Ren Allen

"They have a set bedtime, we eat meals and
snacks at predictable times, and DH takes over the TV at the same
time every
day. I call that a daily order, some might call it structure."

I call it control. (well, maybe...I'd need more information first)
Now eating meals at predictable times might just be a natural rhythm
in your family, but we've found that we all get hungry at different
times and have different needs for food intake. So there are
predictable times that I'm fixing food throughout the day, but we
all might not be hungry at that moment. And someone is always
needing a snack when I'm not fixing food, so I help them find
something.
We have some predictability, yes. But it's not decided by the adults
in the home. It's simply a natural flow of everyone getting their
needs met.

There are set times that people are USUALLY tired around here, but
it varies a lot. I don't decide a bedtime for anyone but myself. My
two younger children go to bed when I do, so that's pretty
predictable.
I don't have an arbitrary time I put people to bed though. We sleep
when we get tired.

My older boys usually stay up later than anyone, but last night they
were asleep (with a friend spending the night) by 9:30pm!! Highly
unusual. They had played paintball all day though, so they were
exhausted. If I had a set bedtime, I guarantee you they'd be staying
up until that set time and ignoring the needs of their body.
They have no fascination with staying up late though, so going to
bed early just made sense last night.

I hope you find the list a useful place to question just how parents
are able to give children these choices without having chaos in
their homes, how unschooling unfolds better in these conditions and
how people arrived at these various places in their journey to
unschooling.:)

Welcome.

Ren