Cheyenne Cain

Is it eating together or connecting together at the
dinner table that your looking for. I would assume
connecting so maybe the next time they are hungry
before dinner, fed them and when you are ready for
"dinner" offer them something to color, a small
puzzle to work, or a container of play-do to roll
around while at the dinner table while you and dh talk
about your day. I wouldn't worry about them not paying
attention, my dd may appear to be absorbed in her
coloring or whatever but generally I find she is
listening to and participating in the conversation
going on around her.



Good luck Judy

PS Has anyone metioned the Unschooling Conference to
you yet? It might be really good for you if you can
attend.




__________________________________
Do you Yahoo!?
Yahoo! Mail - Helps protect you from nasty viruses.
http://promotions.yahoo.com/new_mail

Judy Anderson

My main goal at dinner time is to feed them nutritious food. Unfortunately,
the best food takes time to prepare and I don't want to just give them a
"quick fix" and then have them not be hungry and not get the nutritious
food. I understand this fear may not be well founded, but it is my concern.
I did read about an experiment done with a bunch of three-year-olds. They
were allowed to choose whatever foods they wanted from a pretty broad buffet
and they found that the children who had not yet been indoctrinated ate the
things that their bodies needed. One example they gave was a child with
rickets who took CLO all on his own until he was cured. I *know* that this
can work, I just need time and a little bit of personal success to *believe*
it. Until I truly believe it, my fears will rear their ugly heads and tell
me it won't work.

I think I saw some mention of it somewhere. I bemoaned the fact that I
didn't know about it last year when it was in Fitchburg, MA, which is less
than an hour from me.

Judy
-----Original Message-----
From: Cheyenne Cain [mailto:cherokeecain@...]
Sent: Tuesday, March 15, 2005 10:57 AM
To: [email protected]
Subject: [unschoolingbasics] mealtime play?


Is it eating together or connecting together at the
dinner table that your looking for. I would assume
connecting so maybe the next time they are hungry
before dinner, fed them and when you are ready for
"dinner" offer them something to color, a small
puzzle to work, or a container of play-do to roll
around while at the dinner table while you and dh talk
about your day. I wouldn't worry about them not paying
attention, my dd may appear to be absorbed in her
coloring or whatever but generally I find she is
listening to and participating in the conversation
going on around her.



Good luck Judy

PS Has anyone metioned the Unschooling Conference to
you yet? It might be really good for you if you can
attend.


[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Pam Sorooshian

On Mar 15, 2005, at 8:11 AM, Judy Anderson wrote:

> My main goal at dinner time is to feed them nutritious food.
> Unfortunately,
> the best food takes time to prepare and I don't want to just give them
> a
> "quick fix" and then have them not be hungry and not get the nutritious
> food.

Uh, Judy, this is just utterly false.

The "best" food can be raw food that takes seconds to wash and maybe
slice up into bite-sized portions or things that are already ready or
quick to prepare.

Give them a "quick fix" of:

string cheese, whole wheat crackers, apple slices, carrots and dip
(healthy dip), raisins, peeled tangerine sections, a bowl of healthy
canned soup, cottage cheese and pineapple, celery and peanut butter,
pear slices with some cinnamon sprinkled on top, a piece of chicken
leftover from dinner, a bowl of cereal with chopped fruit, a handful of
nuts, a bowl of frozen grapes, a bowl of frozen peas heated up in the
microwave, sliced avocado and crackers, a cup of hot chicken broth with
an egg dropped into it and stirred around, a hard-boiled egg, and on
and on and on.

I think you're overly vested in your time-consuming dinner preparations.

I'm wondering - by the time you've spent your early evening preparing
dinner, then you all eat it, then you clean up from it, then you
immediately start your bedtime routines --- when does the whole family
hang out and play games and talk and build things and watch movies and
listen to music and so on?

-pam

scrapgal

--- In [email protected], "Judy Anderson"
<temair@a...> wrote:
> My main goal at dinner time is to feed them nutritious food.
Unfortunately,
> the best food takes time to prepare and I don't want to just give
them a
> "quick fix" and then have them not be hungry and not get the
nutritious
> food.

(Devil's Advocate): Who is to say that the food that they eat
before a meal isn't nutritious and filling the need that their
bodies have at that moment?

Michelle

Judy Anderson

Like I said, I have several areas I can improve on. :) We mostly do family
stuff on the weekends, but overall we don't live a very exciting life. I'm
trying to get off my butt and do more stuff with them.

Judy
-----Original Message-----
From: Pam Sorooshian [mailto:pamsoroosh@...]
Sent: Tuesday, March 15, 2005 11:30 AM
To: [email protected]
Subject: Re: [unschoolingbasics] mealtime play?



I'm wondering - by the time you've spent your early evening preparing
dinner, then you all eat it, then you clean up from it, then you
immediately start your bedtime routines --- when does the whole family
hang out and play games and talk and build things and watch movies and
listen to music and so on?

-pam


[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Judy Anderson

So it is okay if I control what food comes in the house? I try to have a
broad variety of snacks available, but I have done a lot of research into
nutrition and there are some things I won't allow in the house very often.
Of course, now that I think about it, I do want more of the foods that I
have proscribed, like sugar loaded cookies.

Judy
-----Original Message-----
From: scrapgal [mailto:pamperedmichelle@...]
Sent: Tuesday, March 15, 2005 12:08 PM
To: [email protected]
Subject: [unschoolingbasics] Re: mealtime play?



--- In [email protected], "Judy Anderson"
<temair@a...> wrote:
> My main goal at dinner time is to feed them nutritious food.
Unfortunately,
> the best food takes time to prepare and I don't want to just give
them a
> "quick fix" and then have them not be hungry and not get the
nutritious
> food.

(Devil's Advocate): Who is to say that the food that they eat
before a meal isn't nutritious and filling the need that their
bodies have at that moment?

Michelle




Yahoo! Groups Sponsor
ADVERTISEMENT





----------------------------------------------------------------------------
--
Yahoo! Groups Links

a.. To visit your group on the web, go to:
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/unschoolingbasics/

b.. To unsubscribe from this group, send an email to:
[email protected]

c.. Your use of Yahoo! Groups is subject to the Yahoo! Terms of Service.



[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

scrapgal

--- In [email protected], "Judy Anderson"
<temair@a...> wrote:
> So it is okay if I control what food comes in the house? I try to
have a
> broad variety of snacks available, but I have done a lot of
research into
> nutrition and there are some things I won't allow in the house
very often.

I don't take my kids shopping often (this is my "me time") but when
I do I am always asked for something that I don't "approve" of. But
it is my mother's voice in my head saying, "That isn't good for
you. That's fattening. That's got lots of chemicals and
additives. etc" (I grew up in a fairly hippie household where my
mom used to make our own granola and we went for an entire year
eating nothing but chicken for our meat at dinner.) So I am
regularly asked for Reese's, cookies, chips, ice cream, etc. But
what I notice is that my kids will eat those foods for a few days
and then will want, no crave, something that is more nutritious -
something that their bodies are needing.

Interestingly, my kids each has a "whacky" snack choice. My oldest
loves frozen peas (right out of the freezer, no thawing, no
cooking). My middle child prefers pickles and sour cream and onion
baked chips. And my son likes apples. Any kind of apple. Granny
Smiths are about his favorite! Those are the snack foods I know I
can't come home without. If I forget cookies, big whoop. I can
always make cookies (which they prefer) but forget frozen peas or
apples and I am up a creek!

You may have a while where your kids seem to only eat "junky" foods,
but you will also be surprised to see that they are eating much more
nutritiously than you would have thought on their own!

Michelle

soggyboysmom

LOL - I agree, there are just some things that you can't go home
without. DS comes with me to do the shopping - saves me all the
bending and lifting! He's so proud of his almost-7 yr old muscles -
they can life 5 lb sacks of sugar, flour, potatoes and can carry 2
full gallons of milk from the car to the kitchen. I remember one
time within the last year, I slowed as we passed the snack cake
section since he had been requesting them for weeks and weeks (and
we'd get them then they went on sale and I bought 5 boxes at once).
I asked if he wanted anything and he said Yes - where's the cottage
cheese? Without those tapes running in his head, he eats freely,
without any emotional connotations or baggage. One day he may eat
cookies or poptarts and the next consume an entire small melon over
the course of the day. Some days it's lots of proteins and other
times its all veggies or fruits. We talk about nutrition and he asks
what different things do - what do carbohydrates do? what does
protein do? etc. DH is hypertensive (part lifestyle part genetics)
so we look for sodium content consistently - DS has been known to
put something back if the sodium number is too high. And, given free
choice at the mini-mart, he chose a bottle of water the other night.
Since he has no neediness for sodas, or sweets, or whatever, he can
just leave them if that's not what he wants. I'm waiting to see how
long the candy he gets from MIL for Easter lasts. Halloween candy
usually lingers until Christmas (if DH or I don't poach).

soggyboysmom

--- In [email protected], "Judy Anderson"
<temair@a...> wrote:
> My main goal at dinner time is to feed them nutritious food.
>Unfortunately,
> the best food takes time to prepare and I don't want to just give
>them a
> "quick fix" and then have them not be hungry and not get the
>nutritious
> food.

What we've done at times when this seemed to be a pattern DS was
going through, was prepare the salad ahead so he could "snack" on
that or sliced fruit or cheese or whatever - basically make it a
multi-course meal. He could eat when he needed to, might or might
not eat dinner, but the "quick fix" was also good nutritious food.
Especially in summer, we keep chunks of melon handy in the fridge,
little grape tomatoes that are just kid size, etc.

Something else, too, is that since he was an infant, he's had
something akin to a 36 hour "day". He'd eat a lot between waking and
noon one day, between noon and 4 or 5 the next day, and between 5ish
and 9 the third day, then a day that was lightly distributed all day
(looked like a "normal" day) then back to am, afternoon, pm, break.
His energy levels often follow the same pattern - some days he's up
and at it, other days he sleeps in and he's raring to go at 9 pm,
and so on. We don't have any of the imposed structures of the
schooled world so, barring appointments, his natural rhythms don't
need to be squashed into the 3 square meals and early to bed pattern.

[email protected]

In a message dated 3/15/2005 2:50:49 P.M. Eastern Standard Time,
debra.rossing@... writes:

My main goal at dinner time is to feed them nutritious food.
>Unfortunately,
> the best food takes time to prepare and I don't want to just give
>them a
> "quick fix" and then have them not be hungry and not get the
>nutritious
> food.



*****

You've gotten some good answers. I also might say "we are going to eat
dinner in a few minutes, would you still like to eat something or do you want to
wait for dinner?"

They are free to answer any way they like because I will honor the choice.

In a more specific example, my child asks for ice cream right before dinner.
I said "dinner is going to be ready in ten minutes, would you like to eat
some dinner with protein first and then have your ice cream?"

You are giving them information and still giving a choice.

Leslie in SC


[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

mamaaj2000

--- In [email protected], "Judy Anderson"
<temair@a...> wrote:
> So it is okay if I control what food comes in the house? I try to
have a
> broad variety of snacks available, but I have done a lot of
research into
> nutrition and there are some things I won't allow in the house very
often.

Judy,

I think it's more about control than about the foods themselves. If
you go shopping alone and they don't ask for anything in particular,
then you'll probably buy a great variety of foods. If they go with
you and ask for a bag of cookies, you can say yes and *over time* as
they see then can have them whenever they want, they'll be listening
to their bodies, not trying to get all the cookies they can before
Mom stops them!

If they like cookies and you're uncomfortable with buying bags of
highly processed ones, you can head right for the bakery section and
get them each a cookie to eat whie walking around the store! It may
satisfy their cookie craving in a way that you are okay with--or it
may not...that's the thing about strewing: the kids may or may not go
along with your ideas, but you can certainly put them out there.

In the learning from others' mistakes department, here's what we've
been doing that is NOT going so well...

I've let go of almost all food controls. Dh does the grocery shopping
and buys TONS of sugary products. He and the kids really have sweet
teeth--they love fruit and any form of sugar. I try to put lots of
fruits in front of them, but with so many choices of sugrary foods,
they do eat a lot. Then dh is frustrated at what they are eating and
starts saying "no candy until you eat something healthy." So then
they feel controled and want more sugar just to win the power
struggle with him!

I finally got him to skip all the sugary snacks this weekend (we
still have plenty in the house!), but then he went to the convenience
store twice with one or both kids and bought candy, ice cream and
Easter candy.

Last night the kids hardly ate anything at dinner, so I mentioned to
dh that they would most likely be hungry in a couple hours. I knew
that if they said they were hungry to him at 8pm, he'd think "it's
dessert time" and only offer desserts. I knew they hadn't had a lot
of protein, fruit or veggies, so I wanted to make sure to offer those-
-probably by making a platter of carrots, popsicle peas (yep, also a
favorite here), an apple, cheese, etc. But I was on the phone...and
he gave them Jello only. Not a big deal once, but it's just
frustrating over time.

Okay, I hijacked!

--aj

Angela S

<<<I'm waiting to see how
long the candy he gets from MIL for Easter lasts. Halloween candy
usually lingers until Christmas (if DH or I don't poach).>>>



LOL! I was just thinking of throwing out my 10 yo's Halloween candy. It's
hanging in a bag in the pantry. She never eats much of it. Her 8 yo sister
does eat most of hers eventally, but it's does take her a couple of weeks to
get through it. Grampa and Grammy just sent the girls solid chocolate
Easter bunnies about a week ago. The 10 yo's is still in the box and the 8
yo has been doling herself out bits and pieces here and there. Hers is
almost gone but it has been a week.




Angela

game-enthusiast@....



[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

soggyboysmom

LOL could you even conceive, when you were a child, of actually
*throwing out* any of your Halloween (or Christmas or Easter) candy?
I know I didn't (except maybe the black jelly beans). You ate it,
traded it, whatever but to throw it out - never! I'm learning an
awful lot from DS about just eating what your body is wanting when
it wants it and in the quantity it wants then stopping.