family
Liz Stevens
I am very interested to know how others in your family react to unschooling. I can't imagine my or dh's family reacting well to the thought of us unschooling. They would literally flip out LOL. I know I am way too sensitive to what other people think and say sometimes, even when I chart my own course. So how has YOUR family reacted?
Liz
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Liz
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[email protected]
In a message dated 2/6/2005 7:59:44 PM US Mountain Standard Time,
rosesgrow1@... writes:
outlaws,,,opps,,,me bad,,,,inlaws,,that i homeschool ,,,,god forbid if i even
mention unschooling,,,,geeezzzzzzz,,,youd think that ive grown horns or
something,,,,and i only have a mother inlaw and bro inlaw in town!!!
i dont go into it ,,i dont talk about anything to do with home/un-schooling
what so ever,,,and if they perchance ask a question i answer it as simply
without any extra info as possible,,,tis none of their bussiness,,,,,,,and dont
even get me started on the old crow across the street,,who told my daughter and
her homeschooled friend down the street that if they werent tested and the
tests sent into ''the people'' we would all go to jail,,,,puuullleesee,,,,
she stands at the end of my drive and looks at the house like she has xray
eyes,,,,,,,cant wait till she gets my bipolar hubby started,,,lol,,,,she would
LOVE that one lol........ok,,im off my soap box,,,gotta check dinner
rosesgrow1@... writes:
>well,,,let me tell you from my personal experience,,,it is bad enough with my
>
>
> I am very interested to know how others in your family react to unschooling.
> I can't imagine my or dh's family reacting well to the thought of us
> unschooling. They would literally flip out LOL. I know I am way too sensitive to
> what other people think and say sometimes, even when I chart my own course. So
> how has YOUR family reacted?
>
>
> Liz
>
outlaws,,,opps,,,me bad,,,,inlaws,,that i homeschool ,,,,god forbid if i even
mention unschooling,,,,geeezzzzzzz,,,youd think that ive grown horns or
something,,,,and i only have a mother inlaw and bro inlaw in town!!!
i dont go into it ,,i dont talk about anything to do with home/un-schooling
what so ever,,,and if they perchance ask a question i answer it as simply
without any extra info as possible,,,tis none of their bussiness,,,,,,,and dont
even get me started on the old crow across the street,,who told my daughter and
her homeschooled friend down the street that if they werent tested and the
tests sent into ''the people'' we would all go to jail,,,,puuullleesee,,,,
she stands at the end of my drive and looks at the house like she has xray
eyes,,,,,,,cant wait till she gets my bipolar hubby started,,,lol,,,,she would
LOVE that one lol........ok,,im off my soap box,,,gotta check dinner
>>June[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
mkesinding
We're 'closet unschoolers' LOL We've only been unschooling --oops I
mean homeschooling -- since September. Everyone assumes we're
sitting around all day filling out boring workbook pages. I don't
tell them any differently.
Maria
mean homeschooling -- since September. Everyone assumes we're
sitting around all day filling out boring workbook pages. I don't
tell them any differently.
Maria
[email protected]
In a message dated 2/6/2005 8:33:16 PM US Mountain Standard Time,
mkeasinding@... writes:
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mkeasinding@... writes:
>ditto,,,lmao,,,not sure how safe it is to come outta the closet...june
>
>
> We're 'closet unschoolers' LOL We've only been unschooling --oops I
> mean homeschooling -- since September. Everyone assumes we're
> sitting around all day filling out boring workbook pages. I don't
> tell them any differently.
>
> Maria
>
>
>
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Sylvia Toyama
Actually, my Mom is the only relative with whom I've even used the word unschooling. With the inlaws, my Dad and even my sibs, I say homeschool. I'm pretty sure that no amount of explanation would result in my mother in law every accepting unschooling. She's a retired K-3 teacher and my fil is a retired AF officer, and later gov't employee -- they just don't know how to live outside the box at all.
I mentioned the concept to my sister early in our homeschooling years, and she totally freaked at the very idea -- things like 'so then what if your child never learns to read? Will you still be reading things to them at 12 or 13 yrs old?" The sad part about that is that I think she'd have made a great unschooler. She was the very in-your-face non-conformist teenager who dropped out of high school at 16, but somehow in adulthood she's become very conformist -- I think it's fear-based. It's really sad to see her become such a traditionalist parent, with her son in a 'pre-honors' curriculum at the mid-school level. Even sadder, her daughter in the 1st grade was struggling, and finally earned a 'bug' (bringing up grades) award at the end of the year. What 6yo needs that kind of stress? Ah well, maybe someday when she realizes how much her daughter is like she was.
Sylvia
---------------------------------
Do you Yahoo!?
Yahoo! Search presents - Jib Jab's 'Second Term'
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I mentioned the concept to my sister early in our homeschooling years, and she totally freaked at the very idea -- things like 'so then what if your child never learns to read? Will you still be reading things to them at 12 or 13 yrs old?" The sad part about that is that I think she'd have made a great unschooler. She was the very in-your-face non-conformist teenager who dropped out of high school at 16, but somehow in adulthood she's become very conformist -- I think it's fear-based. It's really sad to see her become such a traditionalist parent, with her son in a 'pre-honors' curriculum at the mid-school level. Even sadder, her daughter in the 1st grade was struggling, and finally earned a 'bug' (bringing up grades) award at the end of the year. What 6yo needs that kind of stress? Ah well, maybe someday when she realizes how much her daughter is like she was.
Sylvia
---------------------------------
Do you Yahoo!?
Yahoo! Search presents - Jib Jab's 'Second Term'
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[email protected]
I agree, family members don't need to know one's methods. I mentioned we
unschool once. The response I got was "what is that". My response is "those
of us who do not attend public school".
Have a fun day
Cheryl
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unschool once. The response I got was "what is that". My response is "those
of us who do not attend public school".
Have a fun day
Cheryl
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Angela S
<<<I am very interested to know how others in your family react to
unschooling >>>
Here's a positive story about family and unschooling:
My family is accepting of what we do. (Or don't do.) It doesn't come up
very often but once I wrote a long note to my father explaining unschooling
to him after he question if they'd ever learn math unless we sat down and
taught them. I used all the things he's taught himself (wood working - and
he's great at it, ham radio, lots of other things) as an example of how
people are motivated to learn something when it interests them and I think
he got it. He wrote back a brief note that he understood and I haven't
heard anymore. That was maybe 2 years ago. I used to send my mother
articles on unschooling and things I wrote about unschooling and I assumed
she shared them with my father, but either I was wrong or he forgot. Not
surprising. They can have big communication gaps sometimes. Once, my
mother wrote back in response to one of my articles and said that she
thought I was doing a great job with my kids. She isn't one to lather on
praise and that meant a lot to me.
My in-laws are great about it too. Both of our families really value
privacy and not butting in where they don't belong, (an attribute of
Mainers, generally) so part of it is just that they don't want to be nosy
meddling in-laws. The second part of the equation, I believe, is that they
think that we are both intelligent people who make good decisions overall
and if we've researched something (which we have and we can debate it pretty
well) and we believe it's good enough for our kids then they trust our
decisions. We were both the rebellious type though and we'd do it with or
without their approval.
It helps that my kids are bright and curious. We both come from families
who enjoy games and the girls can play any game with the best of them. They
recently learned how to play Texas Hold 'Em and my 8 yo came away with $20
after a tournament. She beat my whole family. There were 11 people playing
that night and we'd all put in $2. I had put up her $2 for her, so her
winnings were $20.
Both girls have taken to emailing my mil who lives in Florida in the
winter. She really enjoys hearing from them and she always writes back.
That started in late fall and that has been the biggest factor in my
youngest learning to spell. Spell check has taught her to spell. She blows
me away, she's such a good speller now.
Angela
game-enthusiast@...
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unschooling >>>
Here's a positive story about family and unschooling:
My family is accepting of what we do. (Or don't do.) It doesn't come up
very often but once I wrote a long note to my father explaining unschooling
to him after he question if they'd ever learn math unless we sat down and
taught them. I used all the things he's taught himself (wood working - and
he's great at it, ham radio, lots of other things) as an example of how
people are motivated to learn something when it interests them and I think
he got it. He wrote back a brief note that he understood and I haven't
heard anymore. That was maybe 2 years ago. I used to send my mother
articles on unschooling and things I wrote about unschooling and I assumed
she shared them with my father, but either I was wrong or he forgot. Not
surprising. They can have big communication gaps sometimes. Once, my
mother wrote back in response to one of my articles and said that she
thought I was doing a great job with my kids. She isn't one to lather on
praise and that meant a lot to me.
My in-laws are great about it too. Both of our families really value
privacy and not butting in where they don't belong, (an attribute of
Mainers, generally) so part of it is just that they don't want to be nosy
meddling in-laws. The second part of the equation, I believe, is that they
think that we are both intelligent people who make good decisions overall
and if we've researched something (which we have and we can debate it pretty
well) and we believe it's good enough for our kids then they trust our
decisions. We were both the rebellious type though and we'd do it with or
without their approval.
It helps that my kids are bright and curious. We both come from families
who enjoy games and the girls can play any game with the best of them. They
recently learned how to play Texas Hold 'Em and my 8 yo came away with $20
after a tournament. She beat my whole family. There were 11 people playing
that night and we'd all put in $2. I had put up her $2 for her, so her
winnings were $20.
Both girls have taken to emailing my mil who lives in Florida in the
winter. She really enjoys hearing from them and she always writes back.
That started in late fall and that has been the biggest factor in my
youngest learning to spell. Spell check has taught her to spell. She blows
me away, she's such a good speller now.
Angela
game-enthusiast@...
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soggyboysmom
Well, MIL and FIL et al are fine with it - they homeschooled DH's 2
youngest sisters for high school (they were dx'd with anxiety
disorders which made it impossible for them to attend school) in a
pretty relaxed manner - probably would have ended up unschooling if
they had had more years in.
As for my family, we never said "unschooling" right off. We just
said we planned to homeschool DS (we decided before he could even
roll over!) We kept saying that and saying that and family saw him
growing and learning and having a great old time, without daycare
and preschool and all the "usual" stuff. Right around when he would
have started school (goodness, that's almost 2 years ago now!), we
started using the word unschooling interchangeably with
homeschooling when talking with family - "we're going to an
unschooling conference" for instance. What we were doing was no
different and they could see that DS was learning and doing great so
it was merely a matter of adjusting terminology at that point. Sort
of like boiling a frog - if you drop the frog into hot water, it'll
try to jump right back out. BUT if you pop it into cool water (like
its pond) then slowly turn up the heat, it'll never notice it's
being cooked until it's done. We let the results do most of the
explaining and convincing and then just added the terminology.
youngest sisters for high school (they were dx'd with anxiety
disorders which made it impossible for them to attend school) in a
pretty relaxed manner - probably would have ended up unschooling if
they had had more years in.
As for my family, we never said "unschooling" right off. We just
said we planned to homeschool DS (we decided before he could even
roll over!) We kept saying that and saying that and family saw him
growing and learning and having a great old time, without daycare
and preschool and all the "usual" stuff. Right around when he would
have started school (goodness, that's almost 2 years ago now!), we
started using the word unschooling interchangeably with
homeschooling when talking with family - "we're going to an
unschooling conference" for instance. What we were doing was no
different and they could see that DS was learning and doing great so
it was merely a matter of adjusting terminology at that point. Sort
of like boiling a frog - if you drop the frog into hot water, it'll
try to jump right back out. BUT if you pop it into cool water (like
its pond) then slowly turn up the heat, it'll never notice it's
being cooked until it's done. We let the results do most of the
explaining and convincing and then just added the terminology.
[email protected]
In a message dated 2/6/2005 9:59:49 PM Eastern Standard Time,
rosesgrow1@... writes:
same state as they do so they don't see us in action. My dh's family doesn't
know we unschool - we kinda dance around the subject when they ask us about
homeschooling. WE know what we do and are happy with it, so we feel it's not any
of their concern if we are doing things how THEY think we should. BUT, we
can't lie to them, so we are creative (the kids, too) in how we tell them what
we do. My mil wants to question us about everything, and we satisfy her
curiosity - we only see they a couple of times a year, so it's not too bad.
In reality, you are doing all sorts of learning. Think about it in subject
areas when asked by a family member that wants to make sure you're "doing what
you're supposed to do." Talk about subject areas in a broad sense. "We have
literature, grammar, math and science everyday, and usually cover history,
social studies, <whatever you want to mention> twice a week" usually satifies the
curious kin.
If you want to try to explain unschooling to family members, and they want to
understand it and trust that you are doing what is best for your kids (are
their families like that? lol) then I suggest to talk about it bits at a time.
Talk about how you learn all the time, and you follow the childrens interests
first. Next time, go a little deeper, and so on.
Just some of my thoughts and experiences...
Jill
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rosesgrow1@... writes:
>My family just doesn't really understand unschooling. We don't live in the
> I am very interested to know how others in your family react to unschooling.
> I can't imagine my or dh's family reacting well to the thought of us
> unschooling. They would literally flip out LOL. I know I am way too sensitive to
> what other people think and say sometimes, even when I chart my own course. So
> how has YOUR family reacted?
>
>
same state as they do so they don't see us in action. My dh's family doesn't
know we unschool - we kinda dance around the subject when they ask us about
homeschooling. WE know what we do and are happy with it, so we feel it's not any
of their concern if we are doing things how THEY think we should. BUT, we
can't lie to them, so we are creative (the kids, too) in how we tell them what
we do. My mil wants to question us about everything, and we satisfy her
curiosity - we only see they a couple of times a year, so it's not too bad.
In reality, you are doing all sorts of learning. Think about it in subject
areas when asked by a family member that wants to make sure you're "doing what
you're supposed to do." Talk about subject areas in a broad sense. "We have
literature, grammar, math and science everyday, and usually cover history,
social studies, <whatever you want to mention> twice a week" usually satifies the
curious kin.
If you want to try to explain unschooling to family members, and they want to
understand it and trust that you are doing what is best for your kids (are
their families like that? lol) then I suggest to talk about it bits at a time.
Talk about how you learn all the time, and you follow the childrens interests
first. Next time, go a little deeper, and so on.
Just some of my thoughts and experiences...
Jill
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J. Stauffer
<<<So how has YOUR family reacted?>>>
We found it best to use the term homeschooling until the family realized the kids weren't morons...then move into discussing unschooling only on an as needed basis.
Julie S.
We found it best to use the term homeschooling until the family realized the kids weren't morons...then move into discussing unschooling only on an as needed basis.
Julie S.
----- Original Message -----
From: Liz Stevens
To: [email protected]
Sent: Sunday, February 06, 2005 8:58 PM
Subject: [unschoolingbasics] family
I am very interested to know how others in your family react to unschooling. I can't imagine my or dh's family reacting well to the thought of us unschooling. They would literally flip out LOL. I know I am way too sensitive to what other people think and say sometimes, even when I chart my own course. So how has YOUR family reacted?
Liz
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[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Rue Kream
>>So how has YOUR family reacted?**We've had mixed reactions, and one funny one. We've always used the word
unschooling and have been really open with exactly what unschooling is to
everyone in our families. I was talking to my dad one day and said
something about the unschooling conference. He said, "Why do you say
unschooling instead of homeschooling?" I told him that we're unschoolers
because we don't teach our kids, etc. He asked me a bunch of questions. I
finally said, "Dad, you know all this. I've been talking about it for five
years." He replied, "I thought you were joking!" <G> ~Rue
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
[email protected]
I agree with the others that "homeschooling" is the word to use in the
beginning. When people ask (that might see otherwise) what curriculum or method
that I use, I say "the benefit of not being in school is that you don't have
to adhere to the limitations of school". I say I have done lots of research
on how people learn and apply these principles instead of how schools need
to deal with a large number and wide range of children. They usually stop
asking at that point.
In my own family, I just say "homeschooling" and "meet the needs of the
individual child" except with my mother. She was against the whole idea. We
just didn't discuss it. Just after her visit at Christmas, she told me she was
so glad the kids were homeschooling and she saw that they were learning and
growing without the negative impact schools have on kids. The other day, she
told me how she defended me when someone was saying negative things about
homeschoolers.
So, you just have to act confidently...that you know what you are doing. It
make awhile, but your family will see that your kids are learning.
Leslie in SC (Nick, 8 and Emmy, 4)
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
beginning. When people ask (that might see otherwise) what curriculum or method
that I use, I say "the benefit of not being in school is that you don't have
to adhere to the limitations of school". I say I have done lots of research
on how people learn and apply these principles instead of how schools need
to deal with a large number and wide range of children. They usually stop
asking at that point.
In my own family, I just say "homeschooling" and "meet the needs of the
individual child" except with my mother. She was against the whole idea. We
just didn't discuss it. Just after her visit at Christmas, she told me she was
so glad the kids were homeschooling and she saw that they were learning and
growing without the negative impact schools have on kids. The other day, she
told me how she defended me when someone was saying negative things about
homeschoolers.
So, you just have to act confidently...that you know what you are doing. It
make awhile, but your family will see that your kids are learning.
Leslie in SC (Nick, 8 and Emmy, 4)
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Syndi
My dear sweet mother in law and mom are both very supportive of
what we are doing. I got so excited over it all in the beginning I
sent them em's with links and explanations.
As for the rest of the family, what they don't know won't hurt them!
If asked, I just work around it, simply as possible. If they keep up
the questions, I go into detail about curriculum and websites,
worksheets, whatever it takes to get them off my back. Most family
memebers don't ask anymore, and we're only in our 2nd year of it.
There are those in the family, mostly one brother in law in
particular, that HAS to bring up education EVERY time we are around
him. His latest comment was that kids that are uneducated cannot
succeed in todays world. This coming from a man that has a son that
is 99% of the time grounded for bad grades. Even keeping him of TB
teams in summer and BB teams during the school year.
No, he got no response from me on this one. If fact, if anyone has
any comments on his remark i'd love to hear them.
s and sons, staying in the closet with the rest of ya'll!
what we are doing. I got so excited over it all in the beginning I
sent them em's with links and explanations.
As for the rest of the family, what they don't know won't hurt them!
If asked, I just work around it, simply as possible. If they keep up
the questions, I go into detail about curriculum and websites,
worksheets, whatever it takes to get them off my back. Most family
memebers don't ask anymore, and we're only in our 2nd year of it.
There are those in the family, mostly one brother in law in
particular, that HAS to bring up education EVERY time we are around
him. His latest comment was that kids that are uneducated cannot
succeed in todays world. This coming from a man that has a son that
is 99% of the time grounded for bad grades. Even keeping him of TB
teams in summer and BB teams during the school year.
No, he got no response from me on this one. If fact, if anyone has
any comments on his remark i'd love to hear them.
s and sons, staying in the closet with the rest of ya'll!
soggyboysmom
I usually ask questions in response to those types (if I respond at
all). "What constitutes 'educated' and why?" Usually gets a pause if
nothing else because even if they can verbalize what constitutes
educated, they usually have no reason except "that's the way school
does it" - which doesn't cut it on many fronts. Were our "Founding
Fathers" educated (any of them)? If yes, then his kids better be
learning Latin and philosophy and skip computers because that's what
educated people learned (among other things); if no, then gee isn't
founding a country considered "successful"?
all). "What constitutes 'educated' and why?" Usually gets a pause if
nothing else because even if they can verbalize what constitutes
educated, they usually have no reason except "that's the way school
does it" - which doesn't cut it on many fronts. Were our "Founding
Fathers" educated (any of them)? If yes, then his kids better be
learning Latin and philosophy and skip computers because that's what
educated people learned (among other things); if no, then gee isn't
founding a country considered "successful"?
[email protected]
I'm pretty loud and vocal about what we do. <g>
My first experience with homeschooling in general (not actually DOing it, just being exposed to it by others) was so awful, I think others need to know how wonderful UNschooling IS! <G>
I'd have started unschooling waaay sooner had I just *known* about it. So I figure I'll do my part to let others know that it exists.
My car is a traveling advertisment for unschooling! Bumper stickers everywhere! <G>
Living is Learning is Unschooling
Unschoolers Live and Learn
Free to Live, Learn, and Be---Unschooling Naturally
The Truly Educated Never Graduate
Why Be Normal?
If You Don't WANT to Read this, Blame a Teacher!
Imagination is More Important than Knowledge
and the new ones for next year:
Schools are for FISH!
Grades are for Meat and Eggs, Not Children!
Just Say NO! to School
So---to say the least, I get quite a few looks as we drive around town. I *really* love to pull ahead of cars with the teacher license plates----the ones for which people pay *more* to SC public education. <g> But I've been known as a bit of a PitA <g>
So you can imagine pulling the car into the in-laws' driveway! <g>
I'm quite happy to debate the issue with anyone---all they have to do is bring up the subject. Most of them avoid it now! <G>
They also know NOT to mess with my boys. All that took was *one* uncle to question Cameron about algebra---now they all just think I'm a nut.
Nuts are good. <g>
~Kelly, bring it ON!
My first experience with homeschooling in general (not actually DOing it, just being exposed to it by others) was so awful, I think others need to know how wonderful UNschooling IS! <G>
I'd have started unschooling waaay sooner had I just *known* about it. So I figure I'll do my part to let others know that it exists.
My car is a traveling advertisment for unschooling! Bumper stickers everywhere! <G>
Living is Learning is Unschooling
Unschoolers Live and Learn
Free to Live, Learn, and Be---Unschooling Naturally
The Truly Educated Never Graduate
Why Be Normal?
If You Don't WANT to Read this, Blame a Teacher!
Imagination is More Important than Knowledge
and the new ones for next year:
Schools are for FISH!
Grades are for Meat and Eggs, Not Children!
Just Say NO! to School
So---to say the least, I get quite a few looks as we drive around town. I *really* love to pull ahead of cars with the teacher license plates----the ones for which people pay *more* to SC public education. <g> But I've been known as a bit of a PitA <g>
So you can imagine pulling the car into the in-laws' driveway! <g>
I'm quite happy to debate the issue with anyone---all they have to do is bring up the subject. Most of them avoid it now! <G>
They also know NOT to mess with my boys. All that took was *one* uncle to question Cameron about algebra---now they all just think I'm a nut.
Nuts are good. <g>
~Kelly, bring it ON!
scrapgal
--- In [email protected], "Liz Stevens"
<rosesgrow1@b...> wrote:
My family (mother, father, brother, grandmother, aunt) are 100%
totally and unequivically against me homeschooling. I thought I had
broken some ground last year when my middle child said something
about unschooling and my mom didn't freak out, but I found out that
wasn't the case. Of course my mom is not happy with me because I
quit my job at her church and started my own business (Pampered
Chef). As much as I would love for them to support me and (mostly)
my children in their growing without schooling, I know I probably
won't. My parents have totally bought into the "school is best
school is the norm children *need* school" line. <sigh> So what I
have come to realize is that *I* am raising *MY* children. *they*
have no say in what I feed them, how I let them dress, and how they
learn all the things that they want to learn. I'm doing nothing
illegal or detrimental to my children so there are no grounds for me
to worry that they would try to take them from me. (Besides, my
mother has said on more than one occaission that she doesn't know
why in the world I had THREE children let alone ONE!)
Be a duck. Let it roll off your back. If they have their minds
made up, rarely does it change. *Sometimes* grandparents can become
wonderful advocates once they are proven that your methods work. I
managed to raise three beautiful (bias), healthy strong children and
breastfed them for extended periods of time, yet my parents still
can't equate breastfeeding to how they turned out. They can't see
the "big picture." They can't imagine that "the norm" won't work
for everyone. I'll never have those supportive grandparents. It's
one reason that our wills are set up so that if Dan and I both die
my family is not getting custody of the children.
Michelle
<rosesgrow1@b...> wrote:
> I am very interested to know how others in your family react tounschooling.
My family (mother, father, brother, grandmother, aunt) are 100%
totally and unequivically against me homeschooling. I thought I had
broken some ground last year when my middle child said something
about unschooling and my mom didn't freak out, but I found out that
wasn't the case. Of course my mom is not happy with me because I
quit my job at her church and started my own business (Pampered
Chef). As much as I would love for them to support me and (mostly)
my children in their growing without schooling, I know I probably
won't. My parents have totally bought into the "school is best
school is the norm children *need* school" line. <sigh> So what I
have come to realize is that *I* am raising *MY* children. *they*
have no say in what I feed them, how I let them dress, and how they
learn all the things that they want to learn. I'm doing nothing
illegal or detrimental to my children so there are no grounds for me
to worry that they would try to take them from me. (Besides, my
mother has said on more than one occaission that she doesn't know
why in the world I had THREE children let alone ONE!)
Be a duck. Let it roll off your back. If they have their minds
made up, rarely does it change. *Sometimes* grandparents can become
wonderful advocates once they are proven that your methods work. I
managed to raise three beautiful (bias), healthy strong children and
breastfed them for extended periods of time, yet my parents still
can't equate breastfeeding to how they turned out. They can't see
the "big picture." They can't imagine that "the norm" won't work
for everyone. I'll never have those supportive grandparents. It's
one reason that our wills are set up so that if Dan and I both die
my family is not getting custody of the children.
Michelle
Daniel MacIntyre
I operate on the same principle, but it has one small drawback. When
people realize how far ahead my son is in areas and then they find out
he learned it simply because he was interested in it, they figure he
is "gifted" and we need to structure his entire day or we aren't
"nourishing" his intellect (he's bright, but nothing he impresses them
with is out of the ordinary - He just spent a LOT of time finding out
about dinosaurs, sharks, ocean life, spiders, bugs and other animals).
I've even gotten pamphlets for various preschools and private schools
with gifted programs. Any comments I make about how obviously well he
is doing without this stuff is usually met with how well he would have
been doing if we strapped him down in an institution and force fed him
what an impersonal bureaucracy wants him to know (slight
paraphrasing).
Luckily, we have plenty of evidence to back up our approach and it IS
hard to say that a successful result is the wrong path.
people realize how far ahead my son is in areas and then they find out
he learned it simply because he was interested in it, they figure he
is "gifted" and we need to structure his entire day or we aren't
"nourishing" his intellect (he's bright, but nothing he impresses them
with is out of the ordinary - He just spent a LOT of time finding out
about dinosaurs, sharks, ocean life, spiders, bugs and other animals).
I've even gotten pamphlets for various preschools and private schools
with gifted programs. Any comments I make about how obviously well he
is doing without this stuff is usually met with how well he would have
been doing if we strapped him down in an institution and force fed him
what an impersonal bureaucracy wants him to know (slight
paraphrasing).
Luckily, we have plenty of evidence to back up our approach and it IS
hard to say that a successful result is the wrong path.
On Mon, 07 Feb 2005 08:18:43 -0600, J. Stauffer <jnjstau@...> wrote:
>
> <<<So how has YOUR family reacted?>>>
>
> We found it best to use the term homeschooling until the family realized the kids weren't morons...then move into discussing unschooling only on an as needed basis.
>
> Julie S.
>
>
> ----- Original Message -----
> From: Liz Stevens
> To: [email protected]
> Sent: Sunday, February 06, 2005 8:58 PM
> Subject: [unschoolingbasics] family
>
> I am very interested to know how others in your family react to unschooling. I can't imagine my or dh's family reacting well to the thought of us unschooling. They would literally flip out LOL. I know I am way too sensitive to what other people think and say sometimes, even when I chart my own course. So how has YOUR family reacted?
>
> Liz
>
> [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>
> ------------------------------------------------------------------------------
> Yahoo! Groups Links
>
> a.. To visit your group on the web, go to:
> http://groups.yahoo.com/group/unschoolingbasics/
>
> b.. To unsubscribe from this group, send an email to:
> [email protected]
>
> c.. Your use of Yahoo! Groups is subject to the Yahoo! Terms of Service.
>
>
> [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>
>
> Yahoo! Groups Links
>
>
>
>
>
Pam Sorooshian
On Feb 8, 2005, at 6:37 AM, Daniel MacIntyre wrote:
any of the philosophy behind unschooling - never understood unschooling
at all - just let it go because I knew so much more than he did and
clearly he either was going to have to do the research himself and get
up to speed to fight me on it, or just accept it. So he accepted it.
Now the kids are great - he can't argue that point. They're
intelligent, well-informed, better "educated" than either of us, for
the most part. So once in a while he says things like, "Imagine what
they'd know if they'd gone to school," like they'd be BETTER educated
if they'd gone to school. Ha. But he wonders, for real, if we haven't
deprived them. They haven't "studied" chemistry and biology and algebra
and calculus and world history and all those things he thinks they'd
have studied if they'd gone to school. He still believes in "better
learning through suffering." That's the problem. He still, after all
these years, can't entirely accept it that learning by choice and with
pleasure is REAL.
Even the evidence of his own wonderful kids seems like a fluke to him -
he doesn't really know how it happened that they learned so much, that
they are so knowledgeable and, in fact, academically capable. They
waltz into college courses and get "A's" - but he thinks those are not
like "real" college because they're at the community college. Now Roya
is at the "real" college, but she's in a lightweight major (Recreation
and Leisure Studies), so he discounts that, too. The absolute only
thing that would have proven to him that unschooling works would have
been for them to become medical doctors or engineers and none of them
have that inclination, so far. Thank GOODNESS they aren't doing it just
to prove something to their dad.
I chose my college major to prove something to MY dad. We argued
politics and he was a big businessman and could always end every
argument by saying, "You don't understand the economics of it." HA -
showed him. Got myself a graduate degree in economics. Let me just say
that proving something to your dad is not a good basis for a career
choice.
-pam
> Any comments I make about how obviously well heLOL - this is my husband's fall-back. He never has entirely understood
> is doing without this stuff is usually met with how well he would have
> been doing if we strapped him down in an institution and force fed him
> what an impersonal bureaucracy wants him to know (slight
> paraphrasing).
any of the philosophy behind unschooling - never understood unschooling
at all - just let it go because I knew so much more than he did and
clearly he either was going to have to do the research himself and get
up to speed to fight me on it, or just accept it. So he accepted it.
Now the kids are great - he can't argue that point. They're
intelligent, well-informed, better "educated" than either of us, for
the most part. So once in a while he says things like, "Imagine what
they'd know if they'd gone to school," like they'd be BETTER educated
if they'd gone to school. Ha. But he wonders, for real, if we haven't
deprived them. They haven't "studied" chemistry and biology and algebra
and calculus and world history and all those things he thinks they'd
have studied if they'd gone to school. He still believes in "better
learning through suffering." That's the problem. He still, after all
these years, can't entirely accept it that learning by choice and with
pleasure is REAL.
Even the evidence of his own wonderful kids seems like a fluke to him -
he doesn't really know how it happened that they learned so much, that
they are so knowledgeable and, in fact, academically capable. They
waltz into college courses and get "A's" - but he thinks those are not
like "real" college because they're at the community college. Now Roya
is at the "real" college, but she's in a lightweight major (Recreation
and Leisure Studies), so he discounts that, too. The absolute only
thing that would have proven to him that unschooling works would have
been for them to become medical doctors or engineers and none of them
have that inclination, so far. Thank GOODNESS they aren't doing it just
to prove something to their dad.
I chose my college major to prove something to MY dad. We argued
politics and he was a big businessman and could always end every
argument by saying, "You don't understand the economics of it." HA -
showed him. Got myself a graduate degree in economics. Let me just say
that proving something to your dad is not a good basis for a career
choice.
-pam
Shannon Rizzo
Pam, it is so refreshing to hear you say this. Your dh's reaction sounds
like that of mine, though mine thinks the kids are missing out on a lot of
fun by not being at school. Even though we've always unschooled (my 4 are
younger than 8, so "always" is just a couple of years), I've felt like I
wasn't honest-to-goodness unschooling unless my husband was a full
participant. Even though logically I knew this wasn't the case.
So, does your husband go to conferences with you? Do you feel the need to
fully sway him to being in accord with you?
Shannon
-----Original Message-----
LOL - this is my husband's fall-back. He never has entirely understood
any of the philosophy behind unschooling - never understood unschooling
at all - just let it go because I knew so much more than he did and
clearly he either was going to have to do the research himself and get
up to speed to fight me on it, or just accept it. So he accepted it.
<snip> So once in a while he says things like, "Imagine what
they'd know if they'd gone to school," like they'd be BETTER educated
if they'd gone to school. Ha. But he wonders, for real, if we haven't
deprived them.
<snip>
-pam
like that of mine, though mine thinks the kids are missing out on a lot of
fun by not being at school. Even though we've always unschooled (my 4 are
younger than 8, so "always" is just a couple of years), I've felt like I
wasn't honest-to-goodness unschooling unless my husband was a full
participant. Even though logically I knew this wasn't the case.
So, does your husband go to conferences with you? Do you feel the need to
fully sway him to being in accord with you?
Shannon
-----Original Message-----
LOL - this is my husband's fall-back. He never has entirely understood
any of the philosophy behind unschooling - never understood unschooling
at all - just let it go because I knew so much more than he did and
clearly he either was going to have to do the research himself and get
up to speed to fight me on it, or just accept it. So he accepted it.
<snip> So once in a while he says things like, "Imagine what
they'd know if they'd gone to school," like they'd be BETTER educated
if they'd gone to school. Ha. But he wonders, for real, if we haven't
deprived them.
<snip>
-pam
Daniel MacIntyre
On Tue, 8 Feb 2005 08:35:36 -0800, Pam Sorooshian
<pamsoroosh@...> wrote:
"you're taking WHAT!?" My dad wanted me to be a Pharmacist and my mom
wanted me to get a job with the Post Office.
<pamsoroosh@...> wrote:
>Ha! I got my BS in physics because I liked it when people said
>
> On Feb 8, 2005, at 6:37 AM, Daniel MacIntyre wrote:
>
> > Any comments I make about how obviously well he
> > is doing without this stuff is usually met with how well he would have
> > been doing if we strapped him down in an institution and force fed him
> > what an impersonal bureaucracy wants him to know (slight
> > paraphrasing).
>
> LOL - this is my husband's fall-back. He never has entirely understood
> any of the philosophy behind unschooling - never understood unschooling
> at all - just let it go because I knew so much more than he did and
> clearly he either was going to have to do the research himself and get
> up to speed to fight me on it, or just accept it. So he accepted it.
>
> Now the kids are great - he can't argue that point. They're
> intelligent, well-informed, better "educated" than either of us, for
> the most part. So once in a while he says things like, "Imagine what
> they'd know if they'd gone to school," like they'd be BETTER educated
> if they'd gone to school. Ha. But he wonders, for real, if we haven't
> deprived them. They haven't "studied" chemistry and biology and algebra
> and calculus and world history and all those things he thinks they'd
> have studied if they'd gone to school. He still believes in "better
> learning through suffering." That's the problem. He still, after all
> these years, can't entirely accept it that learning by choice and with
> pleasure is REAL.
>
> Even the evidence of his own wonderful kids seems like a fluke to him -
> he doesn't really know how it happened that they learned so much, that
> they are so knowledgeable and, in fact, academically capable. They
> waltz into college courses and get "A's" - but he thinks those are not
> like "real" college because they're at the community college. Now Roya
> is at the "real" college, but she's in a lightweight major (Recreation
> and Leisure Studies), so he discounts that, too. The absolute only
> thing that would have proven to him that unschooling works would have
> been for them to become medical doctors or engineers and none of them
> have that inclination, so far. Thank GOODNESS they aren't doing it just
> to prove something to their dad.
>
> I chose my college major to prove something to MY dad. We argued
> politics and he was a big businessman and could always end every
> argument by saying, "You don't understand the economics of it." HA -
> showed him. Got myself a graduate degree in economics. Let me just say
> that proving something to your dad is not a good basis for a career
> choice.
>
"you're taking WHAT!?" My dad wanted me to be a Pharmacist and my mom
wanted me to get a job with the Post Office.
> -pam
>
>
>
> Yahoo! Groups Links
>
>
>
>
>
Pam Sorooshian
On Feb 8, 2005, at 10:19 PM, Shannon Rizzo wrote:
good ones, unfortunately. It helped that he felt more that this was
something sort of legitimate, if there were conferences about it <G>.
I don't at all feel the need to fully sway him to being in accord with
me. His attitude has changed a LOT over the years - he's way more
supportive now than at the beginning - but I mostly stopped trying to
talk him into seeing things my way a long long time ago. If the actual
unfolding of our wonderful kids doesn't persuade him, how could my
words do it? He's just not going to "get it" fully - my husband is from
Iran, from a persecuted minority religion there - schooling was their
road to a better life. His success in school is why he's here today -
living here, with a family and good work and so on. It is too much to
expect that he'd be able to mentally just dump it all, as easily as I
have. I just expect him to go along without grumbling too much - to be
supportive of the kids activities and interests even though he's
worried because it doesn't look like school to him. I think, really,
he's kind of "got it" at this point more than he lets on - and he's
happy with them. But, truly, no doctors or engineers - so he's never
going to be completely thrilled.
-pam
> So, does your husband go to conferences with you? Do you feel theI've dragged him along to a conference or two - but never to the really
> need to
> fully sway him to being in accord with you?
good ones, unfortunately. It helped that he felt more that this was
something sort of legitimate, if there were conferences about it <G>.
I don't at all feel the need to fully sway him to being in accord with
me. His attitude has changed a LOT over the years - he's way more
supportive now than at the beginning - but I mostly stopped trying to
talk him into seeing things my way a long long time ago. If the actual
unfolding of our wonderful kids doesn't persuade him, how could my
words do it? He's just not going to "get it" fully - my husband is from
Iran, from a persecuted minority religion there - schooling was their
road to a better life. His success in school is why he's here today -
living here, with a family and good work and so on. It is too much to
expect that he'd be able to mentally just dump it all, as easily as I
have. I just expect him to go along without grumbling too much - to be
supportive of the kids activities and interests even though he's
worried because it doesn't look like school to him. I think, really,
he's kind of "got it" at this point more than he lets on - and he's
happy with them. But, truly, no doctors or engineers - so he's never
going to be completely thrilled.
-pam
Lisa H
<<Pam Sorooshian wrote: Let me just say that proving something to your dad is not a good basis for a career choice.>>
Ditto...i did the suit on Madison Avenue thing to prove to businessman dad and taught university at same time to prove to PhD mom...all without a college degree...just to prove i could...and boy am i glad i don't have to do that any more...i still don't know what i will be when i grow up...but i am being me now...unschooling mom having a wonderful magical time of it...aint life grand.
As for talking about unschooling to my family...i've never used the word and don't use the word when explaining to them and other non-unschoolers when i say "we don't do school at home." Then when asked how my kids learn such and such...i explain how they learn such and such..if they've learned such and such - and if they haven't learned such and such yet...i say i'll let you know when it happens ; )
Lisa Heyman
NY
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Ditto...i did the suit on Madison Avenue thing to prove to businessman dad and taught university at same time to prove to PhD mom...all without a college degree...just to prove i could...and boy am i glad i don't have to do that any more...i still don't know what i will be when i grow up...but i am being me now...unschooling mom having a wonderful magical time of it...aint life grand.
As for talking about unschooling to my family...i've never used the word and don't use the word when explaining to them and other non-unschoolers when i say "we don't do school at home." Then when asked how my kids learn such and such...i explain how they learn such and such..if they've learned such and such - and if they haven't learned such and such yet...i say i'll let you know when it happens ; )
Lisa Heyman
NY
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]