Another food question :)
ushabug
This one regarding $. What to do if I can't replace something?
For example my kids loooove bananas - all of them. I buy enough for them each to have one a day and go to the store several times a week for bananas. If I leave out a fruit bowl, on child will likely eat all the bananas there. And that would be all for the week. We are not in the best financial situation so if I "allow" a child to eat the whole box of crackers then no children get snack for the week. I can buy 2 boxes a week.
So do I stop protecting them from this and just let them choose how much of each thing to eat, even if it means depriving themselves and siblings and just let "natural consequences" teach this? I feel that most natural consequences are contrived and that I should protect them from harm when possible - if I see a doll outside when raining I bring it in! I don't leave it to get ruined to allow "natural consequences".
So how does this apply to food, with real financial or resource based limitations. This isn't a manufactured limit - only 2 cookies each. This is reality, I have 15 bananas for the week.
Usha
For example my kids loooove bananas - all of them. I buy enough for them each to have one a day and go to the store several times a week for bananas. If I leave out a fruit bowl, on child will likely eat all the bananas there. And that would be all for the week. We are not in the best financial situation so if I "allow" a child to eat the whole box of crackers then no children get snack for the week. I can buy 2 boxes a week.
So do I stop protecting them from this and just let them choose how much of each thing to eat, even if it means depriving themselves and siblings and just let "natural consequences" teach this? I feel that most natural consequences are contrived and that I should protect them from harm when possible - if I see a doll outside when raining I bring it in! I don't leave it to get ruined to allow "natural consequences".
So how does this apply to food, with real financial or resource based limitations. This isn't a manufactured limit - only 2 cookies each. This is reality, I have 15 bananas for the week.
Usha
Joyce Fetteroll
On Dec 23, 2011, at 2:17 PM, ushabug wrote:
Where parents can damage relationships is by making arbitrary limits and by controlling.
So you may want to rethink the "can't" and involve the kids in problem solving. Trust that they don't want to break the bank for bananas! But they may be willing to give something else up to get more bananas. They may want to play around with ideas for a while. After they've deprived themselves of other things for the sake of bananas, they may -- may! -- be less needful of bananas.
It would be rude of one chid to eat them all. As Pam Sorooshian has said, don't set your kids up to fail! Don't set it up to let a child do that.
The more you control, the more the kids will fight for their own control. The more you involve them in the process of getting them what they want, they'll experience what the real limitations are and understand better.
Joyce
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
> This one regarding $. What to do if I can't replace something?If you can't, you can't. Unschooling and mindful parenting can't change reality! ;-)
Where parents can damage relationships is by making arbitrary limits and by controlling.
So you may want to rethink the "can't" and involve the kids in problem solving. Trust that they don't want to break the bank for bananas! But they may be willing to give something else up to get more bananas. They may want to play around with ideas for a while. After they've deprived themselves of other things for the sake of bananas, they may -- may! -- be less needful of bananas.
> If I leave out a fruit bowl, on child will likely eat all the bananas there.It's a reaction to limitations. When anything loved is limited, people will try to grab as much as they can when it's available to carry them through the time when it's not available.
It would be rude of one chid to eat them all. As Pam Sorooshian has said, don't set your kids up to fail! Don't set it up to let a child do that.
> This isn't a manufactured limit - only 2 cookies each. This is reality, I have 15 bananas for the week.You could make cookies. Buy cheaper cookies. Explore options *with* the kids. Try things out.
The more you control, the more the kids will fight for their own control. The more you involve them in the process of getting them what they want, they'll experience what the real limitations are and understand better.
Joyce
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Meredith
"ushabug" <ushabug@...> wrote:
Life has real limits - unschooling isn't about living in a magic world where everything is perfect, it happens in the real world in real families.
In the real world, though, if you can't afford to feed your family, then you may not have the resources necessary to unschooling. Unschooling Does require resources! Which specific resources will vary depending on the needs and personalities of members of the family, though. There are unschooling families of very limited means and families of much greater financial means which don't have the resources (personal or social or imaginative) to unschool.
But if you Can afford to give everyone in the family enough to eat, the issue may be one of shifting your attitudes about what kids "should" be eating and looking for ways to meet everyone's desires as much as you can. If you treat their desires as valid, then the matter becomes a logistical puzzle rather than one of consequences - how can we make this work?
What about banana flavored stuff? That could be a way to give the kids what they want and stretch your dollars. Or, if they're eating lots of bananas, cut out something else to compensate, like fruit juices (which are expensive! ye gads...).
Again, treat it as a logistical puzzle. If they're eating whole boxes of crackers, what are they Not eating as a result that you can cut out of the budget for awhile?
Alternately, can you make your own crackers? Or make something just as appealing? Home-made baked goods (cookies, cakes, pies, etc) can go a long way toward stretching the budget and creating a happy home environment where food is concerned.
All that being said, its not a disaster for some foods to be "luxuries" and to feast on them only to have them disappear for awhile. Foods your kids like to eat every day, though - its worth re-arranging your budget and expectations to Provide those every day.
---Meredith
>> So how does this apply to food, with real financial or resource based limitations. This isn't a manufactured limit - only 2 cookies each. This is reality, I have 15 bananas for the week.******************
Life has real limits - unschooling isn't about living in a magic world where everything is perfect, it happens in the real world in real families.
In the real world, though, if you can't afford to feed your family, then you may not have the resources necessary to unschooling. Unschooling Does require resources! Which specific resources will vary depending on the needs and personalities of members of the family, though. There are unschooling families of very limited means and families of much greater financial means which don't have the resources (personal or social or imaginative) to unschool.
But if you Can afford to give everyone in the family enough to eat, the issue may be one of shifting your attitudes about what kids "should" be eating and looking for ways to meet everyone's desires as much as you can. If you treat their desires as valid, then the matter becomes a logistical puzzle rather than one of consequences - how can we make this work?
> If I leave out a fruit bowl, on child will likely eat all the bananas there.******************
What about banana flavored stuff? That could be a way to give the kids what they want and stretch your dollars. Or, if they're eating lots of bananas, cut out something else to compensate, like fruit juices (which are expensive! ye gads...).
>>if I "allow" a child to eat the whole box of crackers then no children get snack for the week. I can buy 2 boxes a week.********************
Again, treat it as a logistical puzzle. If they're eating whole boxes of crackers, what are they Not eating as a result that you can cut out of the budget for awhile?
Alternately, can you make your own crackers? Or make something just as appealing? Home-made baked goods (cookies, cakes, pies, etc) can go a long way toward stretching the budget and creating a happy home environment where food is concerned.
All that being said, its not a disaster for some foods to be "luxuries" and to feast on them only to have them disappear for awhile. Foods your kids like to eat every day, though - its worth re-arranging your budget and expectations to Provide those every day.
---Meredith
Meredith
"ushabug" <ushabug@...> wrote:>
For example my kids loooove bananas...
****************
It might also be useful to look at dietary supplements. What's in a banana they might not be getting elsewhere? Potassium? Do some research and look at supplements. I've done that for myself - recently I was looking at full spectrum bulbs for the house and wincing over the price and decided I could take Vitamin D and spend a tenth of the money. If nothing else, it seemed worth the experiment - and indeed I'm passing the "dark" month of December with less than my usual low spiritedness.
---Meredith
For example my kids loooove bananas...
****************
It might also be useful to look at dietary supplements. What's in a banana they might not be getting elsewhere? Potassium? Do some research and look at supplements. I've done that for myself - recently I was looking at full spectrum bulbs for the house and wincing over the price and decided I could take Vitamin D and spend a tenth of the money. If nothing else, it seemed worth the experiment - and indeed I'm passing the "dark" month of December with less than my usual low spiritedness.
---Meredith
Kerryn LH
Are there other options for buying bananas? Is it possible to buy them in
bulk and/or at a cheaper price? I ask because I travel a little further
than our local supermarket to some markets where I can usually buy fruit &
veg at half the supermarket price. Maybe there is some kind of fruit/veg
buying co-op? Or perhaps there's a way to get "seconds" - fruit that maybe
is wonky in shape or not evenly coloured, ie not "perfect". Depending on
where you live though, your options may be limited.
Bananas are very cheap here at the moment so I'm buying lots. Once they're
ripe they go into the freezer and the kids like to eat them frozen, or I
can throw them in smoothies.
As others have said, can you juggle your budget a little? Might it be
"worth it" to the kids to skip eating meat at one meal in order to have
more bananas?
There are lots of good recipes for making cheap baked goods. Some, like
this one http://www.stayathomemum.net.au/tag/120-biscuits-for-less-than-5/
(promises to make 120 biscuits/cookies for less than $5) have a basic
recipe that you can alter to make different varieties.
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
bulk and/or at a cheaper price? I ask because I travel a little further
than our local supermarket to some markets where I can usually buy fruit &
veg at half the supermarket price. Maybe there is some kind of fruit/veg
buying co-op? Or perhaps there's a way to get "seconds" - fruit that maybe
is wonky in shape or not evenly coloured, ie not "perfect". Depending on
where you live though, your options may be limited.
Bananas are very cheap here at the moment so I'm buying lots. Once they're
ripe they go into the freezer and the kids like to eat them frozen, or I
can throw them in smoothies.
As others have said, can you juggle your budget a little? Might it be
"worth it" to the kids to skip eating meat at one meal in order to have
more bananas?
There are lots of good recipes for making cheap baked goods. Some, like
this one http://www.stayathomemum.net.au/tag/120-biscuits-for-less-than-5/
(promises to make 120 biscuits/cookies for less than $5) have a basic
recipe that you can alter to make different varieties.
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Meredith
--- In [email protected], Kerryn LH <kerryn77@...> wrote:
>
> Are there other options for buying bananas? Is it possible to buy them in
> bulk and/or at a cheaper price? I ask because I travel a little further
> than our local supermarket to some markets where I can usually buy fruit &
> veg at half the supermarket price. Maybe there is some kind of fruit/veg
> buying co-op? Or perhaps there's a way to get "seconds" - fruit that maybe
> is wonky in shape or not evenly coloured, ie not "perfect". Depending on
> where you live though, your options may be limited.
>
> Bananas are very cheap here at the moment so I'm buying lots. Once they're
> ripe they go into the freezer and the kids like to eat them frozen, or I
> can throw them in smoothies.
>
> As others have said, can you juggle your budget a little? Might it be
> "worth it" to the kids to skip eating meat at one meal in order to have
> more bananas?
>
> There are lots of good recipes for making cheap baked goods. Some, like
> this one http://www.stayathomemum.net.au/tag/120-biscuits-for-less-than-5/
> (promises to make 120 biscuits/cookies for less than $5) have a basic
> recipe that you can alter to make different varieties.
>
>
> [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>