When everyone talks at once...
messy_boys
I need some ideas on how to handle my littles when everyone wants to ask me something or tell me something at the same time. There are four of them, ages 7, 5, 4 and 2. Often, two or more of them will want to talk to me at the same time. I try to get everyone to be quiet and then start with the littlest and go up...but it's hard to even get to the point of everyone being quiet! And then the older ones are angry that they had to wait. Any ideas appreciated?!
Kristie
Kristie
Joyce Fetteroll
On Apr 20, 2012, at 12:58 AM, messy_boys wrote:
If it's raining, you can't stop the rain. But you can be sympathetic and understanding. You can offer alternatives. But their emotions are their own.
It might help to hear everyone out first. Get down on their level. And then draw them into the problem solving process. Some of the requests of the younger the older kids might be able to help with. Some of the tasks can be broken down into simpler things the younger could help with, like grabbing some paper towels for a spill. The ones you're doing something for are more likely to be willing to do something for another one, especially if it frees you up to help them ;-)
Joyce
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
> but it's hard to even get to the point of everyone being quiet!Be calm and honest and patient and understanding and matter of fact that you're only one person. Don't let their emotion drive up your emotions.
> And then the older ones are angry that they had to wait. Any ideas appreciated?!
If it's raining, you can't stop the rain. But you can be sympathetic and understanding. You can offer alternatives. But their emotions are their own.
It might help to hear everyone out first. Get down on their level. And then draw them into the problem solving process. Some of the requests of the younger the older kids might be able to help with. Some of the tasks can be broken down into simpler things the younger could help with, like grabbing some paper towels for a spill. The ones you're doing something for are more likely to be willing to do something for another one, especially if it frees you up to help them ;-)
Joyce
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Meredith
As much as you can, use body language to communicate to whoever's Not talking that they're still important to you - looks, touches, winks, even leaning in one direction while you look in the other can let them know you care and are responding to them, even if it's not exactly what they want in the moment. You can also use body language to communicate if one child Wants something while another wants to talk - point and make a "questioning" face, or hold out a hand if you see a child has an object. Then you may also be able to interject a quick question as an aside without more than pausing the flow of the speaker.
It might also help to shift your priorities from answering in order of age to something else - it doesn't have to be the same criterion each time, and it will depend on what sorts of things they want to tell you. If one child tends to be long-winded, for instance, it might be better to hear what others have to say first. Or if one child wants to show you something you could be looking while listening to someone else.
---Meredith
It might also help to shift your priorities from answering in order of age to something else - it doesn't have to be the same criterion each time, and it will depend on what sorts of things they want to tell you. If one child tends to be long-winded, for instance, it might be better to hear what others have to say first. Or if one child wants to show you something you could be looking while listening to someone else.
---Meredith