brandi yates

Im thinking about unschooling. We are enrolled in K12 right now. The
literature is soo boring.

My question is: Right now he is very into Minecraft and should I be
concerned if he wants to play that game almost the entire day? I dont know
why Im so worried that he will never find anything he would enjoy as a
career but it is always in the back of my mind. I keep thinking he should
be looking for something he could study on his own so he will be happy as an
adult making money in something he enjoys.


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Debra Rossing

> My question is: Right now he is very into Minecraft and should I be concerned if he wants to play that game almost the entire day? I don't know why I'm so worried that he will never find anything he would enjoy as a career but it is always in the back of my mind. I keep thinking he should be looking for something he could study on his own so he will be happy as an adult making money in something he enjoys.

You mean besides designing, programming, testing videogames or software in general (major big career paths there)? Besides graphics arts/design? Besides the entire entertainment industry (music, movies, etc)? How exactly would he know what he would enjoy as a career at this point in his life? Why should he narrow things down to ONE way to make money? He IS studying something on his own right now - are you seeing that? He may even end up in a career in physics or architecture or landscape design or construction - all those things are part of Minecraft (I know, because I've got a 13 yr old Minecrafter at home). For that matter, maybe HE'LL be an at home parent while his partner works for money - my DH has been the at home parent since DS was not quite 2. At the same time, my DH has a craft business (making and selling beautiful and useful duct tape items like tote bags and wallets) AND a brand new business as a Pampered Chef consultant (because he LOVES to cook and share that love with other people). He's making money at TWO things he enjoys without ever having "studied" for either one and neither is something his parents would have said "go study this" to. He also got out of school HATING school, didn't go on to college. Worked for a decade. Started in a mailroom job at one company, ended up doing software phone support at another and then doing support, testing, and website design at a third (back in the day when website design was all hand-coded HTML which he taught himself). THEN, at age 27, two years after we got married, he CHOSE to attend a university because he found something he was passionate about and the university had all the resources to pursue that in one convenient location. So now he has a bachelor's degree and he's an at home parent and he has TWO money making businesses and he gets to use what he learned in university when and how he chooses without all the day to day stuff that would go with a full time career in that area.

So, now, why is it exactly that you want him to pick something to 'study' now?

Deb R



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brandi yates

Thanks :) This really is sort of my own problem one that I have. I "think"
that high school started a major depression for me. I used drugs a lot and
although I made good grades, I was absolutely miserable. I went to several
mental hospitals and ended up on disability for major depression. I am
still on disability. I ended up getting married and now have four children.
The depression is still there and the fear of not having enough money
caused me to research making money online. I started making money from home
on the side. I think I am just worried he wont find anything he is
passionate about because I dont want them working 9 - 5 at something they
dont like. I think that is also the reason people put their kids in school
because they think there are certain steps everyone has to take to be
"successful". A good preschool, read early, get in the "gifted program"
(that one really bothers me), make the honor roll, be popular and well liked
in highschool. Graduate from highschool (Oh and this whole time you cant
miss more than 7 days of school per year unless you want to go to court),
get into a decent college, etc..

I dont care if he goes to college because all you really need is to teach
yourself a skill to be successful and with the internet and books it is all
there. My husband is a computer programmer who taught himself everything.
He went to an online college just to have the "paper" he needed. Employers
really only want someone who can teach themselves anyway! If it wasnt for
my kids having to go out into the work world rat race and needing money I
probably wouldnt worry so much.

I need to trust my kids but I dont want them to go through what I did. I
graduated high school and tried to work a regular job (many different jobs)
only to stay depressed and had terrible social anxiety. The worries I have
had about myself are worrying me the same about my kids.

Meredith

brandi yates <brandi.yates@...> wrote:
>I keep thinking he should
> be looking for something he could study on his own so he will be happy as an
> adult making money in something he enjoys.

I like what Deb wrote. I have a slightly different perspective, which is that what one loves, is passionate about, doesn't always pay, and that's not a bad thing. Parenting doesn't pay very well, for instance. And there's baggage around that - it gets framed as a "lesser" occupation despite the fact that competent parenting takes a good bit of thought and effort. And its something to be passionate about.

Art doesn't always pay, either, and its a big source of passion for many people. Making money off artwork depends on market forces and some degree of business sense - things which can get in the way of doing what one loves. That's why a lot of artists have "day jobs".

And then there's volunteer work - some of which can be paid work in the right field but it doesn't have to be and in some cases loses in value when it moves into the realm of paid labor. Keeping unschooling information free and readily available, for example, takes the time and energy of people who are passionate about sharing that information. It's not a Bad thing to get money for writing and public speaking and even working as a homeschool consultant, but there's a particular value to keeping some resources available at no cost to those who need them.

Parenting and art and charity work tend to get painted as "leisure" activities (snort) but they're active passions for a lot of people. It's not a terrible thing to have a day-job which isn't a source of passion or personal fulfillment in order to make one's other interests attainable.

---Meredith

Meredith

brandi yates <brandi.yates@...> wrote:
>> I need to trust my kids but I dont want them to go through what I did.

It helps to remind yourself: they are not you. They are not living your life over again, they're living their own. And one of the things unschooling lets you do is help them see they have more choices in their lives. School doesn't set you up with many choices: comply, resist, rebel. Outside of school the world is much, much bigger and richer.

>If it wasnt for
> my kids having to go out into the work world rat race and needing money I
> probably wouldnt worry so much.

It can help to shift your perspective - if your goal isn't to "win" the race, then you have a lot more options. It took me awhile to wrap my head around the idea that I don't have to "win" anything - in a lot of ways, I've already won. I have a warm, loving family around me. I have a cozy little home in a place I like. I'm well fed. In terms of much of the population of the world, my life is an outrageous success! So I can't afford to have Both netflix and a satellite dish, my car is run down, my house needs a bit of work, and my garden is currently a shambles! I don't have to look at all that and see "loser" I can choose to see all the ways I'm fortunate, all the abundance and joy which surrounds me.

http://www.sandradodd.com/joy

---Meredith

Tova

"It took me awhile to wrap my head around the idea that I don't have to
"win" anything - in a lot of ways, I've already won. I have a warm,
loving family around me. I have a cozy little home in a place I like.
I'm well fed. In terms of much of the population of the world, my life
is an outrageous success! So I can't afford to have Both netflix and a
satellite dish, my car is run down, my house needs a bit of work, and my
garden is currently a shambles! I don't have to look at all that and
see "loser" I can choose to see all the ways I'm fortunate, all the
abundance and joy which surrounds me."

Meredith,
That is lovely.

Life isn't a race or a destination, it is a journey. Death comes all too soon. Let's stop and smell the roses now. Let's count our simple blessings. I know it's hard to do in a stuff obsessed culture.

Debra Rossing

> I think I am just worried he won't find anything he is passionate about because I don't want them working 9 - 5 at something they don't like.

That's THEIR choice not yours, isn't it? I work fulltime at something I'm good at, that pays well, has nice benefits. Is it something I'm "passionate" about? Not so much. I'd just as soon be at home hanging out with my hubby and son and the dog. But, this allows us to live the lifestyle we all love. It funds our passions. They might find something that they are passionate about that pays enough to live on. They might not. As Meredith mentioned, they might take a 'day job' to fund their passion. I know a young man, have known him since he was a teenager. His passion is cartooning (and he's really GOOD!). He took a 'day job' working nights (LOL) at a mini-mart/convenience store because that fit with his night owl preferences, it was generally quiet which gave him lots of time to think and sketch, and it funded his purchases of art supplies and trips to comic conventions. http://www.toddbot.com/ is his website - he is now making a living in art/comics/cartooning but there have been times along the way when he had a 'day job' to pay the rent.


>I think that is also the reason people put their kids in school because they think there are certain steps everyone has to take to be "successful". A good preschool, read early, get in the "gifted program" (that one really bothers me), make the honor roll, be popular and well liked in high school. Graduate from high school (Oh and this whole time you can't miss more than 7 days of school per year unless you want to go to court), get into a decent college, etc..

I think a lot of people are seeing the fallacy in this more and more as those class valedictorians and honor students and PhD grads are out flipping burgers or delivering newspapers to make ends meet in this economy. Not that flipping burgers or delivering papers is "less" really but that's how it has been framed "go to school and get good grades or you'll end up flipping burgers!" "Successful" is in the process of being redefined IMO because the previous definition is taking a beating.


Deb R



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