"I'm bored"
rbccelkoby
Hi,
What could the words "I"m bored" mean? I'm having a difficult time understanding why my daughter (almost 10), goes around saying those words all the time.
She's got a house full of ""stuff" strewn around for her to access from- books, dolls, games, computer, tv, art supplies.... and yet she claims she is bored.
She sometimes wants to do things with me then two minutes into it she pops up with "I'm bored" comment.
Sometimes I suggest we go places and she'll say she does not want to she'd rather stay home but then complains that she is bored. Or, if she does say, "lets go somewhere", after very little time, sometimes even a few minutes, she'll say she's ready to leave and go home. Then its back to her saying she's bored again, at home.
Not exactly sure what this means. I know if you just let them be eventually they will find something that pleases and interests them. But sometimes I watch her and it almost seems like there is an inner struggle or an uncalm within her. Not sure if I explained that very well.
Any thoughts or suggestions would be helpful.
Thanks,
Rebecca
What could the words "I"m bored" mean? I'm having a difficult time understanding why my daughter (almost 10), goes around saying those words all the time.
She's got a house full of ""stuff" strewn around for her to access from- books, dolls, games, computer, tv, art supplies.... and yet she claims she is bored.
She sometimes wants to do things with me then two minutes into it she pops up with "I'm bored" comment.
Sometimes I suggest we go places and she'll say she does not want to she'd rather stay home but then complains that she is bored. Or, if she does say, "lets go somewhere", after very little time, sometimes even a few minutes, she'll say she's ready to leave and go home. Then its back to her saying she's bored again, at home.
Not exactly sure what this means. I know if you just let them be eventually they will find something that pleases and interests them. But sometimes I watch her and it almost seems like there is an inner struggle or an uncalm within her. Not sure if I explained that very well.
Any thoughts or suggestions would be helpful.
Thanks,
Rebecca
jodie aldridge
My son (almost 6) in the past, used the phrase "I'm bored" when he was in situations he felt uncomfortable with.
He was not actually 'bored' but needed a shift in what we were doing, who we were with. Or somtimes he used the phrase when he was scared or anxious. Or needed me to be closer with him mentally and/or physically. It was his kinda way to make things which were not happening or feeling good, to happen. He is sesitive about talking about his emotions when they are not happy ones, so "I'm bored" is how he expressed himself.
Just a thought that for your daughter, there may be a deeper need or reason for saying she's bored other than the need to relieve bordom.
Best wishes
Jodie
He was not actually 'bored' but needed a shift in what we were doing, who we were with. Or somtimes he used the phrase when he was scared or anxious. Or needed me to be closer with him mentally and/or physically. It was his kinda way to make things which were not happening or feeling good, to happen. He is sesitive about talking about his emotions when they are not happy ones, so "I'm bored" is how he expressed himself.
Just a thought that for your daughter, there may be a deeper need or reason for saying she's bored other than the need to relieve bordom.
Best wishes
Jodie
On Tue, 20 Sep 2011 04:34 PDT rbccelkoby wrote:
>Hi,
>
>What could the words "I"m bored" mean? I'm having a difficult time understanding why my daughter (almost 10), goes around saying those words all the time.
>
>She's got a house full of ""stuff" strewn around for her to access from- books, dolls, games, computer, tv, art supplies.... and yet she claims she is bored.
>She sometimes wants to do things with me then two minutes into it she pops up with "I'm bored" comment.
>
>Sometimes I suggest we go places and she'll say she does not want to she'd rather stay home but then complains that she is bored. Or, if she does say, "lets go somewhere", after very little time, sometimes even a few minutes, she'll say she's ready to leave and go home. Then its back to her saying she's bored again, at home.
>
>Not exactly sure what this means. I know if you just let them be eventually they will find something that pleases and interests them. But sometimes I watch her and it almost seems like there is an inner struggle or an uncalm within her. Not sure if I explained that very well.
>
>Any thoughts or suggestions would be helpful.
>Thanks,
>Rebecca
>
Debra Rossing
"I'm bored" at our house often has meant "I want to do something WITH YOU - with your FULL attention and focus." Sometimes it means that he needs physical exertion for his big muscles. Sometimes it's a sign that he's at a transition - we've heard that more in the last year I think than ever before. He's just turned 13 this summer and is at that neither fish nor fowl stage. He's not a little kid anymore but he's not quite sure of the footing ahead of him, he's kind of feeling his way into who and what he wants to be next on his journey. I have learned (sometimes painfully) that my best answer to "I'm bored" (and its cousin "I have no idea what I want to do now") is "Okay, come give me a hug" Even at 13, nearly as tall as I am, he'll come snuggle on my lap (if I'm sitting) or we'll have a big long hug, no words necessarily, just a hug. Then we move along from there in whatever direction seems best at the time.
Deb R
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Meredith
"rbccelkoby" <rbccelkoby@...> wrote:
Sometimed kids get bored more around a developmental shift - they want something new and different, but don't know what.
---Meredith
> What could the words "I"m bored" mean?Morgan has used them to mean she wants some company. She also has used them to mean that she wants to do Something but doesn't know what - she needs some ideas, or even just some time to think. In the latter case, since she gets irritated if I suggest the "wrong" things, it has helped for me to say "sometimes I just don't know what I want to do" or words to that effect. Not try to guess what she means, but talk about times I've felt "bored" and what that has meant to me.
Sometimed kids get bored more around a developmental shift - they want something new and different, but don't know what.
---Meredith
irelandkelly10
Hello
I am hoping for some advice on the above statement.
I am a mum to four home educated, unschooled kids. My partner works away three days a week so I am flying solo quite often. The children are eleven, nine, eight and four years old. My eldest is my only girl.
I regularly get told by one or more child throughout the day that they are bored. I've tried strewing but it doesn't always seem to work as they will bypass what I've left out, and they normally announce their boredom whilst I am doing something with another child.
How can I improve this?
Many thanks for any advice,
Kelly
I am hoping for some advice on the above statement.
I am a mum to four home educated, unschooled kids. My partner works away three days a week so I am flying solo quite often. The children are eleven, nine, eight and four years old. My eldest is my only girl.
I regularly get told by one or more child throughout the day that they are bored. I've tried strewing but it doesn't always seem to work as they will bypass what I've left out, and they normally announce their boredom whilst I am doing something with another child.
How can I improve this?
Many thanks for any advice,
Kelly
Joyce Fetteroll
On Jun 28, 2012, at 3:37 AM, irelandkelly10 wrote:
Are you usually off doing other things while the kids play? Unschooling is about being more involved. And then using *their* signals to let you know when your presence isn't needed. Right now their signals suggest you're not present enough.
Rather than seeing each "I'm bored," as a momentary feeling, see it as communication about the big picture.
Get out of the house more (unless they don't like leaving.) Do things you've never done before. It doesn't need to be big and exciting. Go to a grocery store you've never been to. Go to a town you've never been to. Go to a farmer's market or stand. A new playground.
Sandra Dodd has a page:
http://sandradodd.com/BoredNoMore
Joyce
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
> they normally announce their boredom whilst I am doing something with another child.I'd interpret the "I'm bored" as "I'm lonely." By looking for things for her to do you're essentially saying "Go away." Draw them closer :-) Be proactive in doing things with them before they signal that their buckets are empty with "I'm bored."
Are you usually off doing other things while the kids play? Unschooling is about being more involved. And then using *their* signals to let you know when your presence isn't needed. Right now their signals suggest you're not present enough.
Rather than seeing each "I'm bored," as a momentary feeling, see it as communication about the big picture.
Get out of the house more (unless they don't like leaving.) Do things you've never done before. It doesn't need to be big and exciting. Go to a grocery store you've never been to. Go to a town you've never been to. Go to a farmer's market or stand. A new playground.
Sandra Dodd has a page:
http://sandradodd.com/BoredNoMore
Joyce
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Meredith
"irelandkelly10" <irelandkelly10@...> wrote:
Bored is a funny word, a good snapshot of how people learn language, because it seems to mean different things to different people. Many times, "bored" means "I need some attention". Given what you said, above, I'd look for ways to offer attention to more than one child at a time - talk to one while touching another, that sort of thing.
Many times it means "I just finished one thing and don't know what I want to do next" - that's what my daughter means by "I'm bored" and a variation on that meaning is part of a developmental stage: "I've outgrown my old pleasures and don't know what's out there". Lot's of kids suddenly start saying "I'm bored" around age 7 for that reason, for example.
It will probably help if you offer to do things With them, rather than just leaving things out. Or maybe just start doing something new, yourself. Mo gets very indecisive if I start offering and asking, so it helps her if I pick something up and start playing or building or put on a movie or audio book for my own pleasure.
---Meredith
>they normally announce their boredom whilst I am doing something with another child*****************
Bored is a funny word, a good snapshot of how people learn language, because it seems to mean different things to different people. Many times, "bored" means "I need some attention". Given what you said, above, I'd look for ways to offer attention to more than one child at a time - talk to one while touching another, that sort of thing.
Many times it means "I just finished one thing and don't know what I want to do next" - that's what my daughter means by "I'm bored" and a variation on that meaning is part of a developmental stage: "I've outgrown my old pleasures and don't know what's out there". Lot's of kids suddenly start saying "I'm bored" around age 7 for that reason, for example.
>>I've tried strewing but it doesn't always seem to work as they will bypass what I've left out****************
It will probably help if you offer to do things With them, rather than just leaving things out. Or maybe just start doing something new, yourself. Mo gets very indecisive if I start offering and asking, so it helps her if I pick something up and start playing or building or put on a movie or audio book for my own pleasure.
---Meredith
Kelly
Thank you for the ideas and feedback. I think that it s a reference to me not doing stuff with them rather than not having things to do. My four year old is taking up a lot of time at the moment and I think my older children are maybe feeling it but not sure how to translate it into more developed language. My seven year old is especially "bored" so Meredith what you said makes total sense for him!
I'm looking into some summer events that we can all do together, and roping in a neighbours daughter to spend time with my four year old (he adores her so will see it as a treat) so I can spend some time with my other three.
I'm going to mull over the advice and see where it takes us, thanks again,
Kelly
Sent from my iPad
I'm looking into some summer events that we can all do together, and roping in a neighbours daughter to spend time with my four year old (he adores her so will see it as a treat) so I can spend some time with my other three.
I'm going to mull over the advice and see where it takes us, thanks again,
Kelly
Sent from my iPad