hello and introductions (long-ish)
tibetandesertdragon
Greetings to All,
I just signed on to this group at Kelly's recommendation and am just
getting around to letting you know we are here! I'm so appreciative
that there is such a "safe" place to bring unschooling questions. I
am a member of a couple of other unschooling groups and have been
terrified to post my questions due to some pretty intense
discussion! It feels so wonderful to read what others are up to and
to know that I'm not alone. I am graced with 11 year old and 8 year
old boys. Our story:
In 2003 we were living in Asheville, NC (my home state, I'm from the
Outer Banks), living the American Dream life with a beautiful, old
historic farmhouse on acres of land with organic gardens and
orchards. The kids were in school (actually a fairly good one for
public schools) and I was PTO president for 2 years, supermommy
volunteer. My husband was working for Toshiba as sales manager over
NC and SC, and I had a thriving energy-work practice in downtown
Asheville. We were had a community of friends and resources, and on
the surface one would think we were living the ideal life.
But in my inner most heart, I was getting messages that things were
off. I think it started when my now 11 year old, Jess, graduated
from his 1st-2nd grade combo class. His teacher and principal
strongly urged us to skip him ahead a grade because he would be too
bored. We agreed because Jess is so mature physically, emotionally,
mentally, spiritually, so he was schooched ahead to 3rd grade from
being a 1st grader. This turned out to be a huge mistake. Well,
really the mistake was leaving him in school at all. I was getting
messages (I work with my inner guidance) that I was to homeschool him
at that point, very strongly. I even saw visions of him learning the
healing work from me as an apprentice, similar to the old days when a
child went off to learn a trade at age 11 after schooling at home.
But I didn't do it....I was wrapped up in my practice, and my younger
son, Aidan, was eager for his Montessori preschool, and I finally had
hands free time! I was loathe to give up my new found freedom, so I
ignored my guidance.
Well, the long story short is that Jess learned over the next 2 and a
half years to hate himself. Because he was the youngest but
the "smartest" in the class, and because he is a sensitive, big-
hearted person, he was picked on. He internalized the self doubt and
self hatred that was all around him, which mostly came from the other
children and the environment that school creates of everyone having
to be on board at the same time doing the same thing and excelling at
it. I watched him grow a little sadder each year, shrinking more and
more into himself. My bright, beautiful butterfly of a son was
withering away. In the mean time, I'd put Aidan in school, too and
he was having different but similarly spirit-killing experiences.
Thank goodness I woke up.
The wake up happened over a couple of years, but my guidance got so
loud and so uncomfortable to ignore that I finally spilled the beans
to my husband one night (October 2003). I told him that I felt we
were living someone else's idea of success, and that if we continued
what I saw on the horizon was that we would have disaster as a
family, perhaps not even be together any more. I felt so strongly
that my personal spiritual path was diverting from what we had
created, and that I was going to have to choose. He really heard me,
and over a long, tear-filled night, we came to the realization that
there was nothing more important than our family and love for
eachother- all else were trappings.
We were guided to give it ALL up....to close my practice, Pete to
quit his job, to sell our beloved home, to pull the kids out of
school, and to buy a used RV and travel the country together. Over a
6 WEEK period, everything materialized in miraculous ways to get us
out of there; from start to finish, 6 weeks was all it took. I later
took this to mean that we were on the right track and being wholly
supported by the universe! For example, the day after we were guided
to sell the house, I told ONE person and she bought it; no realtors,
no fuss. We opened our home to the community at large and over 4
weekends sold our possessions. We left ASheville in December of
2003, and have been on the road until this last month, when we have
settled (for now) in Alburquerque NM. Why here? This area picked us
(another whole story), and our guidance told us to stay. We have met
amazing folks here already, and feel ourselves becoming part of this
community. (We have a website that talks about the "wake up" and
what we have done over the last 17 months with photos.
www.berrytrip.us )
The subsequent time has been amazing, a true gift to all of us. Our
family has re-coalesced, we have all gotten back in touch with our
Spirits and are actively cultivating that relationship through
mediation and mind/body/spirit work. We met so many wonderful folks
on the road, and had so many magical experiences that guided us. My
energy practice made the transition to phone, although I am being
approached here in NM already to work in the physical realm with
folks. Peter has found meaningful work with a local venture capital
non-profit that funds New Mexico businesses. As to home learning, we
seem to do a balance of several types...some formal, some
unschooling, and then of course a blend of esoteric teachings. I
feel that I have been charged with raising two leaders of a hopefully
new earth. I know in my heart that to create a more peaceful, loving
civilization my children will have to do, think, speak and BE
differently than previous generations. We do alot of talking about
and exploring feelings, listening to our intuition, feeling how our
energy fields are impacted by other people or events (like the recent
earth dynamics), taking responsibility for ourselves and not being
victims. Really, the spiritual/emotional/mental components are the
main thrust of our "home schooling", even though we do some of the
academic stuff so that the kids have the tools they need to be
articulate and resourceful in the world. Sometimes I fall into doubt
and wonder what the heck I'm doing, but 99% of the time I am so clear
that we are doing what we are supposed to be doing.
Robyn, I found your recent post about what unschooling is to be so
helpful and great food for thought for me. We are considering
attending the unschooling conference in St Louis (it would be our
first) because, as I told Kelly, we are "teetering" on the brink of
being full unschoolers, but my own fears are getting in the way.
Perhaps being around some wonderful unschooling folks who are so
trusting of themselves would be good for me (and my children).
So that's my tale! Thank you so much for this wonderful
newsgroup...I cherish reading it, especially when folks share deeply
and respond to questions in a thoughtful, balanced way.
With Gratitude,
licia Berry
www.berrytrip.us
www.liciaberry.com
I just signed on to this group at Kelly's recommendation and am just
getting around to letting you know we are here! I'm so appreciative
that there is such a "safe" place to bring unschooling questions. I
am a member of a couple of other unschooling groups and have been
terrified to post my questions due to some pretty intense
discussion! It feels so wonderful to read what others are up to and
to know that I'm not alone. I am graced with 11 year old and 8 year
old boys. Our story:
In 2003 we were living in Asheville, NC (my home state, I'm from the
Outer Banks), living the American Dream life with a beautiful, old
historic farmhouse on acres of land with organic gardens and
orchards. The kids were in school (actually a fairly good one for
public schools) and I was PTO president for 2 years, supermommy
volunteer. My husband was working for Toshiba as sales manager over
NC and SC, and I had a thriving energy-work practice in downtown
Asheville. We were had a community of friends and resources, and on
the surface one would think we were living the ideal life.
But in my inner most heart, I was getting messages that things were
off. I think it started when my now 11 year old, Jess, graduated
from his 1st-2nd grade combo class. His teacher and principal
strongly urged us to skip him ahead a grade because he would be too
bored. We agreed because Jess is so mature physically, emotionally,
mentally, spiritually, so he was schooched ahead to 3rd grade from
being a 1st grader. This turned out to be a huge mistake. Well,
really the mistake was leaving him in school at all. I was getting
messages (I work with my inner guidance) that I was to homeschool him
at that point, very strongly. I even saw visions of him learning the
healing work from me as an apprentice, similar to the old days when a
child went off to learn a trade at age 11 after schooling at home.
But I didn't do it....I was wrapped up in my practice, and my younger
son, Aidan, was eager for his Montessori preschool, and I finally had
hands free time! I was loathe to give up my new found freedom, so I
ignored my guidance.
Well, the long story short is that Jess learned over the next 2 and a
half years to hate himself. Because he was the youngest but
the "smartest" in the class, and because he is a sensitive, big-
hearted person, he was picked on. He internalized the self doubt and
self hatred that was all around him, which mostly came from the other
children and the environment that school creates of everyone having
to be on board at the same time doing the same thing and excelling at
it. I watched him grow a little sadder each year, shrinking more and
more into himself. My bright, beautiful butterfly of a son was
withering away. In the mean time, I'd put Aidan in school, too and
he was having different but similarly spirit-killing experiences.
Thank goodness I woke up.
The wake up happened over a couple of years, but my guidance got so
loud and so uncomfortable to ignore that I finally spilled the beans
to my husband one night (October 2003). I told him that I felt we
were living someone else's idea of success, and that if we continued
what I saw on the horizon was that we would have disaster as a
family, perhaps not even be together any more. I felt so strongly
that my personal spiritual path was diverting from what we had
created, and that I was going to have to choose. He really heard me,
and over a long, tear-filled night, we came to the realization that
there was nothing more important than our family and love for
eachother- all else were trappings.
We were guided to give it ALL up....to close my practice, Pete to
quit his job, to sell our beloved home, to pull the kids out of
school, and to buy a used RV and travel the country together. Over a
6 WEEK period, everything materialized in miraculous ways to get us
out of there; from start to finish, 6 weeks was all it took. I later
took this to mean that we were on the right track and being wholly
supported by the universe! For example, the day after we were guided
to sell the house, I told ONE person and she bought it; no realtors,
no fuss. We opened our home to the community at large and over 4
weekends sold our possessions. We left ASheville in December of
2003, and have been on the road until this last month, when we have
settled (for now) in Alburquerque NM. Why here? This area picked us
(another whole story), and our guidance told us to stay. We have met
amazing folks here already, and feel ourselves becoming part of this
community. (We have a website that talks about the "wake up" and
what we have done over the last 17 months with photos.
www.berrytrip.us )
The subsequent time has been amazing, a true gift to all of us. Our
family has re-coalesced, we have all gotten back in touch with our
Spirits and are actively cultivating that relationship through
mediation and mind/body/spirit work. We met so many wonderful folks
on the road, and had so many magical experiences that guided us. My
energy practice made the transition to phone, although I am being
approached here in NM already to work in the physical realm with
folks. Peter has found meaningful work with a local venture capital
non-profit that funds New Mexico businesses. As to home learning, we
seem to do a balance of several types...some formal, some
unschooling, and then of course a blend of esoteric teachings. I
feel that I have been charged with raising two leaders of a hopefully
new earth. I know in my heart that to create a more peaceful, loving
civilization my children will have to do, think, speak and BE
differently than previous generations. We do alot of talking about
and exploring feelings, listening to our intuition, feeling how our
energy fields are impacted by other people or events (like the recent
earth dynamics), taking responsibility for ourselves and not being
victims. Really, the spiritual/emotional/mental components are the
main thrust of our "home schooling", even though we do some of the
academic stuff so that the kids have the tools they need to be
articulate and resourceful in the world. Sometimes I fall into doubt
and wonder what the heck I'm doing, but 99% of the time I am so clear
that we are doing what we are supposed to be doing.
Robyn, I found your recent post about what unschooling is to be so
helpful and great food for thought for me. We are considering
attending the unschooling conference in St Louis (it would be our
first) because, as I told Kelly, we are "teetering" on the brink of
being full unschoolers, but my own fears are getting in the way.
Perhaps being around some wonderful unschooling folks who are so
trusting of themselves would be good for me (and my children).
So that's my tale! Thank you so much for this wonderful
newsgroup...I cherish reading it, especially when folks share deeply
and respond to questions in a thoughtful, balanced way.
With Gratitude,
licia Berry
www.berrytrip.us
www.liciaberry.com
[email protected]
In a message dated 6/13/2005 8:01:03 AM Eastern Standard Time,
[email protected] writes:
We are considering
attending the unschooling conference in St Louis (it would be our
first) because, as I told Kelly, we are "teetering" on the brink of
being full unschoolers, but my own fears are getting in the way.
Perhaps being around some wonderful unschooling folks who are so
trusting of themselves would be good for me (and my children).
************************************
licia, I just read your introduction, and I realized just how ingrained this
whole school thing is. You were able to totally pick up everything, sell
your house, drift until you found the right place, etc. Most of us would NEVER
be brave enough to do that -- but totally unschooling scares you!!!
You're braver than that, and you already trust your kids. Come to the Live
and Learn conference, and give yourself over to the REALLY BRIGHT side of the
force! ;)
Kathryn
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
[email protected] writes:
We are considering
attending the unschooling conference in St Louis (it would be our
first) because, as I told Kelly, we are "teetering" on the brink of
being full unschoolers, but my own fears are getting in the way.
Perhaps being around some wonderful unschooling folks who are so
trusting of themselves would be good for me (and my children).
************************************
licia, I just read your introduction, and I realized just how ingrained this
whole school thing is. You were able to totally pick up everything, sell
your house, drift until you found the right place, etc. Most of us would NEVER
be brave enough to do that -- but totally unschooling scares you!!!
You're braver than that, and you already trust your kids. Come to the Live
and Learn conference, and give yourself over to the REALLY BRIGHT side of the
force! ;)
Kathryn
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
tibetandesertdragon
Thanks Kathryn! I needed that reflection! You are right, schooling
is ingrained; not only am I a "product" of the public schools, but I
was actually an art teacher (years ago) in the Atlanta Public Schools
for 4 years. I left because I was disgusted with what I saw there,
but in my classroom it was very process oriented, very much about
allowing the kids to express their unique understanding of the world,
lots of freedom...but it was still through the lens of whatever art
lesson I was supposed to teach them. My motto, however, was that
children were not an empty vessel to be filled, but a full vessel
awaiting their own discovery. The "students" taught me every day. I
was considered a very rebellious teacher.
NOW, this unschooling thing is so much what we are wanting to embody
in our lives; trust, partnership, inner reference point, etc. It
feels like the pioneering that we have done in our lives by leaving
our old world behind and embracing the unknown. You are so
right....it seems a contradiction that we have lived our lives this
way and yet I have been sort of hanging on to an old paradigm way of
learning. I feel like I need psychic surgery to remove the old ideas
of schooling from my head! Maybe the conference will help me over
the edge!
I want to thank you for your response; I have been unsure whether we
will "fit" into the unschooling community as I have seen some pretty
confrontational discussion on some other groups. This has been part
of my resistance, I think. The way you responded was loving,
positive and empowering. Thank you!
Namaste,
licia
www.liciaberry.com
www.berrytrip.us
is ingrained; not only am I a "product" of the public schools, but I
was actually an art teacher (years ago) in the Atlanta Public Schools
for 4 years. I left because I was disgusted with what I saw there,
but in my classroom it was very process oriented, very much about
allowing the kids to express their unique understanding of the world,
lots of freedom...but it was still through the lens of whatever art
lesson I was supposed to teach them. My motto, however, was that
children were not an empty vessel to be filled, but a full vessel
awaiting their own discovery. The "students" taught me every day. I
was considered a very rebellious teacher.
NOW, this unschooling thing is so much what we are wanting to embody
in our lives; trust, partnership, inner reference point, etc. It
feels like the pioneering that we have done in our lives by leaving
our old world behind and embracing the unknown. You are so
right....it seems a contradiction that we have lived our lives this
way and yet I have been sort of hanging on to an old paradigm way of
learning. I feel like I need psychic surgery to remove the old ideas
of schooling from my head! Maybe the conference will help me over
the edge!
I want to thank you for your response; I have been unsure whether we
will "fit" into the unschooling community as I have seen some pretty
confrontational discussion on some other groups. This has been part
of my resistance, I think. The way you responded was loving,
positive and empowering. Thank you!
Namaste,
licia
www.liciaberry.com
www.berrytrip.us
--- In [email protected], KathrynJB@a... wrote:
>
> In a message dated 6/13/2005 8:01:03 AM Eastern Standard Time,
> [email protected] writes:
>
> We are considering
> attending the unschooling conference in St Louis (it would be our
> first) because, as I told Kelly, we are "teetering" on the brink
of
> being full unschoolers, but my own fears are getting in the way.
> Perhaps being around some wonderful unschooling folks who are so
> trusting of themselves would be good for me (and my children).
>
>
>
> ************************************
> licia, I just read your introduction, and I realized just how
ingrained this
> whole school thing is. You were able to totally pick up everything,
sell
> your house, drift until you found the right place, etc. Most of us
would NEVER
> be brave enough to do that -- but totally unschooling scares you!!!
>
> You're braver than that, and you already trust your kids. Come to
the Live
> and Learn conference, and give yourself over to the REALLY BRIGHT
side of the
> force! ;)
>
> Kathryn
>
>
> [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]