Unschooling/Parenting Question
Tina
Hi, everyone! I'm Tina, unschooling mom to Adrian, 11 years old.
We have been unschooling for a year and a half now. I am SO HAPPY
we discovered unschooling. It has been an extreme pleasure watching
him grow and come "out of his shell" so to speak.
Honestly, I've not had much trouble adjusting in regard
to "schoolish" type subjects "being missed". I know that's not the
case and am very comfortable with our decision to unschool.
Deschooling was a very enjoyable process for the both of us, I do
believe.
However, this is where my concern is lying now. I've no experience
or concrete references in relation to "parenting issues", for lack
of better wording, as it relates to an unschooling lifestyle. Here
is my current concern...
Since we began unschooling Adrian's intersts have been changing.
Normal, I know, and a very positive thing indeed. I do not limit
television or video games or food or anything. He is an excellent
desision maker because of this, I'm sure. PS2 and computer games
are a passion for him, and he absolutely loves Adult Swim cartoons
and South Park. Also, bear in mind that he is number seven, and the
other six are all PS children...out of my control...even longer
story. :)
Well, Adrian has a very mature sense of humor. He likes to share
little snippits from cartoons he's watched that he finds
particularly funny. He also likes to tell more mature jokes and has
a very dry sense of humor. The flip side is that he carries on very
adult conversations and can make nearly anyone pause for thought
with his opinions. He is an interesting kid to converse with. This
is where my question is...how do I teach him tact without squelching
the self-esteem and level of comfort he's established in sharing
converation with others? I want him to feel free to talk about
what's on his mind. BUT, I also want him to learn that some things
just aren't appropriate to talk about with certain people. Not
everyone is going to find his jokes or the scenes from South Park
amusing.
Can anyone share anything with me on this? Has anyone been there,
done that? Do you know of any resources I can utilize? I'm an avid
reader and regular at the library. Any imput is welcome and wanted
as this is new territory for me.
Thanks - Tina
We have been unschooling for a year and a half now. I am SO HAPPY
we discovered unschooling. It has been an extreme pleasure watching
him grow and come "out of his shell" so to speak.
Honestly, I've not had much trouble adjusting in regard
to "schoolish" type subjects "being missed". I know that's not the
case and am very comfortable with our decision to unschool.
Deschooling was a very enjoyable process for the both of us, I do
believe.
However, this is where my concern is lying now. I've no experience
or concrete references in relation to "parenting issues", for lack
of better wording, as it relates to an unschooling lifestyle. Here
is my current concern...
Since we began unschooling Adrian's intersts have been changing.
Normal, I know, and a very positive thing indeed. I do not limit
television or video games or food or anything. He is an excellent
desision maker because of this, I'm sure. PS2 and computer games
are a passion for him, and he absolutely loves Adult Swim cartoons
and South Park. Also, bear in mind that he is number seven, and the
other six are all PS children...out of my control...even longer
story. :)
Well, Adrian has a very mature sense of humor. He likes to share
little snippits from cartoons he's watched that he finds
particularly funny. He also likes to tell more mature jokes and has
a very dry sense of humor. The flip side is that he carries on very
adult conversations and can make nearly anyone pause for thought
with his opinions. He is an interesting kid to converse with. This
is where my question is...how do I teach him tact without squelching
the self-esteem and level of comfort he's established in sharing
converation with others? I want him to feel free to talk about
what's on his mind. BUT, I also want him to learn that some things
just aren't appropriate to talk about with certain people. Not
everyone is going to find his jokes or the scenes from South Park
amusing.
Can anyone share anything with me on this? Has anyone been there,
done that? Do you know of any resources I can utilize? I'm an avid
reader and regular at the library. Any imput is welcome and wanted
as this is new territory for me.
Thanks - Tina
soggyboysmom
Haven't BTDT, but I think it would probably work the same as anything
else - verbalize how *you* determine what to say in different
situations and hand along any information you have that you think
might be useful. Same as you might discuss appropriate behavior for a
wedding or a funeral or any other social situation.
else - verbalize how *you* determine what to say in different
situations and hand along any information you have that you think
might be useful. Same as you might discuss appropriate behavior for a
wedding or a funeral or any other social situation.
Pam Sorooshian
On May 20, 2005, at 11:03 AM, Tina wrote:
Just tell him - I bet he can already tell he gets different reactions
from different people. So elaborate on that - and point out that it
takes a certain amount of skill to learn when and where to say what.
-pam
> BUT, I also want him to learn that some thingsOh yeah.
> just aren't appropriate to talk about with certain people. Not
> everyone is going to find his jokes or the scenes from South Park
> amusing.
>
> Can anyone share anything with me on this? Has anyone been there,
> done that?
Just tell him - I bet he can already tell he gets different reactions
from different people. So elaborate on that - and point out that it
takes a certain amount of skill to learn when and where to say what.
-pam
J. Stauffer
<<<<Can anyone share anything with me on this? Has anyone been there,
done that? Do you know of any resources I can utilize? I'm an avid
reader and regular at the library. Any imput is welcome and wanted
as this is new territory for me.>>>>
We live in the middle of people who school-at-home because they don't want their kids to associate with anyone who isn't a fundamentalist Christian. And since we homeschool, they tend to assume we are fundamentalist Christian (jokes on them with that one). Being unschoolers, my kids tend to have broader vocabularies, jokes, interests, etc. than most of the area homeschoolers their ages.
I talk to the kids about knowing thier audience.
Julie S.
done that? Do you know of any resources I can utilize? I'm an avid
reader and regular at the library. Any imput is welcome and wanted
as this is new territory for me.>>>>
We live in the middle of people who school-at-home because they don't want their kids to associate with anyone who isn't a fundamentalist Christian. And since we homeschool, they tend to assume we are fundamentalist Christian (jokes on them with that one). Being unschoolers, my kids tend to have broader vocabularies, jokes, interests, etc. than most of the area homeschoolers their ages.
I talk to the kids about knowing thier audience.
Julie S.
----- Original Message -----
From: Tina
To: [email protected]
Sent: Friday, May 20, 2005 1:03 PM
Subject: [unschoolingbasics] Unschooling/Parenting Question
Hi, everyone! I'm Tina, unschooling mom to Adrian, 11 years old.
We have been unschooling for a year and a half now. I am SO HAPPY
we discovered unschooling. It has been an extreme pleasure watching
him grow and come "out of his shell" so to speak.
Honestly, I've not had much trouble adjusting in regard
to "schoolish" type subjects "being missed". I know that's not the
case and am very comfortable with our decision to unschool.
Deschooling was a very enjoyable process for the both of us, I do
believe.
However, this is where my concern is lying now. I've no experience
or concrete references in relation to "parenting issues", for lack
of better wording, as it relates to an unschooling lifestyle. Here
is my current concern...
Since we began unschooling Adrian's intersts have been changing.
Normal, I know, and a very positive thing indeed. I do not limit
television or video games or food or anything. He is an excellent
desision maker because of this, I'm sure. PS2 and computer games
are a passion for him, and he absolutely loves Adult Swim cartoons
and South Park. Also, bear in mind that he is number seven, and the
other six are all PS children...out of my control...even longer
story. :)
Well, Adrian has a very mature sense of humor. He likes to share
little snippits from cartoons he's watched that he finds
particularly funny. He also likes to tell more mature jokes and has
a very dry sense of humor. The flip side is that he carries on very
adult conversations and can make nearly anyone pause for thought
with his opinions. He is an interesting kid to converse with. This
is where my question is...how do I teach him tact without squelching
the self-esteem and level of comfort he's established in sharing
converation with others? I want him to feel free to talk about
what's on his mind. BUT, I also want him to learn that some things
just aren't appropriate to talk about with certain people. Not
everyone is going to find his jokes or the scenes from South Park
amusing.
Can anyone share anything with me on this? Has anyone been there,
done that? Do you know of any resources I can utilize? I'm an avid
reader and regular at the library. Any imput is welcome and wanted
as this is new territory for me.
Thanks - Tina
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I talk to the kids about knowing thier audience.
-=-=-=-=-
Right.
I have no problems with "blue" language. I have quite the potty mouth
myself! <g>
It IS important to know, 'though, WHEN it's proper to use such
language. I suggest that their grandmothers wouldn't appreciate it, but
I also tell them that most of their friends would get into it at a
certain age. I suggest that it doesn't sound very nice coming out of a
three year old's mouth (although it *can* be funny! <g>), so to please
not use those words in front of younger children
Know your audience. Know your situation. Be aware.
It's not that hard.
~Kelly
Kelly Lovejoy
Conference Coordinator
Live and Learn Unschooling Conference
October 6-9, 2005
http://liveandlearnconference.org
-=-=-=-=-
Right.
I have no problems with "blue" language. I have quite the potty mouth
myself! <g>
It IS important to know, 'though, WHEN it's proper to use such
language. I suggest that their grandmothers wouldn't appreciate it, but
I also tell them that most of their friends would get into it at a
certain age. I suggest that it doesn't sound very nice coming out of a
three year old's mouth (although it *can* be funny! <g>), so to please
not use those words in front of younger children
Know your audience. Know your situation. Be aware.
It's not that hard.
~Kelly
Kelly Lovejoy
Conference Coordinator
Live and Learn Unschooling Conference
October 6-9, 2005
http://liveandlearnconference.org
April M
Hi Tina,
Oh, I know exactly where you are coming from! My youngest is only the
youngest of four...but we do run into this quite often. Part of it is that,
as the youngest, he is exposed to things my oldest would never have been
exposed to. On top of that, many of his friends are first-borns....without
exposure to teens...and their parents don't have teens...and then, add to
that our very eclectic group of friends from church to neighbors, to
school-at-home-families, different parenting philosophies....it can be tough
sometimes. He is better now than he used to be...we do a lot of discussing
of the differences in our friends and respecting others' choices....if I
think it will be an issue, I will 'remind' him of what may be unacceptable
to a particular family or group we are going to be interacting with. Ben is
actually pretty sensitive to stuff like this and that helps...I have other
kids less attuned to these things but it was less of an issue when they were
younger (Ben is my only always unschooled child)...and many of our friends
have just learned to shake their heads at us but accept us none the
less....so not sure I have any advice for you...but I understand...
~April
Mom to Kate-18, Lisa-16, Karl-13, & Ben-9.
*REACH Homeschool Grp, an inclusive group in Oakland County
http://www.homeschoolingonashoestring.com/REACH_home.html
* Michigan Unschoolers http://groups.yahoo.com/group/michigan_unschoolers/
*Check out Chuck's art! http://www.artkunst23.com
*Michigan Youth Theater...Acting On Our Dreams...
http://www.michiganyouththeater.org/
"What one knows is, in youth, of little moment; they know enough who know
how to learn."
Henry Brooks Adams (1838-1918)
-----Original Message-----
From: [email protected]
[mailto:[email protected]]On Behalf Of Tina
Sent: Friday, May 20, 2005 2:04 PM
To: [email protected]
Subject: [unschoolingbasics] Unschooling/Parenting Question
Hi, everyone! I'm Tina, unschooling mom to Adrian, 11 years old.
We have been unschooling for a year and a half now. I am SO HAPPY
we discovered unschooling. It has been an extreme pleasure watching
him grow and come "out of his shell" so to speak.
Honestly, I've not had much trouble adjusting in regard
to "schoolish" type subjects "being missed". I know that's not the
case and am very comfortable with our decision to unschool.
Deschooling was a very enjoyable process for the both of us, I do
believe.
However, this is where my concern is lying now. I've no experience
or concrete references in relation to "parenting issues", for lack
of better wording, as it relates to an unschooling lifestyle. Here
is my current concern...
Since we began unschooling Adrian's intersts have been changing.
Normal, I know, and a very positive thing indeed. I do not limit
television or video games or food or anything. He is an excellent
desision maker because of this, I'm sure. PS2 and computer games
are a passion for him, and he absolutely loves Adult Swim cartoons
and South Park. Also, bear in mind that he is number seven, and the
other six are all PS children...out of my control...even longer
story. :)
Well, Adrian has a very mature sense of humor. He likes to share
little snippits from cartoons he's watched that he finds
particularly funny. He also likes to tell more mature jokes and has
a very dry sense of humor. The flip side is that he carries on very
adult conversations and can make nearly anyone pause for thought
with his opinions. He is an interesting kid to converse with. This
is where my question is...how do I teach him tact without squelching
the self-esteem and level of comfort he's established in sharing
converation with others? I want him to feel free to talk about
what's on his mind. BUT, I also want him to learn that some things
just aren't appropriate to talk about with certain people. Not
everyone is going to find his jokes or the scenes from South Park
amusing.
Can anyone share anything with me on this? Has anyone been there,
done that? Do you know of any resources I can utilize? I'm an avid
reader and regular at the library. Any imput is welcome and wanted
as this is new territory for me.
Thanks - Tina
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
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Yahoo! Groups Links
a.. To visit your group on the web, go to:
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[email protected]
c.. Your use of Yahoo! Groups is subject to the Yahoo! Terms of Service.
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Oh, I know exactly where you are coming from! My youngest is only the
youngest of four...but we do run into this quite often. Part of it is that,
as the youngest, he is exposed to things my oldest would never have been
exposed to. On top of that, many of his friends are first-borns....without
exposure to teens...and their parents don't have teens...and then, add to
that our very eclectic group of friends from church to neighbors, to
school-at-home-families, different parenting philosophies....it can be tough
sometimes. He is better now than he used to be...we do a lot of discussing
of the differences in our friends and respecting others' choices....if I
think it will be an issue, I will 'remind' him of what may be unacceptable
to a particular family or group we are going to be interacting with. Ben is
actually pretty sensitive to stuff like this and that helps...I have other
kids less attuned to these things but it was less of an issue when they were
younger (Ben is my only always unschooled child)...and many of our friends
have just learned to shake their heads at us but accept us none the
less....so not sure I have any advice for you...but I understand...
~April
Mom to Kate-18, Lisa-16, Karl-13, & Ben-9.
*REACH Homeschool Grp, an inclusive group in Oakland County
http://www.homeschoolingonashoestring.com/REACH_home.html
* Michigan Unschoolers http://groups.yahoo.com/group/michigan_unschoolers/
*Check out Chuck's art! http://www.artkunst23.com
*Michigan Youth Theater...Acting On Our Dreams...
http://www.michiganyouththeater.org/
"What one knows is, in youth, of little moment; they know enough who know
how to learn."
Henry Brooks Adams (1838-1918)
-----Original Message-----
From: [email protected]
[mailto:[email protected]]On Behalf Of Tina
Sent: Friday, May 20, 2005 2:04 PM
To: [email protected]
Subject: [unschoolingbasics] Unschooling/Parenting Question
Hi, everyone! I'm Tina, unschooling mom to Adrian, 11 years old.
We have been unschooling for a year and a half now. I am SO HAPPY
we discovered unschooling. It has been an extreme pleasure watching
him grow and come "out of his shell" so to speak.
Honestly, I've not had much trouble adjusting in regard
to "schoolish" type subjects "being missed". I know that's not the
case and am very comfortable with our decision to unschool.
Deschooling was a very enjoyable process for the both of us, I do
believe.
However, this is where my concern is lying now. I've no experience
or concrete references in relation to "parenting issues", for lack
of better wording, as it relates to an unschooling lifestyle. Here
is my current concern...
Since we began unschooling Adrian's intersts have been changing.
Normal, I know, and a very positive thing indeed. I do not limit
television or video games or food or anything. He is an excellent
desision maker because of this, I'm sure. PS2 and computer games
are a passion for him, and he absolutely loves Adult Swim cartoons
and South Park. Also, bear in mind that he is number seven, and the
other six are all PS children...out of my control...even longer
story. :)
Well, Adrian has a very mature sense of humor. He likes to share
little snippits from cartoons he's watched that he finds
particularly funny. He also likes to tell more mature jokes and has
a very dry sense of humor. The flip side is that he carries on very
adult conversations and can make nearly anyone pause for thought
with his opinions. He is an interesting kid to converse with. This
is where my question is...how do I teach him tact without squelching
the self-esteem and level of comfort he's established in sharing
converation with others? I want him to feel free to talk about
what's on his mind. BUT, I also want him to learn that some things
just aren't appropriate to talk about with certain people. Not
everyone is going to find his jokes or the scenes from South Park
amusing.
Can anyone share anything with me on this? Has anyone been there,
done that? Do you know of any resources I can utilize? I'm an avid
reader and regular at the library. Any imput is welcome and wanted
as this is new territory for me.
Thanks - Tina
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
--
Yahoo! Groups Links
a.. To visit your group on the web, go to:
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/unschoolingbasics/
b.. To unsubscribe from this group, send an email to:
[email protected]
c.. Your use of Yahoo! Groups is subject to the Yahoo! Terms of Service.
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
[email protected]
-----Original Message----
From: Tina <zoocrew@...>
Well, Adrian has a very mature sense of humor. He likes to share
little snippits from cartoons he's watched that he finds
particularly funny. He also likes to tell more mature jokes and has
a very dry sense of humor. The flip side is that he carries on very
adult conversations and can make nearly anyone pause for thought
with his opinions. He is an interesting kid to converse with. This
is where my question is...how do I teach him tact without squelching
the self-esteem and level of comfort he's established in sharing
converation with others? I want him to feel free to talk about
what's on his mind. BUT, I also want him to learn that some things
just aren't appropriate to talk about with certain people. Not
everyone is going to find his jokes or the scenes from South Park
amusing.
-=-=-=-
Do you talk about that when he's NOT in the presence of those who would
find his conversations offensive?
Like, when watching South Park and Family Guy, we'll mention that Nanny
(grandmother) wouldn't really get that joke or would be offended
watching/hearing it. Blue language is the same: I don't mind their
using rough language---but there's a time and place for it. Around
strangers and grandparents isn't the best place! <g>
~Kelly
From: Tina <zoocrew@...>
Well, Adrian has a very mature sense of humor. He likes to share
little snippits from cartoons he's watched that he finds
particularly funny. He also likes to tell more mature jokes and has
a very dry sense of humor. The flip side is that he carries on very
adult conversations and can make nearly anyone pause for thought
with his opinions. He is an interesting kid to converse with. This
is where my question is...how do I teach him tact without squelching
the self-esteem and level of comfort he's established in sharing
converation with others? I want him to feel free to talk about
what's on his mind. BUT, I also want him to learn that some things
just aren't appropriate to talk about with certain people. Not
everyone is going to find his jokes or the scenes from South Park
amusing.
-=-=-=-
Do you talk about that when he's NOT in the presence of those who would
find his conversations offensive?
Like, when watching South Park and Family Guy, we'll mention that Nanny
(grandmother) wouldn't really get that joke or would be offended
watching/hearing it. Blue language is the same: I don't mind their
using rough language---but there's a time and place for it. Around
strangers and grandparents isn't the best place! <g>
~Kelly
Tina
Kelly
Yes, I do talk to him outside of the situation, and always in
private. I don't even discuss it around our immediate family
members...just him and I. He seems to get it a little better now.
I think he's starting to have an understanding, at least a little
more so, of what's acceptable and what is not.
This has been a long process, and we still have a ways to go. I am
seeimg small changes, though. At least it's a start. :)
I do give polite nudges if I'm concerned that the conversation may
be taking an inappropriate turn like, "Is this something that
Grandma will enjoy?" He's getting better at making the judgement
call, and I'm getting better at communicating with him in the
process.
It's all good...
Tina :)
Yes, I do talk to him outside of the situation, and always in
private. I don't even discuss it around our immediate family
members...just him and I. He seems to get it a little better now.
I think he's starting to have an understanding, at least a little
more so, of what's acceptable and what is not.
This has been a long process, and we still have a ways to go. I am
seeimg small changes, though. At least it's a start. :)
I do give polite nudges if I'm concerned that the conversation may
be taking an inappropriate turn like, "Is this something that
Grandma will enjoy?" He's getting better at making the judgement
call, and I'm getting better at communicating with him in the
process.
It's all good...
Tina :)
--- In [email protected], kbcdlovejo@a... wrote:
>
> -----Original Message----
> From: Tina <zoocrew@w...>
>
>
> Well, Adrian has a very mature sense of humor. He likes to share
> little snippits from cartoons he's watched that he finds
> particularly funny. He also likes to tell more mature jokes and
has
> a very dry sense of humor. The flip side is that he carries on
very
> adult conversations and can make nearly anyone pause for thought
> with his opinions. He is an interesting kid to converse with.
This
> is where my question is...how do I teach him tact without
squelching
> the self-esteem and level of comfort he's established in sharing
> converation with others? I want him to feel free to talk about
> what's on his mind. BUT, I also want him to learn that some things
> just aren't appropriate to talk about with certain people. Not
> everyone is going to find his jokes or the scenes from South Park
> amusing.
>
>
> -=-=-=-
>
> Do you talk about that when he's NOT in the presence of those who
would
> find his conversations offensive?
>
> Like, when watching South Park and Family Guy, we'll mention that
Nanny
> (grandmother) wouldn't really get that joke or would be offended
> watching/hearing it. Blue language is the same: I don't mind their
> using rough language---but there's a time and place for it. Around
> strangers and grandparents isn't the best place! <g>
>
> ~Kelly