12 year old transitions?
danajeh
Hi, I just read this, from Joyce, in the "worried" thread:
"She's also at an age when kids *do* start to get interested in more focused learning. And basically the only model they know of is school. So the free form exploration they're doing can feel it comes up short.
It's also a period of transitions between interests. So it can be a more difficult time for her to explore interests. And school can look like it has some magical process of getting that vague feeling of needing focus but can't quite put her finger on."
This describes my 12 1/2 yr old son very well and I am wondering if people have practical advice for me. Over the years he has participated in all sorts of outside activities including classes, clubs, homeschool group, travel, etc as well as having tons of at-home time for lego, reading, gaming, etc. He is restless and wants *more* and we are in a bumpy, uncomfortable period where we are headed somewhere new but don't know where or how.
He has said that he plans on going to high school (which would be in a year and a half) and wants to spend this time making sure he knows everything that school-kids have been learning. I've been finding resources for him and sitting with him when he is in the mood to work on stuff. I'm fine with supporting him in this way, but I am wondering what else is out there for young teens besides school. I would like for him to have lots of options so that if he chooses school it is because that is the best option for him rather than choosing school because he/I don't know what other possibilities there are.
Some of the things he has expressed: he wants to widen his social circle; he wants structured activities (an adult who knows what they're doing setting out a plan for him and guiding him through it); he likes the group momentum and camaraderie of a classroom; he wants to feel confident that he can do whatever he wants (go to college, apply for jobs). I sense that he is craving some challenge and depth and also that he wants to be swimming with all the other fish and not feel so out-of-the-mainstream.
Any been-there-done-that? Advice? Inspiration? Resources? I'd love to hear about other people's experiences.
Thank you,
Jen
"She's also at an age when kids *do* start to get interested in more focused learning. And basically the only model they know of is school. So the free form exploration they're doing can feel it comes up short.
It's also a period of transitions between interests. So it can be a more difficult time for her to explore interests. And school can look like it has some magical process of getting that vague feeling of needing focus but can't quite put her finger on."
This describes my 12 1/2 yr old son very well and I am wondering if people have practical advice for me. Over the years he has participated in all sorts of outside activities including classes, clubs, homeschool group, travel, etc as well as having tons of at-home time for lego, reading, gaming, etc. He is restless and wants *more* and we are in a bumpy, uncomfortable period where we are headed somewhere new but don't know where or how.
He has said that he plans on going to high school (which would be in a year and a half) and wants to spend this time making sure he knows everything that school-kids have been learning. I've been finding resources for him and sitting with him when he is in the mood to work on stuff. I'm fine with supporting him in this way, but I am wondering what else is out there for young teens besides school. I would like for him to have lots of options so that if he chooses school it is because that is the best option for him rather than choosing school because he/I don't know what other possibilities there are.
Some of the things he has expressed: he wants to widen his social circle; he wants structured activities (an adult who knows what they're doing setting out a plan for him and guiding him through it); he likes the group momentum and camaraderie of a classroom; he wants to feel confident that he can do whatever he wants (go to college, apply for jobs). I sense that he is craving some challenge and depth and also that he wants to be swimming with all the other fish and not feel so out-of-the-mainstream.
Any been-there-done-that? Advice? Inspiration? Resources? I'd love to hear about other people's experiences.
Thank you,
Jen
Meredith
"danajeh" <danajeh@...> wrote:
Look into volunteer options and paying jobs in whatever are his areas of interest. That will set him up to meet more people and he'll be doing something structured, too. And those are the sorts of things which look good on future applications - whether for college or other jobs.
Along similar lines, is he interested in teaching anything or hosting a club? It may be possible to set something up with the local library or other venues - hobby shops or comic shops, for instance.
---Meredith
>> Some of the things he has expressed: he wants to widen his social circle; he wants structured activities*****************
Look into volunteer options and paying jobs in whatever are his areas of interest. That will set him up to meet more people and he'll be doing something structured, too. And those are the sorts of things which look good on future applications - whether for college or other jobs.
Along similar lines, is he interested in teaching anything or hosting a club? It may be possible to set something up with the local library or other venues - hobby shops or comic shops, for instance.
---Meredith
danajeh
This kind of thing I don't have much experience with, it being outside my comfort zone (shy!). How do I help a 12 yr old find a paying job or volunteer position? He has tried offering pet sitting in our neighborhood, and has done misc. odd jobs for family friends. What are some possibilities that are more regular? What are some possibilities for volunteering? The things I'm aware of are 14+ but I know that it is possible if you know what you're looking for, or if you're lucky and stumble upon the thing.
His interests are mainly computer related. He was running a Minecraft server for a while and now works with a kid in England on another server. He makes plug-ins, adventure maps, does admin duties, figures out how to promote the server, makes video tutorials http://www.youtube.com/user/CrazyMiner27/videos :-) This, along with 4-H, Robotics, 3 classes/wk at a nearby school, our local homeschool group that meets weekly, and random activities like roller skating...he is just wanting something *more* or...something :-/
I had the idea earlier that I should check out the Teenage Liberation Handbook. I read it when he was about 4 yrs old. Does anyone know of other things I can offer him that might inspire him? Role models?
Jen
His interests are mainly computer related. He was running a Minecraft server for a while and now works with a kid in England on another server. He makes plug-ins, adventure maps, does admin duties, figures out how to promote the server, makes video tutorials http://www.youtube.com/user/CrazyMiner27/videos :-) This, along with 4-H, Robotics, 3 classes/wk at a nearby school, our local homeschool group that meets weekly, and random activities like roller skating...he is just wanting something *more* or...something :-/
I had the idea earlier that I should check out the Teenage Liberation Handbook. I read it when he was about 4 yrs old. Does anyone know of other things I can offer him that might inspire him? Role models?
Jen
--- In [email protected], "Meredith" <plaidpanties666@...> wrote:
>
> Look into volunteer options and paying jobs in whatever are his areas of interest.
>
> ---Meredith
>
Laura A Pontrelli PHD
My 14 year old is in line for a volunteer spot at the public library. I had a conversation with them about what kids do. The kids just looking for community service hours re-shelve books. Kids who have a greater interest or commitment - not just fulfilling a requirement- start out learning the stacks then get put on "special projects" described as fun and varied. I live in New york and see that the public library system is pretty behind the rest of the world in technology- have it and use it but seems like so much more could be developed if the money and talent were there. Not sure where you are, the status of your public library system, or if this would be of interest, but perhaps worth an inquiry.
I just skimmed the teen lib handbook- there is a list of ideas that might get you on a good track. For us its been about seeing what is in the community and local enough to get to regularly. We have groups doing Midnight Run (feeding the homeless and giving them coats in NYC). We have Agfa, church groups that do some good stuff, all sorts of Hudson River environmental groups including Pete Seeger and his work with Clearwater, when you start looking one thing gets you connected to another or to another person who knows all kinds of things.
Laura
I just skimmed the teen lib handbook- there is a list of ideas that might get you on a good track. For us its been about seeing what is in the community and local enough to get to regularly. We have groups doing Midnight Run (feeding the homeless and giving them coats in NYC). We have Agfa, church groups that do some good stuff, all sorts of Hudson River environmental groups including Pete Seeger and his work with Clearwater, when you start looking one thing gets you connected to another or to another person who knows all kinds of things.
Laura
On Feb 14, 2012, at 10:17 PM, danajeh wrote:
> This kind of thing I don't have much experience with, it being outside my comfort zone (shy!). How do I help a 12 yr old find a paying job or volunteer position? He has tried offering pet sitting in our neighborhood, and has done misc. odd jobs for family friends. What are some possibilities that are more regular? What are some possibilities for volunteering? The things I'm aware of are 14+ but I know that it is possible if you know what you're looking for, or if you're lucky and stumble upon the thing.
>
> His interests are mainly computer related. He was running a Minecraft server for a while and now works with a kid in England on another server. He makes plug-ins, adventure maps, does admin duties, figures out how to promote the server, makes video tutorials http://www.youtube.com/user/CrazyMiner27/videos :-) This, along with 4-H, Robotics, 3 classes/wk at a nearby school, our local homeschool group that meets weekly, and random activities like roller skating...he is just wanting something *more* or...something :-/
>
> I had the idea earlier that I should check out the Teenage Liberation Handbook. I read it when he was about 4 yrs old. Does anyone know of other things I can offer him that might inspire him? Role models?
>
> Jen
>
> --- In [email protected], "Meredith" <plaidpanties666@...> wrote:
> >
>
> > Look into volunteer options and paying jobs in whatever are his areas of interest.
> >
> > ---Meredith
> >
>
>
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Vickisue Gray
danajeh" <danajeh@... > wrote:
My son finally reached this stage when he turned 13. (He went through bad school experiences between K and 2nd so we pulled him home.)
His earlier experiences plus a few nasty kids he met at a local homeschooling group, left him on edge about stepping out to widen his circle.
He ended up joining a martial arts school which got him over his 'shyness' and now he has joined a Brazilian Ju Jitsu School which has a bunch
of teens, both male and female, around his age. His confidence has grown right along with his skills.
I'd suggest you really research all the options in your area and see if any interest him.
My one daughter currently volunteers at the local zoo and ASPCA. She loves it.
Peace and laughter!
Good luck!
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>> Some of the things he has expressed: he wants to widen his social circle; he wants structured activities************ *****
My son finally reached this stage when he turned 13. (He went through bad school experiences between K and 2nd so we pulled him home.)
His earlier experiences plus a few nasty kids he met at a local homeschooling group, left him on edge about stepping out to widen his circle.
He ended up joining a martial arts school which got him over his 'shyness' and now he has joined a Brazilian Ju Jitsu School which has a bunch
of teens, both male and female, around his age. His confidence has grown right along with his skills.
I'd suggest you really research all the options in your area and see if any interest him.
My one daughter currently volunteers at the local zoo and ASPCA. She loves it.
Peace and laughter!
Good luck!
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Latha Poonamallee
If he likes hanging out with other kids, babysitting
homeschooling/unschooling children is an option. For example, I am a full
time (but huge flexibility) working and unschooling mom. I have always had
homeschooling teenagers as babysitters/companions.
H
homeschooling/unschooling children is an option. For example, I am a full
time (but huge flexibility) working and unschooling mom. I have always had
homeschooling teenagers as babysitters/companions.
H
On Wed, Feb 15, 2012 at 11:15 AM, Vickisue Gray <vickisue_gray@...>wrote:
> **
>
>
> danajeh" <danajeh@... > wrote:
> >> Some of the things he has expressed: he wants to widen his social
> circle; he wants structured activities
> ************ *****
> My son finally reached this stage when he turned 13. (He went through bad
> school experiences between K and 2nd so we pulled him home.)
> His earlier experiences plus a few nasty kids he met at a local
> homeschooling group, left him on edge about stepping out to widen his
> circle.
> He ended up joining a martial arts school which got him over his 'shyness'
> and now he has joined a Brazilian Ju Jitsu School which has a bunch
>
> of teens, both male and female, around his age. His confidence has grown
> right along with his skills.
>
> I'd suggest you really research all the options in your area and see if
> any interest him.
> My one daughter currently volunteers at the local zoo and ASPCA. She
> loves it.
>
> Peace and laughter!
>
> Good luck!
>
> [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>
>
>
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]