they should need it.
I may not have said this to clearly, it's been a rough day, and I'm trying to catch a few mins here and there in between meltdowns and crisises
~Rebecca
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comfortable talking about it and using it responsibly than sneaking around
and
hiding it because I'd forbidden it.
When I was bout 15 my mom found out that I was smoking pot, instead of yelling and screaming at me, we started talking about it. She shared her fears about me smoking(she also smoked it, I found out). She was afraid of me and my friends driving while stoned (we were) buying frome people we didn't know (we were) having it on us while out and smoking in public (we were). She was willing to provide me and my friends a safe environment, if we could behave responsably and not do the things that were causing her to worry and be scared.
It was great, I did what I needed to do with pot, and because of the repect my mom gave me and those "parental reprocussions" were gone. It was over with and out of my system in a much shorter period of thime than if it had been a power struggle.
Unfortunatly, my dad was not as open with me and my time living with him led me down a much darker path that took a while to recover from.
Jason and I both feel that if and when our kids decide that they are ready to try experimenting we would rather do as my mom did and provide a safe space for them. We look at it as all other "learning experiences" it's better with a safty net; of love, trust and respect. I would rather thaem be in my home where I can help with any problems that may arise, than them in a back alley or in a strangers car where no help may be avalible to them if they should need it.
I may not have said this to clearly, it's been a rough day, and I'm trying to catch a few mins here and there in between meltdowns and crisises
~Rebecca
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