Re: [unschoolingbasics] DD copying writing out and self made schedule
Ruth
My dd unschooled very gradually but has reverted to copying writing out on the computer all the time again very recently. She does this from wildlife cards she collects. I am worried she is doing it cos she stressed and tbh don't understand why she feels the need to copy what she is reading and already has in file form. Also I discovered she has made herself a schedule of things she HAS to do each day. ( all in subject headings).This bothers me greatly. I feel like the unschooling experience has not reached her and she has not taken it on. She spents much of the day at loggerheads with her siblings over hogging the computer to copy type ( we have two computers and can't afford another) and refusing to join in their games. I understand she has to do what is best for her but I am worried what she is doing it not really making her happy. I have tried asking her why she feels this need to school type work but she cannot say. Any ideas please?
Ruth
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Ruth
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Robyn Coburn
<<<<My dd unschooled very gradually but has reverted to copying writing out
on the computer all the time again very recently. She does this from
wildlife cards she collects. I am worried she is doing it cos she stressed
and tbh don't understand why she feels the need to copy what she is reading
and already has in file form.>>>>>
Because she is interested in memorizing this information and this copying
helps her to do so???
Are there other clues that lead you to suspect stress? I feel like we have
way too little information or background. Sorry if I missed an earlier post.
I don't know what you mean by "unschooled very gradually". Moved from
schooling to unschooling? Took a long time to deschool? Apparently moves
from one interest to another "slowly"? Something else? Please clarify.
<<<, Also I discovered she has made herself a schedule of things she HAS to
do each day. ( all in subject headings).This bothers me greatly. I feel
like the unschooling experience has not reached her and she has not taken it
on. >>>>>
I guess, given the information others have expressed about the idea of
schedules and structure recently, this is something that some kids really
find contributes to their serenity and security. If she is creating these
for herself, and no-one is forcing her to keep to them, maybe she just
should be supported in this.
Unschooling is not about necessarily abandoning everything that looks
schoolish if the child is genuinely desiring it, but about facilitating the
way our children want to learn.
However your disquiet suggests that something more is going on. Is there
something else, some external pressure that she is trying to escape from
into this busywork? Well I guess this was what you were asking for ideas
about.
How old is she again? I mean is it puberty?
Have you recently moved? Has there been some other large destabilizing
change in your lives?
Are you worried that she has OCD? Anything resembling a diagnosis is
probably beyond the purview of this list, but there is a lot of info about
this on line. If you have alarm bells ringing in your heart, you should
probably heed that intuition and do more research.
Again I think we need more background to be better able to help.
Robyn L. Coburn
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on the computer all the time again very recently. She does this from
wildlife cards she collects. I am worried she is doing it cos she stressed
and tbh don't understand why she feels the need to copy what she is reading
and already has in file form.>>>>>
Because she is interested in memorizing this information and this copying
helps her to do so???
Are there other clues that lead you to suspect stress? I feel like we have
way too little information or background. Sorry if I missed an earlier post.
I don't know what you mean by "unschooled very gradually". Moved from
schooling to unschooling? Took a long time to deschool? Apparently moves
from one interest to another "slowly"? Something else? Please clarify.
<<<, Also I discovered she has made herself a schedule of things she HAS to
do each day. ( all in subject headings).This bothers me greatly. I feel
like the unschooling experience has not reached her and she has not taken it
on. >>>>>
I guess, given the information others have expressed about the idea of
schedules and structure recently, this is something that some kids really
find contributes to their serenity and security. If she is creating these
for herself, and no-one is forcing her to keep to them, maybe she just
should be supported in this.
Unschooling is not about necessarily abandoning everything that looks
schoolish if the child is genuinely desiring it, but about facilitating the
way our children want to learn.
However your disquiet suggests that something more is going on. Is there
something else, some external pressure that she is trying to escape from
into this busywork? Well I guess this was what you were asking for ideas
about.
How old is she again? I mean is it puberty?
Have you recently moved? Has there been some other large destabilizing
change in your lives?
Are you worried that she has OCD? Anything resembling a diagnosis is
probably beyond the purview of this list, but there is a lot of info about
this on line. If you have alarm bells ringing in your heart, you should
probably heed that intuition and do more research.
Again I think we need more background to be better able to help.
Robyn L. Coburn
--
Internal Virus Database is out-of-date.
Checked by AVG Anti-Virus.
Version: 7.0.308 / Virus Database: 266.7.2 - Release Date: 3/11/2005
Ruth
Hi Robyn
I don't think she ever really deschooled tbh. Dd was in school and then came
out 4 years ago. She did things in a very schooly way for a long time but
then gradually stopped and seemed to be very happy to unschool but I think
it was a false situation. She told me today she doesn' t feel she can learn
any other way then copying out, using workbooks and textbooks and following
the National Curriculum but I feel it is cos we had an LEA visit lately
which did not go very well and she feels under pressure to produce results.
She hasn't admitted to this tho if it is true. The LEA visit is immaterial
to how things continue as they have no power to change unschooling as the
law stands now in the UK and I have explained this to her.
We moved here over two years ago and she has friends. I am more than happy
to support any way she wants to learn and for her to continue how she is as
long as this is really what she wants but deep down I don't think she is
very happy. She is nearly 12 and has just hit puberty. For a while she
discussed going back to school with me but decided it was not a good idea in
the end. She is very bright and tbh does not get on with her sisters. Who
she sees as "mess around all day"..They don't but unschooling is beyond her
comprehension I think. I have tried to satisfy her need for an organised
life by paying for an art course for her which she enjoys and has an end
result she seems to crave - ie a qualification. She is quite a solitary
child as regards her learning and is not keen on input from me.
The more I type the more I think it is probably my problem really. I can't
expect all my chldren to want to do things in a similar or same way and I
need to change how I view this. I find rigid structure hard work. I need
to be able to accommmodate her need for this. Unless it is something I am
missing.
Ruth
____________________________________________________________________________
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____________________________________________________________________________
I don't think she ever really deschooled tbh. Dd was in school and then came
out 4 years ago. She did things in a very schooly way for a long time but
then gradually stopped and seemed to be very happy to unschool but I think
it was a false situation. She told me today she doesn' t feel she can learn
any other way then copying out, using workbooks and textbooks and following
the National Curriculum but I feel it is cos we had an LEA visit lately
which did not go very well and she feels under pressure to produce results.
She hasn't admitted to this tho if it is true. The LEA visit is immaterial
to how things continue as they have no power to change unschooling as the
law stands now in the UK and I have explained this to her.
We moved here over two years ago and she has friends. I am more than happy
to support any way she wants to learn and for her to continue how she is as
long as this is really what she wants but deep down I don't think she is
very happy. She is nearly 12 and has just hit puberty. For a while she
discussed going back to school with me but decided it was not a good idea in
the end. She is very bright and tbh does not get on with her sisters. Who
she sees as "mess around all day"..They don't but unschooling is beyond her
comprehension I think. I have tried to satisfy her need for an organised
life by paying for an art course for her which she enjoys and has an end
result she seems to crave - ie a qualification. She is quite a solitary
child as regards her learning and is not keen on input from me.
The more I type the more I think it is probably my problem really. I can't
expect all my chldren to want to do things in a similar or same way and I
need to change how I view this. I find rigid structure hard work. I need
to be able to accommmodate her need for this. Unless it is something I am
missing.
Ruth
____________________________________________________________________________
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____________________________________________________________________________
Lorinda MacKellogg
Ruth,
I am a serious lurker but in this case I may have something valuable to contribute.
I have 2 daughters - 8 and 10. Both of my girls do this periodically, make schedules for their day (sometimes starting at 6AM - which would be impossible to follow since they usually don't go to sleep until after 2AM!) My youngest also copies almost everything she reads and will sit with various books for hours copying (I have a secret wish it may someday improve her spelling!) My children were born at home and have never been to school! I consider this part of their PLAY since I used to play school when I was young too! I wouldn't be too worried about it let her play and explore her world (unless she expects YOU to follow the schedules she writes up!
Hope this helps,
Lorinda
Ruth <grayfamily9@...> wrote:
My dd unschooled very gradually but has reverted to copying writing out on the computer all the time again very recently. She does this from wildlife cards she collects. I am worried she is doing it cos she stressed and tbh don't understand why she feels the need to copy what she is reading and already has in file form. Also I discovered she has made herself a schedule of things she HAS to do each day. ( all in subject headings).This bothers me greatly. I feel like the unschooling experience has not reached her and she has not taken it on. She spents much of the day at loggerheads with her siblings over hogging the computer to copy type ( we have two computers and can't afford another) and refusing to join in their games. I understand she has to do what is best for her but I am worried what she is doing it not really making her happy. I have tried asking her why she feels this need to school type work but she cannot say. Any ideas please?
Ruth
____________________________________________________________________________
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I am a serious lurker but in this case I may have something valuable to contribute.
I have 2 daughters - 8 and 10. Both of my girls do this periodically, make schedules for their day (sometimes starting at 6AM - which would be impossible to follow since they usually don't go to sleep until after 2AM!) My youngest also copies almost everything she reads and will sit with various books for hours copying (I have a secret wish it may someday improve her spelling!) My children were born at home and have never been to school! I consider this part of their PLAY since I used to play school when I was young too! I wouldn't be too worried about it let her play and explore her world (unless she expects YOU to follow the schedules she writes up!
Hope this helps,
Lorinda
Ruth <grayfamily9@...> wrote:
My dd unschooled very gradually but has reverted to copying writing out on the computer all the time again very recently. She does this from wildlife cards she collects. I am worried she is doing it cos she stressed and tbh don't understand why she feels the need to copy what she is reading and already has in file form. Also I discovered she has made herself a schedule of things she HAS to do each day. ( all in subject headings).This bothers me greatly. I feel like the unschooling experience has not reached her and she has not taken it on. She spents much of the day at loggerheads with her siblings over hogging the computer to copy type ( we have two computers and can't afford another) and refusing to join in their games. I understand she has to do what is best for her but I am worried what she is doing it not really making her happy. I have tried asking her why she feels this need to school type work but she cannot say. Any ideas please?
Ruth
____________________________________________________________________________
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Ruth
Hi Lorinda
That is a huge help to me. She doesn't expect me to follow her schedule and I do - or I a m starting to- see this is her way of making sense of things for her. I read too much into it maybe? Worrying she was stressed. She assures me she isn't. I was reminded I used to do the same and I was schooled but didn't want to be lol. I, like her, spent hours of my free time writing projects out on all sorts of subjects.
Ruth
Ruth,
I am a serious lurker but in this case I may have something valuable to contribute.
I have 2 daughters - 8 and 10. Both of my girls do this periodically, make schedules for their day (sometimes starting at 6AM - which would be impossible to follow since they usually don't go to sleep until after 2AM!) My youngest also copies almost everything she reads and will sit with various books for hours copying (I have a secret wish it may someday improve her spelling!) My children were born at home and have never been to school! I consider this part of their PLAY since I used to play school when I was young too! I wouldn't be too worried about it let her play and explore her world (unless she expects YOU to follow the schedules she writes up!
Hope this helps,
Lorinda
Ruth <grayfamily9@...> wrote:
My dd unschooled very gradually but has reverted to copying writing out on the computer all the time again very recently. She does this from wildlife cards she collects. I am worried she is doing it cos she stressed and tbh don't understand why she feels the need to copy what she is reading and already has in file form. Also I discovered she has made herself a schedule of things she HAS to do each day. ( all in subject headings).This bothers me greatly. I feel like the unschooling experience has not reached her and she has not taken it on. She spents much of the day at loggerheads with her siblings over hogging the computer to copy type ( we have two computers and can't afford another) and refusing to join in their games. I understand she has to do what is best for her but I am worried what she is doing it not really making her happy. I have tried asking her why she feels this need to school type work but she cannot say. Any ideas please?
Ruth
____________________________________________________________________________
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That is a huge help to me. She doesn't expect me to follow her schedule and I do - or I a m starting to- see this is her way of making sense of things for her. I read too much into it maybe? Worrying she was stressed. She assures me she isn't. I was reminded I used to do the same and I was schooled but didn't want to be lol. I, like her, spent hours of my free time writing projects out on all sorts of subjects.
Ruth
Ruth,
I am a serious lurker but in this case I may have something valuable to contribute.
I have 2 daughters - 8 and 10. Both of my girls do this periodically, make schedules for their day (sometimes starting at 6AM - which would be impossible to follow since they usually don't go to sleep until after 2AM!) My youngest also copies almost everything she reads and will sit with various books for hours copying (I have a secret wish it may someday improve her spelling!) My children were born at home and have never been to school! I consider this part of their PLAY since I used to play school when I was young too! I wouldn't be too worried about it let her play and explore her world (unless she expects YOU to follow the schedules she writes up!
Hope this helps,
Lorinda
Ruth <grayfamily9@...> wrote:
My dd unschooled very gradually but has reverted to copying writing out on the computer all the time again very recently. She does this from wildlife cards she collects. I am worried she is doing it cos she stressed and tbh don't understand why she feels the need to copy what she is reading and already has in file form. Also I discovered she has made herself a schedule of things she HAS to do each day. ( all in subject headings).This bothers me greatly. I feel like the unschooling experience has not reached her and she has not taken it on. She spents much of the day at loggerheads with her siblings over hogging the computer to copy type ( we have two computers and can't afford another) and refusing to join in their games. I understand she has to do what is best for her but I am worried what she is doing it not really making her happy. I have tried asking her why she feels this need to school type work but she cannot say. Any ideas please?
Ruth
____________________________________________________________________________
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Pam Sorooshian
On Mar 18, 2005, at 7:49 AM, Ruth wrote:
I'm thinking she ought to be reading "The Teenage Liberation Handbook"
about now. See how she responds to it.
-pam
> She is nearly 12 and has just hit puberty. For a while sheMaybe that's the problem? You think she can't "get it?"
> discussed going back to school with me but decided it was not a good
> idea in
> the end. She is very bright and tbh does not get on with her sisters.
> Who
> she sees as "mess around all day"..They don't but unschooling is
> beyond her
> comprehension I think.
I'm thinking she ought to be reading "The Teenage Liberation Handbook"
about now. See how she responds to it.
-pam
Ruth
Hi Pam
I'm thinking she ought to be reading "The Teenage Liberation Handbook"
about now. See how she responds to it.
Great idea.
I will get it for her and see what she thinks.
Ruth
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I'm thinking she ought to be reading "The Teenage Liberation Handbook"
about now. See how she responds to it.
Great idea.
I will get it for her and see what she thinks.
Ruth
____________________________________________________________________________
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julie w
Ruth wrote:
is a little chaotic, I make schedules and lists so I can mark things
off. It makes me feel more secure.
--
Julie W
http://jwoolfolk.typepad.com/theothermother/
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> She is nearly 12 and has just hit puberty......From my own personal view, when I'm stressed or it seems like my life
>
>The more I type the more I think it is probably my problem really. I can't
>expect all my chldren to want to do things in a similar or same way and I
>need to change how I view this. I find rigid structure hard work. I need
>to be able to accommmodate her need for this. Unless it is something I am
>missing.
>
>Ruth
>
is a little chaotic, I make schedules and lists so I can mark things
off. It makes me feel more secure.
--
Julie W
http://jwoolfolk.typepad.com/theothermother/
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Cheyenne Cain
I never realized how much my dd craved "schedules" until today;
a friend of mine was supposed to come over and dd was uspset with this because she feels very left out of the conversations. I told her she was more then welcome to participate in almost all conversations that I have with other people. She said that we were too boring and didn't talk about anything important. When I inquired about what would qualify as important topics of conversation, her answer was planning your schedule for the day.
cheyenne
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a friend of mine was supposed to come over and dd was uspset with this because she feels very left out of the conversations. I told her she was more then welcome to participate in almost all conversations that I have with other people. She said that we were too boring and didn't talk about anything important. When I inquired about what would qualify as important topics of conversation, her answer was planning your schedule for the day.
cheyenne
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