Re: demanding structure
[email protected]
-=-=-=->What might "demanding structure" look like for a child who had never been to school?
Here, it looked like an 11 year old who wanted me to make report cards and administer tests. -=-=-=-
That's not structure though. That's a piece of paper and couple of questions.
The structure most people talk about is math at 9:00 and history at 10:00. Regular handwriting practice and grammar lessons. Thirty minutes per day spent reading and/or writing.
Duncan has asked for pages of math on paper. That's not structure. That's math on paper! <wg> Structure might look like a child who asks for an hour of a subject each day. I seriously doubt that would happen with an always unschooled kid.
Even when Cameron was sitting in on a college class, the only "structure" part of it was showing up on Tuesdays and Thursdays for class! The rest was spent playing with and discussion the concepts (with me), reading the material, writing the papers, and participating in class.
Some structure is expected when taking a karate class or horseback lessons or being on a baseball team. But structured learning?
Maybe the original poster could elaborate?
~Kelly
Here, it looked like an 11 year old who wanted me to make report cards and administer tests. -=-=-=-
That's not structure though. That's a piece of paper and couple of questions.
The structure most people talk about is math at 9:00 and history at 10:00. Regular handwriting practice and grammar lessons. Thirty minutes per day spent reading and/or writing.
Duncan has asked for pages of math on paper. That's not structure. That's math on paper! <wg> Structure might look like a child who asks for an hour of a subject each day. I seriously doubt that would happen with an always unschooled kid.
Even when Cameron was sitting in on a college class, the only "structure" part of it was showing up on Tuesdays and Thursdays for class! The rest was spent playing with and discussion the concepts (with me), reading the material, writing the papers, and participating in class.
Some structure is expected when taking a karate class or horseback lessons or being on a baseball team. But structured learning?
Maybe the original poster could elaborate?
~Kelly
Rodney and Rebecca Atherton
>Maybe the original poster could elaborate?Was I the original poster? ::sweats::
I didn't word my post carefully. I was typing really fast!
If we are talking about where I said: "Unschooling is NOT avoiding books or
structure, some children demand structure. If a child wants to use
workbooks, letting them is Unschooling." I am sure we could think of better
ways to word that so that everyone could have a clear picture.
Rebecca
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Too often we give children answers to remember rather than problems to
solve. -Roger Lewin
Robyn Coburn
<<<<<< Was I the original poster? ::sweats::
I didn't word my post carefully. I was typing really fast!
If we are talking about where I said: "Unschooling is NOT avoiding books or
structure, some children demand structure. If a child wants to use
workbooks, letting them is Unschooling." I am sure we could think of better
ways to word that so that everyone could have a clear picture. >>>>
*I'm* the original poster of the question of what does "demanding structure"
look like. The prior post was just an opportunity to ask the question of
everyone that has been nagging at me for a while every time someone posts
about it.
Using workbooks is not the same as asking for structure. Asking for any of
the myriad of tools around from books, to maps, to art supplies, to computer
games, to museum visits, to garden tools, to microscopes, etc, is not what I
would call "demanding structure". I think of structure as being more
intangible than a bunch of tools or objects. I think it relates to time
management and planning and scheduling, and maybe order and expectations,
and possibly having someone other than the learner take responsibility for
how the learner engages in these actions (of time management and so on).
People often say the phrase "Some kids demand/need/want/ask for structure".
I want to know what that looks like when they ask (maybe I have been missing
something with Jayn). I want to know if it is relevant to children who have
never been in the time proscribed atmosphere of school or school-at-home. I
want to know what people mean when they say "structure".
Robyn L. Coburn
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I didn't word my post carefully. I was typing really fast!
If we are talking about where I said: "Unschooling is NOT avoiding books or
structure, some children demand structure. If a child wants to use
workbooks, letting them is Unschooling." I am sure we could think of better
ways to word that so that everyone could have a clear picture. >>>>
*I'm* the original poster of the question of what does "demanding structure"
look like. The prior post was just an opportunity to ask the question of
everyone that has been nagging at me for a while every time someone posts
about it.
Using workbooks is not the same as asking for structure. Asking for any of
the myriad of tools around from books, to maps, to art supplies, to computer
games, to museum visits, to garden tools, to microscopes, etc, is not what I
would call "demanding structure". I think of structure as being more
intangible than a bunch of tools or objects. I think it relates to time
management and planning and scheduling, and maybe order and expectations,
and possibly having someone other than the learner take responsibility for
how the learner engages in these actions (of time management and so on).
People often say the phrase "Some kids demand/need/want/ask for structure".
I want to know what that looks like when they ask (maybe I have been missing
something with Jayn). I want to know if it is relevant to children who have
never been in the time proscribed atmosphere of school or school-at-home. I
want to know what people mean when they say "structure".
Robyn L. Coburn
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Rodney and Rebecca Atherton
>I want to know what people mean when they say "structure".I want to be the original poster, darn it. ::giggle::
I thought your post was a response to my post where I typed "demanding
structure" instead of "demanding schooly things." My wording wasn't clear,
I've learned. The chance to have my wording made clearer is a wonderful
opportunity! I thank you all so much.
Thanks for making me think about the wording and meaning of what I type and
for helping me make more sense.
I look forward to doing it more!
Rebecca
Aim/AOL: Rebeccawow
MSN: wow_academy@...
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http://www.checin.org (Crossroads Home Educated Children)
Too often we give children answers to remember rather than problems to
solve. -Roger Lewin
Ren Allen
"What might "demanding structure" look like for a child who had
never been to school? "
With Sierra, it comes in the form of a desire to make lists of the
days plans, know what time things are going to happen, write things
out on the calender, plan meals etc...
She adores some structure. She also enjoys a lot of freedom to use
the structure in HER way.:) She's very independent.
I wonder about the child that wants report cards and tests. Is this
a child that has been to school? Because it would really matter in
how I responded to that child.
I guess the "why" is really important here.
Because if Sierra wanted this, I would know it was a game...an idea
she got from school friends and it wouldn't mean anything
significant in how she viewed her capabilities.
But if this was a schooled child, I would want to make sure they
didn't feel they were needing this judgement in their lives as a
measurement tool. The motivation matters a lot to me.
Unschooled kids often pull in schoolish looking things out of
curiosity. Their schooled friends do it, so they're interested. In
that case, it can just be another thing to learn about, another
thing to play with. But for a schooled child, there might still be
some level of mind control leftover from school. I'd want to make
sure they were healed from that.
Ren
never been to school? "
With Sierra, it comes in the form of a desire to make lists of the
days plans, know what time things are going to happen, write things
out on the calender, plan meals etc...
She adores some structure. She also enjoys a lot of freedom to use
the structure in HER way.:) She's very independent.
I wonder about the child that wants report cards and tests. Is this
a child that has been to school? Because it would really matter in
how I responded to that child.
I guess the "why" is really important here.
Because if Sierra wanted this, I would know it was a game...an idea
she got from school friends and it wouldn't mean anything
significant in how she viewed her capabilities.
But if this was a schooled child, I would want to make sure they
didn't feel they were needing this judgement in their lives as a
measurement tool. The motivation matters a lot to me.
Unschooled kids often pull in schoolish looking things out of
curiosity. Their schooled friends do it, so they're interested. In
that case, it can just be another thing to learn about, another
thing to play with. But for a schooled child, there might still be
some level of mind control leftover from school. I'd want to make
sure they were healed from that.
Ren
scrapgal
--- In [email protected], "Ren Allen"
<starsuncloud@n...> wrote:
kids who get report cards can get free donuts from Krispy Kreme!
LOL!! It doesn't matter if I say, "If you want donuts we will go
buy donuts." It is the "getting them free" thing that ticks my kids
off. I've thought a time or two about making up a report card for
them but not sure what Krispy Kreme would think of subjects
like "Creativity" "Imagination" "Exploration" and "Free-thought
processing" and them getting all A's in those subjects ROFL!!
Michelle
<starsuncloud@n...> wrote:
>this
> I wonder about the child that wants report cards and tests. Is
> a child that has been to school? Because it would really matter inMy kids want report cards because they don't think it is fair that
> how I responded to that child.
> I guess the "why" is really important here.
kids who get report cards can get free donuts from Krispy Kreme!
LOL!! It doesn't matter if I say, "If you want donuts we will go
buy donuts." It is the "getting them free" thing that ticks my kids
off. I've thought a time or two about making up a report card for
them but not sure what Krispy Kreme would think of subjects
like "Creativity" "Imagination" "Exploration" and "Free-thought
processing" and them getting all A's in those subjects ROFL!!
Michelle
Judy Anderson
Hi,
I heard about this list from Unschoolingdiscussion and thought it might be a
better place for me to start. My name is Judy and I have four girls, ages 1
through 8. We all ive in NH. My oldest lives with her father, but the
other three are here with me. My 5 yo is in kindergarten this year and my
third will start preschool in April when she turns three. I was
homeschooled for 6 years when I was young and want to do the same for my
children and the idea of unschooling really appeals to me. I am seriously
considering beginning when school lets out this year because I know Moira
enjoys going to school and seeing her friends. Kindergarten doesn't place
many academic expectations on a child, so I don't think it will take long to
deschool her.
As far as report cards go, maybe you could speak to the manager at Krispy
Kreme and explain what you do and ask what he would accept as a report card.
My kids do have some structure to their lives. I don't believe that anyone
can live a life devoid of order. They have a set bedtime, we eat meals and
snacks at predictable times, and DH takes over the TV at the same time every
day. I call that a daily order, some might call it structure.
Judy
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
I heard about this list from Unschoolingdiscussion and thought it might be a
better place for me to start. My name is Judy and I have four girls, ages 1
through 8. We all ive in NH. My oldest lives with her father, but the
other three are here with me. My 5 yo is in kindergarten this year and my
third will start preschool in April when she turns three. I was
homeschooled for 6 years when I was young and want to do the same for my
children and the idea of unschooling really appeals to me. I am seriously
considering beginning when school lets out this year because I know Moira
enjoys going to school and seeing her friends. Kindergarten doesn't place
many academic expectations on a child, so I don't think it will take long to
deschool her.
As far as report cards go, maybe you could speak to the manager at Krispy
Kreme and explain what you do and ask what he would accept as a report card.
My kids do have some structure to their lives. I don't believe that anyone
can live a life devoid of order. They have a set bedtime, we eat meals and
snacks at predictable times, and DH takes over the TV at the same time every
day. I call that a daily order, some might call it structure.
Judy
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Angela S
<<<My kids want report cards because they don't think it is fair that
kids who get report cards can get free donuts from Krispy Kreme >>>
Maybe you could buy gift certificates from Kristy Kreme, unbeknownst to
them, and give them to them because they are star unschoolers one day. :-)
It might be kind of like getting something free. <just an off the wall
idea>
Angela
game-enthusiast@...
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
kids who get report cards can get free donuts from Krispy Kreme >>>
Maybe you could buy gift certificates from Kristy Kreme, unbeknownst to
them, and give them to them because they are star unschoolers one day. :-)
It might be kind of like getting something free. <just an off the wall
idea>
Angela
game-enthusiast@...
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
TreeGoddess
On Mar 12, 2005, at 12:06 PM, Judy Anderson wrote:
-=-My kids do have some structure to their lives. I don't believe
that anyone can live a life devoid of order. They have a set bedtime,
we eat meals and snacks at predictable times, and DH takes over
the TV at the same time every day. I call that a daily order, some
might call it structure.-=-
Well, I don't think that "a life devoid of order" is anyone's goal
here. You can't escape it anyway being that we're Earth-bound
creatures (setting/rising sun, moon tides, seasons, etc.). ;)
However, everything that you just listed after that statement are
things that are missing from our home. We eat when hungry, go to bed
when tired and watch TV when the mood strikes. We don't watch the
clock to do those things, but follow our body's signals instead.
Welcome to the list,
-Tracy-
"Peace *will* enter your life, but you
need to clear a spot for her to sit down."
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Robyn Coburn
I want to thank folks for the replies thus far, it is helping me to
understand this. Just to clarify my question further (and most people *were*
answering it) I find I am less curious to know what "structure" looked like
in anyone's home; I am more curious to learn how the children are
*communicating* their need/desire for structure - how the children define
structure rather than the parents (I have plenty of residual school-think in
my definition of what structure might look like).
So to paraphrase the replies, please correct me if I am wrong:
It seems to be a combination of the individual children *asking questions*
about the immediate upcoming day(s) and joining in the planning - wanting to
either be informed and/or make notes somehow of the planned and expected
activities, to the point where in some cases surprises and changes are
viewed negatively - and *behavioral cues* observed over time by the parents
such as needing extra time to transition from one activity to another, and
becoming distressed in varying degrees by spontaneous changes to the plan.
It is not necessarily an overarching schedule that requires absolute routine
and sameness every day - I mean the kids generally aren't requesting this.
The room for extemporaneous action evidently varies depending on
personality.
Perhaps we would be more accurate to say that some children "need/enjoy more
advance planning to feel secure" than simply say "demand structure".
Robyn L. Coburn
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understand this. Just to clarify my question further (and most people *were*
answering it) I find I am less curious to know what "structure" looked like
in anyone's home; I am more curious to learn how the children are
*communicating* their need/desire for structure - how the children define
structure rather than the parents (I have plenty of residual school-think in
my definition of what structure might look like).
So to paraphrase the replies, please correct me if I am wrong:
It seems to be a combination of the individual children *asking questions*
about the immediate upcoming day(s) and joining in the planning - wanting to
either be informed and/or make notes somehow of the planned and expected
activities, to the point where in some cases surprises and changes are
viewed negatively - and *behavioral cues* observed over time by the parents
such as needing extra time to transition from one activity to another, and
becoming distressed in varying degrees by spontaneous changes to the plan.
It is not necessarily an overarching schedule that requires absolute routine
and sameness every day - I mean the kids generally aren't requesting this.
The room for extemporaneous action evidently varies depending on
personality.
Perhaps we would be more accurate to say that some children "need/enjoy more
advance planning to feel secure" than simply say "demand structure".
Robyn L. Coburn
--
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Checked by AVG Anti-Virus.
Version: 7.0.308 / Virus Database: 266.6.4 - Release Date: 3/7/2005
Ren Allen
"I am more curious to learn how the children are
*communicating* their need/desire for structure - how the children
define
structure rather than the parents "
I'm not sure I answered that very thoroughly.
With Sierra, she asks me what time it is, what date it is and wants
to write things on the calender. Then she wants to write out times
and make lists of what we will do at those times. She asks me to set
a time for her to do "school" and sits down to do workbooks (yuck,
ptooey!!);)
She wants to make lists of what we will buy at the store, when we
will go etc...
She adores structure. Structure is not a dirty word to me though, it
just means an outline, a framework. We have loads of freedom within
her framework (thank goodness...she's not overly stressed by changes
to the structure).
I'm so freefloating, I frustrate her sometimes. It's a challenge to
try and help her with structure when I adore freedom to fly by the
seat of my pants!!:)
Ren
*communicating* their need/desire for structure - how the children
define
structure rather than the parents "
I'm not sure I answered that very thoroughly.
With Sierra, she asks me what time it is, what date it is and wants
to write things on the calender. Then she wants to write out times
and make lists of what we will do at those times. She asks me to set
a time for her to do "school" and sits down to do workbooks (yuck,
ptooey!!);)
She wants to make lists of what we will buy at the store, when we
will go etc...
She adores structure. Structure is not a dirty word to me though, it
just means an outline, a framework. We have loads of freedom within
her framework (thank goodness...she's not overly stressed by changes
to the structure).
I'm so freefloating, I frustrate her sometimes. It's a challenge to
try and help her with structure when I adore freedom to fly by the
seat of my pants!!:)
Ren
Rodney and Rebecca Atherton
>I'm so freefloating, I frustrate her sometimes. It's a challenge to try andMe too. My son, though he didn't demand times for his 'courses', would pick
>help her with structure when I adore freedom to fly by the seat of my
>pants!!:)
out what subjects he wanted to learn. Lists are a big thing to him - not to
me. Though his list would change throughout the year, he still wanted a
list of subjects that he could learn for "school." One year, he got on the
computer and looked up curriculum to use! I bought a Power Glide French
course for him and I always have to buy Math workbooks. That's what he
enjoys.
He is trying out public school for the first time in his life this year. He
went from waking up at 10:00 or later, all his life, to waking up at 5:00am
to play two hours of Diablo II before his carpool arrived! He is soooo
different from me. And the horrifying thing is, he loves the structure of
school though he has never been. He loves that game. He has only slept
through his alarm once, so far this year.
Rebecca
Aim/AOL: Rebeccawow
MSN: wow_academy@...
Yahoo! Messenger: wow_academy
ICQ# 2046718
http://www.geocities.com/rebeccawow.geo
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http://www.checin.org (Crossroads Home Educated Children)
Too often we give children answers to remember rather than problems to
solve. -Roger Lewin
[email protected]
In a message dated 3/12/2005 9:15:12 AM Pacific Standard Time,
game-enthusiast@... writes:
sells ''report Card s'' relatively cheap..or im sure you could find a place
to download them off some site......>>the stores name is rolands>>>june
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
game-enthusiast@... writes:
>there is a homeschool consignment store on pensacola blvd in pensacolammthat
> <<<My kids want report cards because they don't think it is fair that
> kids who get report cards can get free donuts from Krispy Kreme >>>
>
>
>
> Maybe you could buy gift certificates from Kristy Kreme, unbeknownst to
> them, and give them to them because they are star unschoolers one day. :-)
> It might be kind of like getting something free. <just an off the wall
> idea>
>
>
>
> Angela
>
sells ''report Card s'' relatively cheap..or im sure you could find a place
to download them off some site......>>the stores name is rolands>>>june
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
scrapgal
--- In [email protected], "Judy Anderson"
<temair@a...> wrote:
devoid of order is chaos. Maybe to highly structured people our
lives do seem like chaos, but I really think that my kids each have
their own "order" Keon is the only one that has a set bedtime and
that is only because he doesn't have the ability at this time in his
life to self-regulate many aspects of his life. However, I have
figured out when he is tired and that is his "bedtime" and it is
flexible depending on many factors. We all eat breakfast at
different times. We usually all eat lunch at different times.
Dinner is fixed at generally the same time each day, but that
doesn't mean we are all eating it at the same time. About the only
time that really happens is if we go out for a meal (which is fairly
rare). There always seems to be someone cooking in my kitchen. And
I've found ways to allow even Keon to be able to prepare food for
himself (he can make ramen and mac'n cheese and popcorn and heat
soup all in the microwave). And sometimes I feel like I am in the
kitchen all day cooking (which is really fine with me because I
enjoy cooking!)
For fun once I actually wrote when my kids did things. When they
rose, when they slept, when they ate, and they all had fairly
predictible patterns, but they were each unique to each child. So
they each have their own "order" so to speak.
Michelle
<temair@a...> wrote:
>that anyone
> My kids do have some structure to their lives. I don't believe
> can live a life devoid of order. They have a set bedtime, we eatmeals and
> snacks at predictable times, and DH takes over the TV at the sametime every
> day. I call that a daily order, some might call it structure.When I hear people mention "order" it usually implies that being
>
devoid of order is chaos. Maybe to highly structured people our
lives do seem like chaos, but I really think that my kids each have
their own "order" Keon is the only one that has a set bedtime and
that is only because he doesn't have the ability at this time in his
life to self-regulate many aspects of his life. However, I have
figured out when he is tired and that is his "bedtime" and it is
flexible depending on many factors. We all eat breakfast at
different times. We usually all eat lunch at different times.
Dinner is fixed at generally the same time each day, but that
doesn't mean we are all eating it at the same time. About the only
time that really happens is if we go out for a meal (which is fairly
rare). There always seems to be someone cooking in my kitchen. And
I've found ways to allow even Keon to be able to prepare food for
himself (he can make ramen and mac'n cheese and popcorn and heat
soup all in the microwave). And sometimes I feel like I am in the
kitchen all day cooking (which is really fine with me because I
enjoy cooking!)
For fun once I actually wrote when my kids did things. When they
rose, when they slept, when they ate, and they all had fairly
predictible patterns, but they were each unique to each child. So
they each have their own "order" so to speak.
Michelle
Judy Anderson
Perhaps I am seeing this issue only from my experience with my own children.
My children are 5 and under. Their birthdays are in April. Lauren (2 yo)
gets incredibly cranky by dinnertime if I don't make her take a nap. Moira
(5 yo) is quite happy to stay up until 1 am, and often does when we have our
friends over every other weekend for table top gaming. I am not yet
unschooling and Moira is in kindergarten, so she has to be up in time to get
on the bus, which means she has to go to bed by a certain time every night
to get enough sleep. I do let them lay in bed reading (or looking at the
pictures) for as long as they like every night. Usually they are all asleep
within an hour. On weekends I am far more lax. They get to stay up later
and they can get up whenever they feel like, but Lauren is predictably up
between 6 and 6:30 every morning.
My girls could (and have) convince(d) anyone that I starve them within a
half hour of eating a huge meal. I feel strongly that family meals are an
important opportunity for parents to model good manners and for everyone in
the family to connect and socialize, so eating meals together is a must for
me. Snacks are far more casual and can be eaten within a broad timeframe
(not within an hour of dinner so that they don't take one bite and say they
are full), and can be eaten pretty much anywhere except upstairs in their
bedrooms. I do regulate what they can eat because I feel strongly about
good nutrition and if left on their own, they will see nothing wrong with
eating junk food all day.
As for the TV, I let them watch as close to all they want as is reasonable.
My husband has shows he likes to watch in the late morning, so after the
girls have watched 4 hours of TV, it is his turn. And that is how we view
it. Whenever multiple people want to use the same thing but differently,
they have to take turns and share. TV is the same way in our house.
Sometimes, though, I will shut it off and not let anyone watch for a little
bit because I grew up without a TV and having it on *all* the time drives me
batty. I have to have some quiet in the house sometimes. That is my turn
with the TV. :) When I don't take my turn, the rest of the family has it
on from 6 am to 10 or 11 pm. Lauren will sometimes watch TV for a while,
then get up and shut it off and go do something else, usually playing with
her sister Rowan (12 mo). The first time I saw that I was shocked. I had
never seen a child voluntarily shut off the TV.
I see my role of parent as being that of provider and protector. I see a
lot of emphasis on provider in all the info I have found on unschooling, but
the protector part seems to be overlooked, at least in what I have found.
There is a reason why humans rear their children for roughly two decades,
instead of leaving them to their own devices from day one like reptiles do.
I need to protect my children from making foolish decisions that will cause
themselves pain or harm, and so I step in and give them the benefit of my
experience and wisdom. Wow, that sounds really condescending, but I can't
think of a better way to phrase it right now. At such a young age, my
children don't have the experience or knowledge to make decisions about what
kinds of food to eat. The relationship between diet and health is too
abstract for them right now. It is easier to relate too much sugar to an
upset tummy than it is to relate the fact that you don't have the flu that
is going around to the fact that you take cod liver oil every day. Lauren
still doesn't really grasp the idea that she gets cranky by 5 or 6 pm
because she didn't take a nap. Then she has temper tantrums and misbehaves
and gets yelled at for it and everyone is miserable. She doesn't like
getting yelled at, we don't like yelling, and it all could have been
prevented with a simple nap.
I hope this clarifies my position on "structure".
Judy
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
My children are 5 and under. Their birthdays are in April. Lauren (2 yo)
gets incredibly cranky by dinnertime if I don't make her take a nap. Moira
(5 yo) is quite happy to stay up until 1 am, and often does when we have our
friends over every other weekend for table top gaming. I am not yet
unschooling and Moira is in kindergarten, so she has to be up in time to get
on the bus, which means she has to go to bed by a certain time every night
to get enough sleep. I do let them lay in bed reading (or looking at the
pictures) for as long as they like every night. Usually they are all asleep
within an hour. On weekends I am far more lax. They get to stay up later
and they can get up whenever they feel like, but Lauren is predictably up
between 6 and 6:30 every morning.
My girls could (and have) convince(d) anyone that I starve them within a
half hour of eating a huge meal. I feel strongly that family meals are an
important opportunity for parents to model good manners and for everyone in
the family to connect and socialize, so eating meals together is a must for
me. Snacks are far more casual and can be eaten within a broad timeframe
(not within an hour of dinner so that they don't take one bite and say they
are full), and can be eaten pretty much anywhere except upstairs in their
bedrooms. I do regulate what they can eat because I feel strongly about
good nutrition and if left on their own, they will see nothing wrong with
eating junk food all day.
As for the TV, I let them watch as close to all they want as is reasonable.
My husband has shows he likes to watch in the late morning, so after the
girls have watched 4 hours of TV, it is his turn. And that is how we view
it. Whenever multiple people want to use the same thing but differently,
they have to take turns and share. TV is the same way in our house.
Sometimes, though, I will shut it off and not let anyone watch for a little
bit because I grew up without a TV and having it on *all* the time drives me
batty. I have to have some quiet in the house sometimes. That is my turn
with the TV. :) When I don't take my turn, the rest of the family has it
on from 6 am to 10 or 11 pm. Lauren will sometimes watch TV for a while,
then get up and shut it off and go do something else, usually playing with
her sister Rowan (12 mo). The first time I saw that I was shocked. I had
never seen a child voluntarily shut off the TV.
I see my role of parent as being that of provider and protector. I see a
lot of emphasis on provider in all the info I have found on unschooling, but
the protector part seems to be overlooked, at least in what I have found.
There is a reason why humans rear their children for roughly two decades,
instead of leaving them to their own devices from day one like reptiles do.
I need to protect my children from making foolish decisions that will cause
themselves pain or harm, and so I step in and give them the benefit of my
experience and wisdom. Wow, that sounds really condescending, but I can't
think of a better way to phrase it right now. At such a young age, my
children don't have the experience or knowledge to make decisions about what
kinds of food to eat. The relationship between diet and health is too
abstract for them right now. It is easier to relate too much sugar to an
upset tummy than it is to relate the fact that you don't have the flu that
is going around to the fact that you take cod liver oil every day. Lauren
still doesn't really grasp the idea that she gets cranky by 5 or 6 pm
because she didn't take a nap. Then she has temper tantrums and misbehaves
and gets yelled at for it and everyone is miserable. She doesn't like
getting yelled at, we don't like yelling, and it all could have been
prevented with a simple nap.
I hope this clarifies my position on "structure".
Judy
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Maria Dorian
Well said, Judy!
Maria
--- In [email protected], "Judy Anderson"
<temair@a...> wrote:
Maria
--- In [email protected], "Judy Anderson"
<temair@a...> wrote:
> Perhaps I am seeing this issue only from my experience with my ownchildren.
> My children are 5 and under. Their birthdays are in April.Lauren (2 yo)
> gets incredibly cranky by dinnertime if I don't make her take anap. Moira
> (5 yo) is quite happy to stay up until 1 am, and often does whenwe have our
> friends over every other weekend for table top gaming. I am notyet
> unschooling and Moira is in kindergarten, so she has to be up intime to get
> on the bus, which means she has to go to bed by a certain timeevery night
> to get enough sleep. I do let them lay in bed reading (or lookingat the
> pictures) for as long as they like every night. Usually they areall asleep
> within an hour. On weekends I am far more lax. They get to stayup later
> and they can get up whenever they feel like, but Lauren ispredictably up
> between 6 and 6:30 every morning.within a
>
> My girls could (and have) convince(d) anyone that I starve them
> half hour of eating a huge meal. I feel strongly that familymeals are an
> important opportunity for parents to model good manners and foreveryone in
> the family to connect and socialize, so eating meals together is amust for
> me. Snacks are far more casual and can be eaten within a broadtimeframe
> (not within an hour of dinner so that they don't take one bite andsay they
> are full), and can be eaten pretty much anywhere except upstairsin their
> bedrooms. I do regulate what they can eat because I feel stronglyabout
> good nutrition and if left on their own, they will see nothingwrong with
> eating junk food all day.reasonable.
>
> As for the TV, I let them watch as close to all they want as is
> My husband has shows he likes to watch in the late morning, soafter the
> girls have watched 4 hours of TV, it is his turn. And that is howwe view
> it. Whenever multiple people want to use the same thing butdifferently,
> they have to take turns and share. TV is the same way in ourhouse.
> Sometimes, though, I will shut it off and not let anyone watch fora little
> bit because I grew up without a TV and having it on *all* the timedrives me
> batty. I have to have some quiet in the house sometimes. That ismy turn
> with the TV. :) When I don't take my turn, the rest of thefamily has it
> on from 6 am to 10 or 11 pm. Lauren will sometimes watch TV for awhile,
> then get up and shut it off and go do something else, usuallyplaying with
> her sister Rowan (12 mo). The first time I saw that I wasshocked. I had
> never seen a child voluntarily shut off the TV.I see a
>
> I see my role of parent as being that of provider and protector.
> lot of emphasis on provider in all the info I have found onunschooling, but
> the protector part seems to be overlooked, at least in what I havefound.
> There is a reason why humans rear their children for roughly twodecades,
> instead of leaving them to their own devices from day one likereptiles do.
> I need to protect my children from making foolish decisions thatwill cause
> themselves pain or harm, and so I step in and give them thebenefit of my
> experience and wisdom. Wow, that sounds really condescending, butI can't
> think of a better way to phrase it right now. At such a youngage, my
> children don't have the experience or knowledge to make decisionsabout what
> kinds of food to eat. The relationship between diet and health istoo
> abstract for them right now. It is easier to relate too muchsugar to an
> upset tummy than it is to relate the fact that you don't have theflu that
> is going around to the fact that you take cod liver oil everyday. Lauren
> still doesn't really grasp the idea that she gets cranky by 5 or 6pm
> because she didn't take a nap. Then she has temper tantrums andmisbehaves
> and gets yelled at for it and everyone is miserable. She doesn'tlike
> getting yelled at, we don't like yelling, and it all could havebeen
> prevented with a simple nap.
>
> I hope this clarifies my position on "structure".
>
> Judy
>
>
> [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Pam Sorooshian
On Mar 14, 2005, at 7:22 PM, Judy Anderson wrote:
do you seriously think that unschoolers don't give their little
children help with getting settled down for a nap when they need one?
What are you envisioning? That we let our little ones just fall apart
every day for lack of rest? That we're ignoring their physical needs?
We may not have specific nap times or bed times - we may not
arbitrarily say: "You will be in bed by 7:30 pm," but we help them
notice their own needs and help them fall asleep if they need it.
-pam
> LaurenSo - if course we'd help her get herself a nap if she needed one. But,
> still doesn't really grasp the idea that she gets cranky by 5 or 6 pm
> because she didn't take a nap. Then she has temper tantrums and
> misbehaves
> and gets yelled at for it and everyone is miserable. She doesn't like
> getting yelled at, we don't like yelling, and it all could have been
> prevented with a simple nap.
do you seriously think that unschoolers don't give their little
children help with getting settled down for a nap when they need one?
What are you envisioning? That we let our little ones just fall apart
every day for lack of rest? That we're ignoring their physical needs?
We may not have specific nap times or bed times - we may not
arbitrarily say: "You will be in bed by 7:30 pm," but we help them
notice their own needs and help them fall asleep if they need it.
-pam
Judy Anderson
I'm not sure what to envision. That is my problem. I hear tons of what is
*not* done, but little of what *is* done. I know that I can't be doing too
much wrong because everyone tells me what wonderful, happy children I have.
How do you help your children recognize when they need sleep? From birth
mine have all refused to acknowledge that they are tired even as their eyes
droop and their heads fall. As babies, I lay them down for naps when they
start getting cranky or rubbing their eyes a lot. It doesn't matter what
time it is. As they get older and one nap is enough for them but none is
too little, I set a time for them because they haven't shown me that they
will sleep for themselves. Sometimes Lauren does come to me and ask me for
a nap. She has probably done that twice ever and she will be 3 in April.
Moira routinely stayed up until 1 am as a baby with no bedtime until I
started putting her to bed earlier so I could go to bed earlier and get the
sleep that I needed to make it through the day without falling asleep at
work (which I often did because I was so tired staying up with her). I
understand that everyone thrives on a different schedule, but sometimes it
is impossible to accommodate a particular schedule. Even with not going to
school or if you own your own business, there are still other outside forces
that influence one's schedule. I would like to know how others work around
the schedules imposed on us by society and nature.
Judy
-----Original Message-----
From: Pam Sorooshian [mailto:pamsoroosh@...]
Sent: Tuesday, March 15, 2005 12:00 AM
To: [email protected]
Subject: Re: [unschoolingbasics] Re: Intro and structure
*not* done, but little of what *is* done. I know that I can't be doing too
much wrong because everyone tells me what wonderful, happy children I have.
How do you help your children recognize when they need sleep? From birth
mine have all refused to acknowledge that they are tired even as their eyes
droop and their heads fall. As babies, I lay them down for naps when they
start getting cranky or rubbing their eyes a lot. It doesn't matter what
time it is. As they get older and one nap is enough for them but none is
too little, I set a time for them because they haven't shown me that they
will sleep for themselves. Sometimes Lauren does come to me and ask me for
a nap. She has probably done that twice ever and she will be 3 in April.
Moira routinely stayed up until 1 am as a baby with no bedtime until I
started putting her to bed earlier so I could go to bed earlier and get the
sleep that I needed to make it through the day without falling asleep at
work (which I often did because I was so tired staying up with her). I
understand that everyone thrives on a different schedule, but sometimes it
is impossible to accommodate a particular schedule. Even with not going to
school or if you own your own business, there are still other outside forces
that influence one's schedule. I would like to know how others work around
the schedules imposed on us by society and nature.
Judy
-----Original Message-----
From: Pam Sorooshian [mailto:pamsoroosh@...]
Sent: Tuesday, March 15, 2005 12:00 AM
To: [email protected]
Subject: Re: [unschoolingbasics] Re: Intro and structure
On Mar 14, 2005, at 7:22 PM, Judy Anderson wrote:
> Lauren
> still doesn't really grasp the idea that she gets cranky by 5 or 6 pm
> because she didn't take a nap. Then she has temper tantrums and
> misbehaves
> and gets yelled at for it and everyone is miserable. She doesn't like
> getting yelled at, we don't like yelling, and it all could have been
> prevented with a simple nap.
So - if course we'd help her get herself a nap if she needed one. But,
do you seriously think that unschoolers don't give their little
children help with getting settled down for a nap when they need one?
What are you envisioning? That we let our little ones just fall apart
every day for lack of rest? That we're ignoring their physical needs?
We may not have specific nap times or bed times - we may not
arbitrarily say: "You will be in bed by 7:30 pm," but we help them
notice their own needs and help them fall asleep if they need it.
-pam
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[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Deb Lewis
***Perhaps I am seeing this issue only from my experience with my own
children.***
Probably! <g> That's how all of us see these issues.
***Lauren (2 yo) gets incredibly cranky by dinnertime if I don't make her
take a nap.***
When you say "make her take a nap" do you mean you leave a cranky,
unhappy child alone in her bed and threaten her if she doesn't go to
sleep? Or do you mean you rock her and nurse her and when she falls
asleep you put her down? Or do you mean something else. I think it
would help us to know.
Dylan really liked to nurse in mid afternoon when he was tired.
Sometimes he would doze a little, while I held him. But he'd be
energized again in a few minutes and on the go. It was the times he fell
asleep and really napped that he was the most cranky.
We used to joke that we had banned naps at our house.
What I think Dylan really needed and it proved to be true, was some close
contact and some nutrition. Maybe your daughter really benefits from a
nap but maybe she'd benefit just as much from forty minutes of snuggling
and some nursing.
And maybe, if nap time is a fight, the benefits of napping in the end
won't outweigh the detriments of fighting with mom.
***I am not yet unschooling and Moira is in kindergarten,***
Well, that's important. This is an unschooling list. What you're writing
may speak to some people, but it's not unschooling advice.
***I feel strongly that family meals are an
important opportunity for parents to model good manners and for everyone
in
the family to connect and socialize, so eating meals together is a must
for
me. ***
Have you ever struggled to get your kids to the table or fought with them
about what or how much they're eating? If so, do you consider that
modeling good manners? I think good manners is trusting a person, even
a little one, to know if they're hungry and to know if they want to join
the rest of the family at the dinner table. It think honoring their
feelings models respect and kindness. Maybe your kids love family
dinner time as much as you and you've never had to push to get them to
participate.
Dylan is home with me all day so we've never been disconnected. His dad
works but sometimes comes home later than Dylan likes to eat so they
don't always eat together. I don't think it would help Dylan's
relationship with his dad if I made him wait and eat with David. It
don't think their socializing would be as pleasant if Dylan had been
hungry for an hour but was made to wait to eat with his dad. I don't
think I'd be modeling good manners to make him wait. But really,
since Dylan isn't in school, we don't have the pressing need to schedule
time with him. He's right here. He's here all day.
***Snacks are far more casual and can be eaten within a broad timeframe
(not within an hour of dinner so that they don't take one bite and say
they
are full),***
If the idea of dinner is to ensure a body eats, then I don't understand
the concern about a body getting full before dinner. Food is food at
four in the afternoon and it's food at five. Children don't get sick
from eating an apple five minutes before dinner and then skipping dinner.
Sometimes an apple is all a body needs. A child won't forever want to
eat apples instead of dinner.
***I do regulate what they can eat because I feel strongly about
good nutrition and if left on their own, they will see nothing wrong with
eating junk food all day.***
Filtering through my own experience with my kid, who's never been to
school and who will be thirteen in May: I've never regulated what he
eats and he's never eaten junk food all day long. He likes to feel good
and he knows he feels best when he has plenty of water, some protein,
some veggies and fruit. Yes, he likes chips and Coke and popcorn, but
he's never only eaten those things and I've never told him he couldn't.
I think the reason he has never eaten so called "junk" food all day is
because I never told him some food was junk and should be consumed
sparingly. Chips aren't more exciting than oranges, they're just one
more choice in a house full of choices.
***Lauren will sometimes watch TV for a while,
then get up and shut it off and go do something else, usually playing
with
her sister Rowan (12 mo). The first time I saw that I was shocked. I
had
never seen a child voluntarily shut off the TV.***
I think you might be pleasantly surprised to learn that just like a child
free to watch TV will know when she doesn't want to watch, a child free
to eat when and what she wants will also choose to not eat junk food all
day. A child free to sleep when she wants will sleep when she's tired.
***I have found on unschooling, but the protector part seems to be
overlooked, at least in what I have found.***
This list has 455 members unschooling or learning about unschooling live
children. I don't think they are careless about protecting their kids.
What I think is they are realistic about what real danger is. Danger is
not a graham cracker an hour before dinner. Danger is not an extra hour
of TV. Danger is not a missed nap.
My son is very well and he was never made to nap, never made to eat
dinner with the family, never made to turn off the TV. Yet he sleeps
when he's tired, eats when he's hungry, watches only as much TV as he
wants. He was never run over by stampeding buffalo or eaten by wolves.
He did smack his head on the coffee table and need stitches when he was
about four but that's been his only serious injury.
***I need to protect my children from making foolish decisions that will
cause
themselves pain or harm, and so I step in and give them the benefit of my
experience and wisdom.***
I don't think you'll find unschoolers on this list advising parents to
leave their children to their own devises. We share our experiences with
our kids all day long, every day. But my need to protect Dylan may not
serve Dylan's need to be his own person, to learn about the world his own
way and to live his own life. I would absolutely stop him if he said he
was going to throw himself under a train, but incredibly he's never
wanted to. ; ) He wants to be ok. He wants to feel good, be healthy,
have a good life and so his life is less about "my need" to protect him
and more about his own self awareness and understanding.
***At such a young age, my children don't have the experience or
knowledge to make decisions about what
kinds of food to eat.***
I think you mean they don't have the knowledge or experience to make the
choices you'll approve of. I bet they can and do make decisions about
what kinds of food to eat. I bet if you offered your kids apple slices
and cheese and grapes and broccoli and salad dressing for dipping and
some chips they'd eat just what they liked from what you offered and they
wouldn't go out in the driveway and eat spiders and grasshoppers.
***than it is to relate the fact that you don't have the flu that
is going around to the fact that you take cod liver oil every day. ***
I didn't get the flu and I've never even considered taking cod liver oil.
How do you account for those people who don't catch flu and who don't
take cod liver oil? I eat chocolate almost everyday. Maybe that's why
I didn't catch the flu. <g>
***Lauren still doesn't really grasp the idea that she gets cranky by 5
or 6 pm
because she didn't take a nap.***
She's very young. She didn't learn to walk right away either, she didn't
learn how to blow her nose right away, or how to take off some clothes
when she got too hot. Learning our body signals is a very personal
thing. Some adults still don't understand when they're over stressed,
etc. Because a child hasn't learned she feels better with more sleep
doesn't mean she'll never learn it and it doesn't mean she needs to be
made to do so according to someone else's schedule. You wouldn't have
insisted she walk at two months and you wouldn't have insisted she dress
herself at six months. Insisting she sleeps when you decide she's tired
won't help her come to her own conclusions about how much sleep she needs
and when. Helping her find peaceful sleep when you notice she's tired
is a kindness though, and will go along way to helping her understand her
body's signals.
***Then she has temper tantrums and misbehaves
and gets yelled at for it and everyone is miserable. ***
Is yelling "behaving?" Do you think you're misbehaving when you yell at
a two year old? You're trying to get a two year old to sleep to avoid
crankiness by being cranky yourself? I think you may not be modeling
what you wish you were modeling.
***She doesn't like getting yelled at, we don't like yelling, and it all
could have been
prevented with a simple nap.***
It could have been prevented by kind understanding and choosing not to
yelling. If a person doesn't like yelling they never have to yell.
When your spouse is tired and cranky do you yell at him? Would you yell
at a guest who was tired and cranky? She doesn't get yelled at because
she didn't take a nap, she gets yelled at because *you* yell. She gets
tired when she doesn't take a nap, she gets cranky, maybe she gets
overwhelmed easily. Those things are a natural consequence of being
overtired. Getting yelled at is not. Yelling is caused every single
time by the yeller. Loving kindness and understanding, holding and
rocking can help a tired child to sleep. It can help her trust you, can
help her love you, can help her feel better about falling asleep, can
help her learn about kindness. The benefits are endless.
Deb Lewis
children.***
Probably! <g> That's how all of us see these issues.
***Lauren (2 yo) gets incredibly cranky by dinnertime if I don't make her
take a nap.***
When you say "make her take a nap" do you mean you leave a cranky,
unhappy child alone in her bed and threaten her if she doesn't go to
sleep? Or do you mean you rock her and nurse her and when she falls
asleep you put her down? Or do you mean something else. I think it
would help us to know.
Dylan really liked to nurse in mid afternoon when he was tired.
Sometimes he would doze a little, while I held him. But he'd be
energized again in a few minutes and on the go. It was the times he fell
asleep and really napped that he was the most cranky.
We used to joke that we had banned naps at our house.
What I think Dylan really needed and it proved to be true, was some close
contact and some nutrition. Maybe your daughter really benefits from a
nap but maybe she'd benefit just as much from forty minutes of snuggling
and some nursing.
And maybe, if nap time is a fight, the benefits of napping in the end
won't outweigh the detriments of fighting with mom.
***I am not yet unschooling and Moira is in kindergarten,***
Well, that's important. This is an unschooling list. What you're writing
may speak to some people, but it's not unschooling advice.
***I feel strongly that family meals are an
important opportunity for parents to model good manners and for everyone
in
the family to connect and socialize, so eating meals together is a must
for
me. ***
Have you ever struggled to get your kids to the table or fought with them
about what or how much they're eating? If so, do you consider that
modeling good manners? I think good manners is trusting a person, even
a little one, to know if they're hungry and to know if they want to join
the rest of the family at the dinner table. It think honoring their
feelings models respect and kindness. Maybe your kids love family
dinner time as much as you and you've never had to push to get them to
participate.
Dylan is home with me all day so we've never been disconnected. His dad
works but sometimes comes home later than Dylan likes to eat so they
don't always eat together. I don't think it would help Dylan's
relationship with his dad if I made him wait and eat with David. It
don't think their socializing would be as pleasant if Dylan had been
hungry for an hour but was made to wait to eat with his dad. I don't
think I'd be modeling good manners to make him wait. But really,
since Dylan isn't in school, we don't have the pressing need to schedule
time with him. He's right here. He's here all day.
***Snacks are far more casual and can be eaten within a broad timeframe
(not within an hour of dinner so that they don't take one bite and say
they
are full),***
If the idea of dinner is to ensure a body eats, then I don't understand
the concern about a body getting full before dinner. Food is food at
four in the afternoon and it's food at five. Children don't get sick
from eating an apple five minutes before dinner and then skipping dinner.
Sometimes an apple is all a body needs. A child won't forever want to
eat apples instead of dinner.
***I do regulate what they can eat because I feel strongly about
good nutrition and if left on their own, they will see nothing wrong with
eating junk food all day.***
Filtering through my own experience with my kid, who's never been to
school and who will be thirteen in May: I've never regulated what he
eats and he's never eaten junk food all day long. He likes to feel good
and he knows he feels best when he has plenty of water, some protein,
some veggies and fruit. Yes, he likes chips and Coke and popcorn, but
he's never only eaten those things and I've never told him he couldn't.
I think the reason he has never eaten so called "junk" food all day is
because I never told him some food was junk and should be consumed
sparingly. Chips aren't more exciting than oranges, they're just one
more choice in a house full of choices.
***Lauren will sometimes watch TV for a while,
then get up and shut it off and go do something else, usually playing
with
her sister Rowan (12 mo). The first time I saw that I was shocked. I
had
never seen a child voluntarily shut off the TV.***
I think you might be pleasantly surprised to learn that just like a child
free to watch TV will know when she doesn't want to watch, a child free
to eat when and what she wants will also choose to not eat junk food all
day. A child free to sleep when she wants will sleep when she's tired.
***I have found on unschooling, but the protector part seems to be
overlooked, at least in what I have found.***
This list has 455 members unschooling or learning about unschooling live
children. I don't think they are careless about protecting their kids.
What I think is they are realistic about what real danger is. Danger is
not a graham cracker an hour before dinner. Danger is not an extra hour
of TV. Danger is not a missed nap.
My son is very well and he was never made to nap, never made to eat
dinner with the family, never made to turn off the TV. Yet he sleeps
when he's tired, eats when he's hungry, watches only as much TV as he
wants. He was never run over by stampeding buffalo or eaten by wolves.
He did smack his head on the coffee table and need stitches when he was
about four but that's been his only serious injury.
***I need to protect my children from making foolish decisions that will
cause
themselves pain or harm, and so I step in and give them the benefit of my
experience and wisdom.***
I don't think you'll find unschoolers on this list advising parents to
leave their children to their own devises. We share our experiences with
our kids all day long, every day. But my need to protect Dylan may not
serve Dylan's need to be his own person, to learn about the world his own
way and to live his own life. I would absolutely stop him if he said he
was going to throw himself under a train, but incredibly he's never
wanted to. ; ) He wants to be ok. He wants to feel good, be healthy,
have a good life and so his life is less about "my need" to protect him
and more about his own self awareness and understanding.
***At such a young age, my children don't have the experience or
knowledge to make decisions about what
kinds of food to eat.***
I think you mean they don't have the knowledge or experience to make the
choices you'll approve of. I bet they can and do make decisions about
what kinds of food to eat. I bet if you offered your kids apple slices
and cheese and grapes and broccoli and salad dressing for dipping and
some chips they'd eat just what they liked from what you offered and they
wouldn't go out in the driveway and eat spiders and grasshoppers.
***than it is to relate the fact that you don't have the flu that
is going around to the fact that you take cod liver oil every day. ***
I didn't get the flu and I've never even considered taking cod liver oil.
How do you account for those people who don't catch flu and who don't
take cod liver oil? I eat chocolate almost everyday. Maybe that's why
I didn't catch the flu. <g>
***Lauren still doesn't really grasp the idea that she gets cranky by 5
or 6 pm
because she didn't take a nap.***
She's very young. She didn't learn to walk right away either, she didn't
learn how to blow her nose right away, or how to take off some clothes
when she got too hot. Learning our body signals is a very personal
thing. Some adults still don't understand when they're over stressed,
etc. Because a child hasn't learned she feels better with more sleep
doesn't mean she'll never learn it and it doesn't mean she needs to be
made to do so according to someone else's schedule. You wouldn't have
insisted she walk at two months and you wouldn't have insisted she dress
herself at six months. Insisting she sleeps when you decide she's tired
won't help her come to her own conclusions about how much sleep she needs
and when. Helping her find peaceful sleep when you notice she's tired
is a kindness though, and will go along way to helping her understand her
body's signals.
***Then she has temper tantrums and misbehaves
and gets yelled at for it and everyone is miserable. ***
Is yelling "behaving?" Do you think you're misbehaving when you yell at
a two year old? You're trying to get a two year old to sleep to avoid
crankiness by being cranky yourself? I think you may not be modeling
what you wish you were modeling.
***She doesn't like getting yelled at, we don't like yelling, and it all
could have been
prevented with a simple nap.***
It could have been prevented by kind understanding and choosing not to
yelling. If a person doesn't like yelling they never have to yell.
When your spouse is tired and cranky do you yell at him? Would you yell
at a guest who was tired and cranky? She doesn't get yelled at because
she didn't take a nap, she gets yelled at because *you* yell. She gets
tired when she doesn't take a nap, she gets cranky, maybe she gets
overwhelmed easily. Those things are a natural consequence of being
overtired. Getting yelled at is not. Yelling is caused every single
time by the yeller. Loving kindness and understanding, holding and
rocking can help a tired child to sleep. It can help her trust you, can
help her love you, can help her feel better about falling asleep, can
help her learn about kindness. The benefits are endless.
Deb Lewis
Ruth
Hi Judy
A "typical" day if there ever is one goes as such. My kids are all over the age of 5 - the youngest two are 6 but they don't eat meals as such. They prefer to graze when they are hungry on food of their choice. This - strangely enough -is not usually junk food or rubbish but usually their choices are for fruit, cereal, maybe crisps now and then or sandwiches. The older kids like meals but never like the same food as each other. I do one meal that most like and plate if off so they can have it when they are ready to eat and the ones who don't want it make themselves something else. Every Sunday we have a meal together which they like.
Dh doesn't watch T.V during the day. He is busy working on our house so only watches it at night. The two youngest put Nick Junior on for a couple of hours from say 6 am - til 8 and then turn it off. They play games, play with they toys, read books with me if they want and watch dv.d's, draw, paint, go on the computer or go out on the trampoline in our garden. Some days we go out to places. Some days we have friends in. It depends. The older ones do similar stuff except the don't watch T.V during the day unless it is something they specifically want to see. That was not a rule made by me or dh. Just how they do it. The older ones have ongoing projects they picked they do when they want to do them and they see friends, go on the computer and go places as well. They eat when they are hungry and get snacks when they like. I don't bother if they can't eat a main meal cos I would leave it in the fridge and someone will always have it. I if they don't eat it. I don't mind.
The older ones have the T.V in the front room every night but prefer to go up about 8.30 to do stuff in their rooms.( what that stuff is I have no idea!!!) They go to sleep about 11 ish.The 6 year olds are not sleepers. They sleep for about 3 hours and play all night from 11 pm until about 4 when they go to sleep while 6 ish.. It works well. It is not chaos even tho there are 7 children basically to all appearances doing what they like. At the moment I am typing and it is quiet. All I can hear is the twins playing a game. I love unschooling.
Ruth
____________________________________________________________________________
This email and all attachments have been electronically scanned by Kingston
Communications' email Anti-Virus service and no known viruses were detected.
____________________________________________________________________________
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
A "typical" day if there ever is one goes as such. My kids are all over the age of 5 - the youngest two are 6 but they don't eat meals as such. They prefer to graze when they are hungry on food of their choice. This - strangely enough -is not usually junk food or rubbish but usually their choices are for fruit, cereal, maybe crisps now and then or sandwiches. The older kids like meals but never like the same food as each other. I do one meal that most like and plate if off so they can have it when they are ready to eat and the ones who don't want it make themselves something else. Every Sunday we have a meal together which they like.
Dh doesn't watch T.V during the day. He is busy working on our house so only watches it at night. The two youngest put Nick Junior on for a couple of hours from say 6 am - til 8 and then turn it off. They play games, play with they toys, read books with me if they want and watch dv.d's, draw, paint, go on the computer or go out on the trampoline in our garden. Some days we go out to places. Some days we have friends in. It depends. The older ones do similar stuff except the don't watch T.V during the day unless it is something they specifically want to see. That was not a rule made by me or dh. Just how they do it. The older ones have ongoing projects they picked they do when they want to do them and they see friends, go on the computer and go places as well. They eat when they are hungry and get snacks when they like. I don't bother if they can't eat a main meal cos I would leave it in the fridge and someone will always have it. I if they don't eat it. I don't mind.
The older ones have the T.V in the front room every night but prefer to go up about 8.30 to do stuff in their rooms.( what that stuff is I have no idea!!!) They go to sleep about 11 ish.The 6 year olds are not sleepers. They sleep for about 3 hours and play all night from 11 pm until about 4 when they go to sleep while 6 ish.. It works well. It is not chaos even tho there are 7 children basically to all appearances doing what they like. At the moment I am typing and it is quiet. All I can hear is the twins playing a game. I love unschooling.
Ruth
____________________________________________________________________________
This email and all attachments have been electronically scanned by Kingston
Communications' email Anti-Virus service and no known viruses were detected.
____________________________________________________________________________
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Danielle Conger
== I'm not sure what to envision. That is my problem. I hear tons of
what is
*not* done, but little of what *is* done. I know that I can't be doing too
much wrong because everyone tells me what wonderful, happy children I have.
How do you help your children recognize when they need sleep? ===
There's a list geared towards Unschooling small children called
AlwaysUnschooled where the discussion is specifically about how parents
of young children embrace an Unschooling lifestyle, covering issues like
sleeping, eating and tv as well as academics. You're welcome to ask
specific questions over there about how parents with children similar in
age to yours handle these situations and what it looks like for them.
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/AlwaysUnschooled/
~~Danielle
Emily (7), Julia (6), Sam (4.5)
http://www.danielleconger.com/Homeschool/Welcomehome.html
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
"With our thoughts, we make the world." ~~Buddha
what is
*not* done, but little of what *is* done. I know that I can't be doing too
much wrong because everyone tells me what wonderful, happy children I have.
How do you help your children recognize when they need sleep? ===
There's a list geared towards Unschooling small children called
AlwaysUnschooled where the discussion is specifically about how parents
of young children embrace an Unschooling lifestyle, covering issues like
sleeping, eating and tv as well as academics. You're welcome to ask
specific questions over there about how parents with children similar in
age to yours handle these situations and what it looks like for them.
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/AlwaysUnschooled/
~~Danielle
Emily (7), Julia (6), Sam (4.5)
http://www.danielleconger.com/Homeschool/Welcomehome.html
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
"With our thoughts, we make the world." ~~Buddha
>
Angela S
There seem to be a lot of studies out there about families who eat together,
sharing meals and catching up on their days, how the kids do better in
school, have higher self esteem, or whatever. It never occurred to me when
my kids were littler than those studies only apply to families that are
separated each day. It would then make sense that the kids are emotionally
healthier when they make a connection with their families every day.
I used to try hard to make sure we had dinner together every night and
sometimes it was stressful for me. However, most unschooling families are
together for much/most of the day anyway. They all know what has happened
in each other's lives because they were a part of it. They don't need to
sit and tell each other about their day in the same way that people who are
separated all day do. Letting go of some Brady Bunch idea of what dinner
should be was the best thing I ever did for our family. It made meal times
much more enjoyable.
I cook a dinner meal most nights and the kids (8 and 10) almost always
choose to sit at the table and eat with us. (although they don't have to)
My husband works away from home part of the time and so often it's just the
girls and I. I make some kind of meal most nights and we each choose from
that meal or something else that is easy to prepare (frozen veggies, I keep
cooked rice and pasta in the fridge, cereal, toast, fruit) When he is home,
he is home all day and he makes better connections with the girls away from
the dinner table anyway. He really connects with them when they play
computer games together or talk about some other interest that they share.
Angela
game-enthusiast@...
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
sharing meals and catching up on their days, how the kids do better in
school, have higher self esteem, or whatever. It never occurred to me when
my kids were littler than those studies only apply to families that are
separated each day. It would then make sense that the kids are emotionally
healthier when they make a connection with their families every day.
I used to try hard to make sure we had dinner together every night and
sometimes it was stressful for me. However, most unschooling families are
together for much/most of the day anyway. They all know what has happened
in each other's lives because they were a part of it. They don't need to
sit and tell each other about their day in the same way that people who are
separated all day do. Letting go of some Brady Bunch idea of what dinner
should be was the best thing I ever did for our family. It made meal times
much more enjoyable.
I cook a dinner meal most nights and the kids (8 and 10) almost always
choose to sit at the table and eat with us. (although they don't have to)
My husband works away from home part of the time and so often it's just the
girls and I. I make some kind of meal most nights and we each choose from
that meal or something else that is easy to prepare (frozen veggies, I keep
cooked rice and pasta in the fridge, cereal, toast, fruit) When he is home,
he is home all day and he makes better connections with the girls away from
the dinner table anyway. He really connects with them when they play
computer games together or talk about some other interest that they share.
Angela
game-enthusiast@...
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
[email protected]
In a message dated 3/15/2005 7:59:20 AM Eastern Standard Time,
game-enthusiast@... writes:
time and we still do often, but if we want to eat in front of the TV for a
favorite show, it makes it more special that we do it together. My dh isn't home
for supper most nights until after we've eaten, so it's not a full family
dinner anyway. Also, the stress the "rule" about eating together created
sometimes took away all the pleasure.
As far as lunchtime, usually my kids fix their own lunch, so we rarely sit
down together at lunch time. My 13yos get out of bed around 10 (give or take an
hour or so) so he's not ready for lunch with my 9yod and I. We all eat when
we feel like it.
On the other hand, now that we don't have that "rule", we sit down and enjoy
more meals together.
Jill in sc
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
game-enthusiast@... writes:
>I am in the same boat. I tried to get us to sit at the table to eat all the
>
> I used to try hard to make sure we had dinner together every night and
> sometimes it was stressful for me. However, most unschooling families are
> together for much/most of the day anyway. They all know what has happened
> in each other's lives because they were a part of it. They don't need to
> sit and tell each other about their day in the same way that people who are
> separated all day do. Letting go of some Brady Bunch idea of what dinner
> should be was the best thing I ever did for our family. It made meal times
> much more enjoyable.
>
time and we still do often, but if we want to eat in front of the TV for a
favorite show, it makes it more special that we do it together. My dh isn't home
for supper most nights until after we've eaten, so it's not a full family
dinner anyway. Also, the stress the "rule" about eating together created
sometimes took away all the pleasure.
As far as lunchtime, usually my kids fix their own lunch, so we rarely sit
down together at lunch time. My 13yos get out of bed around 10 (give or take an
hour or so) so he's not ready for lunch with my 9yod and I. We all eat when
we feel like it.
On the other hand, now that we don't have that "rule", we sit down and enjoy
more meals together.
Jill in sc
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Maria Dorian
<<There seem to be a lot of studies out there about families who eat
together,
I love that! It is so true... The whole "quality time" thing is
more for families that are seperated isn't it?
Maria
--- In [email protected], "Angela S" <game-
enthusiast@a...> wrote:
together,
> sharing meals and catching up on their days, how the kids dobetter in
> school, have higher self esteem, or whatever. It never occurredto me when
> my kids were littler than those studies only apply to familiesthat are
> separated each day. It would then make sense that the kids areemotionally
> healthier when they make a connection with their families everyday. >>
I love that! It is so true... The whole "quality time" thing is
more for families that are seperated isn't it?
Maria
--- In [email protected], "Angela S" <game-
enthusiast@a...> wrote:
> There seem to be a lot of studies out there about families who eattogether,
> sharing meals and catching up on their days, how the kids dobetter in
> school, have higher self esteem, or whatever. It never occurredto me when
> my kids were littler than those studies only apply to familiesthat are
> separated each day. It would then make sense that the kids areemotionally
> healthier when they make a connection with their families everyday.
>and
>
>
> I used to try hard to make sure we had dinner together every night
> sometimes it was stressful for me. However, most unschoolingfamilies are
> together for much/most of the day anyway. They all know what hashappened
> in each other's lives because they were a part of it. They don'tneed to
> sit and tell each other about their day in the same way thatpeople who are
> separated all day do. Letting go of some Brady Bunch idea of whatdinner
> should be was the best thing I ever did for our family. It mademeal times
> much more enjoyable.always
>
>
>
> I cook a dinner meal most nights and the kids (8 and 10) almost
> choose to sit at the table and eat with us. (although they don'thave to)
> My husband works away from home part of the time and so often it'sjust the
> girls and I. I make some kind of meal most nights and we eachchoose from
> that meal or something else that is easy to prepare (frozenveggies, I keep
> cooked rice and pasta in the fridge, cereal, toast, fruit) Whenhe is home,
> he is home all day and he makes better connections with the girlsaway from
> the dinner table anyway. He really connects with them when theyplay
> computer games together or talk about some other interest thatthey share.
>
>
>
>
>
> Angela
>
> game-enthusiast@a...
>
>
>
> [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Joyce Fetteroll
On Mar 14, 2005, at 10:22 PM, Judy Anderson wrote:
want the same -- or at least conform to our wishes -- then we create
our own problems.
While my family does eat dinner together, we do it on the couch in
front of the TV. There's no "Could you pass the peas, please," modeled.
Nothing that anyone would see as "table manners." And yet my daughter
knows how to eat at a table in polite company. It didn't take years of
training. All it took were occasional Sunday dinners with the
Grandparents, eating at restaurants and so on. I didn't make her stay
at the table at the Grandparents'. But she absorbed up enough manners
that when she was ready to stay she knew how to ask for more food, how
to pass, how to use a napkin and so on and so on.
While I agree that family meals are a good opportunity to connect. And
connecting is a good goal. :-) But if you focus on the meals as being
the means to that goal, then making everyone eat dinner together
replaces the goal of connecting. The goal then become eating together
and it interferes with the goal of connecting. Does that make sense?
Connecting can't be forced or it becomes a playact. Or a struggle.
If, instead, the goal is connecting, then there are numerous ways we
can find to connect, numerous opportunities we can take advantage of.
And if they're things kids naturally want to do, then we don't need to
make them :-)
For instance, kids often love to talk on the phone to Daddy at work.
You could have a set time they could call each day to tell him what
they're up to. Again, that might not work in your particular situation
which is why it's hard to tell people what to do. But the point is to
think outside the box of family dinner = connection.
If you'd like to have family dinner then set your goal as having a time
that kids want to come to. Let them stay as long as they want. Don't
make dinner a training time for manners that they need to obey. That
will just make them want to avoid it. Model good manners. Help them be
polite but gently so. Don't expect obedience. Just help them. If they
want to bring games to play at the dinner table while they spend time
with you, don't let your idea of what family dinner "should" be
interfere with their attempts to connect with you.
(If there were specific problems you were having, we might have ideas
if you us about them.)
Joyce
> I feel strongly that family meals are anAnd when we decide how we want life to be and then try to make others
> important opportunity for parents to model good manners and for
> everyone in
> the family to connect and socialize, so eating meals together is a
> must for
> me.
want the same -- or at least conform to our wishes -- then we create
our own problems.
While my family does eat dinner together, we do it on the couch in
front of the TV. There's no "Could you pass the peas, please," modeled.
Nothing that anyone would see as "table manners." And yet my daughter
knows how to eat at a table in polite company. It didn't take years of
training. All it took were occasional Sunday dinners with the
Grandparents, eating at restaurants and so on. I didn't make her stay
at the table at the Grandparents'. But she absorbed up enough manners
that when she was ready to stay she knew how to ask for more food, how
to pass, how to use a napkin and so on and so on.
While I agree that family meals are a good opportunity to connect. And
connecting is a good goal. :-) But if you focus on the meals as being
the means to that goal, then making everyone eat dinner together
replaces the goal of connecting. The goal then become eating together
and it interferes with the goal of connecting. Does that make sense?
Connecting can't be forced or it becomes a playact. Or a struggle.
If, instead, the goal is connecting, then there are numerous ways we
can find to connect, numerous opportunities we can take advantage of.
And if they're things kids naturally want to do, then we don't need to
make them :-)
For instance, kids often love to talk on the phone to Daddy at work.
You could have a set time they could call each day to tell him what
they're up to. Again, that might not work in your particular situation
which is why it's hard to tell people what to do. But the point is to
think outside the box of family dinner = connection.
If you'd like to have family dinner then set your goal as having a time
that kids want to come to. Let them stay as long as they want. Don't
make dinner a training time for manners that they need to obey. That
will just make them want to avoid it. Model good manners. Help them be
polite but gently so. Don't expect obedience. Just help them. If they
want to bring games to play at the dinner table while they spend time
with you, don't let your idea of what family dinner "should" be
interfere with their attempts to connect with you.
(If there were specific problems you were having, we might have ideas
if you us about them.)
Joyce
Judy Anderson
Thank you for the link. I moved over here from Unschooling Discussion in
the hopes of finding what I need. Discussion wasn't what I needed, I needed
something geared more towards newbies, which I thought I might find here. I
will go over there, too, and check it out. Thank you.
Judy
-----Original Message-----
From: Danielle Conger [mailto:danielle.conger@...]
Sent: Tuesday, March 15, 2005 7:51 AM
To: [email protected]
Subject: Re: [unschoolingbasics] Re: Intro and structure
== I'm not sure what to envision. That is my problem. I hear tons of
what is
*not* done, but little of what *is* done. I know that I can't be doing
too
much wrong because everyone tells me what wonderful, happy children I
have.
How do you help your children recognize when they need sleep? ===
There's a list geared towards Unschooling small children called
AlwaysUnschooled where the discussion is specifically about how parents
of young children embrace an Unschooling lifestyle, covering issues like
sleeping, eating and tv as well as academics. You're welcome to ask
specific questions over there about how parents with children similar in
age to yours handle these situations and what it looks like for them.
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/AlwaysUnschooled/
~~Danielle
Emily (7), Julia (6), Sam (4.5)
http://www.danielleconger.com/Homeschool/Welcomehome.html
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
"With our thoughts, we make the world." ~~Buddha
ADVERTISEMENT
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
--
Yahoo! Groups Links
a.. To visit your group on the web, go to:
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/unschoolingbasics/
b.. To unsubscribe from this group, send an email to:
[email protected]
c.. Your use of Yahoo! Groups is subject to the Yahoo! Terms of Service.
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
the hopes of finding what I need. Discussion wasn't what I needed, I needed
something geared more towards newbies, which I thought I might find here. I
will go over there, too, and check it out. Thank you.
Judy
-----Original Message-----
From: Danielle Conger [mailto:danielle.conger@...]
Sent: Tuesday, March 15, 2005 7:51 AM
To: [email protected]
Subject: Re: [unschoolingbasics] Re: Intro and structure
== I'm not sure what to envision. That is my problem. I hear tons of
what is
*not* done, but little of what *is* done. I know that I can't be doing
too
much wrong because everyone tells me what wonderful, happy children I
have.
How do you help your children recognize when they need sleep? ===
There's a list geared towards Unschooling small children called
AlwaysUnschooled where the discussion is specifically about how parents
of young children embrace an Unschooling lifestyle, covering issues like
sleeping, eating and tv as well as academics. You're welcome to ask
specific questions over there about how parents with children similar in
age to yours handle these situations and what it looks like for them.
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/AlwaysUnschooled/
~~Danielle
Emily (7), Julia (6), Sam (4.5)
http://www.danielleconger.com/Homeschool/Welcomehome.html
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
"With our thoughts, we make the world." ~~Buddha
>Yahoo! Groups Sponsor
ADVERTISEMENT
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
--
Yahoo! Groups Links
a.. To visit your group on the web, go to:
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/unschoolingbasics/
b.. To unsubscribe from this group, send an email to:
[email protected]
c.. Your use of Yahoo! Groups is subject to the Yahoo! Terms of Service.
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Judy Anderson
I don't usually have a hard time getting the kids to come to the dinner
table. It's a matter of getting them to be patient and wait until it is
done cooking. It was all those studies that convinced me that eating
together is best (aside from the benefit of not having to reheat your food).
If it does indeed only apply to families that are apart most of the time,
perhaps I will relax on this. It does make sense, now that you point that
out. Maybe I can also adjust dinner and see if I can find a better time for
us to eat with trial and error. Moira gets home from school at 4:00, and
the first thing she asks every day is, "Can we have snack?" Maybe there
will be less tension about food if I make dinner to be ready then and after
dinner they can snack as they like until they go to bed. Thanks.
Judy
-----Original Message-----
From: Angela S [mailto:game-enthusiast@...]
Sent: Tuesday, March 15, 2005 7:59 AM
To: [email protected]
Subject: [unschoolingbasics] mealtimes
There seem to be a lot of studies out there about families who eat
together,
sharing meals and catching up on their days, how the kids do better in
school, have higher self esteem, or whatever. It never occurred to me
when
my kids were littler than those studies only apply to families that are
separated each day. It would then make sense that the kids are
emotionally
healthier when they make a connection with their families every day.
I used to try hard to make sure we had dinner together every night and
sometimes it was stressful for me. However, most unschooling families are
together for much/most of the day anyway. They all know what has happened
in each other's lives because they were a part of it. They don't need to
sit and tell each other about their day in the same way that people who
are
separated all day do. Letting go of some Brady Bunch idea of what dinner
should be was the best thing I ever did for our family. It made meal
times
much more enjoyable.
I cook a dinner meal most nights and the kids (8 and 10) almost always
choose to sit at the table and eat with us. (although they don't have to)
My husband works away from home part of the time and so often it's just
the
girls and I. I make some kind of meal most nights and we each choose from
that meal or something else that is easy to prepare (frozen veggies, I
keep
cooked rice and pasta in the fridge, cereal, toast, fruit) When he is
home,
he is home all day and he makes better connections with the girls away
from
the dinner table anyway. He really connects with them when they play
computer games together or talk about some other interest that they share.
Angela
game-enthusiast@...
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Yahoo! Groups Sponsor
ADVERTISEMENT
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
--
Yahoo! Groups Links
a.. To visit your group on the web, go to:
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/unschoolingbasics/
b.. To unsubscribe from this group, send an email to:
[email protected]
c.. Your use of Yahoo! Groups is subject to the Yahoo! Terms of Service.
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
table. It's a matter of getting them to be patient and wait until it is
done cooking. It was all those studies that convinced me that eating
together is best (aside from the benefit of not having to reheat your food).
If it does indeed only apply to families that are apart most of the time,
perhaps I will relax on this. It does make sense, now that you point that
out. Maybe I can also adjust dinner and see if I can find a better time for
us to eat with trial and error. Moira gets home from school at 4:00, and
the first thing she asks every day is, "Can we have snack?" Maybe there
will be less tension about food if I make dinner to be ready then and after
dinner they can snack as they like until they go to bed. Thanks.
Judy
-----Original Message-----
From: Angela S [mailto:game-enthusiast@...]
Sent: Tuesday, March 15, 2005 7:59 AM
To: [email protected]
Subject: [unschoolingbasics] mealtimes
There seem to be a lot of studies out there about families who eat
together,
sharing meals and catching up on their days, how the kids do better in
school, have higher self esteem, or whatever. It never occurred to me
when
my kids were littler than those studies only apply to families that are
separated each day. It would then make sense that the kids are
emotionally
healthier when they make a connection with their families every day.
I used to try hard to make sure we had dinner together every night and
sometimes it was stressful for me. However, most unschooling families are
together for much/most of the day anyway. They all know what has happened
in each other's lives because they were a part of it. They don't need to
sit and tell each other about their day in the same way that people who
are
separated all day do. Letting go of some Brady Bunch idea of what dinner
should be was the best thing I ever did for our family. It made meal
times
much more enjoyable.
I cook a dinner meal most nights and the kids (8 and 10) almost always
choose to sit at the table and eat with us. (although they don't have to)
My husband works away from home part of the time and so often it's just
the
girls and I. I make some kind of meal most nights and we each choose from
that meal or something else that is easy to prepare (frozen veggies, I
keep
cooked rice and pasta in the fridge, cereal, toast, fruit) When he is
home,
he is home all day and he makes better connections with the girls away
from
the dinner table anyway. He really connects with them when they play
computer games together or talk about some other interest that they share.
Angela
game-enthusiast@...
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soggyboysmom
We generally have a cooked meal at dinner time (when I get home from
work I'm usually hungry) and DH is a great cook. DS will usually
join us but sometimes he'd rather take his plate back to watch
whatever he was watching. We'll assist if needed (for instance, he
can't leave the plate and come back for a beverage because our two
big chow hound dogs will have a go at his dinner so we'll help carry
everything out at once). Mostly, I use dinner as a time to unwind
and connect before and after it. I'll talk with DS right when I get
home (BIG important thing - reconnecting with him immediately,
letting the mail sit, etc - is really important in creating a
peaceful evening for us) and I'll chat with DH as we finish eating
and pack up leftovers and stuff. Often, DH and I will be reading
magazine articles over dinner and sharing interesting bits with each
other.
work I'm usually hungry) and DH is a great cook. DS will usually
join us but sometimes he'd rather take his plate back to watch
whatever he was watching. We'll assist if needed (for instance, he
can't leave the plate and come back for a beverage because our two
big chow hound dogs will have a go at his dinner so we'll help carry
everything out at once). Mostly, I use dinner as a time to unwind
and connect before and after it. I'll talk with DS right when I get
home (BIG important thing - reconnecting with him immediately,
letting the mail sit, etc - is really important in creating a
peaceful evening for us) and I'll chat with DH as we finish eating
and pack up leftovers and stuff. Often, DH and I will be reading
magazine articles over dinner and sharing interesting bits with each
other.
TreeGoddess
On Mar 15, 2005, at 8:51 AM, Judy Anderson wrote:
-=-Thank you for the link. I moved over here from Unschooling
Discussion in the hopes of finding what I need. Discussion wasn't
what I needed, I needed something geared more towards newbies,
which I thought I might find here.-=-
Judy, this list is geared for the "basics" of unschooling and the other
list that you were just referred to is for unschooling families with
young children. However, you're still going to find "discussion" on
both of these lists. That's how ideas are presented and examined and
exchanged. You won't find a "how to" list to follow and check off.
Discussion *is* the purpose of these lists. :)
-Tracy-
"Peace *will* enter your life, but you
need to clear a spot for her to sit down."
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Judy Anderson
Hmm, I think I may have worded it poorly. I meant the UnschoolingDiscussion
list didn't seem to be what I needed. It seemed more geared towards
veterans. I understand that discussion will be on all the lists. I just
abbreviated the name of the other group. Sorry for the confusion.
Judy
-----Original Message-----
From: TreeGoddess [mailto:treegoddess@...]
Sent: Tuesday, March 15, 2005 9:46 AM
To: [email protected]
Subject: Re: [unschoolingbasics] Re: Intro and structure
list didn't seem to be what I needed. It seemed more geared towards
veterans. I understand that discussion will be on all the lists. I just
abbreviated the name of the other group. Sorry for the confusion.
Judy
-----Original Message-----
From: TreeGoddess [mailto:treegoddess@...]
Sent: Tuesday, March 15, 2005 9:46 AM
To: [email protected]
Subject: Re: [unschoolingbasics] Re: Intro and structure
On Mar 15, 2005, at 8:51 AM, Judy Anderson wrote:
-=-Thank you for the link. I moved over here from Unschooling
Discussion in the hopes of finding what I need. Discussion wasn't
what I needed, I needed something geared more towards newbies,
which I thought I might find here.-=-
Judy, this list is geared for the "basics" of unschooling and the other
list that you were just referred to is for unschooling families with
young children. However, you're still going to find "discussion" on
both of these lists. That's how ideas are presented and examined and
exchanged. You won't find a "how to" list to follow and check off.
Discussion *is* the purpose of these lists. :)
-Tracy-
"Peace *will* enter your life, but you
need to clear a spot for her to sit down."
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Yahoo! Groups Sponsor
ADVERTISEMENT
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Yahoo! Groups Links
a.. To visit your group on the web, go to:
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b.. To unsubscribe from this group, send an email to:
[email protected]
c.. Your use of Yahoo! Groups is subject to the Yahoo! Terms of Service.
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