Feeling Overwhelmed
Kelly Ferry
Hi,
I haven't posted here in quite a while, though I read daily. My son
Tyler is almost 13, and this is our first year homeschooling. We've
been enjoying the absolute freedom of deschooling, and learning how to
be together on a daily basis again.
This morning he came to me and said that he's feeling concerned that
he's not doing enough for homeschooling and that he might need to go
back to school. Truthfully we haven't been "doing" much in schoolish
terms, which I explained to him. We've been in a healing phase, and
working on letting go of thinking in school's terms. I asked what he
feels like he's missing, and he couldn't really articulate it, just
that he feels like he's not doing what he "should" be doing.
We talked about the things that made him and all of us so unhappy
about school, and that going back he'd need to realize that those
things would still be present, that he wouldn't have the power to
change school, only his own reactions to school. Learning/living at
home and in the world, he has the power to change many things. He can
start something new. He can stop something that isn't fulfilling. He
can try different things that he might not have the time or energy to
do if he had to spend so much time in the classrooms and doing
homework again.
He seemed to understand what I said, but he's definitely getting to
the yearning phase. I want to help, but know from experience that any
suggestions I make are generally met with a negative response. We've
signed up to get together with some other unschooling kids for 10
weeks in April and May to do some round table civics type discussions,
and to talk about creative ways math is a part of our lives. He's also
doing karate, but without much joy anymore.
I'm encouraging him to make a list (with me) of things he's interested
in, and the different ways we could go about getting involved, and I'm
putting my own desires on the list as well. Other than that, I'm
feeling a bit at a loss. Maybe it's just the winter blahs that's
making me feel stuck. Spring will hold all kinds of promise for new
growth.
I guess I'm looking for some encouragement to keep on keeping on, and
maybe if anyone has any suggestions for how to help him without
pushing. My strewing so far isn't making any connections.
Thanks so much,
Kelly
I haven't posted here in quite a while, though I read daily. My son
Tyler is almost 13, and this is our first year homeschooling. We've
been enjoying the absolute freedom of deschooling, and learning how to
be together on a daily basis again.
This morning he came to me and said that he's feeling concerned that
he's not doing enough for homeschooling and that he might need to go
back to school. Truthfully we haven't been "doing" much in schoolish
terms, which I explained to him. We've been in a healing phase, and
working on letting go of thinking in school's terms. I asked what he
feels like he's missing, and he couldn't really articulate it, just
that he feels like he's not doing what he "should" be doing.
We talked about the things that made him and all of us so unhappy
about school, and that going back he'd need to realize that those
things would still be present, that he wouldn't have the power to
change school, only his own reactions to school. Learning/living at
home and in the world, he has the power to change many things. He can
start something new. He can stop something that isn't fulfilling. He
can try different things that he might not have the time or energy to
do if he had to spend so much time in the classrooms and doing
homework again.
He seemed to understand what I said, but he's definitely getting to
the yearning phase. I want to help, but know from experience that any
suggestions I make are generally met with a negative response. We've
signed up to get together with some other unschooling kids for 10
weeks in April and May to do some round table civics type discussions,
and to talk about creative ways math is a part of our lives. He's also
doing karate, but without much joy anymore.
I'm encouraging him to make a list (with me) of things he's interested
in, and the different ways we could go about getting involved, and I'm
putting my own desires on the list as well. Other than that, I'm
feeling a bit at a loss. Maybe it's just the winter blahs that's
making me feel stuck. Spring will hold all kinds of promise for new
growth.
I guess I'm looking for some encouragement to keep on keeping on, and
maybe if anyone has any suggestions for how to help him without
pushing. My strewing so far isn't making any connections.
Thanks so much,
Kelly
Syndi
HI Kelly!
We are only into our 2nd year of unschooling here, ds 11 and 7. I
feel after reading your post that your son is still letting go of
school thoughts. That can take some time to do. Being in school has
a way of getting ahold of our minds like that. Even after 2 years
there are times I am still dealing with it!
Have you read The Teenage Liberation Handbook? It sure made me
feel better about myself, as I left school as a junior. The book is
full of ideas for kids his age and older on what they are capable of,
things he may not of even thought of yet.
Hang in there, spring is almost here!
Syndi
We are only into our 2nd year of unschooling here, ds 11 and 7. I
feel after reading your post that your son is still letting go of
school thoughts. That can take some time to do. Being in school has
a way of getting ahold of our minds like that. Even after 2 years
there are times I am still dealing with it!
Have you read The Teenage Liberation Handbook? It sure made me
feel better about myself, as I left school as a junior. The book is
full of ideas for kids his age and older on what they are capable of,
things he may not of even thought of yet.
Hang in there, spring is almost here!
Syndi
Kelly Ferry
Thank you Sydni,
Yes, we have read that book--out loud together while making the
decision to homeschool. I was thinking yesterday that it might be a
good idea to revisit it!
Last night I went to a workshop for homeschooling mom's called
*Inspire the Desire--how to avoid burnout* and it really helped me to
put the focus back on myself. It's important for me to not try to fix
everything for him, but make myself available. I have to keep persuing
my own passions/dreams and inviting him to join in. Take care of
myself. The pressure doesn't feel so high this morning.
Spring is on the way right? No matter what the foot of fresh snow tells me? Hee.
Cheers!
Kelly
Yes, we have read that book--out loud together while making the
decision to homeschool. I was thinking yesterday that it might be a
good idea to revisit it!
Last night I went to a workshop for homeschooling mom's called
*Inspire the Desire--how to avoid burnout* and it really helped me to
put the focus back on myself. It's important for me to not try to fix
everything for him, but make myself available. I have to keep persuing
my own passions/dreams and inviting him to join in. Take care of
myself. The pressure doesn't feel so high this morning.
Spring is on the way right? No matter what the foot of fresh snow tells me? Hee.
Cheers!
Kelly
On Wed, 02 Mar 2005 11:58:06 -0000, Syndi <justlikemama@...> wrote:
>
>
> HI Kelly!
> We are only into our 2nd year of unschooling here, ds 11 and 7. I
> feel after reading your post that your son is still letting go of
> school thoughts. That can take some time to do. Being in school has
> a way of getting ahold of our minds like that. Even after 2 years
> there are times I am still dealing with it!
> Have you read The Teenage Liberation Handbook? It sure made me
> feel better about myself, as I left school as a junior. The book is
> full of ideas for kids his age and older on what they are capable of,
> things he may not of even thought of yet.
> Hang in there, spring is almost here!
> Syndi
>
>
>
> Yahoo! Groups Links
>
>
>
>
>