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Kristie
I find today that my 11 year old has been looking at mature type videos on youtube. I have not said anything yet as I would like your advice on how to best handle this in a mindful, be your child's partner, type of way.
Thanks,
Kristie
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Thanks,
Kristie
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Meredith
Kristie wrote:
It can help to pause and clarify what your intentions and aspirations are. Are you concerned about the younger kids finding the sites and being upset? Friends seeing the sites and telling their parents? An excess of new spam and maybe a computer virus? Those are things to mention to your son as concerns, privately so you don't embarrass him. There are some ideas about that here:
http://sandradodd.com/sex
You might want to look for some resources to offer him, if you think he's looking for information. A good place to start is Scarlet Teen:
http://www.scarleteen.com/
But don't think that's going to "fix things" - there's nothing to fix, in the sense that kids are curious and boys, in particular, tend to prefer pictures over words. The Good thing about the internet, in that regard, is that it's actually easier for boys and men to find the sorts of things they want to see - easier than being limited to whatever dads have stashed under the bed!
Often the concern about boys and porn is moms don't want them "to think sex is like That". When boys get to grow up in homes where their own feelings are important, though, they have no reason to think those feelings won't be important in their adult relationships.
---Meredith
>**************
> I find today that my 11 year old has been looking at mature type videos on youtube. I have not said anything yet as I would like your advice on how to best handle this in a mindful, be your child's partner, type of way.
It can help to pause and clarify what your intentions and aspirations are. Are you concerned about the younger kids finding the sites and being upset? Friends seeing the sites and telling their parents? An excess of new spam and maybe a computer virus? Those are things to mention to your son as concerns, privately so you don't embarrass him. There are some ideas about that here:
http://sandradodd.com/sex
You might want to look for some resources to offer him, if you think he's looking for information. A good place to start is Scarlet Teen:
http://www.scarleteen.com/
But don't think that's going to "fix things" - there's nothing to fix, in the sense that kids are curious and boys, in particular, tend to prefer pictures over words. The Good thing about the internet, in that regard, is that it's actually easier for boys and men to find the sorts of things they want to see - easier than being limited to whatever dads have stashed under the bed!
Often the concern about boys and porn is moms don't want them "to think sex is like That". When boys get to grow up in homes where their own feelings are important, though, they have no reason to think those feelings won't be important in their adult relationships.
---Meredith