curious
Liz Stevens
I wonder when people say they are home schooling or unschooling and their children are not of school age. What does that mean? That they are adopting these philosophies now and will proceed with it as they get older? I mean aren't we really all homeschooling until our children go to public school?
Liz
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Liz
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
J. Stauffer
<<<I mean aren't we really all homeschooling until our children go to public school?>>>
Most people I know have their children in daycare by 6 months of age, then pre-school, then off to public. So I certainly don't think of them as homeschooling.
I think when people of pre-school age children describe themselves as homeschooling, they have adopted a philosophy and plan to simply live their lives seemlessly.
Julie S.
Most people I know have their children in daycare by 6 months of age, then pre-school, then off to public. So I certainly don't think of them as homeschooling.
I think when people of pre-school age children describe themselves as homeschooling, they have adopted a philosophy and plan to simply live their lives seemlessly.
Julie S.
----- Original Message -----
From: Liz Stevens
To: [email protected]
Sent: Monday, February 28, 2005 7:59 AM
Subject: [unschoolingbasics] curious
I wonder when people say they are home schooling or unschooling and their children are not of school age. What does that mean? That they are adopting these philosophies now and will proceed with it as they get older? I mean aren't we really all homeschooling until our children go to public school?
Liz
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
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TreeGoddess
On Feb 28, 2005, at 8:59 AM, Liz Stevens wrote:
-=-I mean aren't we really all homeschooling until our children
go to public school?-=-
Not in my experience. We have been living an unschooling lifestyle for
the past two years even though my son could have only started
kindergarten this past September. Lots of my friends had their
children in preschool at age three -- and I've heard of people
enrolling their TWO year olds in "pre-preschool", but that's just
daycare IMO.
For us, unschooling isn't *only* about not doing school or
school-at-home. It also involves a lot of trust and freedom and joyful
living. Having said that . . . I say we've been unschooling for two
years because during the time prior to kindergarten enrollment age I
*could* have been sitting down with my DS and making him do pages in
Pre-K workbooks, making him write the alphabet, making him sound words
out, making him do science experiments with me, limiting his TV viewing
time until after his "homework" was finished, etc. As it turns out, he
did (and enjoys) doing all of those things on his own that I could have
*made* him do for "school" (but we don't limit TV). Instead, he
experiences freedom and joy and fun when he chooses to do each of those
things and sooooo much more. :)
-Tracy-
"Yes, Peace *will* enter your life, but you
need to clear a spot for her to sit down."
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Liz Stevens
**
Most people I know have their children in daycare by 6 months of age, then pre-school, then off to public. So I certainly don't think of them as homeschooling.
I think when people of pre-school age children describe themselves as homeschooling, they have adopted a philosophy and plan to simply live their lives seemlessly.**
That is so sad! I honestly do not know one person who has had their children in full time daycare since such a young age. Most of my friends were/are SAHM until the kids reach school age when they either continue SAH or get a job.
Liz
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Most people I know have their children in daycare by 6 months of age, then pre-school, then off to public. So I certainly don't think of them as homeschooling.
I think when people of pre-school age children describe themselves as homeschooling, they have adopted a philosophy and plan to simply live their lives seemlessly.**
That is so sad! I honestly do not know one person who has had their children in full time daycare since such a young age. Most of my friends were/are SAHM until the kids reach school age when they either continue SAH or get a job.
Liz
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Sylvia Toyama
Most people I know have their children in daycare by 6 months of age, then pre-school, then off to public. So I certainly don't think of them as homeschooling.
****
My older two were in daycare in infancy -- Will at 9 mos, Andy at 3 mos. They were both in home daycare. Will was in preschool at 30 mo, followed by public school. With Andy I quit work when he was 18 mos old. He did a short stint -- about 6 mos -- in preschool while I worked at a daycare center when he was 3. Dan's never been anywhere but home.
It's funny how Andy will talk about his few months in pre-school and tell people he hates school. His most vivid memory was that another child bit him -- repeatedly. Andy was that kid's favorite victim. His story has been enough to convince Dan that he, too, hates school.
Sylvia
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[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
****
My older two were in daycare in infancy -- Will at 9 mos, Andy at 3 mos. They were both in home daycare. Will was in preschool at 30 mo, followed by public school. With Andy I quit work when he was 18 mos old. He did a short stint -- about 6 mos -- in preschool while I worked at a daycare center when he was 3. Dan's never been anywhere but home.
It's funny how Andy will talk about his few months in pre-school and tell people he hates school. His most vivid memory was that another child bit him -- repeatedly. Andy was that kid's favorite victim. His story has been enough to convince Dan that he, too, hates school.
Sylvia
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[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Katy Jennings
<<Most people I know have their children in daycare by 6 months of age, then pre-school, then off to public. So I certainly don't think of them as homeschooling.>>
<<That is so sad! I honestly do not know one person who has had their children in full time daycare since such a young age. Most of my friends were/are SAHM until the kids reach school age when they either continue SAH or get a job. >>
I have been debating whether or not to respond to this.
I finally decided that I will try to. I consider that my son (9yo) has been unschooled his whole life, though in the beginning I didn't know that there was a word for it. He has also been in daycare (a childcare home) since he was 6 weeks old. I can hear the gasps. I am a single parent, I have to work (yes, I guess that I could be on welfare, and I did that for a while, but I do find my job rewarding). I have a job that allows me to work 3 long days a week, so that I still work full-time, but am able to have 4 full free days with my son. I worked really hard to find a childcare home that is loving and caring, it really has become an extended family. It is not a school-type situation. I also try to have my son with family as much as possible, when I work weekends he spends them with his grandma or his uncle. Not all daycares situations are schooly, and not everyone can be a stay at home mom (or dad). I don't find my situation sad at all. Though I will admit that I may be a little defensive. :~}
Katy
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
<<That is so sad! I honestly do not know one person who has had their children in full time daycare since such a young age. Most of my friends were/are SAHM until the kids reach school age when they either continue SAH or get a job. >>
I have been debating whether or not to respond to this.
I finally decided that I will try to. I consider that my son (9yo) has been unschooled his whole life, though in the beginning I didn't know that there was a word for it. He has also been in daycare (a childcare home) since he was 6 weeks old. I can hear the gasps. I am a single parent, I have to work (yes, I guess that I could be on welfare, and I did that for a while, but I do find my job rewarding). I have a job that allows me to work 3 long days a week, so that I still work full-time, but am able to have 4 full free days with my son. I worked really hard to find a childcare home that is loving and caring, it really has become an extended family. It is not a school-type situation. I also try to have my son with family as much as possible, when I work weekends he spends them with his grandma or his uncle. Not all daycares situations are schooly, and not everyone can be a stay at home mom (or dad). I don't find my situation sad at all. Though I will admit that I may be a little defensive. :~}
Katy
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Jenny Altenbach
> <<<I mean aren't we really all homeschooling until our children go toThis question came up recently on our local unschooling group too.
> public school?>>>
Here's what I wrote about it:
I feel that unschooling has begun in our home long before the kids are
school aged. My firstborn will be 5 in May and my second is 18 months.
I am very much an attachment parent, and when ds was little I was very
controlling about tv watching and food and so on. I was in a great AP
moms group that I met through La Leche (we started the NM breastfeeding
calendar, if anyone's seen it). But, like some of you have experienced,
as the kids got older all the moms started wanting more and more
control. Of the original moms group, three of them now do time-outs
regularly, one bans all TV and another bans all sugar. Another mom I
know who is very AP with her babies actually spanks her older ones! I
don't get it. I stopped doing time outs when ds was 2 but I was still
trying to control TV and food.
Another thing I was doing was actively trying to *teach* him things. He
was a very verbal baby and toddler and everyone was going on about how
intelligent he was so I had a strong impulse to try to make him learn
stuff. You know, I'd show him flash cards or try to get him to
recognize words (being the natural unschooler that he is he totally
resisted, which only frustrated me because I knew he could do it). I
also tried to take him on homeschooling field trips, but he hated those
too, especially ones where there was an activity to do where he had to
follow instructions.
Over the last couple of years I have learned more about radical
unschooling and I have really come to understand how valuable it is to
give children control over their own bodies and minds. I don't do
anything "schooly" with him any more and he has much more control over
his time and what he eats. So he hasn't been unschooled all his life,
but I would say that a definite shift occurred in my parenting when he
was 2 going on 3. Perhaps you could say that's when *I* became an
unschooler.
Maybe other parents already instinctively did this with their kids, so
they wouldn't have thought to call it unschooling until school age
came. But for me, the total respect for children that radical
unschooling embraces was not something I understood right away.
Fortunately for dd, she has benefited from the experience I had with ds
and she will be, in my mind, unschooled from birth.
Jenny
TreeGoddess
On Feb 28, 2005, at 8:56 PM, Katy Jennings wrote:
-=-I am a single parent, I have to work (yes, I guess that I
could be on welfare, and I did that for a while, but I do find
my job rewarding). I have a job that allows me to work 3 long
days a week, so that I still work full-time, but am able to have
4 full free days with my son. I worked really hard to find a
childcare home that is loving and caring, it really has become
an extended family. It is not a school-type situation. I also
try to have my son with family as much as possible, when I work
weekends he spends them with his grandma or his uncle.-=-
You gotta do what you gotta do sometimes and it sounds like you were
able to find a great solution for your family, Katy. :)
-=-Not all daycares situations are schooly, and not everyone can
be a stay at home mom (or dad).-=-
No, they aren't. The big difference with your situation is that you
didn't put your son in daycare with the *intention* of him being
"educated", and then to be moved up to being "educated" in Preschool,
etc. He needed a caregiver so that you could make a living for the two
of you. Very different situation IMO and it's nothing that you should
apologize for. I don't think that you'll hear gasps from this group
with regard to your life situation. I don't think that this list
comes across as "home at all costs". Rather, how to make your
unschooling life possible.
Peace to you,
-Tracy-
"Every moment spent in unhappiness is a moment of
happiness lost." -- Leo Buscaglia
Ren Allen
"Not all daycares situations are schooly,
and not everyone can be a stay at home mom (or dad). I don't find my
situation
sad at all. Though I will admit that I may be a little
defensive. :~}"
Don't be defensive!!:) I think you're an incredibly aware parent,
finding such a creative solution for allowing your child to stay out
of school.
Not everyone has a full-time partner in this adventure. I'm always
encouraging single parents to look at other options if their
children don't want to be in school! I think you've found a really
great one.
I was fortunate enough to have plenty of support for my 6 month
stint as a single parent. I know that even if something happened to
my dh or I, my children could continue their unschooling adventures.
It's great to read about single parents making things work.
A close friend here in Pensacola is trying to come up with solutions
for keeping her dd out of school....she's asking other homeschooling
parents to babysit. Right now she's in a very small daycare
situation.
Not all parents with children in school or daycare are part of
mainstream practices.
Some of my good friends are huge supporters of unschooling but their
children have chosen school for right now. Their children don't have
all the baggage that most school kids do, because their parents
counter all that crap. It's working for them. The children know they
can come home any time, that grades don't matter, and that the
parents will support their interests.
School and daycare don't have to be horrible for children, it
depends.
Ren
and not everyone can be a stay at home mom (or dad). I don't find my
situation
sad at all. Though I will admit that I may be a little
defensive. :~}"
Don't be defensive!!:) I think you're an incredibly aware parent,
finding such a creative solution for allowing your child to stay out
of school.
Not everyone has a full-time partner in this adventure. I'm always
encouraging single parents to look at other options if their
children don't want to be in school! I think you've found a really
great one.
I was fortunate enough to have plenty of support for my 6 month
stint as a single parent. I know that even if something happened to
my dh or I, my children could continue their unschooling adventures.
It's great to read about single parents making things work.
A close friend here in Pensacola is trying to come up with solutions
for keeping her dd out of school....she's asking other homeschooling
parents to babysit. Right now she's in a very small daycare
situation.
Not all parents with children in school or daycare are part of
mainstream practices.
Some of my good friends are huge supporters of unschooling but their
children have chosen school for right now. Their children don't have
all the baggage that most school kids do, because their parents
counter all that crap. It's working for them. The children know they
can come home any time, that grades don't matter, and that the
parents will support their interests.
School and daycare don't have to be horrible for children, it
depends.
Ren
April M
I am on the other end of this...I am the day-care provider for a delightful
8 year old homeschool girl. Her mom is a single parent....she started coming
here a little over two years ago, when she became "school age" and her mom
didn't want to send her to school. She works odd hours, usually late
afternoon into the evening. She is just a part of what we do each day. I
have babysat for families that didn't 'need' to work and I rarely do that
any more. I much prefer the single parent who is committed to doing what's
best for their child. She gets a lot of flack for homeschooling and working
minimal hours (she works just enough to live on and get insurance) but it
works great for all of us. I have a great deal of respect for what she is
doing. She is giving her child a gift beyond measure. And I get to have a
little girl around again and my youngest has a playmate...we all benefit.
~April
Mom to Kate-18, Lisa-16, Karl-13, & Ben-9.
*REACH Homeschool Group, an inclusive group meeting throughout Oakland
County http://www.homeschoolingonashoestring.com/REACH_home.html
* Michigan Unschoolers...
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/michigan_unschoolers/
*Michigan Youth Theater...Acting On Our Dreams...
http://www.michiganyouththeater.org/
"What one knows is, in youth, of little moment; they know enough who know
how to learn."
Henry Brooks Adams (1838-1918)
-----Original Message-----
From: Katy Jennings [mailto:kjennings95@...]
Sent: Monday, February 28, 2005 8:56 PM
To: [email protected]
Subject: Re: [unschoolingbasics] Re:curious
<<Most people I know have their children in daycare by 6 months of age,
then pre-school, then off to public. So I certainly don't think of them as
homeschooling.>>
<<That is so sad! I honestly do not know one person who has had their
children in full time daycare since such a young age. Most of my friends
were/are SAHM until the kids reach school age when they either continue SAH
or get a job. >>
I have been debating whether or not to respond to this.
I finally decided that I will try to. I consider that my son (9yo) has
been unschooled his whole life, though in the beginning I didn't know that
there was a word for it. He has also been in daycare (a childcare home)
since he was 6 weeks old. I can hear the gasps. I am a single parent, I
have to work (yes, I guess that I could be on welfare, and I did that for a
while, but I do find my job rewarding). I have a job that allows me to work
3 long days a week, so that I still work full-time, but am able to have 4
full free days with my son. I worked really hard to find a childcare home
that is loving and caring, it really has become an extended family. It is
not a school-type situation. I also try to have my son with family as much
as possible, when I work weekends he spends them with his grandma or his
uncle. Not all daycares situations are schooly, and not everyone can be a
stay at home mom (or dad). I don't find my situation sad at all. Though I
will admit that I may be a little defensive. :~}
Katy
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
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a.. To visit your group on the web, go to:
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c.. Your use of Yahoo! Groups is subject to the Yahoo! Terms of Service.
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
8 year old homeschool girl. Her mom is a single parent....she started coming
here a little over two years ago, when she became "school age" and her mom
didn't want to send her to school. She works odd hours, usually late
afternoon into the evening. She is just a part of what we do each day. I
have babysat for families that didn't 'need' to work and I rarely do that
any more. I much prefer the single parent who is committed to doing what's
best for their child. She gets a lot of flack for homeschooling and working
minimal hours (she works just enough to live on and get insurance) but it
works great for all of us. I have a great deal of respect for what she is
doing. She is giving her child a gift beyond measure. And I get to have a
little girl around again and my youngest has a playmate...we all benefit.
~April
Mom to Kate-18, Lisa-16, Karl-13, & Ben-9.
*REACH Homeschool Group, an inclusive group meeting throughout Oakland
County http://www.homeschoolingonashoestring.com/REACH_home.html
* Michigan Unschoolers...
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/michigan_unschoolers/
*Michigan Youth Theater...Acting On Our Dreams...
http://www.michiganyouththeater.org/
"What one knows is, in youth, of little moment; they know enough who know
how to learn."
Henry Brooks Adams (1838-1918)
-----Original Message-----
From: Katy Jennings [mailto:kjennings95@...]
Sent: Monday, February 28, 2005 8:56 PM
To: [email protected]
Subject: Re: [unschoolingbasics] Re:curious
<<Most people I know have their children in daycare by 6 months of age,
then pre-school, then off to public. So I certainly don't think of them as
homeschooling.>>
<<That is so sad! I honestly do not know one person who has had their
children in full time daycare since such a young age. Most of my friends
were/are SAHM until the kids reach school age when they either continue SAH
or get a job. >>
I have been debating whether or not to respond to this.
I finally decided that I will try to. I consider that my son (9yo) has
been unschooled his whole life, though in the beginning I didn't know that
there was a word for it. He has also been in daycare (a childcare home)
since he was 6 weeks old. I can hear the gasps. I am a single parent, I
have to work (yes, I guess that I could be on welfare, and I did that for a
while, but I do find my job rewarding). I have a job that allows me to work
3 long days a week, so that I still work full-time, but am able to have 4
full free days with my son. I worked really hard to find a childcare home
that is loving and caring, it really has become an extended family. It is
not a school-type situation. I also try to have my son with family as much
as possible, when I work weekends he spends them with his grandma or his
uncle. Not all daycares situations are schooly, and not everyone can be a
stay at home mom (or dad). I don't find my situation sad at all. Though I
will admit that I may be a little defensive. :~}
Katy
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
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Yahoo! Groups Links
a.. To visit your group on the web, go to:
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b.. To unsubscribe from this group, send an email to:
[email protected]
c.. Your use of Yahoo! Groups is subject to the Yahoo! Terms of Service.
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Liz Stevens
**But for me, the total respect for children that radical
unschooling embraces was not something I understood right away. **
thanks for explaining it to me :)
Liz
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
unschooling embraces was not something I understood right away. **
thanks for explaining it to me :)
Liz
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Katy Jennings
Thank you all for your words.
I have always felt very confident about my parenting, my decisions about my son's education, etc. But when it comes to more personal issues, I have a lot to work on. Over the last few years I have really worked on being more mindful, less angry (I was such an angry young person), and less defensive. I have succeeded wonderfully with the first two! :-} I am still working on it though, and I appreciate all of your thoughtfulness.
I have often found parenting sites and lists where I for the most part agreed with the parenting philosophy, only to find that they were very anti- working parent, single parent, daycare, etc, so I ended up getting upset and leaving. I have come a long way in the area of not letting things get to me, but I do still get defensive sometimes.
I think that many people label daycare, working parents, etc as bad, when really it is the mindset of the parents that they have issues with. I know some stay-at-home parents who are definitely NOT the kind of loving, compassionate, involved parent that I want to be. Same with working parents. I think it bears repeating: It is the mindset of the parents.
Thanks for your words and support, and for letting me vent in that last email!
Namaste,
Katy
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
I have always felt very confident about my parenting, my decisions about my son's education, etc. But when it comes to more personal issues, I have a lot to work on. Over the last few years I have really worked on being more mindful, less angry (I was such an angry young person), and less defensive. I have succeeded wonderfully with the first two! :-} I am still working on it though, and I appreciate all of your thoughtfulness.
I have often found parenting sites and lists where I for the most part agreed with the parenting philosophy, only to find that they were very anti- working parent, single parent, daycare, etc, so I ended up getting upset and leaving. I have come a long way in the area of not letting things get to me, but I do still get defensive sometimes.
I think that many people label daycare, working parents, etc as bad, when really it is the mindset of the parents that they have issues with. I know some stay-at-home parents who are definitely NOT the kind of loving, compassionate, involved parent that I want to be. Same with working parents. I think it bears repeating: It is the mindset of the parents.
Thanks for your words and support, and for letting me vent in that last email!
Namaste,
Katy
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Maria Dorian
Katy, I must say that I, too, find it sad that people leave their
children in daycare all day. HOWEVER, what would a mom do if she
lost her husband? Unless she were to have a really good life
insurance policy, she would probably have to work and send her kids
to daycare or school. So you being a single mom doesn't count, in
my opinion. There are women, however, who have done a crappy job
raising their kids and can now not stand who they have become so
they send them to school/daycare all day out of not wanting to deal
with them. Either that or the nice car/house is way more important
than actually BEING and hanging out with their own kids. I find
this sad, yes, but if I were in your shoes, I would be doing the
exact same as you. Kuddos on responding and having a responce....
Maria
--- In [email protected], "Katy Jennings"
<kjennings95@m...> wrote:
think of them as homeschooling.>>
my friends were/are SAHM until the kids reach school age when they
either continue SAH or get a job. >>
didn't know that there was a word for it. He has also been in
daycare (a childcare home) since he was 6 weeks old. I can hear the
gasps. I am a single parent, I have to work (yes, I guess that I
could be on welfare, and I did that for a while, but I do find my
job rewarding). I have a job that allows me to work 3 long days a
week, so that I still work full-time, but am able to have 4 full
free days with my son. I worked really hard to find a childcare
home that is loving and caring, it really has become an extended
family. It is not a school-type situation. I also try to have my
son with family as much as possible, when I work weekends he spends
them with his grandma or his uncle. Not all daycares situations are
schooly, and not everyone can be a stay at home mom (or dad). I
don't find my situation sad at all. Though I will admit that I may
be a little defensive. :~}
children in daycare all day. HOWEVER, what would a mom do if she
lost her husband? Unless she were to have a really good life
insurance policy, she would probably have to work and send her kids
to daycare or school. So you being a single mom doesn't count, in
my opinion. There are women, however, who have done a crappy job
raising their kids and can now not stand who they have become so
they send them to school/daycare all day out of not wanting to deal
with them. Either that or the nice car/house is way more important
than actually BEING and hanging out with their own kids. I find
this sad, yes, but if I were in your shoes, I would be doing the
exact same as you. Kuddos on responding and having a responce....
Maria
--- In [email protected], "Katy Jennings"
<kjennings95@m...> wrote:
>age, then pre-school, then off to public. So I certainly don't
> <<Most people I know have their children in daycare by 6 months of
think of them as homeschooling.>>
>their children in full time daycare since such a young age. Most of
> <<That is so sad! I honestly do not know one person who has had
my friends were/are SAHM until the kids reach school age when they
either continue SAH or get a job. >>
>(9yo) has been unschooled his whole life, though in the beginning I
>
> I have been debating whether or not to respond to this.
> I finally decided that I will try to. I consider that my son
didn't know that there was a word for it. He has also been in
daycare (a childcare home) since he was 6 weeks old. I can hear the
gasps. I am a single parent, I have to work (yes, I guess that I
could be on welfare, and I did that for a while, but I do find my
job rewarding). I have a job that allows me to work 3 long days a
week, so that I still work full-time, but am able to have 4 full
free days with my son. I worked really hard to find a childcare
home that is loving and caring, it really has become an extended
family. It is not a school-type situation. I also try to have my
son with family as much as possible, when I work weekends he spends
them with his grandma or his uncle. Not all daycares situations are
schooly, and not everyone can be a stay at home mom (or dad). I
don't find my situation sad at all. Though I will admit that I may
be a little defensive. :~}
> Katy
>
>
>
> [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Elisa Allender
You are an awesome woman and a much needed blessing to that mom I am sure!!
:o)
Elisa
:o)
Elisa
----- Original Message -----
From: April M
To: [email protected]
Sent: Tuesday, March 01, 2005 11:41 AM
Subject: RE: [unschoolingbasics] Re:curious
I am on the other end of this...I am the day-care provider for a delightful
8 year old homeschool girl. Her mom is a single parent....she started coming
here a little over two years ago, when she became "school age" and her mom
didn't want to send her to school. She works odd hours, usually late
afternoon into the evening. She is just a part of what we do each day. I
have babysat for families that didn't 'need' to work and I rarely do that
any more. I much prefer the single parent who is committed to doing what's
best for their child. She gets a lot of flack for homeschooling and working
minimal hours (she works just enough to live on and get insurance) but it
works great for all of us. I have a great deal of respect for what she is
doing. She is giving her child a gift beyond measure. And I get to have a
little girl around again and my youngest has a playmate...we all benefit.
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
puppyrat4750
> Katy, I must say that I, too, find it sad that people leave theirchildren in daycare all day. ...........There are women, however,
who have done a crappy job raising their kids and can now not stand
who they have become so they send them to school/daycare all day out
of not wanting to deal with them. Either that or the nice car/house
is way more important than actually BEING and hanging out with their
own kids. >>>>>>>>>
Maria,
I certainly appreciate your feelings about being able to stay home
with your kids, but you're not being fair to those of us in totally
different situations.
I was in the military for over 15 years when, at the age of 36,
found myself happily and unexpectedly pregnant, (when prior to that
thinking I would never be). I chose to put my daughter in daycare,
part of which was because of my life and bills and debt that had to
be paid and not being willing to put my family at risk by leaving
the military, when being so close to retirement with a guaranteed
income when I retired. My husband did not make enough money at the
time to allow us to to change our income status so drastically by my
staying at home.
My daughter is now 12, has had many issues most of her life (which
would have been there in one way or another with or without
daycare). I have been researching homeshooling for the past 2 years
and found unschooling in the process. I now realize this is the
best path for her, she will be out of school (and dreaded middle
school) at the end of the current year.
We each make choices for our famiies and children, doing the best we
can. I feel I made the best choices possible at the time and given
the current circumstances. I take offense to some of your comments,
but I also accept that you may have limited experience in knowing
others who's lifestyles are very different than yours. I hope you
will continue to learn and grow in your journey through life and
learn from those like myself who have made very different choices,
but care no less deeply, about their children.
Jann
Ren Allen
"HOWEVER, what would a mom do if she
lost her husband?"
Or her partner, or decided to be on her own because it was simply
healthier for herself and her child, or had raised the child on her
own without a partner from the beginning, or loved her work and
found a way to minimalize the impact of her time away from the
child, or .....
there are more reasons to have a child in a daycare situation than
losing a husband. I don't like the way our society treats
daycare/school options in regards to children, but there are many
life choices that might affect a family's choice in this area.
I also hope that in this discussion, everyone remembers that it's
not about you or your choices personally. It's just a discussion
about school and daycare in the light of unschooling.
Ren
lost her husband?"
Or her partner, or decided to be on her own because it was simply
healthier for herself and her child, or had raised the child on her
own without a partner from the beginning, or loved her work and
found a way to minimalize the impact of her time away from the
child, or .....
there are more reasons to have a child in a daycare situation than
losing a husband. I don't like the way our society treats
daycare/school options in regards to children, but there are many
life choices that might affect a family's choice in this area.
I also hope that in this discussion, everyone remembers that it's
not about you or your choices personally. It's just a discussion
about school and daycare in the light of unschooling.
Ren
Maria Dorian
Hi, Jann! My comments were based, like you said, on my experience
solely. Thank you for letting me know that there are other
sitations out there that I might have not considered....
I tend to be VERY biased in this area because of my own situation.
My husband is in predental school. He cannot take on any part time
job because he basically needs a 4.0 in order to get into UCLA
dental, his first school choice. If he doesn't go to UCLA, he still
needs a 3.8 in order to apply anywhere anyways. That means that I
am the sole provider. Actually, God is but he is using me to do
so. That means that I have to work around my husband's school
schedule. My husband "homeschools" the boys during the day and
I "homeschool" at night. Basically, we are both there for our kids
if a learning opportunity should arise... Anyways, we do sacrifice
a house in order to be able to afford to do this. We live in an
apartment and drive one older car. We pay cash for everything in
order to stay clear of debt and I basically wear the same clothes
constantly. We work hard to keep our kids out of school/daycare.
So as you can see, I'm totally biased! Don't take
offense...really. It really is someone else's opinion. Just have
peace knowing that you do what God leads you to do and have peace
knowing that you did the right thing...
Much Love,
Maria
--- In [email protected], "puppyrat4750"
<puppyrat4750@y...> wrote:
solely. Thank you for letting me know that there are other
sitations out there that I might have not considered....
I tend to be VERY biased in this area because of my own situation.
My husband is in predental school. He cannot take on any part time
job because he basically needs a 4.0 in order to get into UCLA
dental, his first school choice. If he doesn't go to UCLA, he still
needs a 3.8 in order to apply anywhere anyways. That means that I
am the sole provider. Actually, God is but he is using me to do
so. That means that I have to work around my husband's school
schedule. My husband "homeschools" the boys during the day and
I "homeschool" at night. Basically, we are both there for our kids
if a learning opportunity should arise... Anyways, we do sacrifice
a house in order to be able to afford to do this. We live in an
apartment and drive one older car. We pay cash for everything in
order to stay clear of debt and I basically wear the same clothes
constantly. We work hard to keep our kids out of school/daycare.
So as you can see, I'm totally biased! Don't take
offense...really. It really is someone else's opinion. Just have
peace knowing that you do what God leads you to do and have peace
knowing that you did the right thing...
Much Love,
Maria
--- In [email protected], "puppyrat4750"
<puppyrat4750@y...> wrote:
>their
> > Katy, I must say that I, too, find it sad that people leave
> children in daycare all day. ...........There are women, however,stand
> who have done a crappy job raising their kids and can now not
> who they have become so they send them to school/daycare all dayout
> of not wanting to deal with them. Either that or the nicecar/house
> is way more important than actually BEING and hanging out withtheir
> own kids. >>>>>>>>>totally
>
> Maria,
> I certainly appreciate your feelings about being able to stay home
> with your kids, but you're not being fair to those of us in
> different situations.that
>
> I was in the military for over 15 years when, at the age of 36,
> found myself happily and unexpectedly pregnant, (when prior to
> thinking I would never be). I chose to put my daughter indaycare,
> part of which was because of my life and bills and debt that hadto
> be paid and not being willing to put my family at risk by leavingthe
> the military, when being so close to retirement with a guaranteed
> income when I retired. My husband did not make enough money at
> time to allow us to to change our income status so drastically bymy
> staying at home.years
>
> My daughter is now 12, has had many issues most of her life (which
> would have been there in one way or another with or without
> daycare). I have been researching homeshooling for the past 2
> and found unschooling in the process. I now realize this is thewe
> best path for her, she will be out of school (and dreaded middle
> school) at the end of the current year.
>
> We each make choices for our famiies and children, doing the best
> can. I feel I made the best choices possible at the time andgiven
> the current circumstances. I take offense to some of yourcomments,
> but I also accept that you may have limited experience in knowing
> others who's lifestyles are very different than yours. I hope you
> will continue to learn and grow in your journey through life and
> learn from those like myself who have made very different choices,
> but care no less deeply, about their children.
> Jann
Katy Jennings
<<Or her partner, or decided to be on her own because it was simply
healthier for herself and her child, or had raised the child on her
own without a partner from the beginning, or loved her work and
found a way to minimalize the impact of her time away from the
child, or .....>>
Thanks for pointing this out Ren, there are so many different ways to follow our hearts.
I feel so lucky that I have been able to find a childcare home that is loving and not school like at all. My son loves to help with younger children, (one of his current goals is to become a TaeKwonDo instructor), and there are quite a few younger children at the daycare, and for much of the day he is the only "school-age" child. He helps out with them and because of that gets treated pretty "adult," which is how I think he should be treated. They all should, IMO. BTW, by adult I mean with the same respect that we give adults, I hate that children are often treated as second class citizens.
Katy
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
healthier for herself and her child, or had raised the child on her
own without a partner from the beginning, or loved her work and
found a way to minimalize the impact of her time away from the
child, or .....>>
Thanks for pointing this out Ren, there are so many different ways to follow our hearts.
I feel so lucky that I have been able to find a childcare home that is loving and not school like at all. My son loves to help with younger children, (one of his current goals is to become a TaeKwonDo instructor), and there are quite a few younger children at the daycare, and for much of the day he is the only "school-age" child. He helps out with them and because of that gets treated pretty "adult," which is how I think he should be treated. They all should, IMO. BTW, by adult I mean with the same respect that we give adults, I hate that children are often treated as second class citizens.
Katy
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
julie w
> I have babysat for families that didn't 'need' to work and I rarely doLurker with an opinion.
> that
> any more. I much prefer the single parent who is committed to doing what's
> best for their child.
Its been ages since I've responded to the old SAHM vs Working Mom thing,
but I'm gonna pick up on this because I've been thinking about this.
When ds (13 today) was little I was the "I will NEVER work until my
child is grown" SAHM who judged why other folks worked and the situation
they found themselves in.
Thankfully that woman is gone.
I now live by the NSNM (never say NEVER motto) which keeps me from
eating my words.
Some of those words were:
"I will NEVER allow my ds to play with guns (swords, violent superhero
figures, Twisted Oz figures)"
"I will NEVER allow a (2,3, 4) video game systems in our house"
I will NEVER work because I like having dsl, a cell phone or support a
comic book and Ebay habits and dh refuses to pay for my fix"
"I would NEVER allow my child to make all his own decisions about
sleeping, eating, clothing, hair length and lack of personal hygiene"
"I would never let my child just play video games (watch tv, sleep,
play) all day long"
"I will NEVER wait tables again"
Well the list could go on and on.
Our lives change and priorities change. I no longer judge working moms
on why they work.
I may think that they do not "need" (ie the big house, an SUV, nice
vacations, lovely clothes...as if I wouldn't like to afford something
other then a dbl. wide) to work but there are things we just do not know
about others nor is it anyone's job to decide what should be important
to another family.
Not that there is anything wrong with offering suggestions on ways to
come home if a Mom wants to or says "I want to homeschool, but can not
afford to quit my job" . Well then we have an opening to say "buy a
cheaper car, loose the dry cleaner bill, down size your home, quite
eating out 5 days a week".
I now work with gals who's kids must go into daycare asap (and then
school) because they are the breadwinners for a family with either an
absent father/partner or a worthless (of course my response to that is
"I can support me and the kids, but I can't support me, the kids and
YOU") one who has no job and sits and watches tv all day....these folks
have no way to even think about NOT using daycare or the school.
I also know moms who unschool and have come up with ways for them to be
able to work and have the kids home.
Really, no harm intended to the OP, just a different take and what I've
learned in the past 42 years.
Julie W (back to lurker) in AR
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