Robyn Coburn

<<<<<some children demand structure.>>>>

People post this idea quite a lot. I have mentioned it myself.

But what the heck does it look like? Seriously, how does a child "demand
structure"? Or how do you know if they are doing so?

Touching on Ren's (I think) reply, how can the parent be sure that the
demand, whatever it looks like, is not just a child resisting healing from
school damage and the self-deprecation that school can cause?

What might "demanding structure" look like for a child who had never been to
school?

I'm wondering, really I am, I'm not being facetious or tricky, because I
have absolutely zero personal experience of a child demanding structure, or
any kind of timetable assistance from me.

Robyn L. Coburn

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Rodney and Rebecca Atherton

>What might "demanding structure" look like for a child who had never been
>to school?

Here, it looked like an 11 year old who wanted me to make report cards and
administer tests.

Rebecca
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Too often we give children answers to remember rather than problems to
solve. -Roger Lewin

scrapgal

--- In [email protected], "Robyn Coburn"
<dezigna@c...> wrote:
> <<<<<some children demand structure.>>>>
>
> People post this idea quite a lot. I have mentioned it myself.
>
> But what the heck does it look like? Seriously, how does a
child "demand
> structure"? Or how do you know if they are doing so?

My son is one of those that "demands structure." By that I mean he
needs to have his day laid out for him. He doesn't want me
to "structure" his day, but he wants to know what his day is going
to entail. What are we doing? Where are we going? Keon falls into
that broad spectrum of autistic (very high functioning - auspergers
end more than autistic end if you understand the spectrum) Anyway,
he does much better if he knows how the day is going to work out.
He isn't very easy to disengage from what he expects to do and he
isn't always keen to spontenaiety. Rarely can I say, "Hey, let's go
do this!" Now if it is going to see Jalen at Ren's house he is all
for it LOL! and most of the time I can suggest the park as an
alternative to what is already in our day, but not always. And
doing things out of order isn't a good idea either. For instance if
I say we need to go to Foodworld and Target and I go to Target first
it doesn't always go well. Even explaining why we can't go buy ice
cream and leave it in the car while we go into Target because it
will melt just "doesn't compute." I *said* we were going to
Foodworld and Target not Target and Foodworld (and I better not stop
at Pier One between!) So I have to be careful how I phrase things,
so that I don't get myself in trouble!

Now when we pulled our girls out of school, they each had to work
through the "what are we going to do today" thing. They each
expected me to plan out their days, but the longer that we are free
from schedules the less they have asked for "structure." I still
get asked, "Are we going to do anything today?" but it is more
of "do we have anything planned that I need to get dressed for?"
LOL!!

Michelle

TreeGoddess

On Mar 12, 2005, at 11:07 AM, scrapgal wrote:

-=-My son is one of those that "demands structure." By that
I mean he needs to have his day laid out for him. He doesn't
want me to "structure" his day, but he wants to know what his
day is going to entail. What are we doing? Where are we going?-=-

This was just being discussed over at the SHINE list and this was
pretty common. Not the "structure" part, but rather just giving our
children the info that they needed (the daily "plan" [if any] along
with who, where, when, what, how, why, etc.). Many of the posters were
surprised to consider that ALL children didn't want/need that info. :)

-Tracy-

"Peace *will* enter your life, but you
need to clear a spot for her to sit down."

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Angela S

<<<My son is one of those that "demands structure." By that I mean he
needs to have his day laid out for him. He doesn't want me
to "structure" his day, but he wants to know what his day is going
to entail. What are we doing? Where are we going?>>>



I am glad that you clarified what you mean by demanding structure. How you
meant it wasn't at all what I was thinking.



Angela

game-enthusiast@...



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