lonely, bored, restless
odiniella
That's my daughter (14). She decided to register for the local public
school's charter program (project based learning) so we're busy making
her experiences fit a transcript and catching her up academically.
She's quite excited about this and I don't blame her. It sounds
terribly fun. However, the realist in me recognizes that it's not going
to be all fun, but lots of hard work, and even though it's project
based there will be academic requirements that are likely to challenge
her (and not in a good way). She expects it to be hard, but at age 14,
I think she can't really visualize it like I can. Maybe I'm just
pessimistic, I don't know. I'll do everything I can to help her
succeed, but I've come to realize (finally) why this is so appealing to
her - she's lonely, bored and restless.
In our town, most homsechooled teens are absorbed into the public school
environment and those of us who are not, are left to hear the crickets
chirp. The next town over has a sizable unschooling group with park
days every week but my kids are no long willing to go. They feel like
outsiders, and that makes them feel uncomfortable. I'm not sure what
makes them feel like outsiders, but in any case, they won't go. They
tell me I can go myself. ;) She's not interested in taking local
classes like photography or cake decorating or things that would
generally appeal to her and I think it's because she wants to be with
other teens. I can't blame her and I can't figure out how to provide
that for her. At the very least, I want her to enjoy this summer before
school starts but in the back of my head I'm also thinking if she
doesn't want to continue with this school, I don't want her to dread
coming home. She has enough learning challenges that I suspect she's
not going to enjoy the school experience very long, so I'm trying to
figure out how to meet her social need, but I'm stuck.
Help?
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
school's charter program (project based learning) so we're busy making
her experiences fit a transcript and catching her up academically.
She's quite excited about this and I don't blame her. It sounds
terribly fun. However, the realist in me recognizes that it's not going
to be all fun, but lots of hard work, and even though it's project
based there will be academic requirements that are likely to challenge
her (and not in a good way). She expects it to be hard, but at age 14,
I think she can't really visualize it like I can. Maybe I'm just
pessimistic, I don't know. I'll do everything I can to help her
succeed, but I've come to realize (finally) why this is so appealing to
her - she's lonely, bored and restless.
In our town, most homsechooled teens are absorbed into the public school
environment and those of us who are not, are left to hear the crickets
chirp. The next town over has a sizable unschooling group with park
days every week but my kids are no long willing to go. They feel like
outsiders, and that makes them feel uncomfortable. I'm not sure what
makes them feel like outsiders, but in any case, they won't go. They
tell me I can go myself. ;) She's not interested in taking local
classes like photography or cake decorating or things that would
generally appeal to her and I think it's because she wants to be with
other teens. I can't blame her and I can't figure out how to provide
that for her. At the very least, I want her to enjoy this summer before
school starts but in the back of my head I'm also thinking if she
doesn't want to continue with this school, I don't want her to dread
coming home. She has enough learning challenges that I suspect she's
not going to enjoy the school experience very long, so I'm trying to
figure out how to meet her social need, but I'm stuck.
Help?
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
undermom
--- In [email protected], "odiniella" <hgaimari@...> wrote:
**She has enough learning challenges that I suspect she's
not going to enjoy the school experience very long, so I'm trying to
figure out how to meet her social need, but I'm stuck.**
I've been deathly sick for more than a week and I'm certain this is going to come off harshly. Still it needs to be said.
As long as your daughter's needs for socialization and getting out of the house are seen as less urgent than her brother's need to stay home, you will all remain stuck. His anxiety is being allowed to run her life, as well as his own. Not fair.
These aren't separate issues or separate topics. She can't count on you to help her get what or where she needs to go.
Sorry. Have to go sleep again. :/
Deborah in IL
odiniella
I hear you there.
They're not separate issues, I can see that now.
With each question I ask here, I find there's a deeper issue than the
one I've identified. Thanks for helping me identify this one.
I hope you feel better soon.
--- In [email protected], "undermom" <DACunefare@...>
wrote:
you will all remain stuck. His anxiety is being allowed to run her life,
as well as his own. Not fair.
They're not separate issues, I can see that now.
With each question I ask here, I find there's a deeper issue than the
one I've identified. Thanks for helping me identify this one.
I hope you feel better soon.
--- In [email protected], "undermom" <DACunefare@...>
wrote:
>going to come off harshly. Still it needs to be said.
> --- In [email protected], "odiniella" hgaimari@ wrote:
> **She has enough learning challenges that I suspect she's
> not going to enjoy the school experience very long, so I'm trying to
> figure out how to meet her social need, but I'm stuck.**
>
> I've been deathly sick for more than a week and I'm certain this is
>the house are seen as less urgent than her brother's need to stay home,
> As long as your daughter's needs for socialization and getting out of
you will all remain stuck. His anxiety is being allowed to run her life,
as well as his own. Not fair.
>you to help her get what or where she needs to go.
> These aren't separate issues or separate topics. She can't count on
>[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
> Sorry. Have to go sleep again. :/
>
> Deborah in IL
>