Re: [unschoolingbasics] 4-year old son addicted to iPad. Questions about my ...
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The iPad is my favorite "toy" so I immediately am siding with the four year
old. I do know what you mean though. My seven year old is also a huge ipad
fan. He takes the ipad with him every day during his rest time and often
plays it for two hours straight. Like everything my family is interested in
it goes through phases. How long as your son been playing with the ipad?
We have a storage area for the ipad where I ask that it be returned after
each use so I can keep it fully charged and also know where it is if someone
wants to use it (we have four kids). Also those things are EXPENSIVE so I
always request that they keep it inside and we don't take it in the car.
IGN has a daily post where they share ipad apps that are free or lower in
price than usual so every day I load the new free games.
Here is the most recent update, at the bottom of the update is a link to
subscribe.
_http://www.ign.com/articles/2012/09/14/app-store-update-september-14-2_
(http://www.ign.com/articles/2012/09/14/app-store-update-september-14-2)
As for hitting, I try to redirect them and keep them physically separated
when I can tell they are getting tired or upset. Telling someone that it
is not okay to hurt another person or animal is not breaking any unschooling
rules. It is the "punishment" that in my opinion is not part of an
unschooling lifestyle so there are no time outs. Hitting someone tends to have a
natural punishment. The other person is hurt/sad/angry and doesn't want to
play any more.
In a message dated 9/17/2012 7:30:42 A.M. Pacific Daylight Time,
jenyoust@... writes:
We are new to unschooling (son is 4 and daughter is 2). We are also new to
the unconditional parenting style that comes along with the unschooling
lifestyle. I am thrilled to have found this unschooling and this particular
unschooling community, but I am having such trouble practicing what I feel
in my heart is right.
For example, I KNOW that my son playing the iPad for hours a day (even
though I am ever-strewing) is something he feels the need to do right now. I
have loaded games upon games for him (educational and just-for-fun silly
games), in order to strew on the iPad as well. But, the "schoolie" in me keeps
having the fear that he will NEVER want to do other things (and that the
iPad is inherently bad). Now, if we go outside and play and the neighbors are
there, he will play, have fun, be active...do other things, but the minute
we are inside or in the car, it is "where's the iPad?" Winter is coming,
so I know this will be more of an issue as it gets colder outside.
I find myself resorting back to authoritarian/manipulative behavior by
saying "it's charging" when it's not, and then helping him engage in some
other activity. He always ends up finding something else to do --which makes me
think, then, that taking away the iPad is sometimes a good move (but the
new unschooling voice in the back of my head is telling me that I should not
have made that decision for him). Do I just keep the iPad available to him
at ALL times and let him play to his heart's content? I do sit with him
and play from time to time, when he wants me to...most of this is going on in
my own head.
Now onto more of a parenting question...my son is starting to hit. I could
be RIGHT THERE with them, and he's so fast that I can't stop him from
hitting his sister in the face/head, etc. I always comfort her first, and
lately it has been so frustrating to me that I end up raising my voice and
telling him please do not do that, it's not nice (I know, I know...) I get so
impatient with this behavior, and it's hard for me to imagine how not
disciplining in a traditional sense (time out, go to your room, etc.) will "teach"
someone that it's not right to clock someone in the head, especially if he
keeps doing it over and over again. (I have suggested that he go to his
room and relax for a bit...?) Should I not let them play together for awhile
right now? I'm not sure what I should do here to limit the blows to my 2
year old...other times they are great together. Usually, it's the iPads that
result in this behavior....she is using his or vice versa -- they each hav e
one, what more can I do? HE is also always suggesting the she play with
hers when he's playing with his (even though she may be happily playing
Play-Doh, coloring, etc.)
Not on to strewing...I've been trying SO HARD to strew interesting and new
things for both of my kids. The iPad wins out every. single. time. Even my
2 year old is exhibiting the "addiction". Do I keep trying with him at
this point, or should I wait until he comes to me with an interest? Recently,
we got some maps of prehistoric times at Costco, he loved them for about 5
minutes. We got new games to play...for the whole family to play with
him...nope. Books, paper, painting, crayons, pencils, music, toys...it all lasts
minutes to an hour or so, and then he's on to the iPad again.
I'm thinking you might all tell me to just go with the iPad, I think I
need to hear that that's ok or something. I am still de-schooling, and it's
hard to wrap my mind around the fact that this is ok for a little person who
has shown no real interest in reading, writing, numbers, etc. Just gaming.
:) Any help is appreciated, lay it on me!
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
old. I do know what you mean though. My seven year old is also a huge ipad
fan. He takes the ipad with him every day during his rest time and often
plays it for two hours straight. Like everything my family is interested in
it goes through phases. How long as your son been playing with the ipad?
We have a storage area for the ipad where I ask that it be returned after
each use so I can keep it fully charged and also know where it is if someone
wants to use it (we have four kids). Also those things are EXPENSIVE so I
always request that they keep it inside and we don't take it in the car.
IGN has a daily post where they share ipad apps that are free or lower in
price than usual so every day I load the new free games.
Here is the most recent update, at the bottom of the update is a link to
subscribe.
_http://www.ign.com/articles/2012/09/14/app-store-update-september-14-2_
(http://www.ign.com/articles/2012/09/14/app-store-update-september-14-2)
As for hitting, I try to redirect them and keep them physically separated
when I can tell they are getting tired or upset. Telling someone that it
is not okay to hurt another person or animal is not breaking any unschooling
rules. It is the "punishment" that in my opinion is not part of an
unschooling lifestyle so there are no time outs. Hitting someone tends to have a
natural punishment. The other person is hurt/sad/angry and doesn't want to
play any more.
In a message dated 9/17/2012 7:30:42 A.M. Pacific Daylight Time,
jenyoust@... writes:
We are new to unschooling (son is 4 and daughter is 2). We are also new to
the unconditional parenting style that comes along with the unschooling
lifestyle. I am thrilled to have found this unschooling and this particular
unschooling community, but I am having such trouble practicing what I feel
in my heart is right.
For example, I KNOW that my son playing the iPad for hours a day (even
though I am ever-strewing) is something he feels the need to do right now. I
have loaded games upon games for him (educational and just-for-fun silly
games), in order to strew on the iPad as well. But, the "schoolie" in me keeps
having the fear that he will NEVER want to do other things (and that the
iPad is inherently bad). Now, if we go outside and play and the neighbors are
there, he will play, have fun, be active...do other things, but the minute
we are inside or in the car, it is "where's the iPad?" Winter is coming,
so I know this will be more of an issue as it gets colder outside.
I find myself resorting back to authoritarian/manipulative behavior by
saying "it's charging" when it's not, and then helping him engage in some
other activity. He always ends up finding something else to do --which makes me
think, then, that taking away the iPad is sometimes a good move (but the
new unschooling voice in the back of my head is telling me that I should not
have made that decision for him). Do I just keep the iPad available to him
at ALL times and let him play to his heart's content? I do sit with him
and play from time to time, when he wants me to...most of this is going on in
my own head.
Now onto more of a parenting question...my son is starting to hit. I could
be RIGHT THERE with them, and he's so fast that I can't stop him from
hitting his sister in the face/head, etc. I always comfort her first, and
lately it has been so frustrating to me that I end up raising my voice and
telling him please do not do that, it's not nice (I know, I know...) I get so
impatient with this behavior, and it's hard for me to imagine how not
disciplining in a traditional sense (time out, go to your room, etc.) will "teach"
someone that it's not right to clock someone in the head, especially if he
keeps doing it over and over again. (I have suggested that he go to his
room and relax for a bit...?) Should I not let them play together for awhile
right now? I'm not sure what I should do here to limit the blows to my 2
year old...other times they are great together. Usually, it's the iPads that
result in this behavior....she is using his or vice versa -- they each hav e
one, what more can I do? HE is also always suggesting the she play with
hers when he's playing with his (even though she may be happily playing
Play-Doh, coloring, etc.)
Not on to strewing...I've been trying SO HARD to strew interesting and new
things for both of my kids. The iPad wins out every. single. time. Even my
2 year old is exhibiting the "addiction". Do I keep trying with him at
this point, or should I wait until he comes to me with an interest? Recently,
we got some maps of prehistoric times at Costco, he loved them for about 5
minutes. We got new games to play...for the whole family to play with
him...nope. Books, paper, painting, crayons, pencils, music, toys...it all lasts
minutes to an hour or so, and then he's on to the iPad again.
I'm thinking you might all tell me to just go with the iPad, I think I
need to hear that that's ok or something. I am still de-schooling, and it's
hard to wrap my mind around the fact that this is ok for a little person who
has shown no real interest in reading, writing, numbers, etc. Just gaming.
:) Any help is appreciated, lay it on me!
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]