Hi From NZ! - New to Unschooling
Hilary Jackson
Hi everyone,
I just joined this list today. I live in beautiful NZ, have Daniel (just
turned 11yrs) and Flynn (2.5yrs). We are 6 months into our trailblazing
brand new life, and I am feeling some really uncomfy feelings coming up.
Need a group like this to speak my anxieties into! I did find the
unschooling message board (sandra Dodd) and she recommended this list. I
don;t know if many people are on both lists, so I apologise if the below is
a repeat to anyone!
I feel like I am hitting so many brick walls with Daniel at the moment, and
just wanted to ask for some advice, reflections, ways thru etc.
I took Dan out of a Steiner School 6 months ago. He had been asking for a
while. I finally listened. He is happy to be out, but does miss some
aspects of school - mainly social although god knows that could be a total
disaster alot of the time too! Now, so often he says he doesn't really want
to do anything. Then he says that he is bored and why don't we do anything.
I suggest things, and he either loses steam just outside of the starting
gates or never ever finishes them. He tells me what he is interested in
doing, gets half way thru and drops it. Bookwork leaves him cold. We haven't
done anything at all in that way in the last 6 months. He does do a few
classes with other homeschoolers - all his choice - he does French (doesn't
do anything outside the class), Sport and Technology(not computers, more
engineering stuff). he likes these.
Daniel has problems with handwriting (if he was labelled, he would prob be
labelled with dysgraphia - very high reading level, but crappy speller), and
so getting him to do anything in that vein is very very hard. It makes him
feel bad - I think a hangover from school, felt like a real failure in the
writing dept. He has hardly handwritten a thing in the past 6 months - he
seemed to hold so much pain around it. I did take him to a kinesiologist (as
I've mentioned) and we saw some improvements in his writing in a short time,
but now he says he hates doing the exercises, and its always such a mission
to get him to do them (I'm only talking 5-7 mins here - not half an hour!)
I do have some tension in me about the whole ERO review (whenever that may
come - here in NZ the education review office reviews you sometime in the
first 3 years - you never know when its coming, you get 3 weeks notice...),
and I think some of this has leaked out onto him (damn - I'm not perfect). I
have said that I need to have some way to "document" what he is learning
about.... and that that doesn;t have to mean essays and reports - it might
mean a website of stuff which records what he has been doing that week.
He says he needs to move all the time, that he just can't stay still.
Anything that smacks of schoolwork / bookwork just turns him off. I can just
see his energy leaking out of him if we even get close to doing something
like this.
I feel like I am doing a crappy job just now and often feel like I don't
really know what to do.
I asked him what he would really like to be doing. He says reading (he LOVES
reading fiction and reads voraciously) playing with his friends, playing
computer games and bike riding. That's about all he wants to do. Oh, and he
occasionally does delve into writing science fantasy short stories a' la'
Anne McCaffery Pern series kind of stuff.
The thing I find most difficult is the moochingness that he displays. Like
he is at this major loose end and I have to fix it. Its really challenging.
I have to work hard not to get pissed off with him sometimes. I hate
moodiness and just find that kind of "frozen" mood he gets in hard. (guess
he does too) Arrgghh!
I have a very wilful 2.5yr old as well, and this does place limits on what
we can and can't do. He interfere's with absolutely everything!! And, Dan
goes crazy with that!
I guess I need to learn more about how he learns best. I just feel so lost
right now.
What did you do with your kids?? And with yourself?
Thanks for listening and look forward to hearing from you,
Hilary
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
I just joined this list today. I live in beautiful NZ, have Daniel (just
turned 11yrs) and Flynn (2.5yrs). We are 6 months into our trailblazing
brand new life, and I am feeling some really uncomfy feelings coming up.
Need a group like this to speak my anxieties into! I did find the
unschooling message board (sandra Dodd) and she recommended this list. I
don;t know if many people are on both lists, so I apologise if the below is
a repeat to anyone!
I feel like I am hitting so many brick walls with Daniel at the moment, and
just wanted to ask for some advice, reflections, ways thru etc.
I took Dan out of a Steiner School 6 months ago. He had been asking for a
while. I finally listened. He is happy to be out, but does miss some
aspects of school - mainly social although god knows that could be a total
disaster alot of the time too! Now, so often he says he doesn't really want
to do anything. Then he says that he is bored and why don't we do anything.
I suggest things, and he either loses steam just outside of the starting
gates or never ever finishes them. He tells me what he is interested in
doing, gets half way thru and drops it. Bookwork leaves him cold. We haven't
done anything at all in that way in the last 6 months. He does do a few
classes with other homeschoolers - all his choice - he does French (doesn't
do anything outside the class), Sport and Technology(not computers, more
engineering stuff). he likes these.
Daniel has problems with handwriting (if he was labelled, he would prob be
labelled with dysgraphia - very high reading level, but crappy speller), and
so getting him to do anything in that vein is very very hard. It makes him
feel bad - I think a hangover from school, felt like a real failure in the
writing dept. He has hardly handwritten a thing in the past 6 months - he
seemed to hold so much pain around it. I did take him to a kinesiologist (as
I've mentioned) and we saw some improvements in his writing in a short time,
but now he says he hates doing the exercises, and its always such a mission
to get him to do them (I'm only talking 5-7 mins here - not half an hour!)
I do have some tension in me about the whole ERO review (whenever that may
come - here in NZ the education review office reviews you sometime in the
first 3 years - you never know when its coming, you get 3 weeks notice...),
and I think some of this has leaked out onto him (damn - I'm not perfect). I
have said that I need to have some way to "document" what he is learning
about.... and that that doesn;t have to mean essays and reports - it might
mean a website of stuff which records what he has been doing that week.
He says he needs to move all the time, that he just can't stay still.
Anything that smacks of schoolwork / bookwork just turns him off. I can just
see his energy leaking out of him if we even get close to doing something
like this.
I feel like I am doing a crappy job just now and often feel like I don't
really know what to do.
I asked him what he would really like to be doing. He says reading (he LOVES
reading fiction and reads voraciously) playing with his friends, playing
computer games and bike riding. That's about all he wants to do. Oh, and he
occasionally does delve into writing science fantasy short stories a' la'
Anne McCaffery Pern series kind of stuff.
The thing I find most difficult is the moochingness that he displays. Like
he is at this major loose end and I have to fix it. Its really challenging.
I have to work hard not to get pissed off with him sometimes. I hate
moodiness and just find that kind of "frozen" mood he gets in hard. (guess
he does too) Arrgghh!
I have a very wilful 2.5yr old as well, and this does place limits on what
we can and can't do. He interfere's with absolutely everything!! And, Dan
goes crazy with that!
I guess I need to learn more about how he learns best. I just feel so lost
right now.
What did you do with your kids?? And with yourself?
Thanks for listening and look forward to hearing from you,
Hilary
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Pam Sorooshian
Hi Hilary -
We need a collection of stories about kids who can't spell, have
horrible penmanship, and are still "turn out fine."
There are lots of them out there. Spelling and penmanship are about the
two most unimportant aspects of "schooling" that there are and also the
two that parents worry about far far far too much.
Spelling and penmanship (printing or cursive) are simply not important
enough to spend 5 minutes a year worrying about!
Stop thinking about school subjects. Just think about what Daniel DOES
like to do and support more of that, to the degree he is interested. Do
not "get him to do" anything at all. HELP him do anything fun for him.
Does he like sports? Then offer some more sports opportunities. Video
games? Get new ones.
I wish with all my heart that he could meet and really get to know all
the wonderful people in the world who are poor spellers and writers but
are out there pursuing their life's passions with gusto and love. If
you think those are somehow critical for all children to learn, you've
been fed a lie and you've swallowed it.
Don't pick the things he's NOT good at or interested in to pay
attention to - you're looking in the wrong direction and that makes YOU
part of his problem. You need to be looking, all the time, at what
might interest him NOW. And please, YOU need to stop seeing him as a
failure because he was a bad fit with his school. He's not a bad fit
with LIFE - not if you let him live his OWN life - help him find it.
School is nonsense. Schooling is nonsense. It is all a complete huge
gigantic hoax played on parents. It is unnecessary - completely totally
absolutely unnecessary - for kids to learn what they claim to teach in
schools.
Please help him - let him deschool in peace while you learn about
learning.
Read Frank Smith's "The Book of Learning and Forgetting." Read John
Holt. Read these lists and the unschooling message boards. Watch him,
love him, help him do what he wants to do no matter what it is. Offer,
gently, nonschoolish things that you think he might want to do - go
surfing, skateboarding, take a trip, rent movies, whatever....nothing
school-like and nothing intended to somehow "get him to" learn some
schoolish thing. That's manipulation. Don't do it. Be totally authentic
with him.
Also read: "The Parent/Teen Breakthrough: A Relationship Approach."
-pam
We need a collection of stories about kids who can't spell, have
horrible penmanship, and are still "turn out fine."
There are lots of them out there. Spelling and penmanship are about the
two most unimportant aspects of "schooling" that there are and also the
two that parents worry about far far far too much.
Spelling and penmanship (printing or cursive) are simply not important
enough to spend 5 minutes a year worrying about!
Stop thinking about school subjects. Just think about what Daniel DOES
like to do and support more of that, to the degree he is interested. Do
not "get him to do" anything at all. HELP him do anything fun for him.
Does he like sports? Then offer some more sports opportunities. Video
games? Get new ones.
I wish with all my heart that he could meet and really get to know all
the wonderful people in the world who are poor spellers and writers but
are out there pursuing their life's passions with gusto and love. If
you think those are somehow critical for all children to learn, you've
been fed a lie and you've swallowed it.
Don't pick the things he's NOT good at or interested in to pay
attention to - you're looking in the wrong direction and that makes YOU
part of his problem. You need to be looking, all the time, at what
might interest him NOW. And please, YOU need to stop seeing him as a
failure because he was a bad fit with his school. He's not a bad fit
with LIFE - not if you let him live his OWN life - help him find it.
School is nonsense. Schooling is nonsense. It is all a complete huge
gigantic hoax played on parents. It is unnecessary - completely totally
absolutely unnecessary - for kids to learn what they claim to teach in
schools.
Please help him - let him deschool in peace while you learn about
learning.
Read Frank Smith's "The Book of Learning and Forgetting." Read John
Holt. Read these lists and the unschooling message boards. Watch him,
love him, help him do what he wants to do no matter what it is. Offer,
gently, nonschoolish things that you think he might want to do - go
surfing, skateboarding, take a trip, rent movies, whatever....nothing
school-like and nothing intended to somehow "get him to" learn some
schoolish thing. That's manipulation. Don't do it. Be totally authentic
with him.
Also read: "The Parent/Teen Breakthrough: A Relationship Approach."
-pam
On Feb 9, 2005, at 1:06 AM, Hilary Jackson wrote:
> Daniel has problems with handwriting (if he was labelled, he would
> prob be
> labelled with dysgraphia - very high reading level, but crappy
> speller), and
> so getting him to do anything in that vein is very very hard. It makes
> him
> feel bad - I think a hangover from school, felt like a real failure in
> the
> writing dept.
scrapgal
> I feel like I am hitting so many brick walls with Daniel at themoment, and
> just wanted to ask for some advice, reflections, ways thru etc.What if you did an "intense" period of deschooling. Take him out of
>
all the classes altogether. No French, no technology, nothing that
resembles school or coursework. And then just play. Play video
games, watch tv or videos, listen to music, go oustide and explore
bugs crawling in the grass.
Not finishing projects is common in humans. Some of us have a
million half-finished projects. I'm one of those. It isn't the
creating something it is the creating that I am interested in. It's
sort of like once I have figured out how to do something I am ready
to move on. I'm a rubberstamp artist and I'm never content unless I
am learning a new technique or style or paper craft. Once I've
learned and fairly mastered something I'm ready to move on. Daniel
may be like that. He's figured out how it is done and now he is
ready to move on.
If he enjoys the engineering aspect, does he have toys/tools that
facilitate that? Does he have Legos, Lincoln Logs, Erector Sets,
K'nex, etc? What about having him design and build a play house in
your yard? Maybe for your younger child? Just ideas.
Michelle
Tina
Hi, Hilary! Let me first say, "Way to go for listening to Daniel's
request to leave school!" It is so wonderful that you are in tune
with him and willing to listen to his needs. That is SO difficult
for most parents to do. Heck, we are brought up to give orders to
our children and not think of them as young adults and fellow
humans. Congrats on taking the first step!
It sounds like you are struggling with a lot of normal things. Have
you thought about the fact that you will also need to deschool
yourself? I would suggest reading any unschooling books you can get
your hands on. This is great for boosting your confidence in the
decision you have made for you and your family. I recommend, "The
Teenage Liberation Handbook" for a real perspective of school.
Also, read about the history of school. It will make your hair
stand on end! It might also be a good idea to subscribe to an
unschooling magazine. Find something that you like to do, and do
it. One of the most difficult things for me in the beginning was
realizing that I lead by example, therefore I get to do what I want
to do as well! What a joyous revelation!
It's okay if your son doesn't want to write. My son has only
written anything one time in the past year that I can think of. He
is 11 this month, and is ambedextrious. He finds it frustrating and
too time consuming to bother with. Sometimes he expresses an
interest in typing, other times he doesn't. He's a wonderful
reader, and he reads WAY quicker than myself. BUT, he doesn't
actually like to read. He does like to listen to a good story,
though. So, we listen to books on CD, or I read to him. He just
loves it. Try to remember that something is only important to us if
we need to know it and use it right now. When we need and want to
learn something relevant to our life, you would be amazed at how
fast it gets accomplished!
I second Pam's suggestion of not paying attention to Daniel's
weaknesses. Unschooling is all about strengths and likes. Go with
those. It's okay if he wants to spend all day looking out the
window, playing video games, watching television, playing on the
comuputer, or even sleeping. Don't forget to join him sometimes.
Life is not broken up into educational and non-educational
segments. We learn from everything. Don't waste your time trying
to find the educational benefit in something. You'll be
continuously amazed once you start figuring the process out and
seeing your children blossom and become brilliant, confident, well-
adjusted individuals.
Try real hard not to fret over what Daniel spends his time doing.
Also, find a coping strategy for yourself in dealing with his
moodiness. This is something that I am still working on with
Adrian. He is VERY opinionated, outspoken, perfectionistic and what
I consider highly-sensitive. (You may benefit from reading, "The
Highly Sensitive Child") This makes for a very moody child. It
doesn't take much to get him irritated. I work very hard at not
letting this get to me, but I do let him know when I just can't
handle listening to his ranting and complaining, politely of
course. Once you start to understand Daniel's personality a little
deeper you will be able to communicate and live with him much more
effectively. Also, he will become more comfortable being himself
and these negative bouts will decrease in occurance. BTW - It's
very nice to know that I am not alone in the world dealing with this
one! :)
As far as record keeping goes there are bits of information out
there that help you to learn how to convert his daily activities
into "school language" for reporting and such. You might like to
try keeping a daily journal on the computer. I used to use a
software program specifically for keeping school records. I lost
over a year and a half's worth of information when my computer
crashed, so don't forget to save it to disc on a regular basis. I
currently have no records, save my first journal entry from
yesterday. I've decided that journaling will be a much more
effective way of "record keeping" if for no other reason to enjoy
looking back on my son's interests and explorations.
It might help you to have an example of my 11 year old son's day.
He stays up until between midnight and 2am. He sleeps until 11am.
Some have trouble with that, but yet another benefit of unschooling
is listening to and meeting our personal needs. He loves being up
late because it's quiet and his pets, one gecko and two hamsters,
are nocturnal. He likes to watch the gecko hunt. During the day he
either plays PS2, watches DVD's on Dinosaurs or just hangs out with
me. That's where he is right now. He just joined a bowling
league. I was totally shocked! This child has NEVER had any
interest in anything resembling a sport. We do go on outings by
ourselves and with local HS groups. His favorite hangout with me is
to go to lunch and a movie. He's totally into computer graphics and
currently wants to design video games for a living. On occassion he
expresses a concern that he doesn't "do" math. I tell him that we
have resources available if he's interested, but he never pursues
them. Little does he know how much math he does in his daily
activities. I'm okay with that, more so than he is probably.
Hilary, please remember that you have made a wonderful decision for
your family. You couldn't have chosen a more liberating lifestyle.
Keep "educating" yourself. Keep searching. Keep dreaming. Keep
pursuing your interests, and mostly keep yourself available to your
children, and relax. You will see amazing things happen over the
next weeks, months and years to come. If you ever want to chat
about 11 year old boys feel free to email me personally.
Enjoy your journey...
Tina
request to leave school!" It is so wonderful that you are in tune
with him and willing to listen to his needs. That is SO difficult
for most parents to do. Heck, we are brought up to give orders to
our children and not think of them as young adults and fellow
humans. Congrats on taking the first step!
It sounds like you are struggling with a lot of normal things. Have
you thought about the fact that you will also need to deschool
yourself? I would suggest reading any unschooling books you can get
your hands on. This is great for boosting your confidence in the
decision you have made for you and your family. I recommend, "The
Teenage Liberation Handbook" for a real perspective of school.
Also, read about the history of school. It will make your hair
stand on end! It might also be a good idea to subscribe to an
unschooling magazine. Find something that you like to do, and do
it. One of the most difficult things for me in the beginning was
realizing that I lead by example, therefore I get to do what I want
to do as well! What a joyous revelation!
It's okay if your son doesn't want to write. My son has only
written anything one time in the past year that I can think of. He
is 11 this month, and is ambedextrious. He finds it frustrating and
too time consuming to bother with. Sometimes he expresses an
interest in typing, other times he doesn't. He's a wonderful
reader, and he reads WAY quicker than myself. BUT, he doesn't
actually like to read. He does like to listen to a good story,
though. So, we listen to books on CD, or I read to him. He just
loves it. Try to remember that something is only important to us if
we need to know it and use it right now. When we need and want to
learn something relevant to our life, you would be amazed at how
fast it gets accomplished!
I second Pam's suggestion of not paying attention to Daniel's
weaknesses. Unschooling is all about strengths and likes. Go with
those. It's okay if he wants to spend all day looking out the
window, playing video games, watching television, playing on the
comuputer, or even sleeping. Don't forget to join him sometimes.
Life is not broken up into educational and non-educational
segments. We learn from everything. Don't waste your time trying
to find the educational benefit in something. You'll be
continuously amazed once you start figuring the process out and
seeing your children blossom and become brilliant, confident, well-
adjusted individuals.
Try real hard not to fret over what Daniel spends his time doing.
Also, find a coping strategy for yourself in dealing with his
moodiness. This is something that I am still working on with
Adrian. He is VERY opinionated, outspoken, perfectionistic and what
I consider highly-sensitive. (You may benefit from reading, "The
Highly Sensitive Child") This makes for a very moody child. It
doesn't take much to get him irritated. I work very hard at not
letting this get to me, but I do let him know when I just can't
handle listening to his ranting and complaining, politely of
course. Once you start to understand Daniel's personality a little
deeper you will be able to communicate and live with him much more
effectively. Also, he will become more comfortable being himself
and these negative bouts will decrease in occurance. BTW - It's
very nice to know that I am not alone in the world dealing with this
one! :)
As far as record keeping goes there are bits of information out
there that help you to learn how to convert his daily activities
into "school language" for reporting and such. You might like to
try keeping a daily journal on the computer. I used to use a
software program specifically for keeping school records. I lost
over a year and a half's worth of information when my computer
crashed, so don't forget to save it to disc on a regular basis. I
currently have no records, save my first journal entry from
yesterday. I've decided that journaling will be a much more
effective way of "record keeping" if for no other reason to enjoy
looking back on my son's interests and explorations.
It might help you to have an example of my 11 year old son's day.
He stays up until between midnight and 2am. He sleeps until 11am.
Some have trouble with that, but yet another benefit of unschooling
is listening to and meeting our personal needs. He loves being up
late because it's quiet and his pets, one gecko and two hamsters,
are nocturnal. He likes to watch the gecko hunt. During the day he
either plays PS2, watches DVD's on Dinosaurs or just hangs out with
me. That's where he is right now. He just joined a bowling
league. I was totally shocked! This child has NEVER had any
interest in anything resembling a sport. We do go on outings by
ourselves and with local HS groups. His favorite hangout with me is
to go to lunch and a movie. He's totally into computer graphics and
currently wants to design video games for a living. On occassion he
expresses a concern that he doesn't "do" math. I tell him that we
have resources available if he's interested, but he never pursues
them. Little does he know how much math he does in his daily
activities. I'm okay with that, more so than he is probably.
Hilary, please remember that you have made a wonderful decision for
your family. You couldn't have chosen a more liberating lifestyle.
Keep "educating" yourself. Keep searching. Keep dreaming. Keep
pursuing your interests, and mostly keep yourself available to your
children, and relax. You will see amazing things happen over the
next weeks, months and years to come. If you ever want to chat
about 11 year old boys feel free to email me personally.
Enjoy your journey...
Tina
Deirdre Aycock
Hilary - Hey and welcome to this list! Our son is 12 and our dd is 10.
George and Nola play a game on line called runescape. (www.runescape.com)
I'll let the two of you check it out on your own. If that appeals to your
son, tell him to add superman5606 and effie5413 to his friends list--those
are my kids. My kids are on there off and on all day, but if they keep
missing each other, email us and tell us what time to "meet" him there.
We've found websites that help us convert time zones! I mention Runescape
enthusiatically because my kids love it and they are learning so much from
playing. I credit that game with the improvement in Nola's spelling, and
both kids type fast now, but that's just the start of what they are taking
away from that game. They have to type to be able to communicate with
other players, but spelling correctly isn't necessary! The other players
will get the idea.
Having said that, I also want to tell you that we stopped doing anything
"schooly" about two years ago. My kids don't do anything that looks
remotely like school work. I think it's fun when people tell me my kids are
"so smart!" Especially when it comes form someone that wouldn't approve of
my kids watching as much tv as they do. LOL
I think you and your son need a summer vacation. One that never ends!
Who cares if he doesn't finish what he starts? Neither do I, a lot of the
time. If whatever he is trying gets boring, then he needs to quit doing it
and find something else! It's gonna take him some practice to decide how
to spend his time and energy. He's had so many decisions made for him by
the school! What he needs now is lots of control, so he can get back in
touch with what he feels like doing, what he enjoys. Don't make him go to
his classes if he doesn't feel like it that day. And I would definitely
stop working on his handwriting!! His brain isn't ready for it, just leave
it alone for a couple of years and see what things look like then. I don't
think he needs to be able to write anything until he's old enough to sign
checks. LOL I use my husband as an example: even he can't read his own
handwriting, and he can't spell. But he says that's what computers and
spell-checker programs are for! He practices law and runs 4 other
companies, so I can honestly say it hasn't slowed him down.
I guess you'll have to find some other folks who unschool in NZ and ask
about how to handle the review. You aren't the only ones there! My only
advise about that review is that you need to take care of your son first and
make the paperwork follow you, not the other way around. I hope you can
minimize how much control that review has over your son.
As to your son's bad moods, and, well, everything about your son: It's
so hard for the rest of us to know why he's not cheerful, since we aren't
right there. I can sympathize with you having to be around someone in a
blue funk, and I hope you can sympathize with your son. Make sure he's
eating whenever he's hungry and getting plenty of sleep at night. And try
to help him get in touch with what he feels he wants or needs, then help him
obtain it. If I were him, I would need some space from the toddler--bet you
could use a break from Flynn occassionally as well. Toddlers are so cool,
but they are also hard work.
Gee this is a long post. Hope there's something here that's useful to
you! Good luck! Deirdre
George and Nola play a game on line called runescape. (www.runescape.com)
I'll let the two of you check it out on your own. If that appeals to your
son, tell him to add superman5606 and effie5413 to his friends list--those
are my kids. My kids are on there off and on all day, but if they keep
missing each other, email us and tell us what time to "meet" him there.
We've found websites that help us convert time zones! I mention Runescape
enthusiatically because my kids love it and they are learning so much from
playing. I credit that game with the improvement in Nola's spelling, and
both kids type fast now, but that's just the start of what they are taking
away from that game. They have to type to be able to communicate with
other players, but spelling correctly isn't necessary! The other players
will get the idea.
Having said that, I also want to tell you that we stopped doing anything
"schooly" about two years ago. My kids don't do anything that looks
remotely like school work. I think it's fun when people tell me my kids are
"so smart!" Especially when it comes form someone that wouldn't approve of
my kids watching as much tv as they do. LOL
I think you and your son need a summer vacation. One that never ends!
Who cares if he doesn't finish what he starts? Neither do I, a lot of the
time. If whatever he is trying gets boring, then he needs to quit doing it
and find something else! It's gonna take him some practice to decide how
to spend his time and energy. He's had so many decisions made for him by
the school! What he needs now is lots of control, so he can get back in
touch with what he feels like doing, what he enjoys. Don't make him go to
his classes if he doesn't feel like it that day. And I would definitely
stop working on his handwriting!! His brain isn't ready for it, just leave
it alone for a couple of years and see what things look like then. I don't
think he needs to be able to write anything until he's old enough to sign
checks. LOL I use my husband as an example: even he can't read his own
handwriting, and he can't spell. But he says that's what computers and
spell-checker programs are for! He practices law and runs 4 other
companies, so I can honestly say it hasn't slowed him down.
I guess you'll have to find some other folks who unschool in NZ and ask
about how to handle the review. You aren't the only ones there! My only
advise about that review is that you need to take care of your son first and
make the paperwork follow you, not the other way around. I hope you can
minimize how much control that review has over your son.
As to your son's bad moods, and, well, everything about your son: It's
so hard for the rest of us to know why he's not cheerful, since we aren't
right there. I can sympathize with you having to be around someone in a
blue funk, and I hope you can sympathize with your son. Make sure he's
eating whenever he's hungry and getting plenty of sleep at night. And try
to help him get in touch with what he feels he wants or needs, then help him
obtain it. If I were him, I would need some space from the toddler--bet you
could use a break from Flynn occassionally as well. Toddlers are so cool,
but they are also hard work.
Gee this is a long post. Hope there's something here that's useful to
you! Good luck! Deirdre
>Then he says that he is bored and why don't we do anything.
> Hi everyone,
>
> I just joined this list today. I live in beautiful NZ, have Daniel (just
> turned 11yrs) and Flynn (2.5yrs). We are 6 months into our trailblazing
> brand new life, and I am feeling some really uncomfy feelings coming up.
> I took Dan out of a Steiner School 6 months ago.
> I suggest things, and he either loses steam just outside of the startingLOVES
> gates or never ever finishes them.
> Daniel has problems with handwriting
> I do have some tension in me about the whole ERO review
> He says he needs to move all the time, that he just can't stay still.
> I feel like I am doing a crappy job just now and often feel like I don't
> really know what to do.
>
> I asked him what he would really like to be doing. He says reading (he
> reading fiction and reads voraciously) playing with his friends, playinghe
> computer games and bike riding. That's about all he wants to do. Oh, and
> occasionally does delve into writing science fantasy short stories a' la'challenging.
> Anne McCaffery Pern series kind of stuff.
>
> The thing I find most difficult is the moochingness that he displays. Like
> he is at this major loose end and I have to fix it. Its really
> I have to work hard not to get pissed off with him sometimes. I hate
> moodiness and just find that kind of "frozen" mood he gets in hard. (guess
> he does too) Arrgghh!
>
> I have a very wilful 2.5yr old as well, and this does place limits on what
> we can and can't do. He interfere's with absolutely everything!! And, Dan
> goes crazy with that!
>
> I guess I need to learn more about how he learns best. I just feel so lost
> right now.
>
> What did you do with your kids?? And with yourself?
>
> Thanks for listening and look forward to hearing from you,
>
> Hilary
puppyrat4750
--- In [email protected], "Hilary Jackson"
<hilary@l...> wrote:
I had a big long post and by the time I finished and hit the send
button, they timed me out of yahoo, so I lost it! So, quickly,
check out "Upside-down Brilliance: The Visual spatial learner" by
Linda Silverman www.gifteddevelopment.com
My daughter has been "diagnosed" as ADHD, but I think it's more the
above. Her handwriting is illegible, spelling horrible, but learns
words well visually (forget phoenics). We'll be starting
homeschooling/unschooling in the fall (she's in 6th grade, middle
school here is horrible).
More later, don't want to lose this a second time!
Jann (in Massachusetts)
<hilary@l...> wrote:
>> I guess I need to learn more about how he learns best. I justfeel so lost
> right now.Hilary,
>
I had a big long post and by the time I finished and hit the send
button, they timed me out of yahoo, so I lost it! So, quickly,
check out "Upside-down Brilliance: The Visual spatial learner" by
Linda Silverman www.gifteddevelopment.com
My daughter has been "diagnosed" as ADHD, but I think it's more the
above. Her handwriting is illegible, spelling horrible, but learns
words well visually (forget phoenics). We'll be starting
homeschooling/unschooling in the fall (she's in 6th grade, middle
school here is horrible).
More later, don't want to lose this a second time!
Jann (in Massachusetts)
puppyrat4750
> Daniel has problems with handwriting (if he was labelled, he wouldprob be labelled with dysgraphia - very high reading level, but
crappy speller), and so getting him to do anything in that vein is
very very hard. It makes him feel bad - I think a hangover from
school, felt like a real failure in the writing dept.>
My daughter hates to read, likes to be read to, loves the computer
(toontownonline, neopets - her typing has improved doing this!),
video games, animals, anime. We will need to deschool. Why worry
about handwriting when they can learn to type (and spellcheck). If
she doesn't know how to spell a word, she asks me. This way she
learns it correctly from the beginning, she has trouble figuring it
out for herself (visual/spatial.....). She has a wonderful
vocabulary (alot because I utilize interesting words). She's a lot
like my husband, I'm very different in my learning style. I've
learned alot about them by reading, reasearching etc etc.
There a lots of other chat groups on yahoo, check out Sandra Dodd's
sight often. She has wonderful information.
Jann