tv & music?
camden
Hi
I've been reading and re-reading alot of posts here and have a question. I
understand the no limit on tv & video/computer game. But what about
content? How do you decide if a certain program is appropriate for a
certain child? I dont mean shows I don't personally like , I recently
watched that sci - fi cartoon "Tripping the Rift". I found it funny but not
made for my 10 year old. When I tell him that, isn't that limiting his
television?
What about music? My 14 yr old gets upset when I wont let him buy what I
consider a mature cd. And his agruement has merit, he says the things they
say in the songs he's heard before but I still have a problem with him
listening to this.
How do you all handle situations like this? I'm always telling my hubby to
try and let go, let them grow up and I find myself still trying to hang on
!! LOL
You guys always have such good advice, alot of it is helping us get further
away from the traditions of p.s. and futher down the unschooling path.
Thanks a bunch,
Carol
I've been reading and re-reading alot of posts here and have a question. I
understand the no limit on tv & video/computer game. But what about
content? How do you decide if a certain program is appropriate for a
certain child? I dont mean shows I don't personally like , I recently
watched that sci - fi cartoon "Tripping the Rift". I found it funny but not
made for my 10 year old. When I tell him that, isn't that limiting his
television?
What about music? My 14 yr old gets upset when I wont let him buy what I
consider a mature cd. And his agruement has merit, he says the things they
say in the songs he's heard before but I still have a problem with him
listening to this.
How do you all handle situations like this? I'm always telling my hubby to
try and let go, let them grow up and I find myself still trying to hang on
!! LOL
You guys always have such good advice, alot of it is helping us get further
away from the traditions of p.s. and futher down the unschooling path.
Thanks a bunch,
Carol
Angela S.
> I've been reading and re-reading alot of posts here and have a question.I
> understand the no limit on tv & video/computer game. But what aboutI have found that my kids aren't interested in things that are too far above
> content?
their maturity level. When they were littler I did wait until they were in
bed before I would watch movies that had content that I found inappropriate
for them.
They knew there were things called R rated movies and at some point they
really wanted to see one just because I had limited them. (by purposefully
waiting for them to be asleep before watching one.) When I finally eased
up, I found that they only were interested because we had limited them. They
made it a point to watch one or two and then they weren't interested anymore
because the movies were just not interesting to them. They don't want to
watch things just because they are R rated anymore. They don't have
interest in movies that are created for adults, for the most part. They
just don't hold their interest. Once in a while if we are watching
something rated R my youngest (almost 9) will come sit with us just because
she wants to be with us. Nothing she sees on TV seems to bother her and she
knows better than to repeat what she hears among the uninitiated. My older
dd (10) finds something else to do if she thinks a movie we are watching
will bother her. (scary or otherwise)
To sum it up, as long as your kids know not to repeat what they hear, if
given the chance, they learn filter what they aren't ready for. I am always
there to talk with them about anything they see that is too much for them
because they only reason they usually chose to watch something R rated is
when we are watching too. On their own they still choose cartoons and horse
training shows.
Angela
game-enthusiast@...
Joyce Fetteroll
On Aug 15, 2005, at 11:04 AM, camden wrote:
don't like.
So rather than saying no to a movie, you find out if there are parts
that would bother him. (http://www.screenit.com is a good resource.)
If the movie still sounds intriguing despite the bothersome parts you
*help* him acquire skills to deal with that so he's more powerful
than a movie :-)
Give him the power to fast forward/skip through parts he doesn't
like, to stop a movie at any point, to go do something else until a
bothersome scene is done, to shut his eyes. My daughter doesn't like
moving skeletons so there's one scene in Lord of the Rings that she
always closes her eyes on, and she's slowly gotten used to the
skeletons in Pirates of the Caribbean so I think she'll watch most of
those scenes now.
If we stand in their way and then finally relent (or they're able to
sneak it somewhere else), they'll watch a movie *even if it bothers
them* because they had to fight so hard for the right to watch it.
If they can watch anything they want, they won't sit through things
that bother them -- *if* we give them the power over that thing.
If the world is divided between what you're allowed to have and what
you're forbidden to have, it's natural to want what's forbidden.
(People wonder why they're being protected from the thing and it's a
challenge to their self worth to want to prove that they can handle
it.) When the world is divided between what you want and what you
don't want there isn't a reason to investigate what you don't want! ;-)
buy for yourself? When we stand in someone's way of getting what they
want it tells them we think something is more powerful than they are
and we don't trust them, we don't think they're competent enough to
handle something.
What do you fear that will happen if your 14 yo listens to songs with
mature content?
The likely reactions are "I'm competent enough to handle this and
I'll show you," or "You're totally clueless about me and about this
music and what's important to me so since you're being a roadblock
I'll find a way around you," or he'll want to listen to it even if
some of it makes him uncomfortable because he wants the power to choose.
Listen to it with him :-) Ask him what he likes about it and really
listen as you would a friend. Don't fear his ideas. If your home is
loving and supportive, there's no reason for him to want a life
that's about causing pain to others or having power over them. (Which
is all the more reason to give him power now so that he doesn't
equate power with freedom.)
But sometimes it's interesting to try on ideas you don't want to see
what they're like and what the world is like. As an example some
unschooled kids like violent video games. They're fun *because* there
aren't real life consequences to the actions. It's fun to explore
what the would would be like if the rules were different. But that's
not the same as wanting to live in that world! To have that world
where people can be mowed down with a machine gun means giving up a
loving, comfortable home. The trade off isn't worth it!
A good book for parents of teens is Parent/Teen Breakthrough: The
Relationship Approach.
Joyce
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
> But what aboutBy helping a child get access to what they like *and* avoid what they
> content? How do you decide if a certain program is appropriate for a
> certain child?
don't like.
So rather than saying no to a movie, you find out if there are parts
that would bother him. (http://www.screenit.com is a good resource.)
If the movie still sounds intriguing despite the bothersome parts you
*help* him acquire skills to deal with that so he's more powerful
than a movie :-)
Give him the power to fast forward/skip through parts he doesn't
like, to stop a movie at any point, to go do something else until a
bothersome scene is done, to shut his eyes. My daughter doesn't like
moving skeletons so there's one scene in Lord of the Rings that she
always closes her eyes on, and she's slowly gotten used to the
skeletons in Pirates of the Caribbean so I think she'll watch most of
those scenes now.
If we stand in their way and then finally relent (or they're able to
sneak it somewhere else), they'll watch a movie *even if it bothers
them* because they had to fight so hard for the right to watch it.
If they can watch anything they want, they won't sit through things
that bother them -- *if* we give them the power over that thing.
If the world is divided between what you're allowed to have and what
you're forbidden to have, it's natural to want what's forbidden.
(People wonder why they're being protected from the thing and it's a
challenge to their self worth to want to prove that they can handle
it.) When the world is divided between what you want and what you
don't want there isn't a reason to investigate what you don't want! ;-)
> My 14 yr old gets upset when I wont let him buy what IWouldn't you get upset if your husband decided what books you could
> consider a mature cd.
buy for yourself? When we stand in someone's way of getting what they
want it tells them we think something is more powerful than they are
and we don't trust them, we don't think they're competent enough to
handle something.
What do you fear that will happen if your 14 yo listens to songs with
mature content?
The likely reactions are "I'm competent enough to handle this and
I'll show you," or "You're totally clueless about me and about this
music and what's important to me so since you're being a roadblock
I'll find a way around you," or he'll want to listen to it even if
some of it makes him uncomfortable because he wants the power to choose.
Listen to it with him :-) Ask him what he likes about it and really
listen as you would a friend. Don't fear his ideas. If your home is
loving and supportive, there's no reason for him to want a life
that's about causing pain to others or having power over them. (Which
is all the more reason to give him power now so that he doesn't
equate power with freedom.)
But sometimes it's interesting to try on ideas you don't want to see
what they're like and what the world is like. As an example some
unschooled kids like violent video games. They're fun *because* there
aren't real life consequences to the actions. It's fun to explore
what the would would be like if the rules were different. But that's
not the same as wanting to live in that world! To have that world
where people can be mowed down with a machine gun means giving up a
loving, comfortable home. The trade off isn't worth it!
A good book for parents of teens is Parent/Teen Breakthrough: The
Relationship Approach.
Joyce
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
camden
Hi Joyce,
Thanks, I think I truly knew all this but its good to see it said by someone else. I know if my hubby tried to tell me what to do, see or read I'd surely rebel. I guess its a little hard to let him totally grow up. But as long as he still comes to me before he goes to bed and gives me a hug and says our goodnight ritual we'll be okay.
I want him to be independant but still alittle dependant on me too.
Teen years were difficult in the past, I have 2 adult children and one of which we had an extremely difficult time with. This is why I have chosen to try and change they path we follow with our family & the 6 kiddies we are lucky to still have at home.
I love the advice you all have given me and enjoy reading all the replies to others postings.
Carol - who is now smiling bigger than before :)
********************************************************
Thanks, I think I truly knew all this but its good to see it said by someone else. I know if my hubby tried to tell me what to do, see or read I'd surely rebel. I guess its a little hard to let him totally grow up. But as long as he still comes to me before he goes to bed and gives me a hug and says our goodnight ritual we'll be okay.
I want him to be independant but still alittle dependant on me too.
Teen years were difficult in the past, I have 2 adult children and one of which we had an extremely difficult time with. This is why I have chosen to try and change they path we follow with our family & the 6 kiddies we are lucky to still have at home.
I love the advice you all have given me and enjoy reading all the replies to others postings.
Carol - who is now smiling bigger than before :)
********************************************************
On Aug 15, 2005, at 11:04 AM, camden wrote:
> But what about
> content? How do you decide if a certain program is appropriate for a
> certain child?
By helping a child get access to what they like *and* avoid what they
don't like.
So rather than saying no to a movie, you find out if there are parts
that would bother him. (http://www.screenit.com is a good resource.)
If the movie still sounds intriguing despite the bothersome parts you
*help* him acquire skills to deal with that so he's more powerful
than a movie :-)
Give him the power to fast forward/skip through parts he doesn't
like, to stop a movie at any point, to go do something else until a
bothersome scene is done, to shut his eyes. My daughter doesn't like
moving skeletons so there's one scene in Lord of the Rings that she
always closes her eyes on, and she's slowly gotten used to the
skeletons in Pirates of the Caribbean so I think she'll watch most of
those scenes now.
If we stand in their way and then finally relent (or they're able to
sneak it somewhere else), they'll watch a movie *even if it bothers
them* because they had to fight so hard for the right to watch it.
If they can watch anything they want, they won't sit through things
that bother them -- *if* we give them the power over that thing.
If the world is divided between what you're allowed to have and what
you're forbidden to have, it's natural to want what's forbidden.
(People wonder why they're being protected from the thing and it's a
challenge to their self worth to want to prove that they can handle
it.) When the world is divided between what you want and what you
don't want there isn't a reason to investigate what you don't want! ;-)
> My 14 yr old gets upset when I wont let him buy what I
> consider a mature cd.
Wouldn't you get upset if your husband decided what books you could
buy for yourself? When we stand in someone's way of getting what they
want it tells them we think something is more powerful than they are
and we don't trust them, we don't think they're competent enough to
handle something.
What do you fear that will happen if your 14 yo listens to songs with
mature content?
The likely reactions are "I'm competent enough to handle this and
I'll show you," or "You're totally clueless about me and about this
music and what's important to me so since you're being a roadblock
I'll find a way around you," or he'll want to listen to it even if
some of it makes him uncomfortable because he wants the power to choose.
Listen to it with him :-) Ask him what he likes about it and really
listen as you would a friend. Don't fear his ideas. If your home is
loving and supportive, there's no reason for him to want a life
that's about causing pain to others or having power over them. (Which
is all the more reason to give him power now so that he doesn't
equate power with freedom.)
But sometimes it's interesting to try on ideas you don't want to see
what they're like and what the world is like. As an example some
unschooled kids like violent video games. They're fun *because* there
aren't real life consequences to the actions. It's fun to explore
what the would would be like if the rules were different. But that's
not the same as wanting to live in that world! To have that world
where people can be mowed down with a machine gun means giving up a
loving, comfortable home. The trade off isn't worth it!
A good book for parents of teens is Parent/Teen Breakthrough: The
Relationship Approach.
Joyce
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
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-----Original Message-----
From: camden <ccoutlaw@...>
I've been reading and re-reading alot of posts here and have a
question. I
understand the no limit on tv & video/computer game. But what about
content? How do you decide if a certain program is appropriate for a
certain child? I dont mean shows I don't personally like , I recently
watched that sci - fi cartoon "Tripping the Rift". I found it funny but
not
made for my 10 year old. When I tell him that, isn't that limiting his
television?
-=-=-=-
Well, what exactly are you telling him? That he can't watch it? That he
might not like it? That you forbid it?
Duncan will ask its rating---NOT that we're ratings-mided, but he
understands that movies/tv shows are rated for a reason. He'll ask why
it's rated such. I might say language, violence, or sexual content.
The language doean't bother him at all (or me! <g>), but too much
violence disturbs him, and he just has NO use at all for on-screen sex
or sexual innuendo (if it doesn't already go right over his head!).
Duncan has the choice to watch or not---and he trusts me to screen it
for him. So he's *self*-limiting. *He* doesn't want to watch it.
-=-=-=-
What about music? My 14 yr old gets upset when I wont let him buy what
I
consider a mature cd. And his agruement has merit, he says the things
they
say in the songs he's heard before but I still have a problem with him
listening to this.
-=-=-=-=-
It's his money? And you're still telling him what to do with *his*
money?
Well, buy him a set of earphones, and you won't have to listen to it!
<g>
He'll listen to it as soon as he's able--AND he'll hide it from you.
Better to ask that he not listen to it in front of grandma or his young
cousins---to please be aware that not everyone shares his views on
music and to be considerate.
-=-=-=-
How do you all handle situations like this? I'm always telling my
hubby to
try and let go, let them grow up and I find myself still trying to hang
on
!! LOL
You guys always have such good advice, alot of it is helping us get
further
away from the traditions of p.s. and futher down the unschooling path.
-=-=-=-=-
It gets easier and easier. I promise! <g>
Patience. Time Trust. Respect.
~Kelly
Kelly Lovejoy
Conference Coordinator
Live and Learn Unschooling Conference
October 6-9, 2005
http://liveandlearnconference.org
From: camden <ccoutlaw@...>
I've been reading and re-reading alot of posts here and have a
question. I
understand the no limit on tv & video/computer game. But what about
content? How do you decide if a certain program is appropriate for a
certain child? I dont mean shows I don't personally like , I recently
watched that sci - fi cartoon "Tripping the Rift". I found it funny but
not
made for my 10 year old. When I tell him that, isn't that limiting his
television?
-=-=-=-
Well, what exactly are you telling him? That he can't watch it? That he
might not like it? That you forbid it?
Duncan will ask its rating---NOT that we're ratings-mided, but he
understands that movies/tv shows are rated for a reason. He'll ask why
it's rated such. I might say language, violence, or sexual content.
The language doean't bother him at all (or me! <g>), but too much
violence disturbs him, and he just has NO use at all for on-screen sex
or sexual innuendo (if it doesn't already go right over his head!).
Duncan has the choice to watch or not---and he trusts me to screen it
for him. So he's *self*-limiting. *He* doesn't want to watch it.
-=-=-=-
What about music? My 14 yr old gets upset when I wont let him buy what
I
consider a mature cd. And his agruement has merit, he says the things
they
say in the songs he's heard before but I still have a problem with him
listening to this.
-=-=-=-=-
It's his money? And you're still telling him what to do with *his*
money?
Well, buy him a set of earphones, and you won't have to listen to it!
<g>
He'll listen to it as soon as he's able--AND he'll hide it from you.
Better to ask that he not listen to it in front of grandma or his young
cousins---to please be aware that not everyone shares his views on
music and to be considerate.
-=-=-=-
How do you all handle situations like this? I'm always telling my
hubby to
try and let go, let them grow up and I find myself still trying to hang
on
!! LOL
You guys always have such good advice, alot of it is helping us get
further
away from the traditions of p.s. and futher down the unschooling path.
-=-=-=-=-
It gets easier and easier. I promise! <g>
Patience. Time Trust. Respect.
~Kelly
Kelly Lovejoy
Conference Coordinator
Live and Learn Unschooling Conference
October 6-9, 2005
http://liveandlearnconference.org
soggyboysmom
I'll even stretch things a bit and take this into the realm of video
games (oohhhh they're baaad all that violence and
language....<wink>) As Kelly implied, we give DS information (as she
does when she supplies info on ratings and reasons for the ratings).
When DS (7 yo) is looking at gaming magazines or ads on TV for new
games, he'll check the rating - he knows to look for words
like "blood & gore" and he'll ask about something if he sees
something he's not sure about (like sexual content). He's aware of
the TV rating things (since they pop up at the beginning of each
program) and we've discussed them. In general, he picks stuff that
is of interest (lots of action, generally cartoons, except for some
food network stuff, mythbusters, and Who's Line) and skips that
which isn't (especially my favorite mysteries like Mystery Woman and
Monk and McBride). And, too, there are things he can watch at home
that he opted to skip in the theatrical releases (like Lord of the
Rings) because that is just too intense a setting. Summertime is
great because we can go to the drive in and see things on the big
screen but with more control of the setting (volume, etc) and he
likes that - we went and saw Star Wars III there - it wouldn't have
worked with him in a dark, loud theater but he loved it at the drive
in and is itching for the DVD to be released so we'll have the whole
set.
--Deb
games (oohhhh they're baaad all that violence and
language....<wink>) As Kelly implied, we give DS information (as she
does when she supplies info on ratings and reasons for the ratings).
When DS (7 yo) is looking at gaming magazines or ads on TV for new
games, he'll check the rating - he knows to look for words
like "blood & gore" and he'll ask about something if he sees
something he's not sure about (like sexual content). He's aware of
the TV rating things (since they pop up at the beginning of each
program) and we've discussed them. In general, he picks stuff that
is of interest (lots of action, generally cartoons, except for some
food network stuff, mythbusters, and Who's Line) and skips that
which isn't (especially my favorite mysteries like Mystery Woman and
Monk and McBride). And, too, there are things he can watch at home
that he opted to skip in the theatrical releases (like Lord of the
Rings) because that is just too intense a setting. Summertime is
great because we can go to the drive in and see things on the big
screen but with more control of the setting (volume, etc) and he
likes that - we went and saw Star Wars III there - it wouldn't have
worked with him in a dark, loud theater but he loved it at the drive
in and is itching for the DVD to be released so we'll have the whole
set.
--Deb
Rod Thomas
>>>>>He'll listen to it as soon as he's able--AND he'll hide it fromyou.
~Kelly<<<<<<
Does this apply to sex and alcohol too? So we should allow it all? (
This is a serious question. )
flyerkat
camden
Hi Kelly,
Thanks a bunch. I have gotten some great responses and advice here. As far as tv goes, there is not alot that bothers me either. I think the ratings discussion is a good idea. As I have sat back and watched my kids I see alot of maturity that I was missing (or maybe that I didnt want to see yet! )
The other day Alex came to me and asked me to listen to a cd he had bought, (which I guessed I wouldnt like), and said "I recieved some great advice the other day and I'd like you to play it". Well to say the least he was pleasantly suprised that I was willing to give it a shot. In the end I copied a song I liked but was honest with him, telling him I really didnt care for it. And we discussed the appropriate listening venue when its a more mature cd, he was more than willing to move his radio to another part of the yard when the little ones are outside or put on some headphones.
I believe we have taken another step down that yellow brick road !!! Yee Haw !!
I think I'm going to make a poster out of your final words.
It gets easier and easier. I promise! <g>
Patience. Time Trust. Respect.
Thanks again !! I'm sure I'll ask more advice in the future before we make the final trek down the yellow brick road to the emerald city !
Carol
Thanks a bunch. I have gotten some great responses and advice here. As far as tv goes, there is not alot that bothers me either. I think the ratings discussion is a good idea. As I have sat back and watched my kids I see alot of maturity that I was missing (or maybe that I didnt want to see yet! )
The other day Alex came to me and asked me to listen to a cd he had bought, (which I guessed I wouldnt like), and said "I recieved some great advice the other day and I'd like you to play it". Well to say the least he was pleasantly suprised that I was willing to give it a shot. In the end I copied a song I liked but was honest with him, telling him I really didnt care for it. And we discussed the appropriate listening venue when its a more mature cd, he was more than willing to move his radio to another part of the yard when the little ones are outside or put on some headphones.
I believe we have taken another step down that yellow brick road !!! Yee Haw !!
I think I'm going to make a poster out of your final words.
It gets easier and easier. I promise! <g>
Patience. Time Trust. Respect.
Thanks again !! I'm sure I'll ask more advice in the future before we make the final trek down the yellow brick road to the emerald city !
Carol
----- Original Message -----
From: kbcdlovejo@...
To: [email protected]
Sent: Monday, August 22, 2005 2:29 PM
Subject: Re: [unschoolingbasics] tv & music?
-----Original Message-----
From: camden <ccoutlaw@...>
I've been reading and re-reading alot of posts here and have a
question. I
understand the no limit on tv & video/computer game. But what about
content? How do you decide if a certain program is appropriate for a
certain child? I dont mean shows I don't personally like , I recently
watched that sci - fi cartoon "Tripping the Rift". I found it funny but
not
made for my 10 year old. When I tell him that, isn't that limiting his
television?
-=-=-=-
Well, what exactly are you telling him? That he can't watch it? That he
might not like it? That you forbid it?
Duncan will ask its rating---NOT that we're ratings-mided, but he
understands that movies/tv shows are rated for a reason. He'll ask why
it's rated such. I might say language, violence, or sexual content.
The language doean't bother him at all (or me! <g>), but too much
violence disturbs him, and he just has NO use at all for on-screen sex
or sexual innuendo (if it doesn't already go right over his head!).
Duncan has the choice to watch or not---and he trusts me to screen it
for him. So he's *self*-limiting. *He* doesn't want to watch it.
-=-=-=-
What about music? My 14 yr old gets upset when I wont let him buy what
I
consider a mature cd. And his agruement has merit, he says the things
they
say in the songs he's heard before but I still have a problem with him
listening to this.
-=-=-=-=-
It's his money? And you're still telling him what to do with *his*
money?
Well, buy him a set of earphones, and you won't have to listen to it!
<g>
He'll listen to it as soon as he's able--AND he'll hide it from you.
Better to ask that he not listen to it in front of grandma or his young
cousins---to please be aware that not everyone shares his views on
music and to be considerate.
-=-=-=-
How do you all handle situations like this? I'm always telling my
hubby to
try and let go, let them grow up and I find myself still trying to hang
on
!! LOL
You guys always have such good advice, alot of it is helping us get
further
away from the traditions of p.s. and futher down the unschooling path.
-=-=-=-=-
It gets easier and easier. I promise! <g>
Patience. Time Trust. Respect.
~Kelly
Kelly Lovejoy
Conference Coordinator
Live and Learn Unschooling Conference
October 6-9, 2005
http://liveandlearnconference.org
SPONSORED LINKS Unschooling Home schooling curriculum Home schooling high school
Home schooling information Home schooling program Home schooling resource
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
YAHOO! GROUPS LINKS
a.. Visit your group "unschoolingbasics" on the web.
b.. To unsubscribe from this group, send an email to:
[email protected]
c.. Your use of Yahoo! Groups is subject to the Yahoo! Terms of Service.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
[email protected]
-----Original Message-----
From: Rod Thomas <flyerrod@...>
Does this apply to sex and alcohol too? So we should allow it all? (
This is a serious question. )
-=-=-
You bet---and I'm as serious as a heart attack. How many of *you* told
your parents when you had sex? Drank too much? Smoked your first joint?
For the record, I was legally an adult the first time I had sex. I
drank like a fish from 16 to 20. Never smoked pot. Did my parents have
a clue? Did they "allow" it?
But my son talks to me all the time about these things. I would
seriously rather have him be honest than sneaky.
~Kelly
Kelly Lovejoy
Conference Coordinator
Live and Learn Unschooling Conference
October 6-9, 2005
http://liveandlearnconference.org
From: Rod Thomas <flyerrod@...>
>>>>>He'll listen to it as soon as he's able--AND he'll hide it fromyou.
Does this apply to sex and alcohol too? So we should allow it all? (
This is a serious question. )
-=-=-
You bet---and I'm as serious as a heart attack. How many of *you* told
your parents when you had sex? Drank too much? Smoked your first joint?
For the record, I was legally an adult the first time I had sex. I
drank like a fish from 16 to 20. Never smoked pot. Did my parents have
a clue? Did they "allow" it?
But my son talks to me all the time about these things. I would
seriously rather have him be honest than sneaky.
~Kelly
Kelly Lovejoy
Conference Coordinator
Live and Learn Unschooling Conference
October 6-9, 2005
http://liveandlearnconference.org
[email protected]
-----Original Message-----
From: camden <ccoutlaw@...>
Hi Kelly, Thanks a bunch.
-=-=-=
You're very welcome.
-=-=-=-
I have gotten some great responses and advice here. As far as
tv goes, there is not alot that bothers me either. I think the ratings
discussion is a good idea. As I have sat back and watched my kids I
see alot of
maturity that I was missing (or maybe that I didnt want to see yet! )
The other day Alex came to me and asked me to listen to a cd he had
bought,
(which I guessed I wouldnt like), and said "I recieved some great
advice the
other day and I'd like you to play it". Well to say the least he was
pleasantly
suprised that I was willing to give it a shot. In the end I copied a
song I
liked but was honest with him, telling him I really didnt care for it.
And we
discussed the appropriate listening venue when its a more mature cd, he
was more
than willing to move his radio to another part of the yard when the
little ones
are outside or put on some headphones.
-=-=-=-
Very cool. It's amazing how reasonable hey can be when we give them our
time and honesty. I bet he thinks you're kind of reasonable too! <g>
-=-=-=-
I believe we have taken another step down that yellow brick road !!!
Yee Haw !!
I think I'm going to make a poster out of your final words.
It gets easier and easier. I promise! <g>
Patience. Time Trust. Respect.
Thanks again !! I'm sure I'll ask more advice in the future before
we make
the final trek down the yellow brick road to the emerald city !
-=-==-
I have so many little pieces of paper tacked to my kitchen
wall---brilliant little gems from Sandra and Anne and Pam(s), and
Deb(s) and Joyce and Zenmomma and Ren and Rue and Valerie and.... I had
books for a while will pages and pages of things that changed my life.
Unschooling Rocks! <g>
~Kelly
Kelly Lovejoy
Conference Coordinator
Live and Learn Unschooling Conference
October 6-9, 2005
http://liveandlearnconference.org
From: camden <ccoutlaw@...>
Hi Kelly, Thanks a bunch.
-=-=-=
You're very welcome.
-=-=-=-
I have gotten some great responses and advice here. As far as
tv goes, there is not alot that bothers me either. I think the ratings
discussion is a good idea. As I have sat back and watched my kids I
see alot of
maturity that I was missing (or maybe that I didnt want to see yet! )
The other day Alex came to me and asked me to listen to a cd he had
bought,
(which I guessed I wouldnt like), and said "I recieved some great
advice the
other day and I'd like you to play it". Well to say the least he was
pleasantly
suprised that I was willing to give it a shot. In the end I copied a
song I
liked but was honest with him, telling him I really didnt care for it.
And we
discussed the appropriate listening venue when its a more mature cd, he
was more
than willing to move his radio to another part of the yard when the
little ones
are outside or put on some headphones.
-=-=-=-
Very cool. It's amazing how reasonable hey can be when we give them our
time and honesty. I bet he thinks you're kind of reasonable too! <g>
-=-=-=-
I believe we have taken another step down that yellow brick road !!!
Yee Haw !!
I think I'm going to make a poster out of your final words.
It gets easier and easier. I promise! <g>
Patience. Time Trust. Respect.
Thanks again !! I'm sure I'll ask more advice in the future before
we make
the final trek down the yellow brick road to the emerald city !
-=-==-
I have so many little pieces of paper tacked to my kitchen
wall---brilliant little gems from Sandra and Anne and Pam(s), and
Deb(s) and Joyce and Zenmomma and Ren and Rue and Valerie and.... I had
books for a while will pages and pages of things that changed my life.
Unschooling Rocks! <g>
~Kelly
Kelly Lovejoy
Conference Coordinator
Live and Learn Unschooling Conference
October 6-9, 2005
http://liveandlearnconference.org
[email protected]
<<Does this apply to sex and alcohol too? So we should allow it all?>>
What you need to understand is that you can't prevent it. Your kids are going to do what they are going to do, either behind your back or in a loving relationship with you.
My kids have had access to alcohol since they were born. The fridge in the garage is full of beer at this very minute. The kids have had sips from a beer any time they asked. Because it isn't some huge taboo, the kids go just by the taste in deciding whether to drink it, not some big "I'm a teen so I need to rebel".....and let's face it, beer is a bit of an acquired taste.
My 14yo is starting to go out with boys. I have a basket of condoms in the bathroom closet. I told her about them, we talked about ethics, about responsibility, about that I love her no matter what. I can't keep her from having all the sex she wants unless I lock her in the house....but I can make sure that if she has any concerns or questions she feels she can come to me.
Julie S.
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
What you need to understand is that you can't prevent it. Your kids are going to do what they are going to do, either behind your back or in a loving relationship with you.
My kids have had access to alcohol since they were born. The fridge in the garage is full of beer at this very minute. The kids have had sips from a beer any time they asked. Because it isn't some huge taboo, the kids go just by the taste in deciding whether to drink it, not some big "I'm a teen so I need to rebel".....and let's face it, beer is a bit of an acquired taste.
My 14yo is starting to go out with boys. I have a basket of condoms in the bathroom closet. I told her about them, we talked about ethics, about responsibility, about that I love her no matter what. I can't keep her from having all the sex she wants unless I lock her in the house....but I can make sure that if she has any concerns or questions she feels she can come to me.
Julie S.
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]