extended family
Jasmine
i have a 13.5-month-old daughter, and am just getting into unschooling with her. i'm wondering how to introduce this method to my extended family. my mother and grandmother are more in the "the sooner she learns things, the better" camp. my grandmother is also stubborn and will likely try to teach my daughter things regardless of what i say. currently, she tries to teach my daughter certain words, telling her to "say it!" over and over again. she sees my daughter often. what should i do?
Joyce Fetteroll
On Jan 25, 2013, at 12:15 AM, Jasmine wrote:
If there comes a time when your daughter doesn't enjoy being with them because of the instruction, you can let them know what's bothering her. You can then mention that it's your role to raise her but it's their role to spoil her ;-) They get to relax and not worry about any consequences of doing things purely for the sake of making her happy.
Sandra Dodd has a couple of good pages on relatives:
http://sandradodd.com/relatives/responding
http://sandradodd.com/relatives/livingwith
For unschooling to work you don't need to change the world. Unschooling is in the nest you create around her. If she's having a difficult time with a situation, be her buffer. But most people she meets will approach life differently. Let her experience that as long as she's having a good time. It lets her see other ways and allows her to decide what she likes better.
Joyce
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
> i'm wondering how to introduce this method to my extended family.I would say don't try to change them. Let them have their own relationship with your daughter.
If there comes a time when your daughter doesn't enjoy being with them because of the instruction, you can let them know what's bothering her. You can then mention that it's your role to raise her but it's their role to spoil her ;-) They get to relax and not worry about any consequences of doing things purely for the sake of making her happy.
Sandra Dodd has a couple of good pages on relatives:
http://sandradodd.com/relatives/responding
http://sandradodd.com/relatives/livingwith
For unschooling to work you don't need to change the world. Unschooling is in the nest you create around her. If she's having a difficult time with a situation, be her buffer. But most people she meets will approach life differently. Let her experience that as long as she's having a good time. It lets her see other ways and allows her to decide what she likes better.
Joyce
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Meredith
"Jasmine" wrote:
Rather than jumping right to unschooling, you could offer them something like "Better Late than Early" or "School Can Wait" by Raymond Moore. You might also look at "play based learning" resources like "Much More than Just the ABCs".
What's your daughter's response? Eventually, she may get tired of being made to perform and no longer want to see her grandmother (your grandmother?). So it might help to think of your choices in those terms - do you want to offer grandma the chance to have a nice relationship with your daughter, or do you want to let that work itself out and maybe have that relationship diminish over time.
If your goal is for them to have a good relationship, then it might help to spend less time with grandma and only in situations which let them play and have fun together. Grandma will probably still try to teach, but if your daughter is used to learning on her own terms, that won't be as big of a deal if most of their relationship is joyful.
---Meredith
> my mother and grandmother are more in the "the sooner she learns things, the better" camp.****************
Rather than jumping right to unschooling, you could offer them something like "Better Late than Early" or "School Can Wait" by Raymond Moore. You might also look at "play based learning" resources like "Much More than Just the ABCs".
>>she tries to teach my daughter certain words, telling her to "say it!" over and over again. she sees my daughter often. what should i do?***************
What's your daughter's response? Eventually, she may get tired of being made to perform and no longer want to see her grandmother (your grandmother?). So it might help to think of your choices in those terms - do you want to offer grandma the chance to have a nice relationship with your daughter, or do you want to let that work itself out and maybe have that relationship diminish over time.
If your goal is for them to have a good relationship, then it might help to spend less time with grandma and only in situations which let them play and have fun together. Grandma will probably still try to teach, but if your daughter is used to learning on her own terms, that won't be as big of a deal if most of their relationship is joyful.
---Meredith