Creating an enriching environment...
Kristie
I would love to hear your thoughts and experience with providing an interesting
and enriching environment for your children. I have several young children, and
it is hard to have much out because they are always dumping or destroying...
So I guess this is really two questions.
~ What does providing and interesting and enriching environment look like at
your house?
~ Are my little kids bored, or are they just being little kids? They are 5, 3
and 2. My house looks like a tornado hit it every single day. I try to limit
the chaos by limiting what's out...but on the other hand, I'd love to have more
things available, such as puzzles and games.
Thanks,
Kristie
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and enriching environment for your children. I have several young children, and
it is hard to have much out because they are always dumping or destroying...
So I guess this is really two questions.
~ What does providing and interesting and enriching environment look like at
your house?
~ Are my little kids bored, or are they just being little kids? They are 5, 3
and 2. My house looks like a tornado hit it every single day. I try to limit
the chaos by limiting what's out...but on the other hand, I'd love to have more
things available, such as puzzles and games.
Thanks,
Kristie
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Meredith
Kristie <messy_boys@...> wrote:
Ooooh, that sounds like a good place to start. Lots of stuff to dump and destroy sounds nicely rich to me ;)
Personality matters. Some kids interact with the world very physically - young children do this in general, but some kids much more so than others. If your kids are dumping, make sure they have lots of things to dump. In part, they're learning about the physical properties of the world - about causes and effects, gravity, and entropy. If they also like to play with small toys, keep those kinds of effects in mind. What can they shake, stir, pour, toss, squish and smash? Help them find those things.
Destroying is important to some kids. Again, its a way of learning about physical properties. What are things Made of? A very young child conceptualizes the whole question in very direct ways, but the question itself is one that can motivate people to a life of learning through dis-assembly. Engineering and surgery, choreography, computer programming and literary review all depend on breaking things down into smaller parts - destruction. So if you have a destroyer in the house, help him or her find the "right" things to destroy so your house is still standing afterwards ;) That may mean going to thrift stores to buy things to disassemble - toys to electronics to bicycles. My brother used to take things apart and he just got his third patent!
Do what you can to streamline cleanup, but also consider how much cleanup you really really Need to do. It can be easier - and make more sense to kids - to clean something at the beginning of a project rather than the end, for instance. "Let's clean the table so we can get out the play-dough" makes more sense than cleaning up at some ill-defined "end".
I used to plan outings to save on housework in poor weather - if kids are inside all day for days on end, things can get crazy in terms of mess and parental overwhelm, so it can help to get out and let them play somewhere else. That's another way to make life bigger and richer, too.
---Meredith
>First, I'm going to quibble over words. "Enriching" can have educational connotations, especially for someone like me with a lot of background in educational theory. It could be better to think "big and rich".
> I would love to hear your thoughts and experience with providing an interesting
> and enriching environment for your children.
> I have several young children, and**************
> it is hard to have much out because they are always dumping or destroying...
Ooooh, that sounds like a good place to start. Lots of stuff to dump and destroy sounds nicely rich to me ;)
Personality matters. Some kids interact with the world very physically - young children do this in general, but some kids much more so than others. If your kids are dumping, make sure they have lots of things to dump. In part, they're learning about the physical properties of the world - about causes and effects, gravity, and entropy. If they also like to play with small toys, keep those kinds of effects in mind. What can they shake, stir, pour, toss, squish and smash? Help them find those things.
Destroying is important to some kids. Again, its a way of learning about physical properties. What are things Made of? A very young child conceptualizes the whole question in very direct ways, but the question itself is one that can motivate people to a life of learning through dis-assembly. Engineering and surgery, choreography, computer programming and literary review all depend on breaking things down into smaller parts - destruction. So if you have a destroyer in the house, help him or her find the "right" things to destroy so your house is still standing afterwards ;) That may mean going to thrift stores to buy things to disassemble - toys to electronics to bicycles. My brother used to take things apart and he just got his third patent!
> ~ Are my little kids bored, or are they just being little kids? They are 5, 3They're being kids.
> and 2. My house looks like a tornado hit it every single day.
Do what you can to streamline cleanup, but also consider how much cleanup you really really Need to do. It can be easier - and make more sense to kids - to clean something at the beginning of a project rather than the end, for instance. "Let's clean the table so we can get out the play-dough" makes more sense than cleaning up at some ill-defined "end".
I used to plan outings to save on housework in poor weather - if kids are inside all day for days on end, things can get crazy in terms of mess and parental overwhelm, so it can help to get out and let them play somewhere else. That's another way to make life bigger and richer, too.
> ~ Are my little kids bored...?Watch them. Do they Seem bored, or are they having fun? At their age, "bored" generally means they need more attention, so if you think boredom is a problem, spend more time where they are, doing what they're doing and offering to do things with them. Invite them along when you're doing tasks around the house, too- let them see the big, important grown-up world and invite them to take part in it. That's good fun for little kids.
---Meredith
Carolyn
I have the same problem, so look forward to how others handle this. My hubby likes the house picked up when he gets home or I would not care. Even when I am cleaning they Like to re dump the bin I just filled (ages 3 and 16 months)
Sent from my iPod
Sent from my iPod
Meredith
Carolyn <ch1qui74@...> wrote:
This is kind of a different question - cleaning for husbands, I mean. Chances are your kids see the fill-dump game as great fun! So you might do that with them as an actual game at some point during the day.
But for cleaning, it could help to try to arrange your day so the kids are doing something like watch a movie or work on a project when dad comes in. That gives you time to do a quick run through right before he walks in the door. George actually does something like that for me, now that I'm the working parent, but with the kitchen - he runs through, clears the counters and starts doing dishes so the kitchen looks pretty good when I walk through the door.
Having the Very First room your husband sees clear of clutter will probably go a long way. Does he come in right into the "living room" or wherever the toys mostly are? That's harder, but if you can engage the kids in something specific you may be able to gain enough breathing space to have the entry picked up for a little while. Does he like to be greeted at the door? You could have them do a project to present to him when he comes it. That's a big thrill for some dads/working parents - happy children running up with presents for him.
They won't be this little forever! So you don't need a permanent solution, just something for now.
---Meredith
>****************
> My hubby likes the house picked up when he gets home or I would not care. Even when I am cleaning they Like to re dump the bin I just filled (ages 3 and 16 months)
This is kind of a different question - cleaning for husbands, I mean. Chances are your kids see the fill-dump game as great fun! So you might do that with them as an actual game at some point during the day.
But for cleaning, it could help to try to arrange your day so the kids are doing something like watch a movie or work on a project when dad comes in. That gives you time to do a quick run through right before he walks in the door. George actually does something like that for me, now that I'm the working parent, but with the kitchen - he runs through, clears the counters and starts doing dishes so the kitchen looks pretty good when I walk through the door.
Having the Very First room your husband sees clear of clutter will probably go a long way. Does he come in right into the "living room" or wherever the toys mostly are? That's harder, but if you can engage the kids in something specific you may be able to gain enough breathing space to have the entry picked up for a little while. Does he like to be greeted at the door? You could have them do a project to present to him when he comes it. That's a big thrill for some dads/working parents - happy children running up with presents for him.
They won't be this little forever! So you don't need a permanent solution, just something for now.
---Meredith
Carolyn
This was helpful and it is kinda funny but I just figured out recently that cleaning up to to a project works. In my case it has been I want to puck this up to make room to do this and there is cooperation in helping. For my 3 year old daughter her dumping besides bins of toys is clothes. Emptying out all the clothes out of drawers and throwing them all over. Still dumping? Same reasons? Dont squash it? Needless to say things do not stay neatly folded here.
Sent from my iPod
Sent from my iPod
Meredith
Carolyn <ch1qui74@...> wrote:
Oooooh, and Fabric looks so pretty when it flutters to the floor, and makes such fascinating patterns in the way it falls. Some fabrics crumple, while others collapse in sensuous folds.... I used to work in a fabric store and some women just love to unfold bit bolts of fabric, flutter it about and see how it lies, touch it and play with it. It's called "shopping" ;)
---Meredith
>For my 3 year old daughter her dumping besides bins of toys is clothes. Emptying out all the clothes out of drawers and throwing them all over. Still dumping? Same reasons?***************
Oooooh, and Fabric looks so pretty when it flutters to the floor, and makes such fascinating patterns in the way it falls. Some fabrics crumple, while others collapse in sensuous folds.... I used to work in a fabric store and some women just love to unfold bit bolts of fabric, flutter it about and see how it lies, touch it and play with it. It's called "shopping" ;)
---Meredith
Carolyn
Thanks that really helped. What about cleaning up afterwards? I recently started the clean up to make room for the new task they want to do but other than that they just make messes and I clean up as they are so young. When does that change?
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Sent from my iPod
Meredith
Carolyn <ch1qui74@...> wrote:
Something to consider in terms of cleaning: in much of the adult world it's common for people to Not clean up their own messes. There are whole occupations around cleaning and the busier a person or job site is, the more like there will be people (individuals or entire subcontracted businesses) whose specific job is to clean. It's mainly in the home and with children that cleaning is seen as a task of those who are otherwise engaged.
---Meredith
>they just make messes and I clean up as they are so young.It helps to take the "just" out of that sentence and see Why they are "making messes" - they're busy people, busy learning and discovering. That's important! it's what they're meant to be doing right now, learning about the world in very direct, hands-on ways.
>>When does that change?Cleaning up is an adult thing. It's something kids will start to do voluntarily around puberty, even if you never "make them" clean up. You can ask them to help, and when it makes sense for them to do so (makes sense To them) and they have the time in their busy, busy lives, they'll pitch in, but it's better not to hang your hopes on that. When they have the time and energy, the perspective and empathy to do so, they'll help out - that's true even of toddlers, but their perspective isn't very broad yet, so they only help out in ways that make sense from Their perspective. If you want to support that desire to help, see the ways your children are kind and thoughtful already, in their own ways.
Something to consider in terms of cleaning: in much of the adult world it's common for people to Not clean up their own messes. There are whole occupations around cleaning and the busier a person or job site is, the more like there will be people (individuals or entire subcontracted businesses) whose specific job is to clean. It's mainly in the home and with children that cleaning is seen as a task of those who are otherwise engaged.
---Meredith
[email protected]
Let me go ask my husband. . . :)
Nance
Nance
--- In [email protected], Carolyn <ch1qui74@...> wrote:
>
> Thanks that really helped. What about cleaning up afterwards? I recently started the clean up to make room for the new task they want to do but other than that they just make messes and I clean up as they are so young. When does that change?
>
> Sent from my iPod
>
Kelly Lovejoy
I read Nance's response to my husband. He laughed out loud. <g>
Look at their messes as remnants of a large construction site. They're
building their worlds. It's messy work. No two ways about it. You get
to be the Clean Up Crew. You get to see how far they've come since
yesterday.
One day you won't be cleaning the same mess. Really! It could be the
same mess day after day for months. Suddenly, the mess is completely
different: three year old's messes are a whole 'nother animal than
five year old's messes. Eight? Twelve? Sixteen?
You get to mentally record---or blog or journal if you want to!---the
amazing growth that happens gradually AND suddenly. (I notice Meredith
hasn't written about Morgan's paper cuttings in years, but I know from
her writings how much of Mo's days were spent cutting up paper at one
time! And Meredith's cleaning time!)
Children grow. Children change. My house is spotless right now (well,
except for the dining/business office room). My boys (15 & 23) are
traveling through Europe. Nothing to pick up around here except the
sponges the dog chewed up this morning.
I know it's overwhelming sometimes---especially if you have several
young ones, but your job as Cleaning Crew to their messes is an
important one. Do it graciously and joyfully, and you will be repaid
in spades.
It changes overnight. Seriously. One night you'll go to bed too
exhausted to clean one more thing, and you'll wake up to a spotless
kitchen/den. Some pixies must've done it. <g>. And the really cool
thing? They did it out of love and generosity like you've done for
years.
Magic.
Kelly
Kelly Lovejoy
"Childhood is not a dress rehearsal"
On Oct 2, 2011, at 12:41 PM, "marbleface@..."
Look at their messes as remnants of a large construction site. They're
building their worlds. It's messy work. No two ways about it. You get
to be the Clean Up Crew. You get to see how far they've come since
yesterday.
One day you won't be cleaning the same mess. Really! It could be the
same mess day after day for months. Suddenly, the mess is completely
different: three year old's messes are a whole 'nother animal than
five year old's messes. Eight? Twelve? Sixteen?
You get to mentally record---or blog or journal if you want to!---the
amazing growth that happens gradually AND suddenly. (I notice Meredith
hasn't written about Morgan's paper cuttings in years, but I know from
her writings how much of Mo's days were spent cutting up paper at one
time! And Meredith's cleaning time!)
Children grow. Children change. My house is spotless right now (well,
except for the dining/business office room). My boys (15 & 23) are
traveling through Europe. Nothing to pick up around here except the
sponges the dog chewed up this morning.
I know it's overwhelming sometimes---especially if you have several
young ones, but your job as Cleaning Crew to their messes is an
important one. Do it graciously and joyfully, and you will be repaid
in spades.
It changes overnight. Seriously. One night you'll go to bed too
exhausted to clean one more thing, and you'll wake up to a spotless
kitchen/den. Some pixies must've done it. <g>. And the really cool
thing? They did it out of love and generosity like you've done for
years.
Magic.
Kelly
Kelly Lovejoy
"Childhood is not a dress rehearsal"
On Oct 2, 2011, at 12:41 PM, "marbleface@..."
> Let me go ask my husband. . . :)
>
> Nance
>
> --- In [email protected], Carolyn <ch1qui74@...>
> wrote:
>>
>> Thanks that really helped. What about cleaning up afterwards? I
>> recently started the clean up to make room for the new task they
>> want to do but other than that they just make messes and I clean up
>> as they are so young. When does that change?
>>
Carolyn G
i have not been on this group for long but you guys are amazing parents. so inspiring. i try to keep these thoughts in my head when things get rough but easier said than done. thanks
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Sacha Davis
I let go of cleaning up a while ago because I realized that my expectations were strongly coming in between myself and Finn. Getting my kids to clean up is not something I make a goal and once I let go of the expectation, I don't mind cleaning up after them. Finn will help clean up maybe 20% of the time, which is fine with me. Now my daughter, Zivia, is one, heavily in what I call the flotsam and jetsam stage, and my house is brought from semi-picked up to complete chaos on a daily basis. The girl can scatter crap across the floor like crazy. At least this time I know the mess will indeed change. Kelly is totally right about this. If the mess was the same I might go crazy.
S.
S.
On Oct 1, 2011, at 7:33 PM, Carolyn wrote:
> Thanks that really helped. What about cleaning up afterwards? I recently started the clean up to make room for the new task they want to do but other than that they just make messes and I clean up as they are so young. When does that change?
>
> Sent from my iPod
>
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